Tag Archives: self awareness

618. Being Taken for a Ride vs. Taking the Wheel and Driving Yourself

Or learning how to slow down, calm down and get out of anxious ingrained ways of behaving.

I’ve been becoming more and more aware of the very – very – ingrained aspects in me that have become so much so ‘how I am’ and ‘my nature’ that I had overlooked, that I hadn’t directly intervened because, in a way, I had not been aware of it as much, or had not seen it as something that would ‘affect’ others, because in my mind I was just being ‘the best I can be’… but is it really? Lol

We were discussing in today’s group chat  about the addictive nature that we create towards our emotions – or feelings – and how we have to directly intervene and direct ourselves, actually take the wheel whenever we are being ‘driven’ by something and it’s not us driving, sitting at the wheel and directing where we want to go and who we want to be in every moment of our lives.

The word autopilot is a keyword for me whenever I see I am in such kind of ‘addictive’ patterns which interestingly enough do not involve actually ‘doing’ something in particular hat I am addicted to – but more like a state of being. The reality is that I had not questioned this ‘way of being’ as much before and I am quite thankful that I have someone in my life that is daring to point out all of the various – many – times when I go into this ‘antsy’mode,  yes, a rushing-mode, almost like a state of being where I constantly have to be ‘on the run’ to do something even if I don’t actually have to.

I’ve noticed how I am blind to this for some months now and it is quite shocking at times that if it wasn’t because of my partner saying ‘hey, sloooow doooown’ or ‘what’s the rush?’ or ‘caaalm doooown’ and holding me for a moment – lol – I would not be as aware of it because of being so used to doing things in ‘fast mode’ and it has been so much of ‘my way of being’ that I’ve seen it as part of my traits, a good trait in fact to be ‘always on time’, being fast, accurate, efficient, etc. Nothing wrong with those words though! But I definitely know WHO I am when I am living those words through this energy-driven mode, which actually happens when I consider I am on autopilot mode and being taken for a ride by these ingrained lifelong ‘ways of being’ which I am quite aware I copied from my parents as well.

So, during today’s chat I brought up the analogy of how we have to be more directive in taking the wheel and driving ourselves, directing ourselves to what we want to do and how we want to live those moments, instead of riding in the back of the car and ‘being taken for a ride’ without any awareness of our state of being, of how we may be going down ‘the same old road’ that we know leads nowhere but sabotage, despair, inaction or just problems without solution.

If I look at myself as a back rider, I don’t have to pay attention or decide which way to go or be fully knowing where I am going or how to get there, I’m just being ‘driven’ by something or someone else. Being in the driver’s seat requires my full attention, full awareness on every single detail from how to operate the car, the direction, the way to get there, the timing, the traffic, other cars, fuel, …. Etc. Yes, yes, eventually that also becomes ‘automated’ but the point here is to understand the difference of riding in the backseat within ourselves and in our minds where we just ‘repeat’ ourselves in addictive states of being and experiences that we no longer question – even if we know we are compromising our lives and that of others in one way or another with our actions or inactions – and how we can instead remind ourselves to be the driver, the one that directs, that is intervening directly on the way to go, that tests out new routes if the ‘same old ones’ are leading us to places and states of being that we know are detrimental to our lives. It requires such responsibility of deciding to take the wheel, it’s not limiting, it is expansive.

I was actually discussing that with my partner recently, and we were wondering about how there’s many people that prefer to do the least or stay the same because it seems ‘easier’ or ‘more comfortable’ when in fact, doing the most and pushing to do the best, and developing discipline and adding new challenges to our lives is the one thing that makes one grow the most. This is a bit out of topic but we also talked about how most relationships get into big problems right after the honey moon phase, and that’s because everyone starts the relationship or even prepares to ‘get the person’ by becoming the ‘best version of themselves’ for a moment, to impress, to attract the other person and so ‘play safe’ as they say, meaning they appear to be nice, loving, hard working, kind, responsible, adamant, etc. And once that the ‘prey has been caught’ as in establishing a relationship with each other, bam! The reality – the real-reality unfortunately – of each other comes out in full force, because it becomes quite difficult to maintain a façade of being better than ‘one actually is.’ It is unfortunate thought that this ‘how one actually is’ means the worst version of ourselves, but hey we are here to become aware of these accepted patterns in society and be able to change them.

That’s when people start to ‘show their true colors’ and embark themselves in endless fights with destructive behavior towards one another because one or the other – or both – are not really who they ‘appeared’ to be. Whereas, as he shared, he conceived a relationship as a point of responsibility that would actually, yes, be more demanding and a point of responsibility, but for the best. I like this approach as well because it definitely means one has to intervene, to change, to adapt, to upgrade, to become the driver, to actually truly use that relationship as an opportunity to become in fact a better person, and this is what I’m focusing on.

It is for me –a person that has dedicated some 10 years of her life to develop self-awareness and such – quite a shocker at times to see these very ingrained patterns of rushing, being ‘antsy’ as in wanting things fast, now, being very demanding and exigent with others or within a situation… very controlling to say the least. It’s great that there’s a person that can say ‘yes I knew you were like that, but I decided to be with you anyways’, because this has opened up the possibility for me to become aware of my patterns, to not take it personally or see it as ‘faulty’ or wrong things within me – even if I get shocked at times by it – I do remind myself why I am the way I am, I know my background at home, I am aware how I picked up all of these ‘ways of being’ from both my parents in general, I know there’s nothing or no one to blame but to take responsibility for it myself now. And what assists a lot is to be able to see a person first hand on how they deal with the same situation in such a different way, with calm, patience, in a more ‘chilled’ manner, because that’s precisely the example I didn’t have at home, but now I do in a way so, that’s for the best because one can then look at ways in which the person acts and behaves and learn from how it can be done, test out at least if it works for me to act differently in situations where I would usually be in antsy mode.

Another point is that, at first, when he would point out these things to me, there was a slight reaction of ‘How dare you say that to Me?’ lol, yes because I had this big ego idea of being the one that is working on self, that is a ‘very self-aware person’, but I had to immediately take the guard down and put on my humbleness shoes and admit myself to see what he was saying and picking up from my attitude, and reflect back to say ‘yes, it is so, that’s what I’m doing in fact’ and within that, start realizing the many aspects that I had no way of ‘cross-checking’ before because there had been no one that dared to question those ways of being before, because in my mind I was just being ‘the best’ to my ability – but I had overlooked the tension, the anxiety, the rushing, the impatience that usually accompanies that ‘dutiful’ and ‘disciplined’ manner I can have a times, so that’s not a way to live those words.

So, because I am grateful for having that in my life currently, the least I can do is to share that as well with people I consider I have the ability to give feedback to. Sometimes people might react to it, but at least I’ve said it, it is then something they can look at or throw away. My responsibility is to test out the waters and see with whom I can give that kind of feedback – who is open for it – and where to ‘keep shut’ because at times, yes,  I do tend to be too ‘intervening’ with others – to say it in one way, lol – and some people do get genuinely offended by my questions about what their experience might be in a moment. I can only learn from it, just like with everything. But for now I stick to having that opening of feedback with my partner and also at times with my mother, who actually gives that ‘in the moment’ feedback based on very subtle behaviors that can only be picked up by someone that has been ‘there’ seeing you growing for most of your life – yep, it is so, she nails it every time, so I at times still deny it but that’s when I know I am suppressing something – so, now I’m learning to admit it and be willing to open up about it.

We all can do this no matter what kind of interaction with others we have. Even if it’s only one or a few people you relate to on a daily basis, each interaction with each kind of person can assist us to see more of ourselves. Some may give direct feedback, some may not dare to say it, but we can always cross-reference our experiences with them to take note of what created a subtle ‘shock’ in us, meaning, a moment where something just didn’t ‘feel right’ or ‘sit right’ and made us react, or where we saw that others reacted, so that we can cross-reference how one acted in such moments.

But, I must say that by being alone or being with a person that is not daring to say straight feedback to me would have created more ‘untold’ reactions and consequences, a longer road for me to realize: “man, this is affecting other’s experience around me, I need to chill out, I need to slow down, I need to stop being so controlling, I need to stop being so exigent and ‘right-here-right-now’ type of demanding person that I’ve become.’ So, my suggestion – very personal – if you are the kind of person that is ready for full on – and in your face- feedback about our bits here and there that we need to change or become aware of, then align with people in your life that are on the same page and will take nothing personal about it, but instead be grateful for that kind of communication, because it is something I appreciate a lot, something I kind of longed for in a relationship so, I aligned with someone that would be in the same page of how to take feedback and work with it. 

And yes, at times a hug or a simple point of touch can assist me to ground myself in those moments – yes it may sound like I have some kind of mental problem that needs to be ‘calmed down’ with a pat on the back, lol! – But! I’ve found it is actually supportive to make it that physically visible for me, because it becomes a very visible to myself and others, like a wake up call of ‘Holy crap! I’ve been in autopilot just running the ‘rushy mode’ or the ‘antsy mode’ or ‘bossy mode’ and now I got my wake up call.

Now the point is not to create dependency or even a sort of a ‘relationship dynamic’ to always have to be calmed down or pointed out that I am rushing or I am being demanding, or that I need to chill out. Nope, the point is to be able to direct myself so that I can in fact stand up to my standards which I tend to project onto others or situations outside of myself. If I am indeed exigent, I need to be congruent and apply that to myself first. So I can apply the word in being exigent to no longer have to be told that I need to chill out and slow down, but step into the driver’s seat to direct myself, so that my interaction can also open up to seeing more of myself within the interactions that I have with my partner and others in my life.

All I can share at the moment is to be able to – or dare – to create an agreement with someone that you are close with to say the facts about what one is seeing in another. Sometimes I just say things and I completely assume and misread the situation, but it’s ok, no one takes it personally, I’m just clarified about the situation and I learn to ask things differently instead of asking within assumption. Sometimes I assume too much and don’t communicate, that is usually the worst, so I take that step to ask directly and go creating that confidence to have that open communication with someone in the bits that we notice about one another, and know that we are made aware of these things not as a judgment or a point to be spiteful about, but as things that we know we can become aware of, discuss and decide to change within ourselves.

So how am I changing it? By ensuring I am not tensing up my body when doing things, being ok with not ‘having to be doing’ something I’ve defined as ‘productive’ all the time and enjoying a simple moment of eating, walking outside, watching something in the internet that is for fun or entertainment, to enjoy seemingly ‘silly’ conversations – lol – to become creative in what I can make for food, to remind myself I don’t have to pressure myself to do things, but simply do them, without the energy-rush. To remind myself that whenever I feel like I want to go home already when being outside, it is merely a habit because there is nothing really ‘pressing’ for me to be at home for most of the times, it’s just a habit that tends to kick in as a mode of rushing to get back to some kind of ‘comfort zone.’ Also to not demand to others to act in what I believe is ‘the best way’ because some people are just not up for it and will react to it, and I have to be ‘ok’ with it no matter how it may make common sense – I tend to do this with strangers, not a good idea, so learning to read the different situations better, lol.

So this is about changing the way I live the moments, because in my case it’s about the inner experience, how I become tense within my body when doing things or when knowing I have to get to do something and putting some kind of extra pressure that is Not needed at all. I simply have to take the wheel and direct myself to do it. It is about removing this almost addictive ‘stress’ that I’ve become so used to carrying – shall I say burdening myself with – which comes through in the way I move and express which seems a bit too ‘fast’ or ‘erratic’ at times for some, lol, I do laugh at being calmed down in such moments, but I do need to become more aware of this so as to not make it a part of my personality, because I know my body is not at ease when being in that mode. It happens because I am ‘up there’ in the autopilot – whereas I know when I am here, stable, directive – there’s actually calm, a slowness, an ‘everything is alright’ within me – which is not a sense of delusion, but an actual cross reference of walking my day according to what I have to do and so de-pressuring from the ‘burdening’ sense of rush that I have tended to attach to things.

Ok, so that’s my take on this current point of awareness of where I need to take the driver’s seat and not be ‘driven’ constantly by the rush-mode or have to be driven by someone else to the point of becoming aware of it. So it’s cool to have a cross-reference outside, yes, but then to take the wheel and not become dependent on that to change. Yes, this is part of the result of applying the Desteni support and the Eqafe recordings, some of which I will also share down here so that you can start gearing up to this ongoing process in everyone’s life on Earth. Sonrisa

 

 

How Much More Your Body Language is Saying – Body Language

Self Presentation and the Truth of You – Body Language

 

And my friend Anna’s vlog, which I could relate a lot to:

WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IN LIFE?

Slow motion

Join us in our process of Self-Expression as LIFE


529. Changing Human Relationships Starts With Ourselves

 

“When pondering the meaning of right human relations it is also helpful to conceive of the principle of sharing as a great social physician or planetary psychotherapist, one that has the power to heal in almost every possible way—by feeding the hungry and curing the diseased, mending broken families and restoring mental health, rebuilding communities and nurturing individuals to regain their confidence and creativity, and so on without end. So if you want to heal yourself as an individual or as a group, advocate for the principle of sharing to be implemented into world affairs and serve humanity by heralding Article 25 with every ounce of energy you have, thus decentralising yourself from the disease called separation and playing your part in establishing a new earth based on right human relations. –Mesbahi, Mohammed (2016). Heralding Article 25: a people’s strategy for world transformation. See more at: http://www.sharing.org/information-centre/reports/heralding-article-25-peoples-strategy-world-transformation#part v

Recently I got this book as a gift from Sonja Scherndl who was very kind in considering I would find a lot of common ground with the author’s proposal and our perspective as Equal Life Foundation and after completing it, I realized it is so that it’s the first book that I can most relate to from recent articles or books I’ve read on the topic about world economics based on the principle of sharing and satisfying what we define as Fundamental Human Rights which are in fact the basic needs that have to be covered for every human being as part of dignifying each other’s livelihood, giving to others what we’d like to be assured to receive and so create a genuine upgrade of our humanity.

I found the voice of the writer something I can relate to at times almost word by word in many aspects, specifically on topics I’ve written over the years on the subject of Human Rights and our proposals as the Equal Money System and Living Income Guaranteed; as well through my personal investigation and application of the principles of Oneness and Equality as Life, which is what the author also addresses as being part of considering ourselves as a One Humanity as well.

I was also glad to see the reference to ourselves as human beings being the origin and source of the problem – not the system, not the ‘isms’ like capitalism and the rest of it – but instead the kind of relationships that we’ve built with one another which in turn, have created the nature of the markets, the economic systems and the nature of the dog-eat-dog current form of capitalism, which is in fact a reflection of ourselves: who we are within creating the without.

Something that I’ve discovered for myself and have shared in previous blogs is that the economic problem is not really a structural problem or a matter of fixing a faulty system ‘out there’ only – it’s in fact the clear reflection of the very separation – also mentioned as such in the book – that we’ve created from one to another, and the general disregard of our equality with every other living part that is coexisting in this world, which means we are not only ‘interconnected’ but are in fact one and the same, which the author brings through with an awareness of this same source we all come from. Therefore we have to also consider and look at all the reasons why we have justified, excused and reasoned all the abuse that we’ve imposed onto each other to create inequality, poverty, consumerism, miseducation, in order to understand the source of the problem as ourselves. Meaning we have to also look at how we have all been co-creators of the problem and how this is all coming from the current nature of ourselves as humans in our thought, word and deed.

Now, interestingly enough as much as I find the reading of the book an essential walk through many of the topics that would be eye opening for people that are starting to investigate alternative solutions for world-problems, I also find the one solution proposed by the author as something that could be redefined or taken one step further close to home.

Mesbahi speaks of every human being understanding the importance of the principle of sharing the world’s resources as an expression of common sense and as a primary source for peace, for eradicating poverty, of getting out of competitive and selfish motives and in turn get to heal ourselves from how we’ve essentially conditioned each other to a survival-mode that has affected the totality of our expression and so of our human relationships. The solution proposed is to create worldwide manifestations demanding to governments to fulfill the Article 25 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, which interestingly enough also Sonja and Anja Askeland – who I have had the opportunity to interview before – wrote and published about today a linkage of it to the Universal Basic Income, which I’m very glad to read about and the article is here: Article 25 and a Universal Basic Income: the perfect match

However here I also propose something else beyond only the consideration of staging mass protests demanding these fundamental living rights.

I’ve concluded from my personal research that we require to also learn to live the principles of Oneness and Equality as Life at a very practical and realistic level in our day to day living, starting within ourselves in our own minds and in the way that we live and interact with everyone and everything around us. Because sharing is an expression, an outflow of a deeper realization and understanding which Mesbahi outlines in the book and he expresses that it is not his position to exactly say ‘how’ to create this change at an individual level in this book, which I found interestingly enough is precisely what we are focusing on directly not only as proponents of world-system solutions, but as individuals that have also committed to propose ways, tools of self-support that we are applying in order to embody these principles through practice, walking a personal process of genuinely living the principles that we also see in common sense would be best for everyone to embrace in their own hearts and minds.

What I discovered throughout my active participation and engagement throughout various proposals essentially exemplifying this principle of sharing, of making of money a rights-giver rather than a source of discord and inequality, of providing support to everyone starting with the most forgotten ones – is that the biggest resistance came not from defining all of it as impossible or utopic – but rather from people that literally would express their refusal to give to another what has been given to all of us unconditionally by the Earth. The reasons, excuses and justifications I’ve read throughout these past 9 years of actively having engaged in discussions with various people upon presenting these ideas various methods around the web were that “it won’t ever happen because there’s always going to be inequality, there’s always going to be someone making more, we cannot really ‘just share’ and there’s always going to be someone stepping forth into greed, cannot dream of equality because it doesn’t exist” and the list of excuses goes on.

That’s where I realized that along with the various movements which are very much getting into a peak currently in relation to Universal Basic Income, Share The World’s Resources – whose founder is Mesbahi – and many other independent organizations whose principles are similar, we also need to emphasize the importance of this role of Education that is also framed as an essential process of human change in our world by him:

“Thus if there appears to be an irreconcilable conflict between opposing political ideologies, the lasting solution lies not in the victory of one ‘ism’ over another, but must be found in what can unite us all through a universal acceptance of our shared humanity—which ultimately requires a new education into the true nature of the inner Self.

There is nothing sentimental or naïve about these suggestions as such an attitude to human relationships has the potential to transform society once a bulk of the population is educated to think and become aware of themselves in a more spiritual, heart-engaged and inclusive way. “

– See more at: http://www.sharing.org/information-centre/reports/heralding-article-25-peoples-strategy-world-transformation#part v

 

I certainly agree that we need to re-educate ourselves, to learn how to live and embody these principles not only of sharing, but also of considering at all times what is best for all, of developing and inculcating within ourselves an integrity, self-respect, self-honesty, self-responsibility and a consideration towards all other beings as oneself. This is by far the hardest process that I see we are already engaging in within this world, because we have allowed ourselves to be hardwired with all the opposites to all these words that I just mentioned and that could in turn create the world we all would like to live in: a world of sharing, of prosperity through cooperation, of expressing ourselves to our utmost potential, of assisting each other, of actual prosperity and expression. However, as I mentioned above, by far the biggest resistance and the biggest obstacle to do this resides in our very own minds, our very own current human nature, which is the one point that we have to find ways to open up the majority of people’s eyes to understand this, the majority that are still very much secluded in a ‘my space’ world, where only me-myself-and-my-interests exist.

What I’ve been dedicating myself for the past 9 years is precisely deprogramming all of these ingrained aspects that led me to become a person that might have cared about the world and wanted to change the world, but wasn’t willing to look back at myself to see where and how I had to take responsibility for my very own thoughts, habits and ways of living that were in fact not representing the ideals that I wanted to create out there in the world. I’ve learned that if we really want to change the nature of the world system, we have to at the same time work within ourselves to fix and create what we’d like to see out there, we have to start with ourselves, with our immediate relationships, with the choices we make on a daily basis.

Here, what I would add as an extra chapter to this educational book is adding the necessity of embodying these principles of sharing, of regarding each other as equals, of working with our own patterns of selfishness, greed, irresponsibility, competition, hatred and lack of consideration for others as a primary point of self-accountability in this process of transforming the way that we share this world and so share the world’s resources, of which from my perspective sharing resources would be a natural outflow to do if we first work to integrate the common sensical principle in each one of our minds, which surely can be done through reading this book and the many other proposals with similar views, while also verifying how it works in your own life and community.

I see it as a within and without process where we cannot wait for an education system to upgrade itself and start teaching these principles – we have to start being them, applying them, being the trail blazers that in turn as parents can raise children that are already living in family and community environments where the principle of sharing is ‘the way to live’ and do not know of ‘the ways of the old world’ who can in fact become the future of the world. This is particularly something I’ve been witnessing – from afar – with people in our community who are having children that are also now learning the new ways of a real human-kindness, the kind of people that we need to create a future that is embodying the principles of oneness and equality as life, of self-responsibility, of sharing, of being stable and common sensical human beings, of considering other beings as themselves, of being that One Humanity and so living the principles of sharing as the only way to live with one another as equals.

Therefore, I agree that the more we speak of solutions proposed along the lines of sharing in equality, the more we can start opening up possibilities that may not have existed before at the eyes of a majority – while at the same time also considering that the door towards a systemic change can also start from developing a personal awareness of who we are and what our role individually is in the context of life on Earth. This means, starting from a process of self-awareness to investigate and learn to see what we’ve become in our minds, in our lives, in our being and so walking a process to align our thoughts, our perspectives, our stance as human beings toward the principle of oneness and equality as life, of sharing in equality, of regarding others as ourselves, of self-responsibility, self-honesty, self-awareness so that with both changes taken in our hands within and without, the actual process of world change manifests not only as a ‘changed system,’ but also as a result of deciding to stand up within ourselves to do what’s best for all –  and align to the way of life as it is and shall be, which I agree with Mesbahi it is an inner-process to learn the way of the One Humanity – Oneness And Equality – and a challenging one based on my personal experience, yet it is essential if we are to take part in the new world, because we have to be the ones that place the first stones to create it, and leave a first great set of steps for generations to come.

So, I recommend to anyone this book, while considering what I share in this blog, to not forget about our day to day living which defines who we are and what we create in our world. To consider this individual process of being able to assist and support myself and many others to integrate the way of life within our day to day living, the way of self-honesty, of self-forgiveness in order to create and reach our utmost potential individually and collectively.

The only difference is I am deciding to focus form the within towards the without currently based on my personal expertise and awareness at the inner-level, yet the result is intended to be the same: creating a world that’s best for all, that can be a platform for life creation for the first time in our human existence.

I can agree this book represents what I and many more are considering very obvious and common sensical to do, but I do challenge and suggest everyone to share this kind of books with people that are generally sceptic about these topics, about changing the system, about distribution of resources as a human right – so that people can get a comprehensive view of it including a very personal purpose that I see myself and many more in this world can align to in relation to the ways to change ourselves and this world, but we need to keep expanding awareness on all of these possibilities to people that are not yet seeing the common sense of this, and so share things like this book, blogs, vlogs and any piece of media that is creating an awareness of the potential we all have to change this world through our very own change of mind and participation in these principles.

We are the ones that have this window of opportunity to wake up and do something to change things, and we don’t have to wait for these massive manifestations happening on a daily basis either, we can and also have to start within ourselves, learning to live these principles of oneness and equality, changing the nature of our human relationships and changing the nature of ourselves in our thought, word and deed, it’s the way of Jesus’ message as Mesbahi also explains, and I couldn’t agree more, that’s what we are all here to learn and live, because it’s now or never.

Thanks for reading

You can find the whole text of the book available at:

http://www.sharing.org/information-centre/reports/heralding-article-25-peoples-strategy-world-transformation

 

To watch the series of interviews conducted on topics related to Living Income, Fundamental Human Rights, Alternative Systems please visit:

 Artwork003

 

Join us in our process of Self-Expression as LIFE


527. Deception: Where does it Really Start?

The other day I read and participated on an interesting thread at the Desteni Forum about the theory of the Earth being flat and it caught my attention because I have been part of the people that have investigated some of it in order to spend some time pondering whether we are truly living in the shape of the Earth we have believed it to be thus far… however what I brought myself to realize is how ultimately irrelevant the subject is, but more so than that how we are already perceiving reality in a very limited view and the very fact that we cannot even be aware of how every single cell and organ of our body functions all the time and how every single thought or experience that we allow ourselves to have impacts our body. Therefore how can be so ‘sure’ of anything in this reality based on what science or ‘counter-scientists’ can explain based on an apparent ‘authority’ that they have adjudicated to themselves to define what’s ‘real’ and ‘what’s not’ – yet all of it being knowledge coming from a limited self-awareness as life, which is what we currently are all living as human beings.

What was pointed out in the whole discussion is that deception is something that exists from the beginning of our existence and is definitely not limited to a ‘conspiracy theory’ type of thing about the Earth’s shape only, but it is existent from the earliest moment of our existence when we separated ourselves from being a ‘one’ single being, ‘a wholeness’ and in such movement of ‘dividing’ ourselves, we forgot that who we are seeing as ‘other beings’ were in fact ourselves as well and from that moment of deception or making ourselves Believe that ‘what we see is separate from us,’ the rest of separation, lies, division, deception emerged up to where we are existing now as humanity in this world.

One of the paths that I have walked in the past years is that of trying to understand ‘everything’ from various perspectives and got myself into the rabbit hole of much of the information that runs around easily on YouTube and in general on the internet nowadays, which seems endless and a lot of it being really useless information that we cannot apply for ourselves in our lives for anything supportive or substantial like improving our personal lives or ways of being – here speaking about the usually dubbed ‘conspiracy theories.’ And unfortunately we are not taught common sense in schools to be able to discern what information is useful for our lives, that is worthwhile giving our attention to for the sake of bettering life in this world – but instead we are taught to discern through ‘logic’ and rest of thinking-processes that revolve around using only the mind and limited senses to then create conclusions about realities ‘out there’ that we cannot possibly go and measure for ourselves.

A point to question is how one bases such ‘trust’ on referencing others saying the same thing or looking at cited material coming from so-called ‘authorities’ and in all of that, it’s kind of laughable how we’ve come to create our own ‘trustworthy’ sources and types of information that are invariably coming from the same source: the human mind. And for anyone that is aware of what that implies, it does mean it comes from a limited source with limited awareness that is trying to understand the world ‘out there’ while not even being aware of our very basic self-functioning at a physical and mind level, let alone how we as beings interact with the whole of this reality.

What I am getting at here is that searching for ‘truths’ or information to apparently have more awareness in this world or that we are getting to know ‘facts’ that no one else has had access to before, or seeking to ‘no longer be deceived by elites or ‘world controllers’ etc. is in fact part of the distraction that exists in order to keep a lot of individuals that could be actually ‘breaking through’ their own mind and changing who they are in their personal lives with all of this amount of information that is designed to entertain and divert people’s attention from sorting out their very own lives.

Of course TV and general ‘news’ would not work to people that like to ‘question more’ so that’s how a mechanism had to be developed to entertain people discovering further apparent ‘truths’ that are practically useless for the most part, and so keep everyone believing they are getting ‘somewhere’ or ‘becoming more intelligent’ or ‘more aware’ just by reading about certain information. Really, it does take a willingness to let go of hope and illusions in order to really question what is it that we are investing our time and breath of life on. It takes self-honesty and that’s unfortunately a really difficult thing it seems for all of us to do, because it is about stopping following that which makes us feel ‘good’ or ‘more knowledgeable’ or ‘more in control’ even if it’s through information that we have no direct awareness of or way to reference it with our very limited senses anyways.

This is of course not done by ‘others’ so that we can ‘blame them’ for ‘enslaving us’ to this kind of information.  It is in fact self-created from our very conscious desire of getting to have access to something apparently ‘greater than us’ awaiting to be revealed, that there will be ‘life in other planets’ or that there are great amounts of money about to be delivered by the hands of a few elites to the whole world, or that there are people from the elites being captured and so the whole world is about to be freed!’ All of this kind of information is abundant in the internet and what I’ve realized is that it’s there for a purpose: to entertain and get people hooked on a belief that there is something ‘awaiting’ for us or that we have ‘been deceived’ by other beings that ‘want to control us’ and that there’s information being ‘suppressed’ that could in fact ‘change our lives’ and whatnot… ehm.. nope.

Isn’t it interesting that all of such so called ‘undisclosed information’ is precisely directed to people that could have directed their time, focus, attention and awareness to actually break through their own mind-control and instead, easily fall-allow (follow) information presented as ‘occult knowledge’ that somehow – apparently – will suddenly change the way that we live in this world, or that will open up possibilities for us to go and live somewhere else in the solar system and be happily forever after in abundance!…

Bottom line is that this question isn’t really about whether this information is true or not, but who we are within ourselves to be following all of that information in the ‘Hope’ of something better coming our way, something, somehow having this planet as an external heaven aside from earth that we can go to once that we’ve devastated, scavenged and trashed this Earth completely.

What does it say about ourselves when we are diligently living the word ‘dedication’ to focus on knowledge and information that is an attempt to ‘find a cure’, ‘find a habitable planet,’ ‘find a savior’ or ‘expecting great changes from the world system soon!’ and be left waiting for years and years while remaining completely inactive to even dare to actively work on dare even question one’s own very thinking processes that have led to the creation of the Problems in the first place, that we are trying to ‘sort out’ with all kinds of magical solutions and ‘occult knowledge’ that we believe has been ‘suppressed’ to ‘save humanity…’

The real question is who are we within our starting point of seeking all kinds of knowledge, cures, solutions ‘out there’ for the problems that we have created by our own thoughts, with our own hands and lives throughout generations? Who are we in perceiving that ‘we are being deceived’ because of not having the full disclosure of the shape of the Earth or ‘life in other planets’ I mean… how relevant is it, really, for who we are on a daily basis in our lives here on Earth?

 

The whole starting point of this ‘search’ and focus on this kind of information reveals ‘who we are’ in such dedication isn’t it? That I leave to each one to reveal to themselves –  however it does take a decision within oneself to stop indulging in all kinds of information from the starting point of finding ‘a solution’ out there, somewhere, separate from ourselves yet suddenly being ‘uncovered’ for us to just step into it and live happily ever after. Really?

I’ve been there and done that when it comes to diving into all kinds of information that I believed had some relevance to my life, only to now confirm that it doesn’t, you are only aware of many levels of deception and that’s it, lol, still it’s all a bunch of lies that becomes pointless to find ‘truths’ in, from my perspective. It can be never ending to get to ‘know it all’ when it comes to this kind of information out there and the reality is that it’s worked really, really well for the people that actually want to maintain a certain form of control over many individuals by grasping people’s attention with this kind of ‘hidden information’ and keeping everyone hoping for some saving-solution to just be delivered on Earth. Of course no responsibility whatsoever is existent in this equation

The reality is that whatever makes it ‘out there’ and becomes popular, what do you know? It’s not really threatening the system, it’s there for a reason and a lot of people fall for it believing they are getting ‘somewhere’ in completing the puzzle that has been deliberately created to scatter ‘bits of truth’ mixed with a whole lot of myths and voilà, there you have an endless pit of ‘truths’ for people to investigate and cross-reference with, again, a limited view, from a limited tool to understand reality, which is our mind as it currently exists in our physical bodies.

What I had to get honest with myself and realize in terms of being ‘hooked’ on all of this information is that I wasn’t really living ‘my life’ and focusing on myself, my own self-awareness of my own thoughts, feelings, emotions, my own self-creation, I was only focused on watching or rather spending time binging on videos non-stop believing I was getting some kind of ‘greater than life’ awareness on something that I thought at the time could lead somewhere, could be relevant in any way – only to then have to realize the obvious: I was using all of that information as a distraction from myself, a way to hide from focusing on who I was creating myself in my life, what I was in fact going to be doing, living, expanding on and developing for myself as a being, as well as continuing to investigate myself, my mind in order to change all of the things that I’ve known have been compromising myself, including this particular time, attention and breaths of life given to endless hours  of information that truly can be resumed in one sentence: there’s deception Everywhere! And the sources is… Ourselves.

So, the last point here is then, why are we then focusing on trying to find ‘truths’ out there believing that something or someone is ‘suppressing’ such information because it holds a ‘key’ to people’s liberation or betterment or ‘infinite happiness’ forevermore? It only indicates one thing about ourselves: we are very dedicated, very quick to be diligent in absorbing all kinds of information – including the Desteni material – but are we actually willing to apply it, test it out for ourselves, live it on a daily basis and see how it actually works for the intended purpose of actual living-change?

There’s one proof of where one can be in one’s process: if one is still very concerned with seeking ‘truths out there’ about alien life, ‘newly discovered planets’ or waiting for some so-called ‘elite families’ to suddenly release some gazillion dollars to each person in this world…. It only indicates the kind of person we are being within following the carrot on the stick and falling for it completely. It says a lot about ourselves when our starting point to get informed is in fact coming from wanting to ‘find a cure’, ‘be saved,’ be economically relieved in one go,’ or ‘seek punishment’ to those that we believe ‘are the problem’ in this world – like the elites, governments and whatnot. Come on, we really have to grow up from this conspiracy-theory phase and I include myself in this because I do check out information by some people that explain a lot of ‘unknown facts’ about the very ‘culture’ that we have been living in, that I grew up on and shaped a lot of my personality, which I’ve written a blog about in order to not get hooked on an ‘intellectual arrogance’ instead of investigating all things and keep what’s useful and best.

The outcome of that was being honest with me and realizing ‘how can I be so amazed by this information considering that I have been aware of self-deception since the beginning of existence, so how can I assume that there has been anything ‘genuine’ in this world to begin with!? Not a single thought is a ‘genuine’ expression of ourselves, yet we follow them, we believe them, we don’t even know how it manifests in our heads but we are so quick to believe it and trust it.

The same we do of course to anything out there that we’ve created as ‘an authority’ of sorts in our heads – and that’s what’s completely questionable about ourselves, where we go into blindly following and believing and making conclusions based on these limited resources obtained through a limited perception of another human being in their own minds, yet we make those truths as ‘completely real’ because ‘many people are saying the same, therefore it must be real, it must be true!’

I definitely suggest to question that conclusion, completely, and rather take of knowledge that which you can prove, live, test, try out, ‘repeat and rinse’ for yourself in your everyday living without any further tools other than yourself in your own body, your mind, your awareness and your daily responsibilities and self-creation process, that’s our truth, that’s what’s here for us to develop our own science of change and actually apply everything that we get to hear from any source, any person, any ‘media outlet’ or ‘authority’ that we have designated some sort of omni-power in our minds.

That’s how deception starts and ends within ourselves, because the moment that we make knowledge something applicable, it ceases to be only knowledge and information, it becomes a practical realization for our lives, our bodies, our doings in our everyday living. Ultimately it’s all about self-responsibility and we are the only ones that can define this for ourselves: do we invest our time, breath of life and awareness in investigating so-called ‘truths’ that are apparently a million light years away or do we first begin to understand the very basic ‘traits’ and personalities and reactions and emotions and habits and memories that we are existing as and keeping ourselves in fact separate from life because of not being willing to start focusing on investigating ourselves, our own minds, our own lives!?

I would finally suggest to anyone that can be investigating things ‘out there’ and diving into the rabbit hole of endless information, to ask yourself if you’ve invested the same amount of time, attention, focus and dedication to investigate yourself, your life, how your memories have an impact on you, what makes you react, why you react, to what do you react, what are you fearing to do in your life, what is stopping you from doing what is most supportive for your life? And the list could go on and on… all that is required is a will to focus ‘back to self’ instead of diverting our attention into gazillion of ‘truths’ out there, up to each one, I stand with the basics of course: self-honesty, self-awareness, self-responsibility and practical application of what I become aware of on a daily basis.

Ultimately always can ask yourself how this information can assist you in taking responsibility for yourself and your life, ask yourself if what you are getting to know about has any actual impact on you to become a person of integrity, to develop self-honesty and common sense?

‘The truth will set you free’ it is said, but no one indicated that this ‘truth’ wasn’t necessarily to be sought ‘out there,’ but instead getting to see and know the truth within ourselves, who we really are and what we can in fact do to change our lives to honor life and take responsibility of our thoughts, words and deeds as our creations in this world – it’s all here, as ourselves, we decide.

 

Thanks for reading

 

Suggested series to assist yourself in clarifying the starting point of a lot of ‘truth seeking’:

 

Loq ue soy es más allá del infinito

 

Join us in our process of Self-Expression as LIFE


524. Redefining Routine

Or The Gift of Responsibilities and Discipline on a day to day basis as a point of stability and consistency in my life

What I’ve discovered more and more through this process is how once that one decides to walk through an experience and does all the necessary work to see behind the ‘veil’ of such experience, what one will finds is oneself, the potential that we have to be in fact ‘here’, directive, content, grounded, stable and embracing the walk of life even during seemingly difficult or tough times.

What I looked at today was the benefit of having responsibilities and getting to fulfill as a point of stability in my life which I am in fact grateful for, as well as self-discipline that can be applied to taking on responsibilities and fulfilling them – but I also see discipline more in the context where one doesn’t ‘have to do something’ as an obligation, requirement or commitment with a second party, but discipline in things that we decide to do for ourselves, for the benefit, enjoyment and self-expansion of it.

An example can be how I know that it sucks whenever I over sleep and I’ve ‘squandered’ some 1 or 2 hours in sleeping over the usual time, which has happened after going through somewhat emotionally charged days or extensive physical work which doesn’t really happen in my life currently but has in the past. I generally dislike that experience and as much as I’ve stopped being moody about it, it’s one of those things where one simply didn’t get to use that time of the day for what was planned because of ‘oversleeping.’

So, a simple point for me can be to be diligent in waking up, sometimes reminding me of how I dislike the experience of missing out those hours of the day, sometimes because I enjoy waking up before the sun rises and I enjoy going out for a jog during the dawn and enjoying that there are not too many cars, that there’s not a scorching sun upon me and that there’s the chilliness of morning times, which is a constant here no matter what season we’re in. I discovered I genuinely enjoy doing this because I get to go to the park and be in such an environment even if for only half an hour a day and then I come back and feel content with myself, satisfied that I was able to wake up and direct myself to do that and can continue with my day which I also like to see as this continuation of activities – from one to the other, to the next – and sometimes fitting them like a puzzle according to the day, the plans that I have and making it work, which usually works but sometimes there are things that come out of nowhere and I also have to learn to be more flexible on that and not lose ‘track’ of myself that way, which I still have to work on.

So, in a way I am finding how doing seemingly ‘simple’ things as part of my day are quite grounding, supportive and a point of stability in my life – to me schedules work as an integral part of who I am in my day, I plan instinctively but in the sense of fitting things in certain timeframes and according to the set-times for certain meetings – and I am the only one that would be causing myself an ‘overload’ or delay of something if I don’t simply direct myself to do it as it is required. Of course procrastination is still something I have to work on, especially in doing things that I believe they have no ‘value’ for myself, which I will be working on fairly soon as well and challenging such rigidity in myself.

I personally enjoy going out for long walks when it’s windy and sunset time and I don’t know what it is but there’s nothing that is more enjoyable to me than that, it’s just feeling the wind and walking and if I’m listening to music it creates a complement where I get to enjoy the moment for and as myself. Same if I decide to go to the movies and watch a movie that I can reflect on for myself or enjoy for the visuals of it – I’m more allowing that to myself after having lived some years of almost no movies. I truly was living a little bit like a monk, which was ok to test out my relationship with things like music and entertainment, but lately I’ve been reincorporating more of this in my life because it is part of the things I can enjoy for myself and that I can do within my current life situation.

Of course all of this integrated with the rest of my day to day responsibilities and routines that I have to say in my case, have been a point of stability, of consistency that becomes more than just a ‘doing’ or ‘getting something done,’ but more of a way in which I am able to now approach a ‘routine’ not with the eyes that I used to before in the sense of going ‘oh no, not again the same, sameness, same old, ah, I need change, need a break’ or any of that –

interestingly enough, by now if I had repeated that kind of reactions every single day, today I was actually reflecting in how even the simple movement of coming to the computer and turning it on by now would have been something I would be physically rejecting or reacting to do, if I had continued to build reactions towards my every day, including daily self-care tasks which yes I had a time where I was reacting to the very fact of having to go to the toilet or having to eat, having to do all of these things on a daily basis. It may sound strange to some, but if you can relate to it: been there, done that and I had to stop my reactions, realize I am the only one creating them and instead embrace physicality, embracing the physical routine because that’s quite a certainty of our lives, day followed by night completing a day and ‘repeat’ the next day – that’s also a point of stability in fact, and I’ve learned to see it as such rather than ‘predictable’ and ‘boring’ or whatever else.

So what changed? Certainly not the length of day and night or any of that, but myself, entirely deciding to live my day to day in a way where I can be stable throughout it all, no matter how many times I will ‘rinse and repeat’ the same thing, because I stopped projecting ‘the future’ and my life based on the amount of days I believe I will be doing the same (or the amount of years I will get to live, because who knows! We don’t even have the next breath assured, really) but instead have actually learned to live a day and giving it what I am capable of in that one day, dare I say I am not yet in that ‘fullest potential’ for sure, and that’s what I’ll continue working on.

This also comes back to something that I decided to live on from when I was in junior high school and I read somewhere a quote along the lines of never losing the ability to be astounded – but I saw it not so much in terms of the ability to react in wonder or amazement or a ‘high’ experience of sorts, but simply in being able to rediscover oneself every day, by developing self-awareness. I’ve heard so many people say that they get bored, and I used to as well, but since I got to be aware of this process, there hasn’t been a day I have defined as ‘boring’ because there’s always something to do, we  simply got more than enough to ‘do’ with getting to really know ourselves and ‘debunking’ where our lies hide and getting real and honest with ourselves to change all of that which we dislike in ourselves, what we know will harm us and eventually destroy us or sabotage us.

I understand that initially it may seem – and I repeat SEEM, because it’s always an experience, therefore it’s only energy – as if it was difficult to get to a point of clarity in relation to something, to even wake up with a ‘clear’ experience to start your day, your ‘routine’, but all I can say is hold on to yourself and stick to the wheel, keep driving and navigating yourself through the seemingly stormy weather, it too shall pass and if you don’t give up or recoil back to fear during a storm, you will get to see the skies clear up and you’ll see yourself remaining standing. And that is something I can call a genuine strength, a perseverance and consistency, a result of discipline, clarity and stopping participation in reactions to our ‘day to day’ living – we decide which words define us – I personally prefer to keep cultivating discipline, consistency, perseverance and dedication rather than any other emotional outburst that I know will only drop me back to ‘square one’ in whichever development I am attempting to create in my life.

A last pointer here, to not get lost in the experience, but to get active and ‘on track’ on a day to day basis, this is the best gift we can give to ourselves on a daily basis, to dignify our lives with the responsibilities we have, with the care that we can give us because the moment we go into an experience about doing these basic things in our life related to physical care and work, responsibilities, relationships or anything that we know we have to face day by day, we are only preparing a road full of reactions and endless sources of Inner-conflict – because it’s not about ‘the world, the people, the relationships or the tasks’, never – it’s all about who we decide to be in relation to it all.

I suggest to rather consider or ‘keep in mind’ the potential that is right here as ourselves, in our very physical body that is being powered breath by breath – if we simply decide to do it, to move through the storm and stick to moving ourselves by living principles, continuing to clear ourselves up with writing, self-forgiveness and laying out corrective applications, then we will see the benefits of this process and understand what I mean here.

All I can say is: this works, if we make it work – it’s up to each one of us to tap into such life and consistency that is always here as ourselves if we decide to live as it and stopping getting ‘lost’ in the experiences towards a self-created doom.  

I decide to see every day as one more chance/opportunity to live, to learn, to expand, to explore myself, to re-discover myself, to challenge myself – yet keeping it simple – Simplicity is the key, as B would say

Thanks for reading

 

Join us in our process of Self-Expression as LIFE


496. Humming as a Suppression

Or how I’ve used humming/singing to myself as a way to not look at things that caused a moment of conflict in me

I’ve noticed how there are very subtle ways of suppression, which are like ways in which I ‘swipe’ a thought, a glimpse, a memory of something that comes up when I am doing something completely different and in that moment the tendency is to… start ‘singing’ or ‘humming’ some kind of tune, lol.

I’ve proved it to be so every single time. I’ll describe one of them.

I was cooking breakfast and suddenly in a split moment, I had the memory of what I defined as an ‘awkward’ social situation where I didn’t know how to greet people, how to present myself based on the fact that we were at a funeral – so this was last week – and I also didn’t know how common it is to smile upon greeting others in such situations, but I did it anyway though judged my expression in that moment because of perceiving it might have been ‘too vain’ to do that towards others.

So when I was cooking, the image of greeting this couple in that one moment where I accessed the experience of ‘social awkwardness’ was coming up within me to re-look at it, it was a moment I could have taken as a reminder that ‘Hey! you accessed some experience while greeting this people, you can look at it now!’ – But, instead of actually deciding to ‘click’ on that image so to speak and look at what’s in it and understand the points I was suppressing in relation to my experience in that one moment, I started humming a song, lol. This is not the first time it has happened and afterward I notice what I do which is to ‘shut up’ my glimpses of memories or situations that are usually moments where there is something for me to look at, somewhere in that moment I accessed an emotion or a feeling, or ‘left me a bad taste’ in experience, there’s always something in those seemingly ‘small moments’ that come back as this insta-memories/flashbacks and also in an insta-moment I start humming, which I’ve now identified as a defense mechanism, a way to ‘shut myself up’ but also a way to suppress those points that actually caused a certain ‘shift’ in me and so were coming up again for me to look at them.

Every single time after I do the singing or humming I realize I just ‘shoved aside’ something that I could look at and the point is that because of not looking into it in the moment, I ‘forget’ and it’s gone. This last time that it happened – a week ago – I made a note of it and that’s how I remember exactly what the image was as that ‘still’ that came up in my mind while making breakfast and how I suppressed looking into that moment for me to realign and correct in myself.

Here in that memory I can establish the points to self-forgive

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to access an experience of ‘social awkwardness’ which is related to not knowing what was the ‘right thing to do’ upon greeting people and doubting myself when it comes to it being ‘ok’ for me to smile or not, based on the belief that due to being in a funeral, I probably should act reserved and sad looking – but at the moment I wasn’t, therefore I should not manipulate my expression in that moment out of morals or ‘what is correct to do’ but simply make sure the expression is moderated, not too ecstatic either as that would imply another emotion or feeling for me to look at.

I also realize that in those moments even if the situation is quite ‘dull’ for most, a greeting toward and among the living can be supportive and a smile Is what I’d like to get from people even in such tough situations, as a way of reminding ourselves also that our lives go on.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to many times before doubt myself in social situations as if I was expecting someone else to tell me what’s right or wrong to do in such situations, but the reality is that I can only trust myself in expressing myself in the moment, being considerate of the environment yes, but not manipulating myself either to show an emotion based on an idea of what ‘one is supposed to feel like’ in a funeral, and here also then stopping the accepted and allowed nature of situations like funerals where we tend to lower our voices and act in a very constricted manner, when in fact it is only ourselves individually in our minds and bodies that recreate these social conditions based on a mind’s reaction and experience, which is what here in this process I am deciding to become the directive principle of.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt myself and my greeting among people that I didn’t really know before yet I proceeded to greet as I do others usually and here then I have to let go of any ‘rules’ I may have learned in relation to only shaking hand if people are ‘new’ to me or giving a cheek kiss to the ladies, and this I can do every time, that way I decide to establish the way in which I relate to others regardless of being a previously known or ‘new-known’ person lol.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience a shift in my being when greeting new people and doubting, questioning, over analyzing ‘how I should act’ towards them, but there is nothing or no one that is going to tell me ‘how to’ lol – so I have to stand on my ground and simply make a decision to greet in a comfortable manner, not assessing ‘who’ they are, but simply realizing that if they are in the same ‘event’ or environment as myself, then I can greet and get to know them if the opportunity is there, or sometimes I’ve also asked them like ‘who are you’ but again, I restricted myself due to the ‘funeral’ situation, which I can also let go of and simply embrace as any other event, not making It something too ‘solemn’ in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to restrict my expression around others in a funeral, believing that if I showed myself as somewhat comfortable or expressive, it would go ‘against the tide’ in that situation, when in fact I don’t have to do this, of course as I said previously, measuring my expression at the same time, not to ‘bombastic’ lol in situations like that, nor manipulate myself into a facial expression and voice expression that I would be faking based on how I perceive the context must be.

Therefore I commit myself to embrace myself in every single moment of my expression, no matter ‘who’ I greet and in this, ensure that I am the one that is deciding to express and leave social conventions, ideas, expectations behind because those are usually limiting ourselves to perpetuate particular ‘set ups’ that are not genuinely supportive.

I mean, if I give to others as I’d like to give to myself, I’d like to greet someone that can at least be a bit cheerful in situations where majority are not doing ok, so I can be that one point if/when situations like this arise and if I am also experiencing emotions in such situations, to also not be ashamed of it because it can cause a situation where I then go into a ‘shift’ based on ‘what will others say’ which I recognize this time I just ‘let it be’ for a moment when it did emerge and that was ok, so what bothered me the most or what caused the most inner conflict is ‘who to be’ if I wasn’t experiencing any particular sadness or emotion based on the context.

For now I also realize that as a point of correction for myself and my expression in humming and singing to myself, I have to make it a clear decision wherein I also know How it is when I decide to ‘bring a song here’ and I start singing along to it, and when it becomes this ‘tune’ I just invent in a moment and sing in an unaware moment = that’s the suppression and so whenever I see myself doing that or even more so, whenever I see myself in that quantum moment of passing from the ‘insta-memory’ to wanting to start humming, I have to stop myself completely from ‘doing the humming’ and instead focusing on the memory, making a note of it either in my mind by looking at it with intent of Seeing it, acknowledging that moment that’s coming up again – and/or write it out, make a note of it with pen and paper so that this point doesn’t go unnoticed, and then continue doing what I was doing in stability, ensuring that if I decide to ‘hum along’ to something, it comes out of an emptiness in me, not as a way to mask the remembrance of a generally uncomfortable experience in me in a recent past moment that is right there, up in my mind again for me to look at it.

So I don’t have to hide from myself in those moments, I can actually be grateful that it’s popping up like jack in the box for me to re-look at a moment where I did not apply myself, did not change in the moment and so take now the time to look at it so that I can correct myself and apply in coming similar situations in my life.

Thanks for Reading

 

I can't remember your name

 

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489. Doomsday Closer to Midnight? We Decide

Scientists have moved the time of the Doomsday Clock counting down humanity’s dying days closer to midnight, with the dials now set at two and a half minutes to 12am – the highest danger level facing the planet since 1953.” – Doomsday Clock ticks closer to midnight – RT News

 

There’s two ways of deciding to interact with news like this: jumping into the fear and paranoia bandwagon and drinking up to your last days to numb the fears (essentially giving up from the get go and sabotaging your life with fears and paranoia) – or, deciding to actually consider the moment we’re living in at a global level and do some self-reflection for Self-Change because, hello! The world is not something ‘out there’ that we have to change ‘out there’, it’s about who each one of us and how we decide to live and interact in very day of our lives.

Usually this kind of announcements only focus on what certain presidents/world leaders and people in ‘high positions’ get to decide on and how they relate to each other, which becomes a comfortable spot for the rest of the population to keep ‘blaming them’ for how ‘bad’ things have gotten thus far, but here thus I of course would like to take the point back to ourselves and our potential to change.

We might not have the ‘nuclear codes’ and ultimate decision to launch nuclear weapons or not, but we obviously have our ability to stop our inner wars as inner conflicts and projected blames and conflicts toward others, wherein as the commission that gave this change in the clock stated: the greatest problem is miscommunication, words taken at face value and taken into actions that lead to hostility, fear, retaliation, defense and the rest of it which also exists in our day to day living in our interactions with each other.

The point I’d like to focus thus is the emphasis made on words,  on this escalation being based on ‘verbal attacks’ which can only exist if there’s an ego that can accept and allow to take offense on words – which would not exist if such ‘world leaders’ had walked their process to understand that any form of verbal diarrhea as an attack, threat, intention of harm and abuse only defines the one that expresses it, but cannot affect the other one when receiving it if he/she stands in self-responsibility for their own reactions.

However these words and threats can be acted out in various ways that can indeed become a point of no return  in humanity, which is what we can at least make our own part to prevent if we genuinely care for our own lives and the lives of everyone in this world as equals – all life, not only humans.

This also proves something I’ve written a few blogs ago about the ‘Trump’s administration’ Let’s Make Us F.O.O.L. Again! and what it means to ourselves in this existential process, it can serve as a catalyst to either wake up or prompt our way into self-destruction. The choice is entirely our own, individually, not as ‘nations’ or ‘presidents’ only.

The solution is in realizing that we may see things escalating everywhere and this is not based on someone’s policy or technology or armament development, or tyrant people in presidential positions – these are only manifested consequences that we might not be able to stop or change by our own hand, but we surely can decide to change who we are in the midst of it all: do we go into doomsday mentality and fatalism, seeing ‘no way out’? Or do we decide to actually realize that our lives in a very individual manner are entirely up to us and we can only disempower ourselves if we keep blaming, fighting and pointing fingers outside of ourselves demanding change, instead of focusing in rather becoming aware of the kind of intentions as words, as backchat (mind conversations) that intend any point of harm, blame, abuse, vengeance or are plain derogatory towards others, because this is where we actually have control of and reign in within ourselves: our minds, our bodies, which is why we have to stop ‘focusing out there’ for solutions, but make sure we are giving our breaths of life to become the solution in and as ourselves, individually one by one, and stop projecting solutions coming from ‘higher powers’ out there. We are the solution, we have to live as it.

So how can we use this type of announcements in a constructive manner? To not give into fear at all or potential ‘worst case scenarios’ playing in our minds, causing fear and paranoia. But instead Focus on our Lives, focus on our personal internal and external reality, to live words and so actions and attitudes that are supportive to ourselves first and so invariably they will be supportive for others at the same time.

We have stop the blame, stop desires of revenge towards anything or anyone, stop being ‘angry at the world’ and rather ask and investigate within what this anger represents within us, where are we abdicating our responsibility to stop the very thoughts that apparently ‘no one else sees’ in our minds, yet affect the core and essence of who we are, because each time we ‘give into our minds’ we become more trapped in our own ‘mind control’ in our own delusional self that is this energetic egotistical experience that we call ‘ourselves’, which is in fact the origin and cause of this ‘escalation’ happening around the world, and it’s here as consequences for all of us to Wake UP – or give into the lower version of ourselves that hides in fear, blame, disempowerment or delusional hope for change coming from out there.

I choose to keep focusing on my own life, on the change that I can affect, direct and create every day, because it is also a decision to keep feeding ourselves with all kinds of ‘gloom and doom’ that is available in the media every single day, feeding only ‘worst case scenarios’ to keep people controlled and in fear/ inferior to the situation when in fact, we have more power than we ‘think’ by actually developing our own revolution in our minds, where we stop succumbing to what the ‘airwaves’ are telling us to think and do, and in doing so not allow mind control within ourselves; because ‘Mind Control’ is not something that it is ‘imposed’ onto ourselves, we make it real by accepting it, allowing it within us as ‘how we think’ and making it real by acting upon what one is ‘fed’ as ideas, opinions, beliefs and perceptions that divide and conquer us on a daily basis.

Let’s instead focus on living and redefining words, this is the prime tool for self-creation upon understanding our ability to live words in a supportive way for oneself and for all. This takes however a decision and practical application to decide to become a human being that stands as life, as equality, as oneness, as the potential that we all are yet have buried deeper and deeper inside ourselves every single moment that we gave into an experience of anger, rage, violence, hatred, vengeance or blame towards ‘others’ instead of standing up and owning our actions and the responsibility to it all.

This is yet another opportunity wherein even if facing manifested consequences that may seem inevitable, unable to be changed, we can still decide ‘who we are’ in the face of those situations: do we give into fear and paranoia or do we stand up in self-responsibility and stability, realizing our ability to not be altered or changed ‘by others’ in how we experience ourselves, in the decisions we make.

Who we are in the mind is by now the key to actual change in this world, and what is in the mind but words, images, pictures that we use to create habits and patterns that rule our lives every single moment. Therefore, we cannot focus on what ‘world leaders’ are doing to ‘lead the world to self-destruction’, we have to focus back to ourselves, stop fooling ourselves trying to find culprits for everything that is wrong and instead dare to look within ourselves, live the words: focus on changing our own lives. That’s the key here and not only will be become then ‘immune’ to all kinds of attempts to stir fear and control, but we can also then determine the outcomes of our lives wherein we will know that ‘no matter what’ we can stand and support ourselves, instead of being ‘dragged down’ by the various consequences that are inevitably showing up as our reality individually and collectively.

It’s best to acknowledge it, stop hiding from consequences and be clear in our words and living intent to create and be what’s best for all. That’s a source of stability and self-commitment that I’d recommend anyone to do, to consider walking this process of self-creation in self-responsibility and self-awareness with the Desteni Lite Process , since it is that kind of support and personal investment that no one can ‘take away’ from you, and no ‘thought police’ can remove from your awareness. It’s about learning how to genuinely stand in self-independence while considering the whole, it’s a way to stand in freedom in our minds while at the same time learning how to live in this world system and the consequences we’ve collectively manifested as our reality.

There is no doubt that 1984 has risen to the top of book sales for a reason lately, and Orwell’s intent was to precisely show the importance of who we are in our minds that gives power to all kinds of mechanisms of control out there. So let’s keep in mind that mind control can only exist as such if we accept and allow it within ourselves.

It’s time to stop blaming the news, media, presidents, music, entertainment, videogames, foods, institutions,  governments, god, parents, your wife, your husband, your kids, your body for everything that is wrong in our lives, and start focusing on establishing principles and values that we want to live by in our own lives. That’s the power that we have, let’s use it wisely and see what we can in fact do and become if everyone stands in this same intent, in equality, around the world.

I then choose to see this ‘massive warning’ as an opportunity, a catalyst for self-change and self-investigation, and actually Do the changes that are necessary within us, so:

Let’s do it, clock is ticking.

Thanks for reading

 

Very supportive and timely audios for self-support in self-change upon facing consequences that are not ‘nice’ to face:

Nowhere to Run, Nowhere to Hide – Reptilians – Part 558

Nowhere? Oh Here! – Reptilians – Part 559

 

What am I Creating

 

Join us in our process of Self-Creation as LIFE


460. American Pastoral: My Reflection

I recently watched the movie ‘American Pastoral’ and I can say it became a very interesting reflection to myself and my past in the role of a teenage daughter within a family. In fact, I wanted to catch this movie in the theatres because I watched the trailer and saw the plot related to a ‘typical American family’ that sees the only child  – female – involved in extremist political groups that started shaping her character to a point of becoming a terrorist.

There were moments of her ‘early stages’ of rebellion at home that reminded me so much of myself, like how this girl is screaming at the television news and calling them ‘fuckers’ and just becoming insta-angry at what’s being said on TV. Yep, been there, done that many times, creating a constant battle with the point of ‘having the TV on’ and the news themselves, getting pissed and worried about everything that was happening, blaming the corporations, the politicians the ‘unaware people’ etc. – as I’ve written many times in these blogs already.

But this is not the only point, in the whole history I was able to see the extremes of what happens when there’s a child within a family where the parents are the epitome of ‘perfection’ as in ‘model individuals’ according to the usual social standards – the father being the popular American football player in school that becomes successful in his business/life, marrying a lady that had been a beauty queen and essentially having all the ingredients to be the ‘perfect family.’ Yet, their child from a very early age starts to react to that, desiring the opposite of what her parents consider to be a mark of success and tradition. She starts doing the opposite like affiliating herself with ‘political groups’ that want to essentially disrupt any sense of ‘American Dream’ or ‘normalcy’ at that time – 1960’s, 1970’s in America – starts talking about being anti war, anti capitalism and being constantly pissed off at the world, at the system and at her parents for being ‘so perfect.’

I could relate to that so much based on how I was back then. I didn’t take it that far into becoming an extremist, but I very well know I could have gone into some sort of extremes to antagonize – and that’s the keyword here – whatever is considered as ‘normal’ or ‘mainstream’ or ‘moral’ to any society. My way of challenging this was through the way I behaved, talked, dressed, my preferences, my relationship preferences, the ways in which I had ‘fun’ all of what I built as myself was precisely a way to ‘unconsciously’ rebel and set myself aside from the rest of my family, a way to make myself the ‘black sheep’ and ‘show them’ that I wasn’t going to be like them, which means I was existing in judgment of them, their ways/behaviors, preferences, traditions and the rest of ‘who they are’ in an attempt to ‘change them,’ to ‘make others care’, to ‘have them open their eyes!’– wrong way of course! But I thought that was the way back then.

Here, I know that many might have gone through something similar to this in their teenage years, which is kind of common at some point in everyone’s life, though here the key is looking at creating a healthy balance between awareness and ignorance, between considering ‘the world out there’ and one’s own life and doings.  Therefore I share this so as to not follow through the ways of the people in the movie where they start reprimanding and preventing the girl from having contact with others, only causing the inevitability of her running away from home – but instead, be able to understand that phase of ‘awakening’ of sorts that many teenagers might go through and so, making it that phase where parents can be understanding and considerate of that phase, not jumping into antagonizing it or fearing it or attempting to curb it with ‘locking them up’ either – in a school or their room or ‘away from home’, but creating a space of comprehension of what this desire to ‘show the bad and the ugly’ of the world and being interested in acknowledging it in fact means, which is also why as parents one would have to first and foremost have already gone through that phase of also developing some introspection to be willing to face and see all those things that we usually hide away from in the idea of ‘ignorance is bliss’.

 

american pastoral

 

In the movie the daughter becomes that embodiment of ‘becoming aware of all the things that the parents were oblivious of’ or simply not caring much about – yet she took it to an extreme in order to make a statement, in order to ‘rebel’ against the status-quo. Yet she would eventually find out that becoming an ‘extremist’ is not the way forward and it gets to a situation where it compromises her own health and stability for the sake of ‘caring for the world or others’ and turning it into a religion, which is what happened to her.

But without going into the movie itself so much, bringing it back to myself I could see how I could have gone into certain extremes in my life in some similar ways as Merry in the movie, and I am so thankful that I found the Desteni message relatively early on in my life to prevent myself from going further down the rabbit hole and till this day, still walk my process of ‘stopping antagonizing’ the world, stopping my anger and sadness in relation to all things that we usually go blissfully unaware of, realizing that becoming emotional and a ‘fighter’ myself against everyone is not the way, will not show to people an answer but only will endorse fighting and blaming endlessly, which is pointless, absolutely pointless to the objective of learning self-responsibility and actually doing something about it to stand as that solution we usually only get ‘pissed’ about others not doing so for themselves or ‘the world.’

Here then I can stand as proof that no matter how much one gets angry/pissed at ‘the world’ or attempts to do certain extreme ways to ‘get people’s attention’ it one won’t actually change anything, it won’t get a message through either, one won’t actually in fact contribute to anything but only enhance the usual ‘war mentality’ when we go ‘fighting against everything that we define is wrong!’ and becoming of a belligerent nature that is ‘non-stopping’ for all the wrong reasons. I can see myself in that diligence and belligerence that Merry – the daughter – had in so many ways, but I’ve learned to redirect that diligence to my own self-support, to supporting others to learn how to also stand and live by principles that we can absolutely then prove to ourselves and show to ourselves what it means to ‘be the solution’ in this world, instead of going fighting and blaming and even inflicting damage upon others in order to ‘make a statement.’

It’s really silly how the protesting nature exists in us which has its origins in our tantrums as children and making it a point to ‘possess’ ourselves with anger and create a whole drama to get what we want – well at least that’s what happened in my case and even if I didn’t get what I wanted, I developed a relationship to anger from a very early age and later on suppressed it in so many ways, only to later on have to re-open it through this process of knowing myself, taking responsibility for my mind, my body, my everyday living and this thus becoming a point that I have been walking for some years now in order to Stop the fight within myself and ‘towards others in the world’ – but instead understand my reactions, decide to stop them in the realization that: my anger, my rage won’t do anything in this world of substantial change, it doesn’t nurture anything, it only feeds the war mentality.

So I instead self-forgive these emotional experiences as the ‘habitual me’ I had become, and direct myself to focus on my own self-creation which practically means going changing, aligning, redirecting every bit of myself that may want to ‘slip through the cracks’ into the old patterns of ‘blame’ and ‘anger’, then I make it a point to rather change that which I judge ‘outside’ in the inside of myself, learning to live words that are supportive and dedicating my life to do this with myself and those that I come to interact and support on a daily basis.

This then prevents any ‘extremist’ behavior, this then prevents ‘terrorists’ as well, this then prevents sects, cults and religious extremism where people get so diligent and belligerent with a set of beliefs that they are willing to ‘walk over others’ – harm, abuse, discriminate, hate – in order to ‘make a point’ that stands in a morality point of what’s good or bad, missing out the equality equation: what’s best for all, what’s the common sense solution, what’s our common/one and equal responsibility for what exists in this world, what’s humbleness in considering others?

And these set of principles and questions above has assisted me a lot whenever my ‘belligerent and extremist mindset’ wants to pop out, fueled with some righteousness which usually becomes a way to justify our anger or hatred, which is once again only self-interest, only believing it will ‘make a point’ but it doesn’t, it only alienates people, it only makes us walking ‘angry fits’ that show no solution at all.

Instead  I’ve found and proven that actually developing humbleness, consideration, embracing others as myself is a much more self-challenging process because then I don’t pose myself as ‘superior’ and ‘more aware’ than others believing ‘I know what’s right and wrong’ –  but instead have to challenge myself to find ways to talk to any person, about any topic, understand ‘where they are’ in their life/process of awareness and recognize that the best way to assist anything or anyone in this world, is by first focusing on changing me, stopping my belligerent nature and instead becoming an embracing one, one that understands what ‘living as equals’ in fact means, and this is then the process here which has actually supportive results that emerge as ripples here and there, without me even having to ‘push’ for it, because we simply become the ‘living words,’ we just are being the living examples and that’s as far as we can go when it comes to ‘changing the world’ really, doing so with one’s words, thoughts and deeds in every  moment that we are alive… but wanting to change ‘others’ and ‘fighting them’ is definitely not the way at all.

So, I suggest checking out this movie also for parents because the relationship between them and toward the child is quite an interesting one, if anything one that can leave aspects to learn how to prevent to the extremes in the story, and rather focusing on channeling/redirecting a teenager’s ‘awakening’ into one of self-creation and self-support  

Enjoy 🙂

 

American Pastoral Merry

 

If you’d like some support in preventing and being 1+ person that stands up for life in a practical day to day living manner, check out:


459. Meditation: What is Missing in it?

There’s a movie I recently watched called ‘Choice’ and it caught my attention because it is about meditation and people promoting its use because it has assisted them so much in their lives. So, the following is going to be my perspective based on the understanding and self-awareness that I’ve walked – meaning tested and proven – when it comes to meditation as a source to achieve some form of lasting and sustainable support in one’s life.

In the movie there were various cases where meditation was implemented by deeply troubled people, including prisoners in Mexico, homeless kids in another state here in Mexico and patients with terminal illnesses like Cancer creating supportive outcomes for them. The way it is presented it makes one totally believe that this is really ‘the key’ – and a particularly easy one – to just ‘breathe oneself’ into stability or calmness and making it look as if it is a cure to one’s problems, which I can only partly agree on.

Here I’d like to focus on what I have become aware of in my previous practice and experience with meditation where there was a part of me that also wanted such peace of mind through simply focusing on breathing or stilling my mind during my everyday reality. Over time I found that there were inevitable moments where I did create reactions toward people;  I tried to every single time keep my cool and ‘meditate’ myself into stilling my mind and reactions, which only worsened the points and it all accumulated into moments of ‘exploding’ in front of that person or situation in a very, shall I say, bad way because I was only trying to suppress my experience with just breathing and calming myself down, while not dealing with the actual cause and source of such experience.

As with most practices and applications I’ve tested throughout my life, I was very keen on focusing on meditation and trying to achieve some ‘higher state of consciousness’ which with my understanding now, it only means getting oneself even more suppressed into the mind which is a system, a consciousness system that is representing in fact not the best part of ourselves, it is in fact a system that exists based on relationships of friction and conflict generating emotions and feelings – in essence energy – that we have accepted and allowed to exist as it does, which is essentially feeding off from the body itself to generate such experiences which means, it exists in ourselves, it’s a part of us that we have to directly face/confront and directly change.

Yet one common mistake we make is trying to ‘shut the mind off’ and dissociate ourselves from our thoughts and calling them off as if they were not a part of ourselves that we have in fact accepted and allowed and Created in our minds! Including as well all of the experiences that we have in our bodies – whether we are aware or not – they are all indicating to us that they are a part of us, our creation, they are here to be recognized, understood to then walk them through a process of acknowledging self-responsibility for experiencing them. We by now all can agree how there are many experiences in our minds that are not supportive to our actual physical living. Because any experience at an energy level – whether positive or negative –will destabilize ourselves, it will cause consequences whenever we are moved by energy and not making effective living decisions based on common sense.

But, what happens when one tries to simply keep the mind shut and focus only on breathing? All of the mind’s information as thoughts, emotions, feelings will only get suppressed through ONLY doing the breathing process. Here what I’ve seen is how there’s really no encouragement of walking a process of developing self-awareness, self-recognition of acknowledging this as a part of ourselves, as something we can actually take direction on and physically change.

Focusing on breathing is I’d say an initial step in being able to develop a physical awareness in relation to ‘seeing the mind’ and not being moved by it or so immersed/lost into it. Though what I found in the documentary/movie is that there was no talk about understanding what those thoughts or emotional experiences expose or signify as a part of ourselves, how we are the creators of such aspects of ourselves and so how we have the responsibility and power/ability to change that through a process of direct self-awareness, using writing and the application of self-forgiveness to recognize who we are as those parts of ourselves that is bothering us, that is causing a consequence in our physical living, that is keeping us bounded and limited to a particular destructive behavior – we all know in ourselves which ones those are, we all have something to improve in our lives, that’s what we can in fact take a more directive role in re-designing if you will.

Because what happens when we only focus on ‘breathing’ and stopping the mind, is that we create a huge void, a huge disconnect when it comes to not actually doing the necessary investigation of those aspects of our minds that we are trying to stop, we are not actively directing ourselves to recognize those experiences as a part of ourselves to understand, acknowledge it so as to redirect or transform that experience into a word that we can live and so assist ourselves with in Creating ourselves – or ‘recreating’ ourselves – into the person, the being, the life that we actually want for ourselves.

What I found through actually taking the time and walking the process to investigate, get to know and deconstruct my mind is that for example, I had in fact anger in me that I had suppressed entirely, in layers and layers of believing that ‘everything is fine’ and believing that I was always ‘ok and fine’ in which I kept myself hiding from what I was in fact experiencing, which I was only to open up and confront through developing self-honesty which means in a nutshell, allowing myself to investigate, see, recognize and day by day work on self-forgiving/taking responsibility for those experiences in me, understanding their ‘reasoning’ behind it and so making direct and self-aware decisions to change those aspects in me, one by one, day by day.

What have been the results of me walking this process? Let’s put it this way, breathing becomes a constant point of self-awareness wherein I can still go observing who I am in my mind, become aware of the movements that emerge in myself based on particular situations I am in – however, based on having walked this process of self forgiveness for some years now, it is easier to embrace those aspects of myself, take responsibility for it and so directively change myself in relation to that. This means that I have become more stable and grounded in my body, in myself, I now know I can be the directive principle of what comes up in my mind and have tools/ways to understand it, sort it out as in creating a solution to change myself in the moment. This is a very active and self-aware process, in which breathing plays a role yes, but only as a constant reference of ‘being physical’ of reminding ourselves to ‘slow down’ – but only slowing down, only focusing on breath does not mean that we are actively changing who we are in thought, word and deed, but mostly only create a quietness that feels good, sure, but is not essentially us stepping in and taking responsibility for ourselves.

 

 

The principle behind this is very simple: when trying to only meditate, the effort is only one breath away, one can just ‘plug out’ with breathing and keep ourselves quiet in our bodies and minds for a while – but this becomes a way to avoid actually and genuinely facing Our creation which is what we’ve become in our minds, our experiences, our bodies and all of its illnesses. What happens when using ONLY meditation is that we are prone to recreate the same problems and origins of what caused us to seek meditation in the first place. Because in physical existence, nothing that we create is ever ‘gone by itself’ or ‘gotten rid of’ just by breathing it – there is a process, a self-aware and conscious process involved in doing this and that’s what I’ve walked through in the Desteni I Process for several years, which is actually a real process of effort, diligence, perseverance, drive and motivation to investigate oneself, all the corners and ‘dark corridors’ as the aspects of ourselves that we are reluctant to see and become aware of – and so take responsibility for.  Because we usually want quick fixes, nice fixes, feel good fixes such as it happens when using only meditation in an attempt to achieve real ‘peace of mind’ or ‘stability’ or ‘enlightenment’ or its various forms in which it is promoted.

Here, I am not saying that breathing is wrong or that it is useless or meditation is bad – nope, I’m being quite specific in saying that ONLY doing meditation in an attempt to genuinely correct/realign oneself to live in a supportive manner is most likely not the best way to go doing so, because of this effect of compounding energies that one suppressed only through breathing, yet one is not actively taking self-responsibility for oneself to deliberately change ‘that nature’ of ourselves that we can recognize is our creation, we have given it power/time/breaths through ourselves, therefore we can change that of ourselves and transform it  into a living word, a new behavior, a new way of ‘thinking’ if you will that is instead supportive for ourselves in our lives.

At Desteni it’s been always explained how breath is essential when it comes to that moment of becoming aware of having an experience, to then BREATHE so as to slow down, come back to our physical body – but this in itself is not the solution, one has to deliberately also investigate what came up within oneself, what did that thought, emotion or feeling represents as a part of oneself that we haven’t looked at/understood and so taken responsibility for, because we are still going to have to face what we have caused in our bodies, the reactions that we’ve triggered and actively deal with them. Like this quote from a Kryon interview on Eqafe.com explains:

 

“For example one can do this breathing, and move all of what one is experiencing within oneself into the chest area, and in the out-breath move it out… but what happens in that is that nothing will move because self is not making the decision to actually in fact move it. So you have to make that decision to move all that is existent within you that is overwhelming. Just breathe it in, into the chest area, make the decision from that moment to really let it go as you breathe out, and just physically move it out. It is like giving yourself an internal beingness-physical massage as the overwhelmingness moves out. This does not mean that the things are gone. Meaning that you are still gonna have to face what it is that created that overwhelmingness in the first place. All that this assists and supports with is to stabilize your beingness in your body so you can have a stable starting point again to face your mind. Because if it is that this in fact released everything, we could have just had all of humanity breathe their minds out. That would have been fantastic but unfortunately we have to face consequence, understand consequence and learn from it. So this is simply a practical physical assistance and support to get yourself to a stable physical point whenever your mind gets overwhelming, and then get back to how it is you got to that overwhelmingness in the first place. This is a similar process with regards to my beingness relationship to movement in terms of actually moving my beingness.”  Kryon – My Existential History – Part 5+6

 

This means that we usually tend to see our consequence – our experiences, our overwhelming emotions and feelings – as something that we want to get away from, ‘heal from’ through various healing and energy therapies, through meditation, through wanting to ‘remove’ our past lives or heal stuff somehow with all kinds of technologies and deceiving mechanisms really, because everything that we are, do and create in this world is etched in our bodies, in our environment and we can’t really get ‘rid of it’ through some external means, it has to be a personal self-aware/conscious process to do so, otherwise we are prone to create quick fixes and seemingly comforting experiences, only to then go back to the same reasons and experiences that led us to seek for those healings and therapies, wherein we then make ourselves dependent on an external source to ‘get rid of our consequence’ – which means here: we are once again abdicating our responsibility in seeking ‘external means and ways’ to have others or something ‘take the burden away from us’/make something ‘heal’ for us…. Isn’t that contradictory?

The bottom line of this process within Desteni is that one realizes one is the creator of it ALL, nothing and no one is really ‘separate’ from ourselves, nothing is really ‘out of our realm of responsibility’ – which means that the least we can do and start with is taking the actual time, dedication and responsibility it takes to walk our minds which means to get to know ourselves, to understand our relationships to energy, to understand why do we react in a ‘negative’ or ‘positive’ manner to certain things in our reality, to actively recognize this that we ‘dislike’ of ourselves or get discomforted by – including illnesses – as Our creation.

So, surely, breathing can be a point of support, it can feel great for a moment to focus on breathing, some 5 minutes a day – without having to ‘seat’ in a particular way or focus on any spiritual imagery – simply breathing and being with the body is definitely one challenge I can share with anyone here because then we will start realizing to what extent we are ‘hooked’ on our minds and experiences that ‘live for us’ instead of us understanding and directing ourselves to live physically, to live ourselves, to decide what to live instead of being moved by energies, fears, experiences of all kinds ‘up there’ in our minds.

Therefore as a complement to what people in this documentary propose and practice, which is breathing/meditation, is to focus on understanding such personal consequence that exists in all that our minds show us exists within ourselves, from the ‘minutest thought’ to the biggest of behavioral patterns and overwhelming experiences – it’s important to understand the ‘mind mechanics’ behind it all so as to not spiritualize or create a belief about what energy is, but physically understand what it is, its source and purpose and the role we have in relation to it: it’s all our creation and taking that responsibility for ourselves is surely one first and primary step to understand who we are, our creation and so recognize the actual power to change ourselves, in a self-aware manner, in a responsible manner, in an act of self-forgiveness which at the same time is a process of recognizing ourselves as the creators of our experiences, our reality, and so consciously and willingly make a decision to create/build/construct the kind of person and life that we want to live and lead as an example of.

Thanks for reading.  

 

Meditation

 

If you’d like some support in preventing and being 1+ person that stands up for life in a practical day to day living manner, check out:


452. Absolutism is in the Eye of the Beholder

 

One thing I have noticed throughout my life is how I tend to and have been very absolutist or extremist. This has led me to create my own conflicts whenever I try to ‘fit’ something into a very ‘black-and-white’ mindset where I don’t consider or allow shades of gray. And what I have not realized or considered is how it is only myself as my mind that is configured/set up to work this way, in an extremist and polarized manner where there is no further embracing of the multi-dimensions or multiple aspects/sides that exist to everything and everyone that is part of life on Earth.

A sentence that made me realize this with clarity was one of Anu’s statements on the explanation of the nature of our beingness and how to understand the ‘good and evil’ nature of who we are/have become and so seeing that, yes as much as it can be ‘narrowed’ down to saying ‘good and evil’, it also depends very much on ‘the eye of the beholder.’ This bit of sentence enabled me to realize how I am the one that can decide to see things in one way or the other; I can decide to remain in a narrow focus with which to approach people, situations, information and I am the one that places these very narrow and inflexible ‘frames’ upon everything, with which I then go categorizing, filing, defining something or someone according to these very absolutist, narrow, inflexible, extremist and short-sighted ways to be honest with which I had learned to see the world thus far. Why do I do this? For the sake of creating a notion of ‘knowing’ which gives a form of ‘control’ over something/someone or reality itself, because who we are in the mind seeks this kind of ‘power’ – lol – to know, to have already ‘digested’ and so concluded to have a particular view or conclusion about someone/something in reality; yet here I will share why I’ve realized this is actually not so at all.

What does this practically mean? It has a lot to do with having an ‘either /or’ mentality, it can be morality when having to define something as either entirely ‘good’ or entirely ‘bad’ and so kind of go making this ‘final judgment’ upon things. An example, there’s a ‘selection’ of foods that I eat now, yet with those same foods throughout time I have gone through a back and forth several times in wanting to ‘cross-out’ some of them based on defining them – according to knowledge and info – as ‘bad for my health’ and then I come across some other information and then I incorporate them again and place them on the ‘good for me’ list again… what is missing here?

To begin with I am following (fall-allowing) information only, I am not being the directive principle in testing things out for myself and seeing how my body does with each food, but instead I take the knowledge, make a religion out of it where I follow it as ‘how things work’ only to then have that same ‘religion’ be debunked by ‘another religion’ I can encounter on such as an explanation of how this particular food has been demonized by ‘mainstream health care’ information and the opposite effects are to be expected with this one food… and so where do I end up? Caught up in information, mis-informing myself based on how I blindly cut down my own practical investigation and immediately start following it, jumping from eating it all the time, to not eating something at all and vice versa.

This is what happens when we are looking at reality more through the eyes of information and making quick knowledge and information assessments on ‘how things work’ and missing out the practical physical reality testing out phase; and this is not only related to ‘deciding what to eat’ but it can be also related to people where we for example tend to immediately create an experience or very rough perspective on a person we just met based on what we ‘like’ or ‘don’t like’ in a 5 minute interaction… lol I mean this in itself already should speak volumes of how Narrow-viewed we are when immediately being very quick to upon 5 minute talks decide to like or dislike someone… here there is again this ‘like’ or ‘dislike’ approach in a polarized manner where we jump into conclusions, where we don’t allow ourselves any actual consideration of ‘another being’ in their entirety, their life context, who they are in the moment, the phase/situation of their life they’re at, their day, their physical experience in that moment of interaction, other/external factors to the interaction and a plethora of other aspects that we cannot even fathom exist in that one single moment of interaction with another.

Yet in our minds, we have not programmed ourselves to consider space-time physical reality and all of the multi-dimensions of it, nope. We only live ‘up there’ in our minds that in my case I’ve noticed works in this yes-no/ like-dislike / true-false/ right-wrong/ good-bad/ type of mentality, most likely it works like that in us all considering our minds work exactly the same.

So, here using the word ‘deliberately’ again as in making a conscious, considerate, intentional and willing decision to step out of the ‘absolutist’ mindset when it comes to how we are interacting with anything or anyone in our world. I have written about ‘assuming’ many times in this blog, because it precisely involves that ‘jumping into conclusions’, immediately ‘assessing’ things in this mind of mine, cutting-corners to expand my vision and just want a ‘quick outcome’ to then decide ‘who I am’ in relation to something or someone.

Therefore the correction and solution to this absolutist mindset that I’ve been applying is that whenever I see myself jumping into conclusions and wanting to frame something within an ‘either-or’ mentality, I have to take that deliberate step to consider the multiple dimensions, multiple factors about something or someone, and most of the time I’ve found it is actually quite enjoyable to kind of ‘prove me wrong’ in terms of seeing how actually narrow minded or tunnel-visioned I was when yes, going into a backchat about a person, a situation, a moment in reality where I am too quick to make a judgment and assessment of how I ‘qualify’ something or someone, instead of taking that moment to say “ok, can’t be black-and-white anymore, I’m stepping out of the absolutist/fascist mentality where I impose my own ‘view’ upon everything and everyone” – and this is thus the practical process of actually going embracing reality in its totality, whether it is a situation or event, a person I am interacting with, something I read/learn as knowledge and information, something that ‘happens in the world’ I mean, I’ve seen time and time again how we are all too quick to ‘side’ with one or the other side – usually it’s 2 based on our ‘binary’ system in the mind of polarities really, where there’s usually no space for multiple shades of gray.

See and this is where in a way this reminder of not being ‘black and white’ but dive into the multiple shades of grays is handy, because there’s in fact a lot of them– nope, not just 50 people, lol – and that is even a visual reminder so that whenever I see myself wanting to go from one extreme to the other, to take a moment to see further, to know more about the situation, person, information I am taking on, to test it out for myself, to engage more with a person for example and get to know who and how they are beyond a 5 minute interaction for example… asking more questions to really get to know who they are within the words that they speak and the statements that they make, it’s a whole different thing than just hearing something once coming out of their mouths and ‘filling out the blanks’ in our black-and-white mindset.

And so upon doing this, it is actually very cool to go expanding ourselves in really learning to See and Get to Know others, ourselves and so the reality that we create altogether and yes! Even understanding with more clarity the problems that we create based on how quickly we jump into our absolutist mindset, wherein then I can be the one point of solution and decide to go about life with a more ‘physical’ set of eyes, instead of only going mental doing this quick assessments of yes/no, love or hate and decide ‘that’s who we ultimately are’ in relation to something/someone.

As I said above, I actually enjoy being able to prove me wrong in my ‘rushed’ assessments about something, because it enables me to precisely go bit by bit letting go of this absolutist mindset and practically seeing how to start expanding or attaching these new ways of seeing/looking at things and people or situations in a more constructive way, in a more physical and real-time way other than ‘it’s either right or wrong’ type of thing.

It’s funny as well because throughout my life I actually disliked that people would only make a quick assessment on me based on certain ‘qualities’ that would be known by most, and yearned to be ‘truly known’ by another in a holistic manner, beyond what I was and represented as in my social environments or how people would usually ‘tag me’ as… and now I see that I had been reducing things/people/situations to that level of ‘either/or’ myself  for the most part, which proves the point of how we tend to project onto Others that which we haven’t yet done/been/lived for ourselves.

So, this is also a form of righteousness to let go of, where we usually believe that ‘others are the problem’ instead of being able to sit back and look within ourselves to see that we haven’t precisely yet given to ourselves or lived for ourselves that which we are commanding, yearning, asking others to be for us or do onto ourselves. So in a way here practicing the “give to myself first and be for myself that which I would like others to be and do onto myself as well”. It gives me first that step of responsibility to myself so that I can then stand as the expression of consideration, of expansion and embracing something someone in its multiple-qualities, factors and dimensions that we all are.

This has also been then a new starting point when meeting anyone and having even ‘one time only’ conversations where I genuinely enjoy getting to know them and kind of understand who they are, why they are what they are and even in a limited-time frame possibility also push myself to not make a quick ‘conclusion’ as to how I ‘frame’ the person, but learn to see another in their multiple-dimensions and facets and uniqueness that all of us are as human beings, and so not to jump into ‘defining’ another, but rather seeing them for that they shared/presented to me in that one moment, and that’s been very cool to do as well.

So now I have to also learn to do this with information as well, to not seek to quickly ‘figure things out’ or be driven to understand something ‘to the T’ to then decide ‘who I am’ or ‘how I relate’ to something or someone or in relation to a piece of information, but instead always integrate this consideration of the multiple shades of gray, the multiple dimensions or aspects that exist to something or someone, and that way I can go slowly but surely ‘dissolving’ or letting go of my own ‘caged’ mindset of polarities and extremes, and instead continue to learn how to embrace reality in its multiplicity, which is in fact another way of letting of of judging in general, stand down from our ‘personal court’ and ‘drop the case’ and ‘drop the charges’ lol. It is a decision for me to let go of the desire to control, to ultimately know, to tag, to define, to categorize…. and so embrace things as they are.

 

Thanks for reading.

 

 

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442. Back To Self: My Current Story

Today I’d like to share some things that I have been realizing for quite some time in relation to the process I’ve walked thus far in terms of, to put it simply, focusing a lot more on what’s happening ‘out there’ as the world, the problems outside of us, investigating and educating myself on how the systems in this world work and who we are as individuals within it all. I’ve spent a fair amount of time researching solutions, alternatives, groups, information, talking to people promoting and creating these solutions, a lot of it having to do with me having this drive to ‘find some way, somehow, to create a solution for humanity, for all the reasons we all know of course.

Here I begin by stating how I see that this is a relevant thing to do for each of us as human beings, to really put our time and effort to learn, educate ourselves on things one won’t ever get taught in schools/universities, like in my case even now getting to know that the people that were set as these ‘great figures’ in literature and art have been essential individuals in precisely creating and configuring also many of the cultural – excuse the word – fuckups we are living in right now, to place it mildly as mind control and behavioral entrainment. This is just one example based on what I studied in school only, though the same applies for all things related to politics, economy, sociology, culture, entertainment, sports… the list goes on, everywhere one can spot the exact same patterns ‘polluting’ the expression of something that we all could be living in this world if we were entirely self-aware and self-directive individuals.

Well, I just made the whole story short right there. For a long time I considered the focus on the ‘internal change’ as something of less importance or rather considering that some were ‘petty’ things or ‘meaningless’ when comparing them to and considering the ‘greater things’ that I conceived to be more relevant in (my) life, like un-convering the truths about money or getting to know who is who in the world of corporate ruling, the ins and outs of corruption in politics and so forth… again I still don’t see this as entirely irrelevant either, but I do see that in my mind I definitely had placed more emphasis on that ‘side’ a lot more while seeing ‘who I am within it,’ but at the same time also expecting that if any ‘real’ solution would emerge in this world, it would be implemented through a new money system, new political system, something ‘new’ or improved version of our current reality imposed ‘from the outside’ which is kind of funny now to see it that way – but hey, it takes also time/space to get to this understanding – of how essentially the world outside of ourselves is as fucked up as each one of us inside is. Surely, won’t apologize for the big words, because that is the stark reality of things in this world. I noticed time and time again whenever one uncovers any ‘solution’ or ‘alternative’ of some kind, or even general information on understanding ‘the problems’ of the world, the same old patterns of blaming some ‘they/them’  arise everywhere, placing this finger onto some kind of greedy/elitist/oligarchy and royal creators of the fuckup – not ever seeing any ‘me’ included in all of that information – and essentially also seeing how getting a little too much information creates this separate entity where one becomes maybe a bit too ‘knowledgeable’ about things, but, how much of it can one directly apply in one’s life today to make our day to day living better? And here I’m talking about very basic considerations like the way we relate with people in our environment, our decisions in what we eat, how we care for our bodies, how we communicate with others…. Etc. Simple ‘day to day’ stuff.

I can only say that through understanding the problems, one can also spot and trace the solutions as I have shared some of that throughout the years in these blogs that were also more related to the world ‘out there’ and I’m grateful that I’ve walked that point too. But more so than ever now, right now,  I am convinced that as much as it is important to continue seeing what changes happen ‘out there’ in politics or economics and so forth, as long as the self, the I, the ‘me’ in all human creations and equations is not changed = nothing will ever truly really change.

I gave to someone the example of how sometimes we focus so much on creating this super nice system ‘out there’ that is like a brand new pair of shoes, very nicely brushed and polished and brand new laces ready to be placed on a pair of feet. But, if that pair of feet has grown completely crooked because of having had an entire lifetime of having no shoes, shifting more to an enlarged proportion because of not ever having such structure – or being somewhat crooked for having no specific support while developing/growth process – then, fitting such shoes will be quite a push, a conflictive situation most likely because as a saying goes in Spanish ‘a  la fuerza ni los zapatos entran’ which means with force, not even the shoes really fit. This brings back to the point of how I was probably expecting this greatly aligned structure or societal system that could suddenly be voted on and implemented to just get ourselves to a ‘better place’ as humanity, surely not as a magic fix but as a starting point… I still can keep this idea as a nice hope if anything, but time and time again and upon seeing the actual process of time/space any change takes, I’ve decided to conclude that of course this won’t happen in my lifetime most likely and even if it does, I’m sure as hell there will be LOTS of work to do to focus on the self, the ‘personal education’ if you want to call it that which is essentially learning how to live as a real human-kindness.

On another aspect upon being myself part of a group and organization that is aiming at doing this at the best way of our ability, it is equally challenging when having the same principles or considerations to entirely put aside any personal patterns/limitations toward one another and individually to make something work, this is just the reality of things and it takes real effort and support from each other to keep standing and walking together, takes a real empathy and consideration each one of us to do so.  At the same time, I’ve seen how some great ideas, groups, political and social movements, associations for world change eventually stumble upon problems, obstacles, inner fights and struggles due to – mostly – personal egos clashing, differences between one another, power trips, greed, righteousness, individualism, resentments, comparisons, envies, control-freakism …. The list really does not end here. Some other problems are not all ‘negative’ but also implying ‘lacks’ like lack of trust with other human beings to create and develop something, lack of proper communication, lack of commitment, lack of considering responsibility in long term, lack of self-respect, lack of care, lack of humbleness, lack of motivation…. And the list also goes on.

So, throughout these past months and upon reflecting this, I realize that we definitely got a massive task at hand when it comes to considering ‘change’ in humanity and this world, and that is precisely starting within ourselves. I have been time and time again investigating things, seeing potentials and then only later on finding out the ‘nitty gritty’ details of some personal dispute in an organization, a lack of commitment, greed, self-sabotage, plain anger, depression, desire for only getting a pleasurable lifestyle being some of the obstacles to make something really work. And this was actually quite cool to see and realize, in spite of what it means in terms of ‘things not working out’, because I then saw how those organizations and solutions that truly work ‘to the T,’ are those that are currently running most of the ways in the world, and every person motivated there is being so because of money, huge profits, huge benefits, ‘great lifestyles’, power, control… yet when something truly implies working on an almost volunteer basis or simply doing what could be considered as ‘giving your time’ to something that is not immediately pleasurable or ‘nice’ in experiential value, it mostly doesn’t work because we simply haven’t learned to prioritize what really matters to be and do in our world.

So, this is how I saw the need to shift my focus and attention Back To Self, back to the very patterns at a mind level which of course become behaviors, patterns, ‘ways’ in which we interact with others and ‘who we are’ within ourselves that is really THE point that we have to turn our heads back to focus on. I enjoy having discussions with my partner about this/that system or solution or proposal here/there that could apparently ‘sort out the world’  and how eventually making it work would really, truly, depend on each one of us to make it work, to live according to the principles intended to be lived/applied in some of these solutions.  Time and time again we just end up saying the exact same words of ‘the lack of self honesty ruins this/that’ or ‘really, it all goes back to ourselves again’ ‘it’s about human nature change!’ or ‘any system will only be as good as the people in it’ wherein it IS human nature that – from my perspective and after all of these years of looking mostly ‘outside’ of myself and creating a form of ‘hope’ in that – we should focus on changing: ourselves.

Remember that saying of ‘be the change you want to see in this world?’ I consider I didn’t entirely get it before, I was more like considering it as in ‘investigate all that you can to find the solution out there, do your part in it!’ which surely, again, it’s cool and honorable as well to care at that level… but over and over again I see the lack of common sensical considerations which are embedded in principles like doing and considering what is best for everyone, considering everyone as equals in living substance, doing, sharing, assisting others as I would like to be shared with, assisted with and done unto, loving/caring for others as I am learning to love/care for myself, to develop effective relationships with those that are in our immediacy, learning how to be a supportive parent, to learn how to become a better person that stands with self-awareness, integrity, self-respect, self-care, self-honesty, dedication, commitment, discipline, humbleness, perseverance and a great determination to truly become an example in this world of what it means to become a living breathing human being.

These are truly ‘great words’ and I surely got a long way to get these words lived as ‘who I am’ meaning as the new ‘nature of me’ I am willing to create for myself – but I will say it until I give my last breath as I learned also from Bernard Poolman: unless we focus on ourselves, to align every bit of our being to stop the ‘sabotage’ or ‘mind patterns’ that exist within us that we reflect on the nature of ‘the outside’ as world system: nothing will ever change. Here it can sound too ‘radical’ for some, but I rather share it than keep it ‘brewing’ in my insides. I rather leave it here as a declaration and statement of where I stand, what I am mostly interested on and so focused on, having in a way gone all around just to get back to this core point, which is cool because now it stands as a proven fact, nor only a statement or theory I got.

Here I’ve also taken my time to write this out because I’ve been deliberately almost wanting to ‘prove myself wrong’ in such declaration, in the sense of wanting to actually find something that truly works because every person is in fact embodying the principles and alignments that are intended as a form of solution or aid for the world. It is hard to find one, dare I say it is non-existent as of yet. Why? Because it is only fairly recently that we have ‘woken up’ from the slumber of being these programs running around seeking self-interest only and caring little to nothing about ‘the world out there’, dare I say even question the kind of ‘motivations’ we use to wake up every day. And even if there’s been people that have spent their lives trying to make a change or have lived in a principled and considerate manner for their entire lives – just as it happened with Jesus – just ‘listening to them’ and seeing how ‘nice’ it all sounds does nothing, because unless one actively ‘gets the point’ and commits to be that living change within oneself, it all becomes futile when it comes to creating a great impact ‘out there’ for a greater change.

Here also I reflect on how it’s a bit funny when I look back at how I wanted to see this kind of change in some form of ‘same movement’ or ‘en masse’ in some kind of sudden and empowering life changing event, lol. Nope! Most likely won’t ever happen like that. Instead it will be this individual process of actual evolution/revolution/change if you will, where each one that decides to ‘get the point’ of what it means to ‘be the change in the world’ will genuinely be and live so by substantiating our day to day lives with words, attitudes, behaviors, ‘ways of being’ toward ourselves and others and everything that we do in a way that we go day by day becoming a better person, in the considerations of the principles mentioned above. This way, I am quite certain, we can truly change the world. Because the more and more people realize what kind of atrocities exist within our minds, in our personal relationships with those around us – yes, those that we are supposed to ‘care for and love for’ but might be struggling to have a decent communication with – are in fact THE problems to focus on and sort out first of all, if we are to ever create a healthy path and way for the coming generations to step in a more self-responsible type of culture and society in general.

What I also like about this approach is that you don’t need to have a particular ‘affiliation’ with anything either, unless you can/want to do so, but it is simply a set of principles and considerations that one can live and apply no matter where you are in the world, how alone or how accompanied you live, what ideologies you may have, what systems or projects you might be involved in = doesn’t matter! These are all universal considerations so that no matter ‘what’ or ‘where’ one is, one can apply these points and be part of the change in this world, just by deciding to make some changes in one’s life and actually doing so.

In this I’ve also proven that one can understand many things about the world out there, trace all problems back to money, which is really the way we have created, accepted and allowed money to exist and behind it lies the rest of the human ways that are in fact the root and cause of the problems in this world, and that is where I realize time and time again the focus should be on as well and in this, doesn’t matter how well one can understand the theory: if we are not really seeing within ourselves the ‘qualities’ that we’ve given to money itself, if we are not seeing ourselves as the origin of the problem and so realizing ourselves as the origin of the solution = it will be quite hard to get us all to the ‘next step’ for this process of self-responsible living change, which is really not only a matter of intellectually realizing it and getting an ‘aha’ realization, it’s an actual challenging day to day ‘doing’ which is where the ‘proof of the pudding’ is… knowing the ingredients and ‘way to make’ is one thing, surely important part but! What matters is really the ‘making’ of it.

It’s good to get informed, get to know the intricacies of our reality, get to know essentially what one has accepted and allowed without any awareness, and to continue to be aware of the actual purposes of most of the stuff we get to see on ‘mainstream’ waves and in our common realities – but I’d recommend to also at the same time do the personal self-check of always tracing those points/patterns that lead to a general human/systemic sabotage back to self, whether they are greed, deception/lies, self-interest, self-indulgence, perversion, dishonesty, laziness, racism, a slave mentality, doing the least effort, seeking personal satisfaction only, despotism, selfishness, fighting, punishing, keeping grudges, comparing…. Etc. all of these points can be traced ‘back to self’ and see well where do I stand in relation to all of these principles, how can I truly stand as a self-responsible individual, how can I also learn to actually live, how can I expand and grow as a person and assist others in doing the same? And when looking at this, I can say that I’ve barely started, which is great! Because then it is all pointed back to myself, I have the key to change these aspects for me by me and within me no matter ‘where I am’ in the world, or ‘what I do’ – this is about changing the nature of who I am in my own personal work, my own day to day living wherein every moment is either an opportunity to change, live and prove a way to better oneself, to become creative in simple things in our lives – or it becomes another day of re-living the past, the tormented mind, the depression, the ‘struggle’ and or the ‘hopeful’ and self-saboteur  character expecting something/somehow to suddenly – faithfully, hopefully – fix the world?

 

For now where I stand is actually probably for the first time in this entire self-support process, focusing more on the ‘me’ here, the ‘little things’ in myself and my personal life and in doing this also extending it to whoever I can and am able to, doing as I would like to be done unto.

For example, I can say I am for the first time developing a supportive relationship. Sounds simple, for some might sound as too selfish or self-interested or losing ‘ground’ when it comes to my previous approach also to this blog, which are in fact my own thoughts of the past too in considering ‘there are more relevant things in life than my petty life’ but! I’ve proven myself wrong: the more I focused on the ‘outside’ or what I perceived as ‘greater’ or perceived ‘more important things’ the more I escaped or avoided myself from looking within and actually facing oneself in a situation such as a relationship where a LOT of patterns, behaviors, selfishness, righteousness, greed, emotional reactions, forms of control can come up and emerge to be faced within oneself, which can either become a nightmare or a ‘blessing’, depending of where one is in one’s personal process as well. And here again tracing the line back to how these same ‘ingrained ways’ have become the ways/methods and the nature of the ‘systems’ that we are currently accepting and allowing ourselves to be ruled and governed by in the outside, well why? Of course because they are human creations! J

I am entirely willing to walk this point and for first time learn to trust myself in a relationship for example, for the first time be willing to challenge ‘my ways’ – which oh boy are they ‘ingrained’ and in all little subtleties or seemingly ‘menial’ things that us human beings tend to simply little by little ‘brush aside’ to focus on ‘the greater’ – and dare to embrace another person in my life and what that in fact means in a dedicated manner.  And this extends to other areas like focusing on developing a supportive relationship with my body, with the people around me, my family, to give the best of myself in my work and the support I can provide to others, to commit to apply myself even in the most ‘routinely’ moments that we don’t question much yet reveal a lot of ‘what is ruling inside us’ as well, to not give into the least effort, but to genuinely see what expression of myself do I want to create today that is beneficial for me and so others as well.

 

Someone may consider or say I am missing the point of walking both points simultaneously, within and without, and surely that’s a great approach, but It would be mostly awesome if that ‘within’ approach is equally emphasized as the outside process that sometimes, might be perceived as the only point that needs change or as a ‘short cut’ for self or personal change, which I consider it will be really difficult to happen unless! It happens and I am entirely proven wrong, which would be actually very awesome at the same time and then I would be able to expand my current perspective. But for now, I simply share here how we/us human beings can end up wrecking up the smartest and best solutions that can exist as a plan/project or ‘on paper’ idea due to not having been in fact living the actual principles embedded within these beneficial ideas… so I place back the finger to us and our human nature to focus on.   

The single decision to do personal changes in our day to day whether it is a particular experience of fears, depressions, anguish, blame, discomfort in ‘one’s own skin’ that one might be facing, an addiction, a lack of will to care for one’s body, a disregard for another in our lives, a ‘bad relationship’ … just by taking this one point and walking it through to a point of change and alignment to what is best for all might take some time, can’t tell ‘how long’ but who cares really!? It is a matter of self-respect to decide to do so, it is the decision to do so and live such decision that which matters the most from my perspective, to not only ‘try’ and give up next day, but actually ‘doing it’ fully with the whole intent of truly becoming ‘a new person’ that can then be the example, the ‘first stone in the flesh’ of creating a new society, a new world where everyone is truly caring and loving each other.

It is for those genuine decisions to gather courage to face the real ‘evil’ within oneself, to get out of one’s comfort zone and commit oneself to change, to focus on ‘bettering oneself’ or ‘working on oneself,’ being diligent in letting go of one’s ‘mind patterns’ or ‘ego’ – for a lack of better word – that I actually take my hat off for, because this is what takes the actual courage and most challenging situations to do, where the actual day to day and moment to moment ‘tests’ exist that truly can change our ‘wood’ so to speak, the nature of what ‘we’re made of’ and have been up to now if we decide so. Doing this would, as a result, be reflected in the world we create, which at the moment and how we stand as ‘creators of our reality’ I am sure you also consider it is a disgrace and a shame to call ourselves the creators of it all.

So, to no longer wallow in all that we know is ‘wrong’ out there and all the corruption, greed and torturous nature of the system out there… I rather ask each one of us to take the finger of blame, anger, discord, apathy and vengefulness back to self and this is where I see that we can all, together, without exception – one by one – genuinely discover all the potential we hold within ourselves, if we just dare to truly focus on ourselves to ‘be the change that we want to see in this world.’

 

Thanks for reading

 

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