Tag Archives: murder

402. Who am I within Abuse?

I’ve been looking at the word abuse for quite some time now and how we are so used on ‘calling out abuse’ but never really understanding the process as SELF-abuse at all times.

Why do I keep coming back to this topic/word or aspect of ourselves? It seems to be a point within me that I’ve explored only through reading books, using images to depict the consequences that I believe/believed we deserve for abusing ourselves, each other and the planet and how the most shocking revelations within my life came to be within the realization of every single point of abuse being in fact my own expression as well – how? through the understanding of the mind-mechanics, the processes that take place in my mind toward myself, my physical body every time that I participate in thinking, becoming emotional and essentially as we know the usual functioning of our body which also requires energy to exist. The sheer relationship of Energy and how it is created implies a process of friction in order to be created. You can imagine the creation of fire by rubbing to sticks which is essentially creating friction so that the sparks can ignite the dry wood into fire. This is a rather elementary explanation, but this is to understand how it is that the creation of energy in itself is not a self-supportive process – once you burn the twigs or wood, you consume it, it transforms into ashes. Well, the same happens with ourselves and our bodies with all the energy we create every time we participate in the mind through emotions/feelings or thoughts that are also charged with an experience in them. Essentially we create our internal ‘oil spills’ in our body, even when one can get angry for calling out abuse so, this is how it is rather necessary to understand this process of SELF-Abuse before even being willing to ‘call out on abuse’

 

Facing the Evil of OUrselves

 

 

Energy is also the motive, the driving force in our outside world and we’ve even created a structure, a belief system to represent it, it is the monetary system that we’ve used to essentially control and define power, and as such we have enslaved us through making it only available to those that work hard for it – apparently – or those that can give themselves the right to print it by their divine hand. Is that abuse? Well yes first of all because we’re using trees to create such ‘money’ but also because it is meant to precisely limit the access to our living resources. It is thus why we are so bound to it, we live in constant fear of survival and that’s for sure another way of abusing each other through this structural violence we have created as our current world system where either you work and/or cheat or die.

Isn’t that the sheer definition of abuse? Yes, it is and we collectively participate in this religion, where we have collectively decided that ‘some’ must have all the control over it, while the rest live a life of misery, struggle and suffering to get that paper that some can simply print or put in as numbers in a bank account…. Yes, you as I can breathe after saying/reading this as one can see the level of abuse that is accepted and allowed yet legitimized as ‘how things operate’ apparently, with no ‘change’ being made possible.

 

Now, what I’ve found throughout this process to be a challenge is to not create separation towards those that I’ve defined as abusive, even though one can find out and see the evidence of such abuse and can even witness with one’s own eyes – ‘they’ the ‘abusers’ are also myself. This is a humbling experience, maybe one that initially I would not want to fully embrace as it’s become such an ingrained thing to just ‘point fingers at another’ and blame them for what they’ve done, to be disgusted at ‘them’ but there is really no ‘them’ here – ‘they’ are also myself, yet at the same time each one will be individually accountable for what each one has accepted and allowed and how such point of abuse affected the totality of what is here.The shame, the guilt, the regret, the damnation upon myself and everyone else that stemmed from that moment I’ve rather turned it into a test for my stability, an opening, an awareness to get to know of and investigate any other form of abuse that I had previously neglected as part of myself as well.

 

We do it to ourselves

 

Seems we haven’t gotten sufficient consequences already in our world and reality because we haven’t changed much even with major threats of even our own extermination if we continue to live in these abusive ways.

So far, investigating the abuse, the evil, the abject of our reality is rather  of empowering too as a point where we no longer fear ourselves, our real nature but instead can – for a lack of a better expression – embrace it, understand it and within such understanding, finally be able to self-forgive it, finally be able to let go of any reaction that may emerge when taking a look at our ‘dark side’ which we’ve only feared looking at without realizing that that’s where the actual ‘truth’ of ourselves resides in, and not a truth to remain as it is and simply ‘embrace it’ as a form of acceptance – no, not at all, but as a necessary realization that will and is causing unbearable shocks and pain in this world. Maybe it is necessary to have this shock be profound or else, we will forget it all over again as we’ve done generation after generation, coming into this world and fitting ourselves into the vilest forms of coexistence while painting it with flowers and seeing it as ‘normal’ just because that is what we see and hear all around us as the way to survive, ‘the way things are’ and have believed we’ll ‘always be,’ which I am here to ensure it does not remain as such ‘status quo.’

 

Whenever I witness something that is shocking, something that I have considered to be too cruel, too vile, too sad to be truth as part of our ‘human nature,’ I tend to see it as a separate expression from myself, as if it was only ‘someone else’s twisted deeds, without realizing that it is actually part of who and what we have become as the very nature of ourselves being that of evil, as the reverse of life. Now, I understand this might sound rather pessimistic to our usual deep desires to not have to face the side of ourselves that we tend to occult/hide with positivity and ‘good thoughts’ –  but it isn’t pessimistic at all, it’s who we are and have become –  one only has to look at the actual nature of one’s thoughts to understand then the ‘nature of the system’ and our ‘human nature’ that we’ve justified and excused for far too long.

abuse
1    use to bad effect or for a bad purpose.
2    treat with cruelty or violence. Ø assault sexually.
3    address in an insulting and offensive way.

1    the improper use of something.
2    cruel and violent treatment. Ø sexual assault.
3    insulting and offensive language.

 

I could define abuse as plain evil, the reverse of life, as in acting in a way that one can understand is not honoring and respecting something or someone, doing deliberate harm in order to get some form of personal gain – this is the nature that exists within each other’s mind and we haven’t yet been fully able to admit it and take responsibility for it. The sole ability to live the word abuse in our very own thinking patterns, behaviors and relationships with one another certainly creates the general atmosphere that we all breathe in and out of, it’s what we create as our reality of disregard, self-interest, greed, wanting more, wanting to abuse another to have some more, be better and superior than, be the king of it all, do the least effort, being the winner, the master, the god…

 

God won't save the queen now

 

 

Can I imagine a world without abuse?

It’s hard to conceive because we haven’t ever actually ‘lived’ without abusing, and that makes us ponder how much of ourselves would change if we had such ‘human abusive nature’ be transformed into the principle and consideration of what is best for all. However before jumping into such ‘utopia’ that it may appear to be, I’d rather keep disclosing what I’ve realized when watching certain movies or series where abuse is rather notorious.

 

When watching bits of The Act of Killing for a second time, I realized that what I was witnessing is in fact what has existed as our sole human nature since the beginning of our time and that Anwar – the main ‘character’ of the documentary – is in fact each one of us. We can’t remember our several lifetimes we’ve been here before, doing the same, repeating the same mistakes, committing the same abuse and then coming back and believing we have never done anything wrong and believing that there can be actual innocent individuals within this, whereas I can only conceive why we are here on Earth as a result of us being the ones that have actually abused for eons on time and are here to learn a very tough lesson: to face ourselves, our nature, our – probably – irremediable consequences up until the last drop of water dries up.

 

In my experience, I could see before how any form of abuse outraged me, however I thought myself to be a pristine righteous good and ‘noble’ individual until I started deconstructing myself and was able to see my own ‘evil’ as the reverse of life and how my ‘good intentions’ were tainted with self interest all over. If anything, I am interested in getting to know more about all the ‘dark side’ of our human psyche that we’ve hid from one another as that is where the actual crème of our human nature resides in. This means being able to confront that which I many times simply deliberately avoided looking at or getting to know of.

 

My first attendance to a protest was in 2006 where our governor was accused of being a pederast upon a recording that made national or maybe even international news and so, we the ‘indignados’ marched around the city hall asking him to quit – which he never did and I can only remember how even if I was already old enough to understand what being a pederast means, I could still not fathom why could that be something ‘attractive’ or exciting to an adult. Another point is the feminicide, the Muertas de Juárez, the ladies that were kidnapped/disappeared, killed and dropped around in the city like disposable objects after being used for rather unusual purposes. I once was at a conference wherein the reality of the nature of these killings was explained and I was shocked to the core of how authorities seemed to be implicated in these crimes and that’s why no one dared to speak up – that’s the first time I realized that I had been truly living a lie when it comes to ‘authorities’ and it was closer than I thought. There were mentions of satanic rituals and sadist masochism evidence on the women’s bodies,  which has now become part of our ‘pop culture’ with books like 50 shades of gray and completely mellowing the actual core of the abuse to transform it into an ‘exciting’ new way to spark up your sex life. Well, who has heard about the muertas of Juarez being part of these ritual abuses based on the evidence on the girls’ corpses? Not many, we fear being quieted down by authorities, and so we keep quiet. And within this: would blowing the whistle on this change the entire crime networks that exist around the world related to pedophiles, pornography, snuff films, satanic rituals and secret societies? Becoming aware of something is a starting point, but in the end the actual change to prevent it will have to exist at an individual level taking responsibility for such abuses. If anything we are becoming more aware of what is possible in our world and it’s also fascinating to see that this is hitting ‘mainstream’ with series like True Detective.

My perspective of why we are so drawn and fascinated by the ‘occult’ which means that which is hidden or obscured from seeing the broad daylight is because we actually fear looking at it, and so the experience of fear is what we turn into some form of attraction which then becomes part of our morbidity to all deviances and rather ‘morbid fascinations’ as I call them, in which we also try to ‘push the boundaries’ of what is socially acceptable which is sometimes done in an attempt to ‘break the spell’ of the usual happy-go-lucky mentality that is peddled around in order to sell, buy, consume, repeat and be ignorantly happy.

 

I’m still a bit intrigued as to how a show like True Detective made it into mainstream. It apparently ends in a ‘good way’ but it only scratches the dirt of a nail of the actual problem. It does, however, make more evident what is already part of our mainstream without being fully aware of it, such as the symbolism, the ‘lifestyles’ that we have come to see as ‘part of our culture’ and no longer any form of ‘conspiracy theory,’ but it is instead a way to make evident the decay of our human nature – maybe we have to hit the rock bottom so that once we get to be aware of and understand the vilest forms of existence that we’ve become, we can start pondering how the hell we allowed ourselves to go down the spiral without awareness of the actual consequences which are measurable in, for example,  kids today learning that being bad is rather cool, isn’t it? Being vile is the new trend, being a rebel, opposing the laws and ‘doing as you will’ which is the ultimate statement of disregard of the principle that in fact governs us all: oneness and equality, which is at the moment rather far from us waking up to realize the kind of crimes we’ve been committing against life on a daily basis, every single time we are not even aware of how we are actually and literally one and equal, part of the whole.

 

Girl Interrupted by Ultra Violence

 

In our minds we have concocted our inner most twisted fantasies that we have defended as ‘our own will’ whereas in the absolute realm of the whole there is no such thing as individual will, but only the creation of personal delusions in the name of excitement, of the illusion of power, of control, of rejoicing in believing one has some form of ‘control’ or can ‘possess’ something or someone.

I also see the necessity to unveil even the most scary, cruel, filthy, shaming stories of what we have become as human beings in order to look beyond our threshold o fears and understand what it is that happens when we allow our minds to run rampant and ‘get away with murder’ in a literal manner.

As I was mentioning, witnessing our real human nature even in fiction stories implies there’s part of us being depicted of course, as it is created in another human’s mind – so, nothing is really ‘detached’ from ourselves and as such even when we ‘thank god’ that ‘I am NOT THAT criminal, that abuser, that person in power committing heinous crimes against life’ – let’s ‘think’ again and rather realize it is ourselves doing it all along, we just like to pretend we are not, so that we can feel ‘less bad’ about ourselves. But as long as we hold on to an idea of perfection and looking at all the marvelous things we can be and become Without investigating the actuality, the real nature, the nitty gritty and not so pretty nature that exists within ourselves: nothing will in fact genuinely change.

I see the unveiling, the ‘apocalypse’ as the process we are going through right now, more and more evident and  ‘seeping through the cracks’ in our daily lives as it is now everywhere: in mass media, music, our behaviors, trends, habits everything that is being pushed as part of a larger agenda that is equally lost in its aim, not realizing that any person in a current perceived ‘position of power’ is none other than part of the chess game that was laid out long before even the notion of the ‘elites’ on Earth existed. This is our masterpiece, the world-system on this Earth, the end result of our wildest fantasies, dreams and fascinations and one can only look at how we are genuinely trashing ourselves, the world and our very own bodies every time that we give into the hypnotic state of  wanting to ‘feel good,’ wanting to ‘feel happy’ and ignore reality, a reality that I am certain if I could hear it in fact would be screaming in agony and pondering why the hell we are so bubbled-up that we cannot actually SEE every single form of abuse that we create within and without ourselves as our very own nature and in turn how nature itself operates as a reflection of such mechanism of abuse too, our own conditioning.

In this, I can only point out the role of the ‘younger’ detectives in True Detective –the ones that were interrogating Rustin Cohle -as the ones that try to mislead from getting to know the most vile nature of our reality, trying to make of ritualistic abuse and other forms of human nastiness as some kind of ‘sick joke’ or a thing for ‘conspiracy theorists and loonies,’ however, it is about time this is known so that the major well-kept masks in this world can fall, but not only those of the people in ‘greater powers’ and institutions, but of ourselves, to finally be able to confront and accept the fact that the ‘abusers’ are not ‘out there’ but inside of us, each one of us and so be able to integrate some humbleness to understand how it is that we have pointed fingers outside of ourselves and created ‘fiction’ stories to be able to swallow the truth in a less ‘offensive’ or ‘embarrassing’ way, because we are still too scared to realize our responsibility for it all.

 

God Bless the Child

 

It can also start by pondering when we get excited upon witnessing violence – which does happen/still exist – such as people that like to witness bulls being bullied/harassed/abused and killed in what is called the ‘fiesta brava’ or bullfights. The same with how in pedophile circles the participants rejoice seeing a baby or a kid being sexually abused. The same with the ‘excitement’ that sexual abuse creates in the abuser, or killing/murdering others, or setting off a bomb… this is what exists today and yes it is mostly linked to the idea of ‘power’ and having some well concocted reasons to justify it. I mean, how more blind do we have to be to not see and realize this?

So, this is not something to be feared or denied about ourselves as human beings, it is about understanding that even the most vile and atrocious nature of ourselves exists as a potential within each one of us, the same way that the most common sensical and benevolent potential exists within each one of us too and so, being rather willing to face our True Nature to begin self-forgiving it and redirecting it and so be self-directive within our minds, our ‘human nature’ as to stop all forms of self-abuse – which is to be understood and realized as the abuse upon myself or others, all equally affected.

 

 

Self Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel disgust, anger and also sadness when getting to know the extent of abuse that we can impose onto another that we haven’t recognized as ourselves and so doing so within the ignorance of who we all are as equals and how any point of abuse upon ‘another’ is in fact toward oneself.

I realize that my reactions to abuse create further abuse and as such, I have to be able to witness, get to know and realize the abuse we have created without giving into powerlessness, sadness, anger or even wanting to blame others for such abuse as reactions won’t ever solve the problem. I only can solve the problem first by stopping my own emotional experience, and then seeing who am I and where am I existing in relation to that problem myself.

I commit myself to then see what it would take for me to contribute to stopping such abuse and if it is ‘outside of my hands’ at the moment, I then focus on rather informing myself, becoming aware of how we have created such problem/point of abuse as well as supporting others to become aware of it so that through creating this awareness, we can altogether look at solutions that we can all implement – for example – through politics which implies the power of many joining toward the same outcome as one person alone cannot be ‘the one point of change’ only but it is through joining forces that we can certainly stand up and correct any point of abuse within ourselves first and then without.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience disbelief when it comes to realizing what I’ve become as a human being, the extent of disregard, neglect, harm, abuse, the additive search for power and control even if it goes against the majority of the living beings in this world.

I realize instead that this is the very mechanism in which we have come to exist and function as individuals and as such, there is no way to escape the reality and the facts, and wishing that things could be different because even if things could suddenly seem ‘better,’ I would still have to see if such ‘change’ is in fact self-change or just a new positive façade so as to not worry about the actual source and core of the problem which is always existent within ourselves, as the very nature of who we have become as our own minds, as the separation of self.

 

I commit myself to be able to see things that happen in my world without creating an experience about it, without becoming emotional about it as that’s where I see one loses ground and becomes part of the problem – therefore I direct myself to understand the situation, the cause, the problem and investigate within myself how I have contributed to this, how I am equally responsible and as such simply commit myself to do my part to stop such point of abuse even at the thought level.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see abuse in separation of myself, as if it was only some ‘powerful ones’ imposing it toward us/everyone else, instead of realizing myself as them as well doing all of that harm and abuse and existing as a fellow human being which I would have also hated back in an attempt to deny who I am in relation to them too, which is being also them, being one and equal to ‘them’ who I have defined as ‘being evil/bad/wrong’ in separation of myself as a denial of what exists here as myself.

I realize that denying or judging or reacting to a point of information, to someone else’s actions and words will do nothing for me to create a substantial change but that real change implies I stop, I ensure I do not react to this so that I am able to look at this point in full presence and stability so as to see the ‘full picture’ that’s entailed in any point of abuse for example, to see the ‘greater picture’ to not get fixated on a particular set of beings/people/actions but understand abuse from the greater context as who we are and have become generally.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within realizing this wanting to become defensive and distrustful toward others and go back to existing in the ‘fear toward the evil of humanity’ as some ingrained pattern I had walked through before. I realize that this is just me in my mind wanting to jump on to another ‘mindset’ as a false sense of security which doesn’t make sense at all.

 

Therefore I see and realize that I have to remain as breath, to be physically present and  not get caught up in memories and reactions or experiences but ensure I am seeing the point through the eyes of the physical, which means the eyes of understanding and so realizing that the chain massacre of abuse will be stopped from the moment that I decide to no longer acknowledge abuse as a point to react to in an emotional way as that would be like being separate to that which I am creating an experience of, because in recognizing everything as myself then creating an experience is like having schizophrenia really, reacting toward myself. So,

I commit myself to live the realization of being present as breath while witnessing something that I have defined as abuse, seeing information that relates to abusing ourselves which in such case I mean, If I was fully aware of everything that goes in this reality, I would constantly be crying or angry as everything that is here is existent as this point of abuse and so, it’s rather obvious that we cannot go on like this, we have to be able to rather focus on understanding to be able to prevent the problem from its root cause.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as desensitized when not reacting any longer to the various stories and mechanisms of abuse, as if I had been ‘cured’ of creating any form of freight or disgust at the same time, but I do have to be very wary of this point so as to not be repressing my experiences and not really seeing who I am in relation to the information that I come to know of, the images, the proofs and how everything fits to the outcomes of an ‘evil plot’ in which we exist as and of which we understand its sole purpose of which was to be enslaved and generate energy for someone that we accepted and allowed to upgrade into the level of a god. This is then the consequential outflow of having had no regard toward each other as equals, of having abdicated my responsibility to it all and creating polarities where winners and losers can exist, where elites and populace can exist, where money can dictate who gets abused and in which ways as well as the ‘power’ that perpetuates such inequality, such as ‘privileges’ and ‘benefits’ that are only existent for a few while the majority gets nothing but, we also have to transcend that me vs. them mentality here if we want to truly focus on change, so

I commit myself to focus on change within and as myself and no longer contrast it or compare it toward those that ‘have nothing’ or those that ‘have all the power’ but see myself as an equal participant within this all which means, no longer seeing through the eyes of the mind but acknowledging my part and so live my part that I am responsible for such as my words, thoughts, actions.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever believe that everything was ‘fine’ in this world wherein I lived in a rather narrow view and rather brainwashed perspective of our history, the stories of our origin and believing that we were meant to be and do good, without realizing that it’s actually the exact opposite what we’ve done all along and that it is only through being able to let go of this idea of goodness or benevolence and ‘evil’ at the same time that I can see facts/actions/words for what they are and imply without judgment, without segregation or creating an experience toward them.

I commit myself to focus on rather seeing HOW we came to create such point of abuse and considering it within all the points that I realize I have to take care of when it comes to aligning my life within and as the principle of considering all parts equally as myself and doing my part as well in this life which begins by taking responsibility for myself, my actions and ensuring I consider what is best for all in what I think, do and speak

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have that inherent tendency to want to have ‘nothing to do’ with abuse and not wanting to recognize myself as part of that abuse because I have judged it as wrong along with an experience that implies that ‘I am right.’

I realize that abuse is collectively accepted and allowed, as well as understanding that abuse has become the very way we live and act, and as such rather become aware of this necessary starting point to begin questioning everything that we have also deemed we were doing for the sake of being ‘benevolent’ or ‘doing good’ as I’ve also seen throughout this process that these are the most deceptive points where the actual ‘evil’ or the actual point of harm or abuse is hidden behind a positive façade so as to justify it and excuse it.

 

I commit myself to ‘embrace’ this ‘evil’ as myself not from the point of accepting and allowing it or giving continuation to it, but as a way to no longer react to it as it is in fact myself I would be reacting to, and instead focus on what I can direct within myself which is beginning with my own mind, my own life and so my participation in this world system being based on externalizing those points of self responsibility, accountability, no harm and no abuse upon others which is the principle of doing onto others as I would like to be done onto myself.

I realize as well that even the very food/water/animals/air that I breathe I’ve come to abuse as well, so within this I have to also be willing to face the abuse that goes on at even a microscopic level within the very mechanisms of how I digest my food or how I have to use water every single day and so not react to it but understand how we came to be enslaved in essence to our own abuse.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sometimes hold on to this point of acknowledging abuse as a way to also prevent me from seeing ‘how things could be if this abuse is stopped’ which I have defined as being rather ‘hard’ to imagine everyone being self-responsible and acting in the best interest of everyone, but I realize that this is the kind of pessimism I have also become so used to existing as. So

I commit myself to allow myself to realize that I cannot imagine something that I haven’t been able to live by and prove for myself, so I don’t need to imagine as much as I need to focus on myself, on being that example and that point of stopping abuse within myself and so stand as it and as a pillar of support for anyone else that also decides to become a 1+ living proof and example of what it means to live in a self-supportive and considerate manner within the principle of what is best for all as equals.

 

Supportive Material:

 

  1.  Reptilians – The Key to Life Through Evil (Part 1) – Part 111

  2. Reptilians – The Key to Life Through Evil (Part 2) – Part 112

5. Deer Human

 

Investigate who we are as a group of people committed to take responsibility and prevent further abuse in this world:

 

 

 

 

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398. The Act of Killing: Humanity’s Self-Reflection

We are all Anwar

No one really likes to recognize one’s own evil. We live in a mass hypnosis state where we have accepted things like poverty and war as ‘norms’ and ‘the way the world works’ without considering a possibility to change. We often blame a particular establishment, government, tyrant, economics, politics, culture and media for the continuation of the atrocities without a change in this world. What we tend to usually forget is that before any secret societies or secret cabals taking control of how the world works, there is and was only ourselves, human beings as the creators of all of the above and everything that we can possibly complain about as the ‘evils of the world.’

 

The Act of killing - surrealism

Fascinatingly enough what we have done is make of our evil something separate of ourselves that we tend to fetishize and fictionalize in, for example, Hollywood movies that glorify wars, mafias, creating the notion of super heroes that can suddenly overcome such evil but then even that idea of the good vs. evil and ‘the good side’ being triumphant is no longer something that is credible in this world. We haven’t really pondered what it takes to create this notion of ‘victory’ and how victory is actually defined by those that win, those that (w)right hi-story, their story to then present an act of killing as something that is glorifying, righteously defending ‘The Act of Killing’ as a justified means to ‘win’ a battle.

We would have to also ask ourselves if we have also come to admire villains for their ‘cunning ways’ to get things done their way. But when it comes to understanding Why we actually harm each other, and How we have come to make of such harm and abuse part of who we are in fact and the ways we justify it is, we don’t go far enough; we often only stick to ‘presenting the show’ which is what sells, what the entire Hollywood industry is founded upon – which is what we do within ourselves too: we see others as the problem, the ‘evil ones’ instead of being willing to look deep inside of ourselves and acknowledge the same problem exists within each one of us too.

Stepping aside from the massive Hollywood propaganda for films that instead of informing or supporting people to see ways in which we have to take responsibility and implement solutions in this world, there is also another type of film that makes us all question everything we have made ‘acceptable’ as a form of enter-tamement/ entertainment such as the voyeuristic ability to watch violence, abuse, harm and murder as part of ‘what happens in the movies’ and eventually, even coming to inspire real life murderers and crimes. Which one came first? One would ask. Yes, it is rather obvious by now that we haven’t evolved as species when we still rejoice in watching battles and wars with all the gore and perceive that as entertainment – gladiators at the coliseum 2.0 – which is also at the same time used as a way to create a normalcy in the act of killing, of murdering, torturing, abusing and have an entire political connotation to it which is what consecrates it at the eyes of world history.

 

The act of killing -  redemption

 

The Act of Killing is as surreal as anyone like André Breton probably could have imagined surrealism to be defined by and it is probably the first time that watching a film can feel like a movie, only to remind myself that it is in fact a Documentary: a real life presentation where there are several production processes as attempts to recreate and mystify the massive killings in Indonesia in the 60’s and how nonchalantly the perpetrators of such killings decide to represent what they did as part of what they believe is an honorable duty they were a part of – or should we say were told they were doing as an honorable thing – showing the massive propaganda machine that must exist as a constant reinforcement to convince us to do something, to actually kill and torture and commit the most hideous crimes and believe this is something in the name of national defense, honor, respect – sounds familiar? Only every single time that any form of conflict between human beings or two factions leading to war is justified.

 

What would happen if we were able to stand as observers of our own mistakes, crimes, abuse toward ourselves and others? The Act of Killing by Joshua Oppenheimer is remarkable in the sense that he has produced a documentary here the film in itself becomes the platform for the perpetrators to direct their own vision, their own accounts of the killings and re-enact – in their own ‘influences and vision’ – their hideous crimes that they choose to not define as such, because to their eyes they did ‘the right thing’ and as such ‘winners get to choose what ‘war crimes’ are, which is also part of the fabricated truths and creeds that we use to keep ourselves always on the ‘winning score,’ even if it means making of the killings of thousands – or even millions – of people an act of honor, a ‘need,’ a ‘right thing to do’ and forgetting completely about who and what they are in fact doing which is killing another living human being, an equal to themselves.

 

The act of killing - anwar

 

Witnessing the self-revelation that comes to the protagonists of this documentary specifically when taking the role of their victim opens up a possibility to realize what they have really in fact done, what they have put others through and witnessing a genuine moment of having the killers place themselves in the shoes of the ones they tortured and killed: perhaps an opportunity to forgive themselves for what they have done.

 

I watched the documentary twice and when I was in the movies I had a knot in my throat specially when realizing how disconnected we have been to everything we watch in a film, especially killings, what it means to kill, how killing is justified but what is more astounding is the actual potential for self-evaluation of such acts as something that is certainly unacceptable in contradiction to how these killers were just told to be and do.

Second time that I watched it was one week ago and I ended up tweeting: we are all in fact Anwar because I could see that we rejoice in blaming people and seeing everyone else as ‘the evil ones’ and we haven’t yet recognized we are all in fact the abusers in this world that allow not only the act of killing but any form of evil as the reverse of life to become our self-religion: what is money in this world but the way to deny life to another if so we decide to do so through ‘laws’ and politics, economic plans and further excuses like races, nations, colors to just not see and realize each other as equals? Who we are if not exterminators in this reality when thousands of species are dying every single day for our sheer presence in this world? Do we ever place ourselves in the shoes of the air, the water, the animals, every single part of this world that we constantly abuse, kill and deplete every single day in the name of ‘our progress’ or our ‘victories’?

If anything this documentary allows us to step back and not only get to see first hand the mentality that has to be fabricated to ‘create a killer’ but to also take the point back at self when attempting to blame anyone for this, or see ‘Anwar’ and the rest of the killers as ‘the bad guys.’ I realize that everything that we’ve seen as this abject consequence of our self-abuse is our responsibility and as such I have nothing but gratitude for having the opportunity to watch this film and be able to cry like a baby at the end in Anwar’s vomiting scene, because I’ve also felt disgusted, sad and angry at myself for what we have done to this world and each other and so it was revealing being able to witness another human being going through that.

Even if I haven’t killed a human being in this lifetime, I am equally  responsible for every single form of abuse that exists here, as we recognize we are all in fact one and equal – that’s our current Oneness and Equality – and there’s no way to escape this and this is one of the reasons why I am so committed to my process of self-change and self-responsibility, mostly to be able to shout out to the four winds : WE DID IT TO OURSELVES! LET’S STOP BLAMING FOR EARTH’S SAKE and instead FOCUS ON CHANGING OURSELVES to Prevent crimes and CREATE SOLUTIONS!

 

So, once we watch this cathartic process that this documentary The Act of Killing represents to every one of us as human beings, we can begin to Forgive ourselves for every single crime, abuse and atrocity we have perpetuated in the name of power, in the name of money, in the name of a god or a belief because we have all done this, then be willing to roll our sleeves up and focus on getting ourselves straight by first and foremost stopping the self-abuse within us because ‘wars’ and governments taking over and secret societies ruling millions of people is nothing else but the outflow of our own abdication of Self-Responsibility to oneself and one another. I say till here no further, we cannot go sponsoring death and destruction one more day in this world beginning the abuse at a thought and individual level we commit each day.

I stand up for Life in Equality and Self-Responsibility for the Crimes we have all committed against Life – AND please: do yourself a favor and watch this documentary, you can’t miss it.

 

 

Watch the Live Google Hangout where further details and explanations behind the documentary ‘The Act of Killing’ will be shared, along with the refreshing sense of Self-Responsibility that we have to what this documentary so vividly exposes to us.

 

 

Thanks to Joshua Oppenheimer for being such a kick ass film maker and creating this masterpiece that should be shown all over the world to become more aware of the most essential form of abuse we all commit in one way or another: the act of killing.

 

Investigate who we are as a group of people committed to take responsibility and prevent further abuse in this world:


110.The Mad judging the Crazy

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to judge people that are condemned as socially deranged and mentally disturbed as people that must be ‘put on fire’ as the ultimate punishment for committing acts of murder and/ or terrorism within a society that did not care to, in the first place, see how such a ‘killer mind’ is actually the product of a society wherein we have only conditioned ourselves to get indoctrinated to survive in a world where support is not unconditionally given – thus enslaving each other to only focus on money, having a successful living, aiming at ‘the best’ in the world while we cannot even understand how is it that there are thoughts in our head and why is it that we become emotional at any given moment, which reveals to what extent we have become survivalist robots that do not care at all to educate children to get to know themselves as their own mind first, because we had never even pondered that ‘ourselves’ as adults in this world.

 

Thus it is plain to see how anyone that commits acts of violence and abuse as the result of acting on their own thoughts is in essence, a byproduct of our own ignorance toward our own mind, while deliberately accepting statements such as ‘we can’t do anything to change the world,’ because that would imply actually having to take responsibility for all that we have done and perpetrated in absolute negligence and disregard of what we have accepted and allowed as the decisions we have made in the name of only our personal interest

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to learn from my parents how to judge people that would commit acts of violence such as murderers and terrorists wherein the faces of disgust and disturbance would mean that I had to equally become disgusted at another human being, just because they had done ‘something wrong’ yet never investigating why or how it is that such beings became ‘the villains’ in the story of our every day lie, not realizing that it is through these events that I learned how to fear those that ‘commit violent acts’ and only condemn them, without ever even pondering about their lives, if they had enough support to live as children, if they had been abused or not because that is never questioned by the media, hence not questioned by anyone that is mostly informed/indoctrinated by the media.

 

I realize that the moment that I learned to condemn the so-called ‘social-aberrations,’ I learned to separate myself from them as if they were some type of ‘thing’ that I had to simply be and become disgusted by, never questioning who am I in relation to them, what are they revealing of our nature – and this is primarily because we as children only accept from our parents whatever they say, do and even act like in every single moment. Thus we are directly shaped and molded according to morals that ensure blame is projected at all times toward others, but never pointed back to self in order to take responsibility for that which we have accepted and allowed to continue as the ‘breeding ground’ for humanity, which is clearly a world and society wherein life has never been regarded  at all, wherein words have been used to separate, value and condemn in separation of self, where money dictates who lives and who dies and accordingly, who is able to grow up in a supportive environment or not – which explains how is it that unless we equalize this world into a functional system and society based on equality, we’ll continue to see individuals committing acts of violence as a way to bring attention to the problems in this world, because they clearly see no other way to do it in a society wherein only as shocking as mass murdering people or bombing themselves can make it to the news, while the rest of the daily violence and abuse is only known and heard, but never spoken about because that would imply having to re-assess our humanity itself, without realizing that we have only complied to each other’s rules and regulations as our current governments which are the externalization of a self-interested mind that will create a sense of order on the surface, but never dare to really investigate the so-called ‘human nature’ that is clearly the massive excuse to not have to stop and re-assess our entire lives and world system.

 

Thus, I see and realize that it is actually ‘the mad’ judging ‘the crazy’ because the mad cannot even see how it is that we are living in a world wherein paper, metal and plastic cards along with a set of numbers can define who lives and who starves, a world wherein life is not even considered as equal in all beings but instead abused in the name of bullshit dreams of success and ‘wealth’ that is being massively induced as a drug that people eventually become addicted to, not being able to see to what extent one is able to go to achieve such ‘dream’ and at what cost our very own lives are diminished in the name of an apparent point of ‘power’ that has been made as such by the same belief-systems that parents are born into, later on passed on to the next generation which is how beliefs have been kept ‘alive,’ through institutionalizing lies as legit within the statement ‘but it’s always been this way/ but it’s always been like this/ things have never changed and never will, deal with it,’ which is clearly how we accept to be slaves to a system of ill gotten gains that promotes self-abuse as entertainment, that promotes irresponsibility as freedom and promotes hatred as an honorable action to conduct in the name of ‘pride.’

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to  conform to the idea of people creating such a ‘mystery’ out of beings like serial killers, mass murders, bombers/ terrorists and generally mentally disrupted people, wherein ignorance lead me to simply accept it as some kind of ‘flaw’ in a human being’s mind, believing that a ‘crazy’ person was simply a ‘mal-functioning being’ that had no remedy and had to be locked up and never bee seen again in society, wherein I learned how to fear such places because of parents even making fun of sending me there with ‘the rest of the crazy people,’ without realizing how even the apparent subtle jokes create a point of fear toward beings that have clearly not been understood or even been investigated to the core to see how the majority is actually the product of  point of lack or abuse in a world system that should be able to provide and care for all beings equally.

 

Thus I realize that any perceived ‘mentally disturbed’ being as killers, bombers/ terrorists, mass murders and mentally deranged people are nothing but the result of our own fear to face ourselves as our own mind, the fear to realize to what extent a being can be damaged for an entire lifetime because of not having enough food on their table, a decent place to live, proper education, parents that provide actual care because no one has ever really had such points in alignment with a principle that is best for all, which is the reason why this world is ‘as is,’ as we have only cared to prepare ourselves to survive in this world, following the same mechanism transmitted from generation to generation without any form of progress, as the very cause of such stagnation and actual degeneration of humanity was not regarded, was not understood – and that is our own mind which we are now walking in detail within the Desteni I Process to learn how it is that we have become the ‘gods’ in our existence, giving ourselves instructions to kill, strive for a living and be willing to die for the ‘honor’ of those that sustain an empire that thrives upon the abuse of life.

 

I realize that in order to give ourselves a sense of living again, we must walk our entire mind in absolute detail and specificity as I see that it is only through walking our own mind that we can become specific in our own self-creative processes to establish a new ay of living and being and coexisting in this world based on Life in Equality.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to never see how whenever my parents would condemn another’s acts, they were trying to ‘show’ me what not to do and what not to be, yet never explaining why there was evil in this world but only managing to explain that people were ‘evil’ because of not having money – thus creating a fear toward people that had no money because of thinking and believing that they would all eventually go violent and try and rob/ kill me because of having ‘more money’ than them – this is an example of how when taking the ‘easy road out’ to explain a child the reason why acts of violence and ‘evil’ take place in society  leads to further fear when only giving an excuse such as ‘poverty’ for evil to exist, without explaining – or even being aware – how this is not a point to fear but to understand from the root cause and as such consider what we have to do in order to establish a solution. Yet, because parents and their parents had never been informed about ‘how the world works,’ the ‘best’ way to educate each other has been through fear, as fear ensures that one would not ‘even get close to’ anyone that would resemble being a stereotypical abusive/ violent person. Yet, what parents don’t realize is that kids grow up with curiosity to get to know ‘why/ how’ people eventually end up being mentally unstable/ disturbed based on the simple principle of being attracted/ fascinated by that which is only condemned and deliberately ostracized, which is how in an attempt to ‘understand’ the criminal minds, we end up making of other human beings a ‘mystery’ to understand as a form of entertainment, without even first realizing how such beings came to be within their world and reality as they are.

 

I see and realize that it is only in a culture of sensationalism that we can become obsessed with beings like serial killers, suicide bombers and mass murderers because of the taboo we’ve made of them, because of not really wanting to explain in the open the actual factors that leads to one being become possessed by their own backchat and commit any atrocities possible in order to make a statement that is a direct consequence of a society wherein life and children are being abused in the name of perpetuating  a system wherein the ever-abusive condition of ‘success’ is all that everyone is blinded with and by, never considering the counter effects that go on within a child that is absolutely incapable of ‘attaining’ or even worse ‘aspiring’ to get to such a position, as money determines who you are and will be for the rest of your life, never even pondering that there is another way to live and exist, which is that which is currently being condemned and crucified by a majority that is not willing to let go of the survival mode-living, because ‘it’s all we’ve ever known’ while having been indoctrinated to protect such self interest at all cost, and oppose anything that would propose such well being to all begins equally, as mind control is so great that Equality as Life is not even able to be conceived by the regular human being mind.

This is the example of the extent of our individual brainwashing that has taken place for all time as humanity.

 

We have instructed ourselves to be and become the very judges and executers in a reality wherein money as power and success is revered and praised, ignoring the obvious abuse that enables such fallacy as ‘wealth’ in the world, a society wherein ‘killers, robbers and murderers’ are also characters learned from generation to generation as an apparent ‘easy way’ to ‘cope’ with a reality that is not supporting all beings equally, which should already place an alarm as to what we condemn and the reasons for such people to commit ‘crimes against life’ while only trying to make living, and what we revere and praise as wealth and fame which can only exist upon the abuse of life and beings in order to sustain such airy-fairy heaven that is clearly only running with the resources and labor force of the flesh of the Earth.

 

I commit myself to walk my own patterns of dissociation toward everything that I learned how to ‘condemn’ and at the same, what to praise, what to seek, what to regard as sacred, what to regard as ‘dangerous,’ what to regard as ‘a dream to come true,’ which are all points that I blindly followed as ‘what life is all about,’ keeping myself from side to side fearing to fall in the perceived ‘bad/negative side’ and striving to maintain myself at all times in the ‘good/ positive side of reality.’ Within this

 

I commit myself to expose how it is that we the children become the patterns of fear and limitation, of fanaticism and obsession that exist within the parents, wherein we as children only learn how to adopt such ways because ‘our parents know better,’ only to later on create a massive disappointment when realizing that our parents lied and that they were actually instilling fear within us, which is why kids go into a massive point of shock and inner struggle to cope with the lies that had been taught for years through childhood, and walking them out while living in ‘the real deal’ of a savage reality wherein there are no considerations and/or special regard for beings, as it is just a dog eat dog world wherein everyone is then pushed to follow the ‘rough ways’ of making a living, learning how to deceive, cheat, steal and/or lick someone’s boots in order to be and become ‘successful’ as the ultimate stardom dream that is impulsed by the media that we grow up educating ourselves with.

 

I commit myself to establish a complete new standard of parental education wherein every parent will not be able to even dare to speak about ‘becoming a parent’ without having gone through extensive support and training that can be proven to be reliable enough to bring another kid into this world – within this realizing and considering that we have to being such training with our contemporaries and the new kids as the future parents in this world, as it is through a life-long education base on life in equality that such ‘rigorous measures’ won’t have to exist any longer, as such measures are only a emergency plan to deal with ourselves the spawn of the last drop of preprogrammed beings that were essentially existing only to fuel a system of mind delusions and keep it in place in order to learn how we had to aim for such ‘wondrous world’ as ‘heaven’ while neglecting everything we had to do in order to attain that while on Earth, which means: abusing the earth because all we were looking at was the satisfaction, reward and success obtained from it, but never really caring about the actual abuse that would go on in our pursuit of happiness.

 

I realize that unless we actually move to give ourselves proper direction in consideration of all life in Equality, nothing will move – thus we require to prepare ourselves as individuals as a world-wide team that will be able to provide support for as many beings as possible in order to actually walk a re-educational process that is already beginning with ourselves through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application wherein we get to face our acceptances and allowances as the decisions we have made in the name of our own mind-possession as the selfish interests we have fueled with the blood of the Earth.

 

I commit myself to expose how it is that fears are passed on from generation to generation to segregate and divide humanity to always remain controlled/ limited within a set of beliefs that ensure no one dares to question the current system and only accept it ‘as is,’ which is how when educating ourselves about how we function as humanity, how our reality exists as the result of our own self-created mind control which is what will cease to exist once that we realize that we are on the verge of obliterating everything and everyone on Earth if se do not Stop ‘the old familiar ways’ of indoctrinating children into fear and only instigating a sense of survival that is absolutely unacceptable, considering that we live in a world that has more than enough for beings to coexist in harmony – however because Greed is promoted as self-motivation we haven’t stopped the cycles that perpetuate the same system of abuse.

 

This means that I commit myself to expose the fear labels we have imposed onto one another as a way to never in fact investigate how is it that the so called ‘abject’ in reality is our own abdication of self-responsibility to educate each other in a way that is best for all, simply because what is best for all has Never in fact existed in this world and as such, we are the only ones that can take on this elemental task to de-mentalize a humanity subsumed in fear and shame for what we’ve become.

 

I commit myself to provide support for anyone that is willing to support themselves from the so called mentally unstable and deranged people that have been ostracized and stigmatized within a society that only labels in order to separate themselves from realizing ourselves as the actual cause and breeding-ground to all that is here as this world, which includes all the atrocities that go on on a daily basis as the result of mind possession, just because we haven’t learned how we operate as our own mind, just because we have abused our own physical body to seek for a dream that was imposed in order to keep an enslavement system in place.

The time has come to stop the abuse and madness in this world and to point back the finger at ourselves to realize how it is that we are in fact 100% responsible for everything that goes on in this world that is ourselves.

 

Demonology is specialized support for mind possessions through a process of Self-Forgiveness and Self-Corrective application to take responsibility for the accumulation of violent thoughts in nature that have become a threat to the individual and society as a whole.

Self-responsibility is at all times the key-point for anyone willing to support themselves, to stop any form of possession that will take an actual consistent process that can only be walked with proper assistance and support available at the forum within Demonology and Desteni.

Support the Equal Money System to create a platform of support for all future parents in this world, to understand ourselves and take self-responsibility for our current creation as this world and as such, implement a new living reality on Earth wherein Life will be valued as Equal in all ways.

 

“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that this Ignorance is Perpetuated by Instructing Children that they Must Learn through their own experiences WITHOUT Realizing that these Experiences will be based on Inadequate training, and thus be Inadequate and that this Will Lead to Inadequate Realizations that Always Justify the Way the World of Ignorance functions, But  because the Characters Build by Parents were instructed to Protect their Ignorance no Matter what Real Practical Common Sense Instruction will be Ignored Unless it leads to Survival and thus Ways to Make Money as Money is Presented to Be the Road to Success for the Ignorant that Must in All Ways Be Protected, as Survival is the Ultimate Fear Parents Instructed, as the Foundation in their Children.”
Bernard Poolman*

 

 

Indispensable blogs to understand this point further:

 

Interviews for Vital Education:


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