Tag Archives: process

450. Is it about Others or is it about ME?

Today there was a great point opened up in a group discussion about how easily we give up on ‘others’ which in fact means we give up on ourselves. This reminded me essentially of every single relationship I’ve had with people that are of more intimate and personal nature. It reminded me of how easy it is to keep that backdoor as ‘opt-out’-mode whenever any relationship becomes challenging, it is then when I can look at myself becoming very uncomfortable in those relationships/situations with people, starting to find flaws every time and in a way becoming paranoid wherein every single thing they said or did, I started to ‘frame’ it within this same belief and idea of ‘there being something wrong with them, very very wrong!’ and interestingly enough, I never, ever questioned myself as in seeing:

‘Who am I within this experience I have towards OTHERS in my life? Is it only my experience and so my creation that I am projecting as these emotions of discomfort, of disgust, of ‘unpleasant’ times that I actually am having within myself and imposing onto ‘them’ Where am I not focusing more on dealing with my inner experiences instead of focusing on others and calling them the ‘reason of my experience’?

Nope, I never asked myself these questions because I’ve realized how our default ‘status’ in our minds is that of believing that we are ‘always right’ and ‘always the ones that are ‘objective’ in the situation’ – lol, I can laugh at myself now because that’s exactly what I have been/become throughout my entire life, always considering that I had some kind of ‘special view’ that was more objective than others, and so if I saw anything ‘out of place’ in another, then it would be so… which is of course the ego speaking for us in which we trap ourselves looking ‘outwardly’ instead of inwards.

But as it was shared in this awesome group discussion, the only way to know if what we see is really an observation about another, is to Drop all Charges – to drop the energetic experience toward another and take responsibility for it – to then be able to first work with one’s own reaction as an experience of say ‘discomfort’ towards another and realize: it’s our creation and I have to take responsibility for it; and once that one is absolutely and totally clear, nothing moving energetically towards ‘another’ then I can focus in re-assessing if I still see this point in a situation or in another as I did when I was possessed/controlled/dominated by an emotional reaction within me.

Man, these are the moments where yes in a way ‘I wish I knew this before’ back in the day in my life, but as with anything, to convert Regret into a gift that we can give to ourselves in our lives from today.

Please watch this video for support from Sunette discussing on this one: Regret – Remembering the Great https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6VbGWxbMoo  

Also this great other one about Conflict

A Conflictual Relationship with Conflict – YouTube

 

I remember exactly how some 10 years ago I would write ‘my thoughts’ on a diary, but mostly all of the words there were used to justify my experience, to build up on my paranoia about ‘why everything is so wrong with another person’ and never did I ever open up or even consider how ‘Hmm! Maybe I am the creator of that experience within myself!’ Never happened, and that very much shows the ‘real nature’ or ingrained status-quo of who we are in our minds, where we are always quick to judge, point fingers, blame – blame, blame, blame – others for whatever we are experiencing within ourselves.

Here, if there’s one point that I see is of utmost necessity that all of us human beings look at is the word Blame, really. There is nothing else that I’ve seen ingrained as fuck – sorry for the word but that is so – as ‘stuck’ in our minds as this desire to always look ‘outside’ of ourselves for the source of our experiences, instead of first asking ourselves ok why am I ‘B-Laming /(being Lame’ towards others? Why not first looking within myself, focusing on myself and my experience TOWARDS that person?  Actually today I was talking with someone about the word ‘inward’ and this can be a key word to remind ourselves of looking first and foremost at the inner-ward we are keeping ourselves in our inner-wars of experiences that we believe another is capable of causing within ourselves…. When in fact, time and time again, it seems we have to remind ourselves that this is not able to happen in fact, we can only do it to ourselves. And that’s the necessary bucket of cold water that we all need to wake up whenever we see we are having this ‘person in our heads’ and making of them our human-piñatas, the punching bag that we can kick and blame for how we experience ourselves, which is in fact a deplorable aspect of our humanity and it’s got to change, and I cannot change anyone else but myself.

So, back to the point of giving up on others in my life. I can honestly also see where it is that I did ‘all that was possible’ with some and how I gave up too easily and too quickly on others, very prematurely I’d say. And now it is not for me to judge myself for that either, but to rather see from now on and recognize these moments of going into a form of desperation really, where apparently I cannot ‘keep going with’ or think that ‘something is not working’ or believing that ‘I’ve done all I can.’ I now know I have to make sure I am not reacting about it, because if I am, what do I know? I am in fact justifying and magnifying my vilifying towards OTHERS when in fact, I have some real shit to deal with within myself first of all.

So far I cannot say I have done this successfully with most people, but have managed with a very few and it is precisely the points where I learned to understand another in their very context, situation, mind, getting to really know them to understand ‘why they are what they are’ and that has been very, very supportive for me to learn what it means to consider another in themselves, in the totality of themselves. I have shared before how this has been the case with my current partner and in the very beginning of getting to know him, there were several times I just saw ‘no point’ or a ‘lost cause’ in certain situations, but the interesting thing is that he would be very stable and just being ‘himself’ in those moments, lol, whereas I would at times break down in tears and expectations of ‘being treated differently’ or expecting some ‘evident changes’ in what? A matter of weeks or few months of talking/getting to know ourselves? Which also proves how I was coming more from the perspective of wanting to ‘change’ another, instead of actually first getting to know and understand another and being unconditional in the sense of not expecting ‘anything in return’ other than the mutual communication and support this can mean for both or more people involved.

So I can definitely relate on how if there is an experience of ‘giving up’ on another and seeing it almost as a struggle, then, hello! The problem is not ‘them’ but ourselves, who we are towards them, what are our fears, expectations, desires, wants, needs that are not being ‘fulfilled’ by another? Or what is it that we ‘wanted them to be’ that we just can’t get ‘from them’ and so in fact become unsatisfied and so bring up the ‘ending the relationship’ card any moment that one faces these challenges that don’t really define the other, but it defines everything about oneself/myself.

What I’ve learned thus throughout this relationship is to see what it means to let go of ‘my desire to change another’ and instead only be an example, be a point of support but at the same time getting to know myself in a relationship where yes I speak up whenever it is required and when I notice patterns that we have talked about time and time again, yet I don’t create a reaction around it – here, it’s not been as easy to get to this point as I am able to share it now – it is a moment to moment process, where I have to remind myself to not get possessed when not seeing my ‘expectations met’ and to not be demanding and controlling of another, but to rather stand as an example, if anything, for another yet at the same time not creating that condition of ‘wanting to be paid with the same amount/ways of how I’ve done onto another’ – because it’s not really about ‘another’ but about me living and expressing who I want to be as myself, as my expression, me doing as I’d like to be done onto – without expecting anything in return – and surprisingly so, this has actually created that flexibility or say ‘letting go of my constant expectations ‘towards others’, it definitely is one of those points I’d say can create an actual stability to ‘walk with another.’

Now I’ve developed ways to bring up the points and in the moment I also have had to still stop myself from several times wanting to ‘make a case against someone’ and not clearing myself first, and after I’ve cleared myself if I still see the relevance of opening up a point/subject, I do so, but what I’ve noticed is that it is no longer this ‘running around in circles’ point in my head, but I speak it very directly and ‘as is’ and then I can be assertive in my stance because I’m not reacting, I’m speaking based on a clear assessment and this is then where it even becomes easier to assist another if the other person goes into a reaction, to speak about it, open it up, but best thing is to be able to ‘see it for what it is’ and so focus on practical considerations once that the ‘storm dissipates’, what each one has to do/work with or let go of and so we keep walking.

An example of what I’ve noticed is how whenever I am in a reaction and I am trying to ‘make a point’ is that I start speaking louder and almost in a ‘preachy’ mode, which indicates that I am holding a personal investment in the point, that I am bringing it up hoping to get some kind of benefit back or ‘proving myself right’ etc… which has been also cool to be pointed out about it, because it is something I know I am experiencing and that’s where I have to spot a pride situation going on where I don’t want to admit ‘Yes, I am reacting’ as that would prove we first have to deal with the things within ourselves first.

It’s weird we have assigned almost like a ‘negative charge’ to being honest about oneself still having to deal with things, instead of making these moments those self-honest treasures that we can then open up to reveal ourselves to ourselves and work with those points to correct ourselves, to align ourselves for once and for all.

If we work on that first point of being OK with admitting ‘Ok yes, I am reacting here indeed’ or ‘Ok, yes you are right, I am exalted in this point, I need to take a moment to reflect on it’ or even ‘Yes, I agree, it is true, I am reacting here, what do you see in this point?’ and so get feedback on what the other person says and then it becomes about referencing self-honesty and common sense, rather than an: I said, you said, she/he said… and it is so much better to develop a communication and interaction with others where we actually learn to ‘dig’ within ourselves and so share our perspectives and experiences, rather than continuing building up our personal paranoia ‘about others’ and not even daring to open up the point ‘as is’ with another.

So yes, this is what I’ve worked with, walked with and continue to do so in my relationship, with a person that goes at his own pace in his decision to support himself to become a better person, which means that the first dimension is there for me to also stand with in this situation, we are both individuals supporting ourselves in our individual ways to learn to see ourselves as our mind, to understand our reactions and commit to work through it. And this has actually made of the relationship a lot less challenging in those aspects than it was before. Now this doesn’t mean it’s ‘perfect’ but it is quite great for me to learn to first take a step back whenever I see myself wanting to ‘flare up’ in certain situations and dig further, ask more questions, get the full perspective and so learn to even communicate effectively!

Lol this morning I was precisely remembering how it is that there have been existential wars between races because of essentially not having effective communication, having misunderstandings and this was like a huge ‘Duh!’ I had at the time when I got to understand that, because I see how a lot of the problems we create (note, we don’t have them, we create them) are based on not understanding something, so just like I read from Sunette’s blog one day whenever we have a problem we can instead ask ourselves: what am I not understanding effectively yet? And so learn to become like these investigators ourselves of our experience, of how to ‘solve’ our problem and so be able to more effectively support/assist others to try out the same ways/techniques of self-introspection within themselves, like asking questions, asking lots of questions in the ways of getting the ‘the self interest’ point, like: what do I fear losing here? What do I desire to get? What is limiting myself? Or ‘What is it in me for doing/saying/acting on this/that point?

Here then some examples of what I’ve been actively applying, where it does take that one moment to ‘put a guard in front of my reaction-engine’ in my mind and body so that I can instead take a moment to understand better, get more information, cross-reference the points in common sense, devoid of my preferred outcome or self-interest, so in a way yes being unconditional – and so in that, learn to better understand another, their context, their mind, their experience and so make sure that whatever I experience based on what is said or done, I take responsibility for and only when I am clear, I can lay out the points not as ‘this is the problem, deal with it’ but also with the opening to create solutions, to be willing to ‘do my part’ as well in being part of the solution, and in this, very important: also letting go of the expectation that ‘the other will do their part too as I do’ – because this is about myself, who I am and what I decide to be and become, not about another.

To me, having been a very controlling and imposing person – almost a fascist at times with people, sorry about that lol  – I am now learning more about what it means to be more considerate, flexible and humble toward others and so to let go as well. And so also have to remind myself to first focus on me, to not be demanding of others something I haven’t lived/done for myself entirely. And yes, whenever I am very direct, straightforward and to the point in how I ‘walk’ with another, how I assist another, it is because I have done this for myself and it works best – though in this I also learn how to be more gentle or approach the same support in various ways depending on where the person is/at in their life, process, mind, life experience. So this has been every enjoyable for me really, also related to assisting/supporting people in this same process, it’s such a nutritional experience for a lack of a better word, and I am grateful for being in the position I am and with the responsibility it entails because it also pushes me to become a better person myself in what I do and what I’ve decided to live for the rest of my life: making of myself an example of what it means to let go of conflict and problem-based mentality, but being entirely willing to first and foremost be my own source of solutions and corrections that I can then nurture, cross-reference with others and in doing so, create also relationships of support geared to changing the nature of relationships/interrelationships which is what currently life is based on.

In terms of ‘giving up’ on someone, doesn’t define them but it entirely defines who we are, and this can only be assessed case by case, situation by situation where we can make sure we’ve done all we can possibly can do to stand up with/par on par with another, where one is not compromising oneself for the sake of ‘supporting’ another in means of ‘saving them’ because that’s quite consequential. And I am entirely looking forward for more support on these topics through the great website that has changed/expanded the reaches of ‘what is possible’ for ourselves as human beings in this world Eqafe.com, so check it out too and learn what it really means to be focused on being the change we want to see in this world.

 

Thanks for reading

 

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422. What is Happiness to me?

Is happiness only a state of mind? Is it something that lasts for a few moments only? Is it only embedded in the image of someone smiling, people jumping with their hands up in the air? is it the image of a peaceful and pristine paradise? is it a work in progress?

 

We had a two day workshop on Redefining Happiness, and what came up was an interesting and self-supportive array of points to consider within ourselves, to re-look at what one had previously defined as ‘happiness’ and so then walking those points within self-honesty,  collecting considerations and looking at practical aspects that are required within the creative and living process of happiness in a self-honest and self supportive manner. So here’s my self-investigation that culminates with the integration of realizations that came through during our group chat on this topic.

 

 

Happiness

 

Not long ago I would have defined happiness as something that is just ‘bollocks,’ an easy way to sell products, a blatant way to sugar coat self interest or else, but as with all words in our reality, due to the resistance that I had to even look at it, I decided it was rather best to start redefining words and walking a collective process to align our definitions to a common sensical outcome and creation. So, I’ll start here by disclosing my past-relationship with the word happiness.

What I had defined as happiness had to do with what I had learned I should ‘aim to live’ in my life, that ultimate goal that would make me absolutely blissful, content and fulfilled with myself. I definitely had trouble at times pondering what this could be because I could feel ‘happy’ for example before and while I would go to a music concert from my favorite bands when I was a teenager; as a pre-teen I could feel ‘happy’ after having binged in rollercoaster rides, and maybe happy as the experience I had when I first flew in an airplane when I was some 6 years old, also skating, jumping in an elastic bed or swimming were part of my happiness during childhood. Later on I started defining happiness according to being with certain people and in certain relationships, which has also to do with the ‘grown-up’ idea of ‘being happy when having relationships’ for example as a common goal in life.

Also, my idea of happiness was linked to ‘who I wanted to be’ as an artist for example, or a writer at times. I would picture myself being alone and living in some big city and being famous/recognized, earning good money and so being able to travel around the world and having the kind of ‘bohemian’ type of life where I would not have to worry about money and I would only have to pursue my personal satisfaction of fame and glory, lol. I thought that happiness was precisely getting to travel the world, showing my art in such places and having nice dinners with famous people or something, to be ‘in that circle’ of intellectuals and artists and so forth. Fascinatingly enough – and glad about it as well – I got to have a bit of a taste of this last early on as I was ‘sharpening my knife’ to be part of the art world and got to travel to another country and exhibit my photographs and hang around people that everyone would recognize on the streets. So I ‘luckily’ got to see what kind of agenda/day to day living they have, what is it like to be a genuine public figure, what happens to your ‘private life’ and family etc. It was very interesting that my whole expectation of happiness slowly but surely fell down the drain, because I could not feel happy about doing what I thought was going to make me happy, and so with that came what I call a ‘breakdown’ wherein I felt very lost/sad/depressed for a couple of months after having done that trip/exhibit, because I did not know if I wanted to ‘be an artist’ anymore or if that was genuinely ‘my idea of happiness’ any longer.

 

Right away after that, I started seeking other ‘spiritual’ ways to fulfill this longing for an apparent ‘happiness’ without getting anywhere really, mostly aiming at ‘helping others’ without having the least intention to first focus on supporting me. I kind of knew in the back of my head that it wasn’t ‘it’ and that it wasn’t going to work for real either. So, after this one trip I had, which was almost/exactly 7 years ago, I spent months really looking at whether these ideas I had built around happiness were in fact MY idea of happiness, and it was only 3 months after that when I discovered Desteni and so my perception of everything I had ever desired, wanted or deemed myself to ‘be’ changed almost completely. This is where I started to ponder my previous ideas around happiness as ‘the goal in life’ and got to understand happiness mostly as an energetic experience that one gets as the result of some input, like for example when taking drugs and getting ‘high’ and ‘feeling good’ and associating that with happiness – that type of experience, which is all a mind job of course.

I saw that my idea of happiness had to go through a process of purification if I can call it that, I realize that I had only aimed at benefitting me in pursuing MY dreams and in that, I was in fact forgetting and not considering everything and everyone in that equation.  Once that I had a bit of the taste of the ‘personal happiness’ or what I had defined as such, I realized that it actually made me feel emptier and more depressed than ever, because I saw it as meaningless = not doing something that I was yearning to do as in creating a ‘greater change’ or ‘saving the world’ out there.

So, it has only been through walking this process of self-support and self change and having the ability to self-forgive all past ideas, perspectives, illusions and desires for energetic experiences that I have been able to now trust myself in the ability to redefine the word ‘happiness’ so that it doesn’t become this fleeting and flimsy experience in my mind and body, something that ‘comes and goes’ but becomes an actual living word not only for ‘me’ but for everyone as well.

 

‘All I want in life is to be happy’ is a common goal in our lives, but this also means that we have been defining happiness with as many different meanings as there are minds in this world, some common aspects are linked like money, good relationships, good sex life, being the best at something, having good health and such, but do we ponder then why have these become desires instead of ways in which one actually lives the construction of such happiness? Why have we made of happiness an ideal, an ever elusive ‘goal’ in itself instead of practically assessing: what do I require to do to build a general stability in my life, a personal and collective wellbeing, a point of financial stability, what can I do to develop supportive relationships? How can I nurture myself in a way that is beneficial for my body? How can I stop worrying about this/that situation in my life? How can I change the world system so that it benefits all instead of preventing ourselves to live our fullest potential? How can I develop my expression and support myself and others with it?

 

See, happiness usually comes with a desire to ‘have no worries’ or be completely devoid of responsibility, without realizing that if one simply places oneself swimming forever in a beach at the Caribbean and do nothing about oneself or ‘the world,’ man, one could end as the richest yet most disgraceful person in the world – why? Because happiness is definitely something that entails us LIVING in a full manner in this world – and within this, what does it mean to live fully? To be a point, a person that lives and creates one’s personal well-being while at the same time contributing to the collective well being.

The problem that we have at the moment is that our general ideas of happiness have become very varied, very personal, even linked with products to buy or so – how can that be? This is why here we propose looking at happiness as the ways in which we can practically empower ourselves and each other to fully live in this world.

Within the documentary called Happy, many definitions and ways to live happiness are shared, and it’s interesting to see of course, to have a look at how personalized this idea of happiness has become whereas in other cultures/parts of the world, the idea of happiness is embedded within a collective wellbeing. There they define 2 aspects of happiness the intrinsic and extrinsic aspects, which I will share here now as parts that I have come to realize within walking this process.

 

We got the intrinsic aspects which have to do with

– Personal growth: which is precisely what I have seen is and has been absolutely life changing from 7 years ago, to walk this process of self-support, to develop self-honesty, to develop common sense which is the consideration of what’s best for all; to realize that I can change myself, that I have the tools, that I can trust myself in being able to walk through any point in my life to get to a point of stability within and without. This is definitely essential as an overall self-process that I can attest here is a genuine source of wellbeing, because one is also no longer defined by emotions or feelings to define myself, so I rather focus on supporting me, my mind, my body to live in a general stability.

– Close Relationships and the feeling of living in community: developing relationships with people even if they are not in your immediate environment, but relationships where self-support is the starting point is within my life and experience one of the most gratifying things, to be able to support me and support others, and work with people that are equally walking a process of taking responsibility for themselves, living day by day within the commitment of supporting and changing themselves to within that, also change the world is one of the most satisfying things as well. It would have been very tough to do this process of personal support alone, maybe impossible – so I definitely recognize the power of walking with a group of people – physically or non-physically around – to support oneself in this process of self-change and self-support. These relationships go beyond a ‘friendship’ or a feeling, they are genuine bonds of co-creation that will surely be long lasting.

 

The Extrinsic goals:

– Money is something that is definitely needed to create a financial stability for oneself. It is definitely something to question if a poor person claims to be absolutely happy, how can that be if happiness is about living up to our utmost potential? That means then requiring at this moment in this world money to be able to obtain the necessary resources on this. So, this is a genuine point that one does require to be ‘happy’ at this stage, to have a dignified living – which is definitely different from only desiring money as an ultimate goal – nope, money is a means to create such support and to nurture/sustain ourselves properly, but ultimately, greed is of course also a point to debunk within self-honesty, because no amount of money can create ‘wealth’ in itself if we weren’t living in our awareness of the interdependence we hold to each other individual and part of this reality.

 

– They claim that Image, personality and status or popularity is something that also gives happiness. I question this as a sense of ‘ego’ creation, though in a redefined manner, this can comes by default when one works on oneself and one starts focusing one’s life to support oneself and so be an active agent of change in the world. One’s words, thoughts, deeds start speaking for themselves and so this ‘recognition’ is not then a popularity game of sorts one participates in, I’d rather place it as the ability and potential we all have to stand as an example of what is possible to live and become when establishing living principles of what’s best for all in our lives.  This is then a point where one can simply recognize and acknowledge one’s living day to day actions and see the benefit of them for what they create as a consequence, and develop a sense of honor to oneself and all life around us which is definitely what I can also link to a sense of happiness, of fulfillment, of genuine stability and way to prosperity.

 

There was also a point wherein I simply denied all happiness to exist, and yes just as love defined as a slight or overwhelming churning of energies within ourselves, as an energy experience it is definitely not something that I could ‘forever experience,’ because it’s only momentary which indicates: it’s a mind job. Thus happiness had to become a word that I can mostly live through the consideration of how can I build, create this point of self-support, self-stability in my life and reality, how can I cooperate and co-work with others in order to create a change in this world. So, what’s interesting here is that me desiring to ‘change the world’ would have been also a point I would link to happiness, but little did I know that if I had only sought to ‘change the word out there’ I would have missed first my personal point of self-responsibility: changing myself, first supporting myself.

So I do say here that happiness as a word to live by does imply first self-responsibility: taking care of ourselves, ensuring one has sufficient money to live in dignity, where one has the ability and continues to improve one’s life, to challenge ourselves further, to develop ourselves to our utmost potential, to live by the law of placing the extra effort to get things done in a way wherein I can genuinely say ‘this is my creation, this is my expression and I am satisfied with it.’ Within this of course comes the consideration of how within me living by these principles, what I do in the ‘outside world’ will thus be the constant and continuous expression of what I live within and as me – this is thus how I have defined my ability to live happiness within giving myself, my life, my day to day a purpose which is to make of this world a place wherein we call all live actually happily, so that happiness stops being a ‘desire’ in our minds, but instead becomes a genuine and feasible practical method, a way and series of actions and steps that involve each one’s participation to co-create such happiness in reality.

This is how I see that in order to create and live happiness = the whole must be contained, everyone must be considered, because if we leave one person outside of this consideration, then that one point will make us all miserable again, because this life is about learning how to coexist as equals and so within this, I see that happiness in its FULL expression is not yet ‘here’ as the definition of all living parts in this world having a dignified and satisfying existence.  I see that happiness is a ‘work in progress’ when it comes to genuinely Living it at a global level – however, it is possible to work on creating a general stability and support for oneself to live in a responsible manner, which I’ve found to be actually a great source of satisfaction and fulfillment.

In fact, living this process of self-support with the Desteni tools is an awesome practical way to create and build this happiness for oneself, it won’t definitely make you all tingly within yourself, nor would it come with ease either, it does take actual work, dedication, discipline, consistency, self-will, determination, self-leadership and creativity to do this, but these are all aspects that are definitely worth investing one’s life and time on. Having said this, it does make sense to say that aiming to be ‘happy’ within this context and consideration, to create happiness for everyone in this world is a cool thing to aim at, because it will enable us all to create a general well-being wherein we can actively and continuously create and make of this world a system of support, of living-life instead of merely surviving or having to strive to ‘make a living,’ where our relationships become necessary pillars for us to thrive instead of obstacles to achieve personal gain and self-interest.

If happiness is a common goal in each one’s life, it’s best to then recognize it as something that can only genuinely exist if we all first place the consideration of creating this happiness, this stability, this self-support, self-care, and self-honesty within each one of us individually, so that then we become a +1 person that becomes a pillar to build this happiness in the world, no matter where you are: our lives, how we live/what we do in each moment, how we walk our day to day defines what we create collectively. So, it’s about time we stop seeking for happiness ‘out there’ and instead focus on creating it within and without.

What I can share as the practical way to do this is by walking this process of self-support, I hadn’t ever been satisfied with my life or even would dare to call myself as ‘being happy’ because I was a Grinch, so unhappy about life /the world and blaming everything and everyone for why my life wasn’t ‘working,’ instead of realizing that I do not have to ‘seek happiness’ out there, I have to actually recognize my ability to create it, to become it and to establish it/share it with others in this world. Sounds nice, yep, but it takes actual work and dedication to genuinely live it, it takes guts to also be able to let go of previous definitions of ‘happiness’ by testing it out, seeing if what one had defined as happiness is really a constant and continuous point I can live within my life that is Best for All for eternity – and there, first steps of self-honesty will emerge.

It’s surely enjoyable to take the wheel of your life, and this is precisely what we learn to do in this process, so I recommend it 100% percent.

 

I commit myself to any time and all time required to bring this world back to that which is life, regardless of what it will take and I commit myself not to allow the values the mind  as me have become to determine what is real value. Until this is done. – Bernard Poolman 

 

Living Principles

 

Suggested blog:

Day 2: Happiness and Me

 

I dare you to start questioning what happiness is for you and if you’re ready to live genuine happiness, join us here:

 

Read people recognizing their self creation abilities in the 7 Year Journey to Life blogs

The Free Desteni I Process Lite course is a first platform of self-support to learn more about ourselves, our mind and understand how we can practically improve our potentials and skills.


419. Devaluation of Self

It’s fascinating that when we operate in terms of ‘values’ and we value people according to who we perceive them to be – as their amount of studies, knowledge and information and generally known success in life, we sometimes create the notion of ‘famous people’ or people that could be generally perceived as ‘more important than’ or ‘superior’ to others that we have defined as ‘plain mortals’ so to speak. I noticed that this exists within me in the form of considering that some people who I would like to invite for discussions could be ‘too famous’ to actually want to be in a live discussion with me/us.

 

Louis Vuitton Morton

 

This came up as I was sharing with others about a particular person I would like to invite to a live online discussion and even if I know I am directing myself to propose it and actually eventually create it, I noticed a sharp pain on my right leg, quite on the surface but unusual though so I got to know from the person I was talking to how this relates to one’s foundation of support, and from some older notes, the flow of expression. So what came behind the proposal to interview this individual were also aspects of self-doubt in relation to how I have valued/perceived the person to be. So I realized how I tend to create these limitations based on how I have ‘valued’ a person according to their ‘accrued interest’ on knowledge and information and so how I see myself considering it would be ‘unreasonable’ or ‘unbelievable’ or ‘out of reach’ or ‘requiring something more than what I got’ to be able to actually approach another individual to discuss topics that we for sure have in common to discuss.  But then again, how/what has in fact placed such limitation? Myself based on the perception of these individuals being already interviewed by other media and ‘professional anchors’ so in this, I actually create my own limitation because I then look at the person not for the actual purpose of having a chat with them would be, which is a point that benefits everyone in fact, but I then first pull out a point of doubt of whether ‘we are up to the height’ required for it.

So in this particular practical considerations are required. For sure it would imply that I for example, have to ensure I read up to and continue educating myself to get more background on the person and their work so that I can have that same foundation for such conversation, that’s just practical stuff that I do anyways – so what changed? Well, the idea of ‘who’ the person is, so here we go!

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to consider person x as ‘way too unreachable for a chat’ considering that I have placed this person as an ‘important individual’ in their spheres of influence and within that ultimately believing that ‘they would not care/agree to have a chat with us’ without realizing that in this, I am in fact giving up or already going into defeat before even trying, so WTF?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consider that I would require something ‘more’ in order to be able to invite someone for a chat, such as greater production or more publicity or else, without realizing that what I/we do is what is possible at the moment and using the means that we have at our reach and as such the simplicity of it and the use of cost-less resources does not diminish the quality of the production as the conversation in itself – therefore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a predisposition in the belief that this individual will only accept an interview if it comes from some major media outlet, without realizing that in this I am already giving up to even actually going for it and making an invitation to the person – within this, my approach has to be equal and one as with every other person I invite and so,

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an experience of inferiority toward an individual that I consider ‘unreachable’ or ‘too famous’ or ‘too prestigious’ to be part of a conversation with me/us online – in this I realize that through this perception of the person being ‘more than’ I created my own limitation toward them and so creating an experience of uncertainty of myself in relation to how that conversation would develop – without realizing that this is all only my own mind patterns and experiences that I have created throughout time toward particular people that I have considered as ‘famous’ and ‘well known’ to be ‘out of reach’ people and me considering having a discussion with them something extravagant, meaning going ‘out of reason’ of what I would consider would be ‘suitable’ for me, which is all existent as a scheme of values that I’ve placed toward myself and others, which is unacceptable as the starting point of the whole thing is actually to promote and create a more equal society.

In this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually experience a tinge of fear of having a discussion with someone that I had previously somewhat antagonized and in this, I realized that my previous stance toward basically everyone that did not agree with how I saw solutions should be was that of rather continuous criticism, which obviously will lead us nowhere and so

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually fear that my previous criticism and mockery toward the movement that this person stands for comes back to me in the form of the person rejecting my invitation for a live discussion – in this I realize that the actual fear is that the person could use what I previously said against me and against this renewed effort to rather work together. I realize that in this I have to first forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to criticize an individual’s work and overall movement as a non-working solution, without realizing that yes we all make mistakes and what I have learned throughout these years is precisely to not create enemies, but rather be able to find a common ground and that’s my current stance. Therefore I hereby declare that I have forgiven myself for having created antagonism toward other individuals that didn’t ‘suit’ my perceptions and ideas and plans for what I define as ‘real change,’ and now that we are coming to a common ground, it seems possible that we can in fact then advocate for the same principle, which is cool and in this ultimately it’s about me being clear on where I stand in relation to this individual and the movement he stands for itself, wherein I am willing to accept my past perceptions and mistakes and so be willing to obviously start anew as this is what we all require to do in the world: to forgive ourselves for our assumptions and judgments made toward ourselves and others in order to start from scratch and building relationships that go beyond ego or ‘who’s right’ and ‘who’s wrong,’ but rather get to work together as equals.

Ultimately in all of this, I realize how my own perceptions, beliefs and past ‘trespasses’ could create a limitation in expanding toward working and contacting people that I consider are now aligning more and more with the solutions we also advocate – and so it is absolutely necessary to stop ourselves as ego from becoming an obstacle in the development that we can in fact carry out for the betterment not only of ‘ourselves’ as individuals, but for the causes that we actually stand for – this means: principle must always override any ego.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to impose a sense of ‘not being up to the height’ of another and believing that ‘the person would not want to discuss with me’ because of me not having a particular ‘popular’ stance or reputation or believing that I would require to have some sense of ‘official recognition’ in order to be able to invite certain individuals, as if there was like this ‘scale of values’ that one would have to gather in order to do so. I realize that this limitation is absolutely something built over my own perceptions toward people based on their knowledge, their information, their careers and professions, their relationships, their leadership positions and within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give more weight to knowledge, information, careers, relationships with what I have defined as ‘important people’ and within this create a limitation of ‘who I would be capable and able to establish a conversation with’ based on who I perceive them to be or what I would perceive they would think if a ‘regular person’ like me asks them for an interview.

In this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use terms like ‘being a regular person’ or a ‘mortal’ meaning a person that has no ‘laureate’ from the system or that has a specific recognition or validation at system level in relation to the topics I want to discuss, wherein I then create the usual trap of ‘not being qualified’ at the eyes of others, which is part of the problem we have co-created in our society wherein we believe that one is only ‘capable’ if you are given a ‘license’ as a permission and validation that you in fact ‘know’ about something, all part of the same system of credentials and values that exist and that yes, are required at the moment in the system – but this does not diminish someone’s ability and capacity to do the same or even more than what a person with a license has.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that others would only accept or consider me to be reliable if I had some sort of recognition ‘out in the system’ so that a person then would not reject an interview with me – and within this I forgive myself that I have actually accepted and allowed myself to assume what a person would ‘expect of me’ or the kind of ‘licenses’ they would expect me to have or the amount of knowledge that ‘they would want me to have’ in order to have a conversation with them, which is all, once again, speculation and ideas based on how I have seen for example the academic world operates in hierarchical levels wherein for example teachers and their apprentices are seen as ‘more than’ any other individual in the same institution.

This actually comes from my own experiences of imposing a superior value to people in academia in fact, people that I have considered as ‘too way up in the academic world’ and that I’ve perceived that everyone reveres to them, and that they are ‘not up for just any regular chat’ which I then realized it was false once that I got to know ‘important people’ that one would see on TV or in high academic circles and at the same time seeing them in their regular life just like any other ‘mortal’ therefore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to having carried this idea of some people being ‘holier than thou’ based on my perception of the person being ‘famous’ or ‘well known’ or having some kind of ‘important academic position’ or being ‘an artist’ or else, who are all the individuals that I placed as ‘more than myself’ including politicians of course and probably kings just because of the whole propaganda and brainwashing that is created based on the amount of ‘importance’ we believe we must give certain individuals and ‘feel’ different toward them as well, instead of realizing we are in fact equals and no amount of knowledge and information should make anyone ‘holier’ than another as it’s all based on mind values, on knowledge and information and yes, we are ultimately all made of flesh and bones and are all mortals in fact.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever learn from my family how to behave with ‘well known individuals’ and politics and people that I have considered as ‘rich’ and ‘very important people’ – apparently – that I kind of learned that I should revere in a way, and act even more service-like which is absolutely – excuse the word – fucked up. I realize that this comes from me witnessing how my family would revere to politicians whenever they would come to parties and kind of even change their stance to appear more service-like and ‘affable’ and ‘giving them the keys to their house’ so to speak, as if these individuals were ‘more’ than any other guest in the house. This comes of course from the imposition of value/power/authority and even ‘fame’ and recognition to particular individuals based on the position that they have in society for example – therefore

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I should get even ‘nervous’ or up to the expectation of having someone ‘popular’ or ‘famous’ or ‘well known’ talking with me because of imposing the same experiences that I got from witnessing my family and how they would behave with ‘important people’ like artists or politicians and within this, copy the exact same experience that I would perceive others would have around these people, which was that of excitement, nervousness and wanting everything to be ‘top notch’ FOR THEM, which is the whole ‘service-like’ attitude that I learned one ‘should have’ when dealing with someone that is considered famous, more important or – god, dare I say – more valuable than others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still see a person that is ‘well known’ through the eyes of knowledge and information, through the eyes of the mind wherein I see a person based on the amount of recognition, fame, perceived authority based on the position they occupy or else and within this forget about equality because I still place this veil of ‘importance’ over others, which is of course unacceptable as I realize that we are all in fact one and equal and that we have in fact consolidated and continued to accept the current status quo based on this mind-hierarchy that we act out almost ‘by default’ toward perceived important/famous people, which is unacceptable.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever see some of those ‘famous individuals’ as ‘more than myself’ and this comes from the time when I would approach any artist for example and request their autograph as a child and how excited I would get from these experiences, because I learned that people that were on TV then ‘were more famous than’ anyone else therefore associating value with ‘being on TV’ or any other ‘well known position,’ which implies immediately placing myself as ‘not up to that height’ so to speak – but really, all of these ideas of importance, height, prestige, fame, recognition are all values that I have associated with a ‘superiority’ instead of realizing that they are in fact words that denote the actual work and life experience as well as trajectory that an individual or group of individuals have crated throughout their life to get to certain positions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to add a positive and superiority value to the word ‘prestige’ wherein the fact that someone can be well known, respected and has achieved quite a lot in their life becomes an ‘added value’ in my perception and thus placing myself as ‘less than’ them based on such achievements, which I realize is a point of self-separation when one identifies oneself or another based on the amount of knowledge and information they have or ‘how’ other individuals perceive them, which is all seen through the mind’s eye.

 

Instead prestige is simply recognizing the well-known work and recognition of an individual’s life experience and contributions wherein their work  and their deeds speak by themselves and as such widespread recognition and respect is an outflow of their life, their work and contributions being supportive for others as well, which is definitely what we should all direct ourselves to aim at being and becoming in our lives, to leave our lifetime of supporting to create a world that is best for all, and so live self-respect, which means that someone’s work and recognition becomes their own life and what they say/do and act on, which is nothing more or nothing less than life, it is simply an example that we can learn from and so also see as the potential that exists within each one of us.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate the word ‘fame’ with an experience of superiority and ‘more than’ others comparison, instead of realizing that fame as being known or being excellent in something is not an ‘added value’ to another individual, but simply what they have achieved through their own direction and creation – whether it is for ‘good fame’ or ‘bad fame’ it is simply the general perception of ‘who another is’ based on their words and actions. Therefore, there is no need to add an experience to fame or who am I toward perceived ‘famous people’ because it is simply recognizing another’s life, trajectory, expertise and/or mastering in certain fields as yet another example of what we can do and become if we are equally diligent in the work and dedication to achieve something, which is a general trait that ‘famous people’ get to do, whether it is for constructive or destructive outcomes.

Of course the way to live fame a constructive type of fame is to become well known by one’s living example of being a solution to the world instead of a destructive role model for sure, so in that our own perceived ‘values’ over one another would have to veer toward valuing as in recognizing another individual as an example of our own potential based on how one lives by principles that recognize our equality and that consider at all times what is best for all.

Therefore, it is not to see these words of prestige, fame, recognition as a synonym of ‘superiority’ at all, but rather seeing them as the result and consolidation of their names as public figures based on the actual work they do, based on how they have contributed to the common good, which is ultimately someone that I can definitely say is respectable and for sure someone that should be recognized by all people for what they’ve done/ achieved in their lifetime. This is then the physical living and work talking for itself, which doesn’t make the person ‘more’ than another either, but simply realizing that yes they have done the actual work, they have done the actual walking of a particular point that took them to be in a certain position that they are in the world system.

 

 

 

It is interesting how even culturally we learn how to create a particular excitement or even fear when being around a particular ‘famous person,’ as if they were in fact having this ‘divine aura’ around them which doesn’t make sense as they are just humans too. Sure, one can have a particular fondness toward another individual but ultimately any person that does believe that they are ‘superior’ to others based on their fame, their work, their knowledge and information, their lifetime experience is in fact then acting from ego, and as such it is for sure their point to ultimately realize. But here, my point of self-responsibility is to ensure that I am not the one that is coming from/approaching another based on these value-systems that have led us to continue stratifying our society – this is unacceptable.

So, the corrective process is that when and as I see myself going into any slight refraction of a doubt when it comes to my ability and capability of approaching a person that I have defined as ‘important’ or ‘well known’ I make sure I identify what is it exactly that is creating the shift so that I can see what fear or what expectation came up that created such experience, and so I bring myself to the awareness that we are all human beings and there is no one ‘more than’ or ‘less than’ and so I should not place my mind’s eye as the ones to decide ‘who I am’ toward another or jumping into conclusions of ‘what the other people would ask of me’ but rather ensure that my decision to approach another is based on first of all, equality, support and the openness to dialogue and work together within the principle of what is best for all. I realize that I have to ensure that I do not use my past and my past experiences as a limitation toward approaching people or my fears/excitements or general ideas of ‘superior people’ as a veil for me to not act in common sense which means: being my own foundation and structure to give myself direction to do something based on the assessment of my ability and capability to do so.

In this, ‘who’ the other person is becomes irrelevant which means, my perception upon them is not to be used as a determining factor for it – this is about me assessing the benefit of such conversation, the potential supportive outcome of it that is best for all parts. Within this, is also necessary and quite valid to make a personal assessment of where I would require to sharpen up my studies and my review of information in order to be ‘up to date’ with what we could discuss in a conversation, but this does not mean that it’s also going to be some kind of ‘duel’ of knowledge and information either, because the starting point of this is precisely to share what each person gets to know of, understand and/or create as solutions that we can all share and learn from. Therefore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I would have to be at certain level of ‘knowledge and info’ to be ‘ready’ to talk with another, which in a way it does make sense to be prepared but not to the level of ‘wanting to know it all’ already, otherwise, what would be the point of having a conversation with another if not to learn more from each other and so strengthen ourselves equally.

 

I realize that this is also the influence of the current debate programs and interview TV shows wherein some of the interviewers challenge the person they interview sometimes to the point of ‘who knows more’ or ‘who can win’ which is the whole ‘debating’ aspect that is actually detrimental to the public watching because we then recreate the notion that someone has to be absolutely right and others absolutely wrong or dismissed – instead of realizing that a conversation with people that I have not so much previous contact with should be about having them share their perspectives, learn and take what’s best as well as learn how to listen to the points that I might not agree with, however by creating an antagonism only on that we create further rifts and problems where the actual common ground can be dismissed, which is not cool, not acceptable in a world wherein it’s easier to wage wars than creating dialogues to establish ‘peace’ so to speak.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive people that have written out books or published an exorbitant amount of words as ‘more than myself’ and within this, realizing that if the starting point is placing ‘who am I’ as an individual against another individual, ego will always create a barrier and prevent me from actually expanding and rather learning from others. In this thus, I realize that I have to ensure that my own limitations carried from the past ‘learned inferiority’ toward certain individuals doesn’t become an obstacle to me actually stretching out hands and creating contact with people that I had regarded as ‘more’ than myself, and to always realize that whenever I see anyone as ‘more than myself’ I become the very continuation of the problem I am  trying to resolve which is inequality, which is the continuation of hierarchical values and the notion of ‘power’ and superiority embedded onto something/someone above ‘the rest.’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have given up at ‘first try’ after contacting certain individuals, without realizing that my approach was still coming from this already ‘made up expectation’ of ‘they won’t accept/ they won’t even reply’ or else, which is then what happened and then became a form of ‘defeatism’ in terms of trying to approach certain individuals.

In this thus my sole responsibility is to ensure that I realize that it’s not ‘me’ that is asking for that interview, it’s about me as the principle and foundation I stand for and as with the purpose of learning from others, of sharing supportive outcomes for humanity that is asking for such interview – therefore I do not have to place myself as ‘my persona’ before me when doing my job which is to establish connections and communication with people no matter ‘who’ it is.

In this, I realize this is the point to apply, a practical equality toward people and stopping my mind’s view upon others based on ‘who’ I perceive they are, and instead I commit myself to focus on their words, their work, their visible and practical solutions and contributions to society, which is what I am interested as a person that represents an organization that stands for the principle of what is best for all life.  In this I have to also recognize myself and to not ‘devalue’ me based on the perceived ‘validations’ I would require to ‘make me/my words/what I stand for’ as ‘valid’ or ‘recognizable’ in the world system, as I realize that there is currently no such ‘validation’ and due importance given to the consideration and realization of life in equality, of supporting one another, of truly working together for best for all outcomes and so , how can I expect me/us to have such ‘recognition’ in a world that recognizes and places fame on the exact opposite?

There’s no visible honoring toward life yet so we have to build it from scratch so I commit myself to stop expecting some form of ‘validation’ or ‘recognition’ or ‘credits’ in order to give further steps of expansion within myself and my process of communicating with others – and instead rather recognize that it is our own work, our own consistency and dedication that which makes us valuable as the principles that we stand and live by – ultimately that’s just the value of life for life and that’s rather what I decide to dedicate myself to honor, to honor life not world-system credentials and ‘values’ placed in separation of who we really are as equals, which is also what’s worth while supporting and sharing with others.

 

I commit myself to imposing money-talk to others too wherein I value others based on ideas related to energy and money, which is not who we really are and so I rather develop a communication based on living principles where equality stands as our undeniable common ground to work on.

 

All Life Is Equal

 

Read people recognizing Life in Equality in the 7 Year Journey to Life blogs

 

The Free Desteni I Process Lite course is a first platform of self-support to learn more about ourselves, our mind and understand how we can practically improve our potentials and skills.

 


373. Meeting the Most Evil Man on Earth: Bernard Poolman

Today August 11th, 2013 Bernard Poolman Died and it’s quite the most shocking news you can get on what one would expect to be the most regular Sunday morning on Earth, it wasn’t and I agree with Cerise’s statement My Dad, The Devil: the world is more poor without him.

I must begin with saying that I have never known what to say when people die, and have only attended one single funeral that wasn’t even from a family member but my mother’s best friend and every time I got to know someone was dead I just could not know what to say or if I should ‘feel’ anything – well today I got a more direct experience of that for the first time. I am 26 years old and have never lost anyone as close to me until today yet I wipe the tears and continue to stand because I’ve gotten more than enough support from him to now be where I am standing today: writing the new contract I’ve acquired with life, walking the process to stand equal and one to the words lived by him as the walking living flesh he was, a man that has been hated by people that are willing to abuse and deny the responsibility we have in this world and  deny what is required to be done on Earth, but at the same time revered by all of us that are grateful for every single moment he would share what would be Here to be shared, in the moment – no preparation, no scripts, no nothing –  and to me it was more than an honor to be able to directly collaborate in being the hands that type out what he would so fluently speak out and yes, that will be no more – but the words are still here and now to be lived by each one of us since it is what we are here to be and become: stand equal to the living principle he embodied, that’s what he really was and continues to Be.

Continuing from:

 

When approaching the Desteni Forum for the first time, we got to see posts by ‘Eagle,’ an individual that would post all videos and continually respond to every single post that was made in such a riddled yet clear cut way that only through reading such words it was like opening my brain to a whole new window that I knew it was there, but somehow it was marvelously placed in such directive simple ways that I immediately knew I’d like to someday be able to directly see the points, which was also learned through all of the replies posted on the DesteniProductions Channels (2007-2011). Later on Eagle became Common Sense and as I begun to participate in the Private Forum in march 2008, I can say that I’ve been tremendously assisted by all the chats conducted by Bernard from that time wherein I’ve learned of the miles of words shared by him, Sunette/Dimensions and everyone else that have contributed with as an essential part of walking the Desteni Process: the support we got at the forum until our very last chat with Bernard this week is something that remains as one of the best dynamites a human being can ever detonate within an indoctrinated mind shaped in the image and likeness of a system of self-abuse, only to make space for genuine living foundations based on living principles

 

 

My initial admiration for Bernard as the words/principles he spoke of later on became a realization of how what he embodied as the Principled Living on Earth, wasn’t about something ‘superior’ or ‘special’ but actually simply living by the principles he spoke of, the actions he lived and the relationships he formed that are the genuine examples that we have as a testimony of a new way of living for humanity if we so want to continue living in this world. He said it best: “Self honesty is not nice or beautiful” and this became a key quote for me to continually remind myself that the sugar and spice type of life we had all been taught to seek and follow was always a Lie. I resonated with this very clearly which is why I resonated a lot to the words he spoke of, he was wording out what I had seen but merely allowed to ‘pass by’ and now being aware of this had a definitive cause and direction: to expose the lies, to learn how to Self Forgive and walk an individual process of Integrity, Self Respect, Honor and most importantly getting rid of all the bullshit that usually keeps us busy in the mind – I certainly learned to appreciate myself and stand as the reality of who I really am and conduct my potential. I didn’t have many conversations with him while at the farm other than very specific points to be discussed and somehow I see that I didn’t entirely open myself up back then as I was still tip-toeing around it all, not wanting my stuff to be exposed yet understanding that he could see it all.

“Self honesty is not nice or beautiful” – Bernard Poolman

Such a simple statement  yet absolutely supportive since we tend to create this idea that process is something great, marvelous, that will turn us into these good doers or even worse righteous gods  instantly  when it has nothing to o with that, it is genuinely being willing to actually get to know our demon-self, the truth of ourselves, the reality, the nitty-gritty details that we have all always concealed to learn how to ‘make-up’ with flowery words of love and light, and being ‘good’ and eliciting nice experiences upon other individuals without even realizing to what extent – by keeping these masks – we have continued to keep the current hypocrisy and false-value systems that in no way represent a living principle that life should be. Bernard was the living words of every aspect that required to be said in a world where Life is being sold and Equality is a demonized non-living word. He stood as the living principle of the resolution, the integrity, determination, clarity and discipline required to walk this process that we’ve embarked ourselves in within this Process, this  Journey to Life that involves the dismantling of this world at all levels, even beyond what our minds can conceive in order to establish a new living contract on Earth, a contract that stipulates through our written word the principles, the responsibility and practical steps to actually change the nature of who we have become as individuals in the mind – every single statement written and later on spoken in interviews by Bernard revealed to us a blueprint of the mess we are in as this world system and our individual reality, due to everything that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become. He was always writing the raw truth about reality and opening up the necessary self-confrontation necessary to realize one single thing: we are all collectively responsible for everything we are, everything we’ve become in this world and this was done without ever inciting violence, vengeance or retaliation against ‘others,’ without going ‘against the system,’ without having to incite to revolt or do anything ‘extremist’ as some haters would love to claim he did, just to discredit a message that actually challenged their current self-interested ways of ‘living’ while neglecting abuse.  Instead Bernard did the absolute opposite, he pointed out something we had been missing all along: in this world we have no enemies other than ourselves, individually, we’ve been screwed by our written words that never have considered life in equality – and this clicked within me as the realization of how blindfolded I  had been to always take a stance of antagonism to portray myself as the ‘good person’ without even investigating if such ‘benevolence’ was in fact real – which it obviously wasn’t but only a self-interested mechanism to keep me on ‘good spirits’ while pointing out the flaws in the world.  We were pushed to question ourselves  if it was in fact the integrity I believed myself to have such as in ‘having nothing to do with the ‘evil’ in the world, without even seeing, realizing an understanding that the very thoughts, pictures, imaginations, intentions, secret desires and future projections stood as the very building blocks of our collective illusion – my empire of dirt was debunked and so I realized how worth-less was it to continue ‘holding on’ to something that had never been in fact an example of what living is all about.

 

So, Marlena was the girl that got to the farm in an intense desire to be just noticed right away, and he noticed it right away ‘You are still trying to get recognition’ and realized the point an committed myself to walk and learn what humbleness is about. I was insecure, hooked on harmful relationships, fearing, not wanting to ‘get out and be seen,’ hiding my face behind hair– literally – not wanting to make much noise in the internet, not wanting people to know about myself and my process, being regulated by a sense of ‘self preservation’ of ‘what I like, who I am’ and being fearing any form of conflict wherein I may lose the approval of people or any other ‘meaningful’ relationship I believed to have in this world – well all of these aspects have been slowly but surely debunked throughout time by living and applying the example that Bernard stood as along with every other person that begun applying the same tools within this process.

I got to know I was just asking for another confirmation of a ‘changed character’ a ‘bettered version of myself’ when that wasn’t in fact what this process is about, and within an attempt to keep things in a ‘nice way’ I realized I was only creating yet another mask to conceal myself within the Idea of ‘Change’ without genuinely understanding I was ‘playing it safe’ – until later.

‹Bernard› remember that all is self
thus–self awareness, self standing

make all the words with self you direct your self to be and live it and in the mind–you make up reasons why not to do what you will–but fear others like family

dare to live for real
and fix reality to be worthy of you and all other beings here
  (2008)

 

Marlen's Visit to the Farm 2009

Where is Bernard in that group pic? Lol! I was laughing so hard because he was the one taking the pic an making us all laugh (July 2009, Desteni Farm – South Africa)

 

I am grateful that I was able to visit the farm in 2009 and stay for a year and meet The Most Evil Man on Earth: Bernard Poolman. When I got at the farm he wasn’t home yet and when he arrived the first words were “You’re already Making Noise!” lol because I was just too happy to be finally there and speaking too much with everyone I had already developed relationships with at the forum and being overtly excited about it all, so I greeted with a big hug and from there on, I was in for the experience of my life, I could have never known how much one can learn from another individual and all the people at the farm walking this process as the support it means in order to understand what Living by Principle in fact means in physical reality.

I probably would have liked to be able to be more open toward him while I was there, I was still wanting to stand somehow ‘in the background’ and not stepping up so much forth as I considered others to be more capable than me and I was still holding onto quite a hierarchized way of thinking that is certainly non existent within me at the moment, since I learned how to plant the seed of self-stability, self-authority, self-will, self-respect, practicing the realization of the importance of the written word in a world consumed by contracts of evil as the reverse of life. I certainly got such resolve within myself while being there and remained cultivating it ever since.

 

At the farm I went through heaven and hell, but the hell must be understood as the necessary as-it-should-be realization that throughout my life I had disregarded essential principles in relation to the ‘who I am’ as ‘my time,’ ‘my preferences,’  ‘wanting to do only what I like/want/feel like doing’ and the consequences that I got to face was the realization of how little was I in fact considering other beings – specially animals in my case – in my reality, but only focusing on this ‘self-enhancement’ without a clear resolve and understanding of what Equality truly means in all practical levels, which lead me to realize coexistence and the equality with all life forms that I had disregarded so far as  a part of everything that is here as myself.

The self that is created is an illusion

 

What I’ve learned from Bernard is a lot more than what I will express in these lines since every single  interaction with him – directly and indirectly –  lead me to strengthen, clarify and expand my understanding of this world, life, the visible and invisible yet verifiable in all ways in terms of observing the nature of this reality as our image and likeness, as the fuckup we all signed ourselves to with ink on the flesh as the self that we sold in the name of experience, of energy. Along with this I was able to develop the ability to recognize the actual abilities, skills and talents that I had doubted I could ever develop. I am grateful for the challenges I was able to take on while being at the farm. Lol, there’s this funny moment where one morning Bernard asked ‘Who wants to take a painting project!?’ and Marlen raises hand right away “Meeee!!” and yes oh boy was it not the kind of ‘painting’ I was expecting but an actual challenge of thick brush and rolling painting an entire building lol, which I managed to do with the help here and there of the other guys, man was I proud of myself and according to that immediate ability to respond and stick to my word of ‘getting it done’ in such an apparent simple task, I was able to realize to what extent I had limited myself by my own thoughts of distrust, of doubt and hesitation to speak – slowly but surely I saw that I had only feared being wrong, saying the ‘bad things,’ wanting to be directed/getting orders instead of actually realizing I could develop the common sense and techniques as I go, and this didn’t only apply to the work done at the farm which was already in itself a challenge but also in relation to the ability to commit oneself to do something and Actually Doing-it.  Such is the nature of the things I learned at the farm, learned Self Will and a determination I had absolutely no Idea I was able to bring forth and establish as myself, as my expression.

 

There’s No doubt that all the points I learned from Bernard and others’ interactions with him enabled me to realize that the actual power we have exists  in and as every single breath, and how we had to let go of fears to stand in order to be visible, to not be fearful or ashamed in any way of what I am doing and this is something continued to be walked every single day as the fear is no longer there, but the resolve is a constant renewal of existential vows, the reason why we’re doing this is because we have kept ourselves waiting for far too long for someone to ‘show us the way,’ and it is only now within this process and having Bernard’s example that a new living nature of humanity became a living possibility for all of us aware of and walking the Desteni process, which is nothing else than applying the tools that Bernard himself used to become what he became: the living word in flesh.

 

 

I’ve described several key moments through my journey in this entire MarlenLife blog of things I learned from him, including the R.I.P God blog wherein I realized the irrelevance of my questions about existence and reality that were based on the same constructs and ideas in separation of myself, detached from any real physical value on Earth.

I was at the Farm when we embarked ourselves in the course that is being now provided as an educational platform of self support for several people that have committed themselves to it: the Desteni I Process – back then the Structural Resonance Alignment (SRA)– and I was one of the first individuals to go through it and have the opportunity to buddy people, learning how to begin trusting my understanding and common sense and placing it into application. I remember also all the times we would have the infamous ‘Interviews from the Farm’ which were usually chats at the lounge are or the veranda with the entire group that was living there where we got some of the greatest lessons one could have ever gotten about the world system, heaven, Earth, the Afterlife, Process, The cure for our Curiosity –  it was like story time with real shocking and real supportive facts that are equally available till this day at the article section http://desteni.org/articles/interviews-from-the-farm   

I will probably always say how 2009-2010 was the greatest year of my life, and a small part of this is depicted in the following video Here as Life

The most supportive thing was when I was able to be called out for the patterns I was existing as and I am being forever thankful for the support Bernard gave me to see that which I had absolutely neglected and refused to see, up to the point where I  walked ‘the death of me’ and assisted myself to more and more grasp what must be done in this process and stand as a point of support for myself and everyone else. The thing is I wasn’t exactly told what to do which was also another point of great support – I took a decision to come back, finish school and continue with my process which has been walked with all the same support we got and continued standing and taking on the point I had resisted the most: the Equal Money System proposal and realized that it was a decision I had made to stand up for something that truly means equalizing the value of Life in this world – along with Bernard’s support we continued to walk all the matrixes of self deception to get back to the point where we have realized no solution on Earth will be possible unless we first focus on the Education of the Human Mind, and this is something I continuously confirmed through and with Bernard every single time which also strengthen the resolution to focus on what we are currently doing: supporting ourselves as we are supporting many others to get past the veils of the mind and be what I have committed myself to be: a Life-Birthing assistant as this is what I received not only from Bernard but Everyone else at Desteni, as the Desteni Group world wide, so we’ll continue to spam the world with common sense and self honesty.

 

 

I had few moments of being with him alone, and our conversations were always very directive lol which is cool in a way because that’s how I got to see that I didn’t have to ‘beat around the bush’ and go straight to the facts, get past the emotional bs and focus on the practical directions.  I must say that I had kept still a veil toward him until the past months where he became more than just a living example but also a buddy, a colleague, someone I could share and laugh with at the nonsense of the world and always bringing it back to a solution – all was clear and a constant confirmation of the common sense learned and developed through living and applying the example that he has provided us all with. I will miss that interaction, but again as the clarity that is here as I write these words, I realize that he exists As the Words we will continue to write, live and stand one and equal to, where “Bernard”ceases to exist as a name and memory only and becomes part of who we are as the words we live, standing as an example and living expression that we decided to take on from him and expand through, walking through the systems until we all realize our actual potential and live it out, because that’s what he was able to see within every single individual that had the decision to walk this process of self support. Yes never in my life had I lived with such unconditional beings at the farm and him being the example of what it is to support another the way we would like to be supported ourselves, not expecting anything in return other than the ability to stand on our own two feet, standing side by side as who he is. 

 

I had great laughs with him as well, I particularly enjoyed all the moments of laughter because he had this great sense of humor, lol everyone should have been able to listen to his characterization of the American accent or when he would approach beings at the gas station, the supermarket and ask them about god and money and what would they prefer to keep if they had the option – lol! But I also got to witness first hand the actual physical process he was going through, I witnessed the amount of pain he would endure on a daily basis due to the systems taken on by him as part of his process. I would become worried about it, I wanted to be a solution to ease his pain and he only said: keep breathing and that is already a cool thing for me – and so I will continue until the last one I give  myself. He explained to me how that was his point in process and how I would do the same in his shoes – I said Yes, and continue to confirm I stand within the resolution and self will I learned from him, a genuine example of what it is to stand by principle, doing all that he could, no matter what and never make a big fuzz about it, but learn how to breathe through it, within the understanding of what must be done here in this world.

 

 

malls the churches of capitalism

 

I learned how to  stand up to my own self-abuse, to  slowly but surely get past the trivial aspects that I had held myself a victim toward or apathetic about and be able to integrate living principles that are absolutely non existent in a reality where we abuse life in the name of power as money, in a world where a single value system has become our image and likeness of desires, wants, needs and imaginations that only benefit ourselves, disregarding the consideration of how the abuse on Earth is not built only through/due to money, but the relationships, the contracts, the profiles, the pictures we’ve created within our reality.

 

I learned what Equality means in physical practical terms, what the equation of 1+1=2 meant and I can now laugh a a bit at myself when we were discussing the Equal Money System back in 2009 and I remember asking him: but what will be the value of money then? And he simply said: Life. Eureka! a whole new world was able to be realized just because it revealed to me what kind of religion our political, economic an political systems had become. I also learned how to give myself direction and take on greater responsibilities within the group, which is something I had held myself back from doing just because of those initial fears and seeing the points as separate from me – yet when realizing the principles required for it, one can certainly develop this resolve as we go integrating the living principles necessary to establish self-trust and be able to genuinely begin living without the constant desire to ‘return to my safe cave’ and ‘forget about this ever happening’ – such point cannot exist when one realizes the extent of the problem we’re facing in this world and existence and the responsibility we hold toward every single word, every single screwed up relationship we’ve established as the reverse of Life and how we must stand up to genuinely correct the damage we’ve done to ourselves and every other living particle we’ve taken for granted as part of ourselves.

My resolve to this process is to establish the living principles he stood as the way I have been walking for the past 5 years, of course I require to strengthen my ability to see beyond the ‘downfalls’ when we see there is no way out, because we both agreed that there is always a way out and that is how one can always see solutions where I once only saw gloom and doom, death and destruction.

 

After these years of having walked the placement and development of economic, political and social systems applying the principles he shared with us, I realize the importance of first beginning to establish a living common sensical understanding and application of all of these principles and actually living them, embodying them as the way we relate to ourselves, to one another,  and stand as that pillar of support to others to o the same because I can see that we require each other to make this work and this is how more than this being about Bernard is about the living principles of self integrity, honor, self respect that we will continue to live and apply toward one another, being grateful for the existence of human beings around the world that as myself are able to Hear his words and commit ourselves to be the examples that this world has yet to realize we are all able to be and become, when we start honoring life and ensuring that we live the words and walk the way forward.

 

Thank you Bernard! I will be forever grateful but more than that, we got to now stand as the principles you left and not be a only a follower – we’re ready and capable of this. Let’s do it!

 

Bernard’s blog:
Creation’s Journey To Life

 

Also check out:

Bernard Poolman’s Quotes

 

 

Matis, Bernard Poolman

Mantis on Bernard’s hand (2009)

Support for Destonians:

 

And don’t forget to watch Bernard’s favorite besides Coffee: The Century of the Self

 

What now?

 

Ready to Become a Destonian and start Walking your Journey to Life?

Here’s How:

1) Make the Decision to Take Responsibility for yourself and stand up for Life in Equality – start Writing Yourself to Freedom, open up a blog and make a commitment to Walk the 7 year Journey to Life and share others’ blogs as well

https://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

2) Join the Desteni Lite Free Course to walk step by step the tools of Writing, Self Forgiveness, Self Honesty and becoming the Living Solution for this World.

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

3) Join the Desteni Forum: participate in discussions, ask questions and post your own blogs in the 7 Year Journey to Life thread, Let yourself be Known for your Commitment to Stand up for Life

http://forum.desteni.org/

7 Year Journey to Life Walkers: http://forum.desteni.org/viewforum.php?f=75&sid=361564addd09c47738ca69f5f9da4e82

4) Support the Living Income Guaranteed Proposal – Visit basicincome.me for regular updates and participate in the discussions on the site

http://basicincome.me/

http://basicincome.me/discuss

http://www.youtube.com/biguaranteed

5) Support Desteni and Yourself through investing in Educational and Self Supportive Material at Eqafe.com

https://eqafe.com/ and Hear all the Free Stuff here:

https://eqafe.com/free

6) Read, Subscribe to and Share Destonian’s blogs, vlogs and the Desteni Material on Social Media Sites

Give to the same Support to others as have been Given to You – Spread the Living Word wherever you can

http://destonians.com/

https://www.facebook.com/groups/2403779056/

7) Commit yourself to this Process Realizing that You are not only Walking for Yourself but to bring about a World that we all want to Live in. Share your process in videos YouTube for greater Impact and Support

 

Thank you all for reading and walking with, let’s continue honoring each other.


370. Desteni Insider: God, Spirituality, the Afterlife

 

Coming to the realization that who we are in this world is not working to create a better world made me seek answers to try and make sense/justify the suffering, poverty, wars, corruption, a lack of consideration to one another that I used as an excuse to remain only within a persistent process of questioning reality beyond what one is taught in school. I grew up being influenced by the ideas of there being ‘Life after Death’ and the dead coming through channelers or mediums to tell their ‘loved ones’ how they were alright and how everything was going to be ‘just fine’ for them. But also there were messages coming from a form of ‘brotherhood’ from which myself and my family would be getting all sorts of apparent protections and blessings in order to ‘do well’ in our lives. I kept questioning who exactly these individuals were and why in spite of them seeing the people that were seeking for help – being mostly desperately seeking money – was there no divine intervention to support them and end the suffering, end world hunger or even better: establish Heaven on Earth. All that was shared between these spiritual people were nice messages that gave hope and reinforced any kind of faith that would keep everyone waiting and expecting things turning out to their favor as a sign that this ‘god’ or ‘spiritual beings’ actually existed and were in fact on our side,  taking care of ourselves and solving whichever mundane troubled situation we were stuck in. Yet all of this seemed too staged, too dogmatic since it wasn’t something one could openly discuss due to the entire atmosphere of secrecy and reverence that existed whenever these beings would speak through the channelers/mediums that could only speak for a short period of time.

 

I was then familiar with the existence of a heaven or a spiritual realm beyond the Earth plane where the dead would go, yet we never got any answers as to why the world was in the verge of destruction and why us human beings kept existing in these ‘lessons to be learned’ somehow always yearning for a better living condition (translated to having money to live well and in peace) – these and many other questions were not allowed, it seemed that all that really mattered were our personal queries of any form of personal relationship gone wrong, or money problem which, if resolved, would only confirm our trust on these individuals within the belief that somehow we were being ‘chosen ones’ or ‘special’ for having this kind of contacts. It seemed unfair to me since I knew that everyone in the world could benefit the same way we were – apparently – yet others didn’t seem to agree since I had to keep it a secret throughout my entire life.

 

When watching Sunette Spies as a portal in the Desteni videos that were being broadcasted on YouTube since 2007, the in breath and out breath wasn’t anything unusual or weird to me, I instead thought I knew what was going on: I immediately assumed and believed she was a channeler/ a medium like any of the other beings I had witnessed throughout my life – yet there were significant changes that made me ponder ‘what kind of brotherhood/beings were these’ because the message somehow was quite straight, direct, there were no staged words or fancy presentations charged with the usual key words that the other beings I had witnessed before would express themselves with.  I started questioning more and comparing the Desteni Message to what I had heard before from what I believed were the same kind of beings: how come these beings speaking through Sunette were speaking as any regular person? How come they would be speaking about there being No God and reptilian beings having created the human being? Why were they not just leaving with some message of hope and ‘goodness’ rectifying that god is with us? Instead the reptilian point was opened which wasn’t any longer a mystery to me since I had also done a brief investigation on the subject prior to Desteni. Everything I thought I knew about channelers/mediums was debunked when I got to watch the video and read the articles related to channeling (Kryon – Pre-programmed Channels, Questions and Perspectives: Unconscious Mind Pre-programmed Channels, Questions and Perspectives: Continued pre-programmed Channels , Questions and Perspectives: Oneness and Equality with regards to ‘Channelings’ , Questions and Perspectives: How was psychics and channels controlled and why? , 2007 History of Mankind – Part 16 – Anu’s Plan – YouTube) explaining why it was also part of the program and why all forms of ‘light beings’ were part of the deception on Earth to keep individuals trapped in the belief that somehow, there was a benevolent god, that love was the way and that we only had to continue aspiring to have some manifestation of the divine through thinking positive or asking things to the universe. All of this was the real scam and later on understood as the cult of money that it has become nowadays (Read: Day 450: The Power of Now Illuminated)

 

So continuing with the previous post 369. Desteni: An Insider’s Report what I came to realize is that everything was in fact a preprogrammed and predesigned reality construct that we have been living in wherein even the higher beings, the gods, the ‘supreme energies’ that I had placed any form of belief upon were in fact also part of the reality design that we have all been participating in within our minds and in absolute separation of the reality that was certainly existing in complete dissonance to all the benevolent words we would get within the New Age culture – all of this was perfectly schemed as part of the diversion to never get to question ‘God’s creation’ and the beliefs we have acquired through familial and cultural tradition, all being part of the necessary programs that we have within and existing as Mind Consciousness Systems. This is when the point of enslavement was understood. I grasped how perfect the plan had been wherein everything in this world was in reverse and every single aspect of who we have believed ourselves to be as human beings in terms of the spiritual endeavors, seeking gods, bonding ourselves within religions, seeking eternal life, seeking the philosopher’s stone had been nothing else but a nice game that we blindly followed, never ever questioning why is it that we only sought our personal enlightenment, happiness and comfort? Why were we just expecting some god to do the work for us, or have these ‘special connections with a higher force’ while the rest of the world was submerged in suffering and agony due to lacking the necessary means to live which is the same as: lacking sufficient money to live; furthermore, why were all of these people suffering absolutely unaware that there were apparently some spiritual beings that could grant them healings and protect them from ‘all evils’ – apparently. This all made sense to understand how the vilest form of enslavement had to have a very agreeable and sugar coated image in order to be unquestioned and undoubtedly accepted as ‘truth,’ how our constant need to ‘seek god’ was just fearing to realize we are here alone and responsible for every single aspect that has gone wrong in this world, how the enslavement of humanity had been part of a ‘greater process’ by a few individuals that wanted to ‘be Gods’ in existence – it was all revealed to be a sick cosmic joke that we have all been a part of, life after life.

 

As I went through the material, I committed myself to remain skeptical about that which sounded the most fantasy like to me, simply because I could not witness myself the ‘other side’ or ‘the afterlife’/heaven  yet, once again the consistency of the message from the hundreds of beings from all walks in existence speaking through the portal lead me to realize that the final message was quite clear, consistent and made absolute sense as to why this portal had opened and why we they were calling out humanity to walk a process of Self-Honesty. I understood then how all the New Age agenda, the spirituality movement, the promoted ways for ‘peace of mind’ through meditation and seeking to align your chakras to be in resonance with god had been nothing else but a self-interest brainwashing that I had briefly participated in within an attempt to make my life less ‘miserable’ or as I experienced it to be miserable in my existential woes and ever present form of depression. After understanding religion, love, spirituality, channelings as a pillar and essential part to this enslavement of ourselves in our minds, I was ready to leave that all behind and instead begin walking a very different path that I never ever thought I would place myself in: letting go of the idea of god, of spirituality, of something or someone greater than me in order to get to know me as a creator in this reality.

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What I came to realize was that we were truly all alone as human beings, we are the direct creators of the reality that I was wanting to escape from or completely eradicate or disguise with some ulterior beliefs about a genuine spiritual realm that we could somehow rely to in order to be supported or saved in worst case scenarios by invisible beings or forced of the ‘goodness’ that I thought existed beyond the Earth plane, little did I know it was exactly the opposite that this reality existed as.

These realizations led me to understand how I had veered my life to seek answers and make someone else responsible for the mess on Earth due to the fear that I had about who we are and what we have become as the real perpetrators of our crime scene: the world-system imposed on the Earth. This was what partly caused the emotional breakdown that I had to go through in order to be willing to see beyond what I had initially sought to find at Desteni which was just ‘more of the same confirmations about the goodness in existence’ I was wrong. For the first time I had a crystal clear understanding that if we don’t stop deluding ourselves in spirituality, religions, gods, masters, etc. we will continue to abuse and eventually destroy ourselves if we don’t stop.

I went from being a profuse reader of religions, philosophies and watching all kinds of conspiracy theories videos to a more down to earth verifiable investigation of the state of the world; while being subscribed to the DesteniProductions YouTube Channel (2007-2011) we would regularly get all kinds of documentaries and videos that would expose the reality of this world: poverty, crimes against life, corruption in the political world, the destruction of nature, the abuse of the animal kingdom, the conspiracy theory that our economy and monetary systems are, the madness of the human mind, including spiritual messages that were now clearly understood as a genuine scam to divert the human’s attention from the real problems we had provoked in this world. I was taken aback due to the realization that I had mostly avoided watching the full graphic reality that takes place every single day in this world – It made me angry and sad at the same time, going into a depression upon realizing to what extent we have all been too focused on our personal endeavors to get all kinds of gifts from the universe, attract all the money, health and all the ‘good stuff’’ in our lives, aiming at living a happy fulfilled life without ever really wanting to understand how such nice life was in fact being manufactured/produced/created by every individual that is existing in a slave position that earns the daily bread through creating our personal heavens, the real and actual forced labor that exists in this world happens when having no money means: you die.

The sensitivity that I claimed to have toward the world, the usual depression that I would allow myself to be in whenever I would go out in the streets and witnessed the misery, the ‘soft violence’ and constant fear that we all existed in became slowly but surely debunked as the mechanism to protect myself from actually understanding my responsibility within the creation of the problem in this world. I came to understand that my sadness, my depression, my ‘wanting to end it all’ was another form of manipulation to not take responsibility for myself and this world –the constant belittling believing myself to be ‘too little’ to make a change in this world was exposed as a personality trait that had lead me to stand in the background, to choose seeking to create images and pictures that ‘made me feel good’ in an attempt to seek something of ‘real value,’ something ‘greater’ and meaningful to do the work for me, to protect me, to give me some comfort and happiness while pretending that I could ignore the harsh and crude reality that exists for every individual that somehow we have all collectively decided do not deserve to have a dignified living, and yes I realized I am part of the clan as a human being that have accepted and allowed this without a question throughout ages. I understood my self interest to only have a ‘good time’ in this life and be ‘against the system’ while seeking some higher connection with the spiritual realm that I believed was ‘what was real’ – I was wrong, I was absolutely blind.

 

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What became clear was that such ‘nasty thing’ that I had avoided to talk about and pretended to ignore was suddenly understood as the ‘real god’ of this reality: money and this was the simple message that I could clearly reference within my world due to having been keen on politics and sociology before my ‘spirituality’ phase that I had resorted to due to having been too disillusioned of the political and economic world that going to the opposite side was just another shot at ‘making it’ in this life. I had to go back to reviewing the facts of this reality, the same one that is here the moment we go out from the comfort of our homes and the money we have in our wallets – I realized it wasn’t ‘god’ giving me this life, it was money and so my spirituality trip came to an end within the realization that everything I had participated in was a feel-good story for me-myself and I in the mind and that it had made no difference whatsoever to the genuine struggle that the world is sinking in and is continuing to sink in, in spite of this also having been foretold by the various beings through the Desteni portal in 2007 . Five years later and humanity is still opting to hear the feel good fluff rather than walking through a process of self-investigation to see ‘who am I’ within this world, what is my responsibility within this and  how can I practically contribute to stop the madness in here in order to establish the constant and consistent message that Desteni presents and represents: Life in Equality.

 

I started shedding away the beliefs I had held till then since I understood it was only a mindjob in order to justify the worst crimes in our reality, including the monetary system as a belief system, the idea of self as a self-religion and the seeking of my personal desires as a self-interest life path that was contributing to the enslavement of the many and the ignorance that exudes from every corner of this world wherein we are so used to buying and consuming happiness and avoid anything that makes us re-consider who we are, what we’ve done and become and what we are here for.

 

Slowly but surely I made the decision to become an advocate of the rather ‘harsh’ side of reality in an attempt to provide sufficient evidence and personal realizations for all spiritual and religious devotees to hear about such as there being no god, we’re It and there’s nothing and no one coming to save us: we have to do it ourselves.

 

Once stripped from this individual aspect of spirituality that had lead me to voraciously read the articles on the desteni.org website and watch the videos available, I came to the conclusion that I had to obviously do something about this. It was impossible to now turn my back and pretend I didn’t just hear that, it would have been impossible for me to lie to myself any longer – so I directed myself to what was explained to be the practical process that each one of us could live by and apply: the process of Self Honesty through Writing ourselves to Freedom, Writing and Applying Self Forgiveness, Developing Common Sense and Dedicating ourselves to get to know who we are, how we came to be to begin stopping existing as a preprogrammed organic robot that gets to experience highs and lows in various personalities for all the various ‘life scenarios’ and occasions. That’s when I determined myself to be part of this process, because all of the enigmas about god, the afterlife, the creation of humanity were explained in such detail and with such consistency that the key to create and establish solutions on Earth existed in fact within our individual participation in this process – so, if this was the solution I made the decision to do it, I had to finally try these tools that they were constantly explaining and directing everyone to apply. This meant that I had to actually do the whole Process, I had to test the waters and see whether this was ‘for real’ or not – and so I committed myself to this, wanting to be ‘part of it all’ yet not really yet grasping the actual importance of this process on Earth and the changes that were to come within my world, this certainly was No longer an illusion.

SAYING THAT ‘THE WORLD IS AN ILLUSION’ IS AN ATTEMPT TO SOLVE THE PRIMORDIAL PROBLEM ON ‘WHAT IS REAL/ WHAT IS REALITY’ AND FOLLOW THE LAWS OF THE LEAST EFFORT AND ‘SEEKING/ FOLLOWING YOUR GREATEST EXCITEMENT’ TO NOT HAVE TO FACE AND CARE ABOUT THE WORLD/ REALITY WITHOUT SEEING THAT THIS WORLD/ REALITY IS AS REAL AS WE HAVE TO EAT, SHIT, DRINK AND RELATE TO OTHERS TO CONTINUE EXISTING IN IT. HOW COME THAT WE AS HUMANITY DARED OURSELVES TO SIDE-VIEW THE MOST BASIC COMMON SENSE IN THE NAME OF JOY, HAPPINESS, FAITH AND HOPE? EASY, IT’S NICE TO REJOICE IN THE MIND AND NEGLECT OUR RESPONSIBILITY WITHIN IT ALL.

This will continue…

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The blog that explains it all : Heaven’s Journey To Life

 

Related blogs/ vlogs debunking spirituality – 

A selection of my investigation through the Desteni Process

2012 Life After Death–Interdimensional Portal | Testimony

The Video Tolle Doesn’t Want YOU to See

How to Raise Your Frequency (Ask Teal Episode on Increasing Your Vibrations

Spirituality and Capitalism Make sweet love through Hicks

2011 Pretty Happiness Machines – Vlog the Hell Out of this World

2011 AbrahamHicks – You Are Perfect As You Are – Video

2012 Spirituality and Activism Won’t Change the World – YouTube

Eckhart Tolle – Nirvana Is Already Here –

The Biggest Missing Piece – Abraham Hicks –

Fears and white light beliefs

Don’t try to get rid of the ego!” – Alan Watts’ review

The Jesus Message is Not Religious –

2010 ¿Spiritual Consciousness? Where’s the MATTER? –

2012 Positive Thinking Debunked! Heaven’s Journey To Life

2012 I Used to Be a Loving Person –

2012 Religious Consumerism: God is in the TV

2011 Vatican Exposed & the Faithful Deceived –

2010 EQUALITY: The END of All Religions

2012 Doomsday Character: Sick of Humanity?

2012 Existential Woes: Stop and Know Yourself

2012 Organic Self-Indulgent Lifestyle –

11.11.11 Opening Of The Portal Of The Divine

2012 Walking with Desteni: Why I could Hear the Desteni Message – Part 1 –

2012 Walking with Desteni: Why I could Hear the Desteni Message – Part 2

The Secret History of the Universe: The Discovery of Light –

2010 Do You Want to Be ETERNAL? –

Bruce Lipton ‘ The Power Of Consciousness’ –

2008 I used to believe in a god

Law of Attraction is Based on Memory

Why isn’t Love an Illegal drug?

2012 Love is a Drug: Are YOU an Addict?

Life After God

135. ‘The Secret’ CULTivates Narcissists |

future and white light crap |

Day 11: I.O.U. Life as a Debt System of Power

Occupy LOVE: New Activist Brainwashing

2012 R.I.P. God |

2011 Desteni Portal: Objectives

Desteni y las Teorías de Conspiración

How I was able to Hear Desteni?

In Heaven Everything is Fine

 


195. The Righteousness of Evil

 

“And I questioned myself many times why it was like me wanting to simply ‘let go’ of such nagging experience, without realizing that it won’t just be ‘gone’ by me kind of only ‘thinking’ about it and coming to realizations like ‘oh yes, it’s the evil in me’ and turn around and keep going with my ‘life.’ Of course it cannot work like that, that’s precisely how we have lived as humanity, just wanting to brush-off, neglect and hide the actuality of our inner experience.”

 

Continuation to 194. Let the Mask Fall!

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to every time that I would get into an experience of discomfort and general uneasiness within myself to not further investigate within me what was it that I was experiencing, but only brush it aside, believe it would ‘go away’ with time, thinking that I simply had to just breathe through it and not look as myself, my own creation, my own reflection– which is another way of simply trying to cover up my actual experience by creating another ‘state of being,’ which would compensate the inherent inner experience of there being something ‘nagging’ within me that I apparently could not ‘define,’ with a positive experience as righteousness.

I realize that I did this without realizing that it was in fact the beingness of myself that was not being looked at in fact as the actual thoughts, backchat and internal conversations that I would righteously believe were ‘right’ and a proper ‘assessment’ of reality, never ever considering how everything that I was thinking and creating an experience about, was never about the environment but it was always about myself only.

 

When and as I see myself going into this ‘nagging/ discomfort’ within myself in my every day living – no matter where or with whom – I stop and I breathe – I realize that there is Something going on that Must Not be just ignored, as it is actually an indication that I’ve been thinking about something and not wanting to look at it, as that would mean actually facing the reality of myself as the thoughts, ideas, projections that I usually participate in, but that I had righteously believed is ‘proper’ and ‘acceptable’ for me to just ‘let be’ and continue going. I realize that All thoughts, All backchat, All experience that I might initially see as ‘indefinable’ actually has a beginning/ a starting point Within/ As Me that I must work with within myself to actually face the reality that I’ve become, instead of wanting to brush it off/ leave it for later and believe it is Not-important, while it is in fact in those seemingly ‘unimportant moments’ that the key to get to know the exact detail of myself really resides in.

 

I commit myself to stop brushing aside, leaving for later the immediate self-investigation through writing, self forgiveness, self corrective application about an inner experience that I have generally defined as ‘nagging/ bothering’ which has remained undefined due to me not having deliberately worked with such experiences as an active part of my process out of Fearing seeing the reality of myself, but only believe that it will go away eventually by simply ‘not participating’ – I realize that One cannot just ‘not participate’ in it and believe it will go away, but see that if it is Here and coming up within me as an energetic experience – no matter how slight it may be – it is still indicating a point that I have to look at.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately diminish the actual inner experience that I termed as just ‘undefined/ bothering/ nagging’ experience as this ‘something’ that would eventually go a way and within this diminishment, creating further separation to see myself As that experience, because of the fear of looking at myself As such thoughts, experiences and assessments, without realizing how it is time to start digging into the ‘hidden corridors and dark places’ as I was suggested to do years ago in order to no longer be bound to a barrier that I’ve created toward what I see within myself and what I see ‘toward others’ as separate from me. Thus it is to realize that everything that I have held as a limitation toward Life in Equality as Evil, as the reverse of life – which includes morals, beliefs, ideas, preferences, judgments, backchat toward ‘others’ and reality as a whole – is what I have to take back to self, in order to stop projecting a point of separation through an assessment in my mind instead of taking responsibility for myself As it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an identity of ‘righteousness’ within my mind assessments wherein within allowing such experiences, backchat and ‘views’ upon reality became a way to also ‘slip in’ points of personality and the self religion that are the threads that are still binding me to that single aspect of myself that is not yet standing as an equal and one part that I have walked through a process of self forgiveness and self corrective application – thus in essence, still keeping some ‘Evil’ as the reverse of life for the benefit of who I am as the mind, leaving it ‘untouched’ as if it had to be ‘there’ for the benefit of my own self-believed righteousness that cannot obviously make sense other than keeping me bound to a limited existence as the mind only and not being willing to stand in the face of the ‘opposite’ as myself as well.

 

When and as I see myself becoming righteous about what I am thinking and experiencing and believing that I can just ‘let it be’ for the moment and only later on end up forgetting it, I stop and I breathe. I realize that the specificity with which I have to become aware of myself is now requiring me to not just ‘leave things for later/ aside’ whenever the least energetic experience is Here as an indication that there is a point to work with, which will be mostly regarding something that is still an aspect I have not dared to look within myself, because of having lived a life of constantly projecting/ assessing/ analyzing others without seeing how it all was in fact about myself.

 

I realize the nagging experience has been going through quick processes of assessing the moment as people, places, events, situation wherein I quickly ‘make up my mind’ about who I am within such experiences/ moments and within that, not allowing me to see that everything that I have in fact assessed is only revealing me to myself, as it cannot be ‘how things are’ when getting an experience out of it – thus it is to not look at it as separate from me, as this is the grave mistake that I’ve made and lived as the evil wherein I had washed my hands from ‘assessing’ reality, while neglecting the fact that I have to work with the point myself in order to then be aware of ‘who I am’ as such point, walk the correction and as such, be able to support myself and others equally not from the vantage point of simply judging, but identifying who am I within this assessment, what is my experience, walk the correction so that I can stand clear and self directive instead of reacting to my own suppressed patterns and projecting it onto others/ reality.

 

I realize that the most effective way to walk this process is always taking the points back to self in order to see if there is any experience coming up and within this, being willing to face Within Me that which I thought, believed or consider ‘does not exist in me,’ which is a defense mechanism of the mind in order to remain in a righteous position about myself in reality, which can only exist as ego.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in this prefabricated/ default position of being ‘good/ right’ and always having the ‘right assessment’ over myself and reality wherein anything/ anyone that may contradict so would be assessed as them speaking of their own weakness, without realizing that such weakness and assessment to ‘win over’ the situation is in fact the aspects that stand as the evil that do not allow ourselves to get to an equal agreement of how to proceed/ work as equals in order to coexist within principles that are best for all, instead of creating further conflict and hidden judgment and accumulation of experiences Toward other beings, simply because of not allowing ourselves to let go of the righteousness that is indicating the ego of the mind of ‘always being right’ as opposed to walking in humbleness which means being willing to face ourselves as the actual evil-assessment/ backchat/ thoughts toward an event, person/ situation to in fact see what it is that we are still playing out as a character that always wants to win/ be right / get the most out of a situation, which is always the aspect that leads to an unequal result.

 

When and as I see myself being righteous about a position without taking the necessary moment to bring the point back to myself, place myself in the shoes of the person/ situation, realize who I am within it and how I can direct it to an equal and one outcome that will always result in what’s best for all.

 

I commit myself to realize that whenever I am making an assessment of my reality is an actual mirror of myself and what I am existing as, and as such, if this assessment contains an energetic experience/ possession about something or someone, it is indicating that I am not yet standing clear as one and equal to the point, but that I require to first look at myself as such assessment, walk the necessary self forgiveness in order to realize that the experience is not about the being/ situation/ event in itself, but it’s actually myself and an indication that I require to take responsibility for my reaction/ experience before allowing myself to make a decision on how to direct myself. Within this is to ensure that I take the necessary moment/ time for this, instead of wanting to immediately come up with a solution that is also part of the ego-rushing desire to do things right away/ immediately which leads to further time loops is there is not an ability yet to see directly in an equal and one consideration of the situation/ people/ event.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in a constant denial of these ‘assessments’ made toward other beings being in fact only about myself and within this, believing that I had nothing to ‘do about it’ because it was apparently ‘not me’ – however, it is actually an indication of the self-righteousness that exist toward our identification with our thoughts/ experiences having a ‘right to exist’ instead of realizing that as long as I am taking a position that is only benefitting my own deliberate neglect to who I am as my mind, I am in fact not standing equal and one to my reality/ environment and require to take the point back to self, to ensure that I am actually seeing Myself first, correcting me first instead of immediately projecting it onto others to not do the process of self-correction myself, which is rather foolish when looking at it as is.

 

When and as I see myself denying seeing myself within every single thought and experience that I have projected onto others – I stop and I breathe – I realize that who I have become is nothing else but the accumulation of these thoughts and experiences that I have projected onto others in means of defending myself as my own mind from realizing that I am in fact all of which I think about ‘others’/ an external point and reality. Thus

 

I commit myself to see how as long as there are points that I am not immediately taking back to self to walk the process of self correction, the nagging experience will continue as it is the accumulation of me having brushed aside/ left for later/ deliberately neglected moments where the actual key to realizing who I am as the person/ environment/ situation exists as myself – this is within the understanding that as long as I hold a right/ wrong and good/bad position toward another, I am still reflecting the limited version of myself that is not yet fully standing equal and one as everything and everyone, no matter how ‘harsh’ or how ‘bad’ or how ‘evil’ it may seem, as it is precisely the harsh, evil, bad, negative, pessimistic aspect that I have projected and dissociated from myself in my mind so as to not have to take responsibility for it – thus I commit myself to take responsibility for every single thought, belief, idea of myself as being ‘right’ and ‘the good person’ at all times with the ‘right judgment’ which leads to a ego position that is not willing to look at ‘the bad/ negative/ pessimistic’ that I must ensure I walk as myself in order to not allow such judgments to stand in the way of becoming a point that is able to stand one and equal to all parts of reality without separation – and this is what it is to be facing the ‘Evil’ as ourselves, as I finally understand that as long as we keep the least idea, belief or perception of something/ someone being a single definition that stands in separation of ourselves as equals, I am part of the separation that maintains this entire world system as is.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the righteousness that I’ve held has been in fact the evil aspect that has refrained me from standing one and equal as everything/ all here, because as long as I hold a value, judgment, belief and thought projected onto others believing that it is not about myself, the righteousness is preventing my own self-understanding/ seeing as one and equal – which indicates the reverse of Live as Evil that must be scrutinized as our own mind which actually allows me to see every moment what is it that I am separating myself from, as these are all indicated through the thoughts, experiences and reactions I hold toward others/ reality which is myself.

 

When and as I see myself believing that I am not responsible for the thoughts that I have because of them being an ‘assessment’ upon others/ reality, I stop and I breathe  I realize that self responsibility for everything we do, say, speak must be absolute so that I can in fact stand as an equal and one part of myself – because as long as a single value, judgment, belief, thought, experience is created upon reality, it indicates that personality/  ego is still being the directive force and not self as the unconditional stance of the physicality that I  am.

 

I commit myself to take the necessary breaths and moment to ensure that whatever I voice/ think and do is standing as an expression of myself that I can stand as for eternity – and that my single belief of this being ‘too far fetched’ to say ‘eternity’ is actually a point of ego that I must also walk through in order to stand as the full authority that I’ve abdicated as part of the evil/ reverse of living that I have believed myself to be wherein I have been limiting my own Write-ousness to right myself as that which I am willing to be/ stand as life/what is here as myself, without the ‘nagging’ limitation of me being only ‘in a process’ and placing the point of self realization as some ‘future outcome’ instead of seeing it as myself, here, as  I breathe, one and equal. 

 

 

Now, this is  a general Self Forgiveness, Self Corrective Application with regards to who I have been as a particular character that would stand as righteous within the ‘good/ positive’ aspect, taking a vantage position within that in order to not have to face every single judgment I made upon others as myself. Thus, the next step and process is to the denial of the evil within my reality and how I would only ‘cope with it’ existing in actual fear to realize that exists as myself as well, also who I am toward the relationships that I formed as a point of attraction due to the separation that I was existing as toward my own ‘evil side’ myself, and as such creating an energetic relationship to it through people/ things/ habits/ places, etc.  in order for me to not have to face it as myself, but always remain on the ‘safe side’ of the observer that is mostly an egotistical position toward our reality, as we cannot claim we are not part of something that is already here as ourselves.

 

Thus, I’ll continue deconstructing the righteousness/ goodness personality in relation to the ‘evil’ projected onto others/ the world instead of seeing it directly first as myself and walking the self correction within it to finally stand as one and equal to all parts and all aspects of myself.

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139. The Commitment to #Live the #Words I Speak

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize how it is that I have lived only as a ‘spokesperson’ as the limited version of myself, the frightful and judgmental version of ‘who I am’ as my mind, which has never ever supported the expression of life as who I am.

When and as I see myself taking a moment to think my expression, I stop and I breathe – I realize that the words that are here as the expression of who I am as the physical is not to be ‘thought’ and pre-meditated, but to be walked as an actual moment of expression that I can stand as and be accountable for, as it is then words that can testify that which I am willing and deciding myself to be and live as in every moment.

I commit myself to walk myself as my mind, as that point of self-awareness as consciousness to then be in fact able to become aware of myself as the reality of who I am, as the actual ability and capability and potential that I exist as in order to – in every moment – decide to live as that living expression of me as the physical, which implies: no ego Is allowed as no ego can exist in the expression of life in equality, as ego/personality/ any character stands as superior/ inferior in a delusional form of self-abuse toward life.

 

I forgive myself  that I have accepted and allowed myself to  not realize that every moment that I dare to speak as the limited, personalized version of myself as the past of ‘who I as the character that I have become, I am in fact contradicting my decision to live within and as self-honesty in common sense, because I am in one single moment of ‘past-allowance,’ deciding to be the ‘who I am’ as the limited version of myself that is Not standing one and equal as my physical human body, as that which is real and that which functions according to what is best for all at all times.

 

When and as I see myself going into a past-habit of preferences, sayings, movements, gestures and quirks  that I have programmed according to the environment and people as memories in my mind/physical – I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am re-enacting/ re-playing a pattern that I have imposed onto the physical that I am here walking as a point of self correction. Thus I allow myself to immediately stop, realize the correction as breathing and instead speaking in common sense, realizing and accepting the point missed in the moment to then in fact be congruent with the words I speak and the actions I participate in reality.

 

I commit myself to be here in every single moment whenever I am in a ‘comfort zone’ as that environment that I have conditioned a particular form of expression to. Within this it is to take such moments as an actual ‘live moment test’ to see whether I am still subject to the environment, people, places or if I am in fact living the absolute decision to at all times be the expression of who I am as the physical in every moment, wherein who I am is and stands as the actual expression of what which I see and realize is what exists as the expression of what I am here willing myself to live and stand as: equality as life as what’s Best for All, as the practical living, written and ‘doing’ process of ensuring I in fact correct the ‘real nature’ of who I am as my mind, as my own ‘configuration’ that I take self responsibility for.

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not see and realize how within my mind I created different values that I attached/ imposed to flesh and bones according to how I categorized the various and different expressions that exist here in this planet Earth,  just because of seeing them as ‘other species’ that because they could not ‘speak to me,’ I regarded as inferior and as such, remaining within the specicism ‘high ground’ above everything and even other humans beings, which reveals to what extent each one of us became the weapon of our choice to deploy a war toward ourselves/animals/the environment which is how and why we are currently facing the ‘art of our creation’ as the absolute reflection of every single point of self-separation we accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become.

 

When and as I see myself creating the slightest distinction between me and every other particle of everything that is here, I stop and I breathe – I realize that this separation can only exist in my mind as thoughts: instead I realize that who and what we are is one and equal from the very beginning, thus there cannot be anything separate from me and that any judgment I create upon anything/ anyone is only self judgment and a point of separation created by me in my mind, which is what I must take self responsibility for to equalize my expression as the physical that breathes and directs itself to support life in equality.

I commit myself to breathe here and when and while breathing, going correcting every single point wherein I see I am detaching/ separating myself from any other expression that is equally here as myself, that I am aware of or even unaware of which leads to also realizing that the thoughts that I cannot see, I must also take self responsibility for and equalize myself as my mind to be able to stand as the directive principle of who I am in my mind at all times.

 

I see and realize that Self Expression is always that which will enable life to be lived and experienced to the utmost potential and that I cannot speak/ express as life without walking the actual road to live the words I write and speak: this is the process of Self Responsibility, Self Correction and Self-Honesty:  the commitment to birth life from the physical

 

I forgive myself that I have ever accepted and allowed myself to use words to harm, abuse, judge others in separation of myself which I see and realize that implies the actual  ‘opening point’ as self forgiveness that I have missed for a long time, just because of not being self-aware of what I did and created as myself as every single word that I expressed in disregard of who I am as the physical body, as the breaths that I take to enable life to continue as my physical body.

When and as I see myself going ‘too fast’ speaking, I stop and I breathe – I allow myself to bring myself back to the physical to instead of saying a word in an ‘automated/fast mode,’ I give myself that moment to realize that the word that I am about to speak defines what I accept and allow myself to exist as in such moment. Thus, I allow myself to be HERE as breath, talking at the pace of the physical without rushing while speaking, as I see and realize that rushing while speaking is wanting to ‘get a point across’ as in wanting to ‘beat/ gain/ make a point’ the fastest way possible due to the previous associations of ‘fast speed = accuracy’

 

I commit myself to give myself a moment to breathe when expressing myself and communicating, to always ensure that I am aware of the words I speak as the ‘picture’ I decide to paint of and as myself for others and myself to see the world through and as me, which implies that I ensure I no longer paint the same picture over and over and over again, filled with lies, self judgment, blame, guilt, remorse, denigration or anger directed without awareness as I see and realize that we have built the world through the words that we have spoken in separation of ourselves as the physical that is and has Always been here, we just have not lived as one and equal as it.

 

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to ever feel ‘righteous’ to ‘speak my mind’ without awareness/ from the starting point of enhancing my own ego, within he belief that ‘I had the right to express myself,’ never really even understanding what Expression is as I had never considered life in the physical as who I am, but only the ‘who I am’ as the ego of the mind seeking to be fulfilled with a positive experience within the consideration that ‘who I am’ must always ‘defend itself,’ never realizing how in this ‘defense mode’ I only created a battle against myself in the inner and the outer

When and as I see myself going into a ‘righteous expression,’ I stop and I breathe, I ground myself/ humble myself again to see and realize that the moment I am wanting to create a ‘higher’ tonality and expression in my words, I am in fact characterizing the words instead of speaking them here as breath, wherein I can ensure that I am the directive principle at all times of the voice tonality, the speed, the presence of myself as words in expression in all ways.

I commit myself to slow myself down when communicating to not want to ‘say it all at once,’ as life is actually a process that goes breath by breathe – thus I equalize myself as the expression of the physical wherein breath by breath I go integrating myself here to be and become aware of every word I speak being in consideration of who I am and who I am communicating myself with to ensure that an actual understanding takes place, as I see and realize that every word that I speak will resonate within another and that I thus must ensure that I can stand by the words I speak indefinitely, and that the only way to ensure this is if the expression coming out of my mouth is here as the expression of who I am in common sense as the physical – this is the process.

I commit myself to breathe before speaking, as the realization that bringing myself here in/ as the physical is the starting point at all times to ensure the communication as the words I decide to express myself as are in fact the representation/ depicting the realization of who I am as the physical within the consideration of what’s best for all, as Life that is yet to be born here in the physical.

Let’s continue walking.

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Day 57: Fogbound

There are times when we get to know/ understand what’s really going on in the world that it is almost impossible not to be ‘enveloped by a fog’ as if it all seemed too difficult to ever get to solve – and because we cannot see anything clearly, we standstill, we don’t move which is obviously the point to correct here. What I mean here is that I have become used to seeing ‘the whole picture’ – repeat PICTURE – in order to then have this ‘certain outcome’ which would be not living and directing myself as a Self-Willed being, but rather wanting to only attain/ obtain and experience myself in that picture, while missing the actual process to get there, which is the relevant point within this process, understanding Why we are doing this Self-Equality and Oneness Process as Existence: we have never ever lived as Equals, we have only existed as separation and for that, it was about ‘time’ that we got to see the manifested consequences of our inherent separation and now be willing to correct the fuckup from its primordial times. This won’t be an ‘easy-fix’ either, we are walking it the proper way and for that, we are all walking our individual processes where nothing will be initially perfect, because we have never ever directed ourselves to change the very nature of who we are as human beings. I also see that If I had existed 100 years ago and someone would have shown me in Virtual Reality what the world looks like now, I would have also thought that it was ‘impossible’ to get to such point of both the technological advancements/ general ‘picture’ presentation and the obvious consequence of it which is the absolutely horrid scenario of depletion, pollution, poverty and starvation.

 

Fogbound is such a clear word to define what I  experience when watching documentaries that reveal the state of absolute abuse toward the Earth, the Animal Kingdom, the general state of the world, like watching that trilogy of Koyaanisqatsi and not being overwhelmed by everything we’ve done as human beings. These are all mind-experiences and one thing that I learned  yesterday while hearing about Anu and the ‘Failure’ point is that it is definitely comprehensible to give ourselves some air to realize that we have never ever done this before, we have been so secluded in our little bubble wherein there has been no proper equal and one standing  our own mind, to our physical, to this world, to anything or anymore – literally just being mind organic robots and it is really grounding for any speckle of ego to accept this.

 

There are times when we feel ‘stuck’ – again an emotional experience – and that’s because we have been so used to always getting immediate results, having tasks done and completed in a way that we have made this world work as a drive-thru machine that contemplates profit and not life – getting a positive experience out of ‘accomplishing something’ that would make us more ‘worthy/ increase our trading-value’ within a system where all life has been made an asset. We have never slowed down, not in a world where ever decimal fraction of a second is counted to make profit in a production line. We have existed like that Ford T Line Production wherein everyone just focuses on ‘getting their task done’ and earning money for it and call it a job/ working, sometimes never knowing how that assembly process fits within the entire construction of the whole product = absolute alienation that extended beyond the work-job experience, but also within society wherein you earn money – you spend-  you eat- you ‘entertain’ yourself – you create a family – you work until you die – then you die. And repeat the same the next life: nothing else but batteries within this system.

 

What we are doing now is absolutely the opposite of anything capitalism: we are slowing down, we are learning how to care for each other as equals, we are not doing it for any form of ‘profit’ but to create sustainable environments that will sustain/ support many more people willing to support themselves/other as equals – which is like your ‘pay it forward’ movie – we are learning to dissociate from everything that would keep us occupied in our minds: useless thoughts, feelings, emotions, beliefs, opinions that do not stand in the best interest of all life here in/as the physical reality; we are learning how to create relationships/ agreements that are Self-Supportive in the individuality required to stop all forms of co-dependency, instead of following through with the same repetitive short-lived experiences that begin with/ by desires, hopes and dreams that run dry very quickly once the sex is gotten and the money is gone. We are learning to educate ourselves not only in one single ‘field’/specialization of this reality, we are becoming holistic learners of this reality, with the REAL sense of what holistic means because we are getting education that no one has ever received in this world and that is now possible through all the material at eqafe, the Desteni I Process and every single blog, article, interview, post that you may find in all the various places Desteni and Equal Money System are located in the web. To place it shortly: we are learning how to live as Equality of Life for the very first time.

 

If anyone reading this asks themselves: oh but what have we done before then? We have only demoneyzed reality through seeing everything as Money, seeing all that is of the Earth not as unconditional resources that we can use to Live, but as products that we can put price tags on and make them ‘our own’ to sell them to others and make a ‘good business’ out of it. We have only seen convenient relationships to make us ‘feel good’ about ourselves and use that as a way to match it with the elusive desires to ‘make it’ as in being ‘successful’ in a world fabricated and staged to make Every-one seek the same thing, as that is what ‘activates the economy.’

 

 

We had not been living, we had just been killing time and I’ve just ripped of Thom Yorke for that, but it’s true. And before I continue wallowing in such depressive lyrics that would set the tonality for my days – every single day –in the past,  I realize that I can take everything that we have been as an example of what Not to promote in this world, what not to continue perpetuating as ‘culture’ I mean, it is quite obvious now how everything has been intertwined and specifically designed to keep us very busy with our mechanical jobs,  mechanical prayers, mechanical interactions to get our quick fix just like drugs – mechanical family-makings, mechanical pre-fab aspirations and ‘dreams’ – mechanical gatherings where the same mind-bullshit is regurgitated, everyone pursuing the exact same ‘dream’ lol – and mechanical views upon life wherein positivity would mostly shape and mold the feeble minds of ours,because it would create a ‘good will’ feeling wherein we would be willing to do anything to get the necessary money to ‘make our dreams come true.’ And so we turned and turned and turned the wheel until we started realizing that the more we spun it, the more the whales cried because we are depleting the Earth’s resources in the name of such mechanical lifestyle.

 

Sometimes I see that it will be virtually impossible to do this in a lifetime – this is where the ‘fogbound’ point comes in, as it is just ‘too much’ or ‘how the hell are we going to do this? where to begin with?– yet this can only exist if ‘I’ me-myself as the woman here typing is wanting to get to live the results ‘herself’ instead of Hereself. Within this, what I have realized is that I definitely want to be part of the people that are willing to do anything that is required to begin with the transformation that this world requires. I want children to come into this world and Know that there is a group of beings that are working to create the necessary transformations in this world to a Best for All Living-Principled society/ environment.

 

This is how we cannot ‘blame’ our parents or anyone – we have all done it in this mindset of energizer-bunnies that only sought to keep going on and on and on without ever pondering: well, what the hell am I doing this for? what are the consequences of me ‘living’ this way? And anyone that dared to express this and really ponder about it – because there have been several people in the world that genuinely tried to ‘make a difference’ in this world – were eventually subsumed within the entire survival-system or simply exterminated by it, because it was just impossible for one single being to do such changes all alone. This is how it is important to unite as many people as we can, because we realize that it will take a massive amount of people standing within the principle of What’s Best for All in order to work together and really establish what’s been elusively called as ‘Heaven on Earth’ – which I tend to resist saying because I simply don’t know what that would be like. All I get in my mind is this open plain space where the grass is green and there’s a nice breeze of air flowing lol with preferably some clouds and everyone just enjoying themselves –that’s it.

 

So, what I’ve realized is that we cannot be as apprehensive as we have been toward ourselves which has been based within a system wherein any ‘fuckup’ costs money, wherein any failure means you are ‘worthless’ or ‘ruined for life’ – wherein any sense of ‘demotivation’ means you are ready to be replaced by fresh bait/ cannon fodder – depending on the use of work-force in our current system – wherein taking some time off to evaluate yourself, your life and ‘who you are’ means potential realizations coming through, hence ‘providing’ you with all forms of enticing entertainment to make sure you remain stuck desiring sex, money and all the power in the world.

 

What we are learning to do is to not have any sense of ‘loss’ upon mistakes, not judging ourselves when we fuck up, not project our judgments upon others when others do fall and stumble on their own mistakes, because we learn from each other that way as well.  We are learning not to ‘Save the World’ but to be the change it requires, and that implies that it won’t be solved just with a thousand smiles and an 8 digit check for the cause – No. We are learning that our fuckups, mistakes reveal which points we have always missed within this reality, creating the current outcome of a society divided by its own negligence toward each other as Equals. These ‘Fogbound’  moments are here to get to know what is it that is causing such experience, what am I still defining myself according to, what is it that I am expecting to live of myself without realizing that I have Never ever lived before? The trick is to keep breathing, definitely and not to remain ‘still’ for far too long – but to re-assess our application and continue walking. Idleness has been quite a fuckup in my past wherein I get to that ‘giving up’ point in such stagnation and then shift my attention to ‘something else’ that looks like it would require ‘less effort.’ No man, we don’t have plan B’s here. We make it or we die.

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to obfuscate myself with my own thoughts about ‘all that will be required to be done in order to change the world’ wherein I see the ‘bigger picture’ and it just seems ‘too much’ without realizing that this is me only ‘thinking’ about change, but not Being the change that is required, which is not separated from myself as breath here, walking the necessary actions – step by step – to stop such enslaving system within me first, to educate myself, to learn from my own mistakes and failures in order to see what will work for all as equals, what must be corrected in order to ensure that we walk this process once and we do it right.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take ‘failures’ as something personal, wherein I see and realize that I have been conditioned to believe that me not being ‘right’ all the time within this process is a way to reveal to myself how I had only learned how to ‘live’ within a system of values and worth in  separation of who we are as life, wherein any fuckup/ failure/ mistake is punished and means a general ‘devaluing’ process wherein the person is then stigmatized and seen as ‘not worthy’/ not ‘good enough’ without seeing that this is only within the same value-schemes that we have lived as capitalist-minds that never considered the physicality of ourselves, of who we are as life – hence, I stop diminishing myself and opting-myself-out any moment that I fail, that I fall, that I make a mistake and within this stopping all thoughts associated with ‘giving up’ and seeing everything as ‘impossible’ or ‘too much’ because: this is only a mind-generated mechanism wherein it is simpler to just ‘go with the flow’ of the current world which is a statement of not really being willing to do this for ourselves As ourselves as the potential living-beings that we all are.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to impose the same judgments upon myself, the world and others that have stemmed from the past as all the limitations we have imposed onto ourselves due to our very own thinking-processes with which we have devalued ourselves in a way that is not at all originating from Life itself, but only our self-deprecating minds that are used to giving up any moment that a single obstacle is existent in our reality.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a failure, which is only in accordance to the necessary step for me to see that everything that we had only ‘maintained’ was a system of abuse, limitation, fears, judgments, opinions and beliefs upon life, but never Life itself. Therefore, the realization that every attempt to ‘live’ that is not in accordance to what is best for all coming to an obvious failure is necessary in order to establish our starting-line as the starting-point of self creation within the necessary principle that had never been considered/ contemplated in reality which is Equality as Life.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as apathy when seeing things as pointless, useless or without any definitive ‘result’ that I have been used to obtaining to declare that something ‘works/ doesn’t work’ in a short period of time, I realize that patience is required for me to understand that it will take as much time I spent on creating myself to correct and re-create myself and this world within a clear starting point of what’s best for all. Therefore I see, realize and understand that apathy is just another way to loop-around the ‘known me’ that preferred the comfort of ‘not giving a fuck’/ not doing anything to challenge the belief of ‘who I am’ which is what must be stopped within me as it is only consisting of thoughts, emotions and memories that are Not who I am here.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having ever feared ‘making mistakes’ and ‘fucking it all up’ based on that meaning that I would no longer be valuable/ worthy, ‘trust worthy’ for anyone, without realizing that I had not even developed my own self-trust as life itself, but only as knowledge and information that I acquired to define myself as a ‘confident’ and ‘secure’ person, while in fact none of us have ever actually lived self-trust as life, which is living as breath, physically here and realizing and understanding that any sense of ‘security’ comes as the current status of ourselves being well fed, having a place to live and having comfort and even luxuries that have made our life this comfortable pillow to lay upon while the rest of our existence as this world is obviously not having the same as we do at the moment. Hence the importance of developing this actual CARE as in seeing what we Are/ have become and understanding that ‘them’ is ourselves’ and if we don’t do this for ourselves first, we won’t  do it for anything/ anyone else. Because we had been training ourselves to only see for our own survival and look after our own ownerships and benefits and satisfactions that were based upon the same system that must be debunked in order to re-establish the real values based upon Life itself, which is currently Non-existent and must be Self-Created as the Self-Willed realization that there won’t be any ‘profit’ made form it, other than actual solid and stable foundations to support each other as Equals, which will be in the end the ultimate ever-lasting reward-system that will not be based upon Abuse, but Equality as Life.

 

“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to no realize that judgment is the Experience of the Past confirming that Life is Not Here, as the Experience of Energy Resulted in actions and Consequence of Energy Self-Interest that Crossed the Line of Dividing Life into Past, Present  and Future – turning Life into the Fiction of Experience of Energy that is Desire, Perpetuating the Desires till Death as Crucifixion. Thus, unless one Die Alive and End the Addiction to the Experience of Energy as the False Image of Self, Death Ends the Experience as the Opportunity to Be Life is No More. Thus, consider Rebirth as the End of Energy and Not the Purification of Energy as All experience as Energy is Always just the Past Repeating itself – and unless the Past is Over, Life will not Be Born from the Physical as What is the Same Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow.” Bernard Poolman *

 

I commit myself to stop within my mind this experience of being ‘fogbound’ wherein everything seems hazy and not clear enough for me to ‘know’ where to direct myself, which is a knowledge point and not a self-movement realization wherein we understand that there is no ‘ready-made picture’ that I can look at and walk this process to ‘get there,’ but actually see/ realize and understand that we are actually walking this process as we live day by day wherein knowledge and information as pictures or ideals to obtain do not exist, but only a principle is certain: Equality as Life.

 

I commit myself to not give into this ‘standstill’ moments wherein I believe that I have the ‘right’ to not do anything for a moment, without realizing that this is another form of ‘freechoice’ and ‘freewill’ that is embedded within the individualism that we have propagated as a ‘way of living’ in this world, which keeps us bound to the same separation that is generating the current world system we’re living. Therefore, I realize, see and understand that I must keep in mind that this is an existential process wherein I stand as a self-willed part/ particle as part of the equation that requires us all to be a part of in order to establish what’s best for all life.

 

I commit myself to see and realize that only wallowing in my mistakes, failure and self-deprecation is essentially self-interest as I am only considering ‘Me’ in this experience that is, obviously, self-created while in fact saying a big ‘fuck you’ to everything/ everyone else because: if I am not willing to do this as myself within the realization that doing it for me in Equality as What’s Best for All = doing it for All in Equality, I won’t be willing to ever live, as simple as that and I would only confirm that the mind wins, that I am incapable of changing myself and remain stuck in my own bubble until it dries and I die.

 

I commit myself to support myself with writing, self-forgiveness, self corrective application to re-settle myself within the understanding of what is it that I am doing this for, and not create a point of separation from that ‘outcome’ and ‘purpose’ outside of myself, but realize it As myself in every moment – hence understanding that me giving-up-on-myself is essentially me confirming that I am a mind-system that cannot possibly get out of the traps of the mind specifically set and designed to maintain ourselves in these individual-egotistical stances that have never cared or even considered Life in Equality as who we really are.

 

When and as I see myself standing-still within this fog that I create as this experience within and as my mind when seeing the reality that we have become and the extent of changes and corrections required in this world, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am projecting this as a ‘wholeness’ that seems like ‘too much’ and it is IS if I only considered ‘myself’ as my own limited mind to assess our abilities and capabilities, because I see and realize that who we are as the mind is a limitation in itself and won’t be able to ‘grasp’ our ability to function in Equality because the mind in itself is programmed, designed in order to only function as an individual – therefore I realize that being ‘fogbound’ is the same as getting into a ‘cannot compute’ experience that I can transcend within taking a deep breath, bringing myself here to stop the overwhelming thoughts and re-mind myself that I am learning how to live for the very first time as a physical time-space living being that won’t get any quick-fixes and immediate results, but that is walking this process as I walk and live day by day until it is done.

 

We cannot intellectualize this process, it is walked as we breathe.

 

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2012 Physical Incorporated

The extent of separation that we have lived in separation from our very physical body is absolutely abhorring.

One single eye twitch and we can know that we are activating an entire network of self created relationships that we have participated in a continuous period of time, in relation to the past that we re-create here when we impose our ‘human nature’ as an experience toward others. One single eye twitch and hours of explanations that blew my mind for the while wherein I just realized how much I have disregarded my physical body. I mean, before I had thought that eye twitching was lacking potassium or some other mineral. What we haven’t even realized is how such minerals and physical energy is actually drained by the mind, and that is blood-curdling enough to realize that science fiction was never that far from Reality.

 

Writing is the structuring of self, as that which we will live by, as a new living direction that we all have to do for ourselves – this entire process depends on our individual participation – common sense: we are all here walking the same process and no one can walk each other’s mind for another.

 

While walking and hearing all of this, I noticed I probably had a face of being absolutely astounded to see how much we have neglected our human physical body. It is the most obvious point that we have missed, and it could not be any ‘further away’ in relation to how we are living at the moment, running around in circles in a conscious layer while not being able to be fully aware of ourselves Here as the Physical Body.

 

I mean, how come we never questioned the fact that we could not be aware of all the processes that go on within our body, how the blood runs through our veins, being aware of every breath and instead live as a constant threat toward our own life, ‘killing us slowly’ by draining life to support our most elaborate mindfucks.  Why is it that I am not able to see ‘This’ that I am existing as? Sure, our eyes of the mind only allow us to consciously look at ‘how we look’ – and, what did we do with it? We remained in that ‘how we look’ and made of ourselves an absolute 2 dimensional picture presentation of ourselves – it is abhorring to see to what extent we have neglected every single breath that has kept our ego running ‘alive.’

 

The fact that I can be grateful for is having the tools and the support to, for the very first time in my existence – be able to have all of this material and tools to support myself. I mean, we literally Do have everything on a golden platter, every single detail to the T of how we have created ourselves. We wanted to be gods yet remained in a closed polarity reality, switching off and on like a binary signal – definitely limited. I can only see how everything that I ever ‘thought’ I would ‘lose’ of myself was absolute bs that has, literally, no substance other than the one I gave to my thoughts to ‘live.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use and drain the very life substance that I exist as in the name of keeping my mental-reality ‘alive,’ while not being even aware of every breath that I take to do so.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define me and diminish who I am to a single picture presentation as a two dimensional reality that I have lived as my mind, as thoughts, feelings, emotions, conversations wherein I schemed a ‘life’ that ‘I’ could only get the most benefit from.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to never question the fact that I could not be aware of my physical body as the actual ability to see how I am actually existing as, and abdicating my seeing-reality to a limited system wherein I have accepted and allowed myself to be self-enslaved to a series of experiences, emotions and feelings that I believed was ‘all there is’ to living, while neglecting my very own physical body in its entirety while focusing on chasing after an experience and pretend to be alive.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel ashamed of myself for having always remained within a limited idea, belief and perception of myself and never having dared to question who am I really, and how it is that I relegated my own physical body to being a ‘nuisance’ to myself, never really ever considering how separate and oblivious to my very own physical body I have actually being throughout my life.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that who I am as my thoughts could be the key to seeing and realizing the actual nature of myself, instead of seeing it as a limited and constricted program to which I thought I had ‘nothing to do with.’ Oh man, was I wrong.

 

I Forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to for the first time realize the extent to which I had lived only within my mind, seeking for experiences while neglecting the actual self-consumption, self abuse and self destruction that exists as a continual process every moment that I ‘give in’ to thinking, to feeling, to keeping myself busy with some internal conversation that has No physical relation to what Is HERE as myself.

And by HERE as myself it is realizing the extent to which I have abdicated my entire responsibility to an automated system wherein I could just ‘rejoice’ and do nothing, other than continuing wishing and hoping while neglecting the actual abuse that I was/ and still am inflicting to every single cell and atom within my physical body, by the single act of engaging into an emotional experience created at a mind level.

Because we cannot see it, because we cannot feel it, it doesn’t mean that it is not happening. And it is only ourselves that veiled ourselves from seeing.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear for the very first time seeing the actual nature to which I am consuming myself and the reality that is here as me by my own participation in the mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ponder an emotion, a feeling, a single energetic kick above every single breath that I have abused to power my ego-trips. I stop any judgment that comes with this as there is no point in making it more than what I have already done and become – I can only direct myself to establish myself to accept myself – the consequences of what I have become and walk the process that is here for me to finally be HERE as my physical body.

 

It is absolutely unacceptable how we go throughout our days, judging ourselves, our physical bodies for absolute bullshit while not being able to remember or even see how we are consuming the very life that keeps our judgments alive.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for having sustained a lifetime of mindfucks alive with my every breath. Double judgment is always a double-mindfuck and it all must stop here.

 

So – we realize points, it is shocking yes – the most prominent reaction I had was when realizing to what extent we have kept us ‘living’ in this reality, absolute robots circling around our conscious mind  – and then came the realization that there is an entire process to walk, I mean, we are so far from actually ‘getting here’ that just a single twitch in our body is and has been an indication of to what extent we are feeding our own mind-assessments that we have abdicated life, the physical reality to.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to reduce the physical life and reality that I am to a single thought, a single experience, a single energetic fix that creates a sensation that comes and goes just as it started – it cannot be real – how can it?

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  to separate myself from all parts that conform who I am as the physical and believing that ‘who I am’ only exists as the idea of ‘myself’ within ‘my mind.’ How ludicrous, I breathe and I realize that I can only direct myself to establish myself here, willing to walk my mind, taking responsibility for every single thread that I have created in separation of myself as a mind system that consumes the physical life that is here.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to having lived a life of absolute self-interest wherein I took for granted every single process that my human physical body does in order to keep me alive. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate me-from-me by opting to believe that living was an experience.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live a surrogate ‘living’ as the mind, as that comfortable limited experience wherein I did not have to see the truth of myself and where I neglected the very physicality that I exist as, relegating it to a second plane that I could only use to sell myself as an image, as a single picture presentation while neglecting the very life that exists in every pore that holds me.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to reduce life to being a business, a single corporation wherein I could remain as the eternal CEO believing to have ‘power’ over myself, without even realizing that I am not even aware of the very process that every breath that I take creates within my physical body.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a dependency to create an experience out of my every day living and breathing here – giving up my own physical living to a mono-reality wherein all that I confined myself to experience is myself as a mind, with constant thoughts while neglecting the totality that is here as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take for granted the very cells that conform ‘who I am’ as a physical body. What does it mean to stand equal to and as my cells? That will only be lived, but for now I see that the least thing I can do to honor the life that I am by stopping using/ abusing it to feed my mental realms of self-judgment as a continuous self-righteous act upon the physical.

We have judged dictators, ‘powerful people’ abusing others to get to a certain position, while neglecting that we have and are doing the very same thing toward our physical bodies, using it and abusing it to keep our delusions of power as our ego-trips wherein we ‘believe’ that we are ‘above it all.’

How wrong have we been.  This is only as scratch on the surface.

 

I can only  renew my vows to live here and actually do so – I am aware of the consequences that we are facing for not having realized this before, it is definitely the least thing we can do here, to face the consequences for having separated ourselves from our very own physical body, from life by transforming it into a single shallow experience.

Everything is in constant movement inside ourselves, how come we have claimed we could be ‘still’- it is only a stillness of the mind that can exist! have a ‘look’/ physical-experience within yourself: blood is constantly flowing and endless processes are going on.

 

When and as I see myself worrying about some bs story in my mind, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am neglecting the very breath that is keeping my blood running and focus on realizing how it is that every breath is allowing me to give the next step to ‘enjoy myself’ while walking. lol how fun will it be to be able to finally be here, like literally realizing that all our ‘loneliness’ ideas is simply because of having existed as a mind system seeking for another mind system to talk to – neglecting every single cell that we could actually communicate to as ourselves – here – and to everything else. How could you ever get to feel ‘alone’ if we are actually in fact all that is here?

Some necessary buckets of cold water to realize how attentive we must be when walking this process – to never ‘lose sight’ of what is it that we are in fact doing here: walking out of the mind and into the physical.

 

I cannot say anything else other than give yourself the opportunity to investigate Desteni, the current interviews which have been like fire to melt down any little effigy I could have created of myself. I realize to what extent and with what ease we can recreate the same old patterns by simply giving into it again. It is also great because I see and realize there is no other way I could have ever faced myself.

 

Facing, walking the mind is having to let go of the greatest addiction that we have ever created, an addiction fed and sustained by life – how can we dare to judge a single point of abuse if we are doing this to ourselves every single moment that we are not HERE breathing?

I’ll stop here for now.

Thanks for breathing.

 

Read and realize many more points with and through Bernard’s words:

Give yourself the gift to understand who you really are as Life:


2012 The Living ‘I’ Organism = 1+1

The need to redefine and reform society stems from our current experience within this world-system being sunk in a seemingly unstoppable downward spiral, wherein the unification of man attempted throughout time, has always been tainted by the nature of our own mindfulness which stood on the way to create an actual best for all outcome within the consideration of the whole as one and equal.

 

Society is created by each individual – we are the system – and by creating an actual sense of neighborism and compassion, within the understanding that we function as an organism wherein all parts are equally regarded for its proper functionalism, we can direct ourselves to then establish the necessary understanding through education about the power that each individual holds to create an overall reform within the current system.  This is then to the best interest of all as our current global crisis in all aspects of reality – individual and social – are revealing the institutions that govern the world are simply outdated. And no, the reform and re-direction required won’t come from your current political parties, social enterprises. This solution entails much more than being able to vote for blue or red or green or red – this system must be transformed at an individual level.

 

We live in violent times wherein the wounds from the past don’t seem to heal, but only get worse as we start realizing and discovering about the lies that we have lived as the current seemingly ‘stability’ that has been pending from one single thread, backed up by and within the delusional monetary system that is ruling over everyone, regardless. We require to heal ourselves first to heal the world, and there is no shaman required to do this: each one of us can do this for ourselves.

 

After we’ve lived  allowed ourselves to fuel our ‘lives’ with lies and abuse, thinking without ever considering the consequences, acting out of reaction, exerting our righteousness with no regard of the words we speak, it is shocking to say the least how we actually always knew what we were doing, but we simply didn’t stop ourselves from taking a moment to breathe and re-consider what words we are about to utter and our starting point for it.

 

We are all aware of these fleeting moments wherein we attempt to ‘have a good time’ yet in the back of our head there’s only dissatisfaction with self and the world, and no matter how much we attempt to show the world a smiley face, it’s just not congruent to the experience within.

 

So far, the only way that I have been able to heal myself – slowly but surely – is through Self Forgiveness. The moment we realize that we have a second chance and actually understand what this entails, you take a stand, I vowed myself to live because I saw there was nothing further down the bottom line. The point that is always feared is risking it all for something that you cannot be certain of, because life is not knowledge, life cannot be proven or shown ‘on paper’ –  not even with  words: they must be Lived.

 

My interpretation of the eye of the needle is having to let go of everything we have ever been till this day and be willing to walk myself as the ‘I’ that will finally remove de dot on top of the i  and place it ! to see everything from a different perspective. Willing to apparently ‘give up’ this idea  of ourselves, which is giving  death to the old for the new to emerge. This didn’t seem like a ‘nice idea’ in the beginning where fears to ‘lose myself’ were still prominent. Yet once I understood how we can only fear losing that which has not been real anyways, it’s been a point that makes me glad, because I realized that I no longer have to be bound to all of these ideas and judgments and tight-restrictions to ‘who I am’ because as an individual and as this entire world-system.  How can we be so afraid to let go of that which is mostly holding us down? We’ve definitely developed a masochistic relationship with our minds wherein the idea of suffering, pain, misery become ‘enjoyable’ experiences in some twisted way – still experiences, mind generated that requires to be constantly reinforced just as we require money to keep living.

 

These energetic systems are able to be reformed if we all consider the potential each one of us holds as an active participant within this world. After all, isn’t this the solution that we all sought for? Being able to be supported to live, develop self-trust and compassion for another wherein true-relationships of self-understanding can emerge – imagine no more counterfeit, blackmailing and having to cheat in order to make a living. The ties that keep the system in place are currently existent within each one of us. There is a way out, a revolutionary way that is often feared, simply because of how unorthodox is may seem. Yet our ‘rights’ have been ‘wronged’ all the way – so, what is there to actually fear?

Nothing.

 

 

If we fear losing the idea of ourselves, what do we know? Have a look at what kept us ‘away’ from such ideas – we dubbed them as ‘dreams’ and ‘utopia’ because that’s exactly what we were Taught to Think-like in this current world system. That’s why all our information industry is based on diverting our attention from actually considering that: we are all suffering, we are all living in survival mode – so why on Earth do we continue like this? Who has been in ‘control’ of it all always?

 

The truth is that the potential won’t be ‘unleashed’ unless we direct ourselves to do so. Just ponder how it is that we have really limited and diminished ourselves to not recognize that we can in fact expand and develop ourselves beyond the limitations of our own mind. The fact that we accepted and allowed such points of distraction to obfuscate our basic ability to analyze our situation, to not ponder ‘why we are stuck in this black-hole’ is already an indication of the obvious acceptance to our own self-imposed limitations – not to mention that over 90% of the world is in some form of drug-  if not everyone because even thinking becomes an energetic fix to divert our attention from our physical beingness here-as-breath.

 

To get to this point, we all had to first try out the seemingly ever tempting ‘fruits of the tree’ and then letting go of it – it is within realizing that we have developed such an obsessive-manner of living that we become fixated on ‘one single point’ and forget about the rest of reality that is HERE, probably pondering where and how on Earth we have gotten to reduce ourselves to a single experience? That should be physical abuse as well, yet we haven’t dared to call it for what it is because we are always preferring to externalize our self-responsibility to ‘others’ in our world.

 

“Between birth and death, human beings have collective work to do on Earth”
Joseph Beuys

 

We are able to stop lying to ourselves by our own volition to do so. We walk the individual process beginning with ‘cutting of all ties’ within a process of Self-Support to ensure that we do not only just stop participation in our lives, but we actually walk a process of assessing which aspects are required to be re-defined, corrected and aligned to the principle that we establish as the law of our being: Equality as Life.

 

Through applying Self-Forgiveness  we give ourselves a second chance to live. We realize that we don’t have to go carrying our past, our guilt, deeds, quirks secrets and this entire world system of abuse, violence and corruption as an ever-present hunting shadow that becomes the default experience within ourselves. We can de-fault ourselves by forgiving ourselves and start over again. What a better ‘gift’ you can give you to yourself than for-giving our negligence toward ourselves and all living participants within the world– What is it that I give to myself?

 

  • The opportunity to live and be self-directive beings for the first time in our existence.

  • The ability to develop our expression and creativity to the utmost potential

  • The  decision  to stand equal to everything and everyone in this reality that I had absolutely neglected as an equal in the past

  • The opportunity to ‘clean my wounds’ that are here as the accumulation of everyone that has gone before me

  • The recognition and realization that everything that I ever sought for has always been Here as myself

  • The capability to participate in the creation of a world system wherein each individual is equally participant and aware of the benefits that working as an actual collective brings.

  • The ability to stop living in survival mode and spend our time developing our expression wherein we will no longer be bound to the constrictions that we are currently calling ‘a living.’
    .

And a long list ensues when looking at the social-implications of it as a collective.

 

You might now realize who this is in fact the most revolutionary message we have gotten in our society, taken to a global level thanks to the e-social networks that we have now  to establish communication with people around the world, which means that the national-identification is, slowly but surely, breaking off in order to establish the basic foundation of what living by-principle actually implies.

 

Of course all of this requires our commitment to do this for ourselves, as ourselves as the whole. We must get out of our own limitations and fears that only tamper our ability to see the actual potential that each one of us holds in every single breath that we are here, committing egocide in the name of Life.

 

And for that, I give myself the only ‘reason’ to live which is self-here- equal and one, I allow myself to see beyond the current limitations of the mind to realize and take into consider-action that I hold the power of change in every breath that I am here. I realize that the definition of society begins with my self equality and oneness to then, understand society as the extension of self as individuals that stand in an equal-participation and understanding of how we function as an organism wherein no parts can be ‘greater than’ as that would mean cancer in the organism/ body, nor can anyone be ‘less than’ as that would also cause disease.

 

Only in self-equality can we get to realize what thriving actually is as a whole in this world. First step is Self-  then, we take over the world – and for that we require to stand up one by one – if you hear and see the importance of the following, join Desteni

 

“Ponder the I
in consciousness called the I AM
this is the I of the needle
as Earth is the EYE of the universe
the creator is the I of the Beholder
eye of the beholder
that is how I create in consciousness — and all I create as consciousness always return to dust
this I — yet to be born by “self” is quite something –as in a way the being stands as pure I — no programming as starting point –yet is all that is consciousness — obviously — what is not consciousness — is to the perceiver/interpreter/mind/I am/being — nothing — as the being is only what the EYE/mindseye see
the closest to what is real — is what the eye see– judgment comes from the secret I — the secret mind — that is who the being really is–and is what is to be given up –forever –with absolute certainty — no doubt ever — to be able to see with the I that is LIFE– because then LIFE see direct as I – I direct — no proof possible — because the Mindseye that wants proof — is temporary — and thus has no value what so ever”

Bernard Poolman 

 

 

“[Joseph] Beuys argued that the key to survival was in the collective transformation of the “social organism.” For him, communication between the domains of the spiritual and the earthly were primary to cultural regeneration.”

Desteni is the bridge between both realms.

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