Tag Archives: poor

556. Transcending Inequality One at a Time

A story of how to be the starting point of getting past social and economic statuses through changing our relationships towards one another

I read the following article today Commercialisation: the antithesis of sharing by Mohammed Mesbahi and I find some supportive aspects he looks at when it comes to realizing that the obstacle to sharing are our individual desires to succeed at whatever cost above others, above nature, above common sense and how this way of thinking in a very egotistical manner has permeated into the nature of commerce itself, in how we exchange goods and services and so the nature of the system as we see it and live it on a daily basis.

I’d like to share a more personal perspective and experience as a way to walk through a potential solution in the seemingly realm of the ‘impossible’ when it comes to stopping the current nature of this system – which is entirely OUR human nature embodied in the ‘nature of the system in itself’ –  so that one can consider the effect that we can have within the decision to stand in certain living principles and decide to take on processes of self-change that precisely stop the antagonism, the fight, the constant hidden sense of blame towards ‘a few’ in the system as the only culprits to where we are currently in this massive inequality, because! It always takes two to tango and so we are all equally responsible for what’s here.

Invariably so, whatever consequences we face from this economic-outflow as damages are the ultimate wakeup call – just like any other consequence – for us to start looking back at ourselves as the source of the problem and so realizing the solutions we can embody if we also decide to put on some of our very own  

If I look at what I had to deconstruct and redefine within myself individually through walking this process with Desteni in order to embrace the equality of all people and all things – therefore of everything that’s here – I have to first start off by saying how it’s not as easy to simply ‘speak the words’ and right away live such equality as life. There are massive layers of mental conditioning that were accepted and allowed by myself throughout my entire life based on the totality of my  environment, family, social and economic context, information, education that I made my own and that I learned to start acting out on as a young person in this world.

An example is how in my early teens upon having access to magazines and some ads on TV, I was starting to get very much focused on wearing certain brands on my clothes, being quite ‘picky’ in relation to the social and economic status of the people I would be friends with and generally being more cautious and concerned about the role that money plays in creating relationships between people, in choosing friendships, in choosing where to go and hang out in or what one can afford to buy as clothes, entertainment, trips, luxury time, restaurants and the rest of it.

At the time – and this being when I was 12 or 13 years old – that was a source of insecurity as well when being in a school where people with a good amount of money went too as well. I am quite aware that my parents did their best to keep me grounded and not be impressed by the amount of money I saw some peers had, but ultimately it does affect one when not being ‘equal’ in that sense, especially during my early teenager years where upon seeing that I could not ‘follow up’ with their lifestyles or feel that I could ‘fit in’ entirely according to their hobbies, their likes and preferences and ‘affording’ them, a resignation emerged within me where I simply ‘gave up’ even trying to ‘fit in’ in certain groups of people. I’ve never been in a rich family, yet was fortunate enough to have access to very decent education which I am also grateful for, but that came also with witnessing quite an array of lifestyles that I simply was not going to even ‘try’ and match because I simply couldn’t and eventually I made myself entirely believe that I didn’t want it either.  

In that ‘resignation’ also came a definition of myself as ‘never being able to reach a higher economic status’ and so, building a sense of resentment towards those that were ‘richer’ than me, where I used intellect as a way to compensate for what I perceived was a ‘lack’ of traits that these other people had, like the money, the looks, the expensive things, the access to things and places that I simply gave up on even trying to get or fit into, which was entirely my decision as well because I am aware my sisters – having been in the exact same family context as I was – managed quite well to be part of that and not having to exist in an ‘urge’ to have more money or anything like that, which was cool. But in my case I became more like  the critical-eye to the lifestyles of my peers, demeaning them, judging them and being over-critical on what they would spend money on. The interesting thing is I made friends with them as well and as much as we could relate to each other as ‘human beings’ and ‘peers at school’ there was always an underlying point of separation based on me not precisely ‘having’ that which most of them had in terms of money and common lifestyles.

The bottom line is that I allowed this money-factor to determine ‘who I am’ in relation to others while going through junior high and high school, wherein as much as I could get along with everyone, I also in a very subconscious and conscious manner separate myself from them ‘by default’ due to the money-factor being an ever present point of comparison within me. And I have to say that I masked this quite well by taking a more critical eye to all things capitalism and the sheer desire for money and going into the judgment of it all as being ‘bad’ or ‘selfish’ as well, which I would blurt out at any opportunity I could.

I created a form of resentment towards money itself as well because I simply went into the resignation of ‘never’ in my life possibly been able to get to have their position, their status, their family benefits and the rest of it, which fueled more my antagonistic personality in which I gained a sense of power through in fact feeling powerlessness and inferiority/being less than when standing next to people that I knew had a lot of money, even denying the possibility of me having a boyfriend at the time of such friendship circles due to me believing that I was simply ‘not equal’ to them and at the same time, yep! There were some cases where some may have arranged relationships and marriages between ‘similar families’ to re-create the same elites they’ve always been a part of. Now that I look back at this it’s quite funny that I got to see firsthand how elitism works within a school context and how I accepted and allowed myself to get affected by it because I frankly saw it as impossible for me to ‘stand fully equal’ to the power of money that others portrayed in ‘who they are’ as personalities, as the stuff they own, as the positions they had in society, which I consider is entirely the same process that we all get conditioned through with either being on the ‘have’ or ‘have not’s side.

So, what I am aiming at here is looking at how each one of us recreates the acceptance and allowance of inequality through accepting and allowing money to define ‘who we are’ and so proceed to assess that one is ‘inferior’ or ‘superior’ to others for example in the context of ‘who has more or less money.’ And I’m also aware that not every single person defined themselves according to the money they had, maybe to some of them it was just a second skin they could not differentiate themselves from to the extent that there was no reflection upon it.

But in my case it did become a silent source of inadequacy, questioning and resenting elitism – while I made it quite a part of myself as well through judging, criticizing and antagonism out of spite – and at the same time creating a denial to ever conceive that ‘I could ‘belong’ to that’ – yet, would I have actually wanted to be part of that? At the time it wasn’t really so, but who knows if I had been born in what I call a ‘golden crib’? I bet it’s quite hard to distinguish ‘what’s normal’ or ‘the standard’ when all that you’ve ever lived in is comfort, luxury, benefits, VIP status wherever you go and frankly, I consider it will take a long time for all of these points to change, because it actually begins with us debunking the notion that money gives us ‘power’ to our persona, that we become in fact ‘more’ with the more money or control over others we get to have, and because we get so used to the comfort that money brings and because ultimately, we all would like a good and comfortable lifestyle, the problems are the extremes in it all where we’d have to learn how to be moderate yet not judge money as ‘evil’ in itself, but see through that veil to continue working on our potentials, on or purposes, what we can do in order to benefit more of life with money, instead of continuing to recreate the same parasitical patterns fueled by ego-driven desires.

I have also been on the side of directly creating hatred to a fellow peer in school – that later on became a good friend of mine by the way – where I would challenge his ‘wits’ that I considered were the result of having lived in a business family where he already was ‘hard wired’ to think in money and business-making ways, where he knew that getting more money wasn’t about ‘wishing money’ and that’s it – he understood that it all starts with creating the relationships, having the motivation of yes ‘making money’ but creating a suitable ideas for businesses.

At the time in my teenage years, I was getting to be more conscious/aware of capitalism and the system in itself, where I became his faithful opponent whenever he’d speak out his opinion that was geared to seeking this personal benefit through actions that would ultimately lead to ‘winning,’ to ‘being successful’ even if that meant stepping on top of others. One can imagine this kind of back and forths during class discussions over readings like ‘The Art of War’ and how I could simply have a hard time conceiving having to consider so many difficult moves in order to ‘win’ over someone else and me questioning that, which yes ultimately turned out to be quite ‘naïve’ when it comes to knowing ‘the ways of the world’ at the time.

I also had a very moral-based view on life at the time, where I was placing myself in this ‘good side’ of the equation, while not even being aware how we in fact have to consume life every single moment in order to exist and I didn’t even consider that as a factor that outflows into this world-enslavement that we’ve co-created, yet I was very quick to judge his Machiavellian ways and challenge his positions in what would end up in heated back and forths in front of the whole class. I definitely am aware I wanted to debase him and treated him as if he was only an egotistical rich dude that I had to expose at the eyes of everyone else, but eventually we walked a very realistic forgiveness process in our mutual relationship over time.

Situations happened in his life where somehow he probably realized how some of his views were separating him from more and more people – as in being disliked, hated, etc. – and he started being more considerate, flexible and that’s when we actually started having constructive discussions where we eventually found a common ground and I could learn more from how he was ‘wired’ to look at things in his mind, which was quite awesome by the way in how he could look at solutions and ways to ‘move’ reality to create a particular outcome.

In the school context, I was able to then take advantage of his skills and ways to even relate to teachers and we’d work in teams together when it came to school projects and such, it was quite the collaboration for our two last years of high school where I knew my ‘strengths’ and I knew his and we’d made a good team to get things done in a win-win way – which of course in school terms translates into good grades or passing exams and projects etc.

So I share this because it was quite a cool process to walk through after having had some two previous years of constant conflict with each other. But in order to create that, we both had to work with our personal issues as prejudices or points to transcend – like perceptions and opinions about each other – that had been primarily shaped according to and through money, defined according to his family name and social position and my own which was of a regular middle-class person that had to let go of a sense of inferiority towards him in order to start rather appreciating and developing more awareness on who he really was as an individual, behind this ‘façade’ that I had always seen him through which ‘oozed’ superiority at my eyes and possibly at the eyes of others. I had to apply humbleness and I know for a fact he did as well.

Later on I got to know who he was in a more in-depth manner which was actually very different to the myriad of prejudices or ‘first impressions’ that I had gotten from having heard a few of his opinions about just anything he could express, which I guess bothered me so much because they also reflected back to myself how opinionated I became to ‘counter act’ him and so, it was eventually kind of interesting how similar we ended up being when stepping out of our own egos. From ‘hating’ each other’s’ guts, we got to appreciate each other as friends and collaborators at the time.

Even though I had shared about this friendship in blogs before, it’s certainly the first time that I bring through the dimension of money, social status, ego and power as a reason for me to exist in a form of ‘inferiority’ towards him, while I also got to discover how he got to ‘make up for’ certain more personal inferiorities through the power, connections, relationships he could build through and with money itself. I actually got to see this more ‘real’ aspect within a few people in the same environment, and I had not reflected how interesting that part of my life was when it comes to being able to see people for ‘who they are’ as equals to me, with the same kind of ‘personal problems’ or insecurities, yet how the notion of money or certain status became a veil for me to see them as ‘unequal’ and ultimate a way for some to ‘cope’ with more personal issues – which is the same that I did with using intellect as a way to compensate for my sense of inferiority in terms of the ‘lack’ of money compared to others or how I didn’t have the ‘perfect looks’ and how I didn’t aspire to become a super-rich person as I initially thought I had to do when I had some ideas earlier on in my life of becoming a financial advisor and follow through that same kind of lifestyle that I saw others were aspiring or already having around me.

The greatest thing from this all is that I could see people through the façade, through the amount of money in their wallets or awaiting for them through their family, and I got to see who they really were as fellow teenagers, struggling with the same peer-pressure that we all collectively created towards one another and that it would only be through a directive decision within ourselves to ‘let go’ of those superficial values to really establish a point of equality, a common ground – even if not ‘in its totality’ – at least as a way to establish a consideration towards others and not just focus on ‘oneself.’

Who knows, this might also in my case be a result of having been in a Jesuit school that did inculcate some of those ‘serving others’ principles in various practical ways, which I am sure my peers also got to learn from and I realize that as much as I had initially despised the whole ‘set up’ in that school, I got to test myself in very specific ways in there when it comes to being in the midst of how elitism is brewed, inculcated and ‘knitted’ through relationships that begin in a simple place such as a classroom and how they build up to become the very people and relationships that later on stand interconnected in leadership positions in businesses, politics and schooling systems which continue shaping these specific circles of concentrated power from generation to generation.

So, what can I learn from this? What is the actual key to start ‘rewiring’ the fabric of our unequal society? It’s definitely not going to be through expecting people in elitist positions to sacrifice their benefits. My friend always let me know that he wanted to do good but of course with also getting his big piece of the cake along with it all, and I found this as acceptable because I knew that him and people like him would never give up the privileges that they have for the benefit of the majority. However there was an emergence of a consideration to not be so ‘obsessive’ about power, to create some modesty and moderation around it while also considering something that is beneficial or for ‘the greater good’ and that being linked to a purpose in his life. This is the last thing I got to know of from him some years ago when I last saw him after several years of having last been together in high school. And the key here is to understand what he decided to go through in order to ‘moderate’ his very ingrained ‘power-seeking’ ways, and that was linked to a personal process where he saw himself devoid of purpose in life, going to therapies to ‘seek the meaning of life’ and assisting himself with regular visits to psychologists, it’s commendable that he sought his ways.

It was then that I understood how maybe people like him are more common than I thought, people that may ‘have it all’ but still seek a meaning to their lives or lose a ‘sense’ for their lives even though anyone else would crave to be in their financial position as well. He didn’t stop having some political and business aspirations at a bigger scale, but those aspirations included doing something that’s beneficial for people, creating something of quality and common good that gives him sufficient money to live well off, but at the same time without leaving others aside from his plan. And I consider that this is the kind of self-change that we can encourage within each other whenever we have an opportunity to do so, through personal example in our relationship with others.

I’d like to think that I may have influenced his potential to see outside of the box he had been entirely geared to and consider greater benefits, but ultimately that would be my own self-interest speaking. I frankly have not established any contact with him as of late, but I made a deal with him that if he’d become part of the local politics as some of his family members did, that he’d call me to create some social projects to assist people in learning more about themselves, their mind, their ability and capacity to live better within themselves, while also considering ways in which people can both contribute economically to a society and benefit directly from the fruit of that cooperation, without the fear of losing a job, without the ‘barely making it through’ experience and limitation. That’s yet to be seen J but hey! at least I had the idea and he got to know how serious I was with all that I dedicate my life to.

Therefore, I consider we have a great lesson to share here, me and in the name of that friend of mine where we both had to step aside from our social/economic conditioning in order to find the common ground and a middle ground as well where I am not ‘battling against’ people in higher social statuses or continually criticizing them as reckless and egotistical, because I also got to be aware of how it takes hard work to build any long-lasting successful business and so, long-lasting source of money as well. The problem is surely when a never-quenching thirst for money/power and control ensues in an individual and that’s where the personal moderation and measure comes in, and that can only be a very individual decision that maybe each one of us could influence or affect through sharing stories like this or decisions we’ve made within ourselves to stop defining ‘who we are’ through the amount or ‘value’ of things we own, or what we dress or look like or the amount of money we have in our bank accounts – while also stopping ‘fighting’ against a perceived ‘reckless’ elite, but instead find ways to cooperate, one by one, to stop the antagonism and rather use each one’s strengths to collaborate and create a more sustainable system where we can forge win-win solutions.

This is then how I’ve also decided to no longer fuel that personality that stands as an apparent ‘victim’ at the hands of the ‘all powerful ones,’ because once you get to know people like that, you can’t really keep up a straight face and not acknowledge their effort, their focus and dedication to get what they have. Ultimately, we are all equally responsible for the way that we currently function and operate in the system, we cannot blame others that were clever enough and possibly had some intrinsic ‘wiring’ to think in business-terms while some of us were more ‘slow’, ‘detached’ and judgmental when it comes to money, because of not understanding it as a life-enabler but still seeing it as an ‘evil’ that we had to get rid of, which is something I surely will still have to work on in my own life in order to equalize myself to money in all ways, to use it in a way that can benefit more people and at the same time dissolve any remnant of ‘inferiority’ and ‘superiority’ based on my past experiences in certain social-circles and situations where the ‘money factor’ was a source of inferiority for me.

And this, my friends, is precisely what I see we all are aware of, we all can ‘feel it’ and ‘be it’ at a very silent agreement, this intrinsic inequality and separation that we’ve created toward one another through the eyes of money, of social status, of ‘positions’ in society with our peers, in our day to day lives and with new people we meet.

So! That’s where focusing on who we are as equals, getting past the notions of money, status, richness and poverty comes in – without fighting it or desiring it – but instead understanding the current consequence in which we all are currently existing in within this ‘monopoly game’ that we can also one by one and so collectively start recreating into an ‘Equapoly’ game and learn to use each other’s’ strengths to cooperate in creating a more best for all scenario in terms of our world economy; it is possible, and I’ve just shared how it boils down to the very kind of relationships and people and purpose that we decide to cultivate within our lives and so in our societies.

Let’s never underestimate the power that standing by principles has even in the face of the seemingly ‘stubborn and righteous’, we all have that same potential to wake up and change, starting with and focusing on ourselves first and living forgiveness towards others and our consequences, learning to work together and focusing on doing and creating what’s best for all.

Thanks for reading.

 

 Equapoly

Image by Joe Kou for EqualMoney.Org

 

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436. Lack of Money in Dream

Last night I had a dream where I would be aware of having only a 200 pesos bill in my pocket, that being the last money left with me at the time. I was with my family in a restaurant and I would still be quite sure about being able to pay for the bill, or at least help with some money. I would notice how I was very aware of what everyone was asking and in one moment I would see my partner taking the offer drinking ‘some’ of my father’s beverage, and all I could consider in that moment is how one drink cost a quarter of the 200 pesos, and because he would drink the whole thing in 3 seconds I would get so angry at him for being inconsiderate, for not realizing that then my father would have to get another drink and then it would take all the money away.

The shocking point however is how I reacted towards my partner in such situation which involved a lot of cursing and flipping fingers and generally wanting him to feel bad or notice that ‘he had done an inconsiderate thing’ by drinking that. Yet, right after I would be in my own possession towards him in that moment I would realize how I had not said or done any of that to him before, and realized that the damage was done: I could not revert back to a moment before all of that where I could have stopped myself from justifying my anger at him and the situation.  In my dream I realized how things could spiral out from there on, on how I had been essentially so disrespectful toward him in that moment, breaking into ‘uncharted territory’ from there on due to allowing myself to express myself to him that way. I felt regretful as well.

I woke up with this experience of ‘being angry at him’ lol, but of course I brought myself back to earth and realized it was MY dream, my creation and so what exists in my mind and what could possibly be a reality if I allowed it to become just that. It frightened me, because I saw how in one moment so many consequences would ensue and even if right after I wished I ‘hadn’t done that/said that’ it was done, truly felt regret yet of course in the dream I didn’t go into analyzing the situation. So here I go.

First of all it seems odd how if I knew I had little money left, still try and go to restaurants or even attempt to invite others and pay the bill for it. This is a point of defined ‘empowerment’ as well where I have enjoyed doing this with my family and having the ability to ‘invite them’ as well, which to me it just makes sense considering the many times they have invited me as well. However obviously, if I was in such precarious situation as in having little to no money left, I would not go out to restaurants, not pretend I can manage. I can see there’s the point of ego as ‘pride’ in maybe wanting to hide the fact that ‘I’m broke’ at their eyes yet be tense throughout the whole situation, because I would not have wanted to be in the position to have to spend more just because of adding one last drink to the bill.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define an experience of going out to restaurants and invite others as in paying the bill myself as ‘empowering’ and something I gladly do, wherein I would then prevent myself from being open and clear to others about my financial situation and explain why I cannot attend to a restaurant or pay for the bill due to having little to no money left, which is what I see makes sense to do in such situations and not have the ‘restaurant’ or reunion be centered around ‘going out’ but family reunions and ‘going outs’ don’t always have to relate to eating out/ paying somewhere to eat/drink something while it could be done at home as well, this is in consideration to  be considerate of  money spending when there are no sources of income, and not perceive it as a ‘missing out’ or a ‘lesser’ experience if I cannot afford something any longer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to slightly charge the experience within me of being able to afford paying a meal in a restaurant for others and myself, which is a point of perceived ‘empowerment’ which certainly can be done when there is sufficient money and income, however if one’s situation changes, adjustments have to be made and such kind of unnecessary expenses have to be cut, instead of me trying to ‘keep the show going’ at the eyes of others, while knowing well in the situation in the dream that I was compromising my ‘last moneys’ in order to give a pleasure/moment to others to enjoy, or what I perceive to be ‘enjoyment’ or expressing some kind of ‘gratefulness’, when in fact enjoyment and gratefulness can be expressed in so many other ways that don’t involve having to ‘go out to restaurants’ only as what I’ve lived throughout my life within the family scenario.

In this it is to realize that it is not limiting myself when no longer being able to afford such things if having no income, but rather be considerate about the situation instead of wanting to ‘pull it through’ and compromising my basic livelihood.

Another aspect here is how I allowed myself to get to that point of only having 200 pesos on my pocket. It is interesting because in the morning today I saw this picture on social media about how if you have 10 dollars in your bank account, you have more than the 75% of the world, which is ridiculous that we’ve allowed ourselves to get to this point of most of the world living in poverty while being in a world that sufficiently caters for everyone.  So there are various factors that lead to having no money, but within my personal situation and environment/context, it IS possible to make money therefore here within the dream context and as a possible scenario that exists in all of our lives

10 dollars

 

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to get to a position of poverty, which is a form of disregard, lack of self responsibility, apathy, not putting myself out there in terms of knocking doors and looking at the many possibilities that still exist in this world to make money, having no judgment to particular activities or job situations, but realizing that I cannot allow myself to get to such point of seeing ‘the last drops’ of my money go and do nothing about it, therefore

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to neglect my financial situation of my dream and take that into consideration within my current experience where I am living of savings and definitely require to make sure I don’t spend money unnecessarily or waste it in ‘going outs’ that are not really necessary for me to ‘live.’ In this

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to slowly but surely allow the ‘fear of ending with no money’ to be in the back of my head and creeping in as a constant ‘variable’ in my day to day situations, wherein I can see that it can affect the way that I live and interact with others, which should NOT be so, because in this it is about me first establishing clear accounting with myself, looking at what is it that is essentially needed, the basic points of livelihood that I require to cover in joint expenses and take responsibility for that part that corresponds to me. In this I realize that I do have to ‘give up’ more unnecessary expenses not because of ‘fearing’ not having money, but simply being realistic about current financial situation and ensuring I am not placing myself in a dire situation just because of ‘squandering’ the current possibilities.

And ultimately in this, what matters is that I would not have to ‘restrain’ myself in all aspects if I start creating other possibilities for income as well, which is where I have to move myself to and start planning where and how I can continue making money to live without worrying about ‘eventually depleting my source of money’ and this is my point of self responsibility.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become angry, tense, anxious, absolutely possessed with the miser experience at the same time when judging what my partner did in the dream about the drink and blame him as ‘inconsiderate’ when in fact that was me only venting and exerting my own neglect, lack of consideration and responsibility to my own life, my own financial situation and in this realizing that there are moments where bit by bit I start getting ‘stingy’ about money due to not having a continuous source of income.

In this I see that the financial aspect when sharing expenses with another and at the same time when placing oneself in this ‘comfortable’ position with money and then having that ‘comfort’ point change to a position of precariousness can change the way we behave toward others and essentially ‘the worst of us’ can come out when in that survival mode.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be so ashamed of myself in that moment when realizing what I had done as in doing all the cursing, yelling, flipping fingers and venting out my own anger towards another, because in the ‘shame’ of course we don’t see the actual starting point of it all, which is how in that dream situation I allowed myself to get to that position of ‘having the last drop’ of money and doing nothing at all about it, which is unacceptable and it is unacceptable that I would dare to see another as ‘the problem’ in that moment, which is such a common way to miss out MY responsibility in it all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define me as someone that is ‘unconditional’ when it comes to ‘sharing’ which means sharing of my money when paying something for others and link this to a ‘sign of appreciation’ when it is part of the programming at home where any given money was to be considered a sign of love, appreciation, gratitude, care and even recognition as a ‘prize’ for doing something ‘good’,  when in fact these words mean so much more than just ‘money’ and can be lived in so many more ways than just ‘giving money’ or ‘paying’ things for others.

I realize that if I do enjoy being able to live in a comfortable manner and even at times be able to ‘share it with others’, then there’s two options: either I get a sufficient source of income to continue doing this in a moderate manner, or rather explain my situation, stop compromising myself and rather live these words as care, love, appreciation, gratitude towards others not by ‘paying’ for things or ‘inviting out’ but rather by assisting them in their lives in what I consider I can, such as sharing or providing some personal support, be with them in times when we can chat/ be up to date with each other, do something together that doesn’t require any consumption of sorts or ‘going outs’ as in eating out etc. and so also challenge that programming that has been so ingrained throughout my life in terms of ‘going to restaurants’ and seeing that as a point of luxury, comfort and ways to interact with others better, because in reality, I first have to assess the financial situation in order to fulfill such ‘ideals’ and if it is not possible, then rather redefine the ‘gatherings’ to something else, where I have also come to realize that it is part of those ‘illusions’ I’ve hold on to as if they were part of ‘my lifestyle’ throughout my life, but I do know of people that would rarely ever do this in their lives and could live without it, which enabled me to see how I have conditioned myself to believe this is part of the ‘rites’ of socializing, when it doesn’t have to be the ‘only’ way to go out and socialize in any case.

Last Sunday for example instead of going out to a restaurant, we rather went to eat at my parents’ house and spend much less money by doing so than keeping the ‘outings’ program in place, and it was as enjoyable as well because the interaction and ‘getting together’ shouldn’t be defined by ‘what one eats’ or ‘where’ and ‘how much it costs’ at all, when the same can be done/prepared/cooked with much less money anyways.

In this I recognize that it is not like I will say NO to all outings in restaurants, but certainly be much more moderate about it and be considerate of not squandering money within such habit.  Which leads me to the point of how I was also justifying these expenses in saying that ‘I am in turn also supporting the economy in my locality’ and assisting others to ‘get a better wage’ with going to places and leaving tips and whatnot, however this is ‘ok’ if one has the money to do it, but it is silly to compromise one’s own livelihood just to keep ‘benefiting others’ and be left with nothing oneself.

And then comes the anger point which I mean, I have talked about it many, many times. And it was cool to face this rather uncomfortable and – to say the least – regrettable situation in my dream where my own lack of responsibility to my financial situation led me to essentially ruin or if not create a faux pas with my partner in doing something that I immediately regretted to have been said and done toward him. It really sucked the moment that in the dream I realized: what have you done? You can’t go back and undo that, he will forever remember this that you just did and said to him. And this has to do with previous situations where I also allowed myself to be possessed in certain situations also due to familiar contexts and traditions or ‘politics’ that my partner would not be used to, and that I essentially blew things out of proportion against him at the very beginning of our relationship and only later on did I admit to see that it was My ‘religion’ of how things should be that was the problem, and how I did not communicate about it beforehand and how I made it such a big deal in my mind and exerted that anger toward him as well. That was talked about and it took me to recognize my own ‘religion’ of what I believed he should have done that caused the problem, while him also admitting to aspects of his participation to work with, which has actually worked fine.

However in the dream due to the financial ‘strain’ and situation I was in and not communicating about it with others, but keep it to myself and just ‘venting out’ the consequence of my problem, I would create another rift in my relationship with others because of this precarious situation I created for myself.

When waking up and realizing I was carrying the experience of the dream, I cleared myself up by forgiving myself for having allowed myself to get so angry at my partner in the dream, for judging him for generally ‘drinking things too fast’ because I equate this to ‘money’ only, and in general create this scenario in the dream to test myself ‘who would I be’ in such situation of poverty.

So, what I could see is that surely being in that ultimate state of having almost no money left at all, does make one go into ‘overdrive’ in survival, which can be by all means first of all prevented. However the point of ‘instant possession’ upon living the consequences is also preventable, wherein in the dream I could have taken a moment to stabilize myself, not keep feeding the ‘fears of not having money’ or the judgments on how anything eaten/drank equated to more money on the bill and so becoming angry at consuming in itself, and so preventing me from getting so possessed in this rage, anger about money that one can say or do things that one will regret a moment afterward. I have to remind myself that no matter how ‘difficult’ a situation might be, I cannot blame others for it, I cannot use another as a ‘punching bag’ for it and seeing others as ‘the problem’ when in fact it is all self-created.

In an ultimate situation if I had to walk the ‘aftermath’ of that situation in the dream, I would explain my own anger about my situation, how I didn’t take responsibility for my experience and allowed myself to exert it out and ask for forgiveness to the other person, after having forgiven myself for being so neglectful towards myself and my personal responsibility in relation to money. It is also interesting that even if it was ‘just a dream’ I could not just see it as ‘just that’ because it felt such a real possibility for me in all aspects that I considered the importance of aligning this point so that I can prevent most of the situation by changing definitions of ‘outings’ with others from now on, in relation to family gatherings, going out for the sake of ‘paying for others and supporting them through my consumption’ and rather be realistic about my financial situation.

In this I realize that it is not a ‘missing out’ because one defines what one makes of any situation or experience, so I stop defining ‘comfort’ and ‘pleasure’ and ‘gratitude’ and ‘enjoyment’ and even ‘sharing’ with others just through what money can do. And many times to be honest the process of ‘going out’ becomes more of a ritual than an actual enjoyment, so I can decide to suggest other ways and even ‘change the ways’ that it usually goes wherein we can all save up money and realize that it is not always necessary to spend in order to show care or live enjoyment or any other aspect like that.

So what can I learn from the dream in retrospect is: how to prevent getting to a point of lacking money, how to prevent myself from affecting my relationships with others by remaining in a position of ‘pride’ and not seek out for ways to make money or support from others, how to stop defining experiences of ‘empowerment’ related to money only, how to live appreciation, care, joy, gratefulness and sharing in ways that don’t involve ‘paying’ for something to someone else as an ‘expression of care’ because I can decide to change that, how I can prevent myself from blaming others and getting in an exertion of my own anger towards myself and use others as my ‘valve of escape’ for that emotional experience.

Ultimately of course we should prevent ALL of humanity from ever having to be in a precarious situation, of having no money/no food/ no shelter and having no possible way to get an income and step out of survival mode. We need to guarantee everyone’s wellbeing if we want to prevent people getting possessed in such a dysfunctional mind state of accumulated problems and experiences related to money that lead to the worst of the worst in our society: from mental illness, to domestic violence, addictions, blaming governments and neglecting our personal and collective responsibility in this system.

In relation to the comment, We can make a difference if we all place ourselves in the shoes of situations like the one that ¾ of the population in this world are living in and decide to stop creating obstacles for us to live in a dignified manner, it really starts with us and empowering each other not only with money, but with skills and abilities to be able to contribute back into society and so be genuinely proud of creating a world we can live in without worries of ever going poor again, it’s up to us to remove for every person that possibility of only having 10 dollars in their pockets or even only ‘a bit more’ of that, no one wants to live in such poverty, so why should we allow the majority of this world do go through that?

 

Please check out this great series that supports with this process:

Making Do With Less – The Soul of Money

https://eqafe.com/p/making-do-with-less-the-soul-of-money

 

 

Learn more about this and Join in:

 


304. You Are What You Can Afford

 

Who decided to put a number in front of Life? Is that the real mark of the Beast? the Fruit of our Evil? The price to pay for our sins? A lesson to be learned?

Continuing from :

For context on redefining capitalism, read: Day 180: The Word ‘Capitalism’ in ‘Equal Money Capitalism Redefined

 

Redefining CAPITALISM

Capitalism is an economic system that is based on private ownership of capital goods and the means of production, and the creation of goods and services for profit.[1][2] Elements central to capitalism include capital accumulation, competitive markets, and a price system.[3]

source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capitalism

 

 

Pricing System

You might remember your first acknowledgement of what money is through looking at prices as a child and this being the decisive factor to know how much money your parents had, what you were able to afford and what type of living ‘lifestyle’ you had access to.  This is the closest encounter with the ‘money system,’ probably the easiest one to understand and the easiest one to accept ‘as is’ without further questions.

I remember being given money on a weekly basis as a means to create the habit of saving, and I was pretty good at it because I simply didn’t require to spend it. Money in such a way was no different to the loads of fake bills that I had to play with as a child, it was only when going to the grocery store that you confront the ‘pricing system’ for the first time. The money  I had was really not that much to buy all that I would want to, and so I became aware of what it was like to have a ‘lot of money’ which meant having the ability to buy Lots of things, instead of having to choose and be limited by getting only one thing or two.

Then comes the supermarket experiences wherein you want to get something that is not precisely a need – like your cereal, milk and fruit – but a Want: I wanted this toy and learned to see these ‘exorbitant numbers’ as ‘unable to be afforded/ too expensive/ don’t even think about it.’ And so, I learned to stop asking to buy such products from the get go, I would see more than 3 digits on the price and I knew t was simply unthinkable for me to have it.

Desires began forming about money: All that I could buy if I had all the amount of money I wanted, I could buy looots of things and enjoy myself with it. But, unfortunately, I learned that I could Not have access to that as easy as I could dream of: one had to study, become a worker, escalate in social status to be able to earn more and more to then become part of the elite that I saw could afford just the amount of things I thought was my ‘aim’ to obtain as well – this was the pursuit of happiness linked to money here, which would allow me to be ‘free’ and ‘enjoy life’ without limits. Smell the conditioning here?

 

Comparison began taking place: why can’t we afford that other family’s lifestyle? What do they have that we don’t have? And then even worse things became part of my awareness: there were children begging for money on the streets and often pondered what would they be able to afford with such amount of money? – not much, that’s for sure. That’s where I learned that I had a ‘better life’ than those begging on the streets and I have a ‘lesser of a lifestyle’ when comparing my life and my family’s economic station to that of the super rich with gigantic houses and multiple toys – of course since that was my item of comparison at the time.

Inequality was tattooed as an inherent condition to everything. Life was then not seen as Life but as something with a price tag, without ever having seen Mother Earth precisely doing the price-tagging or the bar-coding and charging interest rates for that or scheming how she could ‘get the most’ by setting the higher prices… no, none of that was able to be seen around me.

 

I learned that my education was ‘big numbers’ in price as well, I learned that my books were expensive, that renewing my uniform as I went growing up would take money, that food prices would constantly go up every year, that I had to ‘always seek for the cheapest price’ when being at the store and call it a convenience and refrain from even looking at some other ‘treats’ just because they were mostly expensive and not really nutritional. I got scarcity and lack imprinted within me as ‘who I am toward money.’ And prices became a compulsive manner to measure myself according to the cheap and the expensive, the poor and the rich and being always in the limbo that seeks for cheap deals while walking a life aiming at being able to ‘afford it all’ as an ultimate dream. Life became a series of dreams to attain such high power of acquisition later on in my life, and this reveals to what extent ‘consumerism as life’ became the ‘measuring point’ for ‘who we are’ within our social system.

 

In essence, I’ve lived a life wherein I got used to being ‘price-conscious’ according to what I am able to afford and what I would like to be able to afford. Every decision moved by fear of not having enough money later on, every choice made based on the eternal dilemma of price vs. quality, the kingdom of god was simply never on sale, and we certainly were not equal at all. Even if I tried to pretend that I didn’t care as much for what I was able to afford , it did shape ‘who I am’ according to others and this sense of injustice became an unspoken anger to see people begging for scraps of food because of them not even having access to a proper job to afford basic needs while I could see others spending obnoxious quantities in clothes, cars and useless things that could pay an entire month of someone’s school.

 

My first great shock with the ‘pricing system’ was when I was 9 years old in what was then a ‘big city,’ we went to ‘check out’ a luxurious clothing store, I remember randomly grabbing the price tag of a shirt and discovering it was as expensive as my monthly school fee at the time, or even more. I could not believe my eyes, in that moment I realized that there was something absolutely Wrong in this world: how could a single shirt be worth an entire family’s sustenance for an entire week or a month, who knows! This event allowed me to see and realize one thing: I was not part of the rich that would regularly buy at this store, and their wealth – I got told – was the ‘product of their hard labor.’ But is it? Not really.

 

This is an introduction to the pricing system, the confrontation of one’s power of acquisition in a world wherein one gets a direct realization of our social position according to the amount of money that we have, we are either rich, poor or middle class, you live in abundance, you starve or struggle to always make it through with the amount you have. You can either feel free and relaxed or oppressed and worried in the shopping experience according to the numbers in the items you require to buy, either for need or pleasure, it is all determined by our pricing system, essentially who can afford to live and who can’t. Is this the way we want to continue existing as? No, of course this is an absolute demarcation of individuals and their ability to live, a full-view of discrimination and speculation everywhere and every time that we require money to buy, to live.

 

Our life within this system can have a price, and we’ve believed this to be ‘true’ since money has become the decisive factor to enable or limit one’s ability to live. But life is certainly priceless and money is a social imaginary convention that should not exist as a means to measure your ‘economic status’ as more or less than, but as a collective agreement to support each other as Life, as Equals – and this is what will certainly give an end to everyone’s lives of scarcity, fear of losing money, fear of not having enough to live, fear of having to resort to getting loans and ending up enrolled in endless debts, fear of missing out on ‘the great life’ just because we can’t afford to miss a day’s salary, fear of not ever having the life of your dreams because somehow t is not affordable to all.

This must end, this whole social conditioning must stop here: Equal Money Capitalism 

to be continued…

 

 

For further reference, read  the Equal Money Wiki

Creative-Potential-is-Priceless_thum

 

Blogs to Understand More about Reality:

 

Tales on Money :

Eqafe Interviews:


70. ‘Money is My True Desire’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a relationship with money itself as my ultimate desire, love and wish in my reality wherein I have linked the word ‘Money’ to all that which I can Buy, consume and own in order to create a positive experience within me, which I have called ‘empowerment’ linked to a state of ‘happiness’/ success/ fulfillment and joy.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to learn that life is all about getting to this ultimate happiness and success within the society, which is tacitly implying having a lot of money in order to buy a lot of things that can denote that ‘I have money, I am powerful, I am happy, I am fulfilled, I can have everything I want’ – without realizing that I was trained to think this way when linking money as an added-value onto who I am as a human being that is Life in itself already – not realizing that Life is the one and only True-Value in existence.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare my value/wealth as money to others’ wealth/money, and constantly see ‘where I stand’ in relation to other’s money/ wealth, which implies that I can only consider myself as being ‘successful’ if I see myself having More things, owning, continually being able to buy everything that I want as a means to create a positive experience within me, as a sense of empowerment and success over others.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make decisions in life in relation to my studies, my career, my relationships in accordance to ‘who I want to be’ as the amount of money I want to have, which means that I am only existing For Money, for that Success and elusive Happiness that, due to how I have been brainwashed to think that happiness = consuming/ buying/ owning/ possessing all I want, need and desire, I require a Lot of Money to achieve that, which is how I have placed myself to do everything I can in order to get that much money to fulfill my desire, without realizing that in this logical assumption that I have missed the entire point of Myself as Life of Equality and Oneness as the one and only real value in this world –  but instead have diminished ‘living’ and ‘my life’ to only Living-For-Money, to create and fulfill my desires and positive experiences.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define Money as a positive word due to all the images I have linked to it as owning, buying, consuming everything that I can in order to have a ‘great life experience,’ within this accepting that my ‘beingness’ is defined according to the amount of money I have/ own, as a determinant factor of who I am, what I do, who I am toward others and how I compare myself to others in society, because this is what I have learned to be and become: a person that is fighting and striving to ‘make it’ in this like, with ‘making it’ signifying getting a lot of money in order to have All that ‘I’ Want – without ever questioning if this attainment is even possible for those that have nothing to eat and are deliberately secluded from this ‘choice’ in life by our own acceptance and allowance of money as separation from who we are as life.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define Money as a negative thing whenever I Don’t have any money, which is when I start questioning WHY I can’t have money given to me unconditionally, why is money not given to all beings in order to have a dignified living – within this realizing that: as long as I have money = I only care to augment my own capital/ money/ wealth and attain more and more and more until I am saturated with the most money I can make in my every day living – and when I have No Money, I feel miserable, I feel ostracized, rejected, doomed, see everything dismal and with anger because I cannot have what Others have, wherein the example of the rich/ wealthy stand as that ultimate desire that is simply denied to me by the world-system, without realizing that we have all collectively agreed to make of this money system a grace and a disgrace for humanity according to the access each one has to Money.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that whenever I see myself worrying about money, thinking about money, wanting and desiring money, I am in fact accepting the premise of money not being a tool given to all to live, but has become the very reason and purpose of my every day living as a motivation to live, wherein I have absolutely forgotten Who and What I am as Life/ Living of oneness and equality, because money has become our very separation from that absolute wholeness that we could in fact live in/as if we all collectively agreed that Money can be a Tool to provide, give and share to one another that which is here of the Earth in order to LIVE a wholeness of life as Equals.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take Life for Granted whenever I am only existing as this desire and constant search for Money as that experience of fulfillment, happiness, bliss, completion without realizing that it is all based on a consumerist society wherein even if I have enough to eat, to live well and comfortably, I am seeking MORE as that is what I have defined as ‘Success’ and ‘Happiness’ – wherein I go day by day comparing myself to the lives of other human beings in order to see ‘who I am’ according to the money that I have and the money that I see others have.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior to others if I see that they have a lot of money which I have then defined as them being happy, fulfilled, satisfied with themselves as a synonym of ‘wholeness’ without realizing that the only wholeness that can exist is as the totality of this world, as LIFE itself that we have controlled, diminished and made an object of desire when equated to money within a monetary system that does not grant equal-access to Life by virtue of Living – this implies that who I am in relation to others exists as the separation that I have accepted and allowed as my self-definition according to the money that I have and that I compare myself to others according to the amount of money they own and I have.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define me as either poor/ middle-class/ rich as ‘Who I Am’ because of having accepted myself to be defined to one single point in my reality as Money which determines my survival, my desires of wanting More and seeking to be ‘fulfilled’ through and as money, wherein all that I seek is to constantly being able to Buy myself Experiences that I have linked to joy, happiness, success, completion, fulfillment, satisfaction as the ability to buy, own and consume everything that I can with the power I have given away when separating myself from Life into and as the acceptance of the current monetary system as Capitalism.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to visually associate Money with everything in my reality, even my physical body, as I have come to accept the fact that organs of the physical body have a price as well as hair, selling pregnancy hosting, the image of my physical body, blood, semen, fetuses and other bodily parts and functions that can be sold, including sexual services that a body can provide which are also due-to and part of the same necessity that we’ve made ourselves dependent on as Money.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that within accepting money as my ultimate desire, I am neglecting the fact that all I am consuming is Myself in the name of a positive experience that I have linked to a single Idea, belief and concept of happiness, satisfaction and completion according to that which I have been taught and learned throughout my life wherein all that I know is that ‘I need money to live’ and in that single acceptance, directing my entire life, my choices, my drive to live for and as the desire of money, forgetting about who I am as Life in its totality.

 

I realize, see and understand that in order to stop defining myself as this ‘desire for money,’ I have to walk a process wherein I stop placing value in separation of myself as the things I buy, consume and own as a positive experience and an ‘accumulation of worth’ as ‘who I am,’ which is realizing that all the power I have embedded to money itself is a fake-value system, a make-believe system of ‘worth’ in separation of Life which is what and who I am as all as one and equal – which means that my desire for money is currently ‘real’ as long as we continue accepting and allowing the same capitalist monetary system where a ‘Successful Living’ is only linked to Money.

 

I realize, see and understand that this idea of money as a ‘moreness’ of myself, as this positive experience is in fact a product of the brainwashing that I have lived in as this current system wherein Life can only ‘thrive’ if having money, without having ever questioned why such money was not readily-given as a birth right, which implies that money in itself is a system of desires as the separation from ourselves as Life into a system of control/ power that promotes greed for its own continuation and survival, without ever questioning how the abuse in this world as the inability to have access to money/ poverty/ starvation and all the abusive jobs that are ‘the last resort’ to get money for the majority of the world, are in fact the abusive means that are used in order to create/ manifest the ideal of wealth and ‘fulfillment’ as a real inequality that is visible in our society –  I see and realize now that money is a make-believe system that only benefited a minority while having a majority with no access or in a constant survival-mode wherein one is pushed and forced to do ‘anything for money’ which includes activities and actions that clearly denigrate our own physical body, life itself into an absolute depletion of life, due to our accepted and allowed sectarian elitist monetary system that is only at the service of a few as those with money in the world.

 

I commit myself to stop my constant need, desire and yearning for ‘all the money in the world’ wherein the acceptance of a ‘millionaire’ is no longer part of my daydreaming desires as an image and picture of myself as being ‘eternally happy and satisfied with myself’ as I realize that in doing so, I am tacitly agreeing and accepting the abuse, the poverty, starvation and all forms of life degradation in the name of my dream, my desire, my positive experience, which is how and why I have to now take Responsibility for what I have done, what I have become

 

I commit myself to within stopping myself within this constant desire to buy, consume, own and Experience life through and as what I can buy into as happiness/ success/ fulfillment – I take responsibility for walking my own process to realize the absurdity of having separated ourselves from who we are as Life of Oneness and Equality and in that, commit myself to be part of the people in the world that create a New World System based on the recognition and realization of who we are as Life as One and Equal – which means that a New Monetary System must be in place, which is the Equal Money System, wherein we stop being bound to the One System that Rules us All as a belief-system of abuse, and turn money into a tool to give and receive life as equals, as we all realize that we all want to have a comfortable life, the best possible education, food, housing, the most suitable transportation, entertainment that is in support of who we are as Life, and that can only exist if I first Stop my participation within the current monetary system of abuse – in all its inner workings – and transform myself to stand as the necessary change in the meaning of who I am not as a ‘person that desires money to live’ but a person that stands as the worth/value of life itself, which is the only value I really am and exist as – within the realization that we had trapped ourselves in a make-believe system of separation of who we are as life into a form of control, discrimination and ‘power over life’ that was never real in itself, but was ‘made real’ according to how we complied and obeyed to it as the only way to ‘continue living,’ which is unacceptable and must be obviously changed in the name of Life as who we are as Equals.

 

Educate yourself at Desteni

Equal Money System

 

Walk with our process of “worthing” ourselves as Life and stopping our own consumerist brainwash – Read Journey to Life blogs

We can stop existing as DEBT if we all Agree that we can give LIFE to each other as Equals

 

This blog is a continuation of the exploration of Money as a Word and Concept in separation of Life itself:

Blogs for Mind-debunking:

 

Interviews:

The One System that Rules us All
Reptilians – The Power of One Word – Part 58

 

equal money system - money for all as life


Day 9: Politeness

I’ve been having in the back of my head how I developed the survival system of behaving politely/ in a socially acceptable manner since I was a little child. This is mostly to how I was raised by my parents and other socioeconomical factors that have created definitive ‘marks’ on who I am as my behavior.

 

The image that comes to my mind is a picture that I saw once in my photo album from my first years alive and I am placing a napkin hanging from the collar of my t-shirt with a rather righteous/haughty/ fancy look and my mother is next to me looking at the camera. Another one is a picture of me with a paper-made crown sitting on a sofa, like a ‘throne’ for a queen when I was just 2 and a half years old; there’s another one of me sinking my hands in a bucket of water while my then nanny is crouching down and looking at me, probably warning me about getting all wet and that I should not sink all my arms into the bucket of water that was probably as tall as my waist line. My father’s car is in the background which means I wanted to clean it just the way he does, I was only 3 years old then. There’s also pictures of me having these huge headphones and sitting next to a tape recorder while having my mouth open, which means I was singing. Well, all those points developed into defined personalities such as being always holding a napkin on my hand while eating as a symbol of ‘proper manners’ and eating behavior, being a cleanliness freak, being a ‘music lover’ and being a self-righteous ego on two feet within a sense of having some domain or specialness in me. And I was only 2 to 3 years old in all of those photos.

 

So this point came up as something to write about when listening to some interviews today in relation to observing behavior, which is one dimension that I have not fully delved into looking myself as behavior linked to the personalities that I developed throughout the years. I tested out a word to write about today and ‘manners’ came up which is then how this whole point opened up.

 

Being polite is one of the main ‘characteristics’ and behavior that I play out when being with people and ‘in public,’ and the image of my father playing to be a polite soldier comes up, actually my mother would call me something like little tin soldier when I was a little girl, which probably explains a lot as well. Okay but not to deviate from the point. My father would always let us know to ‘be still!’ and basically both my parents educated us in such a way that we would act like little grown up people.

 

This politeness got imprinted ‘heavily’ later on from when I was 6-7 years when socializing with my parents friends whom I perceived as ‘more than’ because of essentially having quite a lot of money and having these huge houses and living in cool residential areas that I would enjoy going to play to. In that, I would perceive such world as everyone being ‘polite’ – which is how I’ve linked it to being ‘political’ in the character/way of being that politicians act like, which is basically focusing on presenting a particular façade to play safe all the time when being in public.

 

‘Keeping a good image’ was something also induced by my mother, hers was mostly in the ‘expressive’ aspect of watching my mouth and not being ‘impertinent’ when speaking to people –my father focused on the physical behavior, like telling us to sit properly and crouching down to always pull up my socks and ensuring my shoes are clean. I’m laughing because of how much I simply accepted that as ‘normal’ and that’s why I had such a hard time interacting with other kids because they didn’t give a fuck about manners and being polite or getting their clothes dirty – so I developed a judgmental experience toward anyone that ‘would not be polite’ = being a regular human being, really.

 

Till this day I’ve caught myself going into a reaction the moment that I perceive that someone is Not being polite as in ‘taking advantage of a position’ – like someone wanting to win a place in the queue for something – or getting one step ahead of me to have a better place while waiting for the train, seemingly ‘unnoticeable events’ wherein I have automated responses of criticizing and judging people because of them not being polite.

 

The points that I’ll be walking and opening up are aspects of myself that I had not opened up for having them as ingrained belief systems that I deemed as ‘positive’ and in that, thinking that I should not bother to look at them, without realizing that there is actually a great part of myself ‘hidden’ behind these seemingly cool attributes that I’ve lived so far. As long as there is an entire indoctrination system behind it, I must investigate it, which means that no matter how ‘cool’ I perceive a point that I’m living to be, I must investigate it to make sure that whatever I am building/ creating and establishing myself here as, is based on actual self-understanding of How I got to be ‘who I am’ at the moment – in such case, how ‘manners’ exist as a belief system charged with a positive experience wherein the ‘negative’ is created the moment that I, through my politeness-filter of reality, judge and criticize everyone that I believe are Not polite and within that Not ‘humanly’ enough to interact with.

 

This means that I’ve created of my ‘politeness’ an elitist system wherein I believe that a well-educated being will have certain attributes that make them consider others before them, a way of perpetual altruism that often evokes a ‘good feeling’ out of it, which means it is an energetic-based personality and not an unconditional expression of self, as a sense of neighborism that is acquired within the basic principle and understanding of What’s Best for All as Equals.

 

I’ll be continuing opening up different aspects and dimensions of this ‘manner’ point as the behaviors ingrained with personalities throughout different stages of my life, which I had not opened up in fear of them being almost ‘self-glorifying’ yet suppressed and still existent within me, which means that every time I suppress it, I am recreating it and accepting it as ‘part of myself/ who I am’ without even noticing it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as ‘politeness’ as a behavioral pattern that I had deemed to be ‘positive’ and ‘good’ for myself within the belief that being polite is an attribute that all people should live by, as that would make our coexistence ‘easier’ in this world, without considering that it is actually only an experience that I have created based on survival as the improved acceptance that a polite person gets within society and certain socieconomical stratus wherein money dictates the education that a person has, and in that, the behavioral patterns that denote a person’s ‘quality of living’ and parental values at home.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give continuation to a behavioral pattern such as ‘having good manners’ from the starting point of revealing/ showing that ‘I am well educated’ and in that, creating an ideal of who I am as ‘my education’ as ‘my family’ and ‘values’ that I have given to a certain behavior wherein I then judge/ criticize anyone that cannot fit into a category of being well-educated/ polite, without realizing how this is a belief system that I have adopted and continued in the name of representing ‘who I am’ as a configuration based on how my parents wanted us to ‘be’ within the social context wherein high-education, manners and ‘values’ are highly regarded, which would ensure our survival and positioning in the world system within a high-stratus in society.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that a person with ‘good manners’ is well educate as a synonym of being ‘a good neighbor’/ good person which implies that I have created my own elitist value schemes toward people according to how I see them through my politeness-filter personality, which implies that I will only ‘mingle’ with those that I perceive as educated, well mannered and polite according to how I was taught I should be/ behave as a little child at home.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a superiority experience within me whenever I see myself being ‘polite’ toward people and getting an ‘instant-gratification’ reward such as being thanked for doing something for another which is then implying that my ‘politeness’ is not an unconditional common sensical expression of and as self, but still an energetic personality that I try to keep up to, without realizing that in this, anything that steps out of my ‘politeness schemes’ I judge and criticize as lower/ inept/ rascal/ savage, without realizing that this is how I have had such an immediate judgmental behavior toward people while interacting in reality, due to how I have been conditioned to believe that polite people are ‘worthy’ and the opposite are ‘unworthy,’ in this

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize how politeness/ well mannered people is linked within my belief system to having enough money and in a certain social position that I have been taught is ‘more valuable’ than someone that is uneducated/impolite/ rascal/ savage according to the judgments that I learned as the way to denote someone that would probably not have enough money to be ‘well educated’ and in that, accepting the point of discriminating people according to the amount of money they would have, while absolutely neglecting and not even considering why on Earth such polarities even exist.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having regarded my parent’s imprinting onto myself as ‘good manners’ as something that I had to be grateful for, without realizing the actual belief system as elitism that I accepted and allowed to exist within me when linking good manners to ‘affluent people’ and bad manners/ impolite people to ‘lower class/ moneyless people’ and in that, creating a positive experience toward ‘fellow polite people’ and a negative experience toward ‘impolite people,’ as well as a neutral experience to people that I would perceive as expression-less within not being decidedly polite or impolite, which would be then linked to undefined within my schemes of human categorization according to education and money.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a sense of comfort and openness as an experience created upon interacting with someone that I perceive and profile as being ‘well educated/ polite’ within the identification of that which I was taught I should be like and aspire to become, which I accepted as a valuable aspect within human beings which lead me to create a positive experience within myself whenever I behave in a ‘polite manner,’ while creating the exact opposite as a negative experience as the immediate profiling of people that I perceive to be savage/ uneducated/ impolite, which I have accepted to discriminate/ judge in my mind while believing that I didn’t want anything to do with such people, creating the ultimate elitist experience based on manners.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that ‘How I behave’ is who I really am.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still perpetuate the ‘ingrained values’ that I acquired at home, that I have kept due to them being seemingly ‘positive attributes’ within my personality, without realizing that it is in these ‘values’ that I have perpetuated the existence of good/ bad, positive and negative as well as neutral experiences toward people according to How I deem them to be within my polite/ impolite schemes, as the manners they present on face value when interacting with people in any given moment.

 

When and as I see myself categorizing someone as polite and creating a positive experience within me toward them, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am accessing my politeness-filter wherein I am valuing and regarding the people as ‘good’ and ‘benevolent’ based on the attitudes and manners that they present. Therefore I realize that I must treat every person equally regardless of how they ‘present’ themselves, as I realize that such manners are a survival-masquerade to remain as ‘worthy’/ ‘valuable’ within a system where money decides who is ‘worthy’ and who is not and seeing good manners as the direct consequences of having money to be well educated, in this creating a positive experience toward people with money.

 

When and as I see myself judging a person as being ‘impolite’/ presenting bad behavior such as ‘bad manners’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am accessing the politeness-personality wherein I am then adjusting my experience to be negative and derogatory toward such being for being seemingly ‘uneducated’ and a ‘rascal’ without considering at all that I am creating such separation based on the link that I’ve created in my mind as ‘bad manners = poor education’ as a symbol to represent lack of money/ being poor, which I have created and associated a negative experience toward.

 

I realize that with me stopping the polite/ impolite judgments toward myself and others, I stop perpetuating the current money system wherein rich/ wealthy creates a positive experience while poverty/ lack of money represents and creates a negative experience, as well as the non-expressive people that I have judged as ‘mediocre’ which are all values I have separated myself from in relation to the same values we have separated ourselves from life through/ as money.

More to come…

 

Blogs of the day:

 

Interview support:

2012: The Secrets of Competition

 

  •  

And God created ‘His Creation’!

  • Got the following comment in one of my videos:

  •  

    • Delusional. You can’t redeem yourself, you didn’t create yourself. You were created by God out of his good pleasure. He provided the perfect sacrifice, Jesus, the unspotted lamb. Satan comes as a spirit of light. Tickling your ears with a lie, anything to lead you to deny Christ and loose salvation that is full and free and not of yourself. Leading others weaker than you into falsehood. If the blind lead the blind they will both fall into a pit. It appears money becomes your god.

      imrnlil

This depicts the mind of a god follower in the following disturbing ways:

1. “Delusional. You can’t redeem yourself, you didn’t create yourself.” 
According to this, I must assume and/or imply that I am not to be blamed for anything that’s currently existent in this world because it is apparently ‘god’s creation’ which is then ‘god’s will’ which must be untouchable, undenied and not judged which is then indicating how people literally ‘turn a blind eye’ on reality because ‘we can’t redeem ourselves’ anyways. This also then points out that  God is the one to blame for this creation and us being but innocent puppets that didn’t have any common sense to not see god moving the strings – though I wonder how delusional such people have to be to not even question how this world is existing in such a fucked-up system without getting any straight answer from GOD, isn’t it?

2.”You were created by God out of his good pleasure.” Oh yes, totally!  A filthy nasty pleasure called ‘benevolence’ equated to cloning itself to have power over other entities which he then could call ‘their creation’ which is nothing else but denigrating anything/anyone to being inferior while building yourself a pedestal on top of them – ehm ehm yes God didn’t take his Equality 101 lesson before creating. Now we know how the ‘godly pleasures’ came to be – being a sybarite fucker that must deceive and cheat on anyone to make more of himself, being nothing but a hedonist that doesn’t give a fuck about creating eternally screwed up people with no opportunity to live in a ‘godly manner’.

Thank you, sir, now I know why I have been built as the ‘image and likeness’ as God’s filthy pleasures which gives me a clear view on how I was created the way I am and how this world is certainly ‘God’s creation’, what  a wonderful view of it. 

3.”He provided the perfect sacrifice, Jesus, the unspotted lamb. “

So this is saying that we required a sacrifice in order to kind of say ‘oh man, there’s a God because Jesus died on the cross! he did it for us!’ and within that accepting roman torture as a form of sacrificing an ‘immaculate lamb’ which implies that someone innocent had to die as proof of God being existent? What the fuck? What kind of sense could that make –  The ‘immaculate lamb’ has to do with some weird symbolism that the buybill uses to keep people generating images that will haunt and taunt people until now. Who’s the real sadist here anyways?

Now, look at the ‘he provided’ point – so: God’s a criminal, a killer, a sniper shooter that wants his sadistic traits to be ennobled as ‘perfect’ acts of commiserating to an enslaved creation. Wow! he certainly had fun.

I mean, if someone can place these two words in one single sentence, you must know there is something perfectly deranged in that person: “perfect sacrifice”.

Need I say more? No – self-evident in all its angles.

 

4.”Satan comes as a spirit of light. Tickling your ears with a lie, anything to lead you to deny Christ and lose salvation that is full and free and not of yourself. “

Well, I wonder why am I to hear this because it seems that such process takes place with people that actually follow the light into believing that by ‘accepting Christ’ they’ve saved their asses and will ass-Send to Heaven when they die. If it is free then I ask thee, dear oh God, why is there money in this world if salvation is free!? Why do churches and all of the plethora of sacraments cost money, how come I am required to be a Christian to be ‘saved’, isn’t ALL in your creation equal, dear God?

Who’s the one menacing to deny me something? the christian god or Satan? Seems the christian god here is the one blackmailing people to keep his followers in place lol, what an absolute bastard yet it’s such a perfect trap that they can’t even see it. This is how they deny themselves the ability to forgive themselves because it is apparently ‘not of yourself’ so why god, oh why did he/she/it create a creation that is eternally flawed and depending on his rule of thumb to be saved or not – wow, who’s the prick here then? God? Satan? At least Satan in the nice fictional stories wanted to prove himself equal to God instead of following an obscene hierarchical system.

5. “Leading others weaker than you into falsehood. If the blind lead the blind they will both fall into a pit. It appears money becomes your god.”

Ok so there’s people that are apparently ‘weaker’ which implies that this God created inherently flawed weak people and inherently pumped-up ‘strong people’ to keep its perfect balance in creation, how cool of you God! Gee I wonder if the same applies to those that were born ‘Rich’ and those that were born ‘Poor’ – awesome God, thanks for sharing with us your fantastic fucked up creation that’s never ending!

I wonder then how this person can’t ask a pertinent question like: ‘Why would all-mighty-perfect-stud god create blind people? why would he create people with retardation, malformations, perpetual diseases that certainly can’t allow people to enjoy ‘god’s kingdoom’ as he apparently ‘intended’ to do, at some point or in some story, maybe –

I can’t deny his last sentence as that’s the most sense this person made in the entire comment: “It appears money becomes your god.” It isn’t an ‘appearance’ though, money has become our god, at least a god that isn’t vaingloriously praising his creation or is personified as a blue eyed guy that women then deny having a crush on – yet it mercilessly decides on who lives and who dies – but OH now I get it! God created money so in fact money is just the image and likeness of God which fool-fills everyone’s tummies and “souls” with God’s spirit, fantastic. This person then is missing a key point of his religion with judging others and not realizing it all has been made as the ‘image and likeness of god’, our beloved creator.

 

Oh dear god what have we done to deserve such brainless followers of yours?

To top and wrap up this christian burrito , I never asked for god’s perspective on my video, I never asked for being saved, I didn’t ask for a christian to come and show me the ‘good holy ways’ in life – so I ask: what is it within these christians and god suckers that leads them to try and convert anyone into a god-jesus groupie being that joins them in their mass rites that exalt the idea of a spiteful god that ‘must be right’ in all ways and must never be questioned?

This is in-fact the holy-grail which keeps the churches treasury nice and healthy. Keep it up god followers! You’re almost done paying for your first row ticket to heaven.

For those that can open their eyes about god being an ever elusive idea of superman, visit Desteni for further support in taking off the blindfold.

 

Color0006


W(h)inning and Losing Game in Education and Patience for Processors

Patience is one point that I am taking as myself because of having existed throughout my entire life as someone that wants to get things done right away, to go on to the ‘next thing’ as soon as possible and almost always ending up asking – what’s next?

 

The memory that comes up is from when I was quite young in school and I would be a ‘fast writer’ when were were taking group dictation and so as the teacher was dictating, I would write it out and would usually have to wait and stare at the window or stare at others to ‘make time’ so that  we would be able to continue later – this developed as ‘myself’ as always wanting to get it done as fast and accurate as possible and thus I got used to finishing my work first, to always be delivering things first wherein it was an automated-way of existing. Just get it done, deliver – next one.

 

Though! as I once have mentioned probably there was a time in 2nd grade when having ‘mental calculation’ and the teacher was dictating, in one moment I simply got lost, couldn’t keep track of the entire exercise and so the moment I saw myself ‘lost’ the only thing I did was breaking into tears because of me seeing myself as unable to catch up

 

I forgive myself for experiencing any self judgment towards myself for remembering myself in that moment.

 

Quite fascinating because I had already written about this moment but not within the context of seeing ‘who I am’ within a similar situation now – which is simply moments where we feel we ‘can’t keep up’ or there’s ‘too much going on’ or when it’s an entire new paradigm of thinking and existing which is basically let’s say getting to Desteni and going into a complete shock of existence – and then within that having to challenge ourselves to keep up with that stream of new information, of material released, of writings, reading, watching, sharing, reflecting upon the points – all of that requires ourselves to slow down and not ‘break into tears’ so to speak the moment that we see ourselves desiring to ‘get it done’ and simply seeing it as tasks to accomplish or something like that, just like in the ‘school mode’ because then we see how it would be just another task-reward system game that’s mostly existent and ingrained within the context of school system for example – then later on it’s the basis of all jobs: you do, you are paid for and thus everyone gets to learn the ways of surviving: if you don’t do = you don’t get money = you don’t survive – so it’s fear of death, fear of losing, fear of not ‘getting it’ what drives a person moving in this world –

 

What the fuck eh? Being existing in constant fear of death is what might be behind all of what we do and a serious point to consider is if even deciding to place ourselves in this process is driven by a point of Fear of Death – lol – which is something that I constantly ‘check’ with myself in terms of asking me at random moments: can I die I this moment and that’s it? and the answer is in that moment yes I mean what else could I do – but obviously we know the point is not to create that as myself but to amalgamate myself as life so, lol it’s a cool way to test out ‘where am I’ with regards to fearing death and this is something I placed directly linked to ‘fear of losing good memories’ so

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only ‘fear death’ because that would imply having to give up all ‘good memories’ of my childhood, of my past as everything ‘I was’ which is indicating me that I still place value/specialness to ‘who I was in the past’ without realizing that all of that is non existent HERE but only as myself as the accumulation of everything I’ve done, everything I haven’t done and thus I let go of such memories to simply focus on myself HERE as what is walking and breathing as myself here.

 

Okay so, after seeing how kids are then trained within the survival ways within the system to then always push themselves otherwise having to face a ‘bad grade, being kicked out of school, being rejected by peers as one point that could be equated to ‘fear of death’ within the system which then obviously if not supported specifically in time, these small points and experiences can develop onto other type of mental situations that are nothing else but the accumulation of experiences within a particular point as ourselves that we go trying to suppress and not ‘face’ yet are existent within us which will eventually have to be faced and! that’s when the entire shit comes out – and it is ludicrous to see how within the current Education System there is no actual SELF SUPPORT given to people – like there are no actual subjects that give tools of self support for kids to realize the trickery of the mind obviously or how to correct themselves within a more emotional/feeling perspective – sure there are psychologists in school but obviously not in every school, certainly not in public schools which as always, the places and institutions with more deficient personnel and resources are the ones that require the most due to the entire set-up of such low-class or low-middle-class schools are then doomed to ‘educate’ people in a very precarious  way which then within the ‘pyramid’ of the current system already places them at the bottom of the entire thing because of being determined/conditioned by default by the amount of resources they’ve had their entire life which conditions their entire education process, determines the relationships they create, the partner they choose and thus the job they will have and the family that they will then re-create as the same system and environment they’ve grown and lived in-  very very few nowadays have an actual opportunity to step out of that conditioning and ‘make it’ within the system – 

 

There ARE hardworking people seeking for opportunities to excel in this world, but the world doesn’t have such opportunities as available for everyone – how fucked up is that and thus we see how the entire system is doomed by default wherein it cannot exist without having a broad amount of people as resources to keep the top of the food-chain-or pyramid – in place – it’s an abusive system in its intrinsic nature and structure and, to think ‘there is no other way’ is what drives people crazy in fact, because it forces everyone to think that ‘there’s no other way’ and ‘we can’t do anything about it’ when in fact we can obviously – but here we go full circle – we require work, we require actual will to change ourselves and patience – because even if we are walking with ourselves only, we still have to face the entirety of what we’ve become as the accumulation of everything we’ve ever been and done and time-looped around in all our lives which is here as ourselves as this entire world as the accumulation and result of all points – thus the ‘intensity’, the ‘overwhelming experience’ that can exist when realizing or seeing the ‘bigger picture’ of the entire enslavement/conditioning points that we’ve accepted and allowed ourselves to exist as, never really doing anything to change – only probably questioning and trying to challenge it not from its foundation but from a mere superficial-perspective as only criticism and debate with no actual solutions as the solution – as we know – comes from a change in the entire way life is lived, the entire way life is Valued which if we see polarity is the game, we change the rules into Equality and with that end all games possible as no one will be supporting then a system of winners and losers – lol so typically ingrained for example in American culture – but an actual society/humanity that values everyone as equals as Life as Themselves.

 

That brings the word ‘bullying’ which has been a prominent problem for so long an intensifying as the nature of man reveals itself in the youngest ones in a more radical way, we see that if basic understanding of Equality as Everyone and Everything as Life, we would be seeing a significant change with kids and how they’d treat others because what I see is how that type of considerations is seen – within males specifically – as something too ‘sensitive for a boy’ and ‘too considerate’ and thus forming from that young age the ‘bully profile’ which is nothing else but the grounds of the male ego that is seeking to develop itself as ‘the winner’ as the one that ‘beats others’ as the one that is ‘superior’ and ‘best of all’ instead of living by what’s ‘best for all’ –

 

So, we can see how it’s all educational and  how schools – at least here in the third world lol –have no actual ways of teaching system integrity at all – everyone only sees at the consequences, the manifested consequences and trying to find solutions on that level without ever seeing what’s the core problem – just as with any other situation in this world wherein we see how people are trying to ‘fix the money problem’ with rescue-packages and trying to cover the sun with one finger – none of which is actually ‘the’ solution to the entire problem as we know, but it’s time to open up our eyes and investigate, educate and apply ourselves to become that actual living change as human beings that are no longer robotized to work and live in the ways that only benefit the stability of an abusive system –and that beings with self, that begins at home, that takes dedication, that takes constant dedication and! the point that triggered all of this Patience – to be patient with ourselves when dealing with the entirety of the points that we are facing and we’ll be facing as we go discovering ourselves, as ‘the truth’ of what we’ve accepted and allowed ourselves to become starts popping up everywhere and this is to not give-up, to not give-in into any mind created turmoil and allow ourselves to have a single thought of ‘oh man! I can’t do this anymore’ or ‘oh! this is just so much’! because that ‘hard’ point is simply a mind-created experience due to it simply not being preprogramed to be able to grasp and/or integrate these type of Self Corrections as it’s like wanting Microsoft to work in the code of Linux so to speak, and creating a transition from one to another would obviously take time and dedication and a constant application to not get ourselves lost in the way.

 

So hereby I suggest we support ourselves to stop ourselves when having any of these thoughts and simply realize that this has to be done, that we have to direct ourselves, that we are here to get this done not from the perspective of another task, another ‘quest’ or another something to obtain or accomplish, but as an ultimate action of self-liberation from all restrictions we’ve ever existed as – and thus we realize that this reality is bound to space and TIME – so we breathe through this time to walk step by step, developing patience to deal with ourselves, with the things that must be done, to push ourselves to transcend perceived ‘inabilities’ to do something like saying ‘I’m not good at’ or ‘I’ve never liked this/that’ – or ‘I can’t do…’ but instead break through that mind-veil and see what we are actually capable of

 

We are here to realize ourselves as the full capacity of what we exist as – please take an hour of your time today to listen to this interview if you haven’t – it’s once again one of these encompassing key points within this process and it is of great support to realize the full context/bigger picture view of what’s going on here in existence:

Radical Relationships & The God System

 

Thanks for reading

To Re-Educate yourself, visit the Desteni I Process


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