Tag Archives: perspective

2012 Media and Entertamement: the Mirror of our own Decay

I realize that I have been brainwashed in many ways, but I have certainly realized more points that I had not considered based on the latest Desteni material, like the Life Reviews – which are interviews where people that have died, come through the portal and share their realizations so that we – people still being alive on Earth -are able to realize what we are taking for a ‘living experience’ in this world. As they walk their own stories, they share perspectives on how to assist and support ourselves to stop and correct our patterns and habits that keep us in a certain ‘predefined’ life, which is currently existing as limitation and ultimately leading us to die without having granted us the ability to Forgive ourselves and change. It’s like walking a real-life story wherein for a moment you get to know a being’s inner experience throughout their life – just like you would ‘get to know’ a character in a book – yet always having a supportive perspective and input that will most likely not leave you ‘confused’ about it, but will leave a nice ‘taste in your mouth’ in order to realize that we don’t have to get to the extremes of limitation that they experienced while being alive.

 

So, within this context, I realized how even with famous people in this world – that we obviously get to know through media –  I took a certain stance toward particular people, where the media assembled ‘evidence’ to make a ‘case’ out of their story and cause  sensationalism around the lives of particular beings that I now realize, I actually judged within my mind without even noticing it, without allowing me to consider the common sense that I also experienced at times which was seeing and realizing that people were only judgmental about a grown man being able to enjoy children without being a pedophile or something like that. It is absolutely disgraceful how even our ‘media’ is able to put up a knife against the wall and cause such division in the name of ‘putting up a show’ and causing enough attention to sell their adverts/ commercial space in quite juicy rates.  And I participated in it, I watched the documentaries, the cases, I would experience ‘third party embarrassment’ whenever such cases would arise within the lives of the rich and famous. I became ‘part of it’ – I didn’t fully allow myself to listen to that common sense that I could see in a moment, but allowed myself to obfuscate it with the nicely and strategically placed “evidence” directed to make a case out of it. 

That’s how I discovered that even when we think we are ‘not participating’ in some of the usual trivial realities that we see on the media, even by accepting it ‘as it is’ I am already taking a stance toward it, instead of having realized how is it that we have allowed our day to day living be constantly influenced by this ‘public opinion’ which is certainly controlled and manipulated in order to divert people’s attention from what is actually relevant in this world – and using/ abusing people’s lives to broadcast them as part of the ‘freak show’ that we have allowed media to become. Because it is common sense: if we all had enough resolve to stop consuming it, it would invariably have to adapt to a new perspective on what actual supportive Media should be, which would simply not be profit-driven and based on promoting common sense, education and an actual sharing of relevant information that can benefit the equal-understanding of ourselves as individuals and as part of reality within this ecosystem as a whole.  At Desteni we are already producing the new culture of Life, promoting common sense and reviewing history to place it as an example of all the points that must be corrected in order to Stop the patterns of the past, which were mostly based on ‘survival of the fittest’ through encouraging the desire to obtain power, recognition and a halo of success in order to ‘feel whole’ within one’s life experience.

 

We have realized that’s NOT what living is or should be – yet at the moment, we walk the process in order to direct ourselves breath by breath as we go observing in our own reality how even the seemingly ‘unimportant’ points do have an effect on what we collectively accept and allow within this world, such as our current media and their current ‘power’ to form people’s opinion, with no common sense most of the times.

 

 

2. We tend to judge people in our minds in such an immediate way based on ‘what’s logical’ and ‘what makes sense,’ based on supposed evidence that can be easily manipulated in order to suit particular interests which – as we can see in our reality – have not been in the best interest of all, but creating enough ‘noise’ for the same sake of making money, creating a case where there is non. And what’s fascinating is how obviously, if this goes into trials and further federal interventions, it makes it ‘even more believable’ eventually losing perspective that such ‘cases’ were generated not ‘on TV’ but in our own mind as the starting point for the entire system that is HERE as our self-reflection. McLuhan was right with the externalization of the mind as our reality, spot on when realizing that this entire reality works and functions according to all the points of separation that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to exist as. I would see myself often judging and even reacting in an emotional experience when watching all the ‘junk’ that people watch on TV. However I missed the point: I was only judging what I also have accepted and allowed myself to become – big cold bucket of water when realizing this, as I had to then walk through a self-forgiving process when seeing how getting pissed off at people watching TV was only stemming from myself and my own experience of having mimicked what I saw and wanted myself to ‘be like,’ which could not have been possible without TV, magazines, books, music, etc.   So, within listening to this being in his life review, I realized how I had participated as well in such judgment and had given-into the ‘nicely presented’ evidence to build such case.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to judge the media and information of this world as ‘not having anything to do with me’ without realizing that in such statement, I was only considering me-myself-and-I as my own personal experience wherein I lived a life of only caring about myself, to feel ‘good’ and seek to be as far as possible from anything that seemed ‘vulgar’ for me to watch, discuss or communicate about with others.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge media and entertainment as ‘vulgar’ and sleazy within the context of seeing it as only being able to be ‘watched’ and ‘absorbed’ by people that ‘didn’t have anything better to do,’ without ever realizing that it was myself judging me for what I have also accepted and allowed myself to become within wanting to not be part of the ‘brainwashed society’ – without realizing that I was already brainwashing myself by believing myself to be ‘above it’ and within that, exist in a superiority mode that can only exist within my mind whenever I believe myself to be separated from everything and everyone in this reality – which I am not.

Therefore I realize that whenever I see myself judging the media and pointing fingers at people watching a particular type of entertainment shows, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I can only judge that which I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as in the first place, which begins with looking at my own mind wherein I created categories according to who and what I would like to experience in my reality – always having disregarded the totality of this world as myself.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that ‘I knew better’ than people, and that allowing themselves to be ‘brainwashed by media’ I was in fact taking the ‘right path’ to be non-brainwashed, without realizing that the media is already the product of our very own nature as the mind that seeks to get attention, to seek experiences to generate feelings and emotions and a continuous idea and belief of ‘being living’ through the mind only – which is how I see and realize the media is the portrayal of our mind with colors, pictures designed by ourselves to experience through images, pictures, colors, characters and stories that keep us diverted from being actually HERE and Living our own lives in physical reality.

Therefore I realize that as longa s I am existing as the mind that seeks energetic experiences as quick energetic fixes through feelings, participating in emotions or directing myself from the starting point of ‘wanting to experience’ I am existing as the creator of what the media is now existing as. For this world to change, I must stop and change myself – there is no way that we can stop this ongoing industry that we have made of ‘life’ in this world, other than stopping each one of us from participating in our own minds, to eventually live in a physical common sensical reality wherein we will be able to decide how we want to experience ourselves, what we can enjoy ourselves with based on Living-  not only experiencing vicariously through pictures and stories that we see through the media.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘judge the media’ as ‘the system’ that manipulates, controls and molds people’s opinion, without realizing that we can only be influenced and directed in such a way if we haven’t allowed ourselves to develop common sense and an actual practical living understanding of what living as equals implies in terms of using the media to support life and better our living conditions, such as being informed, educated and having the ability to communicate about points that pertain all equally.

 

I see and realize that as long as this world is based on profit, whatever we can get through the media will still be biased and side-viewed according to the interests at play, which we are not yet fully aware of which is how within developing common sense, we are able to stop easily following the ways that we have been taught to think, believe and perceive ourselves as, not only ‘the world’ but our very own life within the schemes that we have accepted and allowed, such as valuing ourselves according to how we look, where we live, how much money do we have, how educated we are and all of the various points that are currently determining an entire beings’ experience in this world, which is NOT based in Equality as what’s best for all – hence our living-commitment to become the culture of life that promotes self-support, equality and the realization that: we are able to in fact live in a best for all way if each one of us does their part.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to build opinions and judgments about the information that I take from the media based on how I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘trust’ and ‘believe’ in certain information if ‘enough evidence is existent’ – without realizing that I have been equally brainwashed to believe things based on presenting supposed “facts” and “evidence” wherein I then allow my perspectives be molded and shaped according to how the media presents it in front of my eyes to read/ watch.

I realized that any idea that I could have of myself being ‘above’ the media-brainwashing process, I was in fact deliberately being oblivious to my own participation within it, as what the media presents is the reflection of ourselves in all ways: our desires, dreams, judgments, discrimination, fascinations, yearnings, hopes, criticisms toward the world, beliefs, etc. It is our mirror and our own trap to keep us well occupied while neglecting the reality as we serve the money-god with the eternal motivational factors like seeking to experience ‘heaven’ with no regard to whomever had to suffer the consequences of such ‘acceptable desire.’

There can be no heaven on Earth unless it is equally available for all.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take part of the sides and factions that are created within presenting a ‘case’ and having people supporting one side or the other – which is only creating enough fuzz and buzz that has one single outcome: creating enough waves in order to make the most money out of people being watching/ reading from the media, which allows them to sell publicity for a lot of money.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create myself as a being that can ‘trust upon evidence’ without ever realizing that such evidence can obviously be manipulated in order to get a particular outcome – and within that, allowing me to take and create a particular side and make opinions/ judgments upon the subject of the news/ event in our world, without having allowed myself to give enough space to develop the common sense perspective and Self Honesty that we all have, yet suppressed when listening to our thoughts within our mind, instead of considering any other way based on an actual understanding of how reality works.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having believed myself to be able to ‘discern’ and be judicious, prudent, mature and clear sighted when watching the news and information through the media, without realizing that even while believing myself to be that, I was only generating further judgments within my mind about the separation and ‘ridiculousness’ of it all. I see and realize that whenever I see myself being ‘out of the game’ and taking a particular ‘side’ to it, I am in fact still playing the game – I realize that I am able to support myself through watching what is currently being broadcasted and information and discern it within the starting point and constant reference of ‘what is best for all. ‘

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to judge a man as being a potential pedophile just because of what I perceived was an ‘unusual enjoyment with kids,’ without realizing that I was then  also becoming that which I have judged about others and fearing others believing about myself as well when being around kids. I realize that I have also become part of the products that media has ‘profiled’ as a ‘critical beings’ yet within the bounds of the information that I receive, instead of having allowed myself to develop common sense to not only take a certain ‘side’ when watching the news, but always considering what is best for all and thinking out of the box wherein no sides are taken but rather seen from another angle and perspective that is usually not portrayed within the usual biased way of presenting information within the media, which is specifically portrayed in such a way to divide people and conquer through making loads of money out of it.

I realize that this is in no way judging the media itself, as I’ve explained it’s our direct reflection of how the starting point of what we do has become ‘profit’ in all ways, and how human integrity is surpassed when money is the point that’s the aim within ‘making a story’ instead of sharing stories within common sense that act as educative tools for ourselves as human beings walking similar lives to the lives of others or those that have gone before us.

That’s how the Desteni material is in fact the type of education  – and why not-  enjoyment that comes when being able to get ‘real life stories’ that don’t require any pictures for us to identify ourselves within it and get the opportunity to live the correction while we are still here on Earth.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a system wherein we have bound each other to not be able to trust anything or anyone, just because anything can be easily manipulated and  anyone can be easily corrupted for money, wherein we have accepted and allowed money to become the actual ‘main role’ within this reality wherein all living beings and all our relationships are relegated to a second plane, wherein they are tainted by and through the very point that money represents: your ability to live and die, your success or failure within this system.

I realize that there is no current support being promoted in this world due to the starting point of that which is ‘popular’ being made out of the greed for profit making that is still doable and feasible in this world. Hence I see that only through stopping myself from participating in the same cycles of motivation through and by energy, I can start living the equality-process as myself, wherein I stop my own energetic dependencies in a desire to ‘live’ – and instead focus and direct myself to walk within the consideration of the actual reforms and processes that are required in order to LIVE and not survive.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a capitalist in the very thoughts that I have projected onto reality according to the ‘evidence’ that I am presented with, which means that I am only seeing through the same eye of the mind that I have trained myself-as to invariable take one of the two sides that are existent within the presentation of a story – and even remaining ‘neutral’ is also a position that is mostly comfortable and safe, which is further evasion of reality while believing that such points ‘do not have anything to do with ourselves’ which is an egotistical-perspective wherein I am only considering ‘my experience’ instead of realizing that these are points that exist in this reality = therefore, they are also part of who and what I have become.

I realize that in order to ‘change the media’ that we are currently getting, it is a process of self-education first, developing common sense and having Self-Honesty as the key that we all walk individually, to realize how we have fooled ourselves and manipulated our very reality in order to suit a delusional system of power games and values that were imposed onto the physical reality that is HERE as one and equal.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having dared to partake in the general rejoice that we as human beings within society get when being sarcastic, judgmental and making a mockery out of ‘public figures,’ tending to forget that they are also beings that are as real as you and I and that only got to be in a certain position wherein they become part of the ‘eyes of the world’ without ever stopping myself to question why I am validating myself being ‘opinionated’ about anyone, really – regardless of knowing them or not knowing them.

 

We live in fear because we realize our ability to judge and live in eternal comparison and power games within wanting to ‘be the winner’ – which in this case is the belief that I could be ‘out of the loop’ of what I judged as ridiculous and vulgar such as what the media would portray, without realizing that in doing so I was in fact taking an arrogant position toward the reality that I am living in, that is here as myself and my creation, no mater how much I perceived myself to be ‘outside of it.’

 

 

3. Eventually we end up fearing being judged because of what we know within ourselves we are able and capable to do within our secret mind when judging someone and ‘get away with it,’ believing that there is no consequence to it. Well, the time is here to face our own reality based on how we believed that ‘thinking’ and ‘judging’ caused ‘no harm’ to anyone, and believing it to be ‘our personal affair’ or even ‘right’ to do so, wherein we develop a vicarious relationship toward the world within our secret mind wherein we are always ‘above it all’ apparently, being able to even get a kick out of confabulating stories and judgments upon others without ever daring to see that none of it is about ‘them’ and that such judgment can only be revealing what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become individually. It’s our own Mirror of Flesh.

 

The same point goes with judging people that apparently ‘had it all’ yet realizing that even with ‘all the money and fame of the world’ if their inner experience was not able to be sorted out by themselves, they would eventually live out in a self-deprecating way the same that a person living on the streets would. And even from a broader perspective, I realized that it doesn’t matter how much money a person may have, the single fact of having to live  in this world wherein there is an obvious inequality and abuse, makes such fame and fortune something that should be rather regarded as self-abuse other than praising it as the ‘grandiosity’ that we tend to veil such people with, accepting and allowing such fortune as ‘mere luck’ or even ‘hard work’ without taking into consideration that such luck and hard work is not even a possibility for someone that is born in a condition of extreme poverty by default.

 

Another point is how we also tend to apply judgments generally toward a particular sector of the people in this world – specifically in these cases ‘famous people’ as artists or politicians and anyone else ‘in the spotlight.’ I realize how all of such judgments were based on the information that I would get ‘about them’ based on how media manipulates it to suit their interests – which, once again – are profit-driven and even often politically driven in order to manipulate society in a particular direction for purposes that might not even be directly related to the person in the spotlight.

Now, if we apply the same point onto not only other people, but laws, the nature of institutions, how money system works, our social considerations, education, human relationships – we can start considering that we have in fact never been self-directive beings but only conditioned to live in a drone-mode that complies to consume and believe that fearing each other and having to defend yourself from others is ‘normal,’ that seeking for only the well being of ‘your loved ones’ is only ‘natural predisposition’ and that caring only about your own interests is part of being a ‘clever human being.’ Nice tags that we’ve used to disguise the absolute abuse, fear and greed that we have all participated in –in an open and blatant way or in a silent and reserved manner.

 

 

4. In terms of media manipulation, I watched a documentary two weeks ago wherein the production and presentation of the material is leading you to understand that people that dare to actually inform of the harsh reality within society, exposing the actual ‘arrangements’ that are built within the ‘power spheres’ in our society -such as politics, media, religion – they are immediately banned and shut down, making it virtually impossible to keep going unless they ‘find their own way’ within the system, having no support from the official “authorities” to expand their journalism.

However, as much as these people were committed to expose drug cartels and even had members of their staff killed as part of the vengefulness from the people that were exposed in their newspaper, it is also just another side of the coin within the game. I realized at the end of it that you go out of the movie believing that ‘what  they do is ‘right’ and that they are being victimized within this country’ as in being censored to the point of not having any paper to produce their weekly journal, which forces them to produce it outside of the country across the northern border in the U.S. Well, the reality is that even in exposing the worst cases of drug cartels and  killings and hostages that take place, it has not made a difference in this world, no matter how many of the newspaper staff had to die, it still has not made any difference, because it remains only as a point that merely reports/ exposes yet, doesn’t propose an actual point of support within understanding how the money system works and how everything that exist – as it exist-  is the direct result of our accepted and allowed structure as our world system based on profit-making, as the only way to survive.

 

 

5. I got a similar realization when watching Anna’s vlog on ‘Are single people more depressed? – Fear in the Media Exposed’ which is another proof of how all of these articles that are promoted to ‘test yourself’ are in fact leading you to instigate a question within you, that you will then be curious enough to see if what they are proposing as elements to identify yourself-with equate to a particular tag that could define in fact ‘who you are.’ And if you identify yourself with such judgments/ tags and self-beliefs, you are then invariably lead to accept the rest of the content as ‘the explanation of who you are,’ which in this case is making people believe that: if you are single, you are more prone to feeling depressed and lonely and in that, creating a direct ‘hint’ saying ‘Hello, you have a ‘problem’ and you require a solution’ wherein one would then ‘seek solutions’ to the perceived ‘emotional instability’ which leads to the usual answers given within our wondrous pharmaceutical reality wherein Prozac knocks at your door whenever the word ‘depression’ is placed in front of your eyes. Isn’t this the ultimate brainwashing to create unnecessary illnesses and mental ‘problems’ only to make a quick and perpetual buck out of it? It is – yet we accept it and allow it. That’s how a ‘medical voice’ can suggest taking Prozac for the sake of stopping feeling miserable while being lonely? Never realizing that the people that created such ‘tests’ got some money out of it, the people that sell you the drugs, get some money out of it and the people that will continue supplying with such drugs will love you for the rest of your life for the same reason. Who’s the one that bought into the game? You/ I / we did.

 

We have become so used to ‘linking the dots’ according to how we ‘learn through the media’ which is how we become – and accept our inherent propensity- as predictable systems that, if we believe ourselves to have some type of mental disorder or ‘unbalance,’ we will then ‘seek for help’ because we fear being sick and eventually dying – that’s how we are always seeking to be as ‘hell-thee’ as possible without actually understanding what physical support really is, which is once again not based on the multivitamins and additives that are put on your food and promoted as ‘health food.’ It’s about developing common sense to first see how we have bought into an industry of ‘life’ instead of even figuring out what LIVING actually is.

 

This is not from a judgmental point, because we realize that we have all been equally participating in this system of money-making lives and for that, we can place ourselves in the shoes of those with such fortunes and ‘power’ and we would probably have done the exact same thing. Hence this is to clarify that there are no energetic strings attached to this exposure, it is about placing out what I have seen and realized today as the accumulation of hearing these interviews by people that allow me to realize what a tyrant I was when becoming a walking sack of judgments toward the world that is myself.

 

6. there is one clear example that has changed my perspective toward myself and ‘how I see the world’ this year, which was the interview done by  Gadhafi of course which I have Vlogged about as well – I’ll leave the links below – wherein I realized that I had never questioned my own brainwashing about it, and  that I have judged indiscriminately people that I didn’t ever get to meet or actually talk to, yet accepted it because that’s what apparently ‘famous people’ are entitled to go through, being the bait for all our human scorn to be projected onto them, forgetting about the fact that: they are also human beings!

When you get to hear ‘from their own voice’ their actual inner experience in contrast to what was presented in the media  – which is ‘how’ we ‘get to know them,’ it is inevitable to not react in  embarrassment and even regret for having participated in such judgments based on the opinion-building abilities that media has right now, of which we can only support ourselves to stop believing that ‘evidence builds a case’ and taking everything on a ‘face value’ instead of allowing ourselves to develop common sense, focus on becoming the point that stops all judgment, that stops building any ideas about others, and instead becomes the constant and consistent example of how we can coexist as human beings that support each other to live, not to gossip, judge and stigmatize people based on what causes enough sensationalism to make money out of it.

The me.die and enter.tamement industry begins and ends with us stopping our own mind from seeking useless diversions to not face ourselves and take self responsibility for our own lives. We begin with ourselves here.

 

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2012 Death and Destruction

To me 2012 was a year of ‘The End’ and I was once an acrid believer that something would happen in 2012. I would  get an energetic kick out of speaking about ‘the apocalypse,’ ‘the end of the world’ and all possible outcomes wherein I mostly wanted everything to be wiped out, it would make my life ‘exciting’ as in looking forward to the year we’ve just stepped in now.

I assume that this belief got to my ears through the Discovery Channel back in 1998 or around that time when I was interested in watching exorcisms, prophecies and all things occult that they would broadcast from time to time. The idea of ‘the end of the world’ and ‘alien abductions’ were topics that fascinated me and my father from a young age. We both wanted us to get abducted by aliens – yes as bizarre as that may sound – until I got to see a movie called ‘fire in the sky’ and then stopped desiring being alien abducted going to the opposite of ‘being scared of being alien abducted.’  Funny that I didn’t remember that and it just came up as I began writing.

The general ‘feeling’ of talking about aliens, the end of the world, Nostradamus, 2012, Earth’s cataclysms and the general madness in the world was that of excitement mixed with a sense of fear at the same time, along with a general sensation at a physical level like when you get chills,  it was an overall energetic experience to point it out bluntly. If I could give a word to it would be ‘sublime’ wherein something that is supposed to be of great horror produces a sense of  pleasure and fascination, mostly related to the pictures and aesthetics associated with it.

Now, I would have to go as far as seeing how living less than a 100 km away from a volcano that suddenly became quite active when I was 7 years old became part of this constant ‘watch’ of ‘something bad happening’ in the form of a natural disaster. I used to be the one linking all possible tragedies and events to a potential ‘end of the world,’ I became a clue-finder seeking in all religions and all prophecies all points that could match a general pattern that could confirm to me: the world is going to end in 2012.

2012 was of course then the reason why I came across Desteni while seeking lectures on YouTube explaining the Mayan Calendar by Ian Xel Lungold. This guy’s explanation seemed really accurate at the time in the overall understanding/ explanation of this calendar as the exact depiction of events and cycles that we’ve lived as humanity, which  made absolute sense to me. I bought a book by Dr. Calleman called The Mayan  Calendar and the Transformation of Consciousness – which I’ve recently given away – and after I read that book, I was eager to know ‘more’ about it all. So I ran a search and found Ian Xel Lungold from the Afterlife and the rest is history.

It all made sense to me right away, I became extremely excited and kept watching the material until I realized that 2012 had been a sick joke, a part of the program to keep humans entertained and realized that I had been duped just like everyone else. I mean, when I was in high school I would engage myself in long conversations about how we required to just give an end to the world, because that was the only solution I saw  to the increasing problems we were facing in that moment –this was around 2004/ 2005.

Now,we know that there will be no end of the world per se – The only End I could promote now is the endless human disregard and carelessness toward this reality as ourselves, the end of the negligence toward each other, the end of being self-centered humans that have no fucking idea of how the world works, how we are currently keeping the system in place and how the reality that we ‘seek to attain’ within this current system is sickening the world to its highest capacity.

After all these years- and I mean a belief that probably remained dormant and as a secret ‘back door’ in my mind for over half of my life – I realized that I wanted it all to end because deep inside I would see no solution, nor did I ever see myself as the point that could be the solution itself. I actually went as far as making choices in life based on ‘the world ending in 2012’ – I’m walking the manifested consequences of all the deliberate decisions I made based on me literally thinking that by 2011-2012 the situation in the world would be so dire that I would not have any time/money left to study, I pictured myself living in the worst case scenario by 2012 wherein I could finally make use of my excuse to not direct myself effectively while claiming ‘The world was going to end anyways!’

Just to give some perspective on the lies that I read. According to Calleman, by November 2011 there would be no human being on Earth without having reached enlightenment.

However, this entire 2012 point became more than just ‘a year,’ it was a general view/ perspective creating an entire personality within me of seeing humanity as doom. Now this is not about now stopping seeing the reality as it is. It’s about stopping perceiving the reality through the eyes/perspective of a general ‘doom’ and gloomy view wherein the thoughts that would run through my head were only that of giving a ‘clean end’ to this world. I realize that I don’t have to be keeping this ‘view’ on the world all the time. I am aware of it yet don’t allow myself to participate within further energetic kicks and secret resorts of thinking that I want it all to just end for once and for all.

AA’s videos on her wanting to end this entire existence were of great support for me in the past because I realized that I had the same ‘secret desire’ for that, yet she proved herself how it is not possible to destroy it all hence we go into the reason and excuse of why it was easier to promote and think of ‘an end’ to this reality without taking responsibility for it.

Self victimization is just another way to not take self responsibility and actually do what is required to be done. It was much easier to just claim doom and not actually take the time and dedication to correct myself.

As I continue this after having recorded myself in this, I see that 2012 point and general view on the world is no different to a god belief on something/ someone wiping out the Earth all of a sudden, with everything and everyone just having an end for once and for all. 

So, what I am doing here is directing myself to stop this personality which is one of those points that I’ve held on to as a point of self definition that entailed ‘hope’ as well, not hoping for things to ‘get better’ but hoping for a clean end to come out of nowhere for everyone.  I mean, these thoughts of wanting to exterminate it all are quite old. I have an image of having these thoughts when I was in elementary school – around 5th grade – and how when discussing the rate of pollution and general problems in the world, I had this image of extermination of all humans in my head, I judged myself for having those thoughts because of seeing them as ‘evil.’ Ever since I kept it as a secret, a form of general ‘disgust’ toward myself and the rest of humanity for becoming the scavengers of this Earth. Once again, this is not to now claim ourselves to be little white doves, this is to end the energetic input I would place to this which would create general experiences of animosity and apathy toward human beings, another form of superiority wherein I apparently was the only one that ‘saw’ reality and our ‘true parasitic nature’ on this Earth.

Actually, part of this process has been moving from this general aversion toward humanity into making myself the  proof that it is possible to change. This is not easy, it is a process – though I am certain that it is possible because we have examples already of that with many walking this process along. We’re not done yet of course and there’s a lot to be walked through as the manifested consequences of our general disregard toward life in this reality. However,  this time it’s very clear how to proceed from now on in terms of not participating in this general personality of seeing it all as gloomy-doomy eventually becoming my own experience and contributing to the actual doom and gloom that many human beings are in fact experiencing every single day because of our general disregard. Once again, it’s easier to have a particular gloomy perspective toward the world instead of taking self responsibility for it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to add a positive charge to ‘end of the world’ ideas as that would mean that I would be – apparently – able to finally ‘rest’ and ‘forget about it all’ in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I could ‘get away from this reality’ by dying and within this, believing that ‘it all would end which could only signify that I am not willing to walk an actual process of re-educating ourselves to live for the very first time as equals.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in thoughts of death and destruction  creating a general view/ perspective of reality wherein I would see ‘no way out’ of it other than  exterminating humanity to ‘end it all’ for this world.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see and realize that within wanting to ‘end it all’ I would only be standing as a single perspective according to ‘how I see the world’ wherein acting and thinking from this starting point destroying it all, would be an actual selfish and self-centered perspective, without taking into consideration the whole as myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that ‘wanting to end it all’ = wanting to end the creation that I thought I could not stand one and equal to, to create a point of self correction as myself within this reality, and instead resorting to quick fixes such as ‘ending it all’ because of believing and perceiving there was ‘no way out’ of it. I /we / all are creators of this reality and we take into consideration the fact that we must work together as equals toward a best for all outcome, instead of hiding and damning this reality by participating in thoughts that indicate an actual abdication of self responsibility.

I realize that the only way for us human beings to be acceptable within this world will be through a process of becoming Earthlings, living according to Earth’s rules and cycles, wherein we actually become the caretakers of nature, the animal kingdom and the entirety of the planet and every single part of it that is equally here, assisting and supporting the unconditional expressions that are here and that we’ve neglected for all this time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/ desire and wish for ‘an end’ to all of this as a form of not having to face myself, not having to actually live a life of actual work and dedication to create myself as the point of change I see we require to take on as ourselves to create a world that’s best for all. I see, realize and understand that ‘seeking the end’ is another quick fix to not have to actually face the consequences of our actions as human beings. I direct myself to be and become the change that I want to see in this world, not only for myself but for the rest of the beings that are equally here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form this personality of seeing only ‘death and destruction’ as a form of sticking to a point of self-definition and entire personality wherein all things related to such points would be of my ‘fascination,’ which is another way to keep myself entertained and ‘fascinated’ with the experience/ energetic kick I’d get out of it, instead of actually investigating how I have contributed to the separation that is existent within this reality that is ourselves, our creation.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to perpetuate this point of ‘doom and gloom’ by engaging and promoting ‘the end of the world’ wherein the secret desire was that of not having to actually walk a life of taking self responsibility, of having a job, having to walk the general lifestyle that a human being has – hence I actually feared facing this reality ‘as it is,’ and the quick way out of that was through ‘exterminating everyone’ including myself, which is an actual self-righteous and self-centered perspective that is not taking into consideration the actual consequences taken in the name of others as well.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to identify myself with this general fascination  with ‘the end of the world’ and create it as a ‘link’ toward my father because of him ‘liking these topics as well’ and making of it a justification of why I get these thoughts of death and destruction and have made them something ‘cool’ to talk about, because of how I used to use such topics to be able to relate to him.

I actually got to confirm this by striking a conversation with him and getting to see what’s the source of his general anger explosions over really insignificant things (e.g. “losing” the parking lot’s ticket and becoming extremely irritated about it) and the conversation got us to how he gets violent thoughts toward other human beings wherein in the past, if enough rage accumulated, he’d actually engage into verbal/physical fights –

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to divert my point of responsibility by exerting anger and rage toward the world and seeing ‘the world’ and the people in it as ‘the problem,’ instead of first looking at myself and realizing where I am not being self honest and taking responsibility for what I am participating in within my thoughts wherein the ultimate separation toward other human beings and the entire existence is generated to eventually be manifested as the reality that we’re living in.

We’ve accepted this ‘temperament’ as ‘hereditary’ and it was only yesterday that I saw how I would identify with such thoughts that he would sometimes externalize in a half-joking way. I always accepted them as part of my father’s personality, never seeing how such point existed within me as well. Hence all of this is here to understand how I have created myself according to my father’s thoughts in terms of death, extermination and so forth. It’s fascinating because you don’t get that impression of people holding these thoughts when interacting with  them (him/ myself) yet such thoughts are actually existent within us, which is a general fucked up thing really as the invisible backchat that we hold every single moment that we are not breathing here, it is only now that I am here to stop them for once and for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create  of this ‘death and destruction’ perspective of the world as another form of ‘hope’ and ‘belief’ for something just provoking the end of the world in one way or another, just so that I don’t have to actually walk through the manifested consequences of having separated myself from this reality and not taking responsibility of it/myself = self-responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever get a sense of comfort out of talking and voicing these thoughts with another and get validation in the form of ‘I think  the same way,’ wherein I then accepted my thoughts on death and destruction as ‘valid’ within the context of not feeling ‘as evil’ now because ‘someone else is also experiencing it’ therefore it must be ‘okay’ to stick with them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold on to this particular personality as a way to keep ‘myself’ as an ego that solaces in thinking/ wishing for an end so that I don’t have to face myself in reality.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to have disgust toward myself as a human being and a general aversion toward humanity because of only seeing us as parasites sucking out the life out of this reality instead of looking at how we can become the points that support life and stand as pillars to restore that which we have destroyed and neglected throughout time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep a ‘secret desire’ to end this world, to give an end to my life and everyone’s life just because of not seeing a way out of this. Very interesting, I see how self-righteous this point is

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act in self-righteousness whenever I see and perceive that ‘there is no other way  other than killing everyone’ and within this, taking a decision for myself and ‘everyone else’ without even taking a moment to consider the actual implication of this point in reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to view this world and reality from the starting point and perspective of death and destruction wherein I saw no ability to create solutions because of allowing myself to be overwhelmed by the words, pictures and images that I’ve seen and participated in, without realizing that with me existing in such a constant and perpetual ‘point of view,’ I am actually co-creating and manifesting this reality the way that I am currently seeing it and perceiving it – therefore I stop because it is common sense to stop adding more misery and destructive thoughts to this reality.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that within the very starting point of ‘how I see the world’ I am perpetuating this general view of death, destruction, helplessness and overwhelming experience of the world ‘as myself,’ without realizing that whatever I accept and allow myself to think and experience, I am in fact not stopping but continuing to participate in it as a form of keeping my mind/ thoughts/ personality intact and creating an excuse as to why it is ‘okay’ for me to continue existing in this particular world-view/ reality-perspective.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to engage into the perspective of death and destruction because of feeling like a ‘victim’ within this world, wherein I would see myself as a victim from the starting point of ‘not having ‘chosen’ to come to this world’ hence justifying my actions and perspectives as an outcome of me ‘not having chosen to be here.’

 I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create of the belief ‘I did not choose to come to this world’ a justification and validation to judge everyone in this world as ‘humanity’ as a form of spitefulness for believing and perceiving that I was only brought into this world without me wanting to be here – hence using t his point as a form of justification to rebel against my parents at some point and against the world that I thought ‘wasn’t meant for me.’

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to use this perspective as a form of superiority wherein I was in fact only seeking to validate my excuses to not take self responsibility for this world just by the mere fact of being here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a sense of helplessness when looking at the world wherein it became an easier aspect to ‘play out’ as an experience, instead of becoming the point of solution that I see is required in this world, instead of only focusing on the doom and gloom wherein the only ‘way out’ was a general wish/ desire for human extermination.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to contribute to the current reality of actual death and destruction that I judge, criticize and complain about without realizing that within my own experience as the general perspective toward myself and this world, I was re-creating that which I wanted to ‘stop’ – hence I stop seeking an ‘end’ outside of myself and become the end of such experiences myself, wherein I do not accept and allow  myself to perpetuate such thoughts to use them as an excuse to ‘not stand up’ because it all being seemingly ‘futile.’

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to only consider ‘my own view’ of this world as ‘real’ and accepting the blunt ways in which I see/ perceive it as ways in which I could justify my apparent inability to create and stand as the solution, instead of always having the same starting point wherein no matter how much I could see the common sense of a general situation, because of having this initial and ingrained starting point of ‘wanting to end it all,’ everything would be diminished to the level of ‘temporary highs’ that I would use to get myself ‘up’ for a moment, only to reach the bottom once that I would go back to seeing the world in the same way/ perspective of death and destruction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create my own veil toward this reality wherein I have stated ‘all I can see is death and destruction’ and within that, creating my entire experience accordingly, wherein I would go judging people in this world from a superiority point without daring to look at myself and how I am in fact part of the same points that stand in separation from each other the moment that we dare to remain as such self-judgment, disregarding that we are in fact doing this to ourselves within the realization that we are all part of this reality that is here as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that within wanting to ‘get rid of something’ I am actually not standing one and equal to it to create a solution ‘within it’ and mingle myself as equal to such points to become the direction that is required to create a best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to  use the idea of ‘killing/ exterminating/ getting rid of’ as quick fixes to not have to actually walk the process of self-correction that is here and that I am being able to walk one and equal as everything and everyone else that is willing to stand as equals as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually fear facing the manifested consequences of this reality and within fear, wanting everything to just ‘disappear’ so that I don’t have to deal with the ‘ghosts’ of regret and guilt for not having done anything to stop this reality as myself, within myself.

The point that I explained in the video 2012 the world ends with you is exactly this point: if we don’t like what we see, we then become the point of change that we want to see in this world instead of being perpetually judging it and confining myself to a single perspective wherein it becomes quite ‘difficult’ to see ‘some light at the end of the road’ without realizing that I have only been placing myself deliberately to look only through that tunnel, instead of realizing I can simply stand aside and see the greater picture without having to seek for ‘a way out’ but instead see how I am able to integrate myself – mingle myself – as one and equal as everything that  is here through practically correcting my perspective and view of this world to begin with.

And so, this is the process that I’m walking. This is the beginning of the end of my self created doomsday perspective of this world. If I see that this reality must stop, that this reality cannot continue as it is existing now, I become that point that stops within myself at the thought level. Instead I support myself to start seeing how to create solutions, how to correct myself, how to implement ways in this world wherein we can walk an actual process of self-creation in equality in every moment that I am able to breathe here, stop participation in doom and gloom and instead, use that to expose this reality along with the practical solutions to stop such events from manifesting, which is the process that begins with ourselves. I stop.

Suggest hearing AA’s video on this point which allowed me to ‘breakthrough’ this point

Too Lazy to Change

2012 The World Ends with You

Support yourself – learn how to walk this process to the utmost specificity here

Beginners – Thoughts, Writings and Self Forgiveness – Conscious, SubConscious and UnConscious Mind


Creation and Responsibility

If god had not existed as part of the preprogramming in this reality, we would probably not be in such a chaotic situation in this world where we’ve made of invisible gods and money the invisible rulers of the planet – instead we would have accepted our point of responsibility within creation. “If I can’t find the origin = I must be the origin” this should be the ultimate debunker for  the entire idea of ‘God’ as the creator. Though we are here, 21st century and no real change or ‘evolution’ as many claim has taken place – right, because it won’t ‘take place’ by itself, it must be created.

 

Such evolution is unlikely to ‘happen’ according to the inherent programming we have. God was a fucker that made us with the preprogrammed belief of ‘creation is not equal to creator’ and in that, because life was not taken into consideration at the moment of understanding creation, they ended up locking themselves out of this creation as well. Figure it out, Life cannot be really subdued, only not recognized and realized within each one in Equality.

Due to not recognizing each other as one, due to being in a constant strive to ‘get to the top,’ the reality that is here as this world is being absolutely neglected to the extent of existing in an absolute alarming state in all human aspects – and no one seems to care enough. I ponder: how long can we endure this? How long will we have to wait until everyone starts caring? Probably the moment that you open your tap water and get no flow out of it or you go to a supermarket and find the shelves are empty or go to the gas station to  fill your car’s tank and find there is no oil left for a refill.

We’ve been so used to only take and take and only give paper and coins in exchange and use it self righteously as if it was a real ‘fair pay’ for it, without never really caring to know how our water is distributed, what happens to the shit when I flush it, where does my garbage go, how is electricity distributed and generated, where is the food that I’m eating coming from – and then extending it to the rest of the world like getting to know how our usually made in Bangladesh, Thailand, India clothes are the result of slave labor that can only benefit the retail store that sells it to you for a high price, only because of the brainwashing we participate in as some type of prestige and fame that the brand itself has created according to an entire propagandistic campaign that tells you what is In and out in fashion. Fashion is currently a rather fascist business that is blatantly abusing people that don’t have any other opportunity to have a decent job and the only thing that’s left is creating clothes in massive factories wherein each second is equated to a cent. Time is Money and we must place a final stop in such ‘equation.’

I watched the documentary on water and they reveal shitty facts about Mexico City. I actually live quite near to one of the devastated areas with what once was like ‘Venezia’ with great methods used in pre-hispanic times for agriculture. Now it’s known that if one dives in there and you’ll get all types of diseases like cholera – yet food is still grown there. Negligence is everywhere,  not considering that resources are not precisely renewable. The environment in this city is living proof of the inconsideration upon the environment and resources available here. The most basic principles are still not lived at all.

I have been giving my garbage to the same men for almost 5 years now, they know me and I see how because of the regard I have toward their job I’ve developed this way of greeting them every morning and smiling as if that could make their lives and jobs ‘less miserable,’  I have written about this point specifically yet, it seems that they do appreciate the fact that one can say more than the usual ‘thank you’ and giving some coins as if that was our ‘compensation’ for the job they do.  So, all I have to do is change the starting point of me not feeling ‘sorry’ for them and simply express in that moment.

I’ve probably expressed before how they should get at least the best pay in the current system because of what they have to do , but this wouldn’t be ‘acceptable’ within the current fucked up value system wherein people that are ‘well prepared’ and have master’s degrees are the ones that get the most rewards by the system for sitting on a chair and pretending they care to be an actual example of what it is to create solutions in this world. Not at all. It’s very common to see that people with jobs like garbage men, general cleaning workers or in construction smoke weed for the sake of ‘getting by’ in their reality. This is also common for public transportation drivers, people working in grocery stores, 9-9 businesses selling random stuff. If we dare to look at the amount of people being in some type of drug, we would realize that almost everyone is in some form of drug and that it is the only way that everyone is ‘coping with reality’ instead of finding a solution.

I was lying on the floor of my room, I  saw  a note I took on from some other documentary: 900 million cars are in this world – holy fuck! Is there any viable solution to keep filling each car’s tank? Do we simply have to Stop? And as I was pondering about this and many other problems we’re facing in this world, getting myself in a momentary mindfuck of ‘there is no way we can continue this way,’ when everything began moving around me,  it was an earthquake just  few hours ago, the Earth literally shook the ground beneath me. I snapped out of it and went outside – all is fine around here and it was a literal wake up call to not indulge into these experiences.

 

We go back to the initial point: why only seeking to bail ourselves out instead of taking the wheel of the car and changing the entire fucked up structure of this reality? Why only focusing on case-specific situations in our world to ‘create solutions.’ Sure I mean, we have seen the ‘hero of the year’ on CNN with people trying to eradicate slavery, but it won’t work as permanent solution because it’s just putting on the infamous band aid while the wound is deep to the core of the entire system. Same with ‘peace prizes,’why having to implement ‘peace’ while we could be creating a permanent solution that creates living conditions that are honorable for everyone and with that end all forms of disputes between humans –  why then having to make of such actions that should be everyone’s responsibility a matter of ‘awards’ and pompous events sponsored by corporations that are most likely responsible for the direct permanence of the abuse they could be reflecting upon in the show.

It’s certainly Not the way to go and we’ve made of any possible solution just another race for fame and glory, not really considering the whole picture that is ourselves as well.

What I watched on CNN in a show called ‘Bullying Stops Here’ with the so-called ‘sane’ people in American TV like Anderson Cooper and Doctor Phil, we see how they try to address the bullying problem, bringing the kids to expose their stories only to generate more feelings of condescendence ending it all with creating some type of ‘reward’ to the suffering they have to endure after they exposed how they’re hit, peed on and cursed at every single day, without having any solution coming from ‘teachers’ or parents as ‘authorities’ being able to solve the problem. Instead Anderson makes space for the kid to sing a Lady Gaga song so that the show ends with this ‘sweet taste’ in people’s heads like ‘oh, poor kids but he got to sing and be applauded for it, how nice was that!’ then change the channel and forget about it all. Same with the rest of the kids that exposed how they were picked on due to apparent sexual preferences, race, size, being ‘intelligent’ in school etc. I can relate to the latter, I never experienced it as intense as these kids do, but I definitely know how much others’ comments can ‘lower your self esteem’ if not ready to face such words and support ourselves to not take them personal.

All of this makes us ask the ultimate question: what we we doing to ourselves? Our kids are becoming bullies or bullied without there being a ‘solution’ because: it all begins at home!  The world is simply reflecting back the disregard and negligence we have toward ourselves, abusing ourselves in any means possible, seeking for ways to ‘cope with reality’ without taking self responsibility to Change it/ Correct it in a sustainable way.

 

As long as we remain subdued by the imaginary and fictional story of money having more power than life, we’ll remain with the same constrictions that we’ve created almost in a masochistic way to remain in separation, to remain absolutely hating each other and getting used to the idea of ‘this life being this way’ and that’s it, no more ‘questions’ about it. I mean, that’s how my parents were probably educated, they educated me the same way and that’s now the reason why I must be the point that stops from perpetuating the same old ways on to future generations. We cannot possibly continue this way and unless we vow ourselves to take humanity through this correctional process, we will simply cease to exist – not by any ‘mysterious’ condition, but as the result of the consequences of our actions reaching the top and overflowing in an inevitable end to the entire human drama.

I said to myself at least 3 times today: the problem is the human being –as without us, non of this would be happening on Earth. We are the problem = we must be the solution and using the homeopathic principle of ‘like cures like’ we use Money as the point to cure the atrocities that have been perpetuated by money itself, by changing its principle and base foundation of existence – from debt and a tool to subjugate to an accounting tool to make life available for everyone equally.

We don’t require ‘spiritual gods’ or any other light and love belief system to take self responsibility, it is in fact through accepting our self responsibility that we can stop looking up above for answers and start caring for what goes on here on Earth.

Becoming part of the solution begins with each one of us, the more we wait, the more shit will hit the fan. We must stand together, we must learn how to work together and work with our ‘differences’ individually, until we are able to stand within one single principle that rules this entire reality: Equality as Life – as all as One as Equal. That is the universal law that must be practically lived in this world and for that, human beings must love each other as neighbors, for real.


“If you create something, you should give it responsibility as well”
– Bernard Poolman


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