Tag Archives: self sacrifice

568. Sacrificial Sainthood

Or how the idea of ‘being an example to or others’  in my head became another personality to debunk

In my case and relationship to living purpose, I noticed that I had defined me doing this process of self change also to ‘be an example for others’ and in that, more veering towards the noble, pious and honorable idea of ‘being an example’ of what it means to live in certain principles in this life and ‘show that to others’.

 But! I realize how there was a weight placed on the ‘to others/for others’ rather than understanding the simplicity of what ‘being an example’ means, which in my current redefined relationship is not to see it as a standard of superiority, a ‘quality standard’ or being qualified with notions like being ‘more noble’ or ‘better’ or showing others ‘how it’s done’ from a superior starting point, but instead actually using ‘the matter’ that I am as a human with a physical body, a mind, a capacity to make decisions, create, grow, expand within challenging my own limitations, my own ideas and beliefs which include the whole point of ‘creating an impact ON OTHERS’ and so focusing too much on ‘others’ and in a way, relegating myself to a second plane which might have been ‘subtly’ there, but it does create and sustains a persona/personality around ‘being an example’ and making that ‘my living purpose’ where it becomes about showing, demonstrating, teaching others something instead of first living it for and as myself, entirely and unconditionally.

See, what I found I tend to miss is that in being the best for myself, as myself, for myself = one invariably then becomes an example – but here I had to redefine my relationship with the word ‘example’ because within me it was plagued with notions of my past experience as an ‘exemplar student’ and how I was placed on a form of ‘pedestal’ at the eyes of my peers as in being used to show others ‘how things should be done,’ and I’ve lived that pattern ever since – in varying degrees, a lot less pronounced in the past years – but I realized it was still there when I started uncovering more about certain patterns that I’ll continue to share in relation to ‘others’ and how ingrained this point of ‘serving others’ and ‘being for others’ or at times ‘sacrificing’ myself ‘for others’ has existed in my life, taking almost a religious tonality to it, which I’ve been definitely challenging and debunking this past month, allowing myself to slowly but surely disentangle myself from these covert or more ‘ingrained’ aspects in how I’ve been approaching certain aspects in me ‘by default’ which at the same time build personalities in me that have become so much ‘myself’ that I actually required a second pair of eyes looking into my life to assist me in seeing this, which is quite cool as well.

Now this doesn’t mean ‘what I do’ changes, but the starting point does. And that’s what becomes a fine line in everything that we do, are, become and invest ourselves on, being best for ourselves first and foremost which may be understood as a point of selfishness if you will, which I had quite a ‘reaction’ to doing at first, until I realized it was a matter of seeing how I had lived my relationship to words like selfishness, serving, ‘being an example for others’ and others that I’ll be opening up as I go with particular positive and negative charges to them.

I am aware that many more specially in this context of walking a process of self change might have a similar ‘design’ to the one that I have/had/am walking through which is where one kind of forgets about oneself and completely and solely focuses on ‘others’ and ‘serving others,’ at times even if that means compromising oneself in one way or another or simply forgetting to first do things for, by and as myself – and sometimes even going into guilt if one ‘dares’ to do things that are solely for oneself (!). So I found today’s interview released at Eqafe.com spot on describing this pattern and personality, along with a beautiful explanation on ‘finding one’s inner spark’ so altogether very recommendable:  Work, Work, Work (Rediscovering Your Spark in Life) – Quantum Systemization – Part 156

I find then that the whole point of ‘I matter’ has assisted me a lot to confirm what I had been pondering about for some weeks and it’s funny that this word ‘matters’ was popping in my head but I could not see anything further other than what I explained in my previous blog in relation to what matters, what is important, but never linked it to ‘I matter’ which is a necessary ‘click’ that I required to see that yes, I had in a way placed more importance on ‘everything else out there’ rather than focusing first of all and primarily on myself, because how can I in fact be a supportive example if I am missing ‘myself’ in the equation? If I turn this whole process into a semi-religious sacrifice where I believe I cannot enjoy myself and life unless everyone in the world gets to be in a good living position, how would I end up ‘living’ my life?

Well, I would be setting myself to live in an emotional state of misery and that’s definitely not what’s best for me, nor for anyone else if there’s an actual ability and possibility to be ‘the best’ that we can be for ourselves – and so invariably to others as well. I am aware this might sound a bit extreme but this kind of associations did exist within me up to fairly recently, very subtle but still there and it’s a point of morality as well about wanting to be a ‘good person’ that is ‘compassionate’ and ‘caring to others’ as a form of benevolent persona which I am aware now became a limitation to focus on things that I had then judged as not important, menial, shallow, not ‘supportive for the world’ and so, I was exiting in denial of doing things that I know I genuinely enjoy, which I came to at times be in conflict with because of seeing it as ‘menial’ – like doing what I actually trained myself to do, which is arts. Now I’m deciding to fully take that on again as a career path, which I am quite happy about but even this ability to write ‘I am happy about it’ to me has been a process, I initially almost had a ‘hard time’ embracing this decision and life statement yep! That’s how deep this ‘sacrificial sainthood’ pattern goes, yep almost like a nun really that ‘renounces to earthly pleasures’ and what I genuinely like doing for the sake of ‘doing everything for everyone else’ which is not the point at all.

And yes as I write that, man, a part of me wants to pop out and say ‘but no, you can’t!’ and that’s the thing! that’s the personality I’ve lived which can be equated in a polarized manner to that of a religious person in fact where there was a dimension of ‘I cannot enjoy myself, I cannot be ‘happy’ unless everyone else in the world is happy’ and so yes, denying myself the possibility and ability I have to fully live the words ‘I matter’ not only in the aspects I described yesterday, but in everything and anything I do or don’t do, to do it for and as myself and stop seeing myself ‘through the eyes of others’ which I’ve seen lately is quite a ‘biggie’ for me as well.

Therefore, I’m glad that I’ve been able to open this up for myself and I share it considering how someone else might relate to it –part of the principle of making myself ‘matter’ is to express and share, to keep track of myself in what I go discovering about me, my life, the way I’ve lived, the points I have yet to walk, change and fine tune. All of this is what I see is a key for me to step out of certain limitations as beliefs, ideas of ‘who I must be’ that eventually become what has been defined as ‘the religion of self’ as the personalities we’ve become, the limitations, the fears, the morality over the reasons why we do or don’t do things which stand as obstacles to us fully embracing, living and expressing as the matter, the life, the potential that is here as ourselves, that’s what the Desteni Process is about, so in a way learning to be ‘the best’ for yourself, as yourself entirely and then get to realize what that means when understanding the actuality of equality and oneness : )

 

Will continue to share as I go…

 

Thanks for reading!

 

Hollow the Priest

 

Join us in our process of Self-Expression as LIFE

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155. Are we all Cannibals?

Redefining Consumerism as Self Support.

Within continuing looking at consumerism and the Frog Interviews, it is clear that the initial relationship we formed toward everything that is here, lead us to eventually having to consume ourselves in order to continue living – consuming ourselves? yes, we consume ourselves within the understanding that who and what we are as the substance within this physical existence is in fact  everything and all that we are and that which we use to sustain ourselves as physical bodies and, also as the mind that we fuel with our very own physical substance. For further explanations on this point, check out the Heaven’s Journey To Life blog.  We have been transforming this life substance and diminishing it to energy, to only being a temporary high in our minds to power up thoughts, emotions and feelings – thus, how to honor our living reality and physicality once that we discover that at the moment we’ll have to continue consuming food to exist?

 

I have walked through the point of judging having to eat and shit at the same time, consuming physicality and using it up to then dispose everything that I don’t require any longer within my physical body. Through understanding how the composition of my own physical body is the same as everything and everyone that is here – common sense – I got to see how it is in fact only the relationships that I have formed and created within my mind toward everything that I consume that which must be cleared up/aligned/ corrected  to in fact make of my own self-consumption a living-support, and not just feeding myself with food to sustain a physical body that would later on ‘empower’ my own mind as the ‘occupant’ within my body, depleting all the actual life-substance to power up thoughts, feelings and emotions as that point of separation we have existed as within our minds.

 

If cannibalism is seen as immoral in society, guess what? We’ve done this to ourselves through participating in our minds within believing ‘it is who we are.’

“Where I had within and throughout my Life, created who I am in my mind, and connected everything/everyone into and as my who I am in my Mind and so emerged into/as physicality reality through a Mind/as a Mind. Where, the processes of thinking/internal conversations emerged as how I would, within my Mind-Reality and the relationships I had formed within it – evolve it through thinking, and having internal conversations within myself and substantiate the Mind through/with energy/energy-experience as I make my internal alternate mind reality of actual physical reality ‘alive’. And so create an entire ILLUSION of what it means to live/be alive, not seeing, realising and understanding how for the Mind to exist, the Physical Body is sacrificed..” – Sunette Spies – Thought Designs – Part 2: DAY 154

 

 

We have All certainly participated in this by the mere fact of identifying and accepting ourselves to ‘be the mind’ and being literally ignorant about the actual functioning of the relationship between the physical and the mind, and about ourselves as the actual corporation/ consistency/ physicality of who and what we are really made of, which is ourselves as our physical body – wow, we have really Never in fact considered our entire physical body as the – derogatorily speaking – energetic source for our little bright mind to continue existing as this seemingly infinite resource to think, feel, imagine, wish, dream and hope all the time, which includes the points we’ve been looking at in terms of consuming/ buying/ possessing something or someone. And that is our real nature.

 

Within consuming – besides buying – we have the Eating consumption. And within this a way to practically walk this point of consuming/ consumerism at the moment within realizing that everything that we eat is ourselves, and everything that we have always consumed in any form/way is ourselves – this implies that our very own living-reality of consumption is based on us consuming ourselves. Now, this sounds really Not Cool I mean, all the time we thought we were in fact just ‘eating’ and that such action had no other meaning than sustaining the physical body – BUT! What we didn’t know, realize or understand is how the mind actually worked in relation to the physical body, and how everything that we ate would actually serve to sustain the very mind physical system that exists at an interdimensional level, sipping out the actual physical substance to transform into energy for its own survival – yep, a real parasite there and we are constantly feeding it – how? through participating in thoughts, emotions and feelings and any other type of mind-experience that we think is ‘us’ experiencing it, never really understanding what it in fact implies at the level of consciousness to be continuing creating relationships toward everything/ everyone in separation of ourselves through energy.

 

Thus, we have diminished the life substance that we consume to support ourselves to single batteries to power up the mind – the same way that we all have become single batteries to power up an entire world system of money. We see how we tend to judge ‘the world system’ in separation of ourselves, and how this actually leads us nowhere but further victimization instead of Self-Support with actual understanding through writing, applying Self-Forgiveness, Self Corrective Statements and Living it/ Applying it to in fact get to see how we have all been ‘unconditional’ participants to create the current world-system fuckup we exist as.

What does this practically mean? That we can begin considering the food we eat as an unconditional point of self support that we can in fact Use/support ourselves with to start living self-forgiveness beginning with the food that we eat.

 

 

As everything, we can redefine ‘consumerism’ as a derogatory term and instead see it as a physical function of taking in/eating/ingesting life to produce/support/give sustenance to ourselves As Life,  and that point of ‘producing/ supporting life’ is entirely up to us, to no longer use/ abuse food to feed our mind-cravings and mind needs, but instead assist and support our physical body in reality, the reality of what is required as nutrients which certainly is another aspect of education that must be investigated with our own physical bodies and proper medical diagnosis like blood samples, to see where and how we can practically nurture ourselves in an efficient manner, and not only following the desires, needs and wants of our mind, which is then already using the energy up to think about wanting/ needing/ and desiring, just like a never ending ouroboros to consume itself.

 

Thus through committing ourselves to Live and walk the Living Correction through Writing, Self Forgiveness, Self Corrective Statements and the Practical Application, we ensure that the nutrients we take in the form of food from/ of the Earth as the substance required to keep ourselves alive, are used to sustain ourselves during our Journey To Life, which means that it is to honor that which we take in as ‘food’ within the consideration that such nutrients and support for our body will in fact Not be used to power up our mind flicks and energetic manias, but instead support who we are as the realization of the relationship between the physical body and the mind, ensuring that through us stopping our participation in the mind within this Process; thus we use the nutrients to honor ourselves, honor life, because that’s certainly something that we were not taught to even consider within the foods that we eat, we simply learned that we give money for it and have ‘the right’ to consume it, that’s it.

 

So a practical point to consider whenever we are consuming foods, is to commit ourselves to realize that we are sustaining ourselves to LIVE in/as the Physical Body here breathing and providing the necessary nutrients to every physical component of our entire body, instead of feeding/ nurturing ourselves as our body to only power up the mind that sucks up such nutrients from our very tissue in order to continue the separation from ourselves as the physical body, externalizing this consumerism within the world system through money to ‘buy’ and ‘consume’ as a form of satisfying/ fulfilling/ creating a positive experience within ourselves As the Mind itself and so, becoming actually an eating-slave to power up the system that we have abdicated our living responsibility to.

 

This is a Vital point to understand, because it’s never been explained before how our thoughts are not ‘made up of stars’ as some innocent imaginary thing that has no consequence on the physicality that we are, no. They all Do have a consequence just as everything else that we participate in, and that’s our responsibility to get to know in detail about, as it is Our physical body and as such, our entire understanding of how this reality works so that we can in fact start getting a more in depth-view and understanding of this current world system being the direct outflow and manifestation of the very relationships that we are existing as within our physical body – you can begin with walking the Quantum Mind Series at Eqafe and get a hold of this in a step-by-step detailed explanation of what we are, how us participating in thoughts actually defines our entire relationship toward ourselves/ all in our reality, and also how to through becoming aware of this, commit ourselves to be the generation that stops accepting the mind as ‘normal,’ and also stopping any knowledge and information about how the physical body works that has been based on profit-making other than an actual support and assistance toward our quality living standards in our current society and reality.

 

We decide who and what we actually feed because we are the ones that decide in every moment whether we live or only delegate our beingness to a mind to do the pseudo-living for us through thinking reality, instead of living it.

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