Tag Archives: positive

177. Imagining Positive Outcomes as Conditions to Move

Imagination Reactions – Procrastination Character
Positive Imagination

Within this, the imagination of a ‘better thing to do’ such as simply going out for a walk and imagining the entire play out of having a ‘cool time’ within it forms part of the immediate thought and imagination that covers-up the points I reviewed in the last blog in relation to the negative imagination.

The other future projection is exactly the opposite of what I have imagined/ pictured myself in within the point of confrontation with the ‘jury’ and instead of having them bashing my work, praising and ‘loving it’ which is how I then also create this laxity and sensation within me of relief, or even expectation as an experience wherein all of this is happening in my mind with no actual physical ‘input’ so to speak to actually simply get this done and stopping future-projections that only serve my own mind-interest instead of giving myself direction in the physical.

As I had explained as well, walking as the ‘sacred time of the day’ within my routine, as that untouchable aspect that I have defined as a ‘must do no matter what’ and how I can implement this same drive toward any other point/ activity in my reality.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with excitement to going out for a walk due to how I have defined this experience of walking outside as a positive thing to do within my day, yet it has been used to also distract myself to get to the positive point in my day and avoid looking at the rest of the points that also require my attention and equal-input to get them done thus

When and as I see myself reacting with enthusiasm and excitement and be just ‘ready’ to go out for a walk, I stop and I breathe – I realize and make sure that I am not using this as an excuse to leave what I have to do ‘for later’ and excusing myself with further self-talk of why I should go outside – thus

I commit myself to make the decision to go outside based on how I have covered my basic priorities during the day or not – as I realize that it is within this excitement and expectation of going outside that I suddenly ‘let everything go’ and justify it with ‘giving myself some time’ but from the perspective of actually pushing aside/ covering up the initial negative experience that I am in fact trying to ‘make alright’ through the positive experience of going out for a walk, which is not acceptable.

I commit myself to expand and express myself as ‘steadfastness’ toward every activity that I commit myself to do, as this is what I see and realize assists and support me to not allow myself to go into thoughts, pictures, imagination about ‘doing something’ but simply giving myself direction in a physical manner, not allowing myself to have ‘second thoughts’ about things.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine myself within a situation of facing/ confronting and exposing my written document to more people and them reacting with amazement and delight about what I have to say, creating a positive experience within me in that moment of being imagining this such as a warm sensation in my stomach and creating this upliftment within me that I am only making up in my mind and experienced at a physical level, without seeing and realizing that I am in fact NOT doing anything physically but only up there entertaining myself in my mind with positive outcomes and expectations that have no foundation in any way whatsoever but mere desires and delusions of grandeur – thus

 

When and as I see myself imagining myself in this future projection moment of presenting my work to more people, I stop and I breathe – I realize that this positive experience is a cover up for the fear of having the exact opposite happening in reality within the same situation as a negative experience – thus I realize that in order to DO something, I don’t require to future project, I don’t require to have either a positive or a negative experience, it is only about myself being congruent with my doings and commitments that I am pressing here and stop all mind-entertainment that serves no other purpose but making it ‘alright’ within my mind to simply not do things and believing that ‘somehow’ it will all turn out just fine, which is the laxity that must be stopped in order to get to the physical points that must be done.

I commit myself to stop imagining pictures, moments with more people ‘praising my work’ and within this reacting with a positive experience of upliftment, grandeur, importance that is only founded upon my mind, my secret desires to ‘win’ no matter what and be ‘recognized’  – I realize that within these seemingly ‘innocent’ participation in the mind, I am in fact abdicating the self responsibility toward actual physical DOING and instead, I am getting a physical high of thoughts in my head, which proves to what extent I have allowed myself to use my physical body as a self-projector of ‘good experiences’ while leaving the actual DOING for ‘another time,’ which implies that imagination as a positive experience is also another way to procrastinate and delude ourselves into a positive outcome without any real foundation of it as a physical-doing.

I realize that indulging in imagination is also a way to suit my needs and ‘soothe my fears’ like covering them up with something ‘better to think,’ instead of realizing that this is not about a Thinking process but a Doing that does not require me to project a future certain outcome that I can create a point of ‘satisfaction’ about, without physically first doing it.

This reveals how I have tended to only ‘move’ myself based on having a certainty of ending up ‘winning’ having the result that ‘I expect/ that I want’ and when this is not  in place, I do not do it because of actually being fearing the ‘negative outcome’ within all of this, which is how I comfort myself with ‘positive outcomes’ without realizing how either/or positive or negative are equally abusive in fact.

 

Thus, equalizing myself to the physical dimension of reality implies: I do not require to have ‘certainty’ created in my mind toward doing something, I simply require to just do it.

I realize that I do not require to have a positive input or drive to do things through imagining a ‘reward’ of sorts for doing it, that would be conditioning myself to only move according to there being ‘something in it for me.’

I realize that If I am here to stand for an equal and one self-movement as the physical, there has to be no energetic drive existent within me to ‘feel like doing something’ – I instead, take a deep breath, recognize that breath as the physical living-force is all I really require to get things done.

More to come

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Desteni Forum

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124. Who am I within ‘Wanting to be Alone’?

It is clear that it is a mind possession what we go through when desiring or fearing something. Wanting to be alone is just the polarity of actually fearing to be alone and as such, creating a pattern of desire and suppression as fear within events that I then define according to this single character as ‘The Loner.’

If we look at ourselves as society, we all eventually hit this spot of secluding ourselves within a constant desire or fear to be with another, fearing establishing relationships and at the same time desiring to be with others.

We have become so conflictive in our minds that we can structure an entire game of self-interest wherein all that exists is our personal benefit: ‘Oh I want to be alone/ Oh I want to be with another’ – and where’s Life in all that? Where is an actual Self-Agreement that we can consider as an actual point of Self Support that is not dependent on ‘external points’ such as people, environment and situations to  define who we are.

 

I realize throughout this exploration of ‘the loner’ that I have mostly danced around a desire to experience myself in a different way in relation to having company or not, which is then deliberately seeking to play a character that we can become for a moment and establish that as ‘who we are:’ I am alone or I am not alone anymore – and that’s it. And in that we can build and create a thousand events and stories wherein we revolve around a constant friction and conflict in relation to one single point, while everything that we are as human beings that breathe and that require to consider that there is much more than one single point of desire or fear that we trap ourselves into when believing ourselves to be these thoughts in our head, that later on become actual actions that we ‘give life’ to literally, as all actions based on desires or fear are in fact not based on a practical and common sensical consideration of who we are as individuals that exist in a physical biosphere  that we have abused when seeking only to satisfy our hopes, dreams and desires that we sometimes do not even realize we are ‘living for’ because we tend to make it ‘ok’ to keep one single piece of heaven in our pocket, without realizing that such heaven has always been an illusion,  a sugary thought that we keep just because it makes us feel content for a moment – yet it has no substance as a practical living consideration wherein we actually become beings that are able to consider another as an actual equal and one part of ourselves – instead we antagonize and desire each other, like strangers that cannot conceive that we are in fact one and equal.

 

Back to the question:

Who am I within ‘Wanting to Be Alone’?

It is just a character of self manipulation that is designed to actually activate the absolute opposite as a strong desire to create a relationship when and as the ‘conditions’ apply, which is once again a character that seeks to upgrade itself into a ‘completeness’ when being with another/ others, eventually creating yet another form of separation from that avoidance to be with others to an absolute dependency toward others – never in fact seeing and realizing that self is here as one and equal and as such, it is to step out of these limited versions of ourselves: struggling to be with others, yet wanting to be with others and in that just rocking back and forth like in a ping pong match wherein there is no actual ability to win or lose as none of the points are in fact ‘real’ – as we are never in fact all alone yet we cannot ‘complete’ ourselves with another either.

 

So this is a point of Self Honesty wherein we realize how we have created characters to stand as a form of entertainment and conflict to only exist up there in our minds, thinking why we would rather be alone or why we would want to be with another – and where is the rest? It’s simply out of the picture as we become possessed with one single point only, going in circles chasing after each pole instead of actually allowing ourselves to stop, breathe and look for a moment what it is in reality that we are whining about: is this character in any way supporting me to actually take on the practical considerations within this physical world that I require to do.

 

It is rather ludicrous how we have become the characters to such an extent that there are moments wherein we cannot apparently see beyond the fog, yet we are always here, breathing, an entire physical body keeping ourselves alive while we consume ourselves with emotions or feelings that we accept as ‘who we are.’ This is then how we have to consider how to stand one and equal as the mind to become self directive as the mind, so that everything we participate in our day to day, moment by moment reality is no longer the type of prefab limitations such as ‘the loner’ characters that only exist as the limited version that we accepted and allowed ourselves to consume ourselves with.

 

It’s definitely time to live, and by living at this stage it is to stop participating in all characters that we have created as the surrogate versions of ourselves, living for us just because we were too frightened to even consider that there is another way to exist.

I have realized how the participation in the mind is the point that becomes an addictive experience, believing that it is ‘perfectly normal’ to have some type of mind-discomfort translated as an actual pathology that we accept as ‘real’ such as ‘being a loner,’ which is just a delusion I cultivated in order to create my own character to entertain myself with – not necessary.

I have seen and realized how there is an actual fear to stop participating in our ‘personal favorites’ such as usual behavioral patterns that backup the idea of ‘who we are’ in our minds. It’s almost like an aberration to the mind the moment that we do not participate in emotions and feelings and that is an actual point of self-movement, wherein we stop acting out on that which we saw as ‘usual’ within us when the necessary conditions/ context would present itself to then look into our character wardrobe and decide what type of conflictive or pleasing ‘nature’ we want to play out in such moment, never ever realizing or considering the point of abuse that this represents.

So, it’s cool to see and realize how this character was just another way to keep me entertained in my tunnel vision in relation to myself and others

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to diminish myself to a single character in my mind such as ‘The Loner’ character wherein I reduce an entire moment of who I am as flesh to one single ‘self’ that wants/ needs/ desires or rejects being with others and creating a positive or negative energetic churning and sparks about it, which is absolutely delusional to exist as a default experience that in no way assists as support me to be here as breath, physically living and considering where and how I have to direct myself to support me to actually consider how I can be and become an example of what it means to live the word: Equality as Life wherein no reaction or wavering exists when the decision to Live is done and placed in motion by ourselves,  I commit myself to LIVE as that is what we have not yet done/been in fact throughout our existence here: Life in Equality and Oneness

 

I see and realize that because we have all existed in our personal-limitations we have only feared actually getting to know each other because we have even feared establishing an equal and one relationship with ourselves, because we had not considered ourselves ‘enough’ but were actually waiting for something o someone to ‘fill in the void’ and because in our minds not just ‘anything’ can play that role. This is how we become hermits and loners to not have to actually realize that we were protecting ourselves from the actual opportunity of communicating and interacting with others as equals, which implies we cannot generate any positive or negative experience about it, but simply get used to and learn how to live and interact without any emotional or feeling input in order to assess it as ‘being actually living.’

This is how we break the addictive pattern of generating any positive or negative experience upon being alone or being with others as I then instead decide to remain here as breath.

This is the actual fear: just being here, in simplicity – how ludicrous it is – yet it makes ‘perfect sense’ as in the mind we’re always having to be bounding from one side to the other in order to keep ourselves ‘alive’ as the ‘who I am’ of/as the mind. Not necessary.

Alone is what I exist as here, as a physical breathing human body – yet I am a cell that is part of the whole that functions in unison. Right now we’re not Sound enough in our living – thus I align myself to live as the physical which means: no more powering up experiences that I entertain myself within my mind, living here as breath is like living rehab for the very first real time, giving our physical the breaths that we missed when searching for our next greatest hit. Time to live our commitment to live in and as simplicity in every breath here.

 

“We are not alone in this. And no ONE alone will change the world.”
Bernard Poolman 

 

Desteni

Desteni Forum

Equal Money System 

For further review on ‘The Loner’ Character:

 

Blogs that enable you to understand the 7 Year Journey To Life Commitment_

Day 124: TRUE ACTIVIST TEAMLIFE

How Thoughts Activate Personalities – Part 2 (Self-Commitments): DAY 124

 

GREAT Support my Marduk in these two interviews wherein I was able to see and realize the dedication to life required in order to LIVE this process day by day ensuring that we establish ourselves as the physical in the physical practical reality

Reptilians – Marduk and the Existential Mind (Part 1) – Part 81

Ever wondered what ‘black holes’?

Reptilians – Marduk and the Existential Mind (Part 2) – Part 82

69. Change is in the Meaning of Money

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that changing the monetary system implies a Change in the Meaning/ Signification of the word ‘Money’ itself, wherein the sign is no longer passed on from generation to generation as the medium of exchange in the form of coins, bills and banknotes based on rules and regulations imposed by a minority that Makes the money/ decides How it is distributed/ given and traded, and instead realize that for an actual Social, Political change we require an Economic change wherein we as human beings agree that the ‘balance’ required in money at the moment to stop the Inequality is through Equalizing Money to a physical tangible reality and principle, which is Life in Equality.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that the current implications of the meaning/signification of money in our societies is implying suffering, abuse, power, over consumption, division of classes, greed, envy, comparison, competition, success as a positive quality, survivalism amongst any other form of separation that stems from the basic realization that: not everyone in the world has access to this ‘means of exchange’ as money – which implies that not everyone is able to give/ receive that which is required to live, signifying that we have accepted the ‘money tradition’ as a word/ meaning that is signifying the enslavement of man to an arbitrarily made system that is only benefitting a few, while the majority does not get to see ‘the light’ as money as energy/ power to acquire that which is needed to live. Furthermore, instilling the desire for ‘More’ within those that have the basics to live – middle class – but learn to not be satisfied with the necessary as the glorified ‘example’ of the ‘wealthy’ implies that one can get to have all that power as well, wherein the ‘rich and famous’ become just like a carrot on a stick that keeps everyone circling around/ working/ doing all that is possible in order to someday ‘attain’ that amount of wealth as a synonym of protection, happiness, ultimate satisfaction, and ‘worth’ completely oblivious to the actual abuse that goes on with the mere acceptance of money as a separate meaning from ourselves as Life, which implies by default that abuse is existent in its meaning over Life.

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the basic required shift and change in the meaning of money can be established as a social convention based on the firm-ground and principle of Life in Equality, wherein All can be equally benefited by such change/ shift within the relationship we have with money itself: from a meaning of power that is only achieved through work – for the majority – or inheritance,  to a readily given tool as a means of giving and receiving equal access and distribution of the resources of the Earth that we use for consumption and construction of our society, of which its members must equally stand – one by one – as the understanding of what giving and receiving as Equals means: Equal-Money will be the consequence and outflow of us deciding and agreeing in a New Meaning to Money which can benefit All in an Equal-way, which implies that the relationship between the human and money won’t be that of power, lack, desire/ lust as greed and a constant survivalism to get it, but will become an Equal Living Word as a simple tool to manage resources and ensure everyone is equally supported, by mere virtue of being a living being in this world.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to perpetuate an unspoken social convention over money as a current means of control of the Earth’s resources distribution, which implies that it is in our absolute power and ability to re-unite again to agree that within the principle of one man, one vote, we can establish a new system that can benefit all beings Equally, wherein those in the elite and those starving are finally equalized by having equal power of acquisition along with the rest of humanity, which will dissolve the eternal class-struggle and avoid the need to ‘take down the power’ by force/ revolutions/ battles/ wars – I see and realize that through giving a New Meaning to Money as an equally give-distributed tool, I can prevent a tumultuous process of shift/ change within the monetary system, as I see and realize that wars, revolutions and coup d’état only separate the individuals within a society further, which is precisely why Equal Money System is the most pacific way in which we can all agree to give to each other as we want to receive the right to Live a dignified living, without resorting to further violence, death, crimes and revolting in spitefulness, but instead recognize our actual Neighborism  if we agree to Live as Equals.

 

I realize that the responsibility for how money currently exists resides in each and every single person that has accepted the meaning of ‘money’ as it currently exists in absolute means of separation, division, power and competition, which implies that the solution will also mean a new social convention to give a New Meaning to Money that will imply a process of change through Education, just like learning a New Word and its Meaning, which must be first lived within the individual as the realization of who and what we are as Life is Equal and One = hence, making of money the representation of that realization made a system that is socially agreed upon through democratic means, as the real power that each one hold by virtue of being a participant within society as part of the entire ecosystem as the Earth.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that Equal-Money becomes an imposition as a new meaning to Money-itself, without realizing that fear is only a means of control that have kept us believing that the meaning/ value of money could not be changed/ transformed/ shifted in its functionality, which implies that we cannot fear implementing a Living Principle that is and will benefit All beings equally.

 

I realize that we have kept ourselves living in a generational inertia, never questioning money and its meaning, but simply accepting it ‘as is,’ which implies that it is now that more and more people are being affected and directly influenced by the inequality inherently schemed as Money at the moment, that we start questioning how money was created, when/ how did we accept this, which is the actual imposition and forced-acceptance that we all complied-to by the very first moment that we used money in our lives without further questioning its existence and the ‘rules’ behind it.

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that the ‘free choice’ that is implied in the arbitrary meaning of Money at the moment, was not established and promulgated in the best interest of all, but only considering the benefit of those that made the rules of its meaning in the first place, which means that we have followed the ‘tradition’ of such meaning as a ‘word of god’ without really questioning how come we have delegated the same abusive system from generation to generation without pondering the need for a change in its meaning and power over life itself.

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that Money is a mere abstraction/ concept, and Not a full sign as a direct meaning of  what Money should be as linked to a physical-tangible object/ part of the physical world – but instead accepting its ‘value’ within the belief of ‘power’ in an abstract form represented by metal, paper, coins with no physical relationship to an actual physicality of/as life itself in this world, but became a meaning to ‘power’ as the ability to simply deny / allow the access of money to other beings, the quantity of it and the rules within which it would function-as, implying that it is Not a meaning/signification that is Real in any way whatsoever, but a socially deliberately ‘flawed’ convention representing the absolute separation of humanity toward the world itself and each other, creating the basis of Inequality by and through a single meaning in separation of ourselves as Equals as Life.

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that money in itself as paper, bank notes, plastic, metals cannot in any way be a ‘meaning of power’ in itself, it is the social convention as a Belief-System that we have agreed upon that decides how it works,  which reduces money to a psychological object rather than an actual meaning in function of the physical reality as the tangible resources that can be given/ exchanged with one another – this means that the word ‘wealth’ is the solidification of this intangible ‘power’ above others as a mere social-convention/ belief-system that is only made real through the acceptance of such money having the ability to buy/ consume all that which the value of such money is accepted and allowed to have/‘mean,’ which is, once again, a mere belief-system wherein there are no real values attached to the physical reality, but are all man-made conventions/beliefs. H

Hence, I realize that the problem and solution resides within the ability of us as humanity coming together to create a New Agreement as a New Constitution to declare the value of Money as Life, as a tool to support each other as equals with no ability to generate the illusion of profit/ gain/ power over others as ‘wealth’ any longer.

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize how we have conditioned and controlled ourselves through the acceptance of habit and tradition as a pattern followed to perpetuate a system of abuse, wherein we only came to understand the effect of having/ not having money once we experience the detrimental consequences as being poor, middle class or positive consequences as being wealthy/rich as the basic conditioning within a human being’s life, without first asking how it is that such Inequality is able to be accepted as ‘normal’ in our world-system.

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that we are all one and equal as part of this physical world – and that money as words became the separators between ourselves as life through the imposition of meaning/ value as worth that can be more or less according to a social convention/ belief-system that was not based upon Life in Equality, which means that we only gave and acquired such meanings through establishing comparison, differentiating one from another as separate entities that could be then assessed as being ‘more’ or ‘less’ than others, which implies an obvious problem of Meaning and Signification within words themselves and Money as a a product of such social conventions/ belief-system in separation of the consideration/ value of ourselves being one and equal as Life. Within this

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the ‘injury’/ split/ incision manifested within this world system as and through Money stems from the very decision of giving words a particular meaning and value within a make-believe system called ‘social convention’ where not every single being was able to vote upon the meaning/ value and worth of words, which implies that the most common sensical way of establishing a new system, a definitive reform in the system stands within the agreement of giving to each other that which is best for all, as the realization that it is only through arbitrarily placed separations as words/ values upon Life itself that we came to create the current system that we are existing as and suffering the consequences of, wherein we have made ourselves subject to our own imposed cages as money upon life itself that is unconditionally given by the Earth as part of who we are in this same Ecosystem.

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that the substance of and as Life is here indistinctly, however we have as words and language created separate forms of it as different meanings that acquire ‘different values’ according to the relationships that we form with it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that value in itself is but a consideration given to things/ people/ the environment in separation of ourselves, which becomes a meaning of worth as more or less than in a fixed-system as a social convention to agree that some things are ‘more’ than others, and in that simple and primordial separation, accepting money as a ‘moreness’ and ‘lack’ at the same time, which is how and why money is a function of abuse.

 

I commit myself to establish the New meaning and signification of Money as the correspondence between the word Money/ Equal-Money to Life itself, as the physicality and substantiality that is here as the Earth’s resources that can be given and obtained in equal agreement and equal availability for All participants within this ecosystem of Earth, which implies that Money in itself has no power other than the ability to be a counting tool to administrate the resources, the provision of services and any other means of giving and receiving in equal terms. This is then establishing the real meaning of Economics as the administration/ management of the house’s resources/Earth’s resources, which is an absolute physical logistical processes and Not schemes to make more profit/ wealth based on unsubstantiated values as abstract meanings Over life itself.

(Read the blog an Economist’s Journey to Life for further support.)

 

I commit myself to equalize the signification and value of Money as one and equal as Life, as the value implying the relationships established between human beings as the social agreement and understanding that we had created a distinction/ separation and differentiation from the one and only real value that is Life itself, which will have to be equally extended to all words, concepts an aspects in our reality wherein we no longer create separation through/ as words that can imply a ‘moreness’ or ‘lesser’ value of things/ people/ the environment itself, but it is all turned into a simple tool to communicate, just as we communicate using words that must be then Equalized as who we are, as actual Living Words that can stand within the new Equal-Money System as the Equal-Value of Life System where the relationships that we establish with one another, can only be interdependent and symbiotic in nature – just like an actual social organism that is able to distribute its resources in an equal way, learning from the functioning of our own physical body that maintains the homeostasis of the organism in place through ensuring that all parts are equally supported with the nutrients required to Live.

 

I commit myself to explain that the difference we agreed to impose upon things and ourselves is a mere linguistic ‘problem’ as meaning/ signification that Must be re-evaluated within the consideration of the current consequences that such ‘flaw’ in the meaning of Money itself and the relationships we have created toward it/ as-it, have manifested a world in absolute separation, where only constant survival and competition is keeping the system alive, as that seeking for ‘more’ as an ideal of fulfillment, without realizing that such fulfillment could be actually readily given at birth by mere virtue of being alive in this world, and that it only takes a social convention and agreement to establish a New Monetary System based upon Life in Equality as the one and only value given to All as the realization of who and what we are as One and Equals as Life.

 

This means that Language in itself will cease to only be a ‘form’ imposed onto life, and instead become an actual Substance as each one of us realize, see and understand the separation that we have created within our world and reality through and as words – wherein we recognize that we are all made of the same substance that is Life itself, and that all words must be equalized as such realization – wherein Living Words implies recognizing the substance of who and what we are as One and equal in every single sound/ word that we express as a constant living-application/ externalization and expression of ourselves as Life.

 

For that, it is an entire process of Re-Education now that we see that the key to change ourselves and our reality exists and resides in the introspection, realization and investigation of who we are as words and how we have to equalize ourselves as such words within the principle of what’s best for all life to Live as Words that are in support of the new meaning and function of Money as Equal-Money = Life in Equality and Oneness.

 

Equal Money System 

Desteni

 

We are a group of people walking a process to redefine words as Life through a process of Self-Correction that entails All Aspects of our lives – where no part is more or less important to review, but equally important as the understanding that this world and reality is the consequential outflow of the separation as words we have ‘lived’ and perpetuated in our lives, and only now being reviewed to see and understand what it takes to Change the World beginning with Ourselves.

Read our blogs: Destonians and Journey to Life blogs 

 

words

Read the previous entries for the complete exploration of the separation created through and as the word Money

 

Blogs that explain the Value/ Relationships created through/ as Money as the separation that exists as an energetic system, which is devaluing substance/life itself into meanings/ words/ relationships between each other that have placed a Cap on life itself.

Creation’s Journey to Life 

Heaven’s Journey to Life 

 

Bernard Poolman – FAQ Equal Money System – Science and Language


Day 57: Fogbound

There are times when we get to know/ understand what’s really going on in the world that it is almost impossible not to be ‘enveloped by a fog’ as if it all seemed too difficult to ever get to solve – and because we cannot see anything clearly, we standstill, we don’t move which is obviously the point to correct here. What I mean here is that I have become used to seeing ‘the whole picture’ – repeat PICTURE – in order to then have this ‘certain outcome’ which would be not living and directing myself as a Self-Willed being, but rather wanting to only attain/ obtain and experience myself in that picture, while missing the actual process to get there, which is the relevant point within this process, understanding Why we are doing this Self-Equality and Oneness Process as Existence: we have never ever lived as Equals, we have only existed as separation and for that, it was about ‘time’ that we got to see the manifested consequences of our inherent separation and now be willing to correct the fuckup from its primordial times. This won’t be an ‘easy-fix’ either, we are walking it the proper way and for that, we are all walking our individual processes where nothing will be initially perfect, because we have never ever directed ourselves to change the very nature of who we are as human beings. I also see that If I had existed 100 years ago and someone would have shown me in Virtual Reality what the world looks like now, I would have also thought that it was ‘impossible’ to get to such point of both the technological advancements/ general ‘picture’ presentation and the obvious consequence of it which is the absolutely horrid scenario of depletion, pollution, poverty and starvation.

 

Fogbound is such a clear word to define what I  experience when watching documentaries that reveal the state of absolute abuse toward the Earth, the Animal Kingdom, the general state of the world, like watching that trilogy of Koyaanisqatsi and not being overwhelmed by everything we’ve done as human beings. These are all mind-experiences and one thing that I learned  yesterday while hearing about Anu and the ‘Failure’ point is that it is definitely comprehensible to give ourselves some air to realize that we have never ever done this before, we have been so secluded in our little bubble wherein there has been no proper equal and one standing  our own mind, to our physical, to this world, to anything or anymore – literally just being mind organic robots and it is really grounding for any speckle of ego to accept this.

 

There are times when we feel ‘stuck’ – again an emotional experience – and that’s because we have been so used to always getting immediate results, having tasks done and completed in a way that we have made this world work as a drive-thru machine that contemplates profit and not life – getting a positive experience out of ‘accomplishing something’ that would make us more ‘worthy/ increase our trading-value’ within a system where all life has been made an asset. We have never slowed down, not in a world where ever decimal fraction of a second is counted to make profit in a production line. We have existed like that Ford T Line Production wherein everyone just focuses on ‘getting their task done’ and earning money for it and call it a job/ working, sometimes never knowing how that assembly process fits within the entire construction of the whole product = absolute alienation that extended beyond the work-job experience, but also within society wherein you earn money – you spend-  you eat- you ‘entertain’ yourself – you create a family – you work until you die – then you die. And repeat the same the next life: nothing else but batteries within this system.

 

What we are doing now is absolutely the opposite of anything capitalism: we are slowing down, we are learning how to care for each other as equals, we are not doing it for any form of ‘profit’ but to create sustainable environments that will sustain/ support many more people willing to support themselves/other as equals – which is like your ‘pay it forward’ movie – we are learning to dissociate from everything that would keep us occupied in our minds: useless thoughts, feelings, emotions, beliefs, opinions that do not stand in the best interest of all life here in/as the physical reality; we are learning how to create relationships/ agreements that are Self-Supportive in the individuality required to stop all forms of co-dependency, instead of following through with the same repetitive short-lived experiences that begin with/ by desires, hopes and dreams that run dry very quickly once the sex is gotten and the money is gone. We are learning to educate ourselves not only in one single ‘field’/specialization of this reality, we are becoming holistic learners of this reality, with the REAL sense of what holistic means because we are getting education that no one has ever received in this world and that is now possible through all the material at eqafe, the Desteni I Process and every single blog, article, interview, post that you may find in all the various places Desteni and Equal Money System are located in the web. To place it shortly: we are learning how to live as Equality of Life for the very first time.

 

If anyone reading this asks themselves: oh but what have we done before then? We have only demoneyzed reality through seeing everything as Money, seeing all that is of the Earth not as unconditional resources that we can use to Live, but as products that we can put price tags on and make them ‘our own’ to sell them to others and make a ‘good business’ out of it. We have only seen convenient relationships to make us ‘feel good’ about ourselves and use that as a way to match it with the elusive desires to ‘make it’ as in being ‘successful’ in a world fabricated and staged to make Every-one seek the same thing, as that is what ‘activates the economy.’

 

 

We had not been living, we had just been killing time and I’ve just ripped of Thom Yorke for that, but it’s true. And before I continue wallowing in such depressive lyrics that would set the tonality for my days – every single day –in the past,  I realize that I can take everything that we have been as an example of what Not to promote in this world, what not to continue perpetuating as ‘culture’ I mean, it is quite obvious now how everything has been intertwined and specifically designed to keep us very busy with our mechanical jobs,  mechanical prayers, mechanical interactions to get our quick fix just like drugs – mechanical family-makings, mechanical pre-fab aspirations and ‘dreams’ – mechanical gatherings where the same mind-bullshit is regurgitated, everyone pursuing the exact same ‘dream’ lol – and mechanical views upon life wherein positivity would mostly shape and mold the feeble minds of ours,because it would create a ‘good will’ feeling wherein we would be willing to do anything to get the necessary money to ‘make our dreams come true.’ And so we turned and turned and turned the wheel until we started realizing that the more we spun it, the more the whales cried because we are depleting the Earth’s resources in the name of such mechanical lifestyle.

 

Sometimes I see that it will be virtually impossible to do this in a lifetime – this is where the ‘fogbound’ point comes in, as it is just ‘too much’ or ‘how the hell are we going to do this? where to begin with?– yet this can only exist if ‘I’ me-myself as the woman here typing is wanting to get to live the results ‘herself’ instead of Hereself. Within this, what I have realized is that I definitely want to be part of the people that are willing to do anything that is required to begin with the transformation that this world requires. I want children to come into this world and Know that there is a group of beings that are working to create the necessary transformations in this world to a Best for All Living-Principled society/ environment.

 

This is how we cannot ‘blame’ our parents or anyone – we have all done it in this mindset of energizer-bunnies that only sought to keep going on and on and on without ever pondering: well, what the hell am I doing this for? what are the consequences of me ‘living’ this way? And anyone that dared to express this and really ponder about it – because there have been several people in the world that genuinely tried to ‘make a difference’ in this world – were eventually subsumed within the entire survival-system or simply exterminated by it, because it was just impossible for one single being to do such changes all alone. This is how it is important to unite as many people as we can, because we realize that it will take a massive amount of people standing within the principle of What’s Best for All in order to work together and really establish what’s been elusively called as ‘Heaven on Earth’ – which I tend to resist saying because I simply don’t know what that would be like. All I get in my mind is this open plain space where the grass is green and there’s a nice breeze of air flowing lol with preferably some clouds and everyone just enjoying themselves –that’s it.

 

So, what I’ve realized is that we cannot be as apprehensive as we have been toward ourselves which has been based within a system wherein any ‘fuckup’ costs money, wherein any failure means you are ‘worthless’ or ‘ruined for life’ – wherein any sense of ‘demotivation’ means you are ready to be replaced by fresh bait/ cannon fodder – depending on the use of work-force in our current system – wherein taking some time off to evaluate yourself, your life and ‘who you are’ means potential realizations coming through, hence ‘providing’ you with all forms of enticing entertainment to make sure you remain stuck desiring sex, money and all the power in the world.

 

What we are learning to do is to not have any sense of ‘loss’ upon mistakes, not judging ourselves when we fuck up, not project our judgments upon others when others do fall and stumble on their own mistakes, because we learn from each other that way as well.  We are learning not to ‘Save the World’ but to be the change it requires, and that implies that it won’t be solved just with a thousand smiles and an 8 digit check for the cause – No. We are learning that our fuckups, mistakes reveal which points we have always missed within this reality, creating the current outcome of a society divided by its own negligence toward each other as Equals. These ‘Fogbound’  moments are here to get to know what is it that is causing such experience, what am I still defining myself according to, what is it that I am expecting to live of myself without realizing that I have Never ever lived before? The trick is to keep breathing, definitely and not to remain ‘still’ for far too long – but to re-assess our application and continue walking. Idleness has been quite a fuckup in my past wherein I get to that ‘giving up’ point in such stagnation and then shift my attention to ‘something else’ that looks like it would require ‘less effort.’ No man, we don’t have plan B’s here. We make it or we die.

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to obfuscate myself with my own thoughts about ‘all that will be required to be done in order to change the world’ wherein I see the ‘bigger picture’ and it just seems ‘too much’ without realizing that this is me only ‘thinking’ about change, but not Being the change that is required, which is not separated from myself as breath here, walking the necessary actions – step by step – to stop such enslaving system within me first, to educate myself, to learn from my own mistakes and failures in order to see what will work for all as equals, what must be corrected in order to ensure that we walk this process once and we do it right.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take ‘failures’ as something personal, wherein I see and realize that I have been conditioned to believe that me not being ‘right’ all the time within this process is a way to reveal to myself how I had only learned how to ‘live’ within a system of values and worth in  separation of who we are as life, wherein any fuckup/ failure/ mistake is punished and means a general ‘devaluing’ process wherein the person is then stigmatized and seen as ‘not worthy’/ not ‘good enough’ without seeing that this is only within the same value-schemes that we have lived as capitalist-minds that never considered the physicality of ourselves, of who we are as life – hence, I stop diminishing myself and opting-myself-out any moment that I fail, that I fall, that I make a mistake and within this stopping all thoughts associated with ‘giving up’ and seeing everything as ‘impossible’ or ‘too much’ because: this is only a mind-generated mechanism wherein it is simpler to just ‘go with the flow’ of the current world which is a statement of not really being willing to do this for ourselves As ourselves as the potential living-beings that we all are.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to impose the same judgments upon myself, the world and others that have stemmed from the past as all the limitations we have imposed onto ourselves due to our very own thinking-processes with which we have devalued ourselves in a way that is not at all originating from Life itself, but only our self-deprecating minds that are used to giving up any moment that a single obstacle is existent in our reality.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a failure, which is only in accordance to the necessary step for me to see that everything that we had only ‘maintained’ was a system of abuse, limitation, fears, judgments, opinions and beliefs upon life, but never Life itself. Therefore, the realization that every attempt to ‘live’ that is not in accordance to what is best for all coming to an obvious failure is necessary in order to establish our starting-line as the starting-point of self creation within the necessary principle that had never been considered/ contemplated in reality which is Equality as Life.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as apathy when seeing things as pointless, useless or without any definitive ‘result’ that I have been used to obtaining to declare that something ‘works/ doesn’t work’ in a short period of time, I realize that patience is required for me to understand that it will take as much time I spent on creating myself to correct and re-create myself and this world within a clear starting point of what’s best for all. Therefore I see, realize and understand that apathy is just another way to loop-around the ‘known me’ that preferred the comfort of ‘not giving a fuck’/ not doing anything to challenge the belief of ‘who I am’ which is what must be stopped within me as it is only consisting of thoughts, emotions and memories that are Not who I am here.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having ever feared ‘making mistakes’ and ‘fucking it all up’ based on that meaning that I would no longer be valuable/ worthy, ‘trust worthy’ for anyone, without realizing that I had not even developed my own self-trust as life itself, but only as knowledge and information that I acquired to define myself as a ‘confident’ and ‘secure’ person, while in fact none of us have ever actually lived self-trust as life, which is living as breath, physically here and realizing and understanding that any sense of ‘security’ comes as the current status of ourselves being well fed, having a place to live and having comfort and even luxuries that have made our life this comfortable pillow to lay upon while the rest of our existence as this world is obviously not having the same as we do at the moment. Hence the importance of developing this actual CARE as in seeing what we Are/ have become and understanding that ‘them’ is ourselves’ and if we don’t do this for ourselves first, we won’t  do it for anything/ anyone else. Because we had been training ourselves to only see for our own survival and look after our own ownerships and benefits and satisfactions that were based upon the same system that must be debunked in order to re-establish the real values based upon Life itself, which is currently Non-existent and must be Self-Created as the Self-Willed realization that there won’t be any ‘profit’ made form it, other than actual solid and stable foundations to support each other as Equals, which will be in the end the ultimate ever-lasting reward-system that will not be based upon Abuse, but Equality as Life.

 

“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to no realize that judgment is the Experience of the Past confirming that Life is Not Here, as the Experience of Energy Resulted in actions and Consequence of Energy Self-Interest that Crossed the Line of Dividing Life into Past, Present  and Future – turning Life into the Fiction of Experience of Energy that is Desire, Perpetuating the Desires till Death as Crucifixion. Thus, unless one Die Alive and End the Addiction to the Experience of Energy as the False Image of Self, Death Ends the Experience as the Opportunity to Be Life is No More. Thus, consider Rebirth as the End of Energy and Not the Purification of Energy as All experience as Energy is Always just the Past Repeating itself – and unless the Past is Over, Life will not Be Born from the Physical as What is the Same Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow.” Bernard Poolman *

 

I commit myself to stop within my mind this experience of being ‘fogbound’ wherein everything seems hazy and not clear enough for me to ‘know’ where to direct myself, which is a knowledge point and not a self-movement realization wherein we understand that there is no ‘ready-made picture’ that I can look at and walk this process to ‘get there,’ but actually see/ realize and understand that we are actually walking this process as we live day by day wherein knowledge and information as pictures or ideals to obtain do not exist, but only a principle is certain: Equality as Life.

 

I commit myself to not give into this ‘standstill’ moments wherein I believe that I have the ‘right’ to not do anything for a moment, without realizing that this is another form of ‘freechoice’ and ‘freewill’ that is embedded within the individualism that we have propagated as a ‘way of living’ in this world, which keeps us bound to the same separation that is generating the current world system we’re living. Therefore, I realize, see and understand that I must keep in mind that this is an existential process wherein I stand as a self-willed part/ particle as part of the equation that requires us all to be a part of in order to establish what’s best for all life.

 

I commit myself to see and realize that only wallowing in my mistakes, failure and self-deprecation is essentially self-interest as I am only considering ‘Me’ in this experience that is, obviously, self-created while in fact saying a big ‘fuck you’ to everything/ everyone else because: if I am not willing to do this as myself within the realization that doing it for me in Equality as What’s Best for All = doing it for All in Equality, I won’t be willing to ever live, as simple as that and I would only confirm that the mind wins, that I am incapable of changing myself and remain stuck in my own bubble until it dries and I die.

 

I commit myself to support myself with writing, self-forgiveness, self corrective application to re-settle myself within the understanding of what is it that I am doing this for, and not create a point of separation from that ‘outcome’ and ‘purpose’ outside of myself, but realize it As myself in every moment – hence understanding that me giving-up-on-myself is essentially me confirming that I am a mind-system that cannot possibly get out of the traps of the mind specifically set and designed to maintain ourselves in these individual-egotistical stances that have never cared or even considered Life in Equality as who we really are.

 

When and as I see myself standing-still within this fog that I create as this experience within and as my mind when seeing the reality that we have become and the extent of changes and corrections required in this world, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am projecting this as a ‘wholeness’ that seems like ‘too much’ and it is IS if I only considered ‘myself’ as my own limited mind to assess our abilities and capabilities, because I see and realize that who we are as the mind is a limitation in itself and won’t be able to ‘grasp’ our ability to function in Equality because the mind in itself is programmed, designed in order to only function as an individual – therefore I realize that being ‘fogbound’ is the same as getting into a ‘cannot compute’ experience that I can transcend within taking a deep breath, bringing myself here to stop the overwhelming thoughts and re-mind myself that I am learning how to live for the very first time as a physical time-space living being that won’t get any quick-fixes and immediate results, but that is walking this process as I walk and live day by day until it is done.

 

We cannot intellectualize this process, it is walked as we breathe.

 

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Day 23: E-cummulation

“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be/become a being that will only ‘accept myself’ / my ‘who I am’ based on the extent/amount of energy-experience I accumulate/manifest as consume within/as myself”

Sunette Spies Accept and Allow – the Contract with Death: DAY 22

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define myself and my beingness as a limitation, a caging of self-expression into a confinement called experience wherein who I am was reduced to being a single word as the name of an experience that I could identify as ‘who I am,’ in order to think, believe and perceive that ‘this is who I am’ and according to such definition, thinking ‘I am alive’ –

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to never question or even ponder about the experiences that I became so automated to seek, such as a sense of satisfaction, a single thrill from going to places, meeting people, hearing music, watching/ observing the world wherein I created relationships as experiences wherein all that I would ever experience is myself as my own programmed energetic reactions as the definitions that I created in order to make me feel ‘good’ or ‘bad’ about myself.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become obsessed with anything/ anyone in my world in order to keep myself occupied in a constant experience that I created about something/ someone as that constant fueling ‘toward’/ in the expectation of an experience within a certain event, within consuming something, within meeting someone, within going to a certain place, within buying something wherein it would always feel better to exists in such anticipation that would eventually wane once that such expectation was fulfilled in either a positive or negative result, and within this experience the ups and downs of my self created patterns of experiences that I defined myself as ‘living for.’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to always seek a crutch to keep living/ keep going in my reality – whether it was waiting for school to end, waiting for vacations, waiting for a concert, wanting to meet someone, waiting to ‘be older’ and always future projecting these events that I would accumulate energy toward and when such events would be gone/ fulfilled/ completed, I would go just like a vampire seeking for another ‘energy source’ for my next high to accumulate energy to eventually have it dissipate once that the ‘target was met’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become a moment/ experience builder wherein through giving meaning and values to everything and everyone around me, I crafted my own networks of energetic resources to ‘sip from’ – and within this it is to be understood how we have not in fact ever lived, because we have only sought to get high from energy and energetic experiences in either a positive, negative or neutral spectrum wherein we are constantly feeding a ‘state of mind’ that is kept as a constant thinking in our heads and in that, not being aware of what is it that I am in fact doing to myself, because I cannot see how thoughts that I create require energy to exist and such energy is sipped from the food that I consume as the physical resources in order to keep my ‘personal mind-heaven’ going as a constant experience-seeker.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to fear losing the relationships that I had formed toward people/ things/ places/ past and present because of thinking that I would be ‘dead’ as a ‘vegetable,’ without realizing that who I am as Life doesn’t require and in fact is violated/ abused the moment that we use it and denigrate its wholeness as substance into a single energetic experience wherein I am defining myself as that experience that I believe is ‘fulfilling’ and ‘satisfactorily’ which is how  I accepted and allowed to continue ‘building up experiences’ as memories that I could keep in my mind to continue my dreams and desires going, believing that I was doing ‘no harm’ in following these experiences, even though I was aware of how the effect of such highs would lead me to a low that I would seek to get back on top again, and in that allow myself to exist in this vicious cycle of ups and downs and believing that when I was in a ‘neutral’ state, I was ‘stable’ no realizing that I was still simply waiting in the middle ground to have some positive or negative experience to wind up my energetic self-experience again.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to judge the point of ‘stopping the mind’ as being dead and being ‘idle’ without realizing that the idleness that I would experience was self-created through thinking patterns of not getting ‘enough’ positive experiences and not being able to take me down to the bottom of the extreme negative out of fear of who I would become-  therefore idleness was a constant state of seeking and fearing myself as experiences, that I would cover up or maintain in a perceived ‘nothingness’ status quo, without realizing that I was in fact thinking myself into it, and still only defining myself as that experience of ‘nothingness’ without realizing that I was not really Here, breathing as my physical body – I was simply in a limbo position wherein self-direction was non existent.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my self direction and self-will to the will of who I am as what I have defined myself within the context of experiences as positive, negative and evidently neutral experiences wherein my beingness became a ‘state of being,’ wherein ‘who I am’ became a single definition according to ‘how I am experiencing myself’ and in this, never really considering that the physicality that I am and exist as is in fact the reality of myself – simply because of having accepted these energetic experiences as ‘who I am,’ and within this perceiving breathing, being here as being dead. The world is in reverse.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into moments of yearning to ‘experience’ something which is just like a drug addict that yearns to have another fix, just because of realizing to what extent we have defined who we are according to an experience, a rush, an ‘elevation’ that can only last for so long wherein the rest of this reality is absolutely side viewed and disregarded, because I accepted and allowed myself to only care about me, my satisfaction and this becoming part of the army of egotism as a ‘lifestyle’ wherein we as human being compete against each other, create deliberate conflict in order to be on top of others, deliberate cheat and lie to become ‘better’ than others in our own minds – and i f such results are not fulfilled, we veer to a negative reinforcement wherein the opposite experiences are embraced in order to get the same energetic experience yet within a not so popular way of creating our own personal heaven, which is how paraphilias and so called mental fetishisms are created, as such ‘special relationships’ that are not broadly accepted as ways to trigger out emotions/ feelings just the same way that light and love is broadly accepted as an energy trigger.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to believe that I could not be ‘someone’ unless  I was valued, worthy, recognized, appraised by others which meant that without the experiences that I would get from such relationships, I would perceive myself as non-existent, just because of the extent that I had delegated everything that I am as a physical breathing human body to only be running on energetic experiences at a mind level, wherein suffering or any perceived depression was equally satisfactory in a reversed manner, wherein I would get a kick out of that which is gloomy and depressive and sad/ dismal/ lugubrious/ obscure – without ever considering that I was living just the opposite side of seeking happiness, bliss, love, light and all the positive aspects that I deemed as ‘socially acceptable,’ which meant that my energetic-drive was a constant opposition toward that which was socially acceptable as good/ benevolent, which came from me designing myself a deliberate disruption to a perceived perfect world and stable environment, which means that

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to always want to get an energetic experience the moment that I perceived that ‘nothing was going on,’ which asserted me as only being ‘existent’ and ‘alive’ if I was desiring, looking forward to, expecting, seeking, wanting, desiring, as these energetic hooks that I would extend to something/ someone in order to keep that mind-relationship in place that I could use at any given moment to trigger a positive or negative experience out of, without ever realizing that I was merely confirming that negative experienced that ensued the moment that I separated myself form the whole in this individualization of ‘who I am’ as only a definition, an idea of self, a set of preferences and dislikes that can only exists as a particular configuration of ‘who I am’ wherein all actions, thoughts, deeds had a calculated outcome/ effect according to my input/ placing myself as the cause to obtain a result, which is what lead me to become like a hunter or a vampire in my reality wherein everything that I would say/ do/ think and live out would be in order to get an experience out of what I perceived others would do/ say/ convey as a result of my input, wherein I became an actual energy-hunter with strategies and energy-triggers that I embodied as ‘who I am,’ in order to get people’s attention and at the same time, be rejecting such attention which is the typical love-hate polarity game that we play in order to keep our poles as energetic devices that run on energy, which is what I used my physical body to do, just an energy transformer to fulfill my mind-elations.

 

 

“we’ve become beings within existence, that only exist for as long as we can power/empower ourselves from/of the transforming of our beingness substance into/as Energy – limiting the ‘time’ of our existence to the equation of the relationship between our substance and the consuming of that substance into energy. Where in the very nature/manifestation within ourselves as manifested-singularities in the beginning, we’d come into being as an individualized part/expression of/as substance, but immediately proceed with the processes of consuming our own substance/life and transforming it into energy. And as we continue within that process, we’re consuming our own ‘life’.” Sunette Spies [a]

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to get used to being constantly seeking and experiencing ‘something’ as giving name to that self-created and maintained experience at a mind level toward my reality and people wherein within this self-idealization as separate from the rest, all that was left for me to do is giving names, categorizing, assessing, valuing, devaluing this reality into a way that I could claim was ‘my own life’ as ‘my opinion’ about the world, as ‘my perspective’ as ‘my mind’ that I sought to have people ‘respect’ because I had taken the time to dissociate myself in specific elitist manners wherein not everything/ everyone could be part of my ‘specialized world’ in my mind wherein only ‘special beings’ and ‘special people’ and ‘special traits’ would be regarded as worthy of being in my mind-trophy wall of points that would make me feel good about myself/ others and the world as a point of relationship/ separation from who I really am, wherein I was making the statement of ‘I am an individual that exists as this specific configuration of separation as relationships that trigger a positive or negative experience within me, wherein I am nothing else but these experiences that I get from naming, identifying, judging, valuing, assessing others and everything in separation of myself, which is how I had lived as a knowledge and information robot that disregarded the very life essence that would allow such thoughts, such schemes, such experiences to continue as thoughts  in my head that would turn into experiences that would turn into ‘who I am’ in any given moment.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to live for and drive myself to seek the most ‘original ways’ as usually understood as that desire to be as ‘singular/ special/ unique’ as possible wherein deliberate fascinations as relationships to what which wasn’t ‘socially acceptable/ embraced’ became ‘my point of fascination’ wherein I believed that I was ‘unlike anyone else’ because no one that I knew would have the same likes and preferences, and in this, I felt ‘special’ and ‘rivalry-safe’ wherein anyone that could seemingly present a similar pattern of likes/ preferences in my world, I would immediately identify as a potential rival/ enemy that I had to overcome and out-do in any possible way, which implied I had to go a notch higher to identify myself with a more ‘extreme’ version of that which defined ‘who I am’ in order to always be able to remain as a ‘winner’ within the idea of who I am toward my environment and others in it.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to always put all effort, time and money to make of any experience within my life something that I could call ‘memorable’ as the creation and energy-input that I would give in order to get the most ‘fulfilling effect’ out of it, as a memory that I could keep/ cherish for further ‘remembrance’ as in being able to re-live that energy as ‘who I am’ in any given moment, just like the mechanism of revamping experiences through memories and get the same ‘experience’ that I had initially decided I would imprint such memory with, wherein my memories became ‘my life,’ the definition of me as events, people, places, words, things as the e-ccumulation of myself as this energized personality as my ego, as ‘my precious’ that I had carefully crafted in order to eventually, someday, be ‘proud of who I am’ as a lifetime achievement of these positive experiences that could make me feel like ‘more’ than who I am as the simplicity of a physical body here, that I never ever regarded as the actuality of who I really am, and instead having lived the exact opposite wherein ‘all that I was’ was this collection of memories, events, experiences that I could re-live/ re-vamp through bringing the memory here and getting the same energetic experience out of it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever believe that ‘who I am’ is this accumulation of energy as memories, experiences and ideas of myself in order to eventually be able to judge my life as successful, miserable or plain/ dull according to the expectations as dreams that I had set up for myself while growing up, wherein the pursuit of happiness was reinforced in school when having to write about our future and ‘where would we see ourselves in’ wherein if one would not achieve such dreams, I would deem my life as a failure; without realizing that it is within these future projections to ‘fulfill my dreams’ that I accepted and allowed myself to continue supporting the same system of incentives and rewards as ‘living’ wherein the accumulation of ‘who I am’ can be eventually considered as a successful living or not within my own mind and at the eyes of others.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘miss out on life’ because of constantly talking myself into an experience and seeking for some experience deliberately either positive or negative but ‘experiencing’ something as I feared my non-thinking and non-existence as not being experiencing something, which is the exact opposite of what is actually real, wherein being here breathing, moment by moment is living and any diversion from the physical moment as breathing, is indicating me a point of relationship as an experience that I have created within myself in separation of who I am.

I realize that within being here as a whole, I don’t require to ‘accept’ myself as something as I am it, – therefore I see the importance of walking all past relationships as the very manifestation of separation-codes that I created toward ‘others’ in my reality as a reference of my relationships toward everything/ everyone to keep my ‘personality’ in place, wherein I had to ‘have an opinion’ have an experience toward everything and everyone in order to be able to ‘relate to them,’ which was diminishing ‘who I am’ as a character seeking to establish relationships of acceptance/ rejection of others in separation of self, a complete cycle of segregation from the wholeness that I have neglected as who I really am.

 

I commit myself to walk my relationships as the point of responsibility that I hold toward myself as the whole as the points that I have created and deliberately participated in ensuing separation within the acceptance of me as a character/ personality/ ego that ‘had to’ have an experience toward reality, otherwise I would be seen as ‘character-less’ and ‘bland’ and ‘dead’ which is how I accepted to play the games of society to always be either in a positive or a negative experience for the sake of complying to what we have socially accepted as ‘living’ as being either happy/ fulfilled/positive experience or miserable/ depressed/negative experience, as the polarities that would invariably go up and down in each being’s life in order to maintain a polarized reality that would generate enough energy to keep our ‘heaven’ in place as a custom-made paradise that would apparently fulfill our dreams/ our lives as a reward of living an accumulation of good deeds within the score-kept to eventually believe that I could be ‘more’ at the end of my life than who I really am, which is ludicrous in nature – yet as real as the consequences/ effect of my initial belief within this energetic system as ‘who I am.’

 

I commit myself to walk the necessary writing, self forgiveness and self corrective application to walk my relationships as points of separation into ‘giving back to myself’ as the reintegration of myself as who I really am wherein all reactions created toward ‘another’ are recognized as self and as such, given-back to finally stop participating in generating energy to continue living as a e-ccumulation of experiences as ‘who I am,’ which is correcting my living from ego/ as energy experiences into an earthing-grounding-birthing myself as a physical being that does not require to thrive on energy to exist – but only establish equal agreements toward everything and everyone within the necessary relationships that we are currently existing as Life in this reality.

 

That implies that a practical way to stop all friction, all positive reinforcement and negative devaluing is through equalizing Money in this reality to finally recognize each other as equal-parts of who I am, as equal-cells of the body that I exist as wherein I realize within common sense how it is the only way that we can continue living in this world, otherwise cancer is created as an over-growth that indicates negligence toward the whole as who I am. For this the Equal Money System is the solution that will equalizing the playing field within humanity to start acknowledging each other as equals, while walking our individual processes of re-educating ourselves to grasp, understand and live the law of our being as equality as a living realization of who we really are.

 

 

I realize that keeping myself within the existence of ‘who I am’ as energy, I am ensuring my own depletion as keeping my ego in place implies I must consume the earth to exist as I am defining the ‘who I am’ in separation of the whole, which is how this reality has become the egofication as the fixations that we created and accepted as ourselves within our minds as experiences toward all in separation of ourselves. Thus for me to establish an equal and one recognition, I set agreements wherein no abuse is possible as such separation will recede as I walk a process of self-forgiveness to give myself back to myself, reintegrating myself to all the parts that I have defined myself in separation of.

 

 

Last Man on Earth

Last Man on Earth 2009

“The World-System of Money is consuming the very life of/as this physical existence, only because it’s on an existential scale it takes longer than what we do within ourselves and our own human physical bodies, where instead of this existence being manifested within the equal and one support of life and living – the World-System of Money is consuming this physical existence to its slow, sure but certain death. Rotting ourselves away from the inside and out, as we have become the very enzymes within our relationship to substance/physical as our relationships creations of energy that deteriorate and break-down substance/physical-tissue for our own survival as Energy-Consuming machines: Rotting ourselves away within and without – instead of standing equal-to and one with substance/physicality to produce life/living…” Accept and Allow – the Contract with Death: DAY 22

 

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Day 22: Wax and Wane – Attention Seeker Spoiler

Who we are as positive/ negative feedback received upon us deliberately seeking attention reveals to what extent we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be constantly seeking an energetic reward as a feeling or emotion. Both imply self definition at a mind level wherein we become a constant bolt that goes from cathode to anode and seeking to trigger the next reaction as ‘attention from others’ in order to continue existing as a self-definition that enhances every time that any form of attention is given to self as an idea, self as a set of traits that can be either categorized as positive or negative.

 

This comes from the realization that any desire to seek attention/ obtain attention became a ‘normal’ way of living for me as a child, wherein ‘who I am’ was built and crafted according to feedback that I would assess as points wherein I could fine tune the eventual ‘idea of self’ that I wanted to fully embody for the sake of my own personal glory. I realize that at the moment we can stand equal and one to our own mind to live out the traits that we can develop/adjust/ perfect in order to fine tune ourselves within this process of equalization wherein we are in a world that we can practically assist and support with becoming the living example of how we can use or mind in order to create and implement what’s best for all, instead of using the mind to strategize ways to always win and get our positive feedback upon it, maintaining the belief that ‘who I am’ can be ‘more’ or ‘less than’ accordingly.

 

This begins with notorious points throughout childhood of how I became an attention seeker, to the opposite pole of not wanting to be recognized/ seen for the same particular traits as I had in the past and onto the point where we are here wherein attention given by others to self is only acceptable within the context of assistance and support to reference ‘who I am’ within such feedback and how I can get to see points that I might be missing out within my own application, which is how it is important to always share who we are in any given moment – if experiencing anything as ourselves in order to walk through the process of seeing its origin and walking the necessary self-correction.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to always want to be part of ‘the action’ wherever it was taking place wherein as a child I would get pissed off and mostly feel ‘left out’ if I found out I was not informed about certain activities that were going to take place, wherein anger and irritation would ensue as a form of manipulation toward my parents/ family for not letting me know about it.

 

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that ‘the world was against me’ whenever I could not have my way and in that, justify anger as away to make my parents feel guilty and eventually try and ‘compensate Me’ for having ‘forgotten’ that I existed – which is how my mind would see the point to reinforce any perception of being unwanted, undesired and a constant nuisance for others.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to deliberately want to annoy my parents/ sisters to get their attention as I would find this as something ‘funny to do’ without realizing that I was seeking to be constantly getting an energetic experience of positivity through negative response – this means that the more they would get annoyed by me, the better ‘kick’ out of it I would receive. Within this I realize that who I was as an attention seeker was a deliberate game that I would instigate within my environment with family members in order to feel ‘good’ upon annoying them.

 

Who am I within this deliberate desire to annoy others to feel good? It is simply a desire to be constantly experiencing myself as someone that had the power to annoy another – and in that, get a positive reward for it as an energetic experience that I became defined by in order to constantly ‘keep’ this perceived spotlight upon myself.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel good whenever people in my environment would applaud anything that I had to say because it was apparently very ‘sensate’ and ‘mature’ for a child

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to learn that getting compliments would make me someone apparently ‘special’ and ‘unique’ as a child, wherein I would then constantly seek adult’s attention to get my positive reinforcement that would make up the sense of ‘confidence’ that was mostly built up by accumulating these positive feedback as bricks that built the ‘who I am at the eyes of others,’ which eventually had to fall as I grew up and went below zero from where I had to then put the pieces back together again after going through the exact opposite feedback upon ‘who I am within my life/ life choices’ which makes me realize that:

Every aspect that entails an energetic experience as a reinforcement toward the idea of myself as either a positive or negative way, eventually created a false idea of who I am as such positive feedback or negative feedback, that I accepted and allowed myself to ‘embody’ as ‘who I am’ wherein I got lost in the character and lost all sense of being simply here, as a physical living human being that doesn’t require a constant confirmation of ‘who I am’ as an idea, a belief, a character and persona at the eyes of others.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be deliberately extroverted as a child in order to get people – mostly adults’ attention – as I knew that this would make me ‘stand out’ from the rest and make me special, wherein everyone’s positive feedback upon my attitude, my skills, my abilities and hobbies would build up this elevated idea of ‘who I am’ as a ‘wunderkind’ wherein I then became an early inflated-ego while being around at home and within family, as opposed to the reserved, contained and sensate being that I portrayed myself to be at school during the same ages – from 5-10 more or less.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to enjoy being around adults more than kids during my childhood, because I became aware of how adults would mostly ‘praise’ the perceived maturity that I deliberately presented in order to get such positive reinforcement as the idea of ‘who I am,’ whereas with kids I was simply ‘another one’ which would not satisfy me at the level of getting this constant ‘kick’ as energy obtained from adults when receiving compliments and ‘positive feedback’ toward ‘who I am.’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to in my mind believe that all I was and had to ‘be’ was this amusing persona that would always have to be entertaining others to get their attention and in that, get my positive reward similar to the rush that one gets when eating candy and then eventually wanting more of it soon after the effect is gone.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to seek a positive experience as in feeling ‘more’ than who I was every time that I would want to show something that I had made/ drawn/ crafted/ done toward my parents as a means to get their attention and reward, wherein I would get specifically irritated whenever I ‘felt’ that they were merely condescending and not really paying attention/ giving ME the attention I desired – within this

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to go into an immediate low end from the expected ‘positive reward’ in my mind upon showing something to my father/ mother, wherein when I perceived they were only giving positive feedback in an automated way, out of condescending and only to ‘shut me off’ to keep doing what they were doing, I would wallow in an immediate ‘low’ which would be interpreted as ‘they don’t want to see what I did/ I rather not show them what I do ever again’ which became an actual living statement wherein I stopped sharing ‘my creations’ in such an open manner out of expecting them to only give a ‘light answer’ as positive reinforcement without giving the attention that I sought from them as an actual ‘thoughtful feedback’ upon ‘what I do.’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to seek to do art/ crafts in order to, in my mind, stop getting the attention as what had become a rather ‘annoying feedback’ in my mind after years of accumulating this positive feedback wherein I wanted to get rid of the ‘positive feedback’ through being able to be recognized for being more than a ‘brain that thinks,’ and in that, seeking to create art as a way to not have to articulate myself in such a thoughtful manner that could be directly judged as positive/ negative – but instead use images as another form of expanding the desire for attention without having this ‘smart/ intelligent’ suit on, as creating art could not entail a right or wrong, but only appreciating an individual expression that could not be graded the same way that words/ statements were. In this

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see and realize that I merely went from positive to a negative/ alternative way of getting the same feedback that would still be absorbed by me as a positive/ negative reinforcement toward my ego – this means that ‘who I am’ has always been at the expense of ideas, perceptions and beliefs that I have sought to obtain for others in means of asserting ‘who I am’ as a personality/ ego which is the same game we have all agreed to collectively play, giving each other ‘props’ within the belief that ‘who we are’ can be bettered/ uplifted and/or battered/down-rated by others’ words and opinions which include my own self-talk whenever I allow such words to influence myself in any way – either positively or negatively.

 

I realize that who I am has been an energetic mind game that merely sought attention as a constant drive-thru the gas station wherein the fuel I would get from others was not really about ‘others’ but about me creating an experience upon deliberately triggering reactions from others in means of asserting and creating/ recreating the idea that I made of myself in order to have a ‘special spot’ within a dog eat dog as the eternal battle and survivalism that we have existed within the current social context that we have created within this reality.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to later on seek attention through ‘opposition’ and creating a certain ‘shock’ within my reality through using an image and specific personality in order to ‘stand out from the crowd,’ which was a different dimension from the initial childhood desire to gain attention through ‘positive means.’ This time during my teenage years, I created a personality that would draw attention in an attempt to create a ‘rift’ within a ‘perfected world’ wherein my cautiously crafted ‘disruption’ could get any form of negative reaction/ remark that would function in a similar way to getting a kick out of any positive feedback.

 

Within this I realize how I have gone from pole-to-pole to essentially live out the same energy that I created from assessing others’ reactions, words, feedback upon myself as a constant confirmation that ‘I’ exist as a specific personality, which is and has become an essential human-mind trait in order to keep ourselves ‘enhancing’ our ego through either positive or negative feedback, without realizing that who we really are is neither of both.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever feel ‘good’ about getting positive feedback and feel ‘bad’ about getting negative feedback without realizing that with me taking others words as a positive/ negative reinforcement to ‘who I am’ as a personality is only me accepting and allowing myself to be a set of positive and negative traits, instead of taking the words as points or considerations that I can take on as mere assistance and support to see where I can align myself to a best for all scenario wherein no ‘feeling good/ superior’ is ensued by positive feedback and not ‘feeling low/ inferior’ is ensued by negative feedback. I realize that feedback is simply a point of referencing me through others wherein there is no right and wrong, but only point that I can be missing to see within myself.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire ‘asserting’ myself as existing within others’ lives/ worlds as a point of positive-incentive to ‘keep going’ within my life throughout the years, without realizing that within living as the constant expectation of getting the attention as the ‘reward’ for everything I do/say is only existing as an idea waiting to be uplifted or opposed to generate an equally fool-filling experience at a mind level to remain as the constricted version of ‘who I am’ as a set of values within words/ judgments, ideas, beliefs and perceptions of ‘who I am at the eyes of others,’ which implies separating myself from being such other eyes and realizing that I cannot possibly wax and wane according to words, I can only assert myself as living words that I and everyone else can live as a realization of who we really are and what is in fact supportive to adopt and implement in a practical way within our reality.

 

I see, realize and understand that an ‘attention seeker’ is only a dimension of self-created desire to continue asserting myself as an idea, which is deliberately instigating positive or negative feedback in order to get the necessary reinforcement at an ego-level, which is the entire mind construction that I have to walk to understand How I have created myself as these patterns that have not supported me to live effectively and coexist with other beings in a particular environment.

I see and realize that I can direct such attention back to myself whenever I see myself having any desire to get attention from others in order to see where and how I am still seeking for validation from others’ in order to continue assenting the ‘who I am’ as an ego, instead of actually stopping in the moment and letting go of the desire to get my ‘quick energetic fix’ by getting any positive or negative feedback which results in an experience within myself.

 

I commit myself to stop myself whenever I see myself deliberately wording myself out in order to get the attention that I see and realize I must give back to myself to see the relationship that I have created in such moment toward the person/ environment in which such desire and/or reaction emerges within my world.

 

I commit myself to expose how it is that a child becomes a rather constant attention seeker if being overloaded with positive reinforcement, no different to inflating balloons with hot air that eventually have to descend down to earth due to such ‘flying high’ not being sustainable as a living, constant reality of who I am.

 

When and as I see myself seeking validation from others toward what I say/ do – I stop and I breathe – I realize that only an ego can seek validation from another mind as egos feeding each other, instead of unconditionally taking another’s words as points of support to allow myself to expand beyond ‘feeing the idea of self’ wherein expansion ensues a point of self-realization to see where and how I have created a relationship toward such point of reaction in either  positive or negative way, in order to equalize myself as all that is here to no longer require to exist as an energetic-feedback requiring machine, but as a living-breathing-walking human being that can simply coexist in a physical way wherein feedback can only be a means to perfect and optimize our living application.

 

“Incentive – Inner sense initiative – transforming incentive into a living self-directive principled action, where one’s inner sense / commonsense initiate oneself into immediate action/change/living of self in a moment when commonsense is realised – and so incentive becomes like a momentary blast of life that sets one off into an explosion of commonsense living action – no more waiting/postponing living, and getting it done – so, get the incentive of self as life – get to commonsense living through writing, self forgiveness and self corrective application – no more waiting for change, but in fact living the change as self” Sunette Spies

 

 

Further support:


Day 17: Dedicated

1    devoted to a task or purpose.
2    exclusively allocated or intended for a particular purpose

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create a personality as being ‘dedicated’ within my reality as an energetic experience that must be ‘kept up’ in order to keep me satisfied within my application in relationships and activities, wherein actions, movements and self-direction is still coming from this idea of myself as being ‘dedicated’ and ‘devoted’ to that which I participate within, wherein I realize that everything that I do must be self-movement where no energy is required to impulse and motivate myself to continue my application within the personality construct as ‘being dedicated.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a particular neutral experience yet tainted with positivity as a dedicated person wherein I have defined myself as ‘being dedicated’ and in that, limiting myself within a frame of mind that I perceive is good/ beneficial yet, it’s not being lived unconditionally in all aspects of myself as an equal and one participation, but only dedicating myself to that which I have a particular preference for, which is then separation and requires proper attention in relation to how I am establishing relationships in equality toward everyone and everything that I participate in and interact with on a daily basis.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get a ‘nice feeling’ as satisfaction/ positive experience when perceiving myself to be ‘dedicated’ which is indicating me that I am not yet an absolute unconditional expression here as every moment, but still  moving myself from this particular personality-suit that I have become and lived as ‘who I am’ and never questioned it because of perceiving it as something ‘good’ to live by,without investigating the direct relationship that this holds to an entire personality suit that was brewed in separation throughout my life and school years, which implies that: it is stemming from an application in the past, it’s not yet fully here as self movement.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to give continuation to experiences and patterns that I have regarded as ‘beneficial’ such as dedication, which is usually rewarded with escalating positions in the system and earning more money according to how obedient/ efficient a person is, which I see and realize is the only fuel that has kept this entire system of hierarchy functioning, by creating false personal convictions as positive attributes as a motivation to move in separation of self, because of always having ‘the ultimate reward’ as a background application that is implied within this ‘dedication’ that we live by in this world – this is because of everything being linked to and stemming from the existence of our lives being hooked to a monetary system, which inevitably implies that all our living-aspects are tainted with the inequality that the money system represents.

 

This implies that the way to correct dedication and equalize it as an expression that is unconditional as myself, requires me to establish myself as the starting point of everything I do – me supporting me within the realization that there is nothing to ‘attain’ or ‘earn’ or ‘win’ here, other than supporting myself to establish that self-stability and ability to move unconditionally, which is linked to being willing myself to move, act, direct without having a motivation to do so, without having to ‘overcome’ another application such as laziness – but moving by principle: I express, I direct myself here as breath – moment by moment.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see dedication as a separate application of myself wherein I imprint a particular ‘positive’ experience toward getting things done/ tasks/ projects/ activities in various ways, wherein there is still a sense of ego enhancement about it which must be equalized and simply accept dedication as an expression of myself, integrate it as what I can be the moment that such dedication is a moment to moment, breath by breath application that is not separate from anything else that I do in any given moment, nor is it determined by ‘who I was’ in the past – it is not only devoted to a particular set of activities in my world, but is an ability that I accept as who I am and what I can be and express as myself as being dedicated to myself first and foremost and to life, to support myself and others in an equal manner as that is what I have decided to dedicate myself/ my life for.

 

I commit myself to see dedication as a living application wherein everything that I do is within the starting point of supporting myself, slowing down and actually placing attention to the details and specificity required – that I have to work with – without generating a ‘feel good’ experience about it in my mind, but simply as a living constancy and consistency as the directive principle that I am establishing within myself.

 

This is thus to stop any dimensional shifting the moment that energy is accessed when getting into an ‘experience’ of being dedicated, and then having to ‘keep up’ that experience – instead of living dedication in every moment that I am here breathing, and being aware of my physical body, wherein the actual dedication is not shifted to ‘accomplishing tasks’ but to live, to dedicate myself to remain here, aware of my breathing as I see and realize that breathing is the key to stop any dimensional shifting in my mind and accessing ideas, beliefs and perceptions according to the ‘score’ that is kept throughout time as the past within the experience of ‘being dedicated’ as a ‘positive attribute’ within myself as a personality.

 

I realize that I am able to ground and physically integrate such dedication as life, here as breath – that is the actual challenge here as that will allow me to dedicate to myself stepping out of the mind and into the physical where no inkling of energetic experience is implied within moving myself. Self willed self movement is the expression of who I really am as life, which implies no positive, negative or neutral experience can be created if I remain constant and consistent moving here as breath.

That is the practical direction here: dedicating myself to breathe and stop any mind-projections as pats on my back for feeling myself as being ‘dedicated.’

All positive egotistical aspects must be debunked in order to ensure that ‘who I am’ as the ego of the mind, as the energized personality I’ve lived by throughout my life, is effectively returning back to the ground wherein I make sure that I do not participate in any positive or negative experiences and start investigating what I have accepted as a ‘default’ experience within me, which is neutrality as the point wherein I do not question ‘who I am’ in this moment, which I see is quite pertinent to start investigating.

I remain here as the physical, and stop accessing further props and ego-enhancers within this living process. No energy required to keep myself dedicated to life.

 

Further Support:

Reptilians – Where is Life – Part 28

Learning more about walking this Process with absolute self-awareness and how to simplify our application to make it a breath by breath living application and not a constant inner-struggle toward ourselves as our own mind.

Blogs of the Day:


Day 9: Politeness

I’ve been having in the back of my head how I developed the survival system of behaving politely/ in a socially acceptable manner since I was a little child. This is mostly to how I was raised by my parents and other socioeconomical factors that have created definitive ‘marks’ on who I am as my behavior.

 

The image that comes to my mind is a picture that I saw once in my photo album from my first years alive and I am placing a napkin hanging from the collar of my t-shirt with a rather righteous/haughty/ fancy look and my mother is next to me looking at the camera. Another one is a picture of me with a paper-made crown sitting on a sofa, like a ‘throne’ for a queen when I was just 2 and a half years old; there’s another one of me sinking my hands in a bucket of water while my then nanny is crouching down and looking at me, probably warning me about getting all wet and that I should not sink all my arms into the bucket of water that was probably as tall as my waist line. My father’s car is in the background which means I wanted to clean it just the way he does, I was only 3 years old then. There’s also pictures of me having these huge headphones and sitting next to a tape recorder while having my mouth open, which means I was singing. Well, all those points developed into defined personalities such as being always holding a napkin on my hand while eating as a symbol of ‘proper manners’ and eating behavior, being a cleanliness freak, being a ‘music lover’ and being a self-righteous ego on two feet within a sense of having some domain or specialness in me. And I was only 2 to 3 years old in all of those photos.

 

So this point came up as something to write about when listening to some interviews today in relation to observing behavior, which is one dimension that I have not fully delved into looking myself as behavior linked to the personalities that I developed throughout the years. I tested out a word to write about today and ‘manners’ came up which is then how this whole point opened up.

 

Being polite is one of the main ‘characteristics’ and behavior that I play out when being with people and ‘in public,’ and the image of my father playing to be a polite soldier comes up, actually my mother would call me something like little tin soldier when I was a little girl, which probably explains a lot as well. Okay but not to deviate from the point. My father would always let us know to ‘be still!’ and basically both my parents educated us in such a way that we would act like little grown up people.

 

This politeness got imprinted ‘heavily’ later on from when I was 6-7 years when socializing with my parents friends whom I perceived as ‘more than’ because of essentially having quite a lot of money and having these huge houses and living in cool residential areas that I would enjoy going to play to. In that, I would perceive such world as everyone being ‘polite’ – which is how I’ve linked it to being ‘political’ in the character/way of being that politicians act like, which is basically focusing on presenting a particular façade to play safe all the time when being in public.

 

‘Keeping a good image’ was something also induced by my mother, hers was mostly in the ‘expressive’ aspect of watching my mouth and not being ‘impertinent’ when speaking to people –my father focused on the physical behavior, like telling us to sit properly and crouching down to always pull up my socks and ensuring my shoes are clean. I’m laughing because of how much I simply accepted that as ‘normal’ and that’s why I had such a hard time interacting with other kids because they didn’t give a fuck about manners and being polite or getting their clothes dirty – so I developed a judgmental experience toward anyone that ‘would not be polite’ = being a regular human being, really.

 

Till this day I’ve caught myself going into a reaction the moment that I perceive that someone is Not being polite as in ‘taking advantage of a position’ – like someone wanting to win a place in the queue for something – or getting one step ahead of me to have a better place while waiting for the train, seemingly ‘unnoticeable events’ wherein I have automated responses of criticizing and judging people because of them not being polite.

 

The points that I’ll be walking and opening up are aspects of myself that I had not opened up for having them as ingrained belief systems that I deemed as ‘positive’ and in that, thinking that I should not bother to look at them, without realizing that there is actually a great part of myself ‘hidden’ behind these seemingly cool attributes that I’ve lived so far. As long as there is an entire indoctrination system behind it, I must investigate it, which means that no matter how ‘cool’ I perceive a point that I’m living to be, I must investigate it to make sure that whatever I am building/ creating and establishing myself here as, is based on actual self-understanding of How I got to be ‘who I am’ at the moment – in such case, how ‘manners’ exist as a belief system charged with a positive experience wherein the ‘negative’ is created the moment that I, through my politeness-filter of reality, judge and criticize everyone that I believe are Not polite and within that Not ‘humanly’ enough to interact with.

 

This means that I’ve created of my ‘politeness’ an elitist system wherein I believe that a well-educated being will have certain attributes that make them consider others before them, a way of perpetual altruism that often evokes a ‘good feeling’ out of it, which means it is an energetic-based personality and not an unconditional expression of self, as a sense of neighborism that is acquired within the basic principle and understanding of What’s Best for All as Equals.

 

I’ll be continuing opening up different aspects and dimensions of this ‘manner’ point as the behaviors ingrained with personalities throughout different stages of my life, which I had not opened up in fear of them being almost ‘self-glorifying’ yet suppressed and still existent within me, which means that every time I suppress it, I am recreating it and accepting it as ‘part of myself/ who I am’ without even noticing it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as ‘politeness’ as a behavioral pattern that I had deemed to be ‘positive’ and ‘good’ for myself within the belief that being polite is an attribute that all people should live by, as that would make our coexistence ‘easier’ in this world, without considering that it is actually only an experience that I have created based on survival as the improved acceptance that a polite person gets within society and certain socieconomical stratus wherein money dictates the education that a person has, and in that, the behavioral patterns that denote a person’s ‘quality of living’ and parental values at home.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give continuation to a behavioral pattern such as ‘having good manners’ from the starting point of revealing/ showing that ‘I am well educated’ and in that, creating an ideal of who I am as ‘my education’ as ‘my family’ and ‘values’ that I have given to a certain behavior wherein I then judge/ criticize anyone that cannot fit into a category of being well-educated/ polite, without realizing how this is a belief system that I have adopted and continued in the name of representing ‘who I am’ as a configuration based on how my parents wanted us to ‘be’ within the social context wherein high-education, manners and ‘values’ are highly regarded, which would ensure our survival and positioning in the world system within a high-stratus in society.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that a person with ‘good manners’ is well educate as a synonym of being ‘a good neighbor’/ good person which implies that I have created my own elitist value schemes toward people according to how I see them through my politeness-filter personality, which implies that I will only ‘mingle’ with those that I perceive as educated, well mannered and polite according to how I was taught I should be/ behave as a little child at home.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a superiority experience within me whenever I see myself being ‘polite’ toward people and getting an ‘instant-gratification’ reward such as being thanked for doing something for another which is then implying that my ‘politeness’ is not an unconditional common sensical expression of and as self, but still an energetic personality that I try to keep up to, without realizing that in this, anything that steps out of my ‘politeness schemes’ I judge and criticize as lower/ inept/ rascal/ savage, without realizing that this is how I have had such an immediate judgmental behavior toward people while interacting in reality, due to how I have been conditioned to believe that polite people are ‘worthy’ and the opposite are ‘unworthy,’ in this

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize how politeness/ well mannered people is linked within my belief system to having enough money and in a certain social position that I have been taught is ‘more valuable’ than someone that is uneducated/impolite/ rascal/ savage according to the judgments that I learned as the way to denote someone that would probably not have enough money to be ‘well educated’ and in that, accepting the point of discriminating people according to the amount of money they would have, while absolutely neglecting and not even considering why on Earth such polarities even exist.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having regarded my parent’s imprinting onto myself as ‘good manners’ as something that I had to be grateful for, without realizing the actual belief system as elitism that I accepted and allowed to exist within me when linking good manners to ‘affluent people’ and bad manners/ impolite people to ‘lower class/ moneyless people’ and in that, creating a positive experience toward ‘fellow polite people’ and a negative experience toward ‘impolite people,’ as well as a neutral experience to people that I would perceive as expression-less within not being decidedly polite or impolite, which would be then linked to undefined within my schemes of human categorization according to education and money.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a sense of comfort and openness as an experience created upon interacting with someone that I perceive and profile as being ‘well educated/ polite’ within the identification of that which I was taught I should be like and aspire to become, which I accepted as a valuable aspect within human beings which lead me to create a positive experience within myself whenever I behave in a ‘polite manner,’ while creating the exact opposite as a negative experience as the immediate profiling of people that I perceive to be savage/ uneducated/ impolite, which I have accepted to discriminate/ judge in my mind while believing that I didn’t want anything to do with such people, creating the ultimate elitist experience based on manners.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that ‘How I behave’ is who I really am.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still perpetuate the ‘ingrained values’ that I acquired at home, that I have kept due to them being seemingly ‘positive attributes’ within my personality, without realizing that it is in these ‘values’ that I have perpetuated the existence of good/ bad, positive and negative as well as neutral experiences toward people according to How I deem them to be within my polite/ impolite schemes, as the manners they present on face value when interacting with people in any given moment.

 

When and as I see myself categorizing someone as polite and creating a positive experience within me toward them, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am accessing my politeness-filter wherein I am valuing and regarding the people as ‘good’ and ‘benevolent’ based on the attitudes and manners that they present. Therefore I realize that I must treat every person equally regardless of how they ‘present’ themselves, as I realize that such manners are a survival-masquerade to remain as ‘worthy’/ ‘valuable’ within a system where money decides who is ‘worthy’ and who is not and seeing good manners as the direct consequences of having money to be well educated, in this creating a positive experience toward people with money.

 

When and as I see myself judging a person as being ‘impolite’/ presenting bad behavior such as ‘bad manners’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am accessing the politeness-personality wherein I am then adjusting my experience to be negative and derogatory toward such being for being seemingly ‘uneducated’ and a ‘rascal’ without considering at all that I am creating such separation based on the link that I’ve created in my mind as ‘bad manners = poor education’ as a symbol to represent lack of money/ being poor, which I have created and associated a negative experience toward.

 

I realize that with me stopping the polite/ impolite judgments toward myself and others, I stop perpetuating the current money system wherein rich/ wealthy creates a positive experience while poverty/ lack of money represents and creates a negative experience, as well as the non-expressive people that I have judged as ‘mediocre’ which are all values I have separated myself from in relation to the same values we have separated ourselves from life through/ as money.

More to come…

 

Blogs of the day:

 

Interview support:

2012: The Secrets of Competition

 

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Witnessing: You’re Equally Responsible

 

It’s easier to expect a ‘better life once you’re dead’ than taking the necessary actions to LIVE in this world through supporting/creating solutions that can enable Life on Earth for all as Equals.

People seek ‘peace of mind’ and ‘tranquility’ which are part of the teachings that ‘masters’ such as Buddha  left on this world: ‘you’re not your body, just relax and chill’

Following some feedback on the video that I talked about yesterday, I’ve been called out for having ‘no faith’, for being ‘negative’ and ‘soulless’ – I can say I have no faith, yes and I am definitely soulless as everyone else in this world now. This person also speaks about daydreaming people that are walking for the same ‘common outcome’ that I am speaking about there as Equality, a dignified living for all –

Though, the obvious question is: how on Earth could I create a world that’s best for all only by wishing, hoping, witnessing, admiring, ‘thinking positive’ and hopping on chanting songs around a bonfire? Okay, that’s quite a cliché I admit, though it’s certainly the type of ‘relax and just chill’ attitude that spiritualists/ light&lovers/ general daydreamers and fantasy people talk about. They will most likely have some type of spiritual-agenda behind their enlightened ideas of ‘do nothing, let it all just ‘be’, smoke of this and be at peace’.

 

Now, what this particular person claimed is that I’m speaking from ‘Reason’ while they pretend/claim to be speaking from ‘the soul’ as in considering all the fuzzy feelings and emotions that make the infamous human, a ‘human’.  It’s obvious that this is not about reason or not, but words and sentences that can simply describe the actuality of this reality and the actual physical points that require to be taken into consideration if one is actually willing to/ interested in creating a world wherein Life is actually existent for all in/as Equality.

 

I’ve also just now read another comment pointing out how such human nature is existent at a genetic level and can’t be changed. Welly-well we’ve got a situation here, we got people justifying the current ways we’re living in because of our DNA and genetic predisposition, without even daring to question such programming, let’s not even say ‘daring to challenge it and change it’ because according to this person’s reasoning, it would be most likely impossible to do such a thing.

 

With these two examples on accepting spirituality/daydreaming/wishing and hoping as ‘means of change’ in this world and accepting the ‘human nature’ as immovable/ unchangeable  we can have a clear perspective on how it is through

 

Buddha was the ultimate ‘witness’ of this world and left this idea that bliss was created through detaching from everything of this world as yourself –

 

Just one quality of the Buddha has to be remembered. He consists only of one quality, witnessing. This small word witnessing contains the whole of spirituality. Witness that you are not the body. Witness that you are not the mind. Witness that you are only a witness. As the witnessing deepens, you start becoming drunk with the divine. That is what is called ecstasy.
– Osho

By passing this as ‘truth’ as usually accepted and venerated by people that follow the so-called ‘masters’, we then have a greater view on what people that have posted such comments/perspectives can be considering as part of their ‘views on the world’: be a witness, you’re only passing the Earth by, go sit down a tree and let go of the world, be at ease, chill out.

[No wonder such Buddha bar cd’s are made for getting drunk and literally chilling out while pretending everything is fine in this world… ]

 

“Becoming drunk with the divine!” Isn’t that what we’ve all done while being immersed in our thoughts and being self absorbed not considering at all the reality as this world that we live in and how ‘god’s master plan’ was to simply keep us entertained with things like ‘our thoughts’/feelings/emotions’ and spirituality to cultivate such bullshit as a way to simply not take an actual look at this world and question the current establishment/functionality and inner-workings of this entire reality – now who’s been duped here?

 

Osho/Buddha and most likely any other ‘master’ talk about following an experience – this is obviously what people that commented also defend: human nature/ humanity as an experience that seeks to be perpetuated without having to actually take on the necessary steps to do so.  By focusing on the ‘invisible side’ tagged as ‘spirituality’, all atrocities, the matter-dystopia in which we are currently living in is then ‘accepted as it is’, is ‘only witnessed’ not to be questioned or bothered by – what a load of crap we have indulged in as humanity. Having people till this day claiming that these characters were ‘enlightened’ and ‘all knowing’ is simply proof of how deluded we are/ have been.

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In contrast or the pole-effect of such ‘blissful’ characters usually praised and hailed by white-robbed people, we have characters of this same reality such as Hitler.

When reading and watching Hitler’s series through the Interdimensional  portal within  the Desteni material, it all made sense and became clear on how Forgiveness is the key. Though an initial barrier of fears and brainwashing had to be stopped to do so and the realization also was: if Hitler has forgiven himself then everyone/everything can.

Such ‘barrier’ is the extensive brainwashing we’ve all been subject to through our “education” that is proposed by those that keep the entire system in place.

Ironically, Hitler’s being the point used as bait for banning purposes upon the Desteni message – that says it all in relation to humans being easily brainwashed and holding grudges as ideas/beliefs according to the history that’s being told without even daring to see the current holocaust that we’re creating through several means towards all life. This is also linked to that ever-convenient attitude of only ‘being a witness’ and not actually daring to face the consequences of this world and create a change that will stop the abuse towards life/ourselves and ensure that we create and place a world that’s best for all for all time to come.

Opposing self forgiveness is in fact denying life and our ability to create a second-chance for all to live within this world. By saying we ‘can’t change our nature, we’re opposing Self Forgiveness, by saying that ‘we must allow it all to be’ we are opposing self forgiveness as it can only result in inaction and negligence towards Self Responsibility as actually taking care of the current problems we’ve created within this world beginning with ourselves.

 

We require as humanity to STOP seeking out a ‘blissful experience’ by all means, to stop seeking a ‘peace of mind’ because it’s obvious that it’d be like wanting to keep yourself in a clean bubble while the outside is filled with dirt and scum.

We’re all in this together now and we’ve got to open eyes to see that this is Not about ‘negativity’ but realism – this is not about being ‘soulless’ but having the entire understanding of how we had been conditioned by such soul/preprogrammed lives of endless cycles wherein we’ve disregarded ourselves as the perpetrators of the current abuse of life wherein people such as Hitler have been satanized forevermore, without even daring to question how people are nowadays waging wars for decades and are not being equally regarded as criminals and placed under the same scrutiny that has been inflicted upon others.

 

All of this malarkey has a single solution: Self Forgiveness because the madness of this world can be stopped from continuing and being perpetrated within each one of us.

We can only be held back by memory – if there is no memory but actual allowance of Self-Forgiveness to start clear from the moment on, we can create a new world based on a constant self-forgiveness application until Equality and Oneness is Here as a reality in this world.

This sounds nice – though to create it, will take you and I and many +1’s  more to do so, so let’s do it – this means, we’ve got to stop being all sorts of ‘witnesses’ that can be completely aware of how this works yet do nothing about it and instead, become the change that we have to create in this world.


Spirituality and Capitalism Make sweet love through Hicks

“Abundance is inevitable”  – What a load of bullshit

We’ve come across these videos – I’ll say no more for an introduction, let’s get directly on to this:

Ignorance is Bliss

Some reference on this ‘entity’:

Abraham Hicks is the collection of material created by Esther Hicks channeling a group of spirits referred to as nonphysical beings from approximately 1989 to the present day. Abraham was the name chosen by the nonphysical beings.Abraham Hicks material is available in book form, audio form, and in recordings and transcripts of workshops, a question and answer period where people ask Abraham Hicks questions in front an audience.

From the video:

Abraham-Hicks: Abundance is Inevitable

Nobody can demand anything of you that you don’t wanna give”

Okay, so if a man comes behind my back with a cutter pointing on my throat asking for my wallet, am I actually compelled to say ‘Nobody can tell me what to do’? Seriously as comical as this may seem, Hick has no fucking clue of this reality.

Same applies for rapists and all types of abusers that simply demand that you do as your life depends on it- or should we come up with the great quote ‘nobody can demand anything from me that I don’t want to do/give’ – clueless.

“The universe is on your side, things are all lined up for you” and other vibrational bullshit along the lines suggesting that we simply have to think about the coolest shit in the world and the universe must comply to our grandiloquent minds – oh wow.

So, how come the ‘universe’ isn’t on the side of the people starving in Somalia-  yet again – how come that the universe isn’t on the side of people that must take on jobs that offer slim to none abilities of actual self-development and enjoyment and STILL remaining on an slavejob wage ? Huh? How come THEY haven’t gotten to experience the energies in their vortex that much to create such apparent self-righteousness that this person so willfully rants about? What on Earth – and I’m containing the most cursing possible here, not sure If I should because this surely creates fucking anger to know there’s people actually living this way, backchatting themselves with positive bullshit.

How come MONEY hasn’t come for people in ANY way – how come there are more and more people on the streets nowadays, how come people then have lost their homes, jobs and their debts have doubled up? How come MONEY can’t just seem to find ‘its way’ to your pocket – what is wrong with the universe then, maybe needs a google map to get to your door and deliver itself? I mean, seriously – what on EARTH can people in this world, fellow human beings, be having in their brains when indulging in this.

Hicks wants money flowing and ‘they’ are promoting to be the ‘creators of our own reality’ in such a desperate way as to accept the current economics of negligence as a way to then ‘cherish’ the ability to have money in ‘better times’ .

How the fuck could asking for MORE MONEY to the ‘Universe’ create a solution that’s best for all? How could create further printed money as DEBT create any beneficial long-term solution? Hicks has no clue of economy nor any basic understanding of how money operates.

How could someone promoting further prostitution within the same current fucked up system we’re living in which is the capitalist system be any actual solution within this world? isn’t it absolutely mad and ludicrous to even conceive that as a ‘solution’?

How on Earth something that essentially promotes self-centered quench of desires be of ANY actual value/worth as LIFE – how could anyone ever indulge into only wishing and desiring shit to work FOR YOUSELF ONLY wherein you save your ass, wherein you make sure that YOU have money to keep ‘flowing’ in this world – isn’t that insane?

I can definitely say that the Universe hasn’t knocked on my world providing me money to live, I’m definitely sure the ‘Universe’ hasn’t gone to the shacks of people starving giving them money to live – I mean, I can be quite acid about this but certainly, this type of information must be Banned from existence as it obviously enhances the delusional nature that the human mind exists currently in.

“I’m willing to relax and let it come to me”  How wondrous! now we know why spirituality is such a nice feel-low-so-fee for everyone that follow, because It certainly doesn’t challenge a single thing of what you are LOL! It actually enhances the inherent greedy, selfish, power-craving attributes that we’ve gotten as part of our marvelous self as the mind – isn’t it just great to have such white robes hiding the most disgusting perfect plan to keep humanity enslaved? Amazing, that’s how love and light and laws of attraction should be BANNED from our reality as they are worst that torture instruments in the inquisition as they are in essence messages/words that are getting into people’s minds to keep nurturing the bloodsucking tick that is this system by their own ‘thoughts’ and ‘will to the universe’ – what an overall fuckup.

So you want the fun job that pays more so that you can have your ‘path of least resistance’ – fascinatingly fuckedup – spirituality and capitalism never made love in such a kinky way.

How come ‘abundance’ hasn’t flowed in the rivers that literally wash away houses, how come the only abundance we get is that of abuse, rape, murders, violence, abundant hunger, misery, poverty, abundant threats, abundant homeless people, abundant bullshit on TV and in the media, abundant self-destructive and self-hatred thoughts, abundant backchat about one another, abundant ways to harm and rape the Earth, abundant desires to have it all which in essence means you must take away from someone – that’s the single dirty little secret that NO ONE dared to explain to you in terms of how this reality operates as a mathematical Equation.

None will be free till all is free from these eternal fucked up poles wherein people ‘asking for abundance’ are the direct perpetrators of people dying of starvation in Somalia, of people being exploited more and more everyday through sex trafficking for women, children and males as well.

I could rant on forever, I get the sense that this makes me extremely mad because of the ignorance that we’ve lived in – I once was there obviously and I’m definitely HERE aware of the bullshit that’s being peddled in this world and I’m here to simply expose it for what it is, exposing the common sense that has never been SEEN for what it is – it’s so much easier to follow a ‘spiritual path’ – all suits the needs for the system to rejuvenate itself: ask for more money so you can keep BUYING as that’s the only fucking way this system can keep a hold of itself and in place – what a marvelous plan! what a sugar-coated candy cane we got here – yet we’ve all indulged into it.

Who could be smart enough to only generate a system that can be in ‘optimum condition’ if you’ve got people consuming all the time – it is simply too ludicrous we’ve accepted and allowed this to exist for such a long time.

Investigate the Equal Money System because we’re certainly not willing to allow more human beings to be deluded by these type of easy-eating cherry-pie pieces of information wherein you’ve got NOthing to do but ‘sit and relax’ and accept everything that comes ‘your way’ – asking to the ‘universe’ and pretending that ‘everything is fine’

This Must End – and we are Here to End it for once and for all.


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