Tag Archives: sacred art

273. Honoring Life and our Creative Force in Equality

When looking at what we have learned to express as and dedicated our lives to as humanity, it’s not been to honor each other as equals, we didn’t learn from our parents or at school how to do that – we instead learned how to compete, how to win, how to ‘do whatever it takes’ to become number one and feel proud about it. We never learned how to direct our every breath and every moment consideration to nurture ourselves, to become better living beings, to learn from others, to support others to strengthen ourselves and themselves, to cooperate and realize the true harmony that can create in this world. Unfortunately, we have only learned the opposite: to only care for ourselves, our loved ones, to respect authorities that abuse the majorities, to vote for that which will ensure My security and satisfaction while neglecting those that will be affected by such measures, to deposit our time and workforce to maintain a system wherein no one is living ‘happily ever after’ yet still believe that such thing is possible.

 

Continuing from:

Our civilization is like a fractal from the perspective that we can take any part of it, anywhere in the world, study the patterns as the forces involved in creating the patterns that such part/piece of reality is presenting and we will be able to realize the limitations, the abuse, the suffering, the negligence, the harm and also all the benefits and good living conditions generated through the use and abuse of such resources/space/people/living beings.

When I began writing about this point within looking at sacred art the same points exist: we learn to revere to a reality according to the pictures that we are then taught to venerate, to obey and we get certain belief systems imprinted wherein we are able to justify such abuses – like no one questions why people are still living in shacks made of cardboard and aluminum sheets in certain peripheral areas of our ‘great cities’ but billions are invested in freeways, constructions of the greatest quality, multi-billion projects for malls and other centers that ensure more money will be obtained through such investment – but, what kind of ‘profit’ can one make from building proper houses for people? If you are the company that builds such houses, you can earn great profit with the right connections, however the materials of such houses are most likely flimsy and of the lowest quality, why? Because we haven’t learned how to honor each other as equals and we give to another that which will cost us the least so we can earn the most. Haiti is still struggling to recover after 3 years of the Earthquake and the world keeps turning without any substantial support being given to people that have no basic sanitation/ toilettes/ running water and sewage which in itself is currently the cause of the cholera outbreaks that are becoming a chronic situation there.

It is impossible to not look at my comfortable position and ponder how on Earth one can feel ‘happy’ in this world while billions of people that are equals in essence to myself are going through hell every single day. And all of this is because we have learned to honor money and not life. We have learned to trust invisible gods to make a change instead of us taking the responsibility for our creation; we have learned to rather applaud the great civilized world of wonders, luxury, opulence and ‘divinity’ while turning a deliberate blind eye to the reality that we are neglecting in order to ensure that we ‘keep on dreaming’ and never look at the other side.

 

The point here is to realize one thing: in the end, everything that we are currently securing our lives with is a make believe system that is no longer sustainable, just as the gods and religions that are slowly but surely coming to pass as more young people realize the fallacy that it is to venerate gods and money that is destroying the Earth, and it’s not a power that god and money have in themselves, it is the way we are currently using Money which is the problem. And currently our lives are revealing their ‘real dark side’ in order for us to realize that we have really fucked up. We cannot continue venerating gods and money that is deliberately becoming the most lethal drug that we are all consuming on a daily basis, and we have to understand that such lethal drug is the mind and who we are as the mind is the one that has accepted and allowed any form of power in separation of ourselves, any form of symbol as ‘more’ than ourselves and any creative force place at the service of forging these very same symbols and structures determined to implant belief systems that have ruled humanity from the very beginning of our civilization.

This is also in conjunction when looking at human history, all continents and their prehistoric times wherein all that remains is all the archeological residues of civilizations and all the representations and ‘great works’ that were mostly dedicated to create this ‘divine’ idea of the human being, adoring gods and forces of nature outside of themselves, learning to consider the ‘greatest forces’ in this world as ‘bigger’ and ‘more powerful’ than ourselves, and in this abdicating all sense of reality when it comes to really looking at what it is that we are praying for/ venerating/ building, what type of values, what are we really creating a sense of respect for, what are we placing on pedestals and as such, also looking at everything that we are mostly neglecting and brushing aside as all our ‘backchat’ and secret mind transformed into the ‘ugliness’ of the world that we constantly feel the need to ‘spice up’ – it is unsustainable now to hide behind gods and good spirits since even drugs and alcohol are turning the ‘party’ into a nightmare and horror screening in real-time.

 

Within all of this it is just a reflection of everything that I could realize just by observing some ‘marvels’ of sacred art and the history that exists before us as humanity, and the thing is that throughout all of this time there has been no equal and one consideration of who we are as living beings toward each other. Proof of that is that we rather employed our work force to create gods and ‘precious items’ to make ourselves ‘more worthy’ than developing any form of Self-Honesty and consideration of what is best for every single living being in this world. There was non, and the fact that many people are Still venerating any god – either money or religious god – generates the point of abuse necessary to maintain this current system in place. Yes, you read properly: abuse required to maintain this current system in place.

 

In the Equal Money Capitalism we will practice the law of placing our creative forces at the service of Life itself, learning how to honor ourselves as each and every single cell that we have taken for granted, we will learn how to understand that no system can be a ‘living environment’ without ensuring that every single being is equally supported to have the necessary means and services/ resources to Live in dignity – because we will stop living as viruses within a system outdoing each other and being subsumed in mind-battles against each other, we will instead learn how to become the beings that we all desired to become, but ended up veering such twisted self idea toward a relationship of competition, dishonor and abuse because that’s currently the only way only a few can ‘win’ in the game.

The creations that will originate from such self-stability and real harmony will have nothing to do with artifacts that represent symbols of ‘moreness’ as the depiction of our personal deliriums within the beliefs of gods/ money/ power, we will instead learn how to put our creative efforts to create sustainable environments that finally consider the life that has been used/abused to currently maintain our deceptive self-images and money systems. A real honor toward oneself and each other will emerge and the expression of ourselves will be a one and equal reflection of that – that’s definitely an art/creativity that one can ‘look forward’ to – however such decision to do this must not be placed in a ‘long term future projection,’ and instead realize that we have to become it ourselves, today, by making a decision in every moment to be of life and not of the mind of gods, moneys and ‘power systems’ that have only served to abuse life.

That is certainly the purest breath of life that we can give to ourselves, to purify ourselves, to support and direct our every single cell to ensure our lives are honored at last and we burn down to ashes everything that was never meant to do just that.

 

So, this is a rebirth for Self-Expression, to never again idolize gods and money and instead learn how to honor our every single cell that enables us to breathe and exist and as such, direct our every day and existence to for once and for all implement a world system that will ensure no one/ no-thing  is ever again used as energy and work force to sustain/maintain beliefs systems of abuse such as religions and the monetary system that only benefits some. From this starting point of standing one and equal to every single part/particle in our reality, we can be sure that whatever we express/manifest from this living-statement of who we are as Life in Equality, we will learn what actual Self Expression is, which won’t be based on beauty and all these wonderful stories of divine powers and great victories,  but a real extension of a stability, a certainty, an honoring of ourselves as that which we are committing ourselves to live by and express as.

The meaning and purpose of life, is at all times Life in itself – hence we first learn how to Live: we create a world system that lays the foundation to enable such living expression @ www.equalmoney.org

Further Support:

How to Become Life

 

 

Blogs:

Economist’s Journey to Life

Journey to Life

 

Interviews:

  • The Soul of Money series is the greatest sociological, psychological and economical education with a holistic perspective of this world systems, ourselves and the solutions to create a world in Equality.
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272. Venerating The Money-God

 

Continuing from: 271. Sacred Art: the Key to Understanding Reality

Also Read: 203. The Acceptance of Heaven is the Allowance of Hell

 

So, we find that the representations used to venerate gods/ the divine were meant to ‘educate’/imprint/reinforce within human beings this sense of being lost and seeking to be ‘found’ and ‘happy again.’ You are born sin, some guy died because of your sins, you have to punch your chest recognizing that it’s been ‘my fault, my fault, my great fault’ and then pray to some god, angels, archangels and saints to save us from ‘falling’ into the pits of our temptations, which is everything that has been tainted with being bad, wrong, spoiled, which also includes that which generates Life on Earth, such as sex and sexuality, such profanity from ourselves yet we never questioned this and as such, morality was born.

 

If we have a look at what sacred art represents is quite a form of ultimate abuse and control which is using the Earth’s materials to be worked by and through one human being to create a final product that will serve for purposes of enslavement. I cannot see a difference between this same process and virtually all that we have constructed/ built in our society that is currently serving No purpose other than continuing the mystification of the human race within these ‘godly’ self-beliefs of evolution/progress/betterment and investing in such ‘godly tasks’ while there’s still people dying from preventive diseases, starving to death and having no proper education given in equality in order to be able to ‘equally make it’ in this holy-crusade that we’ve called Life. That’s our god of progress, yet we’re all quite happy with the way it turned out ‘for us’ because we have had no idea of what it is to really be ‘forgotten’ in this world system.

 

In terms of this sacred art, it is no different to the images/pictures/sounds used for massive purposes of propaganda through the best PR campaigns to direct the population to buy/consume something and as such, keep the entire system in place. Back then there was no media or radio or anything like ‘mass media’ that exists now- yet, there were churches and people that spent their lifetimes ‘converting’ people, which here in Mexico it meant stopping venerating several gods of natural forces and start believing in Jesus, the bible, the saints and seeking to be ‘benevolent’ at all cost. So it meant a shift from a functional form of enslavement to these natural-forces as gods to a monotheism that became the most profound form of indoctrination in our culture: you are only a servant to god, you are a sinner, you deserve nothing, you must suffer to reach any godhood. And for that, you have to now ‘Elevate’ yourself through believing in god, going to church, giving your money to the church, feeling constantly guilty for your sins, feeling like you always NEED to feel good, to be ‘closer to god’ and do whatever it takes to make a higher score in your reputation with god as this ‘omnipresent’ authority-figure that we all learned to fear.

 

What’s more fascinating is that this is precisely how the Quantum Mind operates: everything that was created as a constant form of secret mind is all the negative, bad, evil, dark, nasty and the usual catholic indoctrination means that one has to ‘feel bad’ about that, feel guilty, you are a nasty piece of flesh if you dare to go without confessing your dark deeds to another man that was supposed to absolve you from your sins in god’s name. Well, what happens at a quantum mind level is that we would thus only seek to be ‘Positive’ all the time and experience the ‘glory of god’ in our earthly lives, which means: hide everything that seems negative, seek the light! seek the positive! without Ever having understood what the hell does ‘being positive’ in fact meat, which is certainly Not an actual best for all state of being for ourselves as our physical body and establishing proper relationships with ourselves and each other – but instead it meant the Most Energy for the Mind/ Consciousness, which implies that we have only really been venerating one real god: energy/ consciousness, wherein we have believed that all the love, light, peace and joy are ‘natural’ experiences and our ‘utmost desire’ to fulfill on Earth – but, again, who taught us that such ‘well being’ is an energetic flickering experience that we have to Buy/ Consume and attain Happiness/Joy/Bliss no matter what – why do we have to BUY our happiness and well being?

All of this exists in a massive ignorance toward how the mind operates that, as we have explained before, to generate any sense of ‘positive experience’ it has to consume the flesh/physicality in order to transform it into energy that we then call ‘positive experiences’ – For this please educate yourself with the following interview:

Quantum Mind Self Awareness – STEP 26

 

The religious construct implies: you are separated from god – But what is ‘god’ anyways? Well, if we can give god a proper signifier it is the physical, life in itself as a whole – thus, one of the ways in which we have separated ourselves from our own piece of god as the physical body that we are is through the Mind, because the mind is a system that can only exist if enough energy as the result of a relationship of friction and conflict within ourselves is generated in order to create these either positive or negative experiences that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become as ‘who we are’ as ‘our personality’ as our ‘identity.’  So all of these suffering images were meant to remind us all the time: suffer, be sad, repent! you are born in sin, you are flawed, you are not worthy unless you climb the ladder of success to get to god/the most money in the world and as such, you’ll be holy and deserving the heavens. But, no one explained how such ‘glory’ as the heavens/ the most money in the world was created: both systems implied the resourcing of the physicality transformed into energy to power up the ‘Heaven’ existence – that is no longer existent and for that read the Desteni Materialand the Money System as well wherein those at the ‘top of the pyramid’ and even in a figurative way ‘closer to god/ the heavens/ above the Earth’ are able to be in such positions due to the abuse that is imposed onto the rest/ base of the pyramid in order to make More than others and claim divinity and having a ‘fortunate position’ while deliberately neglecting how those below are actually ‘living’ and how they have been the forgotten ones by some god to have equal-support and opportunity as those that get to be at the very top.

 

Now, when looking at sacred art which was mostly made for and in the houses of the elites and the ecclesiastic circles/ churches, one gets to see this imposition of ‘divinity’ and ‘power’ through majestic constructions with lots of gold and magnificent paintings that are revered till this day. For that, you can hear  The Soul of Money – Part 26 for further context of how this operates.

It is quite an abuse to use actual creative forces to forge, sculpt, paint and manifest some of the most atrocious artifacts with which billions have been enslaved to through such items/products becoming a representation of the belief systems we have all followed – there’s still billions venerating images, crucifixes and all forms of relics associated with some form of ‘divine symbols’ that one is then protected by, or given ‘good omens’ with or signifying some form of specialness – all kinds of delirium that is able to be created/ constructed in order to maintain this hierarchical separation from ourselves as god/ life existent equal and one in everything and everyone.

 

I see this is why a movie like Stigmata became such a fascination to me because the message was clear with the Gospel of Thomas there “Jesus said… the Kingdom of God is inside you, and all around you, not in mansions of wood and stone. Split a piece of wood… and I am there, lift a stone… and you will find me.” However, as explained yesterday, Jesus was not god, Jesus simply saw within himself and everyone else that sameness as Life, hence such Equality could be found Everywhere and as such, this statement would debunk the entire institutionalization of god made religion, made ‘followers’ and a set of dogmas that one would have to somehow be controlled by, which is the entire plot of  Stigmata where the Vatican is presented as keeping all of these secrets in order to not lose control of the faithfully deceived.

 

If we see a parallel within the Money System currently, the same process is going on: one is not supposed to question the existence of Money – how it is created, who decides what is worth what amount of money, what are the laws that decide and govern how money moves in this physical reality, and the ‘representatives of god’ as money in this reality are the bankers and governmental institutions that have the ‘divine power’ to create money out of thin air and decide to do whatever will benefit them the most with it. We’re then left with a few economists – a parallel to the theologians  – that are supposed to ‘make sense’ of the economy only, and I say theologians and economists are similar because none of them have any actual ‘say’ to change how the power is forged/constituted/configured within this reality, one can only ‘study it’ within its defined/given context and that’s it, hence no change has emerged in this reality. To read more about how this is in the process of being changed to an actual revolution, read an Economist’s Journey To Life.

 

It is still fascinating to me to see people appeasing and kneeling at the sight of these artifacts, crying in front of these clay representations of virgins, saints and any other ‘doll-like’ figure that could represent that character from that passage that they thought was ‘divine’ in nature – and that certainly always lead to seeking this ‘divinity’ within ourselves, learned to curse and deny and conceal all the negative and as such, keep walking to ‘create’ the kingdom of God/Money the ‘Positive’ in this world. One can thus see how this has become the foundation of our current ‘civilization’ : see pretty pictures, attach some ‘great value’ to that which entails great abuse, extrapolate the Value of Life as Equals and create a hierarchical system wherein one has to accept great suffering to get to god. Sounds familiar? Yes, life is a struggle and you’ll have to endure sweat, blood and tears to ‘make it’ in this life. These are the laws of our current hierarchical system of abuse as well as the religious precepts that we have blindly followed– and this has become the foundation to the vast majority of a nation blinded by religion and still believing that through prayer this world will get better and they will get what they require to live, which is money.

Is ‘God/ Religion/ Money’ to blame then? Not at all, it has always been ourselves that created such entities, it has only been ourselves that followed through with such forms of separation while being embodying the answer to all life: the physical, life in equality. This is thus not a point to condemn but mostly a point to expose in order to see what type of religious-systems we’re still following and Money as the current construct it exists as is certainly no different to any form of religion that we believe is what’s best for all, while it has always proven to Not be so as this world and our entire history of ‘venerating gods’ have demonstrated already.

How long will we continue to value metals, paper, wood, oils, stones shaped into the form of gods/money more than life itself? how long will we continue to be controlled by these symbols and totems that can only signify a point of separation and abuse toward each other?

Investigate the Equal Money System where all false gods will cease to exist and Life will be recognized as who we are in Equality: giving and receiving what we require to live and never again reduce ourselves to being servants of abuse.

 

 

“Everything Works-together like a Conspiracy of Synchronicities. Constantly Sending the Message: “Obey – you are Imperfect”, “You’re Born in Sin”, “You’re Not Good Enough”, “the World can’t Change”, “Accept what is Here” – and then, you are Given an ‘Answer’, an Illusion as Consciousness as Religion, as Spirituality, through which you can Escape, Waiting for Death as the ‘Great Escape’ to go to ‘Another World’, apparently, to a ‘Better Life’, apparently, which obviously, if you Study the Law of Physics: Is Impossible. There Is Only That which you Are and Allow – Even Beyond this, because: ‘Magically’, your State of Energy don’t Change, ‘Magically’ your State of Being don’t Change, it is What it is Now and what you Accept Now; and if you Do Not Understand the Most Basic Principles of What makes it Possible for you to be Consciousness, to have a Thought, to have a Feeling, to have Emotion: If you don’t Understand That even – How could you Ever be Free?” – Bernard Poolman*

 

Further Support:

 

Blogs:

 

Interviews:


271. Sacred Art: the Key to Understanding Reality

 

When I studied visual arts, one goes through the art history and sees how Art had gotten to a point of ‘divine activity’ at the time when the church essentially became this powerful entity within society that could afford to pay for all the works that all our ‘great artists’ have created and as such artists became equally important along with the meaning/ purpose of such creations, which in this case as we can all see and witness, had to do with sacred art: venerating gods that never existed but in the minds of the human beings that realized they could make profit out of such belief systems.

 

“Interestingly enough, where these ‘Love and Lighters’ should have Transcended this Message and Brought-about Practical Changes in the Physical Reality – they Create an Alternate Reality, and start to Claim and Impose that the Alternate Reality is the ‘Real Reality’, and that the Real Reality is the Illusion. And then End-up Escaping from this Constant-Message, making ‘The Best of What is Here’ and bringing about No Change in spite of Astounding Evidence to the Effect that the Physical World is Real like for instance, Pain, Starvation, Sex, Food, Waste – you name it, there’s So Many Examples that Each One is Subject to that Proves that the Physical is Real and that the Mind Illusion through which One Escape from this Reality, is Not.” – Bernard Poolman*

 

I went to some museums yesterday with a family member that had no access to such ‘exuberant expressions’ of the baroque colonial art that exists in the city I was born in, even though he lives in the same country. To me, these expressions were the ‘default’ type of stuff to look at in the streets where you can this type of architecture everywhere downtown, along with these exuberant churches everywhere completely filled with gold inside and the most majestic type of constructions and sacred art that is revered by all people coming from all over the world to witness what type of ‘greatness’ and ‘beauty’ this is supposed to mean/be.

 

As I was going through these collections of ‘sacred art,’ I realized to what extent this was all a proof of how we have never praised an actual godliness as an actual consideration of LIFE in Equality, but only have revered and deified the sense of value/worth that we have adjudicated to things that are part of this Earth just as anything else – like gold and gods or gold as god- we have all of these objects with gold and we’re all supposed to be impressed by that just because ‘It’s made of gold. I mean, look back within your life-experience when was it that you learned to treat gold as if it was this ‘precious thing’? And as such from that moment on, we learned that having gold in ourselves as jewelry, artifacts, coins or as part of your ‘wealth’ was something that gave you a ‘moreness’ within your personal wealth/money and ‘ownership right’ that gives you a certain status in society – or you maybe were not aware of this all and had no sense of wealth because gold was never around and only found out about it later on in the money-system.

 

Now, link this gold with representations of Jesus/ Saints/ Crosses and all things that have been prostituted to be sold as part of ‘sacred art’ and what do you get? The most ‘exquisite’ and ‘valuable’ items in the art world – why? Have a look at  your great museums, it is only from a century and a half ago that art stopped being linked to a religious association to become more of a supposed ‘self expression,’ and even that has currently once again been diminished to the ‘market forces’ – our other god which is Money -that are also currently determining what type of Art we can consider as ‘masterpieces’ which is usually a meaning of what’s worth buying/selling and what’s not.

 

Well, as I watched these bleeding Jesus’ representations wearing crowns of gold I could not help but laugh at the blatant abuse and stupidity that we have come to cage in these glass containers as ‘sacred objects’ and museum-type of items to admire. Sure, it’s got a whole lot of work in it, but let’s face it: they got to such museum-relic type of status because of:

1. The value we have all agreed to give to gold as this supreme metal godly power = money

2. The representation of Jesus on the Cross/ Jesus Bleeding/ Self-Flagellating Monks and Saints/ Crying Virgins in repent-mode as something ‘sacred’ and ‘godly’ while elevating such ‘sinning’ expressions to something ‘cool’ to have around your “living room” in the 18th century.

 

What a nice way to elevate god/religion to this ‘godly status’ by linking gold/silver to sacred objects, isn’t it?

Now, we can apply the same two points above to virtually everything that we are currently buying/selling in our world. There is always the ‘meaning’ that we give to things – which deals with how we have defined things in our reality, how we value them, how we define ourselves according to that which we buy/ consume/ own and then there’s the ‘market value’ which is the price/money that one has to give in order to buy such thing and trivializing it all according to belief systems, to perceptions and ideals of what we ‘think’ and have become so used to valuing as ‘superior’ or ‘more’ than ourselves, such as the idea of a god in this case and some expression that is shaped/molded to suit the needs of some people to have these objects to satisfy a particular reality-construct of ‘superiority,’ such as what god/religion has become. And in the city where I lived in all my life, that is the ‘platform’ upon which you walk in every moment in the old-side of the city– it is the ‘city of angels’ and just by looking at the art created from the 18th century up to the past century, you can get quite a clear perspective of what has Shaped and Molded the people here, which is a religion wherein the imposition of symbols that denote suffering, that one has created a relationship of ‘guilt’ toward and ‘remorse’ have been ‘spiffed up’ to be made by slaves that dealt with ways to shape gold, silver, ivory, ‘precious metals’ and woods and stones to elevate Christianity/Catholicism to a capitalist-golden status upon this world-system.

 

So, in looking at this type of ‘sacred art’ one can see a very interesting configuration of what we have come to value: a bleeding ivory representation of some human carrying an ebony cross with incrustations of jade, ‘beautifully’ shaped  – all these paintings of saints with suffering faces, all these representations of Jesus wearing golden robes and gold-crowns ‘in heaven’ I mean, really? Do You think that Jesus had anything to do with implementing this narcissistic self-marketing image of himself with such vain attributions to a single metal like ‘gold’ signifying the ‘godly’ in him? No, in the first place he didn’t ever even want to be summoned as some type of higher force on Earth, everyone got it wrong, and all of this museum-type of artworks are the result of slaves that are only recognized as ‘anonymous’ in the creation of such ‘sacred works for the lord,’ a lord that only exists in the well-kept treasury of what has become one of the most wealthiest states on earth as the Vatican. Really, I have become so used to seeing people that can have an empty stomach and shoe-less entering these opulent baroque filled with gold rock constructions to pray for them to have some money to eat… what’s wrong with this picture!? And this is seen as ‘Devotion’?  Come on, give me a freaking break.

 

Expression of any form/kind must be an actual representation of who we are as living beings, which implies that no more gods/deities will be shaped with matters of the Earth that we are abusing to create this ‘pile of shit’ as our current world of ‘marvels’ while kids starve. Instead we will always use what is here in order to enjoy ourselves within the process of creating something that we can appreciate as an extension/expression of someone’s moment/time in their lives, and I mean, if there is something I appreciate in my reality is exchanging works of art for no money but the sheer appreciation we have for each other’s works – that’s what actually should matter: making of expression an available activity for all beings equally as we are all human beings, we can all develop skills that can be shared with others, just the same way that we share our words here or in videos or communicating with each other – we do not ‘sell’ our coffee-shop talks wherein we share with one another ourselves, so why have we created this world in a way wherein we have elevated what is of this Earth to a godly/golden status for profit? That’s because of Self-Interest and the belief that we could be gods/more than others through our money and ownership power –

 

All of this will all be regulated and implemented in the Equal Money Capitalism in order to Finally place a nice Stop to all of our godly delusions and instead, learn how to Live/Coexist and really Thrive within the realization that there is no such thing as god, there is no such thing as ‘higher powers’ endowed to a metal like gold or any other holy-belief endowed to human expression, it is ourselves, our work, our creativity that which should be regarded as honorable and the real capital in this reality, just as Joseph Beuys said: “Art = Capital, Creativity = Capital”  and Capital = Life as we say – full circle.

 

Further Support:

 

There are more threads to this type of ‘sacred art’ and I’ll continue talking about that

Vlog:

Blogs:

 

To understand to what level we have prostituted Jesus and his message:


77. I Can’t Get No Satisfaction

 

Disenchantment of my Own Expectations

The disenchantment experienced within art school after the first year came up as an outflow of me having based my decision to study art from a desire to experience all the points that I have described in the previous blogs, which meant that because and due to my starting point not being that of a self-directive decision, I experienced disillusionment in every class I’d take, while holding the desire for something/ someone to fulfill this yearning to get to a point of satisfaction. This lead me to spend most of my first year extensively imbued in spirituality as a means to ‘compensate’ that which the art career was not ‘giving me’ from the get go, which is in fact my own manipulation from what I desired to get/ obtain from and through the ‘art experienced’ based on all the expectations I had formulated only in my mind about art, art school and myself being ‘in the right spot’ this time, only to realize that I was experiencing myself as in the beginning of literature wherein I started developing the same backchat to justify my ‘dissatisfaction’ with the career. (Read through 72. My Career Choice where I disclose this experience)

 

And so, here I walk one of those various moments I had while going through school and specifically the painting workshop I attended, which was supposed to be my ‘forte’ point within my ‘skills’ –

 

Pattern: talking myself into thinking that ‘this school is not good enough for me/ is not what I accepted’ which is the usual backchat I would form whenever I would simply opt to drop out and move onto something else based on not getting the ‘satisfaction’ from it that I was expecting.

 

Pollock

2006

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to get as early as possible to my painting workshop from the starting point of keeping this definition of myself as being ‘responsible’ and ‘attentive’ in school, yet wanting to ‘earn my right’ to leave after 3 hours exactly so that I could go to the library instead and read about the new age, esoteric books and religions that I considered were ‘more important’ than the workshop itself, which is how from the first year of being In art school, I began creating these ideas of myself not being fulfilled/ wanting something more ‘substantial’ based on the expectations I had created when deciding to study art and dropping out of literature. Within this essentially starting to repeat the same pattern of ‘dissatisfaction with my choice’ and seeking something else that would be more ‘fulfilling’ to get my positive experience, which is how I got myself into researching religions, spirituality and the occult as a result of me ‘going deeper’ into the ultimate desire of knowing it all as the mysteries of existence which I am now in fact able to hear and would have never gotten in any books in that library, lol.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to work within the painting workshop from the starting point of ‘getting things done to get a grade’ and losing all interest because of my own projections upon the teacher and fellow students as not being there with the same enthusiasm I thought I was attending school with, which in fact was a self-belief to cover up the fact that I simply was shifting my point of attention from art to spirituality/ or a mix of the two which could satisfy my desire to know.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to judge my fellow mates in the workshop as looking ‘down’ and comparing myself to be rather positive and enthusiastic about painting, which is how I started creating backchat about the entire workshop not being ‘fulfilling’ or a ‘good environment’ to create, taking my observations upon others as ‘real’ and believing that being ‘creating’ with such people around me was not ‘beneficial’ for my ‘inspiration,’ thus beginning to loath going to such workshop and started only going to it for mere obligation to preserve my self-idea as a responsible being.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself and my works within the starting point of competition toward others’ wherein I clearly talked myself into superiority, believing that ‘my paintings were great’ and that others’ paintings were simply bad and wrong, which is all based on my desires to fulfill this idea of myself as being an ‘innate artist’ and with ‘real talent’ which was all based on the definitions, judgments and self-belief created by and through what I would get from friends and family and others around me which I described in here 75. Bursting Dreams to Live Reality

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to deliberately choose a workshop that I knew was not that ‘popular based on my idea of then having ‘less competition’ there and so ensuring in my mind that I could ‘stand above others’ with my work/ paintings, wherein I actually sabotaged my opportunity to learn just because of starting participating in such workshop from the desire to be recognized and ‘stand above others’ works’ which all crumbled down due to and because of not getting such ‘satisfaction’ I was seeking from my teacher and fellow mates, which lead me to add another point to the entire disillusion because I was not being equally-praised as people in my world – such as friends/ family – had expressed toward ‘my work.’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to project blame onto the teacher when seeing him doing his own artwork while and during the ‘class’ or workshop-time, based on the expectation I had of teachers showing you/ sharing their painting secrets and techniques and everything else which I expected, and because I didn’t get that, I started believing that I was in the wrong workshop and that I had completely failed at choosing teacher – but in fact, it all stemmed from this immediate dissatisfaction that I started experiencing toward ‘studying art’ overall, after the first year and being in the beginning of the second year wherein my fulfillment started veering toward spirituality, once again repeating the pattern of thinking I had made the ‘wrong choice’ again.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that my teacher did not care about what I was doing and not giving a fuck about anyone else there, without realizing that I was simply expecting to be directed and get the feedback that I wanted based on expectations of him toward my work, which was all ego based as in only considering my own work as something ‘already great’ and having only to ‘perfect it’ in school, which was all a belief and never really Real, therefore whenever I did not get my desires fulfilled in the workshop, I started building disillusionment toward the entire career overall, giving up and just going there because ‘I had to’ and not as a self-directive decision of living my ‘choice’ in fact.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to start backchatting about ‘art school’ altogether and thinking that I could instead just be at home, painting by my own and seeing no point in going to art school if I was not in fact going to get any direct guidance by the teacher, which is how I would then compound the judgments toward people not caring at all and starting to absorb such ideas about others into myself as ‘depression,’ blaming the environment as being Not-supportive at all.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to start building regret about my career choice – yet again – when seeing that I was only going there to ‘fill in the assistance list’ and being there 3 hours only to then immediately go to the library or home to read that which was ‘calling my attention’ the most which was spirituality, religions, philosophy and the occult, and in this starting to go to school with no actual disposition to learn and stay there enough to develop skills, but simply ‘passing through the classes’ because I simply knew I could not now repent and say that I did not want to study art any longer.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to talk myself into regret when thinking ‘painting used to be my thing and the most enjoyable time in my life and now, it’s so sad’ based on my self-created experience in this workshop, wherein I see and realize that I started blaming ‘the academy’ for ‘killing inspiration’ and feeling just like another robot in the ford-t production line based on my initial ideals of what art school would be like, seeking to fulfill my ego’s desire to immediately be recognized as this ‘great artist’ and get all the props for my ego to then be able to say that ‘art school is great!’ – but because I did not get it, I simply started losing interest.

 

This is part of the pattern of ‘dissing’ that which is not feeling me enough energy any longer thus

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to start dissing art school, the teachers, the workshop mates, school mates and the entire art school scenario as lame and sad and depressing, simply because it was not giving Me what I had expected as this constant fulfillment of compliments and judgments that could ‘highlight my work’ above others’ and in this, starting to think and justify my experience with thoughts like ‘No wonder academy fucks all creativity and true passion to create’ which is a self-belief according to expectations and my usual way of blaming others for what I would be creating and experiencing within myself – thus it had Nothing to do with art school itself, people or the teacher but it was all myself not getting the necessary energy for me to continue being ‘happy’ within it, which is actually cool because if I had gotten my ego-nurturing, I would have probably elevated myself to a semi-god status wherein I would have only been moved by ‘desire for fame and fortune’ and not sought another way which is how in the middle of that first year in painting workshop, I found Desteni.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that it was a waste of time going to such workshop/ school in general, wherein I started going and leaving just exactly on the minimum of 3 hour stay there, and then rushing back to my house to ‘do my thing’ and continue studying and getting deep into spirituality, devouring books and anything that I could deem as ‘superior’ and of ‘utmost importance’ in comparison to art, which shows how I was only energetically driven to study one thing and another after another based on the amount of satisfaction as positive-energy experience that I could get from ‘my studies/ my religion/ my desires’ being fulfilled or not.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be counting the minutes till it was ‘safe to leave’ and place my name on the list and say goodbye with such excitement, as if I was attending some community work given after you’ve been in prison and only paying your sentence somehow, which became a very uncomfortable situation until I simply stopped that year in the painting workshop, which I see and realize that was simply the cannon fodder I used in that time of absolute and extreme self-dissatisfaction, lostness, disillusionment, depression and self suppression through weed to the utmost degree, that I can barely remember myself back then, and that if it wasn’t for all the pictures I took that time and the writings, I would have no remembrance of myself and my experience in that time, which was absolutely self-created hell.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to start seeking my ‘own fame and fortune’ by taking photographs by myself, deliberately ‘spiting’ the art school point by not taking photography workshop in the belief that ‘I can do this by myself/ on my own, I don’t require school’ – which was absolutely conceited from myself – and eventually ‘hitting the jackpot’ wherein all the dissatisfaction in ‘school’ was even more enhanced and perceived as a ‘waste of time,’ when being invited to exhibit my ‘independent photography works’ in another country, which was a sudden rush of self-importance and fame that was fulfilling ‘at last’ the dreams that I’ve had with regards to someone suddenly ‘knocking on my door and asking me to show my work somewhere else in the world’ – which did happen and lead me to have my short-lived experience of fame and art-world experience that I had dreamed of for a long time.

 

In the next post I will share my ‘fame and fortune’ experience lol and how it changed my life to the realization of what it Really meant to be ‘in’ the artworld and how I started experiencing myself being simply ‘in the wrong profession’ yet again… lol

 

2006

Self Corrective Statements:

When and as I see myself talking to me in my mind about ‘being in the wrong place/ having made the wrong decisions’ I stop and I breathe – I recognize the stupidity loop for what it is as me starting to diss something based on the expectations that I had built around something/ someone without taking the necessary time and space to actually walk it in a self-supportive manner, which means: not building backchat about my decision and my choices, but instead working through with it practically with no judgment wherein I can actually assess what is supportive, what is not supportive and then, make decisions based on this practical living experience, instead of just giving up at the least ‘drop of energy’ as me not getting the necessary ‘positivity’ around a point to keep going.

 

When and as I see myself being in a place, walking my decision and starting to think that ‘I’ve made the wrong choices’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is a pattern of me beginning to see everything through the ‘I want to drop out ‘ filter wherein when starting to criticize and judge others as depressive and not good enough for me, indicates that I am in fact creating a negativity based on me not getting my ‘initial fix’ from the beginning as a positive energy experience that I always sought to get, at all times from and of everything I participated in.

 

When and as I see myself projecting my own judgments upon people/ the environment as it ‘not being supportive’ for me to develop my abilities, I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is one Huge excuse that I’ve used to drop out from studies, not following through because of believing that ‘everyone else is too slow in comparison to me,’ which is how within my impatience I have dropped out from studies such as learning languages, dancing and guitar lessons wherein I thought that having to ‘wait’ for an entire group to ‘catch up’ was a waste of time and money – thus dropping out and eventually only learning things half way, always being dissatisfied with any form of education, due to how I had lived in a school with only 6 classmates in elementary school at the very end, which allowed us to go into topics and material that was supposed to be learned in the following two years of junior high school, which is why I developed this constant desire to ‘consume knowledge’ in order to be ‘ahead’ of the rest, never considering what being a part of the group implies, but simply wanting to ‘get it all done fast and first,’ all of it being a primary mechanism to fulfill and support my ego.

 

When and as I see myself backchatting about others and judging them as ‘too slow to understand/ to act’ I stop and I breathe, I realize that I have been impatient my entire life and that building such backchat toward others only lead me to drop out and end up nowhere when believing that people are not ‘moving as fast as they should,’ according to my mind’s standards of learning/ working and ‘doing’ in the system, which is how I became displeased with living in this country with what I judged as extremely lazy people, never taking such judgment back to myself to see where in my world I was doing the same.

 

When and as I see myself placing me in a position wherein I am not ‘competing’ against what I deem as ‘strong people’/ ‘potential rivals,’ I stop and I breathe – I realize how I have deliberately sabotaged my opportunities of self-expansion and growth every time that I would make decisions based on seeing ‘where I can remain on top/ being the best’ and ensuring I would have no ‘strong opponents’ or ‘rivals’ based on the superiority and desire for recognition that I lived through and by in my life, wherein I would ‘watch out the field’ for competition and within that existing only to ‘remain’ on top, and never daring to actually see how within such stance I would only in fact exist as fear of loss of an apparent ‘special place/ position’ in my world, which is unacceptable when we look at how this entire world is essentially propagating and promoting competition as survival mode, which is how the entire world is able to continue going: through instigating competition, comparison, rivalry as eventual wars and the ultimate separation between who we are as one and equal, all because of just one point wanting to be ‘above everyone else,’ which became the way that we have divided and separated ourselves into a hierarchy that is not supporting or regarding all beings as equals, which translates currently to a monetary system that is Not supporting all beings equally.

 

When and as I see myself projecting blame onto teachers/ people that I had placed as ‘authority’ to give me the tools to work with/ give me the fulfillment of what I want as the ideal of proper education, I stop and I breathe – I realize that it is my responsibility to support myself to ensure that I am expanding myself to learn and cooperate within the group wherein I do not wait for orders/ feedback to do what I am required to be done, but that I become my directive principle at all times in common sense = considering what is best for all – and if I require further support, ensure that I speak up and communicate about it, instead of just remaining quiet and festering about it in my own mind without daring to actually confront the situation, directing it to a best for all outcome at all times.

 

I realize that I have always ‘waited ‘for the authority to ‘let me know what to do’ in schools and studies, which is how I became the ‘obedient’ system person that is usually praised because of not being willing to stand up to the authority and thus, remain properly happily enslaved to ‘waiting for others to let me know what to do,’ instead of me taking the initiative to do it for and by myself, now within the consideration of what is best for all and the impact/ outflow consequence that my decisions will have upon myself, my own life and that of others in equality.

 

When and as I see myself starting to feel ‘uncomfortable’ in a particular place/ scenario, I stop and I breathe – before giving head to my own backchat to diss everything and everyone around me, I ensure I walk the point within myself to see where and how I am in fact uncomfortable and not satisfied with myself and my application, instead of projecting as blame onto and toward others wherein I remain as the ‘victim’ of it all, which is unacceptable. Thus I take responsibility for my experience at all times, ensuring that I cross reference the point with at least another being as to share how it is that I am experiencing and what I have seen and realized as ‘my creation’ – as to ensure that if there are actual changes to be directed in the ‘outside’ of myself as the event / situation I am in, we can then directly work to establish a more proper way of directing a point instead of only remaining as individual islands backchatting about it and not speaking up to direct the point to a best for all outcome.

 

When and as I see myself being deliberately attempting to ‘do things my way’ as a way to spite that which is no longer giving me the ‘satisfaction ‘that I want/ need and require in my experience, I stop and I breathe – I realize that whatever decision and direction I take from this starting point is prone to fail, as the starting of it is that of reacting to a point that I just swept aside and jump onto another point as ‘the solution,’ without having first investigated Why and How I lead myself to ‘diss’ one point, wherein I ensure that I have in fact done all I can to ‘make the point work’ before deciding to part ways/ stop participating in something/ with someone in any given event/ situation, and this way, ensuring that the decisions taken to ‘move on’ to another point are in fact well informed, tested, tried out to all its various possibilities and also referenced by at least another 2 human beings to ensure that I have at least 2 other perspectives on ‘where I am’ in my world and what I am looking at doing/ proceeding with, to ensure that I no longer exist in the ego of ‘I can do it by myself, my way will always be the ‘right way,’ which is learning to consider others in my decisions at all times, walking a self-directive point to not only take ‘me’ into consideration within decisions, but also what is best for all at all times.

 

I commit myself to continue debunking the very basic patterns that have marked my participation in this world as an ego that sought a constant fulfillment of and as the positive energy experience and within this, ensuring that all decisions I make in my life are not based on energy / from the starting point of a positive energetic experience, but are in fact the result of me having assessed an studied the practicality of the decision, the possible outcomes and reality-consequences that can be seen through writing, applying Self Forgiveness and Self-Corrective statements to remove the basic conditions such as ‘getting a positive energy experience’ from the decisions I make and take in my life. This can allow me to stop only acting/ moving based on the expectation of a positive energy experience and instead, learn what Self-movement and a self-directive decision actually implies, wherein positive energetic experiences are no longer the ‘god’ I am looking for in my life, but instead walk here honoring life in and as myself as the physical body that I am.

 

For further support on how to walk your process of Self-Forgiveness:

Desteni Forum

Read the articles at Desteni website

and our blogs at Journey To Life Reddit

thanks for reading

 

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Blah! 2006

 

Blogs:

Interview!

Reptilian – The Mind is the Artist and the Physical its Canvas – Part 62

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