Tag Archives: no fear

428. How to Stop the Despair about the World?

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There are times when what one is doing toward any form of change doesn’t seem to be enough at all, in fact it can even be perceived as counterproductive or judged by others as useless or harmful. I’ve faced patterns of general ‘alienation’ in relation to seeing a genuine way in which one can create an effect for others as well, but I guess that the point missed is that in focusing too much on ‘doing it out there’ the ‘in here’ is left out of the picture, and what I mean by ‘in here’ is seeing where I am not supporting myself to the point of being the normal stable support for myself and so for others.

What happens is that I started focusing too much ‘out there’ only and being taken aback by the reality of many that are genuinely suffering. We know this world is in dire straits, it is our creation and consequence therefore, we cannot really ‘do much’ about it alone – we have to stand together in a similar stance and perspective to get to fine tune the solutions for the reality we have all co-created. Sometimes witnessing all the suffering in various bits and places and through news, documentaries, personal stories etc. make you want to simply drop everything and just cry like a baby for hours end. I experienced this recently as I had done before, and seeing others going through the same only reminds me that we can never really bring any ‘change’ with more sadness, suffering or emotional outbursts: that certainly does nothing. If anything these experiences are not meant to be judged either, but rather using them as a time to introspect what kind of situations one has allowed to be ‘piled up’ and accumulated to the point where one simply explodes when something apparently ‘bigger’ triggers it all. I’ve noticed I’ve been sighing a lot, as if there was some extra effort in doing things as well, even though I keep at everything, sometimes there’s a perceived ‘loss of meaning to doing things.’

Why would I lose a ‘meaning’ on it? Well because the focus was too ‘outwardly’ shifted instead of first ensuring I can be supporting myself, having clarity on who I am, what I stand for and as such with such inner-stability be able to direct myself in such clarity in my usual doings. The thing is that, when one allows oneself to be affected too much by what’s going on outside, one then becomes part of the drama that takes you down misery lane and it’s kind of hard to get out of it as one keeps repeating the images, the information that created the experience of hopelessness, powerlessness in the first place. First point is to not become a victim of information only and creating an experience about it, but rather understand that we become part of the pile of junk if we keep ourselves in the same gloomy self experience Guiño

 

I know this is a common point for many, specifically those that can conceive themselves as being ‘over sensitive’ about things, which doesn’t mean ‘you care more’ but simply one actually allows oneself to take what’s on the outside and ‘process it’ or ‘digest it’ as something that becomes an internal emotional experience. The world doesn’t need more sufferers, more depressed people or people that have no hope even in their own lives: world needs individuals that can see, understand the problem, that can recognize the responsibility we hold to it and from there seek to join forces with others on the same track so as to create an actual network of solutions and support, THAT is what the world needs. “God hates a coward” is the title of a song, lol,  I’d say Life hates a coward and if one is not truly willing to Stand up for Life and do all that it takes, then one becomes part of the problem, part of the ‘giving up’ ones of which the death realm is filled with, I bet.

 

 

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Times like these are also cool to see where am I giving into other pleasures or plain laziness, where do I refuse to keep expanding myself, where have I become stagnant in my own self support and development? Am I doing enough for myself or do I then make of the world the reason for my own confusion, alienation and general ‘loss of meaning’ in everything which is another way to sugar coat a plain lack of insight and seeing direct as to what it is that I need to put my motivation back on.

 

I’ve been there many times before and it is also true that these hardly engrained patterns that I cultivated for many years won’t be wiped out overnight, it is a continuous process over years until they are no more at all, and more so to learn how to stand up from them every time, to keep doing what one has to do and keep going even if it ‘feels’ like feeding a dead horse… it’s about diligence and consistency and also as Nick Cave says: keep on pushing the sky away, to not wish to be dead and so ‘out of the mess of this world’ and going into extreme anger or apathy or general despair because all of these are only experiences, they too shall pass = they can be worked on an overcome them as we created them.

I would mostly suggest to flag point for myself whenever these experiences come up and instead of going down the memory lane of suffering and why the world is miserable, see directly: what am I resisting to do? Where am I procrastinating my change of ‘experience’ toward something in particular? If I am fed up with the state of the world, then I don’t have to make it my own ‘fedupness’ toward my own life and anything that I do in it. Again, takes some courage to see directly, and the faster the better otherwise one single ‘fall’ if not looked at for some time, can make one feel like one is dragging one’s dead body around, even while trying to act/be normal: we always know when there’s something ‘going on’ within us, and if it’s not health-related then we must know that there is something ‘up there’ that I still want to hold on to and justify one’s experience with.

In past week I came to the conclusion that there can be no real happiness in this world unless we eradicate all fear, all suffering, all hatred, all anger, all abuse in this world – no matter if you have the ‘perfect life’ with the necessary money and giving yourself some treats here and there, it is meaningless, it is shallow, it is pointless because as long as I know there is people that haven’t been ‘fortunate’ enough to have what I have, my ‘happiness’ is a self-interested experience. So, realizing this doesn’t make your life more cheerful or gleeful either, but it grounds you to see what one is focusing on/paying attention to and what one plans to do with one’s life altogether.

From my perspective, as I’ve said it many times, I will do and be with that which is the most supportive for life on Earth, no matter how ‘futile’ it might seem, how questionable sharing something in the vast sea of the internet and endless roads of information can be: I choose to contribute to the growth and support of everyone else that is willing to do the same for themselves than being part of the endless queues that want to desert out of life, which they too would have to be understood as a consequential outflow of all of us not having done enough to give everyone a decent reason to live. I decide to do this for myself and so for any other person that can benefit from it.

 

So, a clear decision is always a lifetime decision – there can be fogs at times and that is ok, it is a momentary reassessment that can take a few days, but eventually it is really so that No One can ‘pull you out of it’ unless You Decide to Walk Out of it Yourself. It is a Doing, not a Thinking.

Let’s keep walking.

 

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105. Having a Good Time is defined by MONEY

 

Self-Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to condition my expression with another from the starting point of whether the sound of their voice, their body movements and general ‘beingness’ in the moment is oozing positivity, happiness and a general sense of enjoyment wherein I then mirror the person’s attitude in an instant manner, wherein I allowed myself to be subdued by the entire positivity experienced within another, becoming an instant character that accepts ‘the positive’ as something that should not even be questioned because: it’s good! It’s positive! Let’s have fun! And as such, not realize how I would go into the absolute opposite with the same being whenever the situation and event would be experienced with the negatively charged attitude, bodily movements and voice tonality wherein then I would mirror their self-experience in a way wherein I could only suppress myself and limit my self expression out of fear of someone’s negative experience.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to create a positive experience out of a moment with my father wherein I can deduce and assess that ‘he’s had a cool day at work!’ because he is happy, which is the same as having money wherein then I choose to be happy as well as that means he won’t be in a bad mood/ angry toward everyone for not having a cool day at work. Within this, I see, realize and understand how I’ve come to mimic/ mirror another’s experience as my own and from that, create a starting point within myself of either positivity or negativity according to the person I’ll be interacting with presents themselves as, with either a positive or negative mood, within this defining an entire moment according to another’s experience, which was a common thing within me to limit myself by, wherein I would be cautious and careful to communicate within the consideration of another’s feelings and emotions in the moment, which means that I would always support their characterization by me becoming a supportive role in the play, and never taking a definitive stance to remain constant and consistent in my communication, but would instead become a mirror to others’ experiences as that would ensure that they remain in their characters and I remain as the ‘good person’ that will support their characters – whether they are positive or negative.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel excited and joyful about the idea of going out for dinner with my parents as that’s an indication that he’s got enough money to take us out and have a moment of what I defined as ‘fun,’ wherein I would then support the entire ‘good spirited’ situation/ moment by being equal to my father’s childish expression, which became a conditional aspect on whether he had enough money or not.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to never see how money would define my beingness as a mood situation as well, as when we were in severe financial trouble, I became more secluded, worried and anxious as a child and how things would change the moment that I knew we had enough money to have fun, go out, travel, which then became the polarized condition in my reality to either feel ‘good’ or ‘bad’ about life, never seeing how all and everything that I would do would be conditioned by the amount of money I had -through my father – or didn’t have, which is how my father’s mood and general stance would directly influence me and my stance due to the dependence that exists on a financial level toward him.

 

I realize that within a system wherein we are not supported equally from birth to death, children are conditioned to be dependent on their parents success/ failure to ‘make it’ within the world system of money, which is unacceptable as lives can be forever tainted if an unstable financial situation goes on at home, or there is no support at all at home which is why and how we currently live in a world wherein we have major problems on a ‘psychological level,’ simply because unconditional support is not given to all, hence survivalism leads to living an uncertain life wherein ‘who we are’ is dependent on having ‘good’ and ‘bad days’ that are defined according to the amount of money we have/ don’t have to live.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see how the entire starting point of ‘who I am’ in a moment can be absolutely determined by money as a positive experience or lack of money as negative experience wherein I can feel ‘content’ within myself because of, for example, my father having enough money to take us out for dinner, which I had defined as a treat and a luxury in terms of us not having had such moments in a long time in that moment in the past wherein a difficult financial situation was being faced at home.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to start taking things for granted again when financial stability became a constant at home, forgetting how I had absolutely limited myself to a great extent when we had been through financial trouble, wherein I became more secluded, sad, dismal in my perspective toward the world as opposed to when I started seeing money again, which was the time when I then went on creating my own ‘problems’ in my mind as emotional and feeling situations, because money was no longer being a decisive factor for me to be either sad or happy any longer.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever feel ‘good’ and in ‘positive spirits’ whenever I was able to benefit from my father’s earned money at work, wherein I simply accepted ‘the positive’ as something that is certainly acceptable and normal to just give in as a ‘good moment,’ defining the entirety of ‘who I am’ according to the entire context of the moment: father being in a ‘good mod’= father having enough money to take us out for dinner = us having a good time all dependent on money itself.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ‘good’ because of not having to feel guilty (wtf?) about me going to a restaurant and making my father spend money on me just because I know beforehand that he’s got money to pay for it – thus defining a good moment based on actually not having to be fearing or worrying about money in the moment, which indicates that such positive moments were never in fact real but only a counter-act to all the time that we would be in essence worrying about money and not having enough money to get our positive experiences such as going out for dinner on a Friday night.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define the entire stance of me being ‘in good spirits’ and generally complying to the entire bubble context of ‘happy family because there’s money to go out’ without questioning it further, and just complying to define that as ‘fun,’ shoving away and deliberately hiding the thoughts that would come up in such moments such as ‘why can’t all people just be happy as we are in the moment, having enough money to go out?’ which were thoughts that would come up when and during the traffic lights on the way to the restaurant we would encounter people that were working at that time selling things, doing street juggling in order to make a living, wherein I would immediately shut off my thoughts about that and would go back into the ‘feel good’ experience that I was carrying myself with along with my family.

 

 

Self Corrective Statements:

When and as I see myself conditioning my entire expression based on the context of a ‘good spirited moment’ based on for example, having enough money to have a moment of enjoyment with others and becoming absolutely enthralled with it and full with ‘joy,’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that such experience is then not me being here breath, but me giving into the experiences that I am perceiving within others and assessing through the realization that we can be ‘happy’ because we have enough money to enjoy ourselves, as enjoyment within this current world system is equated to having enough money to buy something/ consume and as such equate it with a positive experience.

 

When and as I see myself adapting my communication, my ‘beingness’ in a moment into a positive spirit/ enjoyment and overzealousness in relation to spending a moment with others, I stop and I breathe – I realize that such positive experience was only created and emerged from the starting point of a good mood created by having enough money, which means that such enjoyment would not be possible without any money. Thus I stop defining ‘who I am’ in relation to being in a good mood or a bad mood in relation to the amount of money that I have, wherein money is able to buy a ‘positive experience’ or create a negative one if there’s not enough money to survive.

 

When and as I see myself in ‘good spirits’ when having a moment of enjoyment that is being bought with money, I stop and I breathe – I realize that these situations have been taken for granted just because we have money to do so, without seeing how not everyone in the world can have access to such ‘enjoyment’ as money is not readily given as s form of unconditional support to live, which would then make an experience of enjoyment almost impossible as there would be, for example, no more people that would have to work in a restaurant serving others in order to make money as they will be equally supported by themselves.

 

Life will change in a way wherein the things that we have currently taken for granted will no longer exist, as they are based upon the abuse of others in order to create enough hierarchical power to ensure that there are always those ‘below’ that can be abused in order to give a certain service/ work in exchange of money, which is a condition of enslavement that we have made ‘ok’ in our reality and justifying it with the words ‘they have to make a living somehow,’ but not being willing to see how our very own positive experience is stemming from others’ enslavement to ‘make a living’ as in making money in any way available within the current world system.

 

When and as I see myself creating a positive experience out of the memory of having felt ‘bad’/ negative experience in the same situation, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am only going from one polarity to the other defining a moment based on memories and the ‘power’ that money currently has in order to buy good moments/ experiences and the opposite which is how we experience ourselves as depressed whenever there’s not enough money to buy/ consume positive experiences, which is how and why we require to equalize the ability for all to have a proper constant and continuous support, so that we can stop going from one pole to the other seeking for positive experiences because they will be readily available, wherein the have/ have not experience will no longer define who we are in our communication, in our beingness and relationship with others in our reality, as money will no longer be a factor to create either positive or negative experiences, but will become a constant source of support for all in equality.

 

When and as I see myself going into a positive experience when getting money, I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is a perceptual experience wherein the ‘positive attitude character’ is triggered, creating the illusion of having a ‘good moment’ that is only equated to ‘having enough money to live,’ which is how we have defined our beingness as being constantly seeking for the positive, the money and the ‘good times ‘ that are able to be bought with money, while trying to escape, prevent and avoid at all cost ending up in the other side of the coin as in having no money and as such, getting a negative experience out of it.

 

I commit myself to establish a monetary system wherein children and parents will be equally supported from birth to death, which implies that there will no longer be family conflicts in terms of a financial situation of lack being a definitive factor within the beings’ lives and everyday experience, wherein the lack of money creates a general hostile environment of ‘bad mood’/ anger/ frustration/ irritation that is then plundered onto the children, affecting children’s lives in a way that parents cannot yet fathom as they believe that children do not ‘care’ about such monetary conflicts, yet it does as everything that we do and how we function currently in this world is defined by and according to money – therefore with giving unconditional support to all beings, we ensure that children and parents are no longer having to suffer a lack of money defining their entire beingness and life experience, but instead make of life support a constant experience that is readily available for all, as that way we ensure that who we are is the expression itself of life that is here, always unconditionally existing here and that it is us human beings that now must establish a living-system on Earth wherein such unconditional support is extended in an organized manner, such as the Equal Money System to finally be able to focus our lives into an actual development of who we are as living beings on Earth – instead of defining our entire lives based on ‘education’ only to ‘make it’ within a system where everything we’ve done is and has been defined by money itself. This is how we can ensure that our every day living on Earth becomes an opportunity for self-expansion and genuine enjoyment, as there will be no need to create a separate moment of enjoyment according to having money to do so.

 

I realize that the moment I start taking my life for granted, I miss out on what is real and must then bring myself back here where I can definitely ensure that I am in fact considering how every single day that I am able to continue living is linked to my ability to have money, which is something that Not everyone on Earth has  – thus I commit myself to take responsibility for this fuckup as the world system that has deliberately marginalized those that have no money at all to live and how their lives cannot be ‘taken for granted’ as they haven’t been granted with the basic living rights to LIVE on Earth.

 

Hence any and all ‘good spirits’ moment is a cover up and make up illusion to the reality that is here, wherein any ‘good moment’ is actually a masquerade to cover the truth that is here, that is in no way something I can feel content about – thus any good moment experience is actually self-interest only and a point of separation from what is REAL.

 

Stand up and support the Equal Money System

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