Tag Archives: parental authority

190. Author of my Consequences

Procrastination: Consequences – Do not ask for something / be exigent about something that I have not lived and given to myself unconditionally.

I realize that I have been playing out this point in relation to procrastination and a general desire for things to be just ‘perfect’ and running smoothly all the time so that ‘I’ can feel good about it/ have no worries and generally best for all, which would be common sensical if I was in fact living that out absolutely as myself. The question is: am I? And in absolute Self Honesty I can say: nope.

 

Now, this reminds me of parents, how they want their kids to be this beautiful (hellish) creations, asking them and being exigent about things that they haven’t lived themselves/ they haven’t probably ever lived BUT want their children to play out to become like a trophy that they can feel proud of – but, have they been a living example of everything they’re asking to their children? No. And I see I am doing the same with others, asking them to essentially have everything done ‘as I see it must be done’ however, am I actually in fact able to stand as an absolute authority of myself in this moment – not completely, this single point of procrastination that I’ve walked – that I’ve accepted and allowed – has affected in my ability to stand absolute to my words, since one single point that is not in alignment to the totality of what I’m walking certainly creates ‘ripple effects’ on everything else – and this is part of the consequences, wherein I see and realize that one single point that I deliberately allow to grow and not direct creates this suppressed anxiety, hiding it with further points to ‘take care of’ within me, but not necessarily having directed me to take this point on, which is ludicrous since it is one of the basic aspects to walk in this process: work with what is occupying your mind in order to give it direction. And this, well it did occupy my mind but would immediately cover up and sugar coat with something else.

 

The reason for doing that is simple: my image/ reputation could not be obfuscated with me having to expose a major point of procrastination – however, was that actually in order to ‘save my ego’ and image/ reputation toward others or was it in the end just a very unnecessary timeloop that I –alone– would have to face eventually and give it direction? Well, the second point is what really IS in fact and how every time that we place ‘others’ or the ‘who we are’ at the eyes of others in front of our application is dishonest, and that walking this process such dishonesties must get to the surface to face them for what they are, get some oxygen in order to ventilate it – lol – and then see that all the accumulated energy that created the patterns of suppressed anxiety and guilt and remorse are simply further add-ons to the procrastination character that become like this consuming monster that we feed everyday that we only Think about things we have to do but don’t do them.

 

A physical consequence is yes, pain in the back as a burden as well as having to deal with physical real-time events wherein I have to now arrange my schedule to get to all points necessary.

 

In the end I can only take my own words and say it to myself: In the end, you do it to yourself – and within this it is to see that the law of stupidity/ stupidity loops can only be stopped by me practically stopping them, correcting the pattern and that’s it.

 

So, here I walk the Self Forgiveness on Abdicating my Authority the moment I participate in the Procrastination Character.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my responsibility that I have toward myself, my words and deeds as the congruency that I have intended to live and that I accepted and allowed to be half-assed/ done in a middle term because of my desire to only do that which I prefer doing/ that which I have valued as ‘more important in my life,’ without realizing that in this I am placing a value-system to the points I have committed myself to do and apply, which is not acceptable since I see that this is not a matter of preference or what is ‘more important’ to do when comparing one task to another – it is simply realizing what must be done and within that, give myself the necessary authority to say no to following my desire to only do that which I like and instead, assist and support me to develop a physical habit of doing things without an energetic input to them.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to exert authority over others without realizing that it is as such an abusive point when I am doing it from the vantage point of not having lived authority as myself fully and completely – within this it is to realize that I can only be an authority as self when all that I do, think and act upon is standing 100% aligned to that which is best for all, wherein I understand that the moment there is self-interest in the way, we can realize there is an aspect that is not in consonance with an equality-living statement where self-responsible and self-directive individuals work together to establish a world that functions upon principles and not rewards or experiences as the negative or positive upon what is required to be done.

I realize that the point of responsibility extends not only toward myself, but to myself as this entire reality that I am an equal part of, wherein the moment I accept and allow myself to not be my own authority but allow myself to be deviated through the mind’s ‘authority’ I become that ‘plus point’ that continues accepting, allowing and living out the same mistakes of the past, which includes procrastination and apathy toward ourselves and this world as a whole.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my own lack of authority toward others and within this, become exigent toward others about something that I have not lived myself fully and completely.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my own ability to be directive at all times due to allowing this procrastination point to diminish everything to a doubtful self-experience, wherein while not being a full-self responsible author of ourselves in our reality, we become ‘less than’ our minds due to having followed our thoughts instead of living self-direction and within this even exacerbate it through time until it gets to a  point where it is no longer sustainable – yet the consequences as time lost/ time spent without giving direction to something is real and here to be faced as a reminder of what are the practical consequences of us abdicating our physical living authority over the mind’s desires, wants and needs that lead me nowhere, but further procrastination.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a point of self doubt – not trusting myself fully – do to losing my own authority over one single aspect that I made it ‘more’ than what it is, consuming me to the point of seeing it as very difficult to walk through, without realizing that in all of this process I only imagined/ thought/ assumed without actually working on it, which reveals to what extent we become a character and utilize actual physical energy and time in order to perpetuate a single limitation in our minds, which reveals to what extent we have become so used to self-abuse.

 

When and as I see myself missing out on my point of authority as who I am in every moment of breath that I am here and directing myself to do what is required to be done, I stop and I breathe – I realize that self trust and my ability to stand in my two feet immovable, resides within the ability to re-gain this self-directive principle within myself, to no longer accept and allow any form of mind manipulation for me to not give direction to something that is Here to be directed.

 

I commit myself to re-establish my authority as an absolute standing of what I say I will do, regardless of any ‘label’ as preference imposed onto such task/ project/ activity, as I realize that I will only commit myself to that which is in the benefit of all, and in the benefit of me walking through the responsibilities I’ve acquired within the system.

 

I commit myself to re-establish my self-trust and self-will according to my ability to stand up from this, actually work on the points that I haven’t worked on and within that, become my own point of authority that stands as an example of what it is to live the words we commit ourselves to live, within the realization that if I don’t fully live this as myself, it is not only to my own detriment, but as an equal acceptance of what I am willing to perpetuate within this world, which is definitely Not procrastination and abdication of self responsibility any further.

Within this, I see and realize how the seemingly ‘personal’ things that we don’t take responsibility for, are in fact the building blocks of a flawed system as it is the consequence of our flawed participation in it, thus we have to become the example of what an equal-participation in all aspects actually entail. And this is a point to be walked here.

There are some more points to come in relation to self commitments and self corrective statements since I see that there are several points intertwined here – which I will walk in another character to be decided upon SOON – lol

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106. Abundance = Elitist Positive Experience

 

Creating a positive experience upon opening a cabinet with lots of food stored as a synonym of care and love by parents. This became a ‘trait’ in itself wherein my logic worked as follows: ‘because my father cares for us, he buys us lots of food and ensures we never run out of certain products, which is how he demonstrates that he is always thinking about what is best for us’ – Yet I never took into consideration if there were any other motives to do that, if there were other reasons such as scarcity or even lacking  enough money in the future wherein the excess of items in stock were more of a food bank for emergency situations. The reasons may vary, however one thing is certain: such positive experience can only be achieved if we have enough money to buy food and to buy More than is immediately required to consume.

This is how I debunk parental care to an opportunity that only a few can provide their children with, as well as seeing how in an Equal Money System world, there will be no need to create a positive experience and binding force between family members out of being able to provide with the necessary means to live, as this will be a given right for all.

 

Self Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consider that having enough food in stock at home bought by my father is a synonym of care, wherein I have associated the fact that he always ensures to have enough food in stock as an efficient-point, a preventive type of personality trait that I associated as something positive, without realizing that having food in stock is actually stemming from the fear of not having enough food/ not having enough supplies in any given moment, which is how I learned how to be preventive out of fear only.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define my father’s efficiency according to ‘being able to always provide us food and never experiencing a lack of something,’ which is only a trait available and dependent on money itself – not the person.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience a form of admiration and pride when being able to open up our food cabinet and always finding several milks in stock, which I then took as an example for me to follow, wherein having ‘more than enough’ is seen as a synonym of being ‘preventive’ and ‘efficient’ which is something that my father would take pride on, and that I accepted as a genuine point to consider implementing as myself, until I realize that the starting point of it was fear of ending up with no food/ supplies – and also it is to realize how such ‘food in stock’ can only be a reality if there is enough money to buy more than what is currently required – wherein every time that I would find out there is no more than 1 item in stock, I would associated it with being in any form of crisis or financial trouble, just because of how I got so used to seeing more than enough in our food cabinets as a positive experience, wherein the negative as ‘not seeing more than 1’ was immediately a ‘red flag’ as an indication that there was something wrong going on in our economy.

 

I realize that this is plainly an elitist type of association since a couple of billion people in this world cannot possibly even fathom what it would be like to acquire more food than the one required in the moment, nor would it be even possible to have money to do so on a regular basis – hence I see how I had lived in a small secured bubble wherein I took food for granted and as a synonym of care such as ‘my father cares for us because he brings food to the table,’ but never questioning why my father was able to do that, but many other beings in this world were simply not able to do that, as there are billions deliberately left out of the ‘world system loop’ wherein money is not something that they have any access to – hence food, shelter, clothing and basic services come to them only as a rarity just because of everything else being secured within a minority in this world which includes ourselves – and within that, it is to see how we even dare to create a positive experience out of having enough good in your storage/ food cabinet, without even stopping for a moment to see if every single being on Earth is equally capable and able to have access to feed their children properly, if they have access to money itself in order to buy food and anything else required to live.

 

Thus I see that all the values I have created within my life and throughout the interactions with our basic sustenance within this world system, have been based upon me taking for granted the ability to have money, the ability to buy food and even the ability to choose what to eat, which is a rather elitist move that is not readily given to all beings equally.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate having enough food in stock as ‘feeling secure and cared for’ wherein I would start mimicking this attitudes of having plenty in stock in order to feel secure and that I was caring for myself, not realizing this is essentially done in fear of ending up with no food in the moment, wherein buying milk became a compulsory act until I realized what I was doing and how in a very clear though in ‘the back of my head,’ there was fear of something suddenly emerging in our reality and me feeling secure because at least I would have something to eat.

 

I realize that there are billions that have no possibility to even have a regular access to food, nor can they even dream about being able to store food somewhere and many do not even have a place to live. Thus I see and realize how I have kept myself in this small bubble wherein I would only seek to satisfy my needs, and forget about the world, which is how we stand for the Equal Money System to ensure that all beings can be equally cared for, without having to fear running out of something, not having enough money to feed ourselves the next day and also stop all the relationships of specialness and authority that we have built toward other beings in order to secure our own survival, which is what has created this entire system of self interest covered up and justified with familial bonds in the name of ‘love’ and ‘care,’ when it is in fact just associations that work like investments wherein you are either a winner or a loser according to the amount of money you are able to have in this world-system game.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a positive experience of just seeing that no matter if I empty this cereal box, there is another one ready to be opened by me as ‘my father bought it to me because he cares for me’ which is how I developed this positive attitude toward my father based on his ability to provide food for us and pay for our education, which is an example of how money defines our relationships toward people, often polarizing such relationships if the other parent is not as supportive financially which was then considered in my mind as ‘not caring enough for me,’ simply because of not being contributing in a physical manner as money toward the household.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to even at times get annoyed by me having to thank my father for everything he had bought us to eat and our personal care, wherein I would start backchatting the point of him sharing with us what he had bought us and how I judged him for boasting on what he had bought in order for us to feel ‘in debt’ with him, which was only my own backchat about it, never really considering what was enabling that entire scenario in the first place besides asking whether I was experiencing myself in a positive or negative manner.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate provision of food/ basic needs as ‘parental love and care,’ wherein I accepted the fact that I did not communicate that much with my father, but would always be physically supported by him with what I required to live- hence developing a positive attitude toward my father, which then turned into a polarity point in relation to how I would experience myself with my mother that would provide that point of communication but no financial support – hence me silently judging her as ‘less than’ because she would not contribute with money to our household.

 

Within this, I see, realize and understand how I went on creating my own value-systems according to what I deemed of value – such as products/ food/ personal care items/ education that I would get from my father, and how a point of interaction would be valued as also some type of asset that was ‘less worthy’ because there was no buying or consuming involved – which is how and why I had been brainwashed to only consider that which can be bought as something of value, just because of having to pay for such point of identification as self and it already indicating something more ‘challenging’ that I could call ‘love’ as I learned that in order to live = you must strive to make a living, and if someone cares enough for you = they will walk such a life-strive and bring food, which is what became a measuring point within me toward myself and as a future projection of how I wanted to lead my life: always having more than one and enough in stock in order to be secure and ‘feel cared for’/ provide care for others as well, without realizing it was mostly stemming out of fear.

 

 

Self Corrective Statements:

When and as I see myself feeling compelled to say ‘thank you’ to a repetition of items that have been bought in order to fulfill the character of ‘the provider’ within my father and myself; I stop and breathe – I realize that when I am compromising myself in any way, I must stop for a moment to assess what it is that I am in fact complying to as a positive experience that I am ‘grateful for,’ and how these seemingly positive reputation that we have and hold toward one based on complying each one’s positive character is the actual veil that does not allow ourselves to question such moments in the context of reality, but just comply to say ‘oh thank you!’ and feel cared for, loved and considered because of someone buying you food to eat, which is a relationship of convenience that can only exist as a form of control over others in order to become an authority over one’s life.

 

When and as I see myself associating having enough food in stock as something positive that I should be happy and feel that I am being cared for, I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is only possible within the context of living in a family wherein there is enough money to buy food, to buy more than the necessary in order to keep it in stock as a preventive measure, without realizing that prevention in this case is only available because of money – thus realizing how we have separated ourselves from what is here to such an extent that our relationships our built according to how we are able to give to ourselves the necessary to live from the moment we emerge into this reality, which proves that we cannot possibly walk this system without understanding how our very ‘loved ones’ are in fact systematic positions that have ensured we as children learn ‘who the authority is’ based on the ability to provide the necessary food / resources to live and how whenever we do not get these basic points, we retaliate against parents or custodians and use such resentment as a way to victimize ourselves for not having proper support – when in fact such support should not be bound to a family-structure only, but as an individual process of self-support in self-honesty that we can externalize as an overall system of unconditional support such as the Equal Money system wherein no one will be bound to another to get access to the necessary resources to live, but will simply observe that everyone is getting enough to eat and live as a living right on Earth.

 

When and as I see myself creating a positive experience out of buying something, consuming or keeping in stock, I stop and I breathe – I first ensure that I am not buying such product out of fear but only as self-support and in moderate quantities wherein I can see that fear is not being the directive principle of my consumption habits, but is only common sensical according to the ability we have of going to as shop and buying more if required, without realizing how such ‘simple action’ is not an opportunity for billions on Earth.

 

When and as I see myself feeling compelled to say ‘thank you’ to my father or anyone else buying stuff for me, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am only wanting to create a point of thankfulness as an awareness of what I am being provided with, without realizing that such provision is only available for those with money and how then all the perceived ‘care’ and ‘love’ and ‘concern’ is in fact covering up all possible fears of not having enough food to feed the children, which is a rather practical point to consider, ensuring no fear, no backchat is existent within the acquisition of such products being only a habit and a paternal-pattern that I had created as a point to emulate for myself in my life, as I see and realize how I had created such a positive attitude out of getting all these products for us to consume and eat, which was to me like a synonym of love and care.

 

When and as I see myself seeing food in stock as a positive thing in my reality, I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is only able to exist if we have enough money to do so, thus I support myself to make of such experience of being cared for not something bound to parents and money, but a living certainty, a living right that is able to be provided for all beings equally which is how and why in the equal money system, though parents receiving unconditional financial support, there will be more time to educate themselves to become parents and as such ensure that no emotional/ feeling bounds are created from the role that has been taken of the parents as ‘providers of life,’ but instead walk as equals with children only ensuring that proper nutrition, proper care and physical considerations are implemented in the living space, once that money is no longer a limitation for the being to have a dignified living, and how it is important to allow parents to see how a child is not a load to the parent, but only an extension of self that can be equally walked-with as the realization that we can support each other to Live instead of living to build each other’s ego and system-status as parents/ children in hierarchical levels.

 

I see and realize how money has determined my positive experience toward my parents – and my father specifically – in relation to being able to provide the necessary means and education for me to have a dignified living –whereas if I had not been supported with these things, I would have had a negative experience, which proves how money determines even our familial interactions and relationships as no being is currently an alien to how the world system works in terms of having money or not to live

 

I commit myself to establish the Equal Money System as a means to ensure that no being is bound to another through a monetary-binding force creating a dependence toward one another in a hierarchical mode – but instead, all beings being equally supported learn what it is that we can actually get to recognize and appreciate of one another out of the monetary loop, but instead consider how we can support each other to develop better ways to live and interact in a world wherein survival is no longer a “living-mode” but life and living is the point then explored, shaped and sculpted as we go learning how to be parents, children and inhabitants in the world where equality is the living principle, which in itself points out major shifts in how families currently exist and are bound as. Parents will become living examples of what we are here to be and do instead of becoming the bosses of children dictating their every word and every say through the imposition of authority as a relationship of need through and by money as it currently exists.

 

Support the Equal Money System as this is the only way that we will ensure each other are no longer subject to have a positive or negative life experience with regards to money, but money is instead a given-living-right, leaving enough time to focus on our living skills, communication abilities and the development of human expression as a means to ensure that no being is left behind in their ability to live and express in/ as their utmost potential, as this is what we see and realize is what’s best for all in Equality.

And Educate yourself at Desteni to understand how in an equal world, no parental figure will be able to continue passing on manipulation tactics and hierarchical roles onto children, as the only thing that will exist is equal consideration of one another in a world wherein the basic needs will be readily given, and what will be developed is the ability to interact, express and live as equals.

 

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The Soul of Money – Money Consciousness – Part 29

 

This blog is a continuation from 

105. Having a Good Time is defined by MONEY


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