Tag Archives: retaliate

89. Righteous Victim

Continuing from
  • 87. Tantrum-me : Explaining the memory of childhood that created the pattern and condition of ‘the victim’
  • 88. The Victim: Walking the Self-Forgiveness process on the childhood memory along with other points that emerged when walking the Self Forgiveness
 
Self Corrective Statements.

This is the Self-Corrective process to stop the pattern from playing out from here on when and as I see myself in particular events/ situations that present the same trigger points that I would react to based on the particular character identified as ‘The Victim.’

 

When and as I see myself suiting a memory in order to place myself as the victim within a particular event/situation, I stop and I breathe – I realize that the ability to stop playing as a character based on the past as memory is here the moment that I do not participate and instead, continue walking, breathing and directing myself in common sense according to what is here as reality.

 

I realize that the advantage used before within ‘being the offended’ in the story was to place myself as superior to the other characters in the story, without realizing that I cannot base my existence of ‘who I am’ as the offender/ offended in a particular event – it is about me taking responsibility for what I do, say and think in the moment wherein if I in any way think or react in an emotional way, I direct myself to investigate the point to see where it is that I haven’t yet walked the self forgiveness in relation to the particular memory it is stemming from, in order to realize the cycle that must be stopped as a particular thinking pattern within me, such as victimizing myself toward beings in my reality based on the memories I held of them within my own mind.

 

When and as I see myself expecting someone to feel ‘bad’ about something that they have done, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am following the pattern of expecting someone to react in a way that makes me feel in ‘power and control’ over them. Thus I direct myself to instead support myself to stop any thoughts, reactions and then support them to instead of falling into guilt, blame and remorse, realize the point of responsibility through self-forgiveness and walk the necessary corrections in self-honesty.

 

When and as I see myself acting out of righteousness as in thinking that ‘I want to/ I can do this all by myself,’ I stop and I breathe- I realize this is the ego of the mind speaking as the ingrained pattern in and during childhood. Thus I realize that I can instead learn how to work and direct points in working with others, as that is an effective way to expand ourselves into a more effective way of living as equals.

 

I realize that this is in essence an ingrained pattern that I played out as a child wherein I would deliberately want to do it ‘on my own’ based on how my parents wanted to do things for me, the same with teachers when placing an example and giving ‘too many examples for my taste,’ wherein I would go into a haste of wanting them to just stop and allow me to do it on my own.

 

I realize then that this pattern of wanting to do it on my own and in essence devoid of ‘authority supervision’ was my way to prove that I do not require to be directed by others- just another form of incipient ego that I developed as a child because it was not from an actual realization of me being able to do it by myself, but mostly getting pissed off when ‘being shown’ how to do things, placing myself in the ego stance as if I was already ‘all knowing’ and didn’t require to be directed.

 

When and as I see myself reacting in exasperation and irritation when things/ points are being shown to me, I stop and I breathe – I realize that the only reason why I am reacting is because I am coming from the ‘who I am’ as the ego that doesn’t require explanations, directions and ‘knows how to do it,’ which is till this day an ingrained pattern wherein I react whenever someone gives me direction and common sense is shoved away and first emerges this reaction of ‘being told what to do,’ wherein I then believe that I was not being ‘effective enough’ and as such, diminish myself in that moment of taking the directions/ suggestions, instead of walking in common sense to not consider who is giving the instructions and within what context – but simply hear and apply based on common sense as what’s best for all.

 

When and as I see myself reacting to authority in/as any personality/ character, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I simply have to consider at all times what is best for all, and as such direct myself to establish my common –sense as a living direction wherein I stop acting and reacting based on the ‘who I am’ as the ego of the past, and instead unconditionally live here in every moment character-less.

 

When and as I see myself using any means such as ‘threats’ in order for others to act / move / direct a particular point, I stop and I breathe – I realize that this authoritarian character and imposition is a point that I accepted and allowed myself to play out from childhood wherein I learned how I would only move if I was threatened with something.

 

I realize that this mechanism acts in the form of instilling fear of experiencing something that I loathed – for example, being tickled until I would almost pee myself – if I didn’t remove my school uniform when getting home from school – which became a ‘game’ with my mother though at the same time I was actually petrified of being tickled until I would almost or sometimes pee myself because of the laughter mixed with fear.

 

I see that what may seem as a ‘meaningless game’ has actually instilled a traumatic-exposure as a way to move/ direct myself instead of having a common sensical explanation of why I should do it, instead of just imposing and order along with a threat if I didn’t do it.

 

When and as I see myself wanting to be ‘special’ because of not reacting/ acting in an apparent ‘predictable pattern’ in relation to ‘the masses’ – I stop and I breathe- I realize that any reaction and any assessment of ‘which character am I at the moment’ is also another form of ego as I am basing my existence here in the moment in relation to comparing myself to others in the moment.

 

Thus I remain breathing wherein there can exist no character at all.

 

When and as I see myself experiencing a sense of freedom, self-direction and independence when pushing a trolley – which is and has been a quiet experience within me every time and only now am I noticing it – I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is linked to that point of ‘taking the wheel’ in my life as a self-righteousness pattern, along with the characters of efficiency and effectiveness that I have exposed to myself in relation to my father. Thus I direct myself to simply walk with a trolley here, in the moment, one and equal, doing whatever it is that I have to do in the supermarket.

 

It’s fascinating how such a seemingly ‘unimportant’ point as pushing a trolley can be loaded with an entire character based on ingrained memories from the past as childhood.

 

When and as I see myself wanting to do the opposite of what the perceived point of authority in my reality is pointing out myself to be/ do and direct, I stop and I breathe. I realize that acting out of reaction is not best for all, but only suiting my ego as to ‘be right’ / have the best direction and/ or just deliberately causing friction within another as an ingrained way to maintain myself as ‘superior’ and ‘right’ toward others.

 

When and as I see myself saying the words ‘why didn’t you tell me? How come no one let me know?’ I stop and I breathe – I ensure that I am not charging these words with energy as in feeling ‘left out’ and ‘rejected’ or deliberately ignored based on the memories of myself as a child – thus I realize that I can direct such words to relate to a practical point wherein I do not take things personally, but instead first see and check what was the context in the moment and if I was required to ‘be there’ or not.

 

A memory comes up when I was at the farm and I was washing, which means that I would not be hearing much based on the noises in the laundry room. And then I saw that there was not much movement around, so after a while I realized that everyone was in a meeting and I had not been called – I got into such anger immediately toward my partner in that time because ‘it was his duty to let me know,’ and in that moment I became possessed with anger that I eventually exerted it out after all onto him, which was one of the times that I was being shown and revealed how I was blowing things out of proportion and deliberately wanting him to react in a similar way. But because I would see ‘indifference’ and ‘no reaction,’ I would get even more pissed off about it. I was instead shown how I was simply acting out of a mind possession, which was a cool point to see and realize once I allowed myself to Hear and stopping the raging backchat in the moment. I saw how I would immediately take it personal instead of investigating first the point and remain here as breath throughout it, and direct the necessary points to correct from here on. Instead I reacted heavily in anger which I see can be associated with this childhood memory and other memories of believing and perceiving that I am deliberately being ignored/ not called/ not taken into consideration – plus not getting the necessary ‘shame’ and remorse from another to make myself feel like the righteous victim in that moment – which is only a mind-trap for me to remain as a victim that can later on use this as a means to retaliate toward the person/ people that apparently had ‘done this unto me.’

 

When and as I see myself reacting to people in a certain event wherein I believe that I am being deliberately uninformed/ left out/ rejected – I stop and I breathe. I direct myself to remain here as breath and instead simply get the necessary points that I require to be aware of and continue with my daily tasks/ doings.

When and as I see myself deliberately raging against someone within the expectation of having them react to my words in a similar negative way, I stop and I breathe – I realize that this point of ‘raging against someone’ must not even exist if I am able t to direct myself in breath throughout situations instead of taking it personally and blowing things out of proportion.

 

I realize that I am reacting in an automated manner based on the memories of ‘who I am’ that I had not even been able to spot before as they were patterns ingrained in childhood.

 

When and as I see myself going into the pattern of being the ‘odd one’ in the family context, I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is just based on certain events wherein I built up the belief of me not being ‘a desired child’ which I would use as a means to have something to ‘oppose to’ in my world just for the sake of creating friction and conflict toward others.

 

I instead direct myself to remain here as breath, communicating and being here without assessing ‘who I am’ in that moment as a character based on the past in relation to the memory of myself as part of a particular family construct.

 

When and as I see myself wanting to deliberately blow things out of proportion in order to instigate further inner conflict in another so that I can feel like ‘the winner’ in my own mind, I stop and I breathe. I realize that this is me wanting to enhance myself as the self-righteousness character. Instead, I direct myself to remain here as breath wherein I can hear/ read the point unconditionally and as such, place myself in the shoes of another to see what is the best direction to give and do based on what’s best for all parts involved.

 

When and as I see myself believing that I am being deliberately ‘excluded’ for some point/ activity/ event, I stop and I breathe – I realize I am taking it personal wherein I think that I am being singled out for the sake of some personal ego reasons. I realize that this is only existent within my mind based on how I programmed myself from childhood to believe that I was the ‘unwanted child’ and as such, have a ‘reason’ to rebel against family/ authority in my mind.

 

When and as I see myself deliberately getting angry, shouting and making an entire ‘big deal’ out of an event in order to instill fear and a general shock in another so that they can react in guilt, shame, remorse, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I am simply wanting to place myself as above them and getting an energetic kick out of their reaction. Thus I breathe through the words, I stop any reaction and instead direct the point within the consideration of what is best for all in the moment, ensuring I do not take it personal but instead support myself and the other person to establish a proper communication to sort out/ direct the point effectively.

 

When and as I see myself speaking words toward another from the starting point of deliberately ‘putting more wood on the fire,’ I stop and I breathe. I realize that I am acting out of the victim personality that seeks to feel ‘more’ and ‘better’ than the other by instigating a particular ‘negative experience’ within them, so that I can feel good/ positive experience within me.

 

I realize that I am able to share perspectives and points in another however, all have to be based from the clear starting point of ensuring that I am not deliberately pointing fingers as to make others feel ‘like shit’ but to support another as myself to establish ourselves as self-directive beings that in all cases consider what is best for all people involved in equality.

 

When and as I see myself taking the ‘benevolent being’ character that is ‘willing to forgive another for what they’ve done,’ I realize that this is just plain ego as no one can forgive another, it is plain separation. I instead support another to walk through the point in Self-Forgiveness wherein I ensure I also walk the necessary self-forgiveness to unconditionally let go of any reactions emerging in the moment within me – I take responsibility for my mind, my thoughts, my words and reactions – thus I make sure I am breathing before speaking.

 

When and as I see myself playing out the character of ‘the one that is able to point out shit in another,’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that this ‘observer’ pattern as ‘the judge’ has been prominent within me instead of placing myself equal and one to another in the moment to then direct myself ‘as them’ to see the points that require direction. I see and realize that taking the character of ‘the judge’ is me believing myself to always be right and a such already place myself as inequality toward another – I direct myself to ensure I am breathing when interacting with another and I place myself in the moment within the consideration of what is best for all as equality and oneness.

 

When and as I see myself playing out the ‘polite one’ in order to get what I want, I stop and I breathe – I realize this is a manipulative pattern within me wherein I can simply direct myself to ask for the point without using surreptitious cloaked means to do so by instilling positivity in another to get my reward/ prize/ winning situation.

 

When and as I see myself expecting some ‘reward’ from another based on a previous event wherein I have experienced myself as ‘the victim,’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that reward is and has been a mechanism to make myself feel better after having felt being wronged and as such, all forms of ‘instilling happiness’ within me is based on me allowing myself to exist as a character based on the past and memories of childhood. Thus, I direct myself to not expect and not create any future projections and expectation toward anything or anyone.

 

When and as I see myself deliberately placing a gesture of sadness, depression or any other anguished face – I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is only possible when I am around people and I want to deliberately make them react to the face and ask ‘what is wrong?’ ‘what is going on?’ – hence this is deliberate manipulation that can only exist if I allow myself to remain as a character that instills a negative experience In another, to obtain commiseration as a positive experience in reward, which is just me supporting characters as myself and others in this world. I ensure that I first take on the thought pattern to see where and how I am victimizing myself in the moment, walk it through self forgiveness to ensure I stop the character in its root – myself – instead of going out and deliberately exposing it to get the reactions I want/ need and require to maintain the victimization character.

 

I commit myself to continue writing out the characters ingrained within childhood that I accepted and allowed myself to be and become as it is clear how such points have remained as a righteousness within me without questioning it further, instead of realizing that I have been the creator of them all  = hence it is absolutely possible for me to stop them.

 

I commit myself to remain here as breath in every single moment of my day to day living, wherein I realize that the smallest reaction is myself existing as a character that must be investigated, self forgiven and self-corrected to stop the cycles of the past existing within and as  me.

 

For further support, visit the Desteni Forum

For specialized self-support, check out the Desteni I Process

Equal Money System 

 

Darla 06

Darla (2006)

Self Support on Childhood memories and considerations to walk in our process:

Advertisements

59: Is the Elite the Only Parasite of the Earth?

 

Perceiving ourselves as ‘handcuffed’ in this world to create a change is a state of victimization wherein we make ourselves believe that ‘we cannot do anything about the world! because ‘others’ are in control!’ – Really? But who has accepted and allowed such ‘control’ in the first place? It is in this state of denial of Self-Responsibility that we have created the world as is: in an absolute crisis that we can only condemn as an act of ‘evil’ that ‘others/ they’ have deployed in realty.

We are prisoners of our own illusions – are these illusions really only ‘illusions’ or are they outflows of acceptances and allowances that have a starting point of and as separation of who we are as one and equals? Is such separation only an illusion then? Why do we get caught up in the characters being played within the global system such as elite/ powerful people doing ‘wrong’ onto others, while we are all Still collectively accepting it as ‘how things are.’ And this is not only a contemporary assessment, one has to have a look at how the cave man operated in order to understand how the drive for power and control did not only emerge with Money – Money is but an outflow of systematizing such power and control as an acceptable way of ‘government’ – Yet, what we are not willing to understand is how such forms of control were actually a way to contain our inherent nature of evil. Who would we be with full ‘free will’ and ‘free choice’ in this world? With no laws, no regulations, no form of ‘control’ – We must be Self-Honesty enough to understand that we would have killed each other and the world would be probably fully depleted by now. Not everyone is willing to understand that we are one and equal as the ‘evil’ that we tend to only project to ‘those in power,’ why? Because through accepting ourselves as equally evil to ‘those in power,’ it makes us equally responsible and that is what is mostly avoided to be realized, as that would entail that we can no longer rejoice in ‘blaming others’ for what we are, but we then have to work with the elite, with the poor, with the middle class and realize that we can only create a change in this world if we are all willing to cooperate to create solutions.

 

So, within this: are we willing to open our eyes and realize our Equal Responsibility in this World? The only reason why we could continue blaming an elite is because we are not willing to do the work ourselves, to do what is necessary to be done in order to ‘change the world’ which is first and foremost: changing ourselves, correcting our starting point from blame, justification, excuse and spitefulness to actual one-and-equal understanding that WE would have done exactly the same things if living the life of a person in the ‘elite.’ In the end, you and I having enough money to eat, to have electricity, a computer and enough education to write are well aware that this already makes us part of the Elite against the billions that have nothing of this and are only asking themselves why on Earth no one gives a damn about them.

 

Where Do You Decide to Stand Here?

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the ‘greedy’ and ‘rich’ as the elite of the world for being selfish, without realizing how such selfishness is an embedded aspect of ‘human nature’ that we are all responsible for having cultivated and never questioned in reality, only caring for our own survival which I and you also participate in – therefore, I realize that the current state of the world is the accumulation of such oblivious stance toward the world system as ourselves, as our own creation. It is Us individuals that created the system – therefore we can’t blame ‘the system’ for all that we have externalized from how our very own mind works as an occupant of the body that should exist in oneness and equality as and of life.

I realize upon physical-evidence as this world that it is ourselves as the mind who have created the current world system as our ‘image and likeness,’ which makes us all Equally-Responsible for the current crisis, destruction and absolute degradation of life into a world-system of money.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame ‘those in power’ as being of ‘sadistic nature’ when in fact, such ‘nature’ is inherent to every single human being on Earth that will do whatever it takes to get the most of the cake, to survive and thrive even if that means abusing another living being to do so – including the Earth’s resources – therefore, I realize that me condemning someone as ‘sadistic’ is placing myself in a puritan pedestal as if ‘I had nothing to do with it’ – in this, victimizing myself, handcuffing myself and choosing to be the ‘abused’ instead of realizing I am one and equal as the abuser, for I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in an essentially sadistic system that reflects us back our own inherent-nature that is running in our heads and that becomes even more evident every time that we try to ‘wash our hands’ from the obvious participation in the same system of abuse.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that ‘the elite’ are hiding their ‘true nature’ behind philanthropist endeavors, without realizing that such ‘true nature’ is equally evil and of absolute self-interest, greed and general disregard toward Life which makes us all fake good-doers that pretend to be ‘right’ and ‘good’ and ‘thoughtful’ – just like a philanthropist – while taking the high stake of being able to judge others for what we would have mostly also done in their shoes, with their money, their education and environment as it is all they ever knew. Within this I realize that the elite person is equally responsible as myself for having accepted and allowed ourselves to believe that only through exerting power over others can we live, which is the first assumption that lead us to create a world system base in inequality and within that, complicating our lives to find seemingly ‘good ways’ to support others, without understanding that Life was never considered in Equality, which lead us to  create a system that didn’t function according to Life itself as a physical reality – but instead, we all agreed to create a system that works only to benefit some while the rest are not considered within the equation – or extremely limited within their benefits – so that there is people willing to do ‘any work’ that those with money won’t be willing to do.

I realize that we have forcibly pushed people to be slaves in order to maintain a system of benefit for a minority and of scarcity and limitation as fear of survival to control, which reveals our ‘true nature’ as human beings that have accepted and allowed this disparity to exist in the first place, in separation of who we really are as life.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the Elite for ‘genocidal choices’ without realizing what choice I took as an individual the moment that I accepted and allowed life to be consumed in order to satisfy myself as a mind, as an experience that only seeks its own survival and is evil in nature as the reversed mechanism of transforming life’s substance into energy, as a mere fuel for our reality wherein all that we are constantly fueling is a system of control. This proves that we have been biting our own tail as in consuming ourselves while trying to maintain ‘our lives’ within a system that promotes money as power over life, while it is in fact this fallacy what must be understood as a general acceptance and allowance that has become the very killing-machine that we are all running-as within our very own physical body every single moment that we allow experience to dictate ‘who are’ instead of the physical common sense of all being equally responsible for this world = all having equal ability to stand as the solution.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame politicians, social institutions and any other association with a large budget with the ability to create a change in this world, and believing that “they” are the only ones responsible for the current crisis and problems in the world, without seeing that I accepted and allowed such system to continue ‘as is’ because I saw myself as ‘handcuffed’ and not being able to do ‘anything about it,’ because of thinking that their money makes them ‘more’ and in that, separating myself from who I am as a human being of flesh and bones that is equal to those people who have only used the laws and system to their advantage, which implies that I first had to abdicate my responsibility to allow such system of control to exist in the first place.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear control and condemn control, without even understanding what could have happened if our ‘true nature’ – as Evil and absolute negligence toward life – was left ‘unbound’ and without any form of control, which would be certainly a lot worse than it is today, because such inherent nature of selfishness and survivalism is an embedded-aspect of ourselves, regardless of ‘capitalism’ as the point to blame, because the barbaric nature of our being was NOT the result of capitalism, was NOT the result of money –

 

Money, capitalism and the current state of control is but an Outflow of the inherent nature that was born with/as ourselves from the very moment that we emerged as individuals in this existence.

 

This is the type of history that must be taught in our schools, we have been oblivious to it for our entire existence. And, not being willing to Hear while having the means to do so, is a deliberate act of spitefulness, because it is our responsibility to restore the primordial state of Equality and Oneness as Life,  as it had never ever existed before in our reality. This means that our current crisis/ world problems are but the outflows and manifested consequence of an existential accumulation of separation, disregard of one another, wherein we are only willing to point fingers at some equally manufactured ‘controllers’ and ‘people in power’ that in fact were also oblivious to the role they represented as an outflow of us having separated ourselves from each others as life, and in that, becoming just parts that continue the friction and war within  the system of abuse in the name of our personal benefit, in the name of our experience, our ‘life’ based on life’s substance abuse.

 

I commit myself to expose how we tend to only judge the outflows of a system that we have all been equal participants in, wherein judging another for their decisions implies that I am deliberately ignoring my own acceptances and allowances as ‘choices’ made in and of Self-Interest.

 

I commit myself to walk my own process of stopping any form of desire to vindicate my apparent victim-state in a world where I had accepted and allowed myself to see me as ‘inferior’ to the system, as ‘inferior’ to those in power, which implies that I gave then my full permission to not be equally-standing as the responsibility toward the creation of a world-system based on money, where money has not been equated to life, but to an illusion of power over others, which can only be made REAL through Actual Abuse upon life itself.

 

I commit myself to create a world-system based on Life in Equality, of which the starting point is here as myself when I allow myself to stand equal-as-one as ‘those in power’ and realize that the only power that exists for all beings is equally here as breath, and that through debunking the fallacy and illusion of the money as make-believe power, we can get to an equal starting point to realize what is really life, what’s really living once that Money as the illusion that we created to control and separate ourselves is no longer the obstacle between ourselves as life, one and equal.

 

I equalize myself as all perceived ‘external powers’ and realize that all the power that I exist as – along with any other human being- is here as breath where I make sure that all my actions, words and deeds indicate that I am in fact LIVING and not only blaming others for that which I have accepted and allowed to exist in myself as well.

I realize that I will have to work with every being in this world to create an actual change, that includes the Elite – therefore I stop all self-limitations and states of victimizations to instead, be the point of support that can reveal, show and explain how we can only continue living and existing if All is Equally considered in this world. Otherwise, the remaining ‘elite’ will only crash and die without the people that currently ‘do the work’ if they end up with no money, no food as well. We are all equally ‘chained’ here and unless we learn to coexist: we will all die.

 

For further discussions: Equal Money System – vote on the proposals, comment and engage in the ongoing discussions.

 

For individual self-support to understand how we have abdicated our own power and given-into a system of ‘control’ as a reflection of our inability to be self-responsible: Desteni, Desteni I Process and the Forum.

 

 

 

Education about the Money System as the outflow of our inherent ‘nature’

 

Philanthropists and the Reality of this world: The truth that won’t be heard within their lifetimes.

 

FREE Downloads at Eqafe:

And a great song that places our feet together to realize our responsibility exists as a Life Collective:

Blogs:


%d bloggers like this: