Tag Archives: positivity

129. Will Love and Lighters end up Killing People?

All the positive babble exists as a cover up to the Extreme Fear that exists within ourselves as part of our who we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become as the mind, which is certainly NOT Benevolent, and this has been explained throughout many, many hours of interviews within the Desteni Material that’s being published on a regular basis – and recorded daily – available at Eqafe. Now, paraphrasing The Soul of Money – Fear and the Law of Attraction – Part 32 How on Earth can we think, believe or perceive that Energy in any way can change this physical existence? And I’m not even going to talk about the Law of Attraction particularly here, but more about the actual fucked up counter-effects that must be realized and taken into absolute consideration in order to Open up our EYES to see what type of hell we’re creating for all equally every time that we indulge to seek for all ‘the good’ and ‘light’ and ‘love’ as peddled by several masters, light workers and your regular Jesus follower – repeat: follower.

 

Disclaimer’s notice:
A punctual fact to avoid misinterpretation and or potential claims of slander: This blog is for the purpose of exposing that which  many human beings are NOT willing to accept exists within our thoughts. This is an educational blog that serves as a point of reference in order to give actual self-support for people that may encounter themselves creating positive feelings to cover up potential Real harm toward other human beings. Assist and support yourself with it instead.

 

Lieght

 

Who we are as the Mind existing in positive and negative thoughts as feelings and emotions?

Let’s look at a white light slim-line tube: electricity bounces back and forth from Cathode – the negatively charged pole –  to the positively charged pole, the Anode. Due to the velocity that the energy bounces back and forth we cannot see this light bolt happening, we only get to see the apparent constant stable beam of milky white light that ‘enlightens’ our night. Now,  this light is exactly similar in nature to the energy we are constantly generating through our participation in the mind, existing as that blinding imposed invisible light that are the thoughts, feelings and emotions; however, the point to realize is how to generate so ever-lasting surrogate company as our mind that experiences life as an energetic sparkle all the time, is actually only able to exist through/by consuming/gnawing our very own physical flesh/tissue in order to generate such a perfect ‘stream of consciousness’ that is our mind, that apparently divine white light that as our thoughts, emotions, feelings and any general mind-activity that is absolutely invisible and intangible to our physical 5 senses – yet, we act upon it and we live according to what goes on in our minds. Hum, what’s wrong with this picture?

 

Why do we practically use light?

We use a light because we don’t want to remain in darkness, we’ve been taught that ‘we must fear the dark’ as children– yet in terms of who we really are as physical beings, darkness is who we are: there is no light inside our body to circulate our blood or digest our food, the body is not afraid of the dark, it is ourselves as the eyes of the mind that perceive light as all the relationships that are existent within our reality, no different to all the thoughts that run rampant in our minds generating a positive or negative experience within ourselves all the time – that’s the ‘light’ of ourselves, that’s our ‘light on’ all the time that we keep ‘on’ because of our ingrained ‘fear  of the dark,’ where everything is pitch black because there is no friction causing light to be seen, there is no movement, just silence, stillness and that’s what we are actually able and capable of  living as in our day-today-living and ‘waking’ reality once that we start walking a process of Self-Forgiveness in Self Honesty to start seeing Who We Are if we stop participating in the constant coming-and-going from cathode to anode as thoughts generating either negative or positive experiences that only exist within ourselves: they are thus Not Real.

 

The Dark as Nothingness

The absence of light is so feared –  there is no energetic spark going back and forth generating enough friction to generate light. We then see the energy as this ‘beautiful light’ yet, we are unaware of the friction that causes and generates this friction in the first place, which is in the case of our own minds creating an entire positive experience that bounces off from an absolute negative point,  which is the current ‘normal’ state of being’ as human beings and also the reason why we are always trying to generate a positive feeling and experience in order to be suddenly ‘lifted up’ from the negative to the positive, without realizing that there is a definitive friction that must be ‘kept in place’ to keep the white light on. The same goes on in our minds.

For further reference listen to: The Soul of Money – The Interconnection between Thoughts, Energy and Light – Part 5

 

Love and Light VS Hate and the Dark

If we have a look at the world, all wars, all conflict, all friction from a single inner-battle in our minds to world-wars is a conflict generated from the perceived positive against the perceived negative that we have acquired/ adopted from those that have gone before us – nothing else but a mere belief system placed to cause deliberate conflict. I strongly suggest you read the blog on Morality written by Esteni De Wet who explains one of the several dimensions that exist as morality, which is one of the primary causes and pillars of our current ‘distress’ that we exist as when having a polarized view of our reality.

 

Everything that is here of this world as physicality just IS – there is no tags or barcodes or statistics that indicate us what is to be seen as positive and what is to be seen and regarded as negative. We are the ones that impose these values that are created in our minds and imposed onto the physical, no different to how we have created our monetary system of ‘profit’ and ‘debt’ while using the constancy and consistency of a physical world to generate the actual ‘goods’ that are sold for profit – not to mention the living beings such as animals that are also part of our self-abusive system. The Earth as nature does have/show ‘negative numbers/ red numbers:’ it is us that are now extracting the resources to the point of depletion that are assessing now an actual physical loss.

And, the question is WHY are we causing this Loss as the physical world that is here? Simple: we are using/  abusing the physical reality in order to generate our Positive experience powered by Lights as the symbol of an apparent civilization that thrives in a ‘shining light’ without ever considering what must be consumed in order to sustain what is and has become an artificial living within our world. Why artificial if everything is ‘Natural’? Because we are using artifacts/ means/ ways to create an apparent comfortable/ joyous/ copious and abundant life out of the inherent and necessary abuse to generate such positivity.

 

Your De-Light is Made out of Someone’s Dis-Grace

An Easy example: how can I now be experiencing the joy of my coffee at the moment? Several indigenous people had to work for months to take care of coffee plants that they are bound to in order to have an ability to take proper care of their plantations, dedicating their days to ensure that the weather and conditions are adequate to keep the plantations in a mint state, so that they can eventually be reaped and seek for a buyer that is willing to take it. This pay is definitely not fair as anything else in this world wherein Money does not equate Life. The coffee cultivators are paid close to nothing for their hard work while the distributer and seller makes an excellent business from it, creating as much as 100 percent of profit – or more – from a job that is certainly not remunerated well at all. Then me as the happy coffee consumerist, go and buy that coffee, being oblivious to the processes behind me having these now roasted beans ready to be brewed into my ‘De.Lightful coffee cup’ – and this is just one single example of EVERYTHING in our world that is built upon abuse, and I didn’t go as far as talking about the lives of the people that cultivate coffee such as:  their financial problems, their lack of education, the lack of money to expand their crops, the lack of understanding of the capitalist world so that they could sell and commercialize their own coffee – YET we are delighted with our coffee cup. This is how a positive experience stems from a negative experience, and this can be applied to all and everyone in our reality.

 

Hence the reason why when talking about bogus like ‘Love’ and ‘Abundance’ and ‘Prosperity’ and ‘Happiness’ and ‘Bliss’ among other words are just euphemisms for the human-driving-force that Money and Sex represent as the ultimate ‘goal’ in any thinking being. How limited have we become: being consumed by a desire to just be a freaking spark as energy bouncing from cathode to anode in the white-light slim line tube that seeks all means and ways to just continue generating that friction in order to produce the majestic white bright light that EnLIEghtens our hearts, and fills us with JOY! Oh great! and… where is the abuse behind this bright blinding light? Everywhere behind the processes of that enchanting delight.

This is how our world is created at the moment.

 

In the next blog, I’ll continue explaining How it is that I am saying that Love and Lighters can become potential Killers if they don’t stop existing as an ultimate positive experience and face their fears, take self responsibility for their positive thoughts and become actual trust-worthy living human beings that can be endowed with actual responsibilities that are in fact honorable and honoring Life in Equality – after all, isn’t that what SHOULD be a Love and Light Principle? Doing what’s Best for All?

There’s a certain difference from thinking positive to DOING/ LIVING/ Acting in the best interest of all – one requires an imaginative high on happy-pills mind to exist and the other one actual physical work and effort to do so.

Sounds like a threat? No, sounds like a wake up call that everyone – including myself of course – must take on to see where and how we are wanting to STICK to our positive experience that SICK-Ends and clouds our common sense to realize that any single moment that we are only going after that which is BEST FOR ME/MYSELF/I only is directly creating a weapon against the whole.
And that, we’ll walk in the following blog

Desteni

Desteni I Process

Desteni Forum

Equal Money System

2012 The Year of Self Transformation –  Facebook Group

Journey to Life on Reddit – Daily blogs to debunk the LIEs in our world.

EnLIEtenment

 

Vlog:

2012: Nothingness — the 7 Year Process to Birthing Self as Life

 

Blogs:

Must hear Interviews to Educate yourself about the Truth and Reality of our World:


106. Abundance = Elitist Positive Experience

 

Creating a positive experience upon opening a cabinet with lots of food stored as a synonym of care and love by parents. This became a ‘trait’ in itself wherein my logic worked as follows: ‘because my father cares for us, he buys us lots of food and ensures we never run out of certain products, which is how he demonstrates that he is always thinking about what is best for us’ – Yet I never took into consideration if there were any other motives to do that, if there were other reasons such as scarcity or even lacking  enough money in the future wherein the excess of items in stock were more of a food bank for emergency situations. The reasons may vary, however one thing is certain: such positive experience can only be achieved if we have enough money to buy food and to buy More than is immediately required to consume.

This is how I debunk parental care to an opportunity that only a few can provide their children with, as well as seeing how in an Equal Money System world, there will be no need to create a positive experience and binding force between family members out of being able to provide with the necessary means to live, as this will be a given right for all.

 

Self Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consider that having enough food in stock at home bought by my father is a synonym of care, wherein I have associated the fact that he always ensures to have enough food in stock as an efficient-point, a preventive type of personality trait that I associated as something positive, without realizing that having food in stock is actually stemming from the fear of not having enough food/ not having enough supplies in any given moment, which is how I learned how to be preventive out of fear only.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define my father’s efficiency according to ‘being able to always provide us food and never experiencing a lack of something,’ which is only a trait available and dependent on money itself – not the person.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience a form of admiration and pride when being able to open up our food cabinet and always finding several milks in stock, which I then took as an example for me to follow, wherein having ‘more than enough’ is seen as a synonym of being ‘preventive’ and ‘efficient’ which is something that my father would take pride on, and that I accepted as a genuine point to consider implementing as myself, until I realize that the starting point of it was fear of ending up with no food/ supplies – and also it is to realize how such ‘food in stock’ can only be a reality if there is enough money to buy more than what is currently required – wherein every time that I would find out there is no more than 1 item in stock, I would associated it with being in any form of crisis or financial trouble, just because of how I got so used to seeing more than enough in our food cabinets as a positive experience, wherein the negative as ‘not seeing more than 1’ was immediately a ‘red flag’ as an indication that there was something wrong going on in our economy.

 

I realize that this is plainly an elitist type of association since a couple of billion people in this world cannot possibly even fathom what it would be like to acquire more food than the one required in the moment, nor would it be even possible to have money to do so on a regular basis – hence I see how I had lived in a small secured bubble wherein I took food for granted and as a synonym of care such as ‘my father cares for us because he brings food to the table,’ but never questioning why my father was able to do that, but many other beings in this world were simply not able to do that, as there are billions deliberately left out of the ‘world system loop’ wherein money is not something that they have any access to – hence food, shelter, clothing and basic services come to them only as a rarity just because of everything else being secured within a minority in this world which includes ourselves – and within that, it is to see how we even dare to create a positive experience out of having enough good in your storage/ food cabinet, without even stopping for a moment to see if every single being on Earth is equally capable and able to have access to feed their children properly, if they have access to money itself in order to buy food and anything else required to live.

 

Thus I see that all the values I have created within my life and throughout the interactions with our basic sustenance within this world system, have been based upon me taking for granted the ability to have money, the ability to buy food and even the ability to choose what to eat, which is a rather elitist move that is not readily given to all beings equally.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate having enough food in stock as ‘feeling secure and cared for’ wherein I would start mimicking this attitudes of having plenty in stock in order to feel secure and that I was caring for myself, not realizing this is essentially done in fear of ending up with no food in the moment, wherein buying milk became a compulsory act until I realized what I was doing and how in a very clear though in ‘the back of my head,’ there was fear of something suddenly emerging in our reality and me feeling secure because at least I would have something to eat.

 

I realize that there are billions that have no possibility to even have a regular access to food, nor can they even dream about being able to store food somewhere and many do not even have a place to live. Thus I see and realize how I have kept myself in this small bubble wherein I would only seek to satisfy my needs, and forget about the world, which is how we stand for the Equal Money System to ensure that all beings can be equally cared for, without having to fear running out of something, not having enough money to feed ourselves the next day and also stop all the relationships of specialness and authority that we have built toward other beings in order to secure our own survival, which is what has created this entire system of self interest covered up and justified with familial bonds in the name of ‘love’ and ‘care,’ when it is in fact just associations that work like investments wherein you are either a winner or a loser according to the amount of money you are able to have in this world-system game.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a positive experience of just seeing that no matter if I empty this cereal box, there is another one ready to be opened by me as ‘my father bought it to me because he cares for me’ which is how I developed this positive attitude toward my father based on his ability to provide food for us and pay for our education, which is an example of how money defines our relationships toward people, often polarizing such relationships if the other parent is not as supportive financially which was then considered in my mind as ‘not caring enough for me,’ simply because of not being contributing in a physical manner as money toward the household.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to even at times get annoyed by me having to thank my father for everything he had bought us to eat and our personal care, wherein I would start backchatting the point of him sharing with us what he had bought us and how I judged him for boasting on what he had bought in order for us to feel ‘in debt’ with him, which was only my own backchat about it, never really considering what was enabling that entire scenario in the first place besides asking whether I was experiencing myself in a positive or negative manner.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate provision of food/ basic needs as ‘parental love and care,’ wherein I accepted the fact that I did not communicate that much with my father, but would always be physically supported by him with what I required to live- hence developing a positive attitude toward my father, which then turned into a polarity point in relation to how I would experience myself with my mother that would provide that point of communication but no financial support – hence me silently judging her as ‘less than’ because she would not contribute with money to our household.

 

Within this, I see, realize and understand how I went on creating my own value-systems according to what I deemed of value – such as products/ food/ personal care items/ education that I would get from my father, and how a point of interaction would be valued as also some type of asset that was ‘less worthy’ because there was no buying or consuming involved – which is how and why I had been brainwashed to only consider that which can be bought as something of value, just because of having to pay for such point of identification as self and it already indicating something more ‘challenging’ that I could call ‘love’ as I learned that in order to live = you must strive to make a living, and if someone cares enough for you = they will walk such a life-strive and bring food, which is what became a measuring point within me toward myself and as a future projection of how I wanted to lead my life: always having more than one and enough in stock in order to be secure and ‘feel cared for’/ provide care for others as well, without realizing it was mostly stemming out of fear.

 

 

Self Corrective Statements:

When and as I see myself feeling compelled to say ‘thank you’ to a repetition of items that have been bought in order to fulfill the character of ‘the provider’ within my father and myself; I stop and breathe – I realize that when I am compromising myself in any way, I must stop for a moment to assess what it is that I am in fact complying to as a positive experience that I am ‘grateful for,’ and how these seemingly positive reputation that we have and hold toward one based on complying each one’s positive character is the actual veil that does not allow ourselves to question such moments in the context of reality, but just comply to say ‘oh thank you!’ and feel cared for, loved and considered because of someone buying you food to eat, which is a relationship of convenience that can only exist as a form of control over others in order to become an authority over one’s life.

 

When and as I see myself associating having enough food in stock as something positive that I should be happy and feel that I am being cared for, I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is only possible within the context of living in a family wherein there is enough money to buy food, to buy more than the necessary in order to keep it in stock as a preventive measure, without realizing that prevention in this case is only available because of money – thus realizing how we have separated ourselves from what is here to such an extent that our relationships our built according to how we are able to give to ourselves the necessary to live from the moment we emerge into this reality, which proves that we cannot possibly walk this system without understanding how our very ‘loved ones’ are in fact systematic positions that have ensured we as children learn ‘who the authority is’ based on the ability to provide the necessary food / resources to live and how whenever we do not get these basic points, we retaliate against parents or custodians and use such resentment as a way to victimize ourselves for not having proper support – when in fact such support should not be bound to a family-structure only, but as an individual process of self-support in self-honesty that we can externalize as an overall system of unconditional support such as the Equal Money system wherein no one will be bound to another to get access to the necessary resources to live, but will simply observe that everyone is getting enough to eat and live as a living right on Earth.

 

When and as I see myself creating a positive experience out of buying something, consuming or keeping in stock, I stop and I breathe – I first ensure that I am not buying such product out of fear but only as self-support and in moderate quantities wherein I can see that fear is not being the directive principle of my consumption habits, but is only common sensical according to the ability we have of going to as shop and buying more if required, without realizing how such ‘simple action’ is not an opportunity for billions on Earth.

 

When and as I see myself feeling compelled to say ‘thank you’ to my father or anyone else buying stuff for me, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am only wanting to create a point of thankfulness as an awareness of what I am being provided with, without realizing that such provision is only available for those with money and how then all the perceived ‘care’ and ‘love’ and ‘concern’ is in fact covering up all possible fears of not having enough food to feed the children, which is a rather practical point to consider, ensuring no fear, no backchat is existent within the acquisition of such products being only a habit and a paternal-pattern that I had created as a point to emulate for myself in my life, as I see and realize how I had created such a positive attitude out of getting all these products for us to consume and eat, which was to me like a synonym of love and care.

 

When and as I see myself seeing food in stock as a positive thing in my reality, I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is only able to exist if we have enough money to do so, thus I support myself to make of such experience of being cared for not something bound to parents and money, but a living certainty, a living right that is able to be provided for all beings equally which is how and why in the equal money system, though parents receiving unconditional financial support, there will be more time to educate themselves to become parents and as such ensure that no emotional/ feeling bounds are created from the role that has been taken of the parents as ‘providers of life,’ but instead walk as equals with children only ensuring that proper nutrition, proper care and physical considerations are implemented in the living space, once that money is no longer a limitation for the being to have a dignified living, and how it is important to allow parents to see how a child is not a load to the parent, but only an extension of self that can be equally walked-with as the realization that we can support each other to Live instead of living to build each other’s ego and system-status as parents/ children in hierarchical levels.

 

I see and realize how money has determined my positive experience toward my parents – and my father specifically – in relation to being able to provide the necessary means and education for me to have a dignified living –whereas if I had not been supported with these things, I would have had a negative experience, which proves how money determines even our familial interactions and relationships as no being is currently an alien to how the world system works in terms of having money or not to live

 

I commit myself to establish the Equal Money System as a means to ensure that no being is bound to another through a monetary-binding force creating a dependence toward one another in a hierarchical mode – but instead, all beings being equally supported learn what it is that we can actually get to recognize and appreciate of one another out of the monetary loop, but instead consider how we can support each other to develop better ways to live and interact in a world wherein survival is no longer a “living-mode” but life and living is the point then explored, shaped and sculpted as we go learning how to be parents, children and inhabitants in the world where equality is the living principle, which in itself points out major shifts in how families currently exist and are bound as. Parents will become living examples of what we are here to be and do instead of becoming the bosses of children dictating their every word and every say through the imposition of authority as a relationship of need through and by money as it currently exists.

 

Support the Equal Money System as this is the only way that we will ensure each other are no longer subject to have a positive or negative life experience with regards to money, but money is instead a given-living-right, leaving enough time to focus on our living skills, communication abilities and the development of human expression as a means to ensure that no being is left behind in their ability to live and express in/ as their utmost potential, as this is what we see and realize is what’s best for all in Equality.

And Educate yourself at Desteni to understand how in an equal world, no parental figure will be able to continue passing on manipulation tactics and hierarchical roles onto children, as the only thing that will exist is equal consideration of one another in a world wherein the basic needs will be readily given, and what will be developed is the ability to interact, express and live as equals.

 

Read the blogs at Journey to Life 

 

 

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Blogs:

Interviews:

The Soul of Money – Money Consciousness – Part 29

 

This blog is a continuation from 

105. Having a Good Time is defined by MONEY


99. Sentencing Ourselves as Words

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use words as a way to denote one’s significance, worth and merit according to a system of values that have been agreed by default in our society built as our ‘language,’ wherein we learn that we have to qualify the subject with either a positive or negative experience and to build our own personality around such words as a way to exert our individuality and ‘free choice’ upon our ‘lives.’

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use words as a way to set ‘living standards’ that in no way denote/ consider and represent what is best for all living beings as equals, but instead created and use words as the very cages that we have caged life with such as judgments, opinions, values and experiences that can only exist at a mind level that we have imposed onto reality by the very fact that we use words to sentence and define/ limit ourselves and others as either more or less than ourselves here as life in as the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use words as a way to indicate a ‘moreness’ experience in/as our  minds as words that in no way denote a physicality but only a mind reality that is able to be manifested only through abusing others in order to portray a point of power/ control as superiority over others.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not take Responsibility for every word that I say, wherein words become the very sentencing process toward myself, ourselves and our reality just because of existing as a mind that will always look for and search for ways to exert its ‘power’ over life, not realizing that it is also life and that it is currently only serving the point of separation that has been perpetuated throughout our existence as human beings simply because we never questioned words themselves as an imposition toward life, we never questioned how come we are able to diminish ourselves/others through words and how we have come to establish our entire world-system as it currently exists based on the premise of separation and inequality –

within this

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to walk through my own vocabulary to see, realize and understand how I create my own reality through the very choice of words that I use in order to express/ depict/ represent who am I in this very moment of speaking – and as such, walk a definitive process to become aware of my words being at all times self-supportive and within that, becoming the directive principle of who I am as words in order to stop defining myself according to the words I speak in separation of myself – this implies that I direct myself to become aware of the words that imply myself as being a concept, a character, a judgment that will impose itself onto a physical reality that is at all times unconditionally here and that in no way words have been wrought and created in order to honor life, but have only been created to satisfy a mind that thrives upon friction, conflict, separation and further dissociation from the physical reality, as it is only through us using words as an illusion of self that we continue looping around a point of conflict stemming from the very separation that we manifest with our own words through thinking, speaking and directing such words without awareness of self here. 

 

I realize that taking responsibility for the words I speak implies me slowing down myself to breathe in every moment to not be ‘carried away by the moment’ wherein I load words as memories of the past in order to perpetuate the characters I had accepted and allowed myself to diminish myself as, but instead, become the directive principle to ensure that each word that I word myself as is an indication of the process I am committing myself to – and within this, realizing that stepping out of character will mean a reverse of the evil that we have become through and by our own words into the Life/living reality that has always been here as ourselves, but that we just have neglected because of having become used to seeking, wanting, desiring and needing to feed the ‘who we are’ as our mind that is energetically based, while the physical runs through and by the consumption of other physical parts in order to continue living – which means that words in no way can nurture life unless they are directed to physically and practically manifest ways in which this life can be equally distributed for all living beings on Earth.

 

This means that in order to stop the separation of words as ourselves as different values that create worth and consequentially a monetary system, we have to purify who we are as words – becoming aware of the vocabulary we have used to in essence sentence each other, dictate ourselves and spell our reality into and as a human race that could only Think reality but never live It in fact.  What this points out to is the realization that we have never in fact lived, because our very words were directed to only satisfy the ego of the mind, the digitalized personalities that we have diminished ourselves to as a ‘mind that think’s instead of being a body that lives.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever believe that my judgments toward another being, another aspect of my reality ‘are in fact real because I see it’ – without realizing to what extent I have conditioned myself to see according to what I want to see, ,which has only suited my needs, desires and so-called purpose/ mission in life, wherein I aligned all my life, decisions and apparent choices in life to satisfy this moreness idea of myself that could prevail upon others as a meaning of success.

 

Within this, I realize how the very acceptance of words like ‘lack’ or ‘scarcity’ as well as ‘poverty and famine’ themselves are an indication themselves of being an aspect  of abuse that we have come to integrate as ‘part of our vocabulary’ without ever daring to stop and see how such words were accepted as a reality imposed whenever one part/ aspect of the whole was able to exert control and power over the rest of existence, which implies that we are all equally responsible because for one/ few to rule over the majority, the majority must accept such ‘power and control’ as real, which means that

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to use and exist as the word ‘victim’ and ‘victimization’ as a way to abdicate my own responsibility toward myself, the words I speak as myself and the totality of who I am as the physical which is at the moment for myself establishing me as breath here wherein ‘Who I Am’ is no longer defined by a set of characters that can be read like a novel with ups and downs, positive and negative aspects, but can only instead be a living flesh that lives words as the realization that who I am can only be expressed through words that take into consideration what’s best for all, and who and what we are as the physical.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to sentence myself in separation of life through the words spoken without awareness of what is it that we are in fact saying about ourselves, expressing ourselves wherein the very essence of our being is subjugated to a fantasy reality, an artificial creation in the mind through logic that never stood as common sense as what’s best for all, but only stood as words arranged into a ‘logical aspect’ that could fit the fuzzy logic of ourselves as mind system seeking to always saturate and satiate its necessary fix of energy to continue existing as the very consequence of the separation of who we are as life itself.

 

I realize that words as capsules of energy is who we are as well, as nothing exists ‘outside of self,’ and as such I commit myself to study how I created who I am as the mind in relation to this energetic dependency to exist, instead of having embraced, realized and understood life as one and equal as myself, which implies that no energetic dependency – such as thinking, becoming emotional, participating in feelings – is essential and indispensable for life to continue.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an ‘abomination’ of reality through the very acceptance of all the processes, points, events that have to be accumulated in order for something to get to the point of ‘abomination’ as a reality that we all exist as, which points out to what extent that which we/ I see through my eyes as a point that I can ‘judge,’ is always in essence me judging myself as that point that I haven’t  yet accepted and allowed myself to forgive myself for in absolute, specific and detailed manner, as I am becoming aware of how one single word can activate an entire backchat that I have also held as ‘normal,’ because of never having had anyone ‘teaching/ sharing’ with ourselves how we are the very creation of and as ourselves and that everything we do does have an impact on the whole, and a such,

 

I realize that I am the one that is able to determine Who and what I am in every moment that I am here – wherein breathing and directing myself as the physical is the way to start looking at all the points I have separated myself from as my mind, as I see, realize and understand that everything that ‘comes to my mind’ is actually me revealing to me the points that I have to walk in order to establish myself as the absolute walking of self-correction at all times/ moments – realizing that we will never be able to ‘change the world’ if we don’t change and revisit the very words we speak and use to create this world as.

 

I commit myself to establish a vocabulary for myself/ all that honors and dignifies who we are and as such, to purify ‘who we are’ as the words that we have created and used to diminish or aggrandize ourselves with which can only exist as a concept in separation of self as life. Thus I realize that in order to establish a new humanity, words must be purified, corrected and proven day by day as a living-reality that is sustainable within the principle of what’s best for all, as only living words is what will remain in a physical world – every other word that stands for the ego of the mind, that stands as a perpetuation of the very consciousness that we have enslaved ourselves to, will have to come to an end – but the end won’t come as a magic wand that can be thrown back as another spell, but it is an actual living and physical corrective process wherein we walk through the consequences of having casted spells out as words in separation of self-here as one and equal and as such, learn how to express, create and communicate as equals with and as everything that is here, which implies that words will be devoid of any human egocentrism in order to recognize and expand equal abilities to all and everything that is also Here as ourselves in this world – plants, animals, environment, ‘invisible particles – that we have simply veiled ourselves from because of existing as a mind that thinks reality but never lived As Life/ reality/ the physical in itself.

 

Within this, I understand that each one holds the key to life as our own process of self correction and that as such, walking our very own judgments, opinions, beliefs, ideas, perceptions/ assumptions built as language in itself is the key to establish what is real as the physical and what is not – what serves life in equality and what served and energetic mind-game of winners and losers.

 

I commit myself to the realization here in order to live it as myself – and within this, realize that every moment I indulge into a point of separation through words spoken without awareness, I am in fact continuing and contributing to the already detrimental selves that we have become, blinded by our personal fixes while they worlds asphyxiates with the effects of our godly sins and indulgences in separation of life as one and equal.

 

For more support, visit Desteni 

 

 

 

Blogs:

Quantum Consciousness Programming in Childhood – Part 1: Day 99 

Day 99: Predators of Capitalism
Day 65: Giving up character Self Forgiveness Statements

 

Continuing from…


70. ‘Money is My True Desire’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a relationship with money itself as my ultimate desire, love and wish in my reality wherein I have linked the word ‘Money’ to all that which I can Buy, consume and own in order to create a positive experience within me, which I have called ‘empowerment’ linked to a state of ‘happiness’/ success/ fulfillment and joy.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to learn that life is all about getting to this ultimate happiness and success within the society, which is tacitly implying having a lot of money in order to buy a lot of things that can denote that ‘I have money, I am powerful, I am happy, I am fulfilled, I can have everything I want’ – without realizing that I was trained to think this way when linking money as an added-value onto who I am as a human being that is Life in itself already – not realizing that Life is the one and only True-Value in existence.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare my value/wealth as money to others’ wealth/money, and constantly see ‘where I stand’ in relation to other’s money/ wealth, which implies that I can only consider myself as being ‘successful’ if I see myself having More things, owning, continually being able to buy everything that I want as a means to create a positive experience within me, as a sense of empowerment and success over others.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make decisions in life in relation to my studies, my career, my relationships in accordance to ‘who I want to be’ as the amount of money I want to have, which means that I am only existing For Money, for that Success and elusive Happiness that, due to how I have been brainwashed to think that happiness = consuming/ buying/ owning/ possessing all I want, need and desire, I require a Lot of Money to achieve that, which is how I have placed myself to do everything I can in order to get that much money to fulfill my desire, without realizing that in this logical assumption that I have missed the entire point of Myself as Life of Equality and Oneness as the one and only real value in this world –  but instead have diminished ‘living’ and ‘my life’ to only Living-For-Money, to create and fulfill my desires and positive experiences.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define Money as a positive word due to all the images I have linked to it as owning, buying, consuming everything that I can in order to have a ‘great life experience,’ within this accepting that my ‘beingness’ is defined according to the amount of money I have/ own, as a determinant factor of who I am, what I do, who I am toward others and how I compare myself to others in society, because this is what I have learned to be and become: a person that is fighting and striving to ‘make it’ in this like, with ‘making it’ signifying getting a lot of money in order to have All that ‘I’ Want – without ever questioning if this attainment is even possible for those that have nothing to eat and are deliberately secluded from this ‘choice’ in life by our own acceptance and allowance of money as separation from who we are as life.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define Money as a negative thing whenever I Don’t have any money, which is when I start questioning WHY I can’t have money given to me unconditionally, why is money not given to all beings in order to have a dignified living – within this realizing that: as long as I have money = I only care to augment my own capital/ money/ wealth and attain more and more and more until I am saturated with the most money I can make in my every day living – and when I have No Money, I feel miserable, I feel ostracized, rejected, doomed, see everything dismal and with anger because I cannot have what Others have, wherein the example of the rich/ wealthy stand as that ultimate desire that is simply denied to me by the world-system, without realizing that we have all collectively agreed to make of this money system a grace and a disgrace for humanity according to the access each one has to Money.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that whenever I see myself worrying about money, thinking about money, wanting and desiring money, I am in fact accepting the premise of money not being a tool given to all to live, but has become the very reason and purpose of my every day living as a motivation to live, wherein I have absolutely forgotten Who and What I am as Life/ Living of oneness and equality, because money has become our very separation from that absolute wholeness that we could in fact live in/as if we all collectively agreed that Money can be a Tool to provide, give and share to one another that which is here of the Earth in order to LIVE a wholeness of life as Equals.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take Life for Granted whenever I am only existing as this desire and constant search for Money as that experience of fulfillment, happiness, bliss, completion without realizing that it is all based on a consumerist society wherein even if I have enough to eat, to live well and comfortably, I am seeking MORE as that is what I have defined as ‘Success’ and ‘Happiness’ – wherein I go day by day comparing myself to the lives of other human beings in order to see ‘who I am’ according to the money that I have and the money that I see others have.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior to others if I see that they have a lot of money which I have then defined as them being happy, fulfilled, satisfied with themselves as a synonym of ‘wholeness’ without realizing that the only wholeness that can exist is as the totality of this world, as LIFE itself that we have controlled, diminished and made an object of desire when equated to money within a monetary system that does not grant equal-access to Life by virtue of Living – this implies that who I am in relation to others exists as the separation that I have accepted and allowed as my self-definition according to the money that I have and that I compare myself to others according to the amount of money they own and I have.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define me as either poor/ middle-class/ rich as ‘Who I Am’ because of having accepted myself to be defined to one single point in my reality as Money which determines my survival, my desires of wanting More and seeking to be ‘fulfilled’ through and as money, wherein all that I seek is to constantly being able to Buy myself Experiences that I have linked to joy, happiness, success, completion, fulfillment, satisfaction as the ability to buy, own and consume everything that I can with the power I have given away when separating myself from Life into and as the acceptance of the current monetary system as Capitalism.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to visually associate Money with everything in my reality, even my physical body, as I have come to accept the fact that organs of the physical body have a price as well as hair, selling pregnancy hosting, the image of my physical body, blood, semen, fetuses and other bodily parts and functions that can be sold, including sexual services that a body can provide which are also due-to and part of the same necessity that we’ve made ourselves dependent on as Money.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that within accepting money as my ultimate desire, I am neglecting the fact that all I am consuming is Myself in the name of a positive experience that I have linked to a single Idea, belief and concept of happiness, satisfaction and completion according to that which I have been taught and learned throughout my life wherein all that I know is that ‘I need money to live’ and in that single acceptance, directing my entire life, my choices, my drive to live for and as the desire of money, forgetting about who I am as Life in its totality.

 

I realize, see and understand that in order to stop defining myself as this ‘desire for money,’ I have to walk a process wherein I stop placing value in separation of myself as the things I buy, consume and own as a positive experience and an ‘accumulation of worth’ as ‘who I am,’ which is realizing that all the power I have embedded to money itself is a fake-value system, a make-believe system of ‘worth’ in separation of Life which is what and who I am as all as one and equal – which means that my desire for money is currently ‘real’ as long as we continue accepting and allowing the same capitalist monetary system where a ‘Successful Living’ is only linked to Money.

 

I realize, see and understand that this idea of money as a ‘moreness’ of myself, as this positive experience is in fact a product of the brainwashing that I have lived in as this current system wherein Life can only ‘thrive’ if having money, without having ever questioned why such money was not readily-given as a birth right, which implies that money in itself is a system of desires as the separation from ourselves as Life into a system of control/ power that promotes greed for its own continuation and survival, without ever questioning how the abuse in this world as the inability to have access to money/ poverty/ starvation and all the abusive jobs that are ‘the last resort’ to get money for the majority of the world, are in fact the abusive means that are used in order to create/ manifest the ideal of wealth and ‘fulfillment’ as a real inequality that is visible in our society –  I see and realize now that money is a make-believe system that only benefited a minority while having a majority with no access or in a constant survival-mode wherein one is pushed and forced to do ‘anything for money’ which includes activities and actions that clearly denigrate our own physical body, life itself into an absolute depletion of life, due to our accepted and allowed sectarian elitist monetary system that is only at the service of a few as those with money in the world.

 

I commit myself to stop my constant need, desire and yearning for ‘all the money in the world’ wherein the acceptance of a ‘millionaire’ is no longer part of my daydreaming desires as an image and picture of myself as being ‘eternally happy and satisfied with myself’ as I realize that in doing so, I am tacitly agreeing and accepting the abuse, the poverty, starvation and all forms of life degradation in the name of my dream, my desire, my positive experience, which is how and why I have to now take Responsibility for what I have done, what I have become

 

I commit myself to within stopping myself within this constant desire to buy, consume, own and Experience life through and as what I can buy into as happiness/ success/ fulfillment – I take responsibility for walking my own process to realize the absurdity of having separated ourselves from who we are as Life of Oneness and Equality and in that, commit myself to be part of the people in the world that create a New World System based on the recognition and realization of who we are as Life as One and Equal – which means that a New Monetary System must be in place, which is the Equal Money System, wherein we stop being bound to the One System that Rules us All as a belief-system of abuse, and turn money into a tool to give and receive life as equals, as we all realize that we all want to have a comfortable life, the best possible education, food, housing, the most suitable transportation, entertainment that is in support of who we are as Life, and that can only exist if I first Stop my participation within the current monetary system of abuse – in all its inner workings – and transform myself to stand as the necessary change in the meaning of who I am not as a ‘person that desires money to live’ but a person that stands as the worth/value of life itself, which is the only value I really am and exist as – within the realization that we had trapped ourselves in a make-believe system of separation of who we are as life into a form of control, discrimination and ‘power over life’ that was never real in itself, but was ‘made real’ according to how we complied and obeyed to it as the only way to ‘continue living,’ which is unacceptable and must be obviously changed in the name of Life as who we are as Equals.

 

Educate yourself at Desteni

Equal Money System

 

Walk with our process of “worthing” ourselves as Life and stopping our own consumerist brainwash – Read Journey to Life blogs

We can stop existing as DEBT if we all Agree that we can give LIFE to each other as Equals

 

This blog is a continuation of the exploration of Money as a Word and Concept in separation of Life itself:

Blogs for Mind-debunking:

 

Interviews:

The One System that Rules us All
Reptilians – The Power of One Word – Part 58

 

equal money system - money for all as life


67. Money = Function of Abuse

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see money itself as the product of our own insanity wherein disease as inequality is spread every single moment that I use money as something that is not readily given and/ or available for all living beings, without realizing that I have been the only one that could have ever created such rules and regulations that money currently exists as, which makes me equally responsible for the insanity that is currently going on in the world and that I carry as a means of protection from such ‘insanity’ in the world.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed money as a social institution wherein people that are able to understand the meaning of money, will automatically associate this with power, desire, positive experience and ‘the sum of all desires’ because we have neglected to give each other life in equality as a living right – from birth to death- to which we then comply that the ‘rules’ are: we can only get money if we work for it, if we inherit it, if we ‘win’ it one way or another, in this reducing Life to a single experience that must be Earned and is not readily given.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that money as symbol of power can only exist in the dishonesty that we have accepted and allowed as ourselves in separation of all life recognized as one and equal as who we really are.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that because we have a ‘monetary system,’ that ‘system’ will work in a mint and adequate way to support beings, which is and has never been real and a fact, due to this system having its preplanned ‘flaws’ to only support a small sector of the entire world’s population, which means that such system that we have all collectively agreed upon, is based upon abuse, disregard of fellow human beings and in that, ‘making money’ out of something that has never had any actual ‘price tag’ as an inherent nature – which means that Money is Never pointing out to an actual natural association of ‘worth/ value’ of this physical reality and the value money represents, which means: we have just been playing the most evil game in existence through and as the monetary system, wherein we’ve imposed numbers as ‘price tags’ upon reality/ the Earth’s resources to our own benefit and deliberately affecting all that have No-Money in a negative way, which means that anyone of us that has money is directly responsible for the suffering, starvation, poverty, lack of proper living conditions of any other living being that has No equal-power as money in this world.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that money can fluctuate according to ‘market forces,’ which is in itself an obvious indication that it is Not a Real-Physical consideration of Life, as Life as the physical reality, as the resources and ecosystem is predictable, is stable, is cyclic and works in symbiotic relationships, which is the ecosystem we live in – yet because we have blinded ourselves by Monetary-values, we have become oblivious to the basic common sense indication that any variation of prices/ worth of things Is manipulation, is control and managed by a few that seek power/ control over others, which all of us having money tacitly and implicitly agree upon.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see money as ‘power in itself’ wherein the single view of paper, coins, metals called ‘precious’ have made us gone Mental in terms of the value and worth of life itself reduced to a system of symbols (money as paper/ the sign $/ metals/ bank notes/ shares) that indicate the ‘wealth’ that a being is able to possess, which implies an obvious relationship of control and domination over Life itself. Thus I realize that the crime against life is committed every single day and every single moment that I use money as a way to give and receive what is here of this Earth, which – because of money – not everyone has equal-access to.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that money inevitably is a representation of physical things that I can ‘acquire’ with it, which blinds me from the primary step of realizing how such possibility of acquisition can ONLY exist if I hold such ‘money’ in my ‘power’/ hands, which implies that I am deliberately participating in a system where I know beforehand that Not everyone has the same ‘power at hand’ or power at all – no money at all – to live, which makes me equally responsible for having complied to the rules and regulations of a system designed to only support a Few in humanity, while deliberately enslaving the rest in order to have them be the actual work-force that strives to get the same money that those that made the rules/ own the monetary system, are able to establish to continue and perpetuate their power in this reality, which I have equally accepted and allowed as ‘normal’ in this world.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become jaded to the arbitrariness of money and its rules, wherein there is no direct link of money as life/ money as given to all in equality in order to make of money an actual Tool to Live – but instead money exists as a weapon of choice that we have agreed upon as a means to control, divide and deliberately maim being’s ability to live, which makes me see and realize that poverty, starvation, crime, lack of proper living conditions for all human beings stems from my tacitly and implied acceptance and participation in a system of abuse as the monetary system we have running within a capitalist system of Money as a life-controlling system.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect the fact that there is no Natural or ‘Divine’ reason to link money to power over life, and that this is a man-made system that has used this sign of Money as a way to motivate greed, power, control and instigate the desire to be ‘more’ as that positive experience that we are all taught to embed onto money itself, wherein we go through our lives having ‘money’ as the single goal in our existence, which we cover-up and ‘make-up’ with words like love, happiness, bliss, health, prosperity, abundance which are all only able to be Lived IF there is Money to acquire/ get all of that which produces us an experience in this world as that positivity that we ‘live for’ currently in our world, because it has never been readily given as a living-right.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make of Money as the ability to Live and Experience, the Meaning of Life, which implies that I have never in fact Lived as I have only Lived-to-Survive, Live-To-Get-Money, Live-to-Subsist against all odds as the inevitable and inherent competition to survive is entailed when and while knowing that money is not readily given to all in equality, but must be ‘fought for’ and strived-for, while neglecting that everything that I require is from the Earth and the Earth gives it unconditionally, which means that I am accepting and allowing a system of control and abuse as ‘power over life’ without ever questioning Why it is so – never getting to the bottom of the fact which is: it is an arbitrary system that was deliberately created to separate, divide and conquer humanity in the name of power for a few.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Believe that: because we have already set this system of rules and regulations that make the current monetary system, I cannot change those rules even at the face of the blatant realization that this system is simply Not working, Not functional to support everyone – which implies that believing that I can’t change it is accepting a divine force-like behind the creation of money, which is not so at all, it is just a scheme of values that we made in order to create a positive experience for some and a negative experience-reality for the majority, as that is the only way that the ‘more than’ experience for only a few can be obtained.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize how it is within this premise of the existence of Money as a positive experience, that I am in fact perpetuating the system of abuse every single time that I wish to ‘have money’ and be a ‘millionaire’ and ‘billionaire’ which are concepts instigating the propagation of abuse as a ‘positive thing’ in our reality, wherein the amount of money is linked to ‘freedom’ and ‘freedom of choice’ and absolute liberty to do ‘whatever we want,’ yet ignoring deliberately how everything that we buy is currently linked to a system of abuse wherein no matter what we do, where we buy, how much money we have: we are all equally participants in this chain-massacre of abuse toward life as the current monetary system.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to agree that money as a concept and word itself signifies a positive experience within me, wherein I know that having money implies = being able to live and get what I required, want and desire wherein the escalation of basic needs to desires implies an added value to things that are not indispensable in my reality – called ‘luxuries’- wherein the idea of being a ‘millionaire’ is accepted in our society as something ‘possible’ without placing 1+1=2 together, wherein there are billions of people that are Not having any access to money at all, yet we have people that have more than One million (money of the greatest worth) as their personal wealth, which implies that there is Obvious abuse being allowed in such concept, yet we praise them as ‘examples’ of what we all want to ‘be one day,’ wherein being a millionaire has become part of our social agreement as a possibility in a capitalist system wherein wealth is seen as something ‘positive’ and denoting ‘success’ – without ever questioning what is the chain massacre of abusive acts that allow One/ a few beings on Earth being entitled with such noun: millionaire/ billionaire – neglecting the life that must be used/ abused to get to such fallacious concept as ‘power’ that can only exist in abuse of human beings, animals and natural resources that are able to be exploited to be Sold and capitalized through the profit system that we have all bound ourselves to.

 

I commit myself to educate myself on how we have accepted words as our very own prison wherein each sign/ word as part of a system indicates our level of separation, due to not equating both the signifier and signified as one and equal as myself, as life, but have placed life upon system of arbitrary values that are man-made in order to abuse. This means that I commit myself to show and reveal that it is through purifying words as ourselves that we can get to the realization of how we have become the very words of abuse as a ‘normalcy’ in society/ the world-system, without ever questioning what we are implying by the mere use of Money as a sign of power.

 

I commit myself to walk my own positive associations with money as a positive experience, which I see and realize is part of the necessary ‘motivation-factors’ that we agree upon in order to view money as a ‘positive thing’ that will lead us to prosperity, abundance, joy, happiness, fulfillment at a PERSONAL level, wherein the totality as humanity is neglected/ not equated within that ‘motivation’ because of deliberately leaving 2/3 of the world’s population out of the Money-game that only a select few are able to participate in, which already implies that we Must Take Self-Responsibility for changing, correcting and establishing New-Rules in the Game that consider All Beings in Equality.

 

I commit myself to continue walking my process of seeing who/what I am within the experience that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become within the use of particular words that stand in separation of myself as Life.

 

Equal Money System 

 

Desteni Forum for Self Support to walk a process of Self-Forgiveness to see who we are as the words we speak, and how to establish common sense without our day to day living wherein the Equalization of ourselves as the value-of-life /the only value that can exist is practically lived/ applied in our day to day living reality.

Read our Journey to Life blogs and walk with us!

Money Driven

Money Driven (2003)

 

Read: Economist’s Journey to Life 

Basics on Equal Money:

What the FAQ is an Equal Money System – Volume 1

 

Blogs:

Interviews:

Day 48: My Smile is a Rifle + I’m pointing it at you.

  • When you smile at a stranger, there is already a minute outflow of energy. You become a giver.~Eckhart Tolle*

 

The truth is that I would smile to people on the streets when having eye contact and when I had deliberately decided to establish such contact through ensuring that I could have them ‘by my side’ by demonstrating a physical gesture that would let them know ‘I come in peace and I intend no harm’ – which implies the starting point was  fear itself:  “People are strange when you’re a stranger” is what I learned from Jim Morrison only as a phrase that could get stuck in my head along with any other song that I would listen to in casual places.  When spirituality came into my world – or I drove myself into spirituality – I read information on how within giving away these ‘positive vibes’ and ‘thinking positive’ all the time could in fact ‘help’ to create a better world. Obviously having been submerged in a rather stagnant and pessimist phase before that, I went for it – and began being the positive charm that could engage anyone with a soft-voice and a pre-planned smile that I knew could open the doors in a world wherein fear closes them all.

 

So,when going through life smiling at people during this phase, I can confirm what Mr. T* says in his quote here – I would create this fluffy experience which can only confirm two things:

1. I did it because of the nice fluffy experience within myself only, while thinking that I was causing the same in another as well – foolishly so believing that this in any way could ‘make their day better’ lol – which is what LOVE is justified as

2. I always did it in means of protecting myself from the actual fear that I would  carry myself around with when interacting/ directing myself toward humans in general when walking on the street – smiling as in ‘breaking the ice’ in order to sugar-coat the actual need to be ‘smiled-back’ as a means to talk myself into believing that: people aren’t that ‘bad’ after all, all we need is a bit of extending your mouth to demonstrate that you are a ‘good person’ as well! – yes, I  cannot even recall ‘who I was’ as such person any more. It did work at all times and would get me many opportunities however: all stemming from fear, from actual deliberate manipulation to have people ‘on my side’ while actually fearing they could insult me, rob me, attack me or anything else that I would be constantly paranoid about while walking in the streets – this way I thought I could ‘prevent me’ from being deliberately targeted as then any people would commiserate and believe myself to be this enlightened being that doesn’t deserve such harm. Of course I didn’t do this with every single person, it was mostly with those that I had to directly communicate with them for any practical purposes, as well as the ones I had to have ‘uncomfortable situations’ with, like sitting on the train together, in a bus, in an elevator, arriving at a bench in a park and sitting next to someone, etc.

The fact is that it is so much ‘better’ for the mind to be an affable person all the time and smiling and seeking this acceptance all the time as it creates you a ‘good reputation’ + the added positive energy wherein I would self-talk myself into being adding props for my enlightened closer-to-god personality that is used to manipulate people with the ‘I am Love’ Tag while secretly asking ‘Love me back, please’ – yet what I see is that I was only following my own deception: ‘giving a smile’ is obviously not going to change anything in this world other than generating a few energetic sparks inside my body and believing that I was supporting my self-enlightened interest to become an absolute benevolent being. Lol, yes delusion is easy when being in spirituality/ the good positive side of the coin – or should I say the ‘moon’ because I was certainly not even aware of how on Earth I was able to maintain myself living with using money as a means to do so. I have only found out after years that I was only playing another ‘video game’ reality of attaining heaven through keeping score of my own ‘good deeds’ – the more I could create a fluffy experience about it: the better.

I actually after having written out this first part of the blog, went out on the street and noticed that a girl around 9 had this very eerie gesture toward me while watching me walking down the street, and as I came closer to her she suddenly just grinned – which proved the point that I had written out here on how people first Fear each other all the time and then smiling is just a way to cover up that initial fear or whatever it is she could have experienced and demonstrated with her face in awe. (note: I still have a shaved head and that’s still not a regular thing around here for women.) And! I also realized that I would constantly have a smile on my face, like this rigid gesture that I would keep in order to seem affable for all of the above mentioned reasons – the same when ‘looking at nature’ and believing that GOD had wanted me to get out of my house for a walk in that very moment because I was going to witness these two little birds chasing after each other – or a piece of glowing plastic with the sunrays creating this beautiful contrast with the green foliage and a bit of dry leafs – the same would happen when encountering a dead little bird on the side walk – and I am exaggerating a bit with the ‘god’ thing, but I would definitely create all forms of nice positive experiences from JUST looking at reality. Yes, people, I was very/ highly deluded creating and seeking experiences through my eyes – and I’ve walked that in the blog ‘Lugubrious Romantic’ that you can read more about and the process of self correction for it, which I have been applying and was definitely cool to spot the point in such a specific way.

 

 

So, I must say to Mr. T that I wholeheartedly disagree again with his statement, as it is reducing any actual ability for a human being to realize what giving and receiving in equality is and implies, and wrapping it up to nothing more than just another double-cheese burger to-go that can satiate the never ending quench for energy that we as human beings have denigrated ourselves to: nothing else but loveseeking fizzy bubbly machines to always seek for our next greatest excitement (energy) – yet neglecting any actual understanding of what it would actually mean to be a ‘giver’ in reality. Instead of smiles becoming an actual expression in the moment as self, they became just another way to cope with my reality of which I was extremely fearful of, constantly, almost paranoid at times – which was also enhanced by the delirium that ‘I am this benevolent being in a world of tyrants and mean people’ – so a lot of fabricated delusions can be played out in a single fleeting moment of smiling to a stranger. Some can even understand ‘SEX’?’ and get the message entirely wrong – you never know what gestures imply as they have also become a part of the deceptive means to ‘imply’ things without having the courage to speak about them up front. I speak for myself when I say that, and have walked that specifically as I realize how we fear actually being willing to communicate openly and in self honesty, which is how the infamous ‘misunderstandings’ emerge as a way to confuse us even further from the initial point wherein we sought some sense of recognition and comfort – a single smile.

 

Another fact is that when reading that quote at first me as ‘marlen-value’ pointed it out toward sex: ‘you are a giver’ as in you are satisfying someone else’s senses – which is like giving entry to someone for sex. Thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be the very mind that has perpetuated the sexualization of society with single statements that I usually associate to the ‘double-meanings’ that I was so used to understanding when hearing words and linking them toward sex – thus I realize that the solution is stopping sexualizing what should be an unconditional expression in the moment such as openly smiling with no fear, no holding back. Once again, this is to expose how ‘positive feeling’ are always linked to two things – or three: sex, money and god/ religion which is kind of the same as it can turn into a rather sexualized experience that is now comfortably understood as ‘religious experience.’

 

Therefore, this is another reason why light and love will lead you to fluffy deliriums about reality wherein the actual physical giving to another being in the name of Equal-consideration of who we are as one and equals, is pulverized to a ‘cosmic spark’ of smiling at others and believing yourself to already be a ‘good doer’ in this world. Absolutely unacceptable as we have billions indulging in this positive bullshit that is polluting the airwaves with mantras of enlightenment while poverty, famine and sexual exploitation increase every moment that a single person decides to smile in the name of that inner personal satisfaction as the illusion of who we are as energy bodies that will ascend ‘higher and higher’ some day, as we treat each other ‘with Love’ which is the mask of fear that we portray in order to avoid facing our reality: unless we establish a system of life that supports all living beings equally, no matter how many smiles we exert to strangers: NOTHING will change.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use smile as a way to mask the actual fear that I experience toward people while walking on the streets. I realize that this is not necessary to do if I stop the fear itself within my mind, as it is only stopping the initial thought of ‘I fear people’ and instead, realizing that smiling at others will create no difference whatsoever within a being’s reality, as well as within myself.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate the word ‘giver’ with sexual connotations wherein I have become the very mind that sexualizes reality and all gestures and movements ‘must be’ related to sex, as I have deemed this to be the only thing that moves humanity – and even if it’s so, I realize that there are more points to debunk in relation to judging it, instead of actually walking a process to support myself and others to stop only creating the usual ‘curiosity’ and ‘double sense’ that implies a sexual context within my mind, wherein I am becoming part of the entire mechanism that uses sex as a means to obtain energy, instead of realizing sex as an actual physical experience that must be part of our education within this world in order to stop profiting from it as a means to make it seem ‘secretive’ and within that, stirring thoughts that will propitiate sexual obsessions with no practical and physical support to assist myself and others to realize that: we have vandalized sex and any other sexual suggestion to only being an energetically mind-driven mechanism to make ourselves ‘feel good’ as in obtaining that positive rush within ourselves, while actually neglecting and even not knowing what real physical sex and experiences would imply.

 

I commit myself to expose positive attitudes as the actual mask of fear to perpetuate control and the desire to manipulate/ have power  over others, wherein all things LOVE are actually stemming from fear, fear of loss and the sense of ‘lacking’ wherein we, human beings, believed that we always required to be ‘loving’ in order to feel satisfied and fulfilled, never realizing that it is within this acceptance of ‘love’ as something ‘good,’ that we have blinded ourselves from reality wherein the actual TRUTH of ourselves is seen in every kid that is starving and pondering: why on Earth do these people ‘rejoice’ in love while I am left to simply die? What do they call ‘giving’ then?

 

I commit myself to expose the positive, love and light  lies as excuses to keep ourselves bound to a single ‘streamline’ of ‘positive thinking’ and believing that in doing so, any form of change is being conducted in reality – thus exposing the actual GIVING and RECEIVING that must be a process of education as a new way of living called Neighborism that we are all able to begin walking as a individual self-honest process that we all can and must, actually, as our point of Self Responsibility conduct in our every day living to ensure that we in-fact change human nature into a real love-giving being that considers ALL beings in equality and creates the Equal Money System as the way to promote actual feasible GIVING and Receiving solutions that contemplate the physical interdependence of all organisms/ beings in order to live in Equality as Life.

 

We must realize that as long as we don’t the basic points to live in dignity as a guarantee in our reality, we’ll continue seeking fleeting answers to a reality – such as positivity, law of attraction, smiling, giving hugs for free, seeking peace, meditating, chanting, dancing, reciting mantras, the bible, talking to god and any other schizophrenic attempt to ‘do good,’ reality will continue to be obliterated in every second that we continue seeking our personal satisfaction instead of actually dedicating ourselves to establish our own Equality as life and bringing some actual justice on Earth by our own hands.

 

Investigate Desteni, the Equal Money System and us Destonians in our Journey to Life wherein we are finally breaking the spells upon creation, exposing the light and lover addiction for the sexual innuendo that is currently plying out – most of the times -and instead educating society to realize that everything that moves us is sex and money, and a self-seeking desire to attain ‘god’ as the ultimate reward for whatever ‘good deeds’ we’ve perceived ourselves to accumulate with smiling at people.

 

Sunette Spies – The Genuine Smile Of Laughter

 

Sonrisa

‘Sonrisa’ 2004

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Day 44: The Evil Veil of Me

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever pursuit the positive in life and believing that that was ‘the path’ that I had to walk as it would make me be a ‘better human being’ while neglecting the fact that such positive energy was in fact the result of the actual evil as the bastardization of life to energy wherein I made sure that ‘who I am’ as a point of separation from the whole always stands on the ‘positive side’ which I allowed myself to deliberately ‘stick to,’ regardless of the actual inner-experience that would come up when being possessed with anger and obsessive thoughts as a child, which then developed into generating a double experience within myself wherein within the outside I would present an affable and charismatic persona, but in the inside I judged my very own participation as I knew that it was only fake and ‘to get by’ within the standards of society that I always accepted as ‘how things are’ without daring to really question it as to How it is that we were all just playing games of pretending to care about each other.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to exert that inner inexplicable irritation toward myself as a child as a gnawing experience that I would then try and exert out as annoyance, annoying others and seeking attention because I did not know why I was experiencing such inextricable physical discomfort wherein I just wanted to peel myself off of my physical body.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to develop obsessions from a very young age wherein I would feed my obsessions with constantly thinking about something until I would get it, and I would then experience the temporary relief of finally ‘achieving’ something that I wanted, only to find something else to obsess about in no time, which is how I became used to being holding on to a future-experience of self-gratification which is how we are currently living as beings that only care about the immediate instant-gratification wherein there is no actual regard for that which we are consuming in the name of such gratification.

 

I forgive myself that I always accepted and allowed myself to believe that through sticking to the positive self-experience I was being a ‘good being in existence’ without ever, ever imagining that this is the actual evil of this world as all the spiritual beliefs and ideas of positive, light and benevolence stem from the very acceptance of that inherent separation of who we are as one and equal, thus becoming a worshiper of the very evil that has leads us to exist in the current state we’re living in as humanity, which is now, more clear than ever, that is taking a toll on all of us that believed that we were ‘on the good path’ of walking with and as the ‘good guys’ while neglecting that in reality, it was the other way around.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to ‘fear the evil’ and react to such word without ever having known that everything we have been and manifested as the consequence of our primordial separation has been evil, pure evil in nature, which then explains how I would constantly hold the thought-pattern about ‘Humanity being evil’ and creating this constant ‘hardening’ experience when being ‘exposed’/ being interacting with human beings as I believed everyone was ‘on to get me’ and ‘against me,’ which explains how retreat, isolation and the desire to simply interact the least possible stemmed from this that I deemed as ‘irrational fear’ – yet it was real as the actual nature that exists as all of us, not only myself and that I can only see and understand it for what it means to ensure that I walk the process to stop any form of continuation to degrade and defy life in the name of any form of energy – whether positive or negative – it is my responsibility to stop all patterns of energy within myself, as I realize that this is the only way that I can give myself back to myself the points that I had initially separated myself from.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever only seek to be a positive-supporter a ‘cheerleader’ when it came to positivity and positive experiences, without realizing that within this I had made of reality nothing else but a chemical reaction that would only make me Feel Good about myself and my thoughts and place myself into this angelic pedestal, while neglecting the fact that the foundation to such experience was stemming from the actual evil that we became the very moment that we accepted and allowed ourselves to be the cause and effect of energy as the result of the desire to ‘experience’ and ‘be more’ than ourselves as equality and oneness, which means that I abdicated the wholeness of myself and vulgarized it to me being and becoming only a single experience that would only continue to keep satisfying itself through generating the same positive experience within the participation with others in reality, using them/ using life as a way to transform it into the necessary crutch for my self elation.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to try and ‘fix the world’ in separation of myself and believing myself to be a ‘good natured being’ when in fact, I was only trying to save my own ass when it comes to realizing that any desire to do good was actually stemming from the fear that I had realized was absolutely undeniable within me, which is how I feared everything that had to do with ‘dark’/ ‘darkness’ and ‘evil’ because I had feared myself as my own ‘evil’ experience/ thoughts/ imagination that I had not been able to communicate with others, because of fearing being judged for having such experiences within me, which reveals to what extent we as human beings experience these type of inner confusion and not knowing how to ‘deal’ with it, because we were always taught to simply ride the wave of experience until it ‘fades out’ – yet not really understanding why and how I would suddenly have ‘evil thoughts’ as a child toward people in my reality, with no apparent reason, which is what manifested that self-annoyance and irritation that I tried to cover up with a positive attitude and being just cheerful, because I knew that that would keep me ‘safe’ from the evil that I actually feared as myself.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever pursue a ‘light working career’ wherein I would dream of being able to ‘help people’ and make this world a ‘better place’ by implementing solutions that had to do with giving hope, having faith and believing that ‘after all, it all must come down to a positive end’ – which is in fact the problem that hope instills and creates in this reality as a the laxity wherein the real nature that must be worked with through writing, applying self forgiveness and  the Self Corrective Application had been simply pushed down and covered up with all things positivity, which is like trying to build a solid foundation upon a swamp.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever seek relationships as a way to make myself feel better about myself, without realizing that it is through the nature of relationships that our ‘real nature’ was shaped and formed, which implies that creating relationships was an automated way to continue the perpetual desire to ‘be more’ than myself because relationships in themselves already imply separation and energetic experiences created from that moment of separation toward that which we are attempting-to and trying to reunite with. Which means that I had only reinforced separation through trying to connect/ establish relationships due to such separation only existing as an energetic experience that doesn’t consider the actual physicality as the fabric of existence as substance/ as life of which everything and everyone is made of.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to deem that everything that was ‘evil’ in this world had nothing to do with me, which was me neglecting my very own thoughts as the constant seeking for power, control, recognition, glory, instant-gratification as a constant ‘win-win’ desire within me, which is the actual core and initiation of all evil in this world wherein ‘who I am as money/ power’ is all that really drives us to want to ‘be something/ someone’ in life, which is Not living but instead agreeing to play the game and ride the ‘waves of success’ that we all comply to live in within this system that only cares to perpetuate such constant fueling of experiences, instead of regarding and supporting life in equality, which is now our duty to establish as a living principle on Earth.

 

I commit myself to debunk any inkling and remain of positivity within me as I walk myself out of the mind and into the physical, remaining as the awareness of who I have become as a result of having lived in fear of ‘the evil’ in me for such an extensive period of time, wherein morality took the place of any form of common sense and in that, becoming a biased being that only cared about listening, doing, being, supporting all things positivity for a while, while having been on the exact opposite, which lead me to a final great confusion within my life that actually lead me to Desteni and that I see and realize is the only way to stop ALL Confusions that we may have in this world when wanting to deliberately stick to the positive out of the actual fear of ourselves, fear toward fellow human beings, because we see and realize that our actual current natures is that of evil that is also a veil that we have created upon ourselves the moment that we accepted and allowed ourselves to live as energy only, as an energetic presence instead of a physical beingness that requires no definition to exist.

 

I commit myself to expose how within our current society and the ‘need’ for us to ‘define who/ what we are’ is in fact reinforcing the evil nature that seeks to have its place of consumption, satisfaction and opposition wherein we become just these lighting bolts that seek to be excited at all times in order to move while constantly wanting to get away from the negative experience and remain in a state of perfect bliss, which can only exist if energy exists – and energy is the very abuse of the physical substance as life that we have used and consumed in the name of our personal ‘power’ and satisfaction.

 

I commit myself to stop the need to be constantly defining myself as an experience and instead, embrace silence as I walk here as breath wherein every pattern of self-deprecation as an energetic experience – whether positive or negative – is understood, seen and realized as a self-abusive pattern as I now see, realize and understand how all the experiences that had no ‘explanation’ before are now becoming clear as a result of us having become the manifested consequence of our abdication toward life/ as life, which perpetuated the ‘who I am’ as that experience of separation which is then what leads to a constant seeking of experience in order to ‘feel alive’ or ‘be someone’ which is only seeking to define ‘who we are’ as that very relationship of separation which must stop here, as I realize that I am perfectly able to exist without using the mind as a constant energetic input onto the physical reality that I am able to move in, walk, breath, eat and experience as an actual moment to moment – instead of future projecting, or remembering or seeking to ‘feel something’ in order to ‘feel alive.’

 

I commit myself to show, how – we have become servants to the Devil/Energy-Authority for ourselves to only WITHIN ourselves manifest our Authority/Godhood unto ourselves, where our existence had become completely internalized and automated within ourselves as Mind/Consciousness – only existing to survive and possess ourselves as Energy; with no substantial living action visible to bring about a change of ourselves within and without.

In this – I commit myself, to through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application, speaking and sharing – walk the Visible Action of The Decision to no more accept and allow myself to Serve the Devil/Energy-Authority within and as the Cause/Acceptance of accepting separation, and Effect/Allowance of allowing the relationship between the negative, neutral and positive energies of Mind; but align myself into and as equality and oneness with and as the human physical-body, to stand with and as Life-Authority of and as equality and oneness as what is/will be best for All, as my process of taking directive-principle as responsibility for who, how and what I am in every moment of Breath, and so no more exist in and as the automation of Consciousness that has become the authority over and of me, the physical-body and this physical-existence, but in fact walk in and as Awareness, here in every moment of Breath.” Sunette Spies*

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I commit myself to continue exposing our ‘real nature’ as evil in order to finally take off the veil of energy that we have abdicated our self-directive power to, and become a being that is willing to walk the necessary time and space to reintegrate myself as the physicality of oneness and equality as Life, as that which I separated myself from in the pursuit of happiness, the pursuit of ‘me as an experience’ as energy, of which now I see, realize and understand has been the very key point of ultimate enslavement that must be stopped with the implementation of the Equal Money System wherein real Neighborism is able to emerge as a new human nature, once that we have all realized that we can only thrive in equality as a group, as collective that is able to decide what’s best for all to live by and simply apply it/ be it/ become it.

 

Desteni Forum for further support with Self Forgiveness and Self Realization of how to live in Self Honesty

Read our blogs at Journey to Life 

No Angels, No Devils – Only Physicality as who I really am.

 

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Day 39: Hypocrisy

 

hypocrisy
n   the practice of claiming to have higher standards or more laudable beliefs than is the case.
hupokrisis ‘acting of a theatrical part’, from hupokrinesthai ‘play a part, pretend’.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever judge another being as being hypocrite without realizing that we have all become hypocrites the moment that we live according to the idea that we want to fulfill of ourselves in our minds, chasing our wants, needs and desires and using all means available to achieve them, wherein we portray ourselves as a character that is able to ‘get what one wants’ by using deceptive means that in no way consider life and what is best for all, but only self interest and personal gratification.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people in my reality as hypocrites toward myself, when in fact the only one that was judging them was myself in my secret mind, believing that because ‘they need me/ they require my stuff’ they are being hypocrite toward me just to keep things ‘at ease’ around, without realizing that I have been the only one creating the point of hypocrisy by having thoughts, judgments about others in my mind that I have justified in self righteousness wherein projecting blame toward others makes me ‘the victim’ and the ‘good person’ that is ‘good spirited’ and is ‘true’ to herself – without realizing that the very act of judging and having thoughts in the back of my head about others that they can in no way see/ be aware of is making me exactly that which I am judging others for:a hypocrite.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that we have all always been hypocrites as that has become ‘the way’ to survive in a dog eat dog world, wherein pretending to care, pretending to be interested in another’s life, about animals, about the environment, about those in need comes like a ‘nice thought’ that makes us feel like we are ‘considerate’ toward fellow living beings, just to eventually in one second forget about it and continue living our lives, pursuing happiness, scheming ways to win, seeing how we can get the most with the least inversion, planning out ways to become effective within the system that functions in corruption and dishonesty by playing the game, without having ever considered that the acceptance of such constant scheming to be ‘more,’ to be ‘above others’ is what is driving this entire Earth to its absolute depletion, wherein everything that will be left-  if we don’t stop ourselves -is our dreams of chasing after the elusive pot of gold in the name of personal ‘power,’ that can only exist as an illusion within the delusional and schizophrenic monetary system that is based upon abuse and not life.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others as hypocrites for having approaching me in the name of self-interest and not in a ‘genuine’ way, without realizing that there are no ‘genuine intentions’ in this world wherein we have all bound ourselves to a system of survivalism, where the one that is able to be the best liar and ‘fool’ the most is the one that gets the most power as the ultimate reward = money in the world – hence how could I have ever gotten ‘hurt’ by seeing the truth of ‘others’ intentions’ without realizing that I have ruled my life according to the same principle of having to play the rules of this abusive game in order to survive, which are rules that I had never questioned and that I had accepted as ‘how things are’ and in that, justify all abuse and neglect toward life, which became me accepting hypocrisy as ‘who I am’ toward everyone and everything in this world, pretending to be ‘just fine’ while in fact, I could only deem that ‘everything is fine’ by deliberately accepting lies as truth and making myself ‘more’ through such ‘truths,’ as knowledge and information that I have defined as ‘who I am’ – in this

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become equally deceptive and hypocrite the moment that I accepted another to be and become only a personality, a set of preferences, beliefs, judgments, values, words, pictures, emotions and feelings that I have accepted as ‘who I am/ who others are,’ which is in fact accepting the abuse of life ‘as life’ and pretend that we and everyone in this world were in fact ‘living,’ while in reality, we have all become hypocrites in pretending to live while abusing life, regardless of the evidence that is here every single day, in every moment  wherein animals are going extinct due to our abuse, people die out of sheer human negligence to provide unconditional life support, the environment is extremely exploited in the name of personal power, in the name of human supremacy over all other life forms that are regarded as ‘less than,’ which in fact makes me and all that have defined ourselves as our ego, our personality, our beliefs, our dreams, our feelings, emotions, preferences as hypocrites toward life, because we never dared to question ‘who we are’ in relation to life and how come that our ‘lives’ could only be fueled by using what is unconditionally here as the Earth and what we call ‘resources’ and selling it for our own personal ‘benefit’ which is translated to money as power in this world-system.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become the ultimate hypocrite by believing that I could point out ‘flaws’ in others, while not even having dared to realize that who I am is the product of a society and a world built upon lies wherein no genuine thoughts, intentions and values have ever existed, because we’ve sold life in the name of money which means that whatever I ever pondered as genuine, as ‘sincere’ within me/ others was in fact part of the lies to keep myself within the belief that ‘I am a good person’ / ‘I am trust worthy’ – not wanting to see that this can only exist as long as ‘I am protected’ and I have money in my pocket as a form of security – otherwise, when my very own survival is threatened, all ‘honesty’ and ‘sincere intentions’ would be dumped out of the window because reality then knocks at our door to realize that: nothing that we have ever perceived to be ‘good natured’ was in fact so, as it had always been a cover up, a make-up for the inherent negative experience that we have all stemmed from since the inception and conception of ourselves within this existence. (Read Sunette’s blog for more)

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to believe that I was sincere and a genuine ‘good hearted’ person, without realizing that I used this as a way to manipulate my reality to obtain and gain that which I knew would make me ‘worthy’ at the eyes of others in society and in that, being able to eventually create a ‘good reputation’ that can be translated as ‘good source of money’ in a system wherein personalities that are presented as ‘good willed,’ ‘sincere’ and ‘honest’ are ‘rare to find,’ yet not realizing that any self-perception of being ‘good natured’ and ‘honest’/ sincere has only been a way to continue surviving in the ‘good side’ of reality, while avoiding and deliberately covering up the ‘bad side’ which is how I had deemed others to be: hypocrites, cheaters, liars without daring to see how the very scheming and planning of my own life, myself, my personality and the picture presentation that I built of myself toward others, was aiming at serving two gods –  wanting to do ‘good’ to life but wanting to preserve my specialness and my recognition in the system as a way to be able to continue abusing/living a ‘good life,’ yet pretending to care about those that were ‘less fortunate’ than myself.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that I’ve become the very epitome of hypocrisy, not only as an individual but as humanity, as an entire race that has dared to pretend that ‘everything is fine’ and we all go walking our days, seeking to ‘make it’ and looking for our greatest next excitement and successful living, living to the ‘max’ while neglecting all the effects and consequences of having lived by the law of self-interest throughout our existence, which is now facing a turning point that affects us all, and that must be a wake up call for everyone that is already seeing and living the consequences of our endless disregard toward life.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to judge smiles as a sign of hypocrisy without realizing that I would play out the exact same mechanism every time that I actually perceived a potential ‘threat’ or ‘antagonism’ from another, wherein the positive attitude such as unconsciously smiling was used to ‘soften’ any form of hostility that I could be facing in such moments, which reveals how being ‘affable’ and ‘good natured’ as an overall positive attitude is actually stemming from fear of conflict, fear of having enemies, fear of antagonism wherein through deception and lies we can ‘buy’ another to have them be ‘on our side’ in a world wherein only self interest can be the reason to divide and conquer.

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I have been a hypocrite from the very first stages in my life wherein I knew that presenting an ‘adorable expression’ would lead family, teachers, older people to be fascinated by me and in that, have everyone just ‘loving me’ and ‘appreciating me’ which would make me feel ‘good’ as the positive reward that I then became so used to constantly and continuously obtain from others – in this

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that hypocrisy became the deceptive portrayal of a decorative positive experience toward people as my modus vivendi, in order to always have everyone/ the most ‘on my side’ and ‘agreeing’ with me, wherein I ensured that all things would always work according to ‘my plans/ my way,’ which means that hypocrisy became the ultimate manipulation to always get what I want, how I want it and whenever I want it, through instilling sympathy for me as the devil that looked for ways and means to always get ‘the most of the cake,’ as all the positive energy experience that attention, care, money and compliments that I could gather from others, in order to then ‘value’ myself as ‘worthy’ because others could see me/ consider me as ‘worthy’ and a ‘valuable person.’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to accept positive rewards toward my hypocrisy which made a professional life-long hypocrite that knew how to ‘handle’ the system through creating and developing different personalities according to ‘where’ and with whom I was in my world, wherein I learned that different tricks as behavior, personality, words, self-presentation could work different according to each moment, each person to obtain my positive reward  becoming a chameleon that is multi-personality based,  and never ever considering this as something that was signifying deception and dishonesty, because I thought that everyone else was doing it, so it ‘must be’ the way to cope with reality, and in that

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become an equal part of a deceptive, corruptible and life-treason system wherein we have all pretended that it was ‘okay’ to place price tags upon ourselves to be sold for that positive reward – to place price tags upon  life wherein we thought that it was ‘okay’ to have people starving in isolated countries in the world wherein they could not ruin our ‘pretty picture world;’ wherein I made it okay to compete against others by presenting a made-up personality,  misrepresenting, manipulating and abusing the very  life that constitutes my beingness and diminishing it to a single personality as a bundle of thoughts, feelings, emotions, desires, wants, needs, preferences as a constant engine that had to be kept running by consuming more and more of anything that could keep me existing in that ‘positive idea of self,’ never pondering why I required to ever feel ‘more’ and ‘better’ about myself – and in this, never questioning why we were always seeking to be and portray ourselves as an ‘image of success’ at the eyes of others, in spite of the actuality that was going on within us, as all the inner conflict, self-hatred, self-loathing, anger, frustration and desires for revenge that we were only seeking to exert toward ‘the world/ others’ as an apparent blame for ‘them’ as the ones that went before us, having left a world in shambles, while the reality is that I as everything and everyone that is here have been equal participants in this game that we have called ‘life/ living’ wherein only through deceptive/ hypocrite means could we get some form of ‘decency,’ which implies that respect for life and human integrity have never been existent in this world.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that ‘higher standards’ can exist as an immaculate form of benevolence in this reality, without realizing that all positive experience is in fact stemming from our very own strife to make ourselves ‘more’ and ‘higher’ than what we are, because we have enslaved ourselves to an energetic system wherein we can only be ‘worthy’ and ‘good’ at the eyes of others through building up an image as a reputation that can be then ‘upgraded’ and ‘inflated’ like a price and sold and rewarded for good money as the actual positive-reward that can lead to fulfill the ‘higher standard’ that I sought to get and be recognized for as the ‘moreness’ of myself, which is and can only exist through abuse and general conflict/ opposition and abuse toward life and the consideration of Life in Equality.

 

As I see and realize that everything I have ever believed myself to be and think as a positive attribute has been part of the lies and deception in this world, I understand the importance of walking a process of Wiring, Self-Forgiveness and Self Corrective Application to give back to myself that positive experience that I always sought to be and become in the name of personal glory, wherein I tacitly agreed upon living in a system of abuse just to eventually get my positive reward for having been such a ‘good player’ in the system, abiding to the laws and rules of ‘survival of the fittest’ as the natural selection that I used as a justification to build up my ‘positive attributes’ to become part of the ‘winners’ in the system, and in that, forgetting eventually about all the ‘good-doer’ type of personality once that power and the desire for it simply corrupts even the most ‘honest’ man on Earth, as once that abuse is accepted and allowed in one single part/ aspect in our reality = it becomes acceptable for all, which is precisely how it is important for me to become The Point that Stops perpetuating the existence of myself as a deceptive and hypocrite toward myself/everyone else and this entire world the moment that I pretended to ‘care’ but only really care about my personal satisfaction, which can only exist as the saturation of positive energy based upon the abuse of all life.

 

I commit myself to expose my own hypocrisy toward myself/others/ the world from the personal to the global systems wherein everything ‘positive’ and ‘good natured’ was in fact the make-up put upon the actual shady, nasty and greedy side of each and every single participant in this world system that we have accepted and allowed to use for personal glorification and self-interest, and seeing it as something ‘normal’ and ‘acceptable’ to live-by and seek-for, without ever questioning why it is that we can’t ever get to an optimum position that benefits all and seeing that the cause for the problems in the world is in fact our own personal pursuit of happiness wherein we only care about ‘our own stability/ benefit/ security’ as money, while deliberately neglecting to ask/ ponder/ question the fact that not everyone in this world has the same access to money to have a decent living condition, nor can even they exist in the same ‘dream state’ of pursuing happiness without even having the very basic needs such as food, shelter, water, clothes, sanitation available within their world, which places into perspective the extremes of our deliberate human ignorance toward the world as ourselves.

 

Therefore I commit myself to walk my process to show and reveal to myself that anything that I had deemed as ‘good’ within myself, could only stem from a negative self-created experience that sought to be covered up in an acceptable way wherein I could obtain and gain other’s attention and acceptance in the name of my personal power, power that can only exist if others are ‘less’ than me in my own mind.

 

I commit myself to walk in every moment in Self Honesty wherein I ensure I no longer place myself as a separate part of the system that apparently ‘doesn’t abuse,’ because of believing that ‘I always wanted to do good’ – while not even realizing how this was also seeking a reward to myself for ‘doing good’ as recognition and eventually making of it all a ‘great life’ that I could live out of keeping myself as a lie within a system wherein hypocrites gain the most as they are the best liars when complying to the system and being seemingly ‘benevolent’ while in fact the world is in reverse, and all those that had nothing were the ones that we kept in such a deliberate isolated and caged position in order for us to ‘feel good’ about being able to do something for ‘the less fortunate,’ which proves that altruism is the most blatant form of hypocrisy that is stemming from personal glorification and never from a genuine care toward another as equals, as all that is sought in altruism is to feel good about having people depending on you, as that makes you ‘powerful’ as a mind that thinks that having power over others is something fulfilling.

 

I commit myself to stop any projection of hypocrisy as a judgment toward others in my head as I realize that we have all been equally participating within a system wherein we have compromise each other to only be able to thrive if we comply to the ‘rules of the game’ as a deliberate form of abuse toward all life/ all living forms in the name of personal power and self-gratification.

 

I commit myself to expose how there can be no ‘personal power’ unless it is based upon abuse, and how the only power that exists is here as ourselves as the physical breathing moment wherein I can stand still in my mind, not participating in desires, wants, needs, dreams and the opposite as lack, self rejection, blame, excuses, justifications and self-deprecation that are equally energetic experiences that I have defined as part of ‘who I am’ and in this, expose what is it that we have been In Fact abusing while keeping our personal states of mind ‘alive’ which is ourselves.

 

I commit myself to reveal, show and demonstrate how it is only through Self-Forgiveness in Self-Honesty that we can in fact stop fighting for our own survival and stopping the desire for ‘power’ and ‘moreness’ of ourselves – and reveal this process of Self Honesty as the only way that we can make us trust-worthy again with Life, that Life can stand in and as a system that benefits all, that is regarded as one and equal within and for everyone, wherein Who I am is no longer defined by a point of separation of my self equality and oneness.

 

I commit myself to be part of the group of people that have committed themselves to ensure that the rules of the game within this ecosystem function according to that which is best for all, at all times, wherein we can finally stop being hypocrites toward one another and discover what it is in fact the genuine expression of human beings and life, once that the bonds of dependency through the current monetary system as survivalism and abuse, stop and reveal the actual nature of ourselves to be worked with once that the threat toward life is removed as an actual self-willed action within the understanding that: we were the only ones that generated, stimulated an perpetuated such separation from substance/ life in an attempt to make of life an experience as a ‘feeling of being more’ than ourselves here, in the physical.

 

I commit myself to use the word hypocrisy as a way to rattle the cages of all that are caged in a comfort zone of self-dishonesty as I stand and dare to call out the abuse that we have all accepted in the name of personal glory, and in that, reveal our ‘true nature’ as well as showing/ revealing how we can only redeem ourselves once that we dare to care to create a world system of money that can be equally distributed for all, as a self-forgiveness act to clear the sins of our past wherein we only sought our individual satisfaction – we can only become self-honest and trustworthy with life/ as life if we dare to give and receive life unconditionally to all parts equally, within the realization that we are one organism that must function in equality at all times and that any form of abuse will only cause the re-load of the same abusive patterns of the past.

 

I commit myself to breathe here, to walk my own secret mind toward others beings throughout my life until I make sure that I have cleared my standing here as every moment of consistently existing as breath only, so that I can in fact be trusted again with life. And extend this point of self-support toward others as I see and realize that we can only stop if we All collectively stop and take responsibility for the spider web spun in separation of life as ourselves.

For more support, visit:

Desteni

Desteni I Process

Eqafe

Read our blogs at Journey to Life 

 

 

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How I was able to Hear Desteni?

This wasn’t planned at all, but on a day like today January 29th but in 2008 I stumbled upon my second Desteni video which I got to finally watch. I was alone at night in my apartment and ready to get back to school in the following days, while continuing a process of being longing for a change in my life in a desperate manner.

The months before Desteni – and my entire lifetime if I could say so – I searched for answers that I could not get in encyclopedias or my dictionary. I sought into the occult and mystic realms another form of ‘knowledge’ that could make any sense to all of this ‘life’ of mine of which I was losing my ground on. I was absolutely enthralled with spirituality, the idea of ‘God’ being everywhere, us being god, being one, seeking love, wanting to ‘feel love’ and within this getting quite a burnt perspective on reality which lead me to follow certain ideas/ beliefs of myself having this benevolent mission in life that I had to seek ‘guidance’ for in order to ‘fulfill’ it.

At that time I was questioning myself extensively. I would write about losing the ‘meaning’ of who I am and how I had to go back to memories to remind myself ‘who I was,’ yet at the same time not believing that all I was is this ‘so-called lifetime’ as I wrote. I had been interested in how everything develops/ works as a process in life and this curiosity is what lead me to research on various topics like religions, philosophy, mysticism which included alchemy, magic, esotericism, kabbalah, Sufism and the list goes on with various ‘isms.’ I mean, I tried to get a hold of each thing to see what ‘suited my interests.’ Now we know that religions are designed according to people’s minds and cultural lifestyles which now makes me realize how it is that I couldn’t ‘fully identify’ with any of them. I wanted to ‘make my own religion’ as a syncretism of all of which I could find ‘supportive’ from each one of these religions/philosophies/ practices/ cultures, etc.

I’ve been quite fond of writing and I had been doing it for 8 years by that time wherein I wrote “I know the writings and the essence of my thoughts are creations.” Yet all of this I would still link to the idea of ‘enlightenment’ which is essentially what I was seeking at the time. I also would feel like ‘death’ was around the corner – yep, it was the death of me as who I had believed myself all the time.

I’ll share my exact words on the first encounter with Desteni written out in the evening of January 29th, 2008:

“So I saw this girl from Desteni bringing Ian Xel Lungold who is the man that got me investigating about the Mayan Calendar. So I thank him, now I know what goes one a bit more. . I mean, it’s really tough when you truly think of it, but it is completely plausible as I’ve been in touch with such things since I was a little girl. I was brought up with the belief in spiritualism. Basically my whole life has been based in their beliefs.”

Then I describe several events that I used as a form of believing that spiritualism was real as in ‘real life events’ that supported me to believe in it. I proceeded to write hours later – I apologize for the sketchy and jumpy type of enunciation, but I was mostly on weed all the time and I would write in a rather messy way, yet I wanted to share it as ‘raw’ as it is, this is to clarify that the words might not be well suited to describe ‘Desteni’ yet it was how I grasped it at the time.

“It’s 11:05 and I come here only to make or point out the fact/ statement that a whole dimension of who I was has been completely/ almost shattered today. Something beyond here and there changed my mind. So the channel (portal) can be applied to Einstein, Tesla, Marilyn Monroe, Dimebag Darrel I mean, everyone. So there goes this manifestation… It is beyond all schemes, I couldn’t have (illegible ‘thought this’) not even in my wildest dreams. But seeing Kurt Cobain speaking through a blond woman makes you wonder how you really haven’t (illegible) on stuff, even more when we’ve certainly felt like I didn’t belong here. The idea of good and evil dissolving, I hadn’t thought about the idea of god and it makes me wonder. We are our words and I allow myself to forgive myself for ALL and for it ALL. Each pinch of doubt, fear, insecurity might come from my pre-installed system as it feels odd to be coming out of the end. […] So it’s been a long, long day filled with truly, this time TRULY unexpected information, therefore I’m grateful and I’ll try to begin acting as one, being honest with myself as the very chains of reality, this shadow world comes to a transformation from the core. I want to assist that change.

I’ll try to watch them all (videos.) Lots of good vibes. I thank everything until now for I am indeed now aware of my own nature”

And that was the entry for the day. The real ‘shift came through the writings two days after I spent all my time watching videos while having the last days of vacation from school.

The following pages contain very ‘powerful’ realizations that I would like to share here in a summed-up version of entire pages wherein I expressed how excited I was and all that I was ‘ready to give up’ for this process. I’m even a bit flabbergasted myself to see how immediate my decision was to HEAR – and this is all mostly because of seeing the common sense in having to be the ones that cut the chains of our own shackles in this world.  I’ll transcribe a bit here:

“It’s the last day of the first month. It could officially mean that it’s the end of my vacation time and all I can realize is that all my life could be thrown out the window right now because my belief systems have fell and with it, many things I became a part of. I saw each system demon come in and talk about polarities, beauty, addictions, god, trinity, everyone, everything. And this made me ‘feel better’ like I have a solution to the possible outcome of it all. I heard LaVey saying who he’s is/was a demon and he’s in the dimensions observing how humans go to heaven, their heaven once they die.

So me and that LSD experience. I won’t ever do that again as I must realize what I saw was still the product of our mind. I am really curious about Gurdjieff and his afterlife. He says he was erased from Earth because he realized true awareness of ‘I am.’

So really, it is a BIG change for I now know my thoughts, feelings, emotions are part of the system I am. This isn’t really me, we’re covered in bags of skin with huge egos while thinking about success and happiness in the system. I don’t know what I’ll become or what will actually happen after this whole breakthrough. I really feel I want to quit it ALL. I mean it. So, words are me.

Really this is the end of our world as we know it, really. What will come is our Self Realization through the destruction of our systems/demons and I feel think 2012 will be only a shifting time for all of us to save Mother Earth and become Aware, not saved as Jesus (through the Portal) said, but become aware that I don’t have to worship anyone […] Therefore I won’t be experiencing the unity as I thought. It’s good I’ve got a record since 2000 of my life, so now I will consider, re-consider it all…”

Feb 5th and my world was falling apart already within my relationship in terms of how I began sharing about Desteni with family and friends in a rather enthusiastic manner that didn’t suit their scheme of who I was/ what I was supposed to be. Here I share something of this day

“I’ll be like the temperance so I may have time to realize how we exist through relationships. It can’t make me sad anymore, it’s a fight against my own mind. That is judgment day, is here for me, it’s beginning. I do not believe in anything outside of myself anymore, no more religions, no more surrendering to a higher power. There’s no such God as we are god ourselves. All of us, we just have to realize it.

[…] The deal with it all now is becoming my words and it requires subjugation of our big egos towards unity and equality. Will that ever happen? All my beliefs on 2012 are awaiting (in relation to a final ‘end of the world as shared in previous blogs) In fact I like the idea, but what kind of seems torturing is the fact that there’s no solution, there’s no going out of it all forever.  […] It is fascinating I know I’m not alone, I’m not a stranger, I’ll rather try to burn my ego down to ashes and let the true me get out. I won’t hold on to things as I realize how everything is constantly moving. What’s real? I don’t know. And I’m glad I’m not into a relationship anymore.”

And now I remember how initial ‘doubts’ on Desteni were triggered by others in my world – though common sense was undeniable:

“What if Desteni is actually a conspiracy? Well I don’t feel so, it’s not nice to think that all the books I recently bought are nothing but fantasies either, yet they can be so. Music is a system, art, expression, feelings, so what the hell on earth can I do? I’m just waiting, TELL ME! I have no desire whatsoever and it might be really bad/ good whatever. Everyone… So I sometimes wonder… maybe I could be very useful on heaven here on Earth… I have not bought my life yet but I’ll be patient. I’m doing my effort and placing my endeavor towards – not what is called enlightenment – but the truth of our essence. There is nothing to be scared of but of ourselves. So here we go, that’s it. I will not think of anything but forgive myself and I walk for this is all I got now, somehow.

I will trust them this time for it makes complete sense to me. I want to thank Jack and everyone out there in the dimensions who are currently coming to us (through the portal) in a specific moment of our lives. We can’t deny this, we’re in this together, all of us so we might as well hurry, we are aware of this now. That’s why maybe we all felt our worlds crumbling down for some time now, we didn’t know the dimensions were actually struggling to take out all the white light system. So, we were enslaved, huh, who could tell? To me it isn’t much of a new thing because I’ve seen everyone and I know I feel their whatever they are feeling and I’ve always felt weird whenever a young kid approaches me to ask for money or anything. How odd really, we don’t have to ask more. I will continuously make my endeavor to stop the mind. To know who I really am and so, If we are all gods, we better make up to our own nature. Nothing is sacred anymore but all of it together. So that’s about it. This is the real change.

Then the ‘crisis/ breakdown’ came wherein I started digesting more and more of the material, yet it was a necessary process as we all walking this process know and have experienced at some point in our lives/ process.

“So today it wasn’t such a  great thing going back to school. I know it was going to be mad, I couldn’t really sleep that well, I kept wondering about many things and I had goose bumps, very intense ones so I hope today I find a reason for that. If there’s one, Maybe I’m going through a deep crisis indeed, I need help.

Self Honesty, using common sense. I got a message from Andrea at Desteni. I feel great I know and them, it’s great. It has helped me a lot.

My world is really falling apart, it consists of my beliefs, thoughts, that includes all the stuff I used to cling to. There are no more chakras, there will be no more reincarnation as Buddha (through the portal) wrote – so what happens then? So I’m guiding everyday towards equality and it’s hard considering life in this city which is hell. Art is even nonsense now.

Everything up to where we are now makes no sense. There’s no ‘white light’ anymore so we’re on our own. This will be a major shift, I might as well sell everything and go for a ride. But I enjoy myself here I am now. And I’m thankful for it all too. No matter what, I’ll be a ‘stop the mind freak’ if it’s necessary for me to be so. I’ll quit weed if it’s needed, I’ll do so. I believe I was like a heretic or something (in a past life belief), I believe I stood up for No God in other lives and now I returned for a while as a god conceiver, a ‘god seeking person,’ a mystic which is the ultimate enslavement by that of ‘surrendering to a higher power’ – God! I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to think of a higher power other than me. I am living my words so I make it happen. If I need to quit my friendship, I will only if required. I hear my blood streaming. So this is where we got to. It is now, the apocalypse (revelation) is here slowly but surely. The revealing. I am all, I am alive. My blood is pumping.”

The following days I continued describing all the series of realizations with regards to what and who I had become, I realized that I was fooling myself by using weed to ‘cope with the message’ and eventually stopped it, the same happened with my relationship as I saw for myself the deception it was and how it was not supporting myself to walk this process.

I found it cool to share these thoughts straight from my notebook as ‘who I was’ 4 years ago wherein I was waking up from a slumber filled with ‘positivism.’ Desteni became that final and initial point to a process of having sought for a ‘solution’ to this world and having sought for a ‘way out’ of my own ‘chains,’ I saw the common sense in having to become the solution in this world once that I realized there was no God. This proves that I had in fact deposited faith on some benevolent being eventually being able to ‘save us.’ Now I know that it is definitely not so and that we are here, walking our process of self-revelation as the realization of who and what we are as one and equal which is not nice or pretty and implies taking Self Responsibility: an actual understanding of How we have created this world and walk through the Manifested Consequences in/ as our world.

Common sense could not be denied and I walked a process of shedding off my beliefs and embraced the new way wherein Forgiving myself was the way to stop participating in delusions like god or having some form of ‘guidance’ above me to become this ‘enlightened being.’ It was very supportive to get messages from people at Desteni when I did ‘seek for help’ as I was going a bit crazy with all the material. It only lasted a couple of days but what I got really allowed me to settle down and assert myself to walk this.

I eventually walked through the entire breakdown of crying and thinking that I had ‘lost myself’ but it was only beginning to step out of my religion and realizing that I could not continue as the ‘me’ that I had lived as until then.

Now I’m here, I did finish school and I’m actually in that point again in my life where a cycle is about to end here and a new one will begin. I can’t believe it’s been 4 years already yet it is so and we continue walking here.

All I can say is to be patient with yourself if you’re beginning this process, takes time to walk through one’s mind as thoughts, feelings, emotions and the rest of our reality within writing and applying self forgiveness, we’re all still all walking it as well.  I see how the commitment to be part of this process of Equality and Oneness was almost an immediate decision, because I had sought to be part of a change that could give a ‘meaning’ to my life. I realized how I could make myself the point of my existence and within that, make of my life this instrument to transform and establish a system that supports all Life.

Desteni is the process to get to live in this world. It might have come in the ‘weird’ presentation of a portal with all of these fascinating messages that made all sense to me. Yet the process of walking it and applying it/ living it became that single ‘point’ in my world that I required to realize that I was in fact able to become that which I saw  ‘knew’ we were even if it was in the back of my head. I was able to finally get the ‘reality check’ that I required to see how deluding myself with god and spirituality had been in fact neglecting my reality. The breakdown that I described was precisely because of realizing how I had been living in a bubble of positive thinking while abuse, suffering and violence was everything that was creating and making of this world such a fucked up place, all of it beginning within our very own thoughts (!)

Witnessing that through documentaries and videos we would get on a daily basis by Bernard, allowed me to open my eyes to the reality I had neglected. This was probably one of the key points within my Desteni-process wherein I started looking outside of myself to a reality that required to be exposed and shared to see what we are accepting and allowing to exist in our world, our creation. And with that, create and stand as the necessary solution that we are now presenting and walking as the Equal Money System.

Some lines in those journal entries contained some lyrics by John Frusciante that I wrote and seemed appropriate for this point in my life:

My life goes blank
Life was never what you thought.
Life was never what you saw
The lights go out

I dared to turn off the light and face the reality of what I had become, I wrote that it was ‘painful’ but understood why I required to walk this process and committed myself to it fully.

I’m grateful as I’ll always be for being here, being able to share my story today after 4 years of walking this process, between hell and Earth and back again, facing the nitty gritty details of myself that I would sometimes get embarrassed to even expose to myself. All of it I’m able to Self Forgive and prepare myself to be the point that takes Self Responsibility, that does stand up to create the necessary system for all of us to live as equals.

If you want to read more about my process, check out the archives now available in this same blog in the year 2008.

We continue walking. Thanks for reading.

Watch the vlogs on this topic here:

2012 Walking with Desteni: Why I could Hear the Desteni Message – Part 1

2012 Walking with Desteni: Why I could Hear the Desteni Message – Part 2

First note when watching Desteni 2008

First notes while watching Desteni, January 30th 2008


Fluffy-sparkly li(v)es

We all are here for some special purpose so STOP
STOP being prisoner of past
AND become the architect of your future
DO the things u fear… – spiritual proverb

If we were here for some special purpose, don’t you think we are way overdue in accomplishing it? Or that we should be getting some clear indication of what it might possibly be about? We have gone through the same cycles over and over again throughout thousands of years with no possible answer to ‘fulfill our mission’ – could this be an indication that there was no mission at all? What would it be like if we got to understand that we’ve been a cosmic joke? Would there by any ego-enhancement within that?

The relevancy of the Desteni material is to realize that all sweetened justifications and ideas of us being here for some ‘supreme reason’ have been  blatant lies to keep the entire belief system of ‘god’ and the holy trini.ties in place. In other words, keeping ‘good faith’ and believing that we would eventually ascend to a ‘higher status’ once we brake the ‘chains of the past’ has been another form of control to keep everyone seeking for the ultimate blissful experience and never ever questioning how dysfunctional the system is and how we’ve managed to live life after life without any actual progress.

Evolution anyone?

Here we are, more ‘human’ than ever, not even able to recognize ourselves as the creators of this entire existence and take self responsibility for it, not able to see the blatant lies we’ve believed in for such a long time beginning with the current monetary system, not being able to stop such basic problems like terminal diseases, poverty and starvation regardless of having enough technology to get to Mars and explore the nice pictures of the universe far far away; not being able to stop the constant thinking which is the very same chatter that makes us believe that there is something ‘magnificent’ yet to be unveiled as our living purpose. It’s all been fluffy sparkling lies to make us feel better = less miserable when realizing that there is no such purpose in this world other than realizing what self creation is – and that hasn’t been understood within all its implications.

False self-empowerment can only uplift someone through pre-accepted and allowed beliefs of grandeur and magnificence as our ‘true nature’ wherein self then tries to ‘overcome the past’ and the ‘limitations’ through doing that which you believe will ‘break you free,’ apparently becoming ‘more’ through beating yourself against the odds – lol. It is really ludicrous to have this idea that becoming a ‘better being’ entails only considering your own experience, your own beliefs, your own reality without even questioning what type of ‘fear’ can someone that is starving  overcome to become the architects of their future? Hmm, I bet that their greatest fear just as any other human being’s would be linked to dying and currently, not even if they could use the law of attraction and visualize themselves as ‘god’ itself could they manifest food to eat and clean water to drink. How narrow minded do we have to be to believe in such ‘uplifting statements’ of there being a god, a something/someone that is having it all ‘under control’ while there are beings that cannot clearly even conceive that the suffering they endure every single day could possibly have any ‘higher purpose’ other than being a sick joke from a non-existent god that solaces in watching people starve wherein they can’t even uplift their condition to a living one. If there is no god, then who are the ones allowing such atrocities to remain as a constant aspect of our reality without doing anything to stop it? No one else but ourselves.

All things god, all things light, all things love, all things happiness, all things enlightenment, all things spirituality, all things bliss, all things that can be ‘exciting’ have but one single purpose: keeping everyone with a fake smile in place making themselves believe that human life is inherently benevolent  – how can we possibly even pretend everything is ‘fine’ and feel ‘blessed’ and ‘loved’ when there is but a single person in this world that is you and me as well that is being abused, that is starving, that is suffering some terminal disease, that is being raped, that is being fired after serving as a loyal slave for a lifetime – all events designed by an apparent benevolent force according to all those that preach some form of godhead exist. How come that we’ve kept ourselves perfectly occupied within our minds, not being able to see the forest for the trees, yet always seeking the next biggest excitement, the next uplifting energetic experience that can keep us ‘going,’ putting on the same show everyday until there is eventually no more artificial power to keep it running.

This is how Self Honesty is the most difficult thing we’ll ever walk in this world as there can be no other point of motivation outside of ourselves but ourselves – being the point of our existence is something that we’ve never realized and in that, self-acceptance, self-will and creating an actual consideration toward ourselves as this reality are points that must be cultivated for the very first time in our human existence. Self Honesty means that we move by principle, we realize ourselves as the creators of this reality simply to take self responsibility for it, stopping any form of personal ‘upliftment’ to make us then feel better and special, just to have something to ‘strive’ for and accept the enslavement that exists as a tricky aspect of our existence and that’s it.

Well, there are thousands of quotes like the one at the beginning of this post polluting cyberspace – I say ‘polluting’ because they are like temporary kicks of sugar to our brain wherein we believe that we can ‘do it all’ and feel better about ourselves which is already accepting a form of ‘positivity’ and ‘brightness’ added to an existence that we’ve accepted as inherently flawed in the first place – that’s the only reason why we would stick to the ‘positive side,’ just to hide the actual facts and self-experience that I suggest: must be exposed for what it is. The more we keep our demons trapped, the more difficult it will get to face ourselves as such experiences to stop and correct them. Living in denial is living in such false sense of self-empowerment, it is definitely  yet another crime against humanity as one is certainly missing out the entire reality of this world that is certainly NOT blissful, not great, not special in any way whatsoever.

The moment we dare to step down from our high horse, we will be able to walk in humbleness, understanding how reality operates and walking the necessary steps to become the solution that has never existed within this world directed and created to benefit all equally.

Overcome your fears.

Okay so by following such advices like the one in the quote, I could jump down from the top of a skyscraper and apparently that would be creating my future and being ‘my architect’ – I bet that wouldn’t change a thing other than experiencing major fractures or injuries or even death – this reality is certainly not exactly the same as the matrix movie.  We can all see how this is the type of energetic ‘uplift’ that anyone can obtain in some form of spiritual exorcism wherein you feel completely ‘great’ and apparently liberated in the moment, only having to wait for a while until the effect runs out and the actual bullshit starts hitting the fan – just like any other drug really. This leaves us with the realization that such words can only feel like ‘sweets’ that dissolve very quickly and end up leaving a bitter taste which won’t be corrected unless we start taking actual self responsibility to Stop the Past, and be the actual creators of a reality that isn’t based on fears, limitations and polarities of good and evil as the memories of abuse and negligence lived out toward ourselves. For that, Self Forgiveness is the way.

The fact that in such statement self creation is only existing as a way to ‘overcome one’s fears’ and feeling great about it is revealing to what extent we’ve limited self creation to. ‘Overcoming fears’ can only be an initial point to start debunking the lies and limitations we’ve accepted as ‘who we are,’ but it cannot possibly be ‘all there is’ to this reality, not at all.

Real self-empowerment begins when we consider the ability to create a world that’s best for all – this has nothing to do with becoming ‘more’ than or ‘better’ or ‘supreme beings’ – No, it is simply establishing the way that things should have always been in this reality, it is a matter of aligning with the principles of life, the life that has been absolutely disregarded while getting ourselves lost in the ideas of being/becoming nothing more than some type of super hero that runs on batteries, eventually having to step down from the cloud to face the actual process of creating a world that is best for all.

Let’s stop being prisoners of our mind and start learning how we can direct ourselves to finally live, for real and not just think about it.

‎”Gratitude when half the world starve is not based on love or oneness or light, It has its roots in survival. To feel love and gratitude in spite of the evidence of suffering in this world confirms that good feelings are also demonic possessions and purely the result of trained methods with which to turn a blind eye to actual truth as reality. All masters and Gurus should be seen for what they are, send to deceive and distract you from being the dominion on earth that produce a reality that is best for all. What excuse are you going to have for not attending to the suffering when you are able to?”-Bernard Poolman

Learn more about the very basic steps to start supporting yourself in this process of Self Honesty, correcting ourselves to eventually live.


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