Tag Archives: power play

August 30, 2017

601. Power Plays in Social Contexts – Back To Self

By Marlen

Or how I became part of a ‘power play’ in a group of people with body language, what I discovered about myself and what I learned from this experience.

Following up with the previous topic on arrogance, I mentioned another situation that I didn’t get to write out where I noticed such form of arrogance or superiority within me in a particular social context.

I was talking with a few people the other day in a reunion and suddenly a ‘new person’ that I’ll call ‘A’ came into the moment and stood around where we were talking, like joining herself into the ‘circle’ and something quite interesting happened. She wasn’t introduced or anything, she just said hi and stood there. The rest of us were ‘into’ a certain topic already so I noticed that I was kind of ‘side-viewing’ this new person that I didn’t know of before, so entirely ‘new’ within that context but! I also started registering (as in becoming aware of/assessing) her body language which I interpreted as showing lack of confidence, being insecure, feeling inferior, somewhat nervous, feeling uncomfortable in the moment.

Now these are mere assumptions based on how I saw that she was kind of hesitating to look at either way, she was grabbing her neck and looking at us in a certain way that I could interpret as ‘feeling out of place’ in general, which I didn’t even think of in that moment in my mind. What follows is how I reacted/acted out based on all of these ‘insta-interpretations’ of person A, which is how I made that conclusion that she was feeling out of place, uncomfortable, insecure, feeling ‘inferior’ etc.

Here looking back at the situation, what I am not at all considering is how it is quite ‘common’ for most people to go through that initial experience when being introduced to new people or a new situation, it’s not like everyone feels ‘immediately comfortable and at home’ in any new environment or with new people – that’s a simple fact of how we current live our lives. Sure with time and in this process it becomes ‘easier’ to face such kind of contexts, but I’d be full of myself if I would not admit that I also go through this kind of immediate moments of getting somewhere new, with new people, new ‘things’ to interact with and can go into an experience of ‘not being at the level’ of everyone else there, which one kind of goes working through as moments go by and we make a decision to settle in or integrate ourselves to the moment/situation, but that initial reaction to ‘the new’ as in new people, new situation, new environment is quite common and I definitely have to remind myself of ‘been there, done that’ and understanding the experience, reminding myself of my process, which is an act of humbleness – now, why do I say this?

Because I noticed how as I was ‘assessing’ this new person, for an instant in my body language and how I experienced myself was within a decision to ‘ignore’ her, to kind of go into the opposite experience to what I perceived/believed her to be experiencing, so in a way playing out the polarity of what I perceived her to be. Therefore I became more ‘secure, confident, at ease, superior, dominant’ in my expression in that moment, which translated into not really making an effort to open up with her in those few minutes that this play out lasted.

However within this process of self-awareness, I had to be honest with myself and noticed what I was doing in that moment towards her, and that’s when I thought ‘Why am I deciding to ignore her?’ and so immediately directed myself to ask her about what she does and how old she was and then it turns out she immediately opened up and got more comfortable after we started talking directly to her, and she expressed how she’s seen me around and was in fact quite an open and comfortable person right after that, lol! I had to eat my perceptions and initial reactions to the person out, because she became quite ‘relaxed’ in her expression and giving details of her work and stuff like that. It was altogether possibly a 10 minute interaction, which became a cool moment overall for me to assess why on Earth had I decided to Ignore her in those first few moments and play out this ‘superiority’ stance of ‘I ignore you, because you are feeling ‘uncomfortable’ within yourself…’

Of course here I take full responsibility because I have no way to really in fact say ‘Yes! She was feeling awkward and inferior and insecure at first’ – it was all my interpretation and perception. And even if she had felt in fact that way, I can move to UNDERSTAND the person’s experience, which comes within a humbleness of considering all people in the moment equally, consider them as in placing myself in their shoes to realize ‘Hey, they are new into the moment, let’s integrate them into what we’re talking right now’.

The word as the solution that came up within me this morning as I was looking at this point, which I’ve been assessing over these last days in fact, is Equilibrium. Wherein in that moment of the conversation I was being suddenly too ‘unilateral’ to only talk to the people that I was already having an ‘oiled’ conversation with and that I’ve generally become quite comfortable to talk to, and how the dynamics changed within me when this new person came into the scene and how that immediate reaction at a physical level was that of seeing her as a ‘foreigner’ so to speak, as ‘not belonging’ to the circle of people in that moment, just because of being unknown to me, just because no one else came to ‘introduce her’ to us, but she just arrived and said hi.

What would be the common sensical thing to do in such situations? Say hi and in doing so already ‘making space’ in the moment to ‘open up’ an include the person in the conversation, can say something like ‘we’re discussing this/that, have you had anything like that happening to you?’ – or maybe if that’s too ‘soon’ to get ‘too intimate’ lol, I can pause the conversation I was into for a moment and rather proceed to ask a few questions to get to know a bit more about the new person, make a space for her literally and communicatively speaking, because I realize that if I place myself in her shoes – which is the point of understanding her and her position – I would also like to be welcomed into such moments and be integrated by those that were already there and ‘established’ in the situation.

In fact as I write this, I remember feeling exactly like I perceived this girl to be ‘feeling’ in such situation, memory is quite old, over 10 years ago where I’d be commonly going into new places/environments and people’s homes on a regular basis with a friend of mine, and I actually admired his capacity to ‘feel at ease’ in all of those new places – actually the same person I referred to in my previous blog – and how in those situations I kind of stood in the background ‘doing my thing’ like keeping quiet and mostly observing. However the people that were in such places were generally quite kind and welcoming, which made me realize that ‘people that don’t know you can be kind and open’ just by having a similar ‘linkage’ like a friend in common. And that’s then how one of the words I’ve been practicing living and that I took form this person in my life is that ability to be expressive, comfortable, ‘at home’ in all of these new environments, which at times I would ask like ‘hey how long have you known these people? And he’d replied, I just met them now for the first time! And I could not believe my eyes, because he was generally quite open and at ease with them, to which people responded with equal comfort in their expression, that was quite something that started debunking my very ingrained ‘elitism’ I’ve grown up with at home, and I’m glad that I continue debunking the moments where this same very old pattern rears its head.

So that gives me another clue to see how I could recognize her experience based on what I have in fact lived in the past as well, and how I played out ‘the opposite’ in a way to deny my own discomfort, lack of confidence or inferiority that I sure have experienced in social contexts like that before in my life, and probably around her same age, so it is a point of arrogance really to pretend that ‘I’m always been this confident, this sure of myself’ because I’ve definitely not, and moments like these are here to remind me to not get ‘too high in my arrogant horse’ but be humble, understanding and grounded towards myself and others equally.

I have been looking also at the responsibility that we hold to each other to truly ‘do as we would like to receive’ and in that, it’s kind of astounding how it took me a few minutes to actually step out of my ‘high horse’ of ‘I am ignoring you because you seem so unsure of yourself.’ This pattern is something I’ll be looking at to see how I can in fact be so unsupportive towards another that is clearly ‘new’ to the situation and could rather use some support to be integrated, to do what I can to make them feel welcomed into the situation. That’s just basics of what I consider is what I’d like others to do for me in the same situation, without doing so from the starting point of judging her as ‘oh she’s looking so out of place, so insecure, gotta make her feel like at home!’ because then that would be playing out a polarity and that’s not the point either.

It’s basic stuff to live and act on the decision to include or integrate the other new person in the situation and in that also assist myself to stop these very embarrassing to admit type of patterns of essentially playing the ‘mean girl’ that excludes someone just because ‘they are new’ or ‘I don’t know them.’ I mean, this is how we limit ourselves in our minds so extensively, where we create our own comfort zones where we dislike having anyone/anything ‘disrupting’ – apparently – a moment with people that one has already created a comfortable expression with.

Though, I see how I have played out this same pattern in various contexts before, even with just another couple of people – meaning 3 in total as a social context – where I had become quite inconsiderate to others clearly showing that they were having a hard time about something, which is not cool at all. And this is part of applying the equality equation, not creating ‘preferences’ over people – which in my case is preferring to be with those that are open, assertive, showing confidence, enjoyment, comfort etc. – but to be the one that integrates everyone as part of my moment and my attention in the moment as it is doable and realistic to do, like in this kind of small reunions and having new people arrive and integrate them – was definitely doable and so I did.

To me it also speaks a lot of the ‘trigger’ point for me which is seeing someone that I perceive initially to be inferior and insecure – because a few moments later on another guy joined in for a moment and his attitude was completely different, very ‘open’ and kind of busy doing his own thing so to speak – and here I’m only comparing objectively my reaction to that person B as the man/guy that came into the conversation for a moment – I didn’t have such reaction at all, but rather crated an interest in knowing who he was and what he did etc. Maybe it also had to do with him being introduced to us with more words, but even so, I consider that my initial reaction had to do with how I ‘read’ the person as being more secure, more ‘socially oiled’ so to speak, lol.

So here as much as I’ve laid out a common sensical way to understand people in such contexts and even if I perceive another facing the usual reactions that can be triggered when being in a new environment, I can take responsibility = take part in it and start talking to the person, that’s the easiest way to integrate myself to them and them to the moment, to become part of the conversation – because that’s what I now remember assisted me greatly when being also a young girl hanging out with ‘older guys’ which we were in this context and person A was a relatively younger one.

As for my own pattern of going into superiority or a deliberate ‘ignoring’ of those that I perceive are having a hard time with themselves – specifically within the context of perceiving them as inferior or unsure of themselves – I have to deliberately step out of my superiority stance and comparison which exists in the form of ‘I am better than you because I feel comfortable and confident within me and I can see you’re not, so I ignore you’ –  yikes. I know this can be shocking for some, it has been for myself to realize it exists within me, but as with anything: reacting in judging myself for my own ‘body language’ and this type of ‘invisible communication’ being ingrained in how I behave, speak with others is definitely not the way to sort things out.

In this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to in moments where I’ve noticed other people having a hard time integrating, adjusting to a certain social context or conversation, and I go into the assumption that ‘they are feeling less than, insecure or even ‘intimidated’ by me or others in that moment’, I have to stop, breathe to bring myself back to considering the person, to realizing that If I am aware of what they might possibly be going through. And so the way to break the assumptions and the ‘spell’ of this ‘tension’ that such situation creates within me and maybe even for others too, is by breaking the ice and talking to the person, to see what they are all about and get to hear their words, what they have to say – instead of going into assumptions, comparisons and power plays within such situations.

Here I realize that I have a responsibility to myself and others if I am in such a moment witnessing a situation where I can make a difference, such as I eventually did with opening the conversation directly to her and getting off of my high horse or arrogant stance and rather get to actually enjoy seeing her expression, really.

I am glad I moved into the correction after all, but to me those moments where I allowed myself to go into this ‘superiority’ is the point for me to become extra-careful of and aware of, because there were not even ‘thoughts’ as backchat towards the person, it was simply a body-language assessment I made of a few seconds that led me to then determine that I had to ‘over-play’ my expression  of comfort, confidence in front of her, it’s like a power game of sorts that develops in this kind of social interactions to kind of ‘show myself off’ to the person which in fact can only exist if I am still existing as any point of ‘fear of feeling the same way that I perceive the other person to be experiencing themselves as’ which means, fear of feeling out of place, inferior or insecure, which is the only way I can make sense of why I ‘emphasized’ myself in such way the moment I noticed this other girl’s initial attitude.

And as I said before, it was merely an initial reaction because the rest that unfolded debunked my initial perceptions around her, though I do ponder what if I had decided to ignore her completely all the time and not having given me the opportunity to get to know her? I would have then prevented me from meeting a new person, and that’s it, which is something I’ve come to really enjoy doing.

So the learning point of this story is to not allow myself to act based on this pretty fucked up ‘instincts’ that play out with body language, as actions or inactions, based on what I am assuming a person is like or how they ‘look like’ or how I am instantaneously judging them. I cannot continue existing in such prejudices, because in the end, not only would I become an ‘elitist person’ in my own parameters, but I’d also be preventing me from expanding to truly do onto others as I’d like others to do onto me, which in this case is applying and living the equilibrium, that equal consideration of everyone that is participating in a moment, because that’s the principles I am learning to live by and how I’d like the world to see everyone else!

It brought me up to seeing how at a world level this plays out for example with immigrants that arrive in Europe and how they are of course fearful, feeling insecure, helpless, sometimes coming with extensive traumatic experiences to get to where they are – yet  many receive them with superiority actions like ignoring them, seeing them as ‘less than humans,’ deliberately attacking them at times, playing out all forms of rejection which is of course only worsening things overall not only for that context, but for everyone else in this world that learns from those ways of ‘treating foreigners’ – and I realized that I was about to play out my own part in that same construct with a ‘new person’ in a social context… definitely not acceptable and not cool overall to do.

I’ll continue to dissect my experience and role within it all as there are ingrained patterns that need to eat some huge pieces of humble pie, which I’m going to be cooking in the next few days J lol

 

Thanks for reading

 

 Silent Interplays

 

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February 24, 2013

310. The Illusion of Power – Self Forgiveness

By Marlen
   “The world is in reverse means that when you do good, bad happens and when you do bad, good happens. Therefore the humans willing to do bad things in self interest are rich with all the power  and the humans willing to do good things for the betterment of others are poor with no power. No correction of this ever takes place as is shown through history. Those in power even rewrite history to fit their version of the mirror of reality. Thus – to bring about change, make sure you do not get trapped in the inaction of hope and faith, as that is the way of the good and will bring only bad. Those that act on the nature of the physical reality do so to control it for their own self interest and the evidence is in every facet of this world system as it exist.” – Bernard Poolman

 

Continuing from:

 

Problem                                                                       

“Self Forgiveness is the action with which you take self responsibility for creation and empower yourself to change it to what is best for all life.” – Bernard Poolman

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use and become the word ‘power’ as the ability to affect, control and influence people’s behavior and self-experience which implies a definitive violation of the equality principle which implies no harm and no abuse toward self and others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to legitimate the ability to abuse others through the word ‘power’ wherein such power is held by authorities that I’ve voted for, that I have accepted as  ‘the way the power structure works’ at a system level, without questioning why such imposition of power has been more detrimental than supportive to in fact implement living conditions that are best for all, but instead have used such position to abuse, harm, extort and benefit from the money, the real power that is of the people and that should have always been by the people.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my self responsibility by voting for a certain ‘power’ to take the executive and legislative powers in our society, wherein I then accepted to become ‘less than’ people in power and begun fearing ‘the power’ that I endowed them with, which makes so sense however, this is currently the power that is being feared in order to generate a new political and economical system wherein power can be equally distributed.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever judge the word ‘Power’ as evil and unjust, without realizing that I am the only one that has created such meaning by virtue of giving my own power away to a few people in politics in order to decide for me, which is the system that we have created as a way to abdicate our direct responsibility toward every single aspect of our reality that we should have always been determined to be responsible for, therefore

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to consider the word Power as abusive just because I have always delegated my own power to ‘authorities’ instead of learning how to become such authority myself and empower myself as an equal participant within this current system.

 

I realize that I have only judged the word based on  the meaning that we have collectively created of it as an authority to control the majority, without realizing that we have all collectively agreed to create such governmental/ authoritarian entities as a result of our inability to govern ourselves effectively.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the word ‘Power’ as the experience of control, domination and ability to abuse without having to respond/ be responsible for it, but use the same power to protect myself against the laws that supposedly stand as a protection and guarantee of people’s rights, however, I realize that this is not functioning in such a way because power is currently a synonym of money, and money buys laws and policies to benefit those that have the power to perpetuate it, which implies that by me accepting Money as the Power to Abuse, I accept the current economic system as the disparity that it is and has become.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to recognize structures of power as ‘legal’ and as ‘normal,’ wherein I have conditioned myself to always have someone ‘above’ myself as an authority and see others as inferior in the social-stratification based on the amount of money we have, the type of ‘duties’ we have wherein we don’t consider each other as equals but have become used to define ourselves according to our ‘power of acquisition’ and ‘political power’ in society.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept the hierarchy of society and the division of powers as legitimate just because it has ‘always been this way,’ and in this accepting monarchs, royals, presidents,  wealthy people as a ‘normal living standard’ the same as poor people, homeless people, outlaws and criminals which are the direct result of this same structure of power, wherein the hierarchical level implies the ability to abuse those ‘below’ you.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the use of a word as ‘Power’ as a legitimate action to perpetuate control over others, to have the ability to do onto others something against their will and use this structure of power as away to impose it. I realize that the nature of power resides within the human mind that seeks to control, dominate and create the experience of ‘empowerment’ through exerting this form of control toward others.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept the experience of ‘empowerment’ as addictive, wherein the ability to have more than others and have power over others has become a ‘way of living’ wherein experience dictates the actions and decisions, instead of considering at all times the equal and one physicality that we all are, wherein power is only a mind experience that is abusive in nature and as an energetic experience, it is a definitive form of abuse not only toward myself but toward others.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to constrain, invalidate and violate another’s rights to live in dignity and with sufficient support through the acceptance and allowance of Power Structure wherein money as the representation of ‘power of acquisition’ is not readily given to every being equally, where by me accepting money as power is accepting it to be above others, which places them in a position of need and scarcity which is the used as a way to coerce them  to  obtain such power through slave labor by deliberately limiting their ability to have equal access to what they require to eat and live, which means that Money as the entity of power has been accepted by all of us as a ‘natural selection’ type of weapon wherein we justify with all types of excuses and speeches the existence of poverty and criminals in society, without ever questioning ourselves why such people weren’t equally supported to begin with, which is the direct result of accepting our current power structure as a political regulation.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed power to be an apparent ‘complex social setting’ wherein this social apparatus determines the lives of the population based on decisions that are currently influenced by money as an ends in itself and not a means to provide and support all people equally. I realize that the struggle between people is determined by these power structures that we have all legitimated by accepting money as real, by accepting our government as legal and as such we have complied to all forms of abuse that we have endowed money with as a power to influence, control, and get from others what we want, because we have made of money the condition to be able to live.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to squander my ability to influence life in a supportive manner, wherein I simply then abdicated my responsibility to a power system wherein my own interests were violated, without realizing how I created and propitiated such violation by me first not being able to be self responsible as an individual human being as part of society, because of always having only looked after my individual interests.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to use power as a means to defend myself, to guard my self interest and justify it with free will and free choice, which is nothing else but the ability to abuse something or someone for my own benefit and enjoyment. I realize that power in itself is an energetic experience of the mind that can be addictive, getting to the point of being ‘infatuated with power’ wherein the greedy seek more money, the powerful seek to control further and the tyrant buy more weapons.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in ‘power plays’ in my living reality by the perception of myself having more power or less power than others, I recognize that power exists as myself, as a  physical being of flesh and bones as life that is able to be self directed and never again controlled by others by me abdicating my right to life ever again.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that power is an imposition of the mind upon the physical, which means that it can’t be lived within its current definition of  imposition and control over others, it can only exist as an equal and one recognition of each other’s power as a living organism within this ecosystem.

 

More on Power:

 

 

Solution                                                                      

“The question now would be: why are  you not unconditionally forgiving yourself for what you have allowed as your life and the life of all to empower you to stand no matter what till there is no past for any being in existence”     – Bernard Poolman 

  I commit myself to redefine power as the Breath of Life which means I recognize the physical a the one and only power, as life wherein through recognizing this power as myself, as life, I then focus on enabling each other’s life in equality, which means creating a system wherein the physical lives of human beings is able to be supported and assisted the same way that we are unconditionally assisted by our physical body to exist in every breath.

 

I commit myself to establish the Equal distribution of power as life wherein money can stand as the right to be supported and as a responsibility in itself to be made sustainable by our own work and participation.

 

I commit myself to educate myself and others in order to understand how unless we stand as an example of what a living human being in Equality lives like, we are not worthy of life and not trustworthy with it either, because as long as self interest exists, power as a form of abuse exists. Thus it is our responsibility to ensure that all parents are educated to be a living example that can support and assist life as their children to come. This is the new foundation of society on Earth.

 

I commit myself to point out the abuse of power by recognizing it within myself first, Self Forgiving it and then generating the necessary alignments and corrections to redirect such abuse toward self-supportive means that benefit the majority.

 

I commit myself to reinstate the actual power of of the people by me recognizing the equal and one power that I exist as by virtue of existing as a physical body along with all bodies of existence in Equality, wherein the real Democracy is not a flimsy vote for fixed options, but an actual recognition of each other’s rights and responsibilities which is the key to dissolve the current Power structure that we have all subjugated ourselves to.

 

I commit myself to not allow myself to deem another as more or less than myself, as I realize that this single perception is what perpetuates the current power-structure in our reality.

 

I commit myself to redefine and live Power as the ability to direct ourselves as self-responsible beings that consider at all times what’s best for all, wherein our power is summed as 1+1 as equals, wherein never again another can deny or ignore another’s right to live in a dignify manner, nor will anyone will be able to abuse another in means of power since there will be no structure that recognizes such hierarchical levels ever again in our reality.

 

I commit myself to treat the delusion of power as a mental disease that causes most of the current problems in our social, political and economic system wherein people that are addicted to power cannot see the common sense of supporting all bodies of existence in Equality, thus it is a clear mental problem that must be treated in the individual before any reinsertion in society takes place.

 

Further support:

 

Rewards                                 

Recognizing each other’s power in Equality will result in a society that does not ever require a government to be imposing a minority’s self interest since we will know and understand how to consider and care for each other as equals. This will give way to an actual Power of the People that won’t require a sovereign to remind ourselves that life is the only real power in existence.

“The physical exist without ego and self interest in its form as substance. Mind power is Ego Power. Love can only exist as real in a reality of actual consequence that test the love in space time to show whether it produce practically what is best for all.”
 
“Free choice, you will see in Self Honest Self Reflection, is always ego that is spiteful and deliberate in self interest and that manipulates with power play in spite of knowing what is best for all to purely sabotage anything that may threaten the ego. Whenever someone defends their point of view with free choice: know that it is just ego. Benevolent, strong people will always choose what is best for all”  – Bernard Poolman “

 

Further support:

  • 237. Living IntelliSense as Life in Equality

For further reference, read  the Equal Money Wiki

 

Print(Adaptation and appropriation of original artwork by unknown source) 

 

Blogs:

 

Watch:

 

Vlog:

2012 The Power of Equality – Equal Money System –
2012 We Have the Power to Decide: Equal Money System –

 

Interviews:

 

 

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