Tag Archives: psyche

162. Either Do it or DIE

I had a dream wherein I had applied for a job at a record store, and I was given a certain schedule that I of course had to cover. However I was rather entertained in my reality with something else, I remember I was interacting or moving around with people and as such when the time came for me to go cover my job schedule, I simply decided not to go and the reason in this case was because ‘I didn’t require the money,’ thus I experienced this absolute laxity toward the point of responsibility simply because I was not being guided by survival to do it, which is something that I can see is related to the motivation/ motive-factor as that energetic point that acts like a crutch for me to move.

The stagnation and deliberate shoving away of responsibilities is part of this point. I’ve lost the ‘fear’ to not do things and within this, I have self sabotaged myself extensively, simply because all the ‘discipline’ that I had lived was in fact only based on fear and keeping up a reputation that in my mind, I could not ‘afford’ to spoil for one second.

When the characters were identified, in my mind I created this point of laxity toward responsibilities, like literally only doing it at the last moment and essentially justifying it – foolishly enough – with me no longer acting out of fear to get things done, but ‘testing my waters’ in relation to my own ‘self-movement’ once that such fear is apparently non existent. And I say ‘apparently’ because it is quite obvious how I actually only turned the tables and went to the opposite of being the ‘on time responsible one’ to be a deliberate procrastinator one. This was all done consciously/ me being aware of it, and the only point that I can see has factored into it is this ‘force’ wherein I have opted to simply give myself away to it and continue placing things aside, postponing it all simply because I don’t perceive such points getting done within a matter of life or death. This reveals to what extent we have only moved when there is either a positive or negative reward and in my case, in the dream, the ‘record store job’ I had always kept in the past as this ‘dream like job’ – even if I am now aware it is not ‘dream-like’ at all – as something that I would do out of pleasure and that was going to apparently only be like an extended hobby. So, in the dream when it came to actually cover my hours, I decided to simply not go and take it as lightly as possible, simply because there was no point ‘behind’ it that was pushing me to do it, to move.

 

The same has happened in many ways within my reality wherein I actually dislike the fact that we have to be threatened in one way or another to move, however even after knowing this, we simply don’t do it.  The words ‘What’s the benefit in it?’ is what comes to mind when looking at ‘points I have to do’ which implies that within such cases I am still ‘expecting’ something good or even something bad coming out of it, and this ‘jaded’ attitude toward consequences is actually another way to not take responsibility for the points that are simply not being done/ not given direction, wherein it is obviously a non-doing situation that cannot possibly be without ‘an experience’ as it is perceived in my mind. I see and realize that it actually has taken quite a hold of myself due to my own deliberate shoving-aside of things that I know I have to do, but I am not doing.

So, the dream revealed to me this aspect of ‘necessity’ to do things out of survival – such as a job- while also deliberately neglecting the compromise I had made to actually do the job, which is something that is ‘so unlike me’ in terms of how I used to function in the past as the character of being a responsible person, whereas now that such point is not so automated or triggered out of fear, I see that it is definitely a point of ‘If I don’t change and if  I don’t move, nothing will change and nothing will move.’

We got it all in words, I got all the tools, I realize and see the point – so what is this deliberate mindfuck that I’m playing onto myself? Not doing something out of thinking of the future consequences of it, of the actual time that it would take, of the reviews and criticism that it will take, of the several bureaucratic processes that I am supposed to go through, of all the times that I would have to re-write the damn thing, and within that I see how I have in fact squandered more time when deliberately pushing aside this whole thing believing that somehow it could magically be ‘overlooked’ which is ludicrous and fantastic to my awareness at this very moment, how far I have deluded myself.

For all actions and inactions there’s a consequence – in my dream I did not get to see the point of not showing up for my job, but I can see how as long as ‘my life didn’t depend on it,’ I would unlikely take it serious, which is absolutely unacceptable, as I had made a contract/ commitment to actually do it, regardless of the money-made and my actual need for it, as well as it being supposed to be this ‘job’ that I liked/ wanted to get at some point early on in my life, which also indicates how we can brainwash ourselves to the utmost degree and believe that we ‘got it all covered,’ and when the seemingly petty points emerge, we can in fact realize that such seemingly ‘small decisions’ turn into massive balls of snow that grow and grow the more time keeps rolling.

And this point of consequence can also be observed within the relationship with time and procrastination, how we literally enslave ourselves to this ‘time frame’ wherein actual fear is being built toward the point, unnecessarily so, but because of the amount of energy as resistance/ procrastination that’s been created, we in fact develop it all into this massive ball that is nothing else but our own creation. And this is where in my mind, as the ego, would have wanted to blame it onto everyone else but myself, which is obviously something that cannot possibly exist any further within me.

 

Postponement:  this Force as ourselves as the Mind operate – where in a moment, our habitual Personality would activate and then this Force would be that “physical experience” within oneself of REALLY not WANTING to push through the Personality pattern/habit, but rather continue following the habitually patterned thoughts/internal conversations and behaviour – essentially in that moment the Mind/Consciousness as ourselves as the accepted and allowed self-defined Personality we’ve become, force ourselves into and as Mind-Submission, giving up on ourselves and the opportunity we would have had in that moment if one had simply taken a breath and committed self to the decision of change/realisation and physically, practically completed/done the task/assignment/responsibility.” – Sunette Spies on

The FORCE: DAY 161

 

 

And the nail I have hit my head with today:

for example, can look at contexts of:

“Postponing with School/University Assignments/Tasks – compromising one’s future and survival in this world system that is, unfortunately at this stage really dependent on establishing a profession/having an education. Obviously yes even though this may not be guaranteed, it should still not be an excuse, reason, justification to not utilize the opportunity you have in this moment to complete your education. You do not know what the Future may bring, and therefore, rather utilize the opportunity you have with education, commit yourself to get it done, so as to not have to face the regret of not utilizing this opportunity you have, later in life. It is here in your life/world, therefore – do it, get it done.” – Sunette Spies

Character Dimensions – Practical Application (Part 1): DAY 163

 

This last bit was enough to say Oh mein Gott it is so obviously blatantly here and how it has been deliberately brushed off in order to make it seem like, you know, it’s not relevant, you know I’ll do it later, I’ll Eventually get onto it, I’ll obviously have to get it done. Hence the title wherein it is interesting to see how I can give a dribble and a plethora of excuses as to why I was not doing so, however in the end it is a simple point of choosing to be/become the mind that seeks for a point of comfort/ no ‘problem solving’ type of situation instead of actually realizing how enjoyable it even was to expand myself within getting into academic stuff, this is also related to any habit that was for example supportive and when we stop doing it for an extended period of time, we tend to simply ‘forget’ how we would actually enjoy ourselves writing/ doing/ saying something that we then created a negative-charge to in order to create this infamous procrastination loop.

 

And what’s fascinating is that somehow I managed to procrastinate reading Heaven’s Journey To Life this entire week, and as I re-read this I realized that this is a timeloop obviously otherwise it would not be HERE for me to look at, walk with such blatant and obvious timing support – and self forgiveness for the clear judgmental aspect that arises as I write this out:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing any form of reputation as being a ‘responsible being,’ without realizing that such character was also driven by fear and this is the time wherein I am in fact realizing what self-movement actually is and implies for the very first time and that judging myself for it, won’t do any ‘better’ for it – within this

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I will be judged by ‘others’ for not having been consistent within my application, without realizing that I was perfectly aware of it and the deliberateness of it linked to this single point of allowing myself to be ‘driven’ by the force and believing that ‘I had it all sorted out’ which is actually the same point of ‘ignorance is bliss’ that many people may create as positive thinking, without realizing that I was doing exactly the same thing when talking myself out of taking responsibility for a single point that is here as my responsibility to be done, and within this, believe that there is ‘no consequence to it for others, but only myself’ which is also a point of self interest and deliberately shoving aside the fact that I am actually aware of how everything that we do/ don’t do does not only create a consequence for myself, but creates a consequence at the level of the whole  – and within this,

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘lose my ground’ and actually having deliberately created this stance of ‘all is well’ within me wherein apparently I was ‘not caring about it/ about getting something done,’ without actually seeing that the masquerade of ‘all is well’ was stemming from actually seeing the actual fear that created it as the realization of time as consequence being directly proportional to the amount of time I’ve shoved aside this point which is time-looping at a maniac-rate –

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually not even dare to be honest toward myself in relation to actually taking this point ‘by the horns’ because of not wanting to ‘expose’ myself to myself for the actual stupidity that it is to leave a task/ assignment/ evaluation aside believing that somehow it could not be ‘relevant’ to my reality any longer, which is quite the excuse to actually not take responsibility for myself and my creation.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to now that I am writing it out, actually experience a constriction in my chest and experience the heaviness as an energetic experience of fear in relation to seeing how long I have in fact excused myself out of this point and not given proper direction to it within the belief that I would ‘someday’ eventually do it and manage to get it all ‘perfectly done’ as I had done in the past, without considering that the past is not here as myself and that I cannot rely on ‘past patterns’ that require an actual DOING and giving direction to it within my reality, whereas before I would see them as an extension of who I am as such point of taking on a responsibility and committing myself to it.

 

When and as I see myself going into fear/ petrification when realizing the consequences of everything that I’ve done/ haven’t done, I stop and I breathe – I instead direct myself to not over-think about it and create yet another experience toward the pattern of procrastination but instead commit myself to do it, and this is not for the sake of keeping or sustaining an ‘idea’ of myself, but it is in fact part of what I had committed myself to be/ do/ become in my reality, wherein I am in fact then aware that it is a physical point to do within the current system that we live in and that it doesn’t matter if it’s required or not, it is a point for me to take on and ‘get it done’ no matter what, as I see and am aware that it cannot be pushed any further away in time than this.

 

So, I commit myself to get this done and I see and realize that breathing is the point to diffuse the experience within me which is a mix of fear and anxiety that I had managed to cover up with this seemingly ‘stable’ experience within me, while neglecting that it was not really a stable point of who I am but a make-believe stability because of knowing that I had been dragging one single point or various points around for an extended period of time without giving it direction and actually using other points in my reality to distract myself from taking responsibility for it – so another note here:

 

“Distraction – deliberately distracting ourselves with/as the Force of/as the Mind/a Personality, distracting us from/of ourselves, the physical to in/as that moment sabotage an opportunity for/as self-change/self-realisation within ourselves and our worlds. That we’d rather distract ourselves with and as the Mind/Personality, and attempt/try to validate/justify that distraction through and as the extent to which we can talk ourselves/convince ourselves in/as that moment from actually moving ourselves into and as a moment of change/realisation. All of which simply exemplify the nature of/as ourselves as human beings; that we’re deliberately utilizing ourselves as the Mind to not in fact really change, but conveniently only pay attention to our ‘comfort zones’ in the Mind to maintain separation and abdication of responsibility from/of ourselves and our worlds/realities.” – Sunette Spies  on The Force

 

So this entire point that came up in the dream wherein deciding to do the ‘fun thing/ that which I like/ that which made me feel ‘cool’  instead of  actually attending my schedule at the job and taking the point of Self Responsibility. So this is ‘my creations’ within the mindfuckism category, as Scott Cook has accurately coined the term – and it’s something I am definitely aware it’s not cool at all to perpetuate due to the actual extensive amount of energy it takes to keep shoving it aside, without actually ‘tapping’ on to it in the moment and just typing it out.

Okay, so this is the beginning of the end of me as the patriotic inhabitant of Procrasti-Nation – and this time it’s either I get it done or I swallow the already created consequences in the moment.

 

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143. Only the Privileged Ones get to Live

Does this sound elitist to you? Well, this is implied in the laws under which we’ve been all living in and by: Money is a privilege that is only granted to 1/4 of the Earth’s population, and us people behind our computers are part of it – ‘Noooo!’ Yesss, we are, clearly so, otherwise we would not be able to read, have a computer, have a sound body that is nurtured with the Earth’s resources that Should be Unconditionally Given to All Beings to Live – yet, what have we done? We have created a set of arbitrary ‘rules’ to dictate who lives and who dies, this implies that we could recognize each other as the ultimate criminals: we are all responsible for the killings of billions of human beings, animals, the Earths resources in the name of profit as that illusion of power and control that Our delusional monetary system enables in our reality.

What does this make us all? A bunch of thieves, elitists and selfish beings. However what I have realized throughout the years of having lived for a long time on the ‘leftist/ judgmental’ type of personality, I saw that the plethora of judgments toward the world system, people and essentially everyone in this world lead me nowhere and instead became just another excuse and justification to Not realize how it is that I was simply adding my 2 kg of dirt to an ever-growing empire of shit – yes, high jacking Reznor here – and never even daring to see HOW I was only judging me, really, how every single flaw I could get pissed of about in our reality made by so-called ‘Nasty beings’ was only a way to make myself seem ‘superior’ in my mind against those that I haughtily judged as despicable, nasty and absolutely abhorring in this world, in which I would obviously place politicians for the most part in such category.

I had an interesting experience today meeting one – whether it was real or not – most likely not however for what it was, it played a cool character to confront for a moment. There was this idea of ‘the privileged ones’ came up when speaking about the NASA’s endeavors  to ‘save humanity’ through going to explore another planet -and I saw that it ‘pissed me off’ the most as he was clearly indicating that ‘finding life in mars could mean the ability to send human beings there to ‘save the race’ – I pointed out how that could only be just another selfish act and that we should instead just focus on Earth to support all beings equally here – he said, well, it’s clear that not everyone will be saved, and only the privileged ones will remain. And I cringed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get pissed off at words that imply that ‘only the privileged ones on Earth’ will remain alive after ‘all the trials and tribulations,’ which is actually a statement based on Fear wherein money acts as the idea of ‘security’ that money has existed as and provided for those that can ‘assure’ their lives through money.

When and as I see myself getting pissed off at people speaking about how there are ‘privileged ones’ on Earth that will ‘deserve’ to continue living as an example of the human race, I stop and I breathe – I realize that the punitive judgment that I have inflicted upon another’s words is actually anger toward myself and all for having accepted and allowed the belief of there being ‘special beings’ in this world and that in any way such ‘privileged ones’ could be ‘saved’ on Earth, without realizing that we are actually living by/ as this punitive system wherein Life is only awarded/ given/ offered to those that hold the point of current ‘power and control’ as money, while the rest of humanity that do not have such ‘power’ as money are left to die in starvation or abused in the most horrid ways ‘just to make a living,’ in essence becoming the ‘modern day slaves’ for a consumerist apocalyptic world.

I commit myself to make of this world a privileged place to live in, wherein I can ensure that I am able to face each being and say I have in fact done what I can in order to honor life, to establish an Equality System wherein we can ensure that who we are stands as Life for eternity. And within this, realizing that there is no magic wand in this statement as it is an actual decision that I commit myself to live till the day that I die.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge anyone that lives as the perfect example of ‘only the privileged ones get to live’ wherein I would immediately associate the word privilege as a special, superior position of ‘power’ as money/ wealth, without realizing how it is that just by the fact of having money, I am part of the ‘privileged ones’ on Earth that can already have a ‘privileged life’ when compared to those other beings that have no money to live and as such, ignoring the fact that it is ourselves we judge at all times when ‘judging the system,’ ‘judging the corrupt and filthy rich politicians,’ without realizing that it is ourselves that exist as an actual point of abuse toward other living beings that are equally here, yet we have disregarded them the moment that we aGreed to create a monetary system that could ensure only a few could have money and the rest ‘strive to live’ or have no money at all, which would ensure a finite death/dead end to a living being’s life,

When and as I see myself judging people for so-called ‘elitist comments,’ I stop and I breathe – I take the point back to self to see where it is that I am in fact judging, getting angry at and reacting to words that are actually showing me where I have contributed to the abuse, elitism and segregation in this world based on the belief that money is in fact real and that money is that which ‘enables us to live,’ a Major misconception and general ‘saying’ without awareness wherein we do not see and realize how it is the Earth itself that enables us to live – the air we breathe, the foods we eat, the relationships we establish with the environment is what Living is – thus

I realize that diminishing ‘living’ to having lots of money to experience the ultimate ‘pleasure of success’ in one’s life is part of the brainwashing and indoctrination moves wherein we reduced ‘living’ to consumption, living to satisfying make-believe needs that could only support an entire ‘lifestyle’ that we all aspired to get to live, as ‘privileged ones’ that would not have to ‘deal’ with the ‘Earthly problems,’ placing ourselves in a comfortable bubble of money so that we would not have to ‘wake up’ to reality, but built a make-believe reality upon the fallacy that money has always been.

I realize that whenever I see myself judging something/ someone it is in fact me only considering Me-me-me at all times within a point of specialness as the money that creates in our lives and that I can certainly assist and support myself to walk in Self Forgiveness to see how the separation exists and how it all begun.

I commit myself to expose how we create separation, elitism as the desire to be ‘more’ than others based only on knowledge and information, such as the current money-experience we have in our every day living, which is all that we have become: beings reducing life to a single experience which is the actual point to be corrected in fact: to realize we are here as life and that it is only in Equality that life can thrive.

to be continued…

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130. Killing the Loved Ones

 

‘I’ll kill you/her/she/them!’

Continuation from: 129. Will Love and Lighters end up Killing People?

This is one of the backchat points that can be found within the desire  to control someone, which is wanting to manipulate another for the sake of acting/ doing things our way/ getting our point of Happiness. Whenever the person does Not recede to our point of control, backchat may emerge in an insulting, denigrating manner toward the unsubordinated person and one of the ‘most negatively charged’ type of backchat exists in the form of ‘I HATE YOU/HER/HIM’ or ‘I WANT TO KILL HER/HIM/THEM ALL’

 

Now, what does all the positive thinking on ‘light, love, bliss’ has to do with the point of negative backchat such as ‘I want to kill you/he/she/them?’ It is an extreme bouncing off from the positive experience, it is the extreme polarity once that someone ‘had it all’ and then ‘lost’ it as a point of self definition, unleashing then the opposite-directly proportional input of positivity back into negativity – that’s when we can identify our ‘downfalls’ and ‘depressions’ and whatnot that can escalate through our own participation up to a point of absolute mind possession labeled as ‘mental instability’ by the psychiatrists that do want to make the most for their pockets out of a seemingly neuronal-hormonal dysfunction.

In other words, this can only happen if we give too much head to such negative experience, eventually becoming nothing else but the absolute opposite of the initial all-positive input of loving someone for example – there’s even a saying ‘from love to hate there’s only one step’ – and it is so, because the starting point of love is not an equal and one standing as physical beings of flesh and bones that care for themselves = care for one another in physical well being considerations – no, love means in our colloquial vocabulary just passion, energy, bubbles in the stomach that become an absolute life-hijacking obsession that is specifically directed to a point of possession a.k.a. wanting to control the other being, wanting to feel special with that something or someone, wanting to ‘fulfill the dreams’ that only existed as a positive experience in our minds.

 

This is how we can see MANY demonic-possessions today – which are MIND-possessions and should be understood as synonyms nowadays, wherein boyfriends attack their girlfriends – or vice versa – ending up slitting their throats, killing them, hitting them to ‘make them look ugly’ and one cannot possibly fathom: ‘but wait, I was sharing my life this man, I had sex with this man, how could it possibly be that the next day he’s trying to kill me!’ – and this is precisely where the role of the mind as a literal entity occupying our physical must be understood: the problem is thinking, the moment we think, we are already existing in an alternate dimension in our minds – and in that, hell is not far away. You may say: well, then we’re all living in hell, because we All all the time, and that is correct and that is what apparently makes us these ‘supreme beings’ that can THINK – but is it really so? Who invented this type of judgment but ourselves as human beings that deep inside actually fear NOT being in control of Anything or anyone that exists here.

 

In past blogs when revising words as the imposition of man’s mind upon the physical reality, this relationship of control was seen, which later on became the money language that we are currently living with and by, it is to understand who/ what do we have to accept and allow ourselves to exist as in order to voice/think a sentence like ‘I want to Kill Him/Her/them’ and in other cases ‘Me’ as well. Here is the deal: not many people can deny that this sentence has crossed their minds in an absolute moment of an absolute negative experience which within the understanding of how the positive and negative exist, means a ‘Fall from Heaven’ to the absolute opposite – why? Because of all the expectations we built in our MINDS only – reading again, yes only in our minds – about getting/ being with/ experiencing ourselves with something or someone ‘for the rest of our lives’ which is the usual bullshit peddled in our media about these everlasting relationships for example. And this is primarily focused on wanting to Kill the Loved One, which for all cases should be the most shocking and extreme type of betrayal toward one’s conception – meaning creation of the concept – of what love is/ should be, it is as ‘frightening’ as can be, because every single bit of relationship that exists now as ‘our society’ is apparently founded (or found dead) upon love – have a look at the promotion of these experiences as something marvelous and real: having a partner, getting married, having kids, creating a family, having pets, your relationship to god,  your job, your neighbor – everything is promoted as these bubbly stages of your life wherein you are supposed to be ‘Luvin’ it’ all the way – and it’s actually quite fascinating how we can find a note in the news on a daily basis about apparent ‘loved ones’ killing each other, people hating their jobs, people bugging their neighbors ‘just because,’ people eating their children, people killing themselves or others because of their relationship with god, men killing their ex-wife and children because of a marital break-up, and the list goes on and on and frightfully on.

 

“The moment we make that decision, acceptance and allowance in the trust that whatever the mind present to us is ‘who we are’ and we continue participating in the backchats and energies, with participating as the more and more we continue talking in our minds and experiencing the energies without stopping them/investigating them: what one will find is that they become more and more intense in the mind, the more and more one remain in the energy reaction and so the backchat/thoughts/behaviours that it substantiate in the character/personality possession.” – Sunette Spies*

 

What is Wrong with this picture? The Mind 

Who we are as physical living beings in no way stand as something ‘alien’ to this physical existence as the Earth – the animal kingdom, the plants, the environment, everything functions as a whole and one single organism. Then, who is the real Problem here? The mind, the who we have become as this machine that thinks reality only to scheme one’s own survival and personal benefit, because WE programmed ourselves to only create a world system that could Only benefit ‘some’ in our reality. Now, that is seriously messed up to say the least, who are the real schizophrenic instead? Who are the real killers that are willing to maim any life left in this world in the name of a ‘thriving society’ that can look like the most outrageous façade you’ll ever see – but it’s just that, a facade, a sugar coating enamored view of reality behind which we all hide the Reality of who and what we have become as The Secret Mind

 

Once we pass through the initial disconcertion of realizing how EVIL we have become in fact to the extent of not being able to trust your apparent ‘Loved ones,’ we can start then realizing that there is a Seriously Important Task that each one of us must Take Self Responsibility for, and that’s not something ‘out of our hands’ to do, it is taking responsibility for our own minds, realizing that we all have to ensure that we STOP and Self-Forgive any single inch of hatred and Love toward another being – You might say: wait a minute, you say ‘Self Forgive every point of Loving another as well, but that’s not bad!’ yet, understanding how the existence of Hatred actually stems from Love must have left this point quite clear to you how any positive or negative input upon something or someone, will eventually go to its opposite as an experience that we then act upon, blinded by our own backchat and internal conversations that we are seldom aware of.

 

This is then to put all ‘Love and Light’ as any positive thinking ‘on the table’ from the perspective of realizing how we are all responsible for whatever we see as ‘BAD’ and ‘Negative’ in our society, it is Our Mirror and we have been denying this for far too long now. The thoughts that a serial killer or a bad tempered ex boyfriend that gets to stab her girlfriend are in no way different to Any other thought we may have in our heads.

 

Thus, it is definitely a bucket of cold water to realize that that which we always wanted to ‘ostracize’ in our society to not have to SEE what we had become, is in fact ourselves.

 

We’ll continue with the process of realizing the correction is not ‘out there’ in some bloody policy awaiting to be approved by the government to ‘Stop the madness!’ It is here within and as ourselves that the correction potentially exists: we just have to live it.

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