Tag Archives: self respect

619. Learning From Relationships

 

I listened to three audios on Eqafe that I find essential to listen for everyone, considering how most of us – or so far I’ve only known one person in my life that was not interested in having a relationship – are usually looking for and aiming to ‘find that ONE person’ to establish a relationship with.  Here are the titles: Fear of Missing Out on a Fulfilling Relationship – Fears & Phobias, Using Relationships to Hide From Myself – Life Review, Time Alone Before Time Together – Life Review.

When I listened to the Life Review specifically, I could relate to what the woman shared with regards to the little time spent without and in between relationships and how that affected her in disconnecting from herself, from who she was and how much the constant seeking for a relationship made her dependent on the ‘other’ person to be complete within herself – this might be a bit of a vague description on my side, so I definitely recommend you listen to her story yourself. But! here I’m focusing on sharing what opened up for me as I was listening to her story.

First of all realizing that I have been in such kind of situation where I would end a relationship and start another one right away, not spending time alone to reconsider where I am and who I have been in the relationship –  in terms of what were my lessons learned, points expanded, faults, mistakes, things I can be grateful for etc. – and instead jumping into the next relationship. This is probably one of those weakest points I’ve had throughout my life and one that I have been particularly – secretly – ashamed of because it is obvious that it involves a lack of honesty towards myself within relationships in terms of what I can accept and allow, what I can commit to and how I have disregarded the consequences and the effect that me changing my mind about relationships can have on the partner and people around as well.

I share this because I do consider it vital to apply what the woman shares about her story, to be able to take some time off from relationships in order to ‘get back to oneself’. I’ve done both things and will share my experience in both situations.

There was a time that I’ve recently in my mind judged as very bleak, lonely and fruitless, this happened when I was living in Mexico City and I deliberately decided to learn to be alone – in a rather ‘extreme’ way to be alone I’d say – being then fully aware of my tendency to become dependent on being ‘always there’ for other people, being the kind of partner that lives the life of the partner and has none of her own – I decided to learn to be by myself –that means without relationships – and learn to know what I enjoy doing, learn to be comfortable being alone and doing things alone, going out shopping, to the movies, living on my own. Yes, maybe I took it to the extreme in terms of the lack of interaction I had with other people – including family and friends – but that’s something I am also now learning to do in terms of not being too extreme in the way that I decide to change things. So, in a nutshell, I call it my monkish period, and as much as in my mind I’ve judged it as a generally ‘bleak’ time, when I recently looked deeper into it to not resent my choices at that time, I see that such years were dedicated to live ‘me’, to know me better, to learn to be alone, to learn to do things that I decide to do – not that someone else ‘takes me’ to do – and there was a sense of independence formed that I would not trade off or change, because it assisted me to see where and how I compromised myself many times for the sake of being in a relationship and existing in fear of ‘losing’ something that I now know was not best for me, was constantly emotional, troublesome and detrimental to my expression and my living.

Then I got to a point where I decided I could establish a relationship again and I did, again looking back not having the best starting point because it did come from having formed an experience of alones at the time, but I tried to make it work nonetheless. I had settled in one relationship believing I could change the person, conforming in certain ways to make it work and taking the compromise lightly to say the least, not fully being aware of the commitment that I was making at the time and the challenges it represented. But I wanted to make it work for both of us, which didn’t happen. At least I proved to myself that I could fully and absolutely commit to another and still see that even if I am doing all that I can to assist and be ‘there’ for another, it takes two to tango to stand on the same page. I broke that relationship even if there were legal formalities formed with it.

After that, I had a few months to yes go through the sorrow, pain and ‘disconnection’ process from that relationship but I did decide to enter a new relationship after that; though fortunately enough did still have the opportunity to be alone and process through all of the things that I had accepted and allowed – created – in the previous relationship. But still, I do consider that I went ahead too fast and without much consideration of the implication of making such decisions not only for myself, but for the other person as well. This year I repeated the same, because of not having had that needed time to ground myself around relationships and one thing I can tell is that unless one has an understanding partner that has full awareness of the previous relationship patterns, it can be a disaster recipe to go jumping from one relationship to another.

I was in a way fortunate that my partner was understanding of it all, not that he approves of what I’ve done and my relationship habits, but again, he is aware and he made a decision to stand with me anyways and understood that I had things to process from my previous relationships at the same time as starting a new one. The thing that I want to share is how it’s not a bright idea to not give oneself time to be alone after a relationship ends, it can lead to not fully considering things in terms of what one is able to commit to and the effect it may have by making a decision without proper time for reflection, for personal assessment of the mistakes, the things allowed, the points that one needs to self-forgive and work through, because it does ‘filter’ or ‘spill through’ to the new relationship and it may lead to ruin if one does not handle the situation with proper sense of responsibility and communicating about it and again, having a partner that can understand and not take it personally either.

So from my recent experience, this kind of situation led to a great amount of stress that I became unaware of – apparently – and I became sick or having certain health issues almost on a regular basis for the past months. This can also be a narrow perspective on my health situation, but this is what I’ve concluded recently, that I put myself under a lot of stress because of the decisions I made in relation to relationships, where not being honest with myself and towards others led me to compromise myself and that became an ingredient to constantly be thinking of guilt, burdening myself with the ‘wrong doings’ while at the same time starting a new relationship and opening up all the potentials that this entails. It’s not a great thing to walk an ending and a beginning simultaneously – point learned.

I would not be able to share this from a clearer view currently if it wasn’t for the process that I did to self-forgive myself for my decisions, my actions and mistakes,  my short-sights and also forgiving myself for the damage caused to others by my lack of consideration or selfishness that this kind of situations entail. However, I also understood that there’s no point in continuing to flagellate myself emotionally, all that I can do is learn from it and know that I cannot repeat this kind of behavior again in my life, or I’d be simply falling again into my old patterns that I’ve worked on already. I did judge myself because of wanting to ‘make things right’ and ‘work through it’ and in a way being in disbelief that I could have managed to ‘repeat myself’ in patterns that I thought I had changed over the ‘monkish’ phase of being alone and without relationships – but, as I now know, I cannot be sure that something is entirely ‘clear’ and ‘transcended’ within me at all, it always takes a daily – constant – decision to act in the way that is right, that is supportive, that is considering consequences, that is responsible and self-honest for myself and for others that I have an effect on.

Currently I assess my situation on a constant basis when it comes to my relationship, because it has enabled me to see where I could be compromising myself or constructively compare how I have now seen that I was compromising myself before when trying to ‘be’ something for someone else in a relationship.  When I decided to be in this relationship, I did take the time to consider who I wanted to be in it and what would be of myself IF the relationship simply doesn’t work, knowing I could stand on my own two feet as well. So, I might have taken a ‘big risk’ considering  the rushed and somewhat risky decision making processes I’ve taken in the past without much ‘thought’ into my relationships, but this time I did make sure to entirely be ‘me’ making the decision and fully taking the responsibility for what I decide to make of it. 

I did take the time to assess the person, even if it was a relative short amount of time of doing this, there were characteristics that stood out for me enough to consider how this could work through, which included sharing with him the process I’ve walked with relationships, the weaknesses, the mistakes I’ve made, the dishonesties, the repetitive patterns I’ve had and that I still have such points to work through for me, to reestablish my self-trust in relationships – with all the past disclosed – and this is now where I can prove to myself that I can stand in an equal manner in loyalty, honor, respect and integrity that such person has given to himself throughout his life, which I am currently learning a lot from as well.

It is not my position to share his views here, but in a way I do want to do it, because he’s that person I mentioned at the beginning that has been known by everyone – and himself – to not desire a relationship or ‘lust’ over women at all. Everyone had always asked him when he would have a relationship and he always said that wasn’t something he was looking for, explicitly not interested on because he knew himself as a different kind of person that would find it hard to find a woman that could ‘stand’ through his ways of living life and the principles he has. He just wanted to work and focus on bettering his life. Well, that kind of approach led him to learn to live and be for himself the best that he can be. He is probably one of the few people I know that loves himself and regards himself as a self-made man that wasn’t always dedicated and hardworking to get to be who he is now, but made a decision to step out of the shadows and strive to do what he was told was ‘impossible’ for him to achieve. That sort of strength made him aware of his capacity and potential, which is part of the characteristics that I saw made him a ‘whole’ man already, not really looking or searching or being ‘needy’ for anything or anyone to ‘complete’ him or make him feel ‘better’ about himself.

This is how he considers that most people should not constantly go jumping from one relationship to another, but be able to be alone even for the rest of their lives if necessary, because they are not yet the best for and towards themselves. This view is perceived as too ‘extreme’ by his friends, but I’ve come to understand his point based on what he has lived and what I have lived and the consequences I’ve faced because of having held this constant belief that ‘I need to be in a relationship’ and the outflow this has. I’m not saying that this is how it’s supposed to be, but simply different ways to approach the relationships. Mine was more ‘trial and error’ and yes causing consequences for me and for others, his was more of a holistic approach of deciding to be in a relationship if and when the right person would exist for that.

Of course, he is now in a relationship and that may seem contradictory for many, but he explains how this is the first relationship he’s ever had – and took it to the level of absolute commitment and responsibility, which has led him to explore and open up many more ways of enjoyment in life, more than the ones that he already had been living on his own. I don’t want to sound like I’m praising him, but I do want to share  this because I’ve noticed how many strengths are built through deciding to be ‘the best for you’, to learn to be a man – or a woman – for oneself first, to learn to love, care, be the joy of our own lives instead of expecting something or someone to come and ‘save us’ or ‘fulfill’ our lives in one way or another. So, his usual perspective or ‘advice’ to anyone is to learn to be alone and learn to be ok with themselves, letting go of the notion of needing a relationship – and even better, to not participate or create a habit in desiring sex or porn or that sort of mental-masturbation in relation to women – or the opposite sex – at all, which leads to a genuine discovery of physical expression in a relationship, probably something that most people ‘seek out’ through mind stimulation and my take is that this pollutes or ‘disconnects’ us from the ‘hereness’, the physical development of actual touch and clear-mindedness so to speak required in a developing a physical relationship. This is not only related to sexual expression, but also in relation to fully focusing on being with the one person you decide to be with and not entertaining any thoughts, ideas, beliefs or glances at something or ‘someone else out there’ that ‘could be better’ than the relationship one has decided to be in.

What I’ve gathered from my time with him is how it truly takes that sort of diligence to honor and respect oneself and not exist solely for the idea of a ‘relationship’ as something to ‘get to’ or ‘find’ as an absolute goal in one’s life. It seems that as one focuses and works on fulfilling oneself and becoming that person that one enjoys looking at in the mirror – and not only for appearance level – but for the person one shapes of oneself – then one simply aligns with people that are on that same ‘track’ so to speak in their life, and that’s how you meet and realize that it is something that can work as a betterment platform for both, which was my approach as well when deciding to establish this relationship. We both agreed that this was going to be a relationship of two fulfilled individuals walking together, me knowing that if I decide to no longer be in the relationship, he’s not going to be ‘needing’ me as such, but will continue his life and endeavors as usual and vice versa – communication and understanding and assessment at any time.  The relative ease with which this agreement-  as he also called it – was able to be established is simply because of seeing the affinity in our ways of thinking and living and our principles and the way of living as well as our aims in life. I am fully aware some of my views are not that ‘popular’ with regular people, because they may sound too ‘out there’ or ‘difficult to achieve’- but not for him.  Then it is simply like two notes resonating at the same level that consider they can join in and create a harmony that will better the sound in each other’s life – and that’s what it currently is and has been.

There are so many more things that I’ve been learning about myself in relation to him in that have opened my eyes to see what kind of limitations I was making ‘ok’ within previous relationships, where and how I was not being honest with myself and rather molding or making myself ‘comfortable ‘about things that I wasn’t entirely willing to live with, but made it all ‘ok’ because of the idea that no one can be perfect and that I would always have to kind of ‘struggle’ in a relationship – now I know it doesn’t have to be this way. And I’m not saying this is currently perfect, but now I know that there can be people that can be at that same level of self-awareness and self will to live a different life than most people, which is what I’m here to do in this world, to continue cutting through the mold and not limit my expression, my ‘wacky’ way of being that I have come to re-ignite and rediscover within myself, something that makes me enjoy life more and something that I had judged as ‘not fit’ for everyone’s taste and so believing I had to be more ‘accommodating’ for others. In a nutshell, I’ve come to be aware of self-compromise, which is also one  tendency I’ve had in relationships where I kind of sink into the background and mold myself to fit into the idea of who I believe the other person wants me to be – even if this is most of the times my own projection.

The bottom line is that even if one can make ‘mistakes’ in relationships, the point is to always learn more about oneself, to use each opportunity one has to share one’s life and expression with another to learn more about who we are with each person, and yes unfortunately at times getting to also know the ‘darker’ aspects of ourselves – not to be turned into something necessarily bad or evil – simply recognizing that there are things that may be subtle at first but eventually build up or accumulate to compromise, to diminish ourselves even in the most ‘unnoticeable’ ways and I say ‘unfortunately’ – yet at the same time, I would not have known otherwise if I had not made mistakes and learned to see where I truly want to be in terms of standing in a relationship with someone else, first of all checking – on a constant basis – not to limit, diminish or compromise me in order to ‘be’ in a relationship as a need point.

So, having said this, I now realize that as painful, troublesome and consequential it is, mistakes allow us to also see the paths that we don’t want to follow through. Sure, it’s best when we can identify this earlier on and not have situations escalate and have more consequential breakups, but I now see that this is something quite specific for me to face based on the life that I had lived before I started this process with Desteni, my ‘processing’ done in that alone time and how I do realize how easy it is to slip back into old programming if not fully considering one’s actions and acting again on a ‘whim’ so to speak, making decisions without giving myself time to know first of all where I stand and then where I would want to stand in relation to someone else.

Based on my experience and the example I shared about my partner and how he led his life, I see that the best thing one can do is to give oneself time to learn to BE for oneself, to learn to truly love and appreciate yourself first, to be that one person that you can enjoy living with so that no matter who you join your life with – or not at all – you continue being whole and complete by yourself, so that 1+1 equals 2 instead of being existing as a half that seeks another half to create a codependent relationship that most likely ends up in compromise, diminishment and harm towards one another.

A relationship is a platform of support to become a better person, to grow, to learn from each other, to communicate openly without holding back or secrets, to express openly, to test and try new ways of living and expressing without judgment, to walk through disagreements and challenges with understanding – but! to do all of these great things takes a lot of self-work first, otherwise we base our entire ‘wellbeing’ on another person ‘all of this’ for us, and that’s where the fuckup usually is. So! Self first, always, then the rest of the people or situations that may come into our live become opportunities of expansion, a complement that can be beneficial not only for the people in the relationship but also for those that surround the relationship and for whatever is created within the relationship, which becomes an example of what a supportive relationship can be in a world where most exist in consequences and conflict – my personal view and experience here.

Ok so that’s it, again, listen to the Eqafe recordings, they are a great eye opener to understand more of what I shared here as my ups and downs, my faults, my points to learn and correct through relationships.

Can also learn to do this through the Relationship Course in Desteni which assisted me to ground many of the foundations that I now realize have to be lived in a very disciplined way of establishing self-honesty within self, otherwise they become nice principles on paper only – as always, the key is to live it and REALLY stick to Doing it.

Thanks for reading

 

Self First -

 

Join us in our process of Self-Expression as LIFE

Advertisements

539. Taking Life Seriously

 

§  Continuing from: 530. The Secret Behind Attraction

 

A particular trait that I had also defined as ‘superior’ was the expression of seriousness within people linked to a particular intellectual character wherein both points – the characterization or ‘portrayal’ at a physical manner level plus all the ‘right words’ would usually lead me to feel intimidated or perceiving that I was ‘less than’ people that would present themselves as very articulate, stoic in their expression and most of all serious in their expression or communication, perceiving that this seriousness was something that I lacked – apparently – and that I would therefore only get to admire in others for the rest of my life.

Over the years of walking the Desteni Process, I’ve been able to slowly but surely debunk my own perceptions around this seriousness wherein I myself have embodied such seriousness as a way to cause a certain impact upon people in an attempt to say: look, I mean this for real, I care for this – which would at the same time then be more of a ‘show’ for others in my expression than me living seriousness in a supportive manner, and this I explain in a certain perspective in a vlog I made today here.

Here I want to check where I am in relation to this ‘seriousness’ and aligning it to what I want to live as an expression of ‘taking life seriously’ which doesn’t mean I have to keep a straight face all the time or act in a rigid and in a controlled manner, appear stoic and ‘motion-less’ or be overtly intellectual to be perceived by others as ‘me being a serious person.’ It is interesting how the definition of seriousness is mostly linked to this rigid expression which of course myself as a female, it became easy to associate this ‘seriousness’ mostly with males, which I have linked to a form of ‘physicality’ (which I’ll open up in a blog to come, a stability, confidence, grounding experience which I had separated myself from based on comparing my expression to that of males mostly, considering my bubbly and ‘flowy’ expression at times as a form of  weakness instead of simply embracing it as a part of my expression, no more or less than any other – so here again exposing the problem of going into comparison leading to an inevitable polarity of ‘more or less than’ which recreates consciousness-speak.  

So, here what I separated myself from is again a mind-experience related to ‘seriousness,’ a set of characteristics that are portrayed as a personality, a façade, a way of behaving or presenting oneself towards others, instead of actually living the word seriousness.

What does ‘taking life seriously’ mean to me? Essentially comprehending the role that each one of us have as creators of this reality and acting accordingly, which implies taking responsibility for our lives in our mind, being and body, learning to and applying ourselves to correct every aspect of our lives that we are the creators of and understand then the relevance each one of us has in this process of birthing life from the physical, in other words: taking seriously our role as ‘gods’ of our creation.

Here I want to specify how I’ve observed this within myself and other people that I’ve come to be in close contact with throughout my life wherein I would be intimidated or ‘in awe’ of certain people presenting themselves in this ‘serious’ character, yet when it comes to actually ‘walking the talk’ as in living the seriousness and intellect they might have had into a supportive manner, there was still quite a threshold and I could observe this within myself as well where I became more of a ‘show for others’ than fully grasping the actual capacity I had to live what I was preaching to the T and so genuinely take life seriously.

This assists me to debunk my own perceptions about what I’ve defined in me as a lack of ‘seriousness’ and instead now realize that I can assess for myself according to how I’ve lived, the decisions I’ve made and what I’ve committed myself to in order to define whether I am taking life seriously or not. I can self-honestly say yes based on the self-commitment I have, not to the utmost potential of ‘taking life seriously’ yet though, but I have a direction and set of ways to continue doing my part in whichever way I can to contribute to this living process from consciousness to self awareness as life.

I can therefore say that I have yet to fully embody taking my life seriously, but I understand and have walked in a consistent manner this practical learning process called life in self-awareness  of us being the creators of our lives, all of us being responsible for every action and consequence that has shaped our lives and that of others – understanding the scope of this existential process and at the same time understanding our role in it all.

Taking life seriously means participating in this process, being a life-birther so to speak not only in thoughts or eloquent speeches, but in who we are in our day to day actions, decisions, choices, ways of living, behaving, the kind of relationships we form with people, the kind of life we lead towards others and in our very own ‘secret mind’ – all of this is what reveals how serious we are with our own life and so life itself.

And because I cannot really ever measure or judge anyone as being serious or not about life, I can only live and do that for myself in my own life, and that’s what I commit to do, so that whenever I see I am being lax about the effect of my thoughts, words and actions in the constant and continuous process of co-creation in this reality, I have to ground myself back into taking life seriously and reminding myself that nothing that I participate for is ‘unaccounted for’ or ‘forgotten’ or ‘erased’ from the physical memory in this reality.

We have been existing into a seemingly ‘comfortable’ tunnel vision to understand the actual immediate co-creative abilities we have onto our reality with our very thoughts, words and deeds and their consequences of course as the proof of that, no matter how we may justify them or ‘paint’ them, we are all equal co-creators in this – yet, each one of us has the ability to decide what kind of creation process one gives life to, and the level of self-awareness that we have the potential to exist as vs. the level of awareness we ‘choose’ to blind ourselves with from our individual and collective responsibility to the whole.

So, here I commit to remind myself to not be impressed or intimidated by a personality that looks and sounds serious, eloquent, precise, meticulous, common sensical yet intellectual in nature, because this is where I need to always remind myself that as simple as it might sound: talk is cheap, words are ‘easy to say,’ they are ultimately just words, speeches – but Living Words is a whole different story. What we need is people actually living what we preach and this applies not only as an external ‘role’ or ‘profession’ for the world out there, but actually being so in one’s day to day.

Therefore, the point here is for me to be an example of what it means to take life seriously in my every thought, word and deed, wherein I commit to do what I set myself to be and do in the name of what’s best for all, where my life can stand as a testimony of what it means to ‘be the change you want to see in this world’ and do so without having to resort to the usual traits and personalities that may use ‘seriousness’ as a way to portray a form of superiority or ‘authority’ which many times – if not most – are not congruent in terms of ‘personal’ and ‘professional’ life.

That’s the divide I want to break here in my own life where I am not just someone that divides life and work in order to be ‘two separate beings’ that can take life seriously and not at the same time – no matter ‘what’ I do and where I am in the system, I commit myself to taking life seriously as in not being lax to my own application of self-correction and living expansion, and to honor that commitment through every decision I make in my life, which translates into living integrity and self-respect as creators of our lives= as within, so without.

That’s the kind of individuals that I’d like us all to become and debunk for once and for all the external facades of ‘care towards life’ that are not genuinely honored in the nature of who we are as individuals, becoming ‘cheap talk’ with no substance at all – and this is what I am here challenging within myself, to stick to my truth, to live my words, to practice what I preach in my living reality on a day to day basis, beyond only conveying good sounding words which anyone can ultimately convey – this is about sharing one’s truth and one’s commitment to actually live and embody as the new nature of ourselves as human beings, and that’s the kind of seriousness I’m definitely all in for in my existence.

Thanks for reading  

 

 

Join us in our process of Self-Creation as LIFE


478. Want Transparency and Integrity? Let’s BE It

Or how to start becoming the solution to all lies and deception within our very own minds

There was a great opening by Cerise and Joe to consider how it would be for every person in our lives to know about what we have thought, imagined, fantasized in absolute detail doing or saying to them throughout our entire life and then asking ourselves if knowing all of this would change the way they see us, and if we would be able to face them without shame or guilt.

The ‘scary’ thought of this implies right off the bat: we got a ton to work on in relation to developing self-honesty which means acknowledging our very own thoughts, every fantasy or imagination, every experience created by ourselves as a form of self-interest where we only consider ourselves but never really give too much of a thought about that person that we are ‘thinking, gossiping, judging, fantasizing’ about in any way – positive or negative, same thing – because for the most part we’ve believed that these things do not affect others, but it’s become quite clear that we cage each other in our own ideas, beliefs, perceptions about others which we synthesize as a form of judgment, backchat, reaction towards another that we then turn into behaviors, ways of ‘treating’ a person which means, we make of those opinions a ‘very real’ representation of the other person in our minds, which then defines how we treat them/see them/acknowledge them, where we justify whatever we are doing onto ‘them’ because it seems righteous, because we believe ‘that’s who They are’ – but, considering that every single person would be able to see and get to know the exact detail of everything I have ever thought about them in my mind, it would surely be a daunting consideration, but to be honest I’ve been hearing the words ‘all will be known’ for close to 9 years now and this has definitely been a factor to curb my ‘self-entertainment’ in a continuous  way related to how and what I think about others.

However this does not mean it is entirely done and sorted out in me, not at all. I’ve faced many forms of challenges in relation to what I think, perceive, judge or react to in others, and the truth is that I many times don’t immediately stand on my ground of self-responsibility to rather see what are these thoughts, judgments, fantasies or experiences revealing about myself. I actually had been considering this for the past couple of days and here to answer the question, I do consider that people would definitely react upon seeing whatever I have thought or perceived about them, because we are not really taught to deal with such perceptions/imaginations about others in our minds as the expression of those that think or fantasize about it and that in no way does it really define ‘who we are’ – meaning, in any case, anything I have thought, gossiped, idealized, imagined, judged, reacted about towards ‘others’ is in fact defining myself and only myself as aspects or parts of myself that I have to work on, but that we as human beings conveniently usually deflect to ‘others’ in an attempt to dodge self-responsibility and self-reflection, which usually stems from wanting to see ourselves under a the light of ‘being a good person.’

Here then, I have pondered many times throughout the years about a potential situation in this world where we could suddenly have all the ‘veils of the mind’ lifted from ourselves in one go and all the chaos that would possibly ensue if we were to suddenly see every single detail of anything that every person we know – or don’t even know – but get to know of have had such imaginations, fantasies, judgments, opinions about ourselves, and how that could ensue like a real ‘world war’ if we don’t get to settle ourselves to understand how everything that we ‘think’ – imagine, perceive, judge, fantasize, react to – about another is in fact our own expression, judgments, ideas, perceptions and that in no way does it really define ‘another’ but ourselves.

That realization is usually an ‘ouch’ experience to most where we’d like to think that we ‘have a right’ to think of another in our heads ‘whatever we want’ with some sort of power to judge, criticize, fantasize about in whichever way – this is certainly a timely situation to consider that we don’t, and that no matter what we do, we’ll face each and every single person in our lives that we have ever had those thoughts about and walk every one of those relationships – no matter how menial – into a point of correction. That’s what our Life Reviews will be about.

So, I’ll share here how through walking this process from consciousness to self-awareness, I have already had my own taste of shame, regret, embarrassment and a personal experience of wanting to ‘dig a hole’ for my own head upon reviewing some of the most shameful things I’ve done, thought or fantasized about in my  mind about others. I am sure I haven’t walked through them all, but it is so that in those moments I have also projected possible scenarios where if I would face those people again, I would ask forgiveness and explain ‘where I was’ at the time of my life where I was creating those ideas, reactions, perceptions ‘about them’ – and in several occasions how I acted the way I did toward them, how my decisions were influenced by all of this mental chatter – and how I eventually found out all of it was in fact about myself only; I would share how I have learned to assist myself to correct these judgments, ideas, thoughts or participations so that we can stop recreating this ‘invisible world’ of lies and deception that we allow to exist in our minds towards another, but we don’t dare to actually confront and lay out before another to be honest about one’s own experience and walk a process of self-honesty to realize oneself as the origin and creator of those reactions that we are simply projecting or imposing upon others as ‘who we believe they are’ – when they are then, in fact, not.

Would they decide to change the way they see me upon knowing all of this? Considering how most of us operate in our minds, I’m sure it would create a lot of rifts in a relationship, because we haven’t learned to not take things personally, but we always are quick to believe that ‘that which another said about me defines me’ and forget all about questioning the creator of such judgment in the first place. So it would be quite expected and normal to walk through a phase of having all of those people suddenly see me with ‘bad eyes’ and then it would be my responsibility to acknowledge where and how have I worked on taking responsibility for those things said or fantasized about another and accordingly go working on my own responsibility about them through self-forgiveness and so walking a process of self-correction.

Would I be able to face them without shame or guilt? As I explained above, most likely not, even if I am not ‘technically’ seeing the people I have been reviewing memories or situations of my past – including ‘recent present’ – in my mind in order to process it, take responsibility for it in my head, I have felt such shame, regret, embarrassment and guilt many times before. But at the same time, I’ve learned how it can only be a temporary experience really, and it’s up to me to make of this shame more of a transitory learning experience rather than a self-bashing and self-judgment process that then becomes another layer of judgment for me to process. I’ve created a reminder to myself to not fall prey of ‘double-judgment’ where one judges oneself for the judgments, beliefs, perceptions one has created about another… it’s definitely easier to acknowledge the point, and yes it sometimes it may be impossible to not go through shame, guilt, regret, but here I can stand as my own surety so that it doesn’t become a form of emotional manipulation for me to not continue seeing my responsibility in it all, but step out of that belief that I become ‘less’ in acknowledging my faults, my own judgments – and so see how it is actually only a point of self-respect and integrity that I decide to build and create as myself when deciding to acknowledge my own creation of those parts of myself that I have the power – as in being capable and able – to change them for and by myself.

A very important reminder that has assisted me quite a bit lately is the realization that what defines a person is not ‘all that they have been’ in their past, but more like how we decide to stand up from ‘the past’ that we’ve been and become. It’s only us that hold ourselves/each other as prisoners of our own past perceptions, judgments and beliefs, leading us nowhere really other than recreating the same illusions of separation that are able to be self-forgiven, taken responsibility with the purpose to change the way that we stand in our minds, the way that we ‘use’ our minds and so in turn, changing how we interact towards others.

A practical reminder for me is precisely to consider how every single thought, word and deed Is part of who I am, my creation, therefore I have to be accountable for it all, because how I face and confront those challenges – such as suddenly people finding out all about how I ‘thought’ of them – is what defines me, and so I have to remind myself that no matter how ‘awful’ some of these points might be, what defines me is who I decide to be from now on that I acknowledge that aspect/part of myself that requires a direction, that requires my responsibility to change because of seeing, real time, that it is not at all supportive to remain in my own denial of these parts of myself if I am a person that is craving or even demanding transparency in this world.

If I am ‘demanding’ transparency and integrity, the ‘truth’ out there, we have to start by creating these words, living these words within ourselves. I bet that none of us that have desired this to exist in our ‘world systems’ have considered to what extent the solution resides in the very secret corridors of our minds and all those accumulated experiences toward people around us, people that we see on our ‘screens’, people that we interact with on a regular basis either in a very personal or impersonal manner… I personally would like to see the day where we could eventually see everything of each other, because then it would be so in our face to recognize that no one can claim innocence in not having ever gossiped, fantasized or judged another; we all have done it in various degrees and the way to start getting a taste of what it would mean to live in a transparent world with integrity is by reviewing all of those judgments that we have created or fantasized about in relation to others, take responsibility for it in recognizing it as or own creation, as our own acceptance and allowance that doesn’t define ‘that other person’ or situation, but ourselves entirely.

And so the only ‘salvation’ that exists here is truly self-forgiveness, no doubt about it. How else could we give ourselves a second chance to face these very grim, dark or despicable aspects of ourselves if we didn’t give ourselves the ability to stand up from it, learn from our mistakes and ensure that we stand ‘hands clean’ from now on in order to not recreate/repeat those same patterns toward other people, but instead develop the practice of ‘placing a guard in front of our mouths and minds’ as in being more aware of what we think, say, do, fantasize or react towards another about, and make sure that we know we are defined by what we believe is ‘defining another’ that we are projecting these thoughts upon.

It is all about self-reflection and in that, we will then be able to not only actively change the way that we interact, live and create our societies, but also at the same time stop the ‘sins of the fathers’ in relation to this deception, hypocrisy, judgments, fears in relation to others, so that we can start becoming self-accountable beings that don’t require a ‘thought police’ to be punished for some ‘bad thoughts’ about others that we turn into heinous acts or crimes – we can then know exactly what we nurture or feed within ourselves, we can exactly decide who we are in every moment in relation to another and ensure that we can stand ‘at the end of time’ clear and self-corrected in relation  to those thoughts, those judgments or experiences towards ‘others’ that, ultimately, are in fact also ourselves anyways – equal and one.

This is actually a very cool subject to bring to our awareness because it is through ‘dropping the veil’ of seeing another as a ‘separate me’ that we can start realizing how much of what we believe is ‘done onto another’ is always done to oneself – abuse, is always Self-abuse. Therefore, doing this exercise, practically, can assist us in becoming more comfortable and closer to the actual truth of ourselves, which is by default not something nice, pretty and pure – we all have our aspects and parts of ourselves to change and correct. Here then, we must not see guilt, same, regret or embarrassment as the solution, nor as a ‘way out’ of actually sorting out these points in us – these reactions are but distractors if they remain a bit too long as our experience – we have to walk through our creation and take responsibility, it’s the least we can do after we’ve ‘fired those bullets’ existing as harmful thoughts and experiences ‘shot’ at others.

Once the trigger is pulled, there’s no going back. But fortunately, with what goes on in our minds, we can at least correct it, ensure we don’t act upon it or recreate it any longer and more so, ensure we don’t take such thoughts or experiences about another into an actual bullet that maims another’s life. We can remind ourselves of this every time that we believe it’s ‘easy’ to imagine stuff, to think stuff and believe it all goes ‘away with the wind’ because ‘it’s only thoughts’ but nope, it’s all here, recorded in the very physical day to day life that we walk through in this world.

So, let’s define ourselves by having the guts to acknowledge and recognize our creation, by deciding to walk through all of these judgments towards ‘others’ and claim them back as our own creation that ‘defines us’ until we decide to also change those reactions about ourselves into something that is genuinely supportive for our lives, that can stand as a building block of the self that we are willing to stand by and with for the rest of our existence.

If we want a world that is no longer ‘full of lies,’ we have to stop lying and deceiving ourselves with an image or belief of ‘being a good person’ – none of us have really been so if we have ever allowed but one single thought about another in a compromising or harmful situation. Food for self-reflection, because it’s more honorable to take a step forward and say ‘I’ve done that, that’s me’ than giving a step back and running away with an idea of ‘I’d never dare to do something like that!’ – that’s a choice right there into self-honesty or self-dishonesty, all up to us – but let’s be aware that each decision we make defines our present, who we are and by all means defines the nature of the future that we are co-creating for ourselves and generations to come.

I’d say, it’s time to stand up with courage and claim ownership of our own lies, so that we can then take responsibility and gift those parts back to ourselves as words that we want to live within and toward others in our lives.

Thanks for reading

 

Suggested interview:

If you tolerate this then your children will be next

 

Walk with us in our path to create a transparent world:

 


465. Let’s Learn from the Russian Way

Or how to stop desires for revenge and retaliation and instead focus on one’s self-responsibility.

 

There is definitely a lot that we can learn from this year’s world events but one definitely closed the year with a zing from my perspective. That is Vladimir Putin’s decision to not do an expected ‘tit for tat’ based on having Russian diplomats expelled from the US, using the unfounded excuse of ‘Russian hacking’ that so-called ‘disrupted’ the US (S)Elections, or so says the mainstream plot.

Here upon seeing Obama’s reactions to seeing the great job that Russian and Turkish leaders have accomplished to ceasefire in Syria – which means the game is over for the US’ plan to continue arming so called ‘rebels’ and keep those ‘Syria peace talks’ going on forever, without any actual resolution= keeping a never ending war there – Obama’s administration or US government or however you want to call it,  mustered their big guns to ‘rain on Russia’s parade’ so to speak.

So, my take is that the moment that the Obama administration saw this swift move by Russians to promote actual ceasefire and so peace in Syria, Obama’s administration – or himself, not really relevant here lol – decided to push through this whole Russian hacking story on mainstream media and create a plot to expel Russian diplomats living in the US and all of their family, having to empty the places they had lived for in just 72 hours.

What does this move sound to you? Yep, retaliation, vengeance, a desire to ‘get back at’ someone that one perceives has suddenly undone one’s entire plan or plot for our one’s own self-interest and benefit at the expense and in consequence of others’ lives. It’s the kind of attitudes that are usually fueled with an emotional experience that seeks out any reasons, justifications and digs out certain facts to weave a whole story that will serve as the ‘justified’ backing for a particular decision.

So here I am merely looking at Obama or Obama’s administration as a reflection of our most ‘cultivated’ human nature when it comes to opting for stepping into full-blown vengeance, after allowing and following backchats like ‘He/She/They are going to pay for this’ or ‘You’ll see now what my gift to you is’ or ‘You don’t ever dare to step over my feet again!’ or whatever other nonsense we can pull out in moments of ‘rage’ that we usually exert out on others, but never investigate within ourselves our deeds and do some self-reflection on whether they were standing in the context of what’s best for all or not.

That’s what happened on the US side, but what do you get from the Russian side? An explicit declaration of how there will be no retaliation as in also demanding the expelling of US diplomats in Russian soil. Au contraire, all the kids that are the children of all of those diplomats were invited to spend the New Year’s in some Kremlin celebration to enjoy the holidays ‘New York’ style.

Well, upon listening to that, it made it clear that we can all learn a lot from Putin’s reactions to this ‘last cry’ and tantrum-move by the Obama administration, and that is something I can definitely see that we can learn from and apply in our day to day reality because it’s great to see these examples out there in politics, which means we can take the ‘honorable path’ and do this same approach in our personal every day relationships.

One thing that makes this whole world-war go around is a desire for revenge, vengeance, and ‘letting them know how much we got hurt by this/that’ – come on, this is if anything one of the core elements in human nature that has gotten us to where we are now, because somehow it makes us feel powerful to be able to ‘get back at’ someone else and ‘show them’ what they are missing, or what they have underestimated, or what they have ‘messed with’ – lol – really, there is no worst attitude in our human nature than allowing oneself to fall prey to such victimhood and actual experience of inferiority that creates the need to ‘get back at’ others for it – which means one in fact Blames others for ‘what they’ve done onto us’ and so waging wars as the seemingly ‘easy way out.’ This exact mechanism applies in our personal relationships and world wide scale relationships as ‘politics’ for example.

So, if anything we can place ourselves in the shoes of say the US side and as Joe Kou shared on a Facebook post, all that they have left is truly to admit others are doing a better job – or simply doing the job for real – at something they had pretended to be aiding or caring about, without any real intent to sort out the problem, to realize the consequences of such egotistical stance and apply self-forgiveness because there is certainly no other way for the US to keep ‘puffing themselves up’ in a global stage where it is more than clear to enough people – at least to those of us that are actually aware of how things really work and not get our ‘feed’ from mainstream media – that this US Empire has to collapse, for the better.

And how does that translate to one’s personal life when existing in a similar experience or desire for revenge as Obama or the US government? Same as above. It is where one has to invariably realize that we only attempt to do harm onto others, to deliberately ‘maim’ them within an expectation that it will hurt/harm others badly, and when this doesn’t happen because the other one has realized themselves and will no longer ‘respond back’ to the game = the game is over.

How does one then stand up from this consequential outflow of realizing ‘the game is over’? My suggestion is to stop all futile attempts to keep ‘getting back at’ and instead directly focus on creating some self-resolve to stand back up with integrity which means yes, admitting failure, admitting mistakes, admitting where one’s self-interest and ego was invested on and be willing to self-forgive and let it go.

In order to gain some self-respect, Self Forgiveness is the solution. To be able to humble down and realize how far these egotistical war-like games one has played toward another in an attempt to make oneself ‘feel better’ or seem stronger or superior…. When the reality is that all of these energy games have to come to an end within oneself if we are to in fact create some basic self-respect as individuals and to for once and for all mature from our current adolescent state we’ve been stuck in for ages as human beings. This means we have to self-forgive all of that tantrum-like roll of events that one has pushed, planned, plotted, secretly desired and imagined as all the plethora of ways that we want to ‘take revenge’ at another, without ever realizing or maybe even considering that “all of this that I am plotting is in fact what exists in me, it defines me, it is what I am focusing my attention on, my time, my breath of life on and it doesn’t actually get to ‘harm’ the other side, it only continually harms and diminishes myself.”

That’s one ‘hard truth’ to realize there, because no matter how much we want to blame and complain and ‘prove others wrong’, all of that only defines ourselves really, holding our constant ‘fight mode’ against everyone that isn’t standing on our personal-self-interest side, no matter how ‘good’ we’d like to paint it and present it as a justification; deep inside ourselves we are the only ones that know to what extent we are in fact desiring to damage, discredit, defame, harm, abuse others in the name of some egotistical pride.  And this is then the same we’re seeing in the world stage today.

So here, I’d like to suggest: let’s learn from the Russian way, the way of forgiveness, the way of stopping ‘getting back at’ and ‘retaliating’ at others, stopping the usual war-tactic of ‘tit for tat’ and for once and for all get rid of ‘keeping the score’ at others. Let’s STOP playing blame-lame games of vengeance and getting back at, let’s truly make that a thing of the past, please! This is a great opportunity for us to see what happens when the ball of lies with an attempt to ‘wage war back’ is halted with a gesture of kindness and no hurt feelings. That’s what’s honorable, that’s the kind of leaders that I’d like to see everywhere in the world and nope, no, I’m not talking about ‘presidents’ only here, but ALL of us, it’s up to us to create that human kindness we’ve all been desiring for, we gotta be it, work for it!

Let’s make the world great again!

🙂 Happy New Year

 

Another podcast I made on similar topic:

·                  23. Nice Guys Finish First

 

Check out Cerise and Joe’s vlogs in all sorts of topics that candidly assist us to reflect on all things human nature and how to change it:

·     Get Real with Cerise & Joe

 

Putin Russia tit-for-tat

As a clarification, this is not meant to be a ‘political’ blog but simply a reflection on the events that have transpired in the past couple of days that led to this self-reflection, I support and stand with anyone from any side or party or group that has humanity’s best interest at heart.

Recommended article if you are interested in the political point:

 

If you’d like some support in preventing and being 1+ person that stands up for life in a practical day to day living manner, check out:


414. Solution to Ferguson: Learn Self-Forgiveness

 

clip_image001

A fascinating point opened up as I was watching CNN. Yes I tend to criticize CNN quite a bit for the false information and scare they provoke, but as I was cooking last night and turned it on to see what kind of ‘disinfo’ they were sharing, a female TV show host was being interviewed about Ferguson and the words ‘Forgiveness in Ferguson’ were on the headlines of the news section and as I seek for such info on the net, I found yet another reverend that talks about Forgiveness required to get to a solution. What’s interesting about the woman speaking about Forgiveness is that beyond the usual ‘being able to forgive another,’ she explained there is forgiveness to apply to ourselves, which is another way of saying: we require to apply Self-Forgiveness for what we have accepted and allowed – almost her words there.

 

clip_image002

 

What do we have to Self-Forgive here? Upon witnessing the current ‘rioting’ and looting and anger that people in Ferguson experience, what we have to do as humanity is realize that this violence, this sense of ‘being violated’ will get us nowhere, because what we are witnessing is only the outflow of our entire history of abuse, disregard, violence and harm we have imposed toward each other, our environment, we have essentially violated our right to life by complying to, accepting and allowing ‘the way the world works’ as this current dog-eat-dog functioning of the system in a blind manner. This world-system – our laws, our institutions, our governments, our fears, our paranoia, our media, our scares, our injustice – is our collective creation, this is what we have to begin to self-forgive here first because as long as we continue to see ‘perpetrators’ and ‘culprits’ outside of ourselves, the fight, the reclaiming of ‘justice’ will continue without any sense of self-responsibility, which is the rather uncomfortable truth: any act of abuse is not done by ‘others’ but it’s always what we have collectively co-created by having abdicated our participation and decision making processes to decide what is best for all.

The fact that the word ‘Forgiveness’ is pointed out in our MSM (Mainstream-media) as something that is required to solve the problem, should not be taken for granted: it is one step further to understand that we have to step down from our righteousness, our ‘victimized self’ that we climb upon as our mind-horse where we take ‘the abused’ position to ‘ask for justice’ without first focusing on seeing and coming to realize how it is that all the problems we are facing is our collective consequence of having Never actually having cared to review the laws, the agreements, the money systems, the general structures by which we organize and live as a society, which would then of course lead us to see why do we have to create all of these laws and live in constant fear of one another, protecting our ‘right to defend ourselves’ from other potential ‘wrong doers’ or criminals, instead of creating a world system that can benefit everyone and so naturally create peace by doing so?

What we have missed is that the real problem exists within our own minds, within our desire to blame something or someone for any form of abuse, instead of seeing how no justice, no equality, no support or real care has ever existed toward one another as living beings because: We Haven’t Created it, We Haven’t Lived such words ourselves in the first place! All that has ever existed is the war mentality, the selfish nature of only caring for our own wellbeing and not even giving a thought about others’ lives.

How can we ‘demand’ something like Respect when we haven’t ever really lived SELF-Respect such as ensuring that one is not accepting and allowing any form of abuse, harm, diminishment or counterproductive actions that prevent us from living to our fullest potential, individually – so, how can we as individuals feel ‘violated by others’ when we have never cultivated this basic point of self-support as self-respect?

 

clip_image003

 

How can we ask for ‘Justice’ toward some authorities and institutions that we created based on our inherent belief of being unable to direct ourselves and take responsibility for ourselves within the consideration of what is best for all, to create and structure our entire economic, political and social system within such principled living considerations: considering everyone’s wellbeing, supporting everyone to live in dignity, to create a sense of community and solidarity that leads to a well-functioning society… none of these aspects have been our starting point as human beings to coexist in. Even if these ‘rights’ are written in constitutions, on paper they look really nice, but when it comes to living such words and agreements: we have all considerably failed to do so because we have ultimately abdicated our responsibility to live such principles ourselves, individually, which leads to outcomes such as wars and any other form of brutality imposed by our designated ‘authorities’ to create a sense of ‘order and control,’ organisms and institutions that exist as an outflow of us believing that it is more important to impose punishment and be constantly spied on for a sense of security rather than focusing on providing everyone a general good living standard so that the ‘anomalies’ of the system are reduced to genuine mental problems – not ‘criminality’ as theft due to the necessity to get money to live in basic dignity. This is what we have co-created as our social injustice.

This is why, the more we face consequences that shook the foundation of our so-called ‘stability’ or disrupt our belief that ‘everything is generally fine,’ the more we have to start considering that the solution resides within each one of us. It is awaiting to be ‘awakened’ as a sense of self-responsibility to first Live in each one of us such as Self-Respect, to Take Self Responsibility for what we have co-created as our world and so be Willing to Work Together for solutions, to no longer depend on institutions/authorities that are there to ‘calm the waters’ based on imposition of force or further punishment toward those that have resorted to violence or crime because that’s all we have ever learned as human beings to do in moments of distress, fear and desperation to ‘get an answer’ – once again, just because we haven’t learned how to become and implement solutions that benefit everyone, which is absolutely possible for us to do.

 

Free Yourself - Copy

 

The solution begins within self: not giving into fear, helplessness, hopelessness, rioting, protesting or ‘demanding’ answers from those ‘authorities’ we have placed in such positions because we have rendered ourselves as useless or incapable of solving our own problems – it’s about time we begin to Self-Forgive our perceived victimization on these events, to self-forgive the accepted and allowed abuse we have co-created as our ‘world system’ and how we treat each other as criminals, as potential enemies, as a ‘problem’ instead of facing our own problem inside ourselves: to face and self-forgive our paranoia toward each other, to face and self-forgive our fears, to face and self-forgive our belief of being incapable of changing things – we have to self-forgive all of the ideas, beliefs and perceptions we have about the problems that are going on in this world, to not call out on the perceived ‘culprits’ but to stand up in the realization that: we did this to ourselves, this is our creation and only through allowing us to self-forgive this massive abdication of self-responsibility will we ever come to a general agreement that the solution resides within each one of us: to learn how to Live Self-Respect, to Live Solidarity and learning how to Live by Principles which will prevent us from having to ‘punish’ others as a way to solve problems that are fully preventable if we so agree and decide to create a world system that can benefit everyone’s lives, because that is what we all want for ourselves anyways, isn’t it?

 

The solution is not further police intervention, no further ‘presidential intervention’ or curfews…

 

Time to focus on the solutions, on Self-Forgiveness as a first way to recognize our complicity and Self-Responsibility in all problems in the world right now and so creating a culture of becoming and providing Solutions instead of continuing existing in indignation, victimization and the perception of being powerless to change things.

The time is now, we have only one life to do this – so let’s stand up as examples of what we can be and become when we integrate self-responsibility in our lives and expanding this sense of awareness toward others in our everyday living.

 

Listen to this Podcast on Mixlr:

 

What’s MISSED ABOUT FERGUSON AND ALL ‘BAD NEWS’ IN THE WORLD

 

 leavenoonebehind

Investigate the Living Income Guaranteed Proposal

 

Learn how to become the solution in this world:

 


372. Desteni Insider: Mind Control and Brainwashing

“The world is in reverse” is the premise to consider whenever the Desteni Material is approached and that is because you are going to face your own brainwashing to the utmost degree, up to the point wherein the ‘you’ that has been occupying the body that you are living in will be stripped down to the core to see what is of real substance and what has been only the byproduct of the endless indoctrination and conditioning within a world-system wherein fear conducts the way toward happiness, light, love, success and an elusive freedom. Reading the first words again “The world is in reverse” means that we haven’t even yet pondered why we seek all these ‘great and good things’ without realizing that such desired experiences indicate that we are by default existing in the exact opposite: sadness/depression, dullness, hate, failure and enslavement. The Orwellian state of the world is the premise one could use from popular culture to understand that such perversion of words is not limited to governments or any other corporate institution that seeks to make the most profit by selling the abuse of life with smiles and frequent client rewards, it has become the foundation of our very own vocabulary as the words that we claim we “live” without genuinely understanding what such verb in fact implies within a reality that is intricately designed to abuse and harm all life in order to continue supporting the schizophrenic concept of ‘living’ that we are enduring at the moment. Yes, it’s being endured without pondering why is life such a struggle, why do we have to strive to make a living, and the point that I will focus on within this blog is the righteous act of wanting to revolt and blame the system for how things have come to be due to our so-called education process where we learn the best ways to dissociate ourselves from the realization of who we are as part of a collective organism that will create reality according to the nature of the thoughts we have in mind. It’s clear that such separation has turned to be the mirror reality we try to avoid and recognize as our own reflection.

 

Continuing from:

What you are in your mind won't pravail - wake up

What you are in your mind won’t prevail, wake up! (2009)

 

It is interesting that the Desteni Material and all of us involved in applying the principles at Desteni have been called out for being a ‘thought reform group’ or ‘mind control cult’ and any other form of slander which, according to the necessary premise on how ‘the world is in reverse,’ it is actually a good thing since that means that we are genuinely breaking the status quo of what has been accepted as ‘healthy thinking and behavior’ because we certainly such thinking processes have led us ( k )nowhere but evolving the ways with which to abuse life and each other in the name of greed. What I have done throughout my participation within the Desteni group is to learn how to investigate all things and keep what’s best, which is placing everything we’ve ever known under the magnifying glass to see whether the education at home, in schools, in society, in our relationships, in the words that we speak genuinely stand as the tools words are to create a world that is best for all.

We shouldn’t even require to confirm that none of the ways in which we have ever lived have been supportive for all of us as human beings, otherwise the world would have already been a place that is genuinely best for all and our reality as our creation is an irrevocable proof of that. Some of the misinformation propagated by the Desteni antagonists claim that we ‘segregate’ ourselves from humanity, from our families and friends, from our reality by being submerged in an individual process where we forgive ourselves for accepting all the lies and deception that we were taught as ‘how things are’ and the relationships based on self interest that lead us to become the predictable patterns that keep the world as is– what a disgraceful behavior, isn’t it? To self forgive every single aspect of our separation from our living realization of how everything we have ever been has been a lie since it has never given birth to life.

 

 

If anything it should already be a matter of concern that we all know that the education system is not working, that parents don’t even know how to educate their children, that our authorities stand as examples of how to get to be the most ‘powerful and successful’ individuals by being the most corrupted version of ourselves as personality profiles that are accepted, allowed and endorsed in a world-system that is founded upon abuse – yet! If one begins to understand principles that consider Life in Equality, genuine Self-Respect, Honor, Integrity and the consideration of Life as the one and only real value that exists, one is called out for being ‘brainwashed’ or ‘mind controlled’ or attempting to introduce ‘communism’ which is just another word like the bell to Pavlov’s dogs to ‘instantly’ react to it and expecting security and a sense of comfort as the reward by defending the right to be ‘free to be a capitalist,’  without even understanding what the words they are reacting to in fact mean.

 

The main problem we have realized is to what extent words as equality, collectivism, dignity, respect, integrity and so on are as vacuous as can be, simply because there have been no living examples in humanity that stand as such  living words – Jesus was one of the few and then was turned into a religious effigy to obfuscate the genuine fact that he was a man that lived the physical common sense meaning of such words. As humanity we have become the example of what it is to intellectualize and even deify living examples of what it is to live in self-respect, to live self-forgiveness and the willingness to be in the service of life itself which doesn’t only entail human to human interaction, but toward every single particle of what is here as part of ourselves, as the life we have hijacked in the name of power and control and within doing so, mining our own home that we’ve been trashing for far too long now.

 

(2011)

 

When facing one’s own brainwashing one can distinctly realize that every single word we’ve been taught and consequently “lived” has been part of the necessary deceptive mechanisms to keep this flawed, corrupted and vile condition on Earth, a collective acceptance and allowance of distrust, lies, abuse and adopting any form of contract to settle ownerships upon reality for the sake of buying and selling, no matter how much harm such processes inflict upon life as long as one’s own survival is secured.

 

Brainwashing and Mind Control are terminals of the same function within which we have all accepted and allowed ourselves to live in this world basing ‘who we are’ on ideas, beliefs, perceptions, feelings, emotions, imaginations, future projections and an innumerable amount of memories that we go collecting and layering as ‘who we are’ throughout our lives with which we form our identity, the ‘self’ that we Think ourselves to be – is it, really?

 

This is the main point one face within and throughout the Desteni I Process, which is the necessary process to walk through when one realizes that all of this understanding needs to be applied at an individual level to see where we stand within it and how to practically lay out the solutions that we ourselves can write and cross reference with other people that are doing this same process with themselves, so that the development of Common Sense as the living application of acting, thinking and doing what is best for all is established as the foundation of the living self that we commit ourselves to be and become once that we realize that yes, we cannot trust the foundation of who we are as the ego that was bred to re-enact the same patterns of self-abuse, we must change it and this won’t come with a simple realization or a few positive thinking statements – not at all, because everything that we have become is in essence the accumulated history of humanity turned into the most convoluted forms to ensure survivalism, self interest and enhancing individual traits that have created the current alarming state of the world as is right now which is on the verge of self-destruction by our own thoughts and hands.

There is nothing more beneficial that can exist nowadays but to walk this process that consists of a fundamental self-investigation on and about everything that exists within and as all levels of our mind and reality to see who we really are within it all and how we can instead direct ourselves to integrate living patterns and habits that can be beneficial for ourselves and everyone equally; this is what I have realized is the only way to generate a living society in conjunction with the understanding and integration of the physical laws into the new equation necessary in this reality to  actually create a world that is best for all. Where is the point of abuse or ‘brainwashing’/ ‘mind control’ within this all? I would like to ask someone to explain to me because I see nothing else but the common sensical and honorable directions that if embraced by each individual on this world, we would have a New Earth without a problem – and this is where Self Responsibility comes in.

 DSC00343

(2003)

Throughout these 5 years walking with the Desteni group and practically applying/living the living principles promoted such as Self Honesty, Self Forgiveness and the consideration at all times of that which is Best for All to implement within and without of myself, I have been able to break-through the main patterns in which I had kept myself complacent to the system, including the personality-traits in relation to ‘wanting to change the world’ without first understanding that such change must be first self-directed at an individual level. To me it was common to spot the ‘flaws’ within the world system or people’s behavior, but I always used to take the righteous stand of ‘I am right and you are all dead wrong’ – I had to go through a personal scrutiny to realize that I also had been brainwashed and had accepted such brainwashed stance as my own mind control of ‘who I am’ and ‘what I must be.’ Only throughout time I have been able to look back and see how within the particular path I had chosen in terms of my career on visual arts, my particular behavior and stance toward humanity – which was mostly that of superiority toward the ‘brainwashed’ and ‘sheeple’ in humanity – I was on my way to become the usual dissident within the world system, the kind of person that would be protesting on and on about how wrong things are while diving myself into the usual suffering-despair of how ‘No one is going to change, so let’s just live our lives the way that we want to, because we can’t change anything anyways’ and ultimately losing any ability to discern the potential of the capabilities I had but begun tampering with dreams of escapism, evasion of reality and enhancement of personality traits veering toward more ‘spiritual solutions’ rather than considering the physicality of the problem I was witnessing in this world, my world.

 

This particular personal stance of opposition, dissidence and antagonism went on to extremes wherein I was aiming at having nothing to do with the system, only focusing on pursuing my personal interests and becoming an individual that is well known for producing ‘nice pictures’ and get great money out of that – that’s all that I had reduced myself to in my belief that ‘we are doomed, there’s no way out of this system’ and within that using my own self-talk to justify such stance and position –hence the main topic of my art being mostly that of self destruction and emotional states that I thought were ‘the real me’ and it was, until I literally took off the blindfold when I got to Desteni.

 

DSC01838

(2007)

 

Amidst a general sense of despair, hopelessness and apathy toward politics or anything having to do with the structure of the system, I moved myself out of any attempt to ‘make it’ in the system within the false belief that I was going to be able to do things ‘my way’ and never again have anything to do with that which I came to despise: the world system, humanity, money, politics and social sciences, economics… It was truly a tantrum the one I was living in right before getting to Desteni, yet it seemed very normal to others in my reality within the acceptance and allowance of my self-proclaimed belief that I was ‘beyond’ that, and that my inner-truth was to express through something more ‘meaningful’ like art where I could be ‘in touch with my emotions.’ Yes, believe it or not, that was me and it can be read in a very palpable way in the very first years of my process wherein a single moment with myself alone still felt filled with  a mixture of anxiety, depression, sadness, despair, helplessness and hopelessness turned into a victimized state of how ‘the world is a shitty place and there’s nothing I can do about it.’

 

It has only been in the past 3 years that everything started becoming more clear in relation to how our particular personalities are the perfect locks wherein we get so entrenched in our beliefs and ideals that we neglect almost everything that does not ‘fit’ with our self-religion, where we can guarantee the maximum ability to ‘enjoy life’ and keep augmenting our egos to ensure a safe spot in the concrete jungle where survival of the fittest means having a successful living – well, in my case it meant: do whatever you can to not be in the system, forget about everything that is evil in the world and rather promote a form of benevolence that can make people feel better, at least for a moment. This also implies doing things that according to my point of view then meant ‘challenging the system’ like smoking weed and making statements wherein I considered that I was ‘challenging the powers/the system’ and inciting people to ‘explore the spiritual realm’ in a desperate move to simply ignore reality and seek for some ‘greater meaning out there.’ Little did I realize then that what I was in fact doing was giving up on myself, seeking for something ‘greater’ to just do the work for us and not have to take responsibility for the hideous reality that I could ‘not bear to live in any longer,’ without even knowing what the meaning of ‘living’ in fact is.

DSC01604

(2007)

The easiest way to brainwash people in a similar personality design to mine is to let them believe that they are in fact ‘doing something’ by ranting and raving about ‘the system,’ by calling out the thieves, by protesting, by yelling, screaming and pouting in front of banks/corporations and governmental offices, by creating riots that could ‘disturb’ any form of control that only evolves and escalates due to the ability of the human being to be led by emotional states that are becoming more and more unpredictable, of course leading to more destruction than any form of practical solution. We can see on our daily news how unreliable and unstable the human mind is no matter what position/character in society one plays in – you can be a priest, a world leader, a loving mother or a proficient athlete and kill their partner, children or commit any other form of atrocity when being taken over by their emotions and feelings – all  kinds of atrocities are justified by each one’s acceptances and allowances at a mind level, the mind that we have taken as the immovable premise of ‘our nature’ throughout human history. It is only now that I am able to realize to what extent the profiles of a dissident, a ‘free thinker’ and a ‘willful ignorant’ are just same brainwashed characters in which people are kept well-controlled by the power of their own rage against the machine, holding a similar faith to the most assiduous religious person that somehow we will ‘overcome the evil in this world,’  holding on to the hope that shouting and pouting will ‘bring the powers down’ and create some form of solution – even the so-called ‘alternative media’ are only new mechanisms that aid this control through utilizing ‘new’ ways to approach young people, calling out to revolt, to be angry, to go out to the streets, to ‘challenge the system’ by promoting the legalization of drugs and internet privacy within the belief that such propositions are the only bastions left to ‘regain the power’ and that’s precisely the problem that has happened throughout time: revolutions were never meant to establish living principles in this world, but only a call out to take over the power and turn the tables, keeping the world in exactly the same place – same inequality with new righteous hands in office. The age old saying of divide and conquer has not been fully realized, yet.

 

I have realized time and time again that there is nothing more important right now as an individual in this world other than focusing on actually taking responsibility for ourselves, however such words cause allergy to anyone that gets a kick out of ‘confronting’ the system in all of the ways explained throughout this blog. I can attest how it is only when realizing all my personality traits to evade reality and use this willful ignorance in an eloquent manner led me to mislead myself, my own choices in life, the people I had established relationships with and the evasion of reality that I defended and guarded as having a right to ‘do whatever I want in my life because I was hurting no one’ – this is the mind of the willful ignorant that is looking at the problems, that pretends to understand but when it comes to living a solution that can be of benefit to ourselves, to actually understand the responsibility we have in our hands to stand as an example of ‘the change we want to see in this world,’ all kinds of excuses and backdoors are open to just have a righteous statement to not change, to not challenge that which we have cultivated for so long which is our own ego, our own brainwashing and mind control. This is what I have come to irrevocably realize day by day whenever we approach solutions to the world system which we have through developing various means like the proposal of the Equal Money System which was an entire process that I will also walk and an essential aspect I decided to stand for and as by myself to precisely shed the anti-system skin I was busy turning into a hard veneer to justify my antagonism and antipathy toward ‘the system’ and humanity itself, which I later on understood was only a constant fight toward myself. This is one of the multiple realizations of the simple words you might hear many, many times throughout the Desteni Material: Oneness and Equality, where the Oneness points out the interdependence that we exist as toward each other as the coexistence in this same world and the Equality that is existent at the substance and physical level, yet perfectly concealed with all forms of separation that we have CULTivated in our minds in the form of egos, personalities, cultures, religions, political parties, the very words we use to justify any form of separation and abuse.

Sórdido

(2012)

 

One of the most prominent points I decided to take on within this process was to develop common sense to stand as a voice that proposes solutions, that investigates other solutions and point out why they are not genuine solutions within the ability to spot a point of deception that would in turn only re-create the same patterns of the past instead of genuinely creating a present with a solid realization of the solutions to implement in this world. So I’ve walked from the anti-system character to an individual that first walks this personal process of de-brainwashing through the dissident, the rebel, the antagonist to the system and instead walk a process of self responsibility to understand the problem, to see my direct participation within it and direct the problem toward directive solutions that we can all embody in the form of living principles. This is where I am now and it is certainly something never ever in my ‘wildest dreams’ did I envision myself doing, which is proposing solutions for this world system as it currently exists, placing political statements on a written and spoken manner suggesting ways to learn how to coexist as humanity since I had already agreed to ‘give up on humanity,’ which was really only ‘giving up on myself.’

This process is not yet done, every day, every minutest form of resistance, any movement toward the old patterns of sadness, despair and a giving up can emerge and that is where every moment I decide who and what I accept and allow myself to be. From this perspective the platform that we are developing as a group as Desteni is actually the perfect foundation to establish a solution at a global scale wherein the brainwashing, the problems in this world are understood and directed from within to establish clear directives without, as we learn how to understand the cause of the problem – ourselves, our own mind – and as such learn how to stand one and equal as the system to establish clear solutions without as the world system. This is the one process, the one ‘thing’ I have been the most consistent of within my life that was meant to veer from fad to fad seeking for more elaborate ways to justify my personal inaction to establish solutions – this time I have developed sufficient self-trust to place myself in a position where I can support myself and others to realize the points I’ve explained throughout this Witness blog as I can stand by the words explained here, having stopped participation in primary forms of personal reality evasions like alcohol or any form of drugs to stand sound and clear on a daily basis witnessing myself and this reality as one massive creation to turn into a genuine work of art, and that begins within myself, ourselves.

 

More to come…

 

Thanks for reading and walking with.

 

CaminandoelTripleProceso

Walking the Triple Process (2010)

 
The Revolutionary Character: From Activist, Anti-Politics and Anti System to Self Responsibility
The Elitist Character – Seeking Success and then Antagonizing the System

 

 DSC03310

Blogs and Vlogs on Brainwashing and Mind Control:

355. Activism and Mind Control |
2011 Activism Is Futile
2011 The Zeitgeist Movement: Resistance is Futile
98. Words as Mind Control |
183. Like and Dislike = Mind Control
2008- 21 days of no weed!
Communism stigmatized Equality
217. You Fear Communism? Why would That Be? |
Mind Control VictimsRead all about it! |
Occupy LOVE: New Activist Brainwashing
Occupy Wall Street’s Solution: Equal Money for ALL –
2011 Capitalism is Brainwash: Are YOU Brainwashed?
Earth Day? Please… Common Sense Required
You are what you Can Afford
2012 Money is MIND Control
2012 Gun Culture in America
2012 I Just Want to BE HAPPY – Equal Money? WHY Should I Care?
Sex, Drugs and…College? Hookup Culture
2010 I Use Alcohol on a Regular Basis

263. The Remedy to Stop Addictions

220. Drug Culture: Mad Society as a Lifestyle

How to Develop Common Sense? Desteni Process Support

 

 

And don’t forget to watch The Century of the Self 


140. Renewing Vows to Live

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see how I was shaping and molding myself to become a person that would use words, knowledge and information to regurgitate it and the be able to be glorified by it in my mind, seeing everything and all ‘above my shoulder’ wherein the very body that allowed me to carry myself as a fatuous person was in fact the very life that I abused while existing ‘on the road’ to be and become the personality that I thought would make me ‘successful’ in life, which was a rather conceited and self-centered person that would only ‘care’ about the world if such point was directly influencing ME only.

When and as I see myself looking only after satisfying me and only me at all times, I stop and I breathe – I realize that living in a world wherein individuality and the exacerbation of the ego as who we are, we have taken our body for granted and only focused on that which makes us ‘feel better/ good’ about ourselves without understanding What it is that we were in fact using/ abusing to  create this positive experience within us. Thus –

I commit myself to bring myself back here as breath in every moment that I see myself speaking or even wanting to speak something that will only add the ingredient of self-importance to what I have to say. I vow myself to ground myself here as life as what’s best for all in common sense, as there can be no need to make oneself ‘more than’ when existing here as life, as breath in the consideration of all as who we are.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become an ‘empty headed’ person the moment that I would only care about ‘those that care about me,’ wherein all my familial, friendship and classmate relationships were always based on self interest, wherein the world could go ‘haywire’ but as long as I had ‘my world in place,’ I would not move a single finger to do something to support myself to become a better living being, simply because I wasn’t even existing as self-respect and self-consideration of the responsibility we hold toward all life here in our reality.

When and as I see myself ever going back to the point of only caring about ‘those in My world and My reality,’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that there is an entire world that is here as myself, that is certainly also awaiting for us to stand up as living beings that no longer hold a family, culture, religion, language or any other legal association as ‘special,’ as I see that we have created a world-system based on hierarchy and specialness that we have imprinted in everything and everyone around us, constantly living in separation from the very objects, air, sun, oxygen, flesh, bones, skin, eyes and mouth to not see and speak and live as the physical flesh, but instead, gave ourselves away to be an empty head that searches for the light, the love, the bliss, the moments of ‘happiness’ and ‘joy’ that I deliberately sought to cherish for my own personal archive of experiences, never even giving a damn about any other being that wasn’t in My Reality in such moments of ‘bliss.’

When and as I see myself only caring about those in My reality – I stop and I breathe – I realize that even those that are only in cyberspace, there is an entire world ready to stand up as life, and that any point of separation that I want to ‘hold on to’ as special in my world, is essentially saying not willing to “give up” a single energetic relationship thread created toward something or someone that in fact exists as a point of separation, instead of walking an actual integration of myself as one and equal as everything/ everyone –

I commit myself to ensure that I regard all living beings, all particles, all and everything that I can see and cannot see at the moment as equal and one parts/ components of the integral self that we are here to honor as Life, as who and what we really are for the first time in our existential lifetime.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not realize how I was on my way to become an intellectual piece of grey matter that would only care about self-importance and really discriminate everything and all that had to do with Life itself, as I wasn’t regarding my very own physical body as that which is real, that which is who and what I am wherein I instead would ‘give head to’ glorious knowledge and information that would give me a ‘kick’ to learn and regurgitate as part of the words used as weapons of choice to always end up having ‘the last laugh/ the last word’ in a self-righteous mode

When and as I see myself wanting to still re-enact the ‘me’ that is always having ‘the last say/ the last laugh,’ I stop and I breathe – I realize this is not me as breath expressing, but me as the past as the ego wanting to have a ‘sip’ of drunken self-righteous energetic kick out of ‘exposing my wits’ in order to satisfy and stimulate brains as knowledge and information instead of actually speaking/ communicating/ sharing words that bring ourselves back here to Life/ living as the realization that humbleness is the way to stop any fatuous self-indulgent mind-activity that in no way supports life in equality.  Therefore,

I commit myself to live the reality of me here as breathe wherein no thinking is required to exist as the physical body, within the realization that who I am as the configuration of the mind may come and go and that the reality that is me here as the physical, is what is real, is what remains and what will continue until its cycle end.

Thus, I realize that one more year in my life is for the first time an actual gratefulness for having the ability to LIVE and exist here, as I have committed myself to walk this process on Earth till is done – and here I renew my vows to life, to myself as life, and to all that is here that is ready to walk as life on Earth.

I commit myself to live the living-satisfaction way wherein I can only get to be satisfied about my actions, words and deeds as long as they all stand in absolute and unequivocal self-equality and oneness as I see and realize that it is through words that we learn to co-operate as the function that we decide to live in/as such words – thus it is through language that we continue educating ourselves, and through the physical actions the way that we ensure we become the examples that are here and will be here for everyone to finally wake up, open our eyes and realize that self-realization is always one single breath away.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not even notice the level of judgmental perspectives I would always be externalizing about the world, myself and everyone in it, wherein I never questioned if my words would have any effect on others/ the world and only seeing My Words as ‘My Right’ to speak, as if speaking in itself could do miracles, when it isn’t.

When and as I see myself stepping into the judgmental train of thought – I stop and I breathe. I realize that the world that we live in requires words that heal, words that support ourselves to realize the life that we are and carry around only as an ‘accessory’ for now – it is time to allow the physical to step to the front and utilize the mind to support the physical realization of who  we are as individuals seeking to satisfy themselves for a moment, to then be left with nothing else to ‘show off,’ – thus

I commit myself to expose and live the realization about thoughts, intellect, knowledge and information as a ‘self-righteous and ‘superiority’ complex wherein it is almost a certainty how all of us that were aiming at becoming ‘knowledgeable’ people were only accumulating knowledge and information as a weapon of choice to be ‘more rewarded’ in a system that we have All  accepted and allowed remunerates knowledge and information better than any other job including comments. Thus, I see and realize that to walk the most ingrained patterns within me,  I must walk my process in absolute clarity and specificity, as there are no mid ways to go through it, this time.

Join us at Desteni

Desteni

To Life in Equality – no more abuse, no more harm : I stop myself and learn how to Live the words I speak

 

 

Blogs:

Walk with us this Journey to Life

%d bloggers like this: