630. #EqafeDiscovery: The All Encompassing Word

And the cookie-dough theory

The way I wanted to start writing this blog out was with a form of disclaimer about how this writing might sound a bit too ‘out there’ and how it may be a bit too ‘conceptual’ in nature, as a way to control the way that I believe it will go, to have a ‘handle’ of it. Well, I was in essence going to play out what I am about to share here.

I was listening to a podcast and the guest in it shared how he tends to be quite intense with things, he talks in a passionate manner about what he’s been through in life and how he takes on his life sounds the same way. But, that means he also takes things quite ‘to the heart’ as in very personal or creates heavy emotions or feelings about just anything. I can relate to being the kind of ‘intense’ person in essence as well, but the interviewer explained how also using judgment like that can be a way to control things, to have a ‘grasp’ on something, to kind of dominate it or believe we ‘know exactly what we are and what we are not’ and ‘what we are dealing with’ as a form of control. This got stuck in my mind and I said to myself ‘I have to write about that topic.’

This is an essential aspect of language itself. I keep going back to the cookie-dough theory that I created when I was studying linguistics. It’s about conceiving the realm of all things that exist as a one-single-whole, it’s life itself as I understand it and that is basically the broadest word I know that can define everything that is and exists, everything that is ‘here’. Some others may call it god or nature or ‘the whole’ or even ‘higher forces’– so for practical purposes let’s consider the analogy of life being this ‘wholeness’ as cookie dough. Then there was the emergence of ourselves as beings –even before we were humans – and our first expression came out of a desire to be more, to create some kind of ‘exciting experience’ that led this one part of the whole to separate from the rest of the whole. There, ‘the whole’ became ‘two’ and what happened with these two is that they saw themselves as different entities. They could not recognize that what they were seeing was themselves as well, because they could not see themselves…. They believed they were ‘different’ and so judged themselves as that. Bam! That’s the first moment of separation and what emerged from there was the definition of ‘who the other one is’ – a judgment which, for this case, can be basically any word used to ‘define’ what the other one is or isn’t.

Part of this cookie-dough analogy entails also considering that we as the beings and expressions that ‘came out of’ the cookie dough in itself, created these cookie-cutters as words, expressions that could encompass, hold or contain a part of that cookie dough that became a meaning in itself, an ‘identifiable’ expression, a thing, an action, a part of this ‘wholeness’ in order to be able to grasp it, to name it, to comprehend it, to communicate and so to live or do those words that we defined and created. Matter as life itself as the ‘cookie dough’ got cut in multiple ways that we defined through our minds, through the cookie-cutters that we forged or shaped ourselves.

To me this has been the way to realize how words became double-edged swords. They became both the tools and at the same time the ‘weapons,’ they could be used for virtually any purpose that we would define and decide them to be. That’s how as it is said ‘words are innocent’ and it is us that have defined how they are lived.

The world we are living reveals the nature of who we became as the forgers of these cookie-cutters, the way that we defined life expressions beginning with how we formed opinions and judgments as the way that we relate to each other from the primordial times of the emergence of life as we know it. We started defining, naming, judging and with that entirely consecrating the division of ‘who we are’ as seemingly completely separate individuals that ‘in no way’ could ‘ever’ be in fact one and equal…. Because we created an experience of disliking ‘the other,’ we judged ‘the other’ as inferior, as not good enough, as bad, as ‘the worst’ – or we went to the opposite realm of ‘desiring what the other had’ – at least as we believed it to be. In any case, words have been used to solidify our separation, both towards others but also within ourselves.

To me this has been an essential realization to understand the importance of being very specific in how I word myself, and how this ‘Me’ that I conceptualize as my story, as who I am and how I relate to others is in fact one expression of the whole that I have separated myself from. It’s essential for me to remind myself how we’ve gotten ‘very lost’ forgetting that we are in fact all equal and one, we are made of the same life, we are just existing in a multiplicity of forms and ways to the point that we’ve forgotten where we come from.

It of course now seems a bit naïve for me to even look at the possibility of us being able to realize this ‘today’ and live in fact ‘together as one’ as some songs have dreamed of. It is worth considering this, but I am quite realistic about the situation we are living in at the moment in our world and what I see is the prominent polarization, extremism and confrontation of all of the innumerable ways we have separated ourselves from through these very judgments, opinions and definitions that ‘separate us’ or ‘identify us’ in separation from others.

We are seeing the inevitable conflicts, confrontations, wars and constant tension and fighting that is being created now as we face all of those judgments, ideas, beliefs, perceptions we have held towards one another throughout the entirety of our existence. In essence it is a relevant thing for me to remind myself that we may have different shapes and colors on top, but we are essentially all made of the same dough, of the same life, we have just separated ourselves from each other in all these various forms to the point where we’ve forgotten that we are in fact ‘one and equal.’

Why do I find it useful to remind myself of this in times like today? I keep track of the global events mostly at a political and social level – and what’s currently visible is how the differences that we can see ‘on the surface’ are more prevalent than ever today and causing a serial form of ‘outrage’ in everyone without a second thought to even consider what I just explained above. It baffles me how bad things can get when people get defined with their cookie-cutter shape and forget the essence of who we all are as life, as humans in this case. I realize how we have wrongly ‘empowered’ ourselves through words, not using them to flourish and give birth to life – as we practice with Living Words – but how we have used them to do the opposite, to destroy life in all forms and ways. This is our current truth, and we can change it, but takes self-work to do that.

Sure some might consider that we’ve been always on war, always killing each other, always separating ourselves according to races, political ideologies, genders, sexual and any other form of preferences, religions, etc. However! Not many are aware of or could conceive that all of those identity labels are opinions, are judgments and they will eventually have to be realized as such to stop this seemingly endless charade. Sure, it might not take a few generations only, but it needs to start right here, right now because the process is in motion and it’s here to stay, no matter how long it takes.

Process is precisely that decision that life itself has taken in its utmost expression to no longer accept and allow separation, to bring through the expression of life itself in a way that is self-supportive no longer bound to ways, systems and forms that are meant to control – in the negative connotation of the word – life. Control is not something bad in itself though, as a word it is useful, for example we have to have control of our bodies to function properly. I see it more as a direction that we take on, but currently, we are just playing out the ‘play’ of separation, of deception, of conflict, of essentially perceiving ‘the others’ as separate from ourselves. That is a form of control that is perpetuated through judgment. And it is not only ‘externalized’ towards others, but it exists within ourselves, and it’s been there from the very moment of our primordial separation… that’s how far ‘mind control’ goes in fact.  

We have allowed ourselves to make it normal to judge ourselves by our character – the ways and personalities we have or don’t’ have – and our bodies, in terms of the shapes, forms, colors it may have and we make of it a ‘big deal’ to concern us about that, in terms of how we believe ‘others will see us’ and how they will judge us.

word

n   noun: a single distinct meaningful element of speech or writing, used to form sentences with others.

 

judgement (also judgment)

n   noun: the ability to make considered decisions or form sensible opinions. Øan opinion or conclusion.

 

 

 

 

Emitting a judgment is then not a ‘bad’ thing per se, but it is so that currently based on our – for the most part – lack of proper education or lack of awareness on these basic principles of how we are in fact one and equal, we have come to disregard the life that we are in all its forms and how we relate to everything-else-that-is-ourselves-too in ways that are for the most part degrading, inferiorizing, deprecating, and the list goes on. In essence, we haven’t learned or weren’t taught How to LIVE words that are supportive, that nurture one’s life, that consider the life of others-that-are-me-as-well in the same way, because… we just conveniently ‘forgot’ who we really are as one and equal, as a whole that is an expression of Life itself. It is seemingly ‘easier’ to fight wars than work on an inner-process to create self-responsibility and honor the life that we are equal-to-each-other.

I know this is nothing new, it’s been written in many sacred books in various ways and in different philosophies throughout time, but strangely so, it has remained as some kind of ‘unified theory’ and holistic view of life that appears to be ‘way out there’ and has not been made practical, feasible and realistically doable – dare I say until now. This has created a seemingly ‘comfortable separation’ between all of those wise words pronounced by various philosophers, thinkers or prophets throughout history, and we’ve caged them into books of ‘religious doctrines’ or ‘quack theories’ that we have relegated to oblivion, but never really learned how to make the whole set of wise words and advices something practical.

Why am I so passionate to always go back to this ‘beginning of existence’ type of topics? Because this is something that I somehow ‘knew’ as a little girl and got confirmed of it through studying the Eqafe.com audios that explain the history of existence, all the material at Desteni, Heaven’s Journey To Life (read at least the 100 first posts that describe all aspects on this topic) and everything that Bernard Poolman shared to the public, which is not a ‘light read’ but by life itself, it’s been the one source of understanding that I am again eternally grateful to be aware of because as I was saying, it was soothing for me to know that that which I felt or acted on at some level was in fact a reality.

As a child I had some ‘weird’ ways of being such as not wanting to hit things because I considered they could feel as well, I wasn’t ‘mean’ to other people or thought bad about them because I cared about other children by imagining what it would be to be ‘them’ as well. I would get very sad and depressed as a child upon seeing that some children would not behave that way towards me… and starting to recognize evil in humanity and so how it played out in reality became a source of existential anguish that I tried to understand for many years by deliberately creating my own forms of ‘understanding’ what led people to act and behave in certain ways, including myself eventually as I reached my teenage years and I saw myself creating desires that I wanted to fulfill and would clash in an explosive manner with my parents. Yet, I wanted to know ‘why’ we were all so lost, so hopeless and helpless…. And yes I went through several routes as philosophies, books, spiritualties and religions until I essentially stopped on my tracks when I got to listen to the Desteni message on January 30^th 2008, a memorable date in my life that would forever change who I am, for the best.

The message of oneness and equality, as ‘euphemistic’ and ‘ethereal’ it may sound, to me it means the comprehension of who I am as part of this world, why I am here and what we are doing in this process is precisely to turn the tables from the mess we’ve made of ourselves – consequently of life itself – and to direct ourselves, to deliberately change our ways so that we can become ‘whole’ again. This doesn’t mean or imply that everyone will be holding hands as we run through the fields in an everlasting happiness…. This means simply being able to be a human being that considers that it IS possible to be the best that you can in whatever you do and wherever you are and with whomever you are around and from that, if everyone lives this: we go in fact shaping the new forms of living, the new expressions, using the words that express life itself, that expresses that ‘best version of ourselves’ that we know we currently aren’t, yet we know the potential is here, because we all can see what is currently very wrong in our world or at least the aspects that are causing conflicts and what everyone would want in order for all of us to live at a relative and acceptable peace.

It’s all the judgments, the imposition of opinions through charged adjectives that we believe ‘we are’ that separates us. This is a very ‘simplistic’ way of putting it, but it is in fact so… it is so that it is THAT silly to realize what we are in fact fighting and killing ourselves for something that exists merely in our minds as words made judgments, turned into weapons and deprecating words.

Is it difficult to live this realization? It is at times hard to see people getting lost in all sorts of separation and division – all words that lead to actions that perpetuate this separation. It baffles me, but now I create an understanding about it so as to remind myself in a simple moment of all of this that I’ve realized and understood throughout the years, so that I no longer get angry or sad about it. I also slip out of myself at times and get into the realm of separation through opinions, judgments, fears, ideas I create about others and that I speak and act on.  And at the same time, I’ve learned to not judge myself for it, because I know how deep this ‘conditioning’ goes, I am aware this has become the most ingrained way to ‘be’, that’s how it takes a deliberate decision to recognize any mistake or fall and from there to deliberately decide to correct myself in relation to it, to change myself and ‘my ways’ to become a more life-encompassing being.

Encompassing is a cool word as I see it, it embraces, it holds, it contains the whole, it also contains the word ‘compass’ as a direction that I can consider every time that I get lost in separation. It also sounds like compassion which I’ve also recently decided to redefine as a consideration, an understanding, and so this is also pertinent to remind myself whenever I get ‘lost in my ways’ essentially. To consider the whole, to put it simply.

The first time that I heard the series ‘The Secret History of the Universe’ it was like a revelation I have been waiting to understand, it was like a ‘Eureka’ moment for me, and from there it was like taking a soothing aid for my soul so to speak, I’m not even joking about this. I bring through to my awareness the essential aspects that I got from listening to this series in order to remind myself of who we really are and where we are going – I do this whenever I seem to get ‘lost in the mind’ and in certain experience. I especially do this whenever I read the multiple forms of judgments, bullying, calling names, complaining, blaming and the list goes on of words and declarations going on in our world through media and social media today. It too is part of revealing ourselves to each other, I remind myself that we have to bring through the common sense through it, but I also realize that it will take time for the mess to be sorted out, because we are currently in the ‘explosive’ face so to speak. It’s not a happy ride, but it’s a necessary phase, this is the real face of the revelation, the apocalypse as many called it. This is it! Seeing our truth through our words, thoughts and deeds.

This process is the only way with which I’ve been able to ‘soothe my existential pain’ and the series I mentioned above was one of the reasons for it, so I recommend it as an essential part of one’s self.-awareness process. I even suggest making notes, perhaps little drawings that assist in understanding it. I decided to make a photo back then to point out the obvious and what seemed like a very big ‘duh!’ moment for me J

Enjoy this and many other series on Eqafe currently available through the amazing opportunity that the Eqafe Unlimited  plan brings… as I always say, it will change your life if you dare to live the realizations you get from all the material there.

That’s it! Enjoy these audios that speak of the specific moments that got me to have this ‘Eureka’ moment:

• The Secret History of the Universe – Does Separation in fact Exist – Part 5 

• The Secret History of the Universe – Is Energy Life – Part 6

 

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545. Living Adaptability

§  Continuing from: 530. The Secret Behind Attraction
and second part to 544. Being Inadaptable as Self-Limitation

 

I had an interesting dream after having written about this point of inadaptability which I explain in a nutshell in this vlog that I made today for context, but overall it was very cool for me to get some clarity of this point that I opened up yesterday about ‘inadaptability’ and seeing from another perspective what I was in fact accepting and allowing to exist within me but seen from another perspective.

Here I apply a suggested way to approach self-forgiveness which was shared in the following Eqafe.com interview:  Breakups: Problem-Solution-Change! – Atlanteans – Part 466 which is a great series and this approach for the solution is something I’ll test out from here on.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to embrace reality as myself as where, through allowing judgments as liking or disliking a particular weather or a particular living set-up, I’ve allowed my judgments to create an obstacle in me being fully comfortable, grounded and enjoying my life and interaction with others regardless of ‘where’ I am located and what the weather conditions are or how the environment looks like.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to live the word equality towards the physical environment I can be living in, wherein through allowing a belief such as “weather conditions can drain me and make me ‘lose my efficiency” I’ve been existing in a form of blame towards natural conditions that I’ve created a reaction to, instead of realizing that living this comfort and stability within me is not dependent on ‘the external factors’ or conditions, but it can only be lived through stopping the judgments I allowed myself to create towards heat for example or having fears towards particular animals, fearing having no access to basic resources wherein I believe that all of these factors place my life at risk – instead of seeing how I haven’t allowed myself to be expandable as in being grounded within myself wherever I am or can settle in and so focusing on living the word adaptability and flexibility when it comes to getting used to a particular environment and ensuring there are no judgments/separation towards it.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to live the word embrace towards the environments I’ve lived in that I’ve judged as having ‘extreme’ conditions or particular lacks or deficiencies, making my entire experience subject to the external factors, instead of realizing how I am the directive principle within myself and I decide what kind of experiences or judgments I turn into an actual  way to experience reality through my own acceptance and allowance – therefore I realize that living the word adaptability or being adaptable is the ability to embrace an environment as is, to not judge it, to not react to it based on preprogrammed reactions of my past that I have recreated and ‘rehashed’ in my current moment and making it ‘as the reality of who I am’ based on my own participation in it, wherein I haven’t allowed myself to be congruent in living the word Equality not only towards people, but also towards the physical environment, other beings that are non-human and all of its conditions in it that are also an extension of myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to live the word flexibility whenever I have seen myself feeling appalled by a particular weather condition wherein there are ways to mitigate the outflows of extreme heat for example, yet while I was in those conditions I decided to get frustrated and feel ‘paralyzed’ instead of seeking solutions and stopping the irritation that I created within myself ‘towards the heat itself’ here

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to fully take responsibility for my own experiences as reactions created towards particular weather conditions, such as irritation, annoyance, discomfort and helplessness caused towards ‘heat’ which are entirely my own creation and I have the ability to decide to stop it all considering how much of a habit it has become in my life.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to live the word disposition wherein I can be an ‘available matter’ to go, be or live in wherever environment I have to be at, wherein I’ve used the excuse of my reaction towards heat as a reason to not go to certain places, using the self-definition of having ‘aversion to heat’ as a reason to justify why I am not willing to embrace a particular environment and its weather condition – which is proof of how if I allow these judgments, beliefs and reactions towards reality, I cause myself a limitation, wherein I see that I can expand and be much more flexible and pliable if I let go of these charged memories of judging, disliking and being uncomfortable towards heat.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to live the word humbleness in the context of being able to adapt to an environment that is not what I have conditioned to deem as ‘suitable’ or ‘perfect’ in terms of certain standards I’ve created throughout my life and within that, having allowed comparison to dictate my decisions of where to live, instead of making a practical assessment to see the reasons to go and live in a particular environment without making the weather factor, the cultural factor, the ‘people around the environment’ factor a reason to limit my ability to expand, learn and grow as a person in a new environment.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to be tranquil and at peace and ease when experiencing myself in extreme weather conditions or new environments wherein I can require a process of adaptation, wherein I’ve allowed myself to go into desperation, helplessness, irritation, annoyance and ‘blaming the heat’ instead of rather learning to question who am I as these words that exist within me, as experiences that I create and pull out whenever I ‘feel’ extreme heat, therefore I commit myself to live self-awareness in my relationship to how I experience my physical body in higher temperatures specifically and make sure I can breathe and ground myself in my body and not allow myself to recreate the same old patterns around it.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to not yet fully live the word responsibility for my reactions which stem from my mind, not my physical body because my body has the ability to adapt along with any form of additional support such as being well hydrated in terms of extreme heat – therefore I stop the blame towards ‘heat’ and instead look back at myself and my memorized reactions I have to stop participating in.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to live the word relax when going out and feeling the rays of the sun hitting on my face and all over my body, wherein my immediate reaction is that of discomfort, annoyance, cringing, wanting to ‘go back inside’ or only seeking the shadows – which of course in terms of a prolonged sun exposure it can be too much for the body and skin, but it is possible to still be under the sun and be ok within oneself, not participating in reactions considering that weather can be challenging and all human beings get to experience it in a physical manner the same way – but it is up to each one of us how we decide to live through it: embracing it or constantly fighting it – and I choose to live the word embrace in relation to heat and embracing the sun rays and sun light along with the necessary support for the body to be ok with extreme heat.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to live humbleness in the context of being in environments or households that lacked basic services wherein I’ve allowed myself to go into fear of not being able to survive through that, instead of realizing that my fear and stress consumes and affects my body a lot more than the lack of certain basic services in a momentary manner.

Of course here also realizing how much we are depriving fellow beings from living to their utmost potential because of not having placed ourselves in their shoes to realize what billions have to endure when not having access to their basic resources, starting with food and water, and so in this, I also realize I haven’t placed myself in a point of equality to genuinely see that what I’m accepting to exist towards those billions is actually done all to myself as well and that nothing will in fact change if I continue simply fearing being in such precarious condition, instead of living resilience, an ability to adapt and keep going even if basic things we take for granted are suddenly not  available, yet of course continuing to create awareness of the need to sort out this problem for many more in the world.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to truly live the word equality towards animals, wherein I’ve still accepted fears and experiences of disgust towards them, perceiving some animals as intimidating or a cause of disruption of my environment, wherein I have in fact limited myself from really embracing them as life, as a part of who we all are and not seeing that I had existed in judgment towards them as something that I could only tolerate, but not fully embrace, instead of actually pushing myself to learn to embrace, which is to not judge, to not see through the filter of preferences, but to learn to see and live with them as an equal part of life that is here as myself.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to live the word adaptability in relation to weather conditions, wherein I’ve conditioned my own ‘state of mind’ to be defined and influenced based on ‘weather conditions’ all the time – therefore allowing me to react to external conditions – instead of realizing I can decide who I am in every moment and not allowing a weather-condition to define me.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to embrace the different kinds of weather and instead having gone to specify what is an enjoyable weather and what is not, which means that I’ve made myself subject to a how hot or cold an environment is to feel a particular way, an amount of clouds or lack thereof in the sky, the amount of wind or lack thereof there is, the presence or absence of rain, how ‘clear’ the air around is, how noisy or quiet the environment is, how dirty or clean my surroundings are – all of which I’ve defined as the experience of being inadaptable and generally ‘picky’ in my reality, which I am determined to instead live as the words embrace, humbleness, being forgiving and uncritical, non-judgmental which is the actual way to stop then placing my body under a ‘programmed’ stress that I then have blamed ‘heat’ to be the cause of, when in fact, it’s all self-created.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to challenge the learned and acquired patterns related to ‘reacting towards heat’ learned from others in my environment, wherein it becomes a righteous experience that goes unquestioned, instead of realizing that we always have the ability to choose to not get reactive and emotionally overwhelmed about something, but embracing it, especially with everything that has to do with conditions, factors and contexts that I have no ability to change, such as weather.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to be flexible and pliable in relation to the process of adapting to a particular environment or set of weather conditions, instead of wanting to be controlling towards my environment which only results in a constant inner-fight wherein I do more damage to my very own physical body through the emotional experience than the weather condition I believe is making me ‘feel’ a certain way or causing certain damage in my body.

 

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to live the word acceptance and embracing when it comes to reality and all of its factors wherein the moment I start judging, I start separating myself and so begin justifying a fight, a conflict towards a part of reality – being it a context or environment, people, animals, wherein I have to remind myself to live equality towards them and that implies no judgment, not acting out on judgments, not making decisions based on emotional experiences or judgments, but learn to be very practically-oriented when making decisions, ensuring I am clear in my ability to work through these reactions which are really not a big deal if living the word embrace and acceptance – I definitely have blown things out of proportion in my head and that’s another thing I have to stop within me as well.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to live the word flow wherein I can breathe through any emergence of reactions towards the weather, but instead I have become so used to always having a comment about the weather and how bothered I am by it or how much I am enjoying it which then becomes a polarity I’ve kept alive within me as some form of ‘righteousness’ with which I have created consequences in my life, that I had overlooked or deemed as not-important – when in fact, every single aspect of who we are in everything we do represents and speaks a lot about ourselves and ‘who we are’ in relation to life.

So this is one of those things that I would not have gone and opened up by my own volition because it was an ingrained set of reactions I had normalized in my life and it’s only through looking at the word adaptability as a trait that I would like to live and develop, that all of this opened up for me to look at and have present within myself whenever the ‘same old’ experiences may want to come up again, which is the moment where I need to apply myself and in essence, stop fighting my reality in whichever sensation I can perceive it to be, it is ultimately just that, a perception.

 I commit myself to live the word challenge as in questioning myself and the righteous reactions I’ve created towards particular weather conditions, environments, cultures, livelihood set ups and instead be flexible, humble, considerate of others, be ‘flowy’ and adaptable wherever I get to be and live in or experience myself in, because it ultimately all depends on who I decide to be in every moment and live that decision as words to live.

So, this is a plan for me to keep awareness on and apply in my reality from here on.

Thanks for reading

 

 

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408. Taking it All Back to Self-Responsibility

 

A deeply ingrained pattern within me was to see everyone and everything else as the source of my dissatisfaction, my anger, my sadness, my despair and general experience of being vexed just about everything in my world. I actually saw this world as not good enough ‘for me’ instead of ever pondering whether I was ‘making it a better place’ with existing in such constant state of complain and blame toward ‘people of this world’  which is like a constant state of ‘being against world,’ which I used as an excuse to relate to as little people as possible, being rather anti-social and the people that I would gather with, would have a similar bashing toward ‘the system’ as myself and similar preferences when it comes to art or music that would usually create a ‘window’ to just escape the reality that I would define in all derogatory manners I could. I even got fed up with having to live every single day and go through the same routine ‘For what? To make the world a shittier place than it is? To waste more water, food, to eat more animals, to trash the Earth more?’ Was the usual backchat… and still at times something that I have to direct within myself in Self-Responsibility. 

So I actually was what could be deemed as a generally angry person when it comes to ‘life’ in general, which I would then experience as ‘being fed up’ with the world, being against everyone, believing the only thing I could do to ‘make things better’ was criticizing the world system and individuals that I believed were ‘dishonest’ and ‘corrupt’ and sort of like the ‘scum of the Earth’ when it comes to political figures or just about any person that held any form of influential position in my reality. So within this all. In my ignorance then, I believed that I was ‘dignifying’ myself by ‘not falling for the crap in this world’ and that I was holding some kind of self-respect by pointing out the flaws I could count on everything and everyone else – but myself, of course. See, the biggest realization I had to face within this process is that of seeing how in apparently ‘spiting the world,’ I was in fact  spiting myself only, as I am the only one that would constantly create and harbor such anger, criticism, antagonism, the sense of being wronged, limited and enslaved ‘by others’ and having been oppressed for a long time, which at the time I simply saw it as part of ‘my generation,’ never realizing it is actually the nature of who we have become  in fact as human beings throughout time: always blaming others for how we feel, how we live and never ever look within oneself to consider: Ah, yes, it was always me that was creating this experience within me and so projecting it all as ‘my reality’ and actually creating this world and reality based on how I think, feel and perceive myself and everything/everyone in this world, which I never really realized: it’s myself.

 

 ‘But I do nothing wrong! I’m a good person! I wish good for the world! I fight for good causes! I AM a good human being, I am Not the problem, look at what everyone else does! THEY are the problem!’ This exemplifies the kind of stance that I would hold myself in, being on my ‘high horse’ of being an ethical and principled human being that never dared to question whether my pointing fingers at others as ‘those to blame’ was in fact in any way supportive for this world and this reality to change. Of course it wasn’t, and it never will.

 

The principle of self-responsibility implies what I’d like to call the Golden Rule of ‘Taking it Back to Self,’  which is a continuous point of reference that I direct myself to consider whenever I am seeing something in my reality that I would like to blame others for.

 

 

Example:  Today the city was chaotic when it comes to traffic.  There were several protests because of some anti-pollution system that is now asking people that have older car models to not circulate during Saturdays. Of course the people that own old cars and trucks complained the most since they are the ones that need to use the car as a matter of necessity for their work. Say you have to deliver fresh meat, vegetables to your business and travel from the central distributor to run your own business on a daily basis  and because you earn very little money and barely ‘make it’ you cannot afford to buy a new truck, so you have a +15 year old truck and now government rule says: you can’t drive on Saturdays – and you can’t even ask your neighbors or else as they are most likely also in similar situation. Well, what do people resort to: protesting on the streets, and so this is what happened. It’s interesting how for the moment I only focused on how I was being affected by it, then how others were being affected by the traffic and then judging the protest as ‘useless’ – only then was I able to realize that I didn’t know the cause of the protest so I then realized I had to inform myself about it.

What did I do? Well,  I had to walk a lot to get around, and initially I did let out some F words only to realize I was just playing the ‘angry person that has no context of why things are happening that way.’ So as I researched and placed myself in the shoes of others, I understood their discontent however it is also a paradox since the kilometers of cars that were on ‘stand by’ on the streets today most likely created more pollution than the old-model trucks that won’t circulate on Saturdays. Well, paradox is our last name on this Earth too. So instead of me getting angry at the government, getting angry at the protestors, getting angry at the packed train and ‘angry at the world’ for being so un-common sensical, I simply walked the situation ensuring I kept myself breathing, focusing instead on the actual walking, the routes and breathing, not getting disgusted with the car fumes which is another point to work with when walking past lines and lines of cars and trucks in stand by in what seemed like perpetual traffic. I actually placed myself in the shoes of the people stagnant in their cars and pondered how desperate they must be, not being able to even ‘turn around’ and leave the chaos, it was everywhere, which was again just a projection of how I have experienced myself in the past in such traffic jams inside a bus or car.

 What to do in such cases? Sit down and cry, yell? Scream? Curse at the government and environmental department for such measures? No, I instead understood the consequences we have created overall and how I could do nothing else but not participate in any form of reaction toward the situation. Instead I used the opportunity to strike a conversation with another person about the situation and realizing how others are less apprehensive than myself, so, I simply did what I had to do and got home safely. So, from an entire point that I could have turned into just another excuse to ‘blame the government’ or ‘blame the people’ or ‘hate the world’ I took responsibility for stopping my own reactions, seeing the ‘bigger picture’ and formulating plan B’s for transportation as a short-term solution and plan of action. In the long run and as a world-system solution, I support, plan and contribute the creation of a world-system where each one of us can be self-responsible and always consider what is best for all, so that these pollution measures are not a consequence of interests in running 20^th century technology for over 60 years causing the environmental problems we have today, while technology could have been made available for everyone to run cars on other means other than petrol and so, prevent this kind of ‘bans’ and limiting people’s mobility. This is common sense and common sense is what must reign in our world: it begins within us, seeing, scheming and focusing on the solutions rather than complaining about the problems and the causes thereof.

 

What does Self-Responsibility in this example imply? It is about realizing that whatever I point out in another as a form of judgment or blame for how I experience and making them the ‘culprits’ of ‘my suffering’ is just the finest way to evade taking responsibility for what I experience, for what I generate in my mind and physical body that I then project onto others as if ‘my mind/my thoughts/my experience’ could change the situation – be it emotions, feelings, internal conversations, beliefs, assumptions – oh yes assumptions – still working on that for sure. So, in this case I rather made the best of the situation by ‘enjoying’ the walking and the challenges to create the best route for walking in a safe environment/more crowded and aiming at fulfilling the timeframe I had in order to arrive on time to my responsibilities. And that’s it; I made it and even enjoyed the bit chit-chat with another person while crammed in the train which is a seemingly ‘unimportant’ thing but it can create a sense of realization that we are all in this, we can discuss it and instead of complaining rather understanding it. Was I able to stop my own experiences successfully? I can say I did, even if in the beginning as I was walking past the protestors I could see myself being with an angry face and giving some f words to the air only to quickly realize my little tantrum and so eased the point after a minute and instead I directed my focus and attention on the actual walking I required to do to get to my destination – and so I did.

 

 

 

What I explained is one example where probably being in the same situation in the past I would use these moments as an excuse to rehash my anger at government, system, etc. and this is in fact one of the most prominent points of blame and anger that I’ve existed as toward ‘others’ which is in essence the opposite of taking self-responsibility for myself.  My specialty when it comes to blame and pointing fingers: The elite of this world and specifically catholic church.  I saw them all as ‘THE Culprits’ and the ones to blame for everything that is wrong in this world, even if was less aware of how the system really operates back then, I called it irrational anger which implies I don’t know all the reasons why, but now I see that acting in the mind is irrational: it creates only a sense of ‘righteousness’ without providing any solutions = it’s all a mind job.

I used to spend many hours criticizing the system in chats with friends and believing that I had the write to damn another with words and thoughts and believing that we had the answer to it all, that only ‘my way’ of seeing things was the right one. It becomes even another way to socialize, to create a sentiment of ‘union’ with others when we calumniate about others in positions of power, judging the corruption and ultimately getting nothing sorted out or ‘done’ but only getting angry and laughing it out as if our political assessments and dissent about ‘those in power’ would place us in a more ‘powerful’ position, the ability to bash another in one’s mind as a form of ‘spell’ that could ‘make them pay’ for what we believed was being done onto us and never really pondering ‘well, how am I participating in all of this?’ And this also comes with the excuse of ‘I was born into this’ or ‘I didn’t choose to into this world, my parents did’ or some other responsibility-dodging ‘memes’ that I can even point out from popular songs.

 

All of this was debunked when I came to realize the design of this reality and how the ‘bad guys’ were nothing else and nothing more than also a part of self, self as the whole, as the totality that exists here that is myself too, and that even if there was a god/creator or designer/architect, even if there are elites and bloodlines that had taken care of implementing the essential forms of control, guess what? They are also parts of myself that had been designed and taken such positions to perpetuate and install such forms of control which in turn have been accepted and allowed by each one of ourselves too. In other words: we were/are and have been all equally enslaved by the roles we have played all along throughout our ‘history’ or existence, fooled by the illusion of separation, of having ‘nothing to do’ with all the ‘evil’ in this world and believing myself to not be corrupted by the same mentality I judged those in power to have – but what I never really did was placing myself in their shoes, living their exact same life, their education/indoctrination, their own set-up to believe themselves to have such ability to have power and use it for their own benefit,  maybe even tricked by others within the idea of it being for a good cause too. Who knows? I can now say that whenever I actually place myself in the position of a person born in a golden crib and being essentially trained/educated to perform some kind of managerial/leadership task in this world to create more wealth or perpetuate some bloodline position, I can see how I would have probably done the exact same decisions we see many people ‘in power’ do, as I would then be completely enclosed into that mentality, unable to see beyond my own perception of ‘my task/duty’ in the world or using some ‘ability’ to get the most if such ability and high-end reality was everything I would have ever known ‘reality’ to be. 

Why haven’t we then realized the principle of considering one’s own responsibility? Because this would actually cease the problems, the friction and conflict within ourselves and within this world, which would expose the world-system we’ve created as our image and likeness of ‘divide and conquer’ where we fight within ourselves, apparently ‘fight against the world’ and so creating the concrete jungles we live in where ‘everyone and everything is wrong but myself.’

We coexist in a reality wherein we have all become very personally identified with the roles that we play, we have come to believe ourselves to be our professions, our money, our ownerships, our relationships, our appearance, our qualities and skills and everything that we have defined as ‘who I am’ which in a way it is as the potentials and points to align within self – but at a greater scale, we are only playing our ‘role’ in the play, wherein I’ve realized that what we have to stop from here on is precisely getting lost in the game, getting lost in character and forgetting the greater picture we’re walking here.  There’s so many petty and trivial things we start fighting each other for, blaming, pointing fingers, backchatting, cursing at and essentially always seeing another as ‘the problem’ for MY will /wellbeing to be fulfilled. And this is where we bit the apple and so now face the consequences.

 

Why? The apple is the knowledge and information, the code of consciousness that we have integrated as ‘who we are’ – which is what we define as our egos: what we like, dislike, judge, blame, love, believe on, feel threatened by/fear, reject, accept, etc. All of this is based on the personalities we become. So what happens is that in this world and reality we are all born into various positions that certainly entail no ‘equality’ when it comes to the role in the play/game we are in. We have created this reality in the image and likeness of our own friction and conflict in the mind: we constantly believe we have to justify ourselves, to defend ourselves, to win the game, to trump others, to spite back, to fear, to secure something, etc. And this is in turn what we believe is caused ‘by others’ or ‘by the world’ within self, when in fact all that matters here is realizing that: we do this to ourselves, we cause these experiences within us and as such it is NOT about ‘them,’ it is about what I accept and allow to exist within myself.

 

A point I’ve worked with another person that also walks this process is taking self-responsibility for one’s reactions even when having faced a point of direct physical abuse. To learn how to take self-responsibility and to SELF-Forgive the creation of blame, resentment, holding a grudge toward another that is perceived as the ‘wrong doer’ entails an actual understanding of what led to such point of abuse, how do we all collectively create such point of abuse, how not to take personally the point of abuse and how to actually focus on self-forgiving the experiencing within self toward another and so realizing that the most harm done toward self is the recreation of blame, spite, resentment toward ‘the other’ as such experiences are always created within self, and self’s body and mind are the ones that actually end up being more affected throughout time than the actual point of abuse itself. This is then a clear example how Self-Responsibility goes hand in hand with Self-Forgiveness, because there is a realization of What I have done to MYSELF based on what I believed was a way to regain some sense of honor or respect, by spiting/being disgusted at/blaming/being angry at others that created a point of abuse ‘toward me’ – but in fact, once one starts exploring ‘abuse’ in itself, we can only come to the conclusion that all abuse is always self-abuse and that one cannot really ‘get away with murder’ in this existence, it might seem like it temporarily – but no one is at the moment ‘absolved’ from having to go through a Life Review wherein in this world or after death we get to face all points that we had left behind and that we believed we didn’t have to face again. Well, nothing really ‘washes away’ in this reality and that’s where Accountability exists along with Self-Responsibility.

 

 

So once that I realize that everything I have experienced is My creation only, and that the ‘way of the world’ is nothing else but OUR ways in which we haven’t learned how to create a world that’s best for all, blaming, calling others names, getting angry at others, seeing myself as the ‘right’ one or any other delusion is then realized As the delusion, the actual point of irresponsibility that I play out just to ignore and deliberately abdicate my responsibility which is toward myself first and foremost so that I can then also see what I create in my world based on my own experiences. I am one point stopping, but what would happen if we all collectively understood this point, got out of the ‘angry/blameful character’ and start taking self-responsibility for what goes on within and without of ourselves?

 

I was talking to another today and it’s cool to get to see these points while walking this process as well, where a huge point of self-responsibility resides in the words we speak and understanding the ‘nature’ of the word that we speak and what we make of our reality with/through them. Being self-responsible implies realizing that whatever I  do/think/say creates a consequence, and so I ensure that I am able to Respond to such consequences, that I can effectively direct myself and others within such outflows and consequences as ‘they’ are in fact myself. So it is about self-direction where within common sense I stop creating the illusion of separation, the illusion of ‘others’ and start realizing that as I direct myself in consideration of what I act/do or don’t do in consideration of what is best for all as the principle that I live by as life in equality, being one and equal in fact, then I in fact start taking responsibility for myself and my creation/my reality as myself which includes others.

 

Sounds like a big task, but it isn’t when we begin with ourselves and so doing it to the point where the ways in which we recognize ‘the world system works’ are in fact patterns that exist within each one of us at a mind level, as our ‘ego’ that becomes them some kind of concept, idea, or system we enslave/limit each other with. This is how we cannot only say that ‘it is THEM’ doing it to ME’ because: it takes two to tango. The puppeteer cannot exist without the one that poses as puppet.

 

 

 

Many times I saw myself damning people, specifically people in power, people at heads of church or even some priests at my school. I wanted to blame them for perpetuating the lies, the corruption, the scams, the degradation of life to a profitable scheme where good ‘neutral’ images could sell education and promote ‘the word of god’ while doing the exact opposite to any of the principles ‘they’ were supposed to have vowed to. Well, if anything: aren’t we all doing the same thing? Aren’t we all living these lives where we all try and put our nicest image and idea of ourselves to hide everything that we know in fact exists as a threat to everyone’s well-being?  In my case I for sure spent a great amount of time polishing an image, an idea of myself, how I was going to achieve my aims which were all mostly based on personal power such as getting into some kind of ‘mainstream’ position that I would so openly criticized, but be able to position myself on the ‘left’ side of it, being the famous and popular opposition so that I could also make quite a big buck by writing and theorizing about dialectics, revolutions and how awfully wrong everything was in this world, seeking ‘justice’ through punishing those ‘at the top’ or any other form of diversion from Self-Responsibility, which is what’s broadly promoted in this world as ‘activism’ or ‘political commentator’ etc. An example: what has Assange, Snowden or some Russell Brand have done to promote self-responsibility? Anyone? Anything? No, hence I don’t buy any of the ‘roles’ they suppose in the system and even if they were ‘for real,’ I still get no life changing realization from what they revealed or say or are paid to say to perpetuate the idea of change through ‘revolutions’ and so forth. Well, this is an example of why Self-Responsibility isn’t being promoted on your TV as ‘Revolution,’ and this is why I consider it of utmost importance to stop seeking for culprits, to stop seeing ‘the elite’ as the problem, to stop seeking any form of revenge but instead, to start focusing on what I can do/ what I can direct, where and how can I stop the same patterns from reoccurring within myself.

 

Well I was on my way to become that, always complaining, always blaming, always getting angry, frustrated only to then seek to get ‘lost’ for a while so that I would not have to think further about why everything seemed so wrong in this world. Well, I missed the point all along: myself. I was the one perpetuating this internal war. Let’s look at it this way:  was I ever in fact talking to these people I blamed for ‘all the bad things in the world’ to actually dis-cuss the points I saw in them? No. Was I ever in fact looking at the structural problem, investigating the root and the cause of it and seeing how we are all co-participants in it? No. Was I ever genuinely intending to become part of the system then to be a participant that would direct things with common sense and self-responsibility from within the system? No, I did the opposite in fact until I also got sick and tired of being bitter and angry at the world. By my inherent desire to find some other ‘answer to life’ I discovered Desteni and started my process of Taking Self Responsibility, and I must say that this point of seeing myself as the point that has created such inner war was a hard one for me to grasp, just because of how much I had defined myself according to my own victimization, my own so-called ‘oppression’ and being ‘wronged’ by others –  but at the same time, it became the most humbling as well which I continue to be grateful for so that I can as I did today realize my ‘tantrum’ and ‘b-lameful character’ I become when blaming others for ‘things going wrong.’

 

Another example: when I think of ‘people in power’ I see nothing else but players within the same game I have also been an equal participant in. I don’t ‘feel’ hatred or anger as I used to and I probably have taken for granted such a change within me. I still have to work on myself on remaining stable and self-responsible when witnessing some kind of physical abuse in front of me or in my environment – and in this realizing that there is abuse going on in this world every single second and that if I was aware of it in fact as what’s going on within self, then I would never cease to be angry or about to explode for each point of abuse. I’ve realized my emotions do Nothing to solve the problem, but only perpetuate it. An example, I have walked a process of self-forgiveness about hatred to the church because I harbored so much hatred that it became something irrational, something I would just recreate even by passing by every church and till this day it is  something to still remind myself it’s just bricks and stones and not to judge the people in it or the priests at the top: we have all co-created this so I take responsibility for myself and ensure I do not perpetuate the separation through reacting emotionally about something or someone.  

I could not get the image of the inquisition instruments of torture out of my head for a long time and I could not fathom how such evil could exist within humans, and how ‘evil’ they must have been to do that to another human being… little did I know about the actuality of our nature, which has never been something nice or benevolent and how this is in fact not something I like to repeat to myself to ‘punish me’ or ‘blame me’ – not at all, it is about an understanding, it is about a ‘greater truth’ as the evidence of what is here that has enabled me to make sense of everything that I saw as the utmost horror and evil in this world, it allowed me to face myself, the nature of self. Till this day, hearing about the most atrocious forms of torture, imprisonment, abuse and decay is a test for me to not blame, to not go into anger, to remind myself that this Is the abuse that I am also a part of by virtue of being in this world and that by me creating an emotion about it, I am in fact not supporting anyone or anything to realize our responsibility within it all, to understand how we’ve come to create the results we have today in our reality and to be able to forgive ourselves for we didn’t know what the hell we were doing to ourselves/each other/self all along.

Another aspect that I support myself with is realizing that I would have probably done the exact same thing that ‘the most evil people’ in the world have done if I had been born in their shoes, lived their lives, walked their education or the lack thereof, the abuses onto them and so realize that the evil in this world is nothing else but the result of a multi-generational process of abuse toward each other, in absolute separation and ignoring the fact that any abuse imposed onto another: is abuse imposed onto self.

 

 

This is how when investigating and understanding more about the reality we live in, and whenever I see myself wanting to go into victimization, it is a point to remind myself that there I am wanting to throw my hands up in the air and believe I am powerless to do anything. Those are the moments to really not allow myself to even create one further thought of judgment toward others based on what I believe/know or assume they have done wrong or any ‘evil’ doing, and wanting to blame them for the state of affairs in this world. In fact I feel nothing these days toward ‘them’ but mostly it  all comes back as the realization of all the work that we must get done if we want to in fact be genuinely experience the potential that we are as life, which has been constantly obliterated every time that we only sought our personal glory, power and benefit.

 

So this point of self-responsibility in the form of the golden rule as Taking it all Back to Self is one of the most useful reminders in my process. With it I prevent myself from seeing others as the cause of ANY experience within myself, no matter how much I can see them as the culprits, the wrong doers, the evil ones etc.: by virtue of existing in this same planet, by virtue of being a human being, by virtue of me being able to point out what’s wrong = I am an equal participant and as such, I have to stop creating further experiences toward ‘them,’ I have to stop expecting others to change so that I can change, I have to stop believing that ‘they are doing this to me’ –  I stop myself from going into blame or holding a grudge against others, harboring hatred or plain rejection toward others as I see and realize that those emotions and experiences are only my own and I am not doing anything in fact to solve the problem and situation by getting angry.

 

Have I fully changed this at a personal level? Not to the absolute. I still get mad at times when I perceive people are being abusive, irresponsible or careless , mostly in my environment, things I can see around me which is then also according to what I am aware of. In this I commit myself to be diligently self-aware to ensure I do not allow myself to justify my reactions toward something/someone and instead ensure that I take absolute self-responsibility for myself, prevent my own reactions as I see and realize that any experience I create toward another is in fact anger toward myself for what I am accepting and allowing to exist within/as me, and that these emotions will get me nowhere, so I rather focus on being able to live here, in the physical stability of myself as breath and instead become an actual living example of what it means to live self-responsibility in this world, our creation and reality.  

 

5.       Living the principle of Self Responsibility – realizing only I am responsible for what I accept and allow inside of me, my relationships and my outside world and so with this responsibility: only I have the power and ability to change that which I see is compromising who I am, what I live and how this affects others

 

 

To learn more about Self-Responsibility and the golden rule of ‘Taking it All Back to Self’

 

Desteni

Desteni Articles

Destonians

Desteni Lite Process

Desteni I Process

Agreement/Redefining Relationship Course

Desteni Forum

Desteni Wiki

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Creation’s Journey to Life

Heaven’s Journey To Life

7 Year Journey To Life Process

344. Integrity in Equal Money

 

“It is Essential that Human Integrity as Life Equal be Restored as the Fundamental Rule of Law in this World. Call Out Those that protect Inequality, Become Politically Wise – Install a New Government, through Democracy and Re-Educate the Abusers of Life; in the same way they now keep Millions in the Chains of Inequality – ‘till they Repent and Show through their Actions that they Also Care about Life.”
– Bernard Poolman

 

Continuing:

• 332. Word Policy in Equal Money Capitalism
• 331. What is Best for All in Equal Money Capitalism
• 333. Life = Money in Equal Money Capitalism
• 334. Equality in Equal Money Capitalism
• 335. Money in Equal Money Capitalism
• 336. Self Responsibility in Equal Money Capitalism
• 337. Common Sense and Equal Money Capitalism
• 338. What is Equal Money Capitalism?
• 339. Value in Equal Money
• 340. The Imposition of the Symbols of Power
• 341. Why don’t We Get Rid of Money in Equal Money?
• 342.Monetary System in Equal Money Capitalism
• 343. How are We Going to Change the System to Equal Money?

 

 

 

Problem                                                                

“We’ve become dependent on fear as a survival instinct and so actually fear commonsense and integrity as it is experienced/believed to be a ‘weakness’ – you have to live in fear in order to survive as the law in the matrix goes” – Sunette Spies

 

• The result of our abdication of self responsibility to the laws and mechanisms in which our physical reality visibly operates is expressed in the current organizations and institutions that we have become so ashamed of and continuously complain about, which are the  product of our primordial disregard of ourselves being one and the same organism that is subject to physical laws that enable life to exist. Instead, we created these external entities to become the deposits of our rights that we signed off when agreeing to become part of a system wherein money as our creation meant our ‘indebted access’ to have a dignified living. This means that we lost our integrity the moment that we placed ourselves to be subject to laws that were never equated to guard and ensure a constitution of life in Equality.

 

“You are in this World, because: You Have No Responsibility, No Integrity and because you have Never Cared about Life in the Universe throughout All Time. You are, in a way, in a Prison. A Prison you created for yourself. You’re Not Going to Get out of This one…not here or in the hereafter without facing consequence, taking responsibility for it and changing for oneself and so for all as self.” – Bernard Poolman 

 

• What we face as our current world system is the product and manifestation of our abdication to Life in Equality. What does this mean? That the same system of oppression, or scarcity, of lies, of corruption, of hierarchical structures and imposition of power to generate fear is in fact the mirror of every single relationship that we formed in self interest, seeking for our individual benefit only in separation of ourselves as one and equal. This means that the imposition of ourselves as our Ego, our Mind, our Personalities, our Preferences, our Opinions, our Thoughts, our Emotions and Feelings, our Desires over the Physical matter is what became and exists now as the violation of our own ‘right to life’ where no Self Respect toward ourselves, toward the life that is here as ourselves and in the various Life Forms exists – instead  we have turned each other and this world into assets for our benefit and indiscriminate consumption. Life after life we have lived throughout generations guarding these interests as laws that we enforced to every single child born into our world without a question.

 

• We made of our so-called Free Will and Free Choice that individual ‘course of action’ that determined the ability to abuse one another through the acceptance and allowance of self-interest, superiority and personal satisfaction of security and power over the common well being. Every single word that we have used to denigrate or deify something or someone became the symbols of power that we imposed onto ourselves as a sign of our Inability to See what is Real and Live according to it.

  All the suffering, harm and abuse  as the result  disintegration became a reality when  we imposed meanings, values as experiences over matter and made ourselves subject to it, instead of doing the process the other way around: ourselves becoming the direct beneficiaries of every single word thought and lived as a result of an understanding of ourselves as creators of our reality through the values imposed onto matter and experiences at a mind level, disregarding the physical laws and considerations wherein clearly no spec of matter has been regarded as equal, instead it has been always gauged according to the system of values that serves the Human Mind, the Human Nature that became the accepted and allowed behavior of ourselves as species, indoctrinating every individual to integrate the same patterns generation after generation, wherein some symbols became our gods – like money – and some others became the experiences in which we all got ‘lost’ and confused while missing physical reality, and dare it to call it our ‘human nature’ such as our desire to win, our desire to have more than others, our rejoice in emotions or feelings and any other mind activity that is never evident as an integral part of our physicality, because it is only existent at a mind level, as our creation.

 

• What we regarded as ‘Our Human Nature’ in the form of emotions and feelings became the greatest distractor and consent enter-tamement to not question the laws, the rules, the systems in which we’re living in, but instead merely complied to them as a sign of ‘resignation’ because no one else seemed to be noticing how inherently flawed and wrong the system is, no one dared to question the abuse, the suffering, the poverty, the absolute madness and absurdity of how we bound ourselves to a system of values where money became an abstraction that contains the value of our work to obtain what we require to live – a giving and receiving in separation of an integral equality process, instead we became the embodiments of a an unequal relationship between what dictates in our minds and what our body requires to exist. Therefore it is through our very own laws and belief systems that we enslaved ourselves to what we believed in our minds is real, ignoring physical reality evidence of such facts being true as an inherent part of the matter and the physical.

 

• Our integrity has been non existent from the moment we give our power away as the breath of life to exist in multiple ‘states of mind’ leading ourselves to feel ‘superior’ or ‘inferior’ to the physicality that we are, which is clearly indicating that we’ve always lived in a continuous separation from the integrity of our physical body that is as constant and consistency as the physicality that is nurtured and reconstituted in every singe breath that we take.

 

• Our political system, our monetary system, our economy, our social structures denote the exact opposite of this physical relationship of equality and oneness that we could hold as ourselves and toward one another. This is the physical integrity that we have lacked in our words, which became our laws and eventual authorities wherein we created fictional entities to take care after ourselves. We created our kings, our policemen, our judges, our monetary system, our politicians, because they all represent the violation of our individual right to life in Self Responsibility.

 

 

Solution                                                              

“Integrity and Standing in Reality is Not Determined by a ‘Piece of Paper.’” – Bernard Poolman

• Words that stand as the law of our being of Equality and Oneness, lived and applied as a physical consistency of the recognition of who we are as life are the key and way to ensure that we establish our individual an collective Integrity by our individual decision to live according to that which is best for all.

 

• The process of Self Forgiveness wherein we  take Self Responsibility for the Accepted and Allowed Mind-Nature as thoughts, emotions, feelings  that we have imposed onto ourselves as physical beings is the way to  establish our definitive integrity. This is for us to understand how we created relationships of self diminishment or self aggrandizement in self-interest, causing the tumor as an overgrowth  that indicates the violation of the physical matter of Equality. This Self Forgiveness Process is the key to understand our individual and collective participation in the current outcome we’re living in as our society and world system. This responsibility comes with immediate self-directive solutions that are understood and lived at an individual level to create and establish the Law of our Being in Equality.

 

• Money as the creation and manifestation of such system of self-abuse will also become the solution; this is within the principle of ‘Like Cures Like’ wherein we are determined to make of money a tool that represents this reintegration of Equality and equalize its function to our physical breathing, which means it will become a guaranteed giving and receiving of the resources we require to live, it is an insurance to maintain our physical integrity where all parts are equally supported, which will translate into an  integral society where relationships are formed in an interdependent manner, existing in a one and equal recognition of our responsibility to live. This implies absolute self directive principles to grant each other the right to live that is not ‘demanded,’ but instead founded and created through our collective ability to honor ourselves and each other as equals.

 

• Once that money ceases to exist as the driving force within our lives, actual integrity will emerge in our society which will create new forms of entertainment, of relationships, of social interactions that will be based on mutual support and understanding where no ‘hidden interests’ will exist in an attempt to harm or abuse for personal gain. This means that our ability to stop abuse will form part of our ability to construct this integrity as who we are: no abuse, no harm and no disregard will be accepted or allowed to exist.
  

Rewards                                                  

• Living Self-Integrity is the foundation of a fear-less society where each one’s words can be measured according to the actions lived that generate the Best Living condition for all.  It is the actual consideration, understanding and regard to guard each one’s well being as our own which will result in a mutual honor that has never before been existent in our society toward each part of ourselves as one and equal. 

 

• Self Honesty is the principle in which we recognize that our individual well being is founded upon our ability to respond and act in the best interest of all, which creates the relationships of self support, dignity, respect, compassion and consideration to one another once that we live in a world where another is seen as an equal part of ourselves and no longer someone to fear, abuse, extort or compete against.

 

• The living of our individual Integrity leads to generate the necessary foundation to establish Self Trust within ourselves and toward one another to ensure that no matter where we are, what we say and the decisions we make, we are always acting according to that which is best for all which is the manifestation and living practicality of what Love and Honor should be. This is the key to manifest a heaven on Earth but for that, we have to establish our Self Honesty and Self Forgiveness first – this is the Individual process we’re walking and invite you to participate within the understanding that Education is the first step to understand where, how and why we separated ourselves from life.

 

Education is Available here:

• Desteni

• Desteni Lite Process – Free Online Course to Learn how to become part of the Solutions presented here

• Desteni Forum

• Visit the Group Capitalism vs. Equal Money group on Facebook.

• Read the Equal Money Wiki

• Read Economist’s Journey to Life

• For more about Self Education on Words, visit the Desteni Forum and Desteni I Process

• Read the 7 Year Journey To Life blogs

 

Blogs:

• 
  

  Day 345: The Internet is the Global Mind (Part Four)

 

Hear:

• 
  

  The Soul of Money

• Living in a World of our Own (Part 1) – Part 179

• Living in a World of our Own (Part 2) – Part 180

 

Vlog:

• How are We Going to Change the System to Equal Money?

• Why Can’t We Get Rid of Money?

• “Will Equality be Forced?”

153. Life is Beautiful when You Got Money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an experience toward people walking in a mall wherein everyone seemed to be very busy and ‘happy’ in consumerism, wherein I realized that I was also becoming a character wanting to deliberately give a message with my physical movements and gestures of ‘you are all deluded,’ without realizing that such people and what they are doing is no different to what I used to do in the past, with my very own consumerist fixations while being high on the rush of ‘we have money, let’s buy the stuff that I want.’

When and as I see myself creating a deliberate stance of superiority based on diminishing all people in a mall as ‘brainless consumerist drones’ – I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am becoming only a character that is judging and opposing beings based on ‘who I am’ in my  mind/ ego/ past in such moment instead of being here unconditionally as breath, not determining who I am according to a building/ people/ environment where things are bought and sold.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that ‘Life is beautiful when you got money’ as a way to create an experience of superiority upon others when seeing myself coexisting within an environment where the world seems to be reduced to endless rows of shops and people consuming/ buying as if that is what ‘having fun’ is supposed to be about. I realize that this is me judging a single building, with stores where people buy and sell stuff that they can afford with money or not. And that is just how we have created and fabricated our current reality and within this, there is no point to judge other than seeing how a point like a mall exists within the context of our entire current world system, wherein money defines who is able to have such type of entertainment/ fun through buying/ consuming along with others on a Friday afternoon. 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pace myself around the mall, waiting for the rain to stop and wanting to present myself deliberately as someone that is Not there as ‘part of the whole consumerist/buying thing’ but out of going there for a sheer necessity in the moment, which is obviously linked to buying something as well – thus  I realize how I am only judging that which I obviously do in my every day living which is buying to consume and live, buying things that we eventually require as secondary points in our lives – and I see that I have judged this point of buying based on the amount of money that one has, wherein if I see myself having little to no money, the experience of separation toward people with lots of money is exacerbated as an inferiority that is transformed into contempt and general judgment toward ‘their lifestyles;’ and when I ever saw myself having sufficient money I could then create this experience of  ‘superiority’ based on me assessing being standing on an ‘equal-stance’ toward people that had money to buy and within this, creating this positive experience as well within me when going shopping/ buying as part of what I was taught should be our ‘fun time’ as family – for example – a decade ago.

 

When and as I see myself creating a general experience of criticism toward a particular environment wherein wealth/ money is all around and wanting to become the point that is there trying to ‘make a point’ of it all being just bullshit through how I behave and move myself around, I stop and I breathe.  I realize that we are all equally subsumed in this world system wherein buying/ consuming is part of our day to day living due to how we have condemned/ enslaved ourselves to only be able to eat, wear clothes, have proper services if we have enough money to buy it all. Thus

 

I commit myself to establish the Equal Money System to ensure that buying is no longer only a ‘positive experience’ linked to ‘having enough money’ to eat, buy and ‘have fun’ through buying secondary needs/ necessities, as I see and realize how we have created these labels onto stuff based on the amount of money as a price tag that we have imposed onto reality – thus there will be no more points of ‘luxury’ and ‘second needs’ but an actual informed decision to – first of all – produce that which is actually necessary and also cool to support our day to day living, and from there consumerism in itself will stop being ‘consumerism’ as a derogative term that it has become now within our current culture of money as positive experience – and instead, will become the single transaction of equal-money to get that which we require to live – being it first/ basic needs or that which we can call at the moment secondary needs, which will exist as products/ services that are in accordance to a genuine living-expression, which is the basic principle upon which products and services will exist in the Equal Money System.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge all things in stores as pretentious bullshit and unnecessary variety, without realizing how I have been part of this world and accepted this desire to be unique, special, original as well, which is the origin point of how all that which we consume is extrapolated to ‘the most special/ the greatest/ the most original’ item that is promoted in such ways in order to make money out of it, which is what we have enslaved ourselves to: a monetary system that requires to create ‘new needs’ in order to continue buying/ consuming and as such maintaining the flow of money as a currency/ current that is based upon abuse of this physical reality for our own benefit and pleasure.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from any being there by silently judging them as ‘oblivious to reality’ due to being there, having money to buy and ‘have fun,’ which can only exist if I have judged money, buying, fun according to knowledge and information of how there are ‘billions of people that can’t experience the shopping-high’ without realizing that in such moment of me judging the whole event and moment is doing nothing at all to solve the problem that money as a disparity in living conditions have created in our world, due to our own accepted and allowed separation from what is here through money, creating an entire value-system/ scheme to categorize people according to the amount of money they have/ don’t have – and accordingly, ‘live’ a life of happiness and satisfaction when there’s more than enough money to buy or the inequality existent as poverty when having no money to buy and sustain themselves properly

 

When and as I see myself judging people that have money as oblivious to reality because of the security that money represents, I stop and I breathe – I realize that judging does nothing but adding up to the separation from the physical reality that we have abused because of another mind-created desire to ‘be more’ which is what I become in my mind when creating an authority of ‘judging people with money’ in a superior mode, without realizing that we are ALL equally participants and creators of All that exist, and that it is then to stop all judgments and walk in the physical no matter what the scenario is, no matter what ‘types of people’ are around, as I see and realize that all these variations and definitions toward a physical environment/ people are based on the effect that we have all duped ourselves with as money, which enables to create either a better picture presentation from/ of our reality or not.

Thus it is to see how the moment that we judge something that is ‘over the top’ from the social standard of ‘normal living’ and existing in/as an excess of wealth is simply something useless to do, as it is not to judge reality, but understand what are the actual origins that lead to the creation of such places and forms of ‘living’ as humans, wherein we have separated ourselves from the physical-cycles of life and artificialized it into a system that is sustainable only according to rules and regulations that we are currently existing as our capitalist system.

I commit myself thus to within stopping judging reality, simply observe what is here and without ‘backchat’ instead take note of the points that I observe in order to realize how we are all creators of such points, what deficiencies exist within the entire system to enable polarized versions of reality to the extent where some live in the utmost wealth and opulence while other live in the worst poverty and starvation that is possible to ‘exist as’ within this world – how we have all agreed to continue living in a system wherein life is not equally valued, but only reduced to a consuming system that is available for some only, while the Earth is giving all that is here without a single ‘bill’ to be paid for.

 

This is how I assist and support myself to transform any judgment toward the world system and reality to take it back to self and see where and how we have all created, accepted and allowed the current system to move/ exist as it does now, and within this also at an individual level identify how such judgments can only exist if I had formed a previous relationship to such – in this case – wealth, money and ability to buy everything that I could possibly want, which has obviously existed within me in my past wherein I also learned that shopping and consuming is a  positive experience and a ‘must do’ when one has more than enough money to live.

There’s multiple aspects and dimensions of judging a point that we see ourselves being ‘vexed’/ bothered by, which can  only exist if we have created a relationship of separation toward it, that’s why and how we see ourselves often judging everything and everyone in our world, because everything that we have become is that: separation. And as long as we continue accepting such judgment as a way to cover up the responsibility we hold toward the creation of this entire system, we’ll remain as judgmental victims of our own self-created hell, and I am not willing to continue diminishing ourselves to being ‘only that.’

Thus I commit myself to take responsibility for myself, my actions, words and attitudes, being very aware of how I present myself in any given place/ situation and not ‘adapt’ myself to create any point of resistance or physical judgmental behavior toward that which I perceive as living in the saying ‘Ignorance is bliss,’ as all we had lived as and by as humans is just that, we’re barely beginning to wake up and open our eyes to the extent of abuse that we have imposed onto ourselves and all living beings, just because of seeking this point of happiness.

There’s more to look at here, definitely.

Join us in our Journey to Life to take responsibility for ourselves, our world and reality and support each other the way that it always should have been from the beginning of who we are as existence.

 

Desteni

Desteni Forum

Desteni I Process 

Equal Money System

Economist’s Journey To Life 

 

Blogs:

Thought Designs – Part 1: DAY 153

DAY 153: After Death Communication – Part 3

 

Interviews:

Recommended Education about the World System of Money and the relationship to ourselves as the Mind and the Physical Reality:

• The Soul of Money – The Oneness and Consequence of the Existential Bodies – Part 35

• The Soul of Money – How Money thrive from Personality Evolution – Part 33

 

Consumerism explained in this series:

• The Consciousness of the Frog – Part 1

Further support:

• Reptilians – The Human Picture – Part 25

• Life Review – My Life as a Billionaire

• Life Review – Comparison, Judgment and Competition

152. Human Race Embarrassment: Shame on Us

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use embarrassment as an emotion and thinking pattern to dissociate myself from that which I see and create an experience toward it in an attempt to separate myself from others and deny that ‘I am them as well,’ which has been a pattern throughout my life to do ‘everything I can’ to be unlinked to anyone that I have deemed as too embarrassing and barbaric to even realize they are a part of that which is here as humanity, the race of beings that I am also a part of.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an emotional experience toward the actions, thoughts, words and deeds of fellow human beings as points of abuse toward oneself/ another/ the animal kingdom/ the Earth itself, without realizing how with me thinking and judging ourselves as humanity I am in fact only reinforcing the same systematic abuse wherein ‘who we are’ is reduced to only knowledge and information that I have separated myself from as pictures, images, thoughts, attitudes, habits that we have diminished ourselves when acting out/ living through a limited ‘frame of reality’ that we have established as ‘who we are,’ daring to even compare/ rate/ value/ regard everyone and everything in separation of ourselves.

 

When and as  I see myself experiencing embarrassment upon viewing/ hearing/ reading/ witnessing a human beings’ actions and words in/ as a point of abuse toward oneself, I stop and I breathe. I realize that me judging another through my mind is an equally abusive point that in no way assists and supports the being to realize the point of separation that’s being created and acted upon through the dictatorship of the mind that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become.

 

I realize that as long as I continue reinforcing an experience toward witnessing/ viewing/ hearing/ getting to know of a point of abuse that we as human beings have perpetrated against fellow human beings, the animal kingdom and our reality, it means that I haven’t unconditionally let go/ forgiven myself for what I have accepted and allowed to exist as ourselves, as individuals  that have used the mind to separate ourselves further and further from the actuality of who we are, from any relationship of ourselves toward ourselves, fellow beings, as we can only exist within the mind-frame of embarrassment/ shame as judgment that can only exist if I also reduce myself to only being and becoming an emotional experience of embarrassments as ‘who I am’ in the moment.

Thus, I commit myself to stop supporting any form of judgment/backchat/ gossip about and toward any being that is acting out/ living a point of self-abuse, as I see and realize that me judging makes no difference to ‘them’ and instead, only reinforces ‘my’ individual perspective as a point of separation in the form of an experience created through thoughts in my mind of shame and embarrassment, which can only exist if one exists as thoughts, emotions and feelings to create an idea of myself being ‘correct’ as in being superior/ better than the other part that is being judged – I instead assist and support myself to self forgive the point of separation and walk as breath to ensure that I stop supporting any form of separation through assessing ‘who I am’ as the mind and instead, equalize myself as the physicality that is here through breathing.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand shame as a point that I can use as a way to see how unconditional self forgiveness is the point wherein I can absolutely let go of the judgment toward any and all parts that I have separated myself from and instead, assist and support myself to ensure stopping patterns of recrimination and inferiority exerted toward others within/ through thinking, which is in itself an activity that we have accepted and allowed as ‘normal’ without realizing that: as long as we think, here are not Here as the physical moment of breath and instead we’re only separating ourselves from each other as the actuality of who we really are.

(Read Heaven’s Journey To Life blog for more: Thought Designs – Introduction: DAY 152)

 

When and as I see myself existing as shame and embarrassment toward ourselves as human beings upon hearing, watching, witnessing or reading about the abuse that we have imposed and inflicted upon ourselves and this entire existence – I stop and I breathe – I realize the experiences of shame and embarrassment as ways to only care about ‘how I think others/ how I ‘feel’ about something and someone,’ which is only existent within Me at a thought level, which leads to further laxity toward our own thinking when viewing it as a ‘normal reaction upon abuse,’ and within this missing the actual point which is how through thinking we create our own possessions upon the physical as a continued form of self-abuse.

I realize that as long as I participate in any form of thinking and judging others in separation of myself, I am in fact not supporting them/ myself to realize a point of self-correction, but only deviate the point of responsibility that I hold toward myself as my own accepted and allowed participation in thoughts, feelings and emotions – thus

I commit myself to stop any emotional experience of embarrassment as an emotional experience created upon witnessing/ reading/ viewing a point of abuse toward oneself/ others in order to take responsibility for my own thoughts, my own participation in the mind as that is what I in fact am able to change/ direct and align to what is best for all. I realize that I cannot change another’s actions, thoughts, words, but I can only remain standing as an example of what is possible to be and become when we do not allow ourselves to be ‘driven’ by an experience in our minds and as such, unconditionally also let go of any point of judgment exerted toward others that triggered the experience within me, as I see and realize I am the starting point of such experience, not ‘them.’

 

Furthermore it is to realize how this embarrassment toward all the points we read in the news and in our day to day living experiences in reality when becoming aware of a point of abuse can instead be directed to ensure that we do not only remain as ‘victims’ and ‘judges’ of our reality, but instead take such points as demon.strations that we ensure we stop and take self responsibility for in any away within ourselves, as we see/ realize and understand that as long as we continue thinking, becoming emotional and creating further thoughts about something/ someone, we are only standing in an equal-manner to the mind possession/ point of abuse that is being judged; within this we can see how we as humanity tend to judge each other for the atrocities that are committed without understanding the source and origin of such abuse being one and the same within all individuals/ human beings that currently exist as the dissociation of the mind in relation to the physical, which once again brings the importance of getting to know ourselves as our mind, as the physical and as such, create a point of reference to see where and how we have separated ourselves from every part that is here through us ‘thinking’ reality instead of standing one and equal as it to actually see in fact and understand any point of abuse that is existent at the seemingly ‘innocent’ level of a thought.

It is time for us to look into ourselves at all times to see if what we say, think, act and participate in is an expression that we are willing to stand as for eternity – we are actively and practically walking our mind to establish a final directive point within ourselves within the principle of what is best for all, which cannot contain a point of judgment/ projected blame toward others as ‘the abusers’ for we would understand how any point of abuse is in fact self abuse as the mechanisms that allow such abuse are existent in each one of us as well, thus we are all equally responsible and that responsibility begins toward ourselves as our own mind.

 

Self Respect as the Living Realization of what this Process is about can be walked with individualized assistance and support to ensure that one in fact acts upon one’s own Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Application in one’s world and reality:

• Desteni I Process
• Visit the Desteni Forum 

Support the Equal Money System wherein the Value of Life will be restored as a Living Principle

 

 

Blogs:

• Thought Designs – Introduction: DAY 152
• Thought-Designs: Part 1

• DAY 152: After Death Communication – Part 2

• This is a Continuation of DAY 151

 

Further Support:

• Life Review – The ‘Taking this Personally’ Victim

• Life Review – Changing my Thoughts, Will Change Me

• The Soul of Money – The Oneness and Consequence of the Existential Bodies – Part 35

 

107. ‘If I don’t get enough attention, I stop sharing myself’

Attention Seeker’s Demise and Parental patterns of aloofness

A point of communication with parents is when we try and get their attention in one way or another, when we try and share ourselves and what we find is ‘meaningful’ as a way to spend some time with them. Expectations are built, the moment arrives and all one can be thinking about is ‘please let them like it, let them just for a moment stay calm and quiet, no phones ringing, no distracting chatters, just focusing for some minutes on this.’ However, once a pattern exists within the parent of, for example, being always ‘on a rush,’ there will be little to no patience to watch/ walk something that takes more than the 30 second attention span, eventually going away or finding any excuse to not remain in the moment. Children take it personally and from there a decision is made in anger and retaliation: ‘I swear I won’t ever share anything I do with him/ her/ them again.’ And so we grow up, keeping our stuff to ourselves in such victimized state from that one single moment where attention was not given as the child requested it.

This is a true-story and a repetitive pattern that I disclose here: a broken moment of communication where even words were not required to be expressed, but was just a moment of co-existence in the same room, watching a piece of film that had been recorded in means of slowing-down to reality. Yet existing in that point of expectation to ‘get their attention’ – in this case – my father’s and for him to not be impatient enough to watch this entire video; I essentially set the tone for what would end up being just another predictable ‘walk-out’ of the scene, which I took personally and once again confirming in my mind ‘I won’t share my ‘creative stuff’ with my parents again’ which became a safe way for me to not see how I also was wanting and desiring their attention the way that ‘I wanted it.’

It takes two to tango – however, a message to all parents is that if children are not supported in order to understand how not to take their actions/ reactions personally, consequences that can ensue from such walk-outs are a definitive crack in any form of incipient communication that could have been developing between the child and the father/ mother.

 

“I commit myself to SHOW that PARENTS in fact understand Nothing of PATTERNS and are the Root cause for All Suffering and Inequality on Earth.

I commit myself to SHOW that PARENTS are the PATTERNS that INFACT Create the CHARACTER of this WORLD.” – Bernard Poolman*

 

Self Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself for wanting to get someone’s attention to ‘see my stuff’ and in that moment already going into the fear of ‘they are not going to like it/ they will simply stand up and leave/ they will say they like it out of compromise’ and essentially self-sabotaging that single moment of inviting others to see something I’ve done with future projections of failing at getting their attention, which is how and why I have become resilient to share myself, in fear of not being ‘welcomed’ the way that I expected.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to share myself with the condition of ‘it must be praised/ liked/ revered’ by others, otherwise I won’t share it at all, wherein my sharing is not unconditional, but already expecting a positive experience and outcome out of it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see how the entire starting point of me ‘creating something’ is and had been mostly in order to show it and be able to be praised about it, or causing an experience within another, instead of allowing myself to just share it unconditionally, with no expectations toward it and a such not taking it personal or judging the fact that people can walk out, not say any feedback at all or simply dislike it and that is still okay, as a I cannot control the outcome and reactions that will be experienced in such moments.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create an expectation toward getting my father’s attention to watch a video that I made and believing that ‘he will love it’ and expecting the best case scenario from the get go mixed with fear of him just not getting to see the whole thing, standing up and leaving, which is what eventually happened – allowing me to then go into the victimized state of ‘he doesn’t want to see what I created’ and making a mental note of ‘not ever sharing anything with him again, he’s not interested,’ and within that severing a point of communication in terms of sharing what ‘I do’ with my parents, creating a rift toward my father and my own doings, deeming my stuff to be simply ‘not relevant’ for him which in a child’s mind translates into: I am not worthy of their attention/ I am not good enough/ entertaining enough for him to remain watching/ I should have done something different to capture his attention’ – which are all backchat statements based on thinking and believing that the problem was ‘me,’ when in fact the reason why he stood up and left is not based on ‘what I showed him,’ but his own personal decision to simply stand up and leave and within this

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it personal when someone stands up and leaves the room wherein I was showing them something and believing that I simply wasn’t good enough to capture their attention, without realizing it’s not about me or what I do, but a single decision the person made in that moment to leave.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel excited the moment that I was able to capture his attention wherein from this positive starting point, I try to keep the ‘excitement’ and positive attitude on top while actually feeling anxious and fearing that he simply won’t be able to stand/ go through the entire thing, and even thinking ‘if he doesn’t enjoy it, he’ll just stand up and leave,’ which became a reality at the end.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become fully stiff and anxious and nervous while he’s watching because of fearing that he’ll just stand up and leave, which had been a trademark of his, that I actually feared having to experience myself with my own work and sharing something with him.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to exist in such point of fear of ‘him leaving the room,’ and eventually manifesting it, confirming my own ‘future projections,’ without realizing how I simply had sentenced myself to my own words and supporting the co-creation of a moment wherein all I became was this ‘hope’ of him not leaving the room, eventually confirming that my hope was not a solution and that he ended up leaving the room anyways.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to get irritated at him for him standing up of the couch and beginning to arrange things, picking up the garbage and dusting off the cushions while the video is playing, only confirming what I was expecting him to do: standing up from the couch, finding something to do around while he plans to escape the scene/ room in a silent manner.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to exist as the fear ‘he’s not into it,’ and as such while being nervous and anxious about him eventually leaving, not being here breathing but only becoming this one point of hope and observance that is almost ensuring how things will unfold without having even gone through the actual events – yet eventually experimenting it as we are the ones that are creating our reality according to the words we accept and allow ourselves to exist as.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to go into a negative experience the moment that he left the room, feeling defeated and essentially declaring that I would give-up on any further attempt to get his attention on my work, which became a sentence that I realized I was in fact just saying out of spitefulness because I eventually realized I could have not taken the point personally.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to in that moment when seeing him leaving the room without saying anything, think ‘I won’t show him anything again,’ referring to my creative work and how I simply deemed in that moment that Nothing I would do would be of his interest, which was a rather all encompassing statement that in no way supports an actual realization of, first of all, not taking things personally and secondly assisting and supporting myself to see how I victimized myself there in that moment, holding on to the grudge of that memory, instead of working it with and explaining how I reacted, why I reacted and as such establish a proper communication that is not based only on short-sentences that generate an experience of ‘I am here’ and as such create bonds that in no way are of actual communication, but instead becomes another protocol type of communication that never really supports children to fully open up, because the father/ mother is not really ready to give its full to do so for their children.

 

Self Corrective statements:

When and as I see myself wanting to get someone’s attention to ‘see my stuff’ and in that moment already going into the fear of ‘they are not going to like it/ they will simply stand up and leave/ they will say they like it out of compromise’ and essentially self-sabotaging that single moment of inviting others to see something I’ve done with future projections of failing at getting their attention, which is how and why I have become resilient to share myself, in fear of not being ‘welcomed’ the way that I expected – I stop and I breathe, I realize that I am being conditional with me sharing myself wherein I am only seeking self-satisfaction as instant-gratification instead of sharing unconditionally without expecting anything in advance.

 

I realize that the only reason why I would want to get someone’s attention is because I haven’t allowed myself to give such attention to myself first, wherein then a negative experience and the choice of not sharing myself ever again comes as a spiteful mode for not having acquired the attention that I initially craved. Who I am as breath here is able to share without any drive of self-interest nor an expectation waiting to be fulfilled – who I am is constant here as the interaction that is able to be directed here as breath without any mind-interference of self interest.

 

When and as I see myself creating a positive experience when I do get people’s attention toward what I am doing, I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is me just satisfying the attention seeker character that would have reacted in the opposite manner if such attention had not been given the way I expected – thus I see and realize how my beingness in the moment is/ was defined according to others, instead of me remaining constant and consistent without shifting into further mind-dimensions of self-interest.

 

When and as I see myself defining my starting point of creation according to creating a positive experience within me and within others, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am compromising myself within this very mechanism of positive experience upon expression wherein expression is no longer unconditional, but suiting a particular character that seeks energy as attention to keep existing.

 

When and as I see myself defining an entire point of interaction with another based on a ‘bad experience’ as defined by the ego of the mind in relation to not getting enough attention/ sufficient energy to continue a positive experience, I stop and I breathe – I realize that what I am defining as a point of separation or severing a relationship is in fact a spiteful action taken on by myself as the mind that will now go into the opposite polarity as the negative experience for not having gotten enough attention/ energy to keep a particular character – such as the attention seeker – running. Thus I allow myself to simply continue sharing myself unconditionally without wanting to ‘get’ an experience from another, but simply aligning myself to an equal and one physical stance wherein whether someone is interested in watching or not is not relevant any longer, as who I am is and can’t be defined according to other’s opinions, judgments and experiences created upon my own expression.

 

I assist and support myself to remain here as the physical breath whenever I share myself in any form with others, wherein I stop any expectations of either a positive or negative feedback as that clearly creates a point of expectation that is not required as all that I express myself as in the moment is what I am existing as in the moment – and that cannot be ‘good’ or ‘bad’ or ‘right’ or ‘wrong,’ but it’s a simple mirror and tool of self-reflection to get to know myself and as such support myself to See Me. If from this sharing others can support themselves as well in any aspect/ way = cool, yet it doesn’t define the point of expression in itself any longer.

 

When and as I see myself into the giving up mode of ‘I will never show anything to him/her/ them again’ I stop and I breathe. I realize that I am reacting according to not having fulfilled a character in my mind. Thus, I stop the self-victimization of deciding to ‘not share myself again’ and allow myself to share unconditionally that which I see assists and supports me – therefore I am the one that is responsible for the point of expression in order to reflect back on it and in self-honesty be able to decide whether this is in fact supporting me or not. I direct myself to self-forgive the moment or reaction if it emerges in the moment that another is not ‘paying attention’ to what I say/ do as I realize that this has been a reason for me to keep quiet/ become isolated, just because of thinking, believing and perceiving that just because someone did not want to hear me = no one ever will.

 

When and as I see myself feeling anxious and nervous upon wondering what others have to say in relation to something I created, I stop and I breathe – I realize that such anxiety is stemming from expecting either the worse or the best and as such keeping me in a friction and unnecessary expectation, without realizing that who I am here as every moment of breath does not require to be expecting the next moment with any experience, as it comes breath by breath – thus any further value given to words in separation of myself here as the physical body must be re-assessed to see how I have defined such words as positive assessment or negative assessment.

 

When and as I see myself going into a negative experience for someone remaining silent when I am sharing something, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I have associated silence with a negative input instead of realizing that being expecting something out of another is already placing a condition in me sharing myself – thus I simply allow myself to share in the moment, without any expectation – yet also ensuring that the message is clear and asking questions if pertinent about it, instead of just complying to the silence and creating backchat about it instead of directing it in the moment, facing what Is see and cross referencing it with the person/ people involved in such moment.

 

I realize that most of the problems and even wars in our world and reality have been built around misunderstandings that, because they were not clearly and directly spoken, they grew into major conflicts that were able to apparently only be solved through wars and further conflicts, without realizing that such misunderstanding could have in fact been talked through and arranged in a way wherein we are in fact able to come to an agreement of what’s best for all. This is thus speaking in general terms of communication and how silence or physical attitudes had become these ‘indicators’ of something not being ‘alright’ – however, we are the only ones that have decided what is alright and what is not alright according to worth and value of the mind, which is how we have made of our reality a polarized concoction of opinions fighting to get on top of each other, instead of considering the physical reality in common sense at all times, which actually simplifies the points to a self-evident correction that can only be neglected and/or deliberately denied if we are only willing to continue supporting the ‘who we are’ as mind systems of opinions, judgments, beliefs and experiences that in no way have supported life in Equality.

 

As a general suggestion it is to assess ourselves whenever we are sharing or being the ones on the receiver’s ‘end’ and check our reactions, if we go into a fidgety mode, or restlessness or plain mind judgment, to get ourselves back here in the physical wherein we can ‘come back to our senses’ and realize that we are in fact sharing a moment with another being that is sharing themselves unconditionally, and that us shoving away that opportunity to do so will create consequences not only within them but as a general statement of separation that we create in that moment stemming only from our own mind-limitation that in no way regards life in equality, but can only create such separation if there is a ego-perspective to defend, a mind’s desire to fulfill.

 

I assist and support me to walk my process and identify such moments in my day to day living, to ensure that I do not repeat this separation within me, nor do I become the one that denies or shoves away another’s expression in means of fulfilling the desires of the mind in the moment.

 

For further support:

Desteni Forum

Desteni I Process

Read our Journey to Life blogs to get to know Yourself as the mind and be able to stop the cycles of enslavement we’ve been carrying from the past in order to gift ourselves a fresh new start wherein we can finally consider each other as one.

 

 

Blogs to understand more about Parenting and the patterns that play out between parents and children:

• Mind-Energy Filters in Children – Part 2 (Self-Commitments): DAY 107

• *Day 107: The Ignorance of Intent

 

Interviews:

• 
  

  Atlanteans – The Mind-Beingness Mirror (Part 1) – Part 48

• 
  

  Atlanteans – The Mind-Beingness Mirror (Part 2) – Part 49

98. Words as Mind Control

datum 
n    noun (plural data) See also data.
1    a piece of information.
2    an assumption or premise from which inferences may be drawn.
3    a fixed starting point of a scale or operation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use words as a piece of information that I acquired as an ‘already given’/ already established association in order to name, validate the existence of and qualify something in separation of myself, without realizing that the moment that I am defining and naming something according to the association of image and symbol and sound, I accepted and allowed my own mind control wherein we packaged life into limited containers that we use to relate to ourselves and others – never really questioning to what extent we have limited ourselves just by the words/ data we use to communicate ourselves with.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not question why there are words denoting human aspects that are obviously detrimental to all, wherein words such as abuse, misuse, enslavement, power and control – to name just a few – became the way to accept and allow such imposition of energy upon life as the ‘moreness’ that can only exist when the individual is perceiving itself in separation from the whole, being able to apparently impose/ exert power over others through words; without realizing that everything that we think, speak and do is always toward ourselves as we are one and equal in fact.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to use words as immovable laws, wherein the most basic form of mind control exists as words and how we learn words within our family and school, wherein we are taught a specific image imprinted along with a specific sound and letters that become the arbitrary imposition as ‘given data’ that we as children simply have to comply in order to be able to communicate with others, without really questioning the nature of such words and their implication being of a nature that is always supportive and best for all. Instead, having to realize that the very grammar we use is already indicating that we Must have an experience toward words as nouns – people, things, animals – and as such, go shaping our ‘individuality’ according to what we accept and allow ourselves to believe are our ‘preferences’ our ‘likes and dislikes,’ which is nothing but information that I separated myself from, that I formed a special relationship with in separation from all other words in order to ‘make them my own,’ and a such become my own programmer as I went on throughout the days ensuring that I become that point of preference as a way to assert my ‘individuality’ as a character creating personalities and eventually sculpting the ego that I became when coming of age.

 

Within this, I realize that the moment we teach children words in separation of themselves and as a way to create their individuality in separation of the whole, we are in essence perpetuating the same system that has been based upon the abuse of life through words as a means to have ‘power’ over reality, never realizing to what extent this single mechanism of ‘education’ is in fact mind-programming to the detriment of children, because there is no awareness in and as words but only self-awareness in separation of the whole, using words to identify oneself in contrast and in comparison to the rest which is how the entire qualification as a means to generate polarization is created.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever be proud of the specificity with which I became ‘my personality’ based on the characters I allowed myself to script as myself through my writing, wherein I was actually quite conscious of how I could create my own stories through words, then become such words and embody myself as the character that I wanted to live as, no different to the stories I would read in books  – which means that I made of my life for a while nothing but a story that I programmed for myself in order to entertain me with my emotional and feeling experiences in relationships, just because of thinking that Life was all about becoming a special being with special events and people that could generate ‘a lot of material’ to work with at a later stage to be a writer.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from words wherein I saw myself frustrated with them but at the same time abusing them in order to reinforce the characters I was busy building wherein I never questioned the substance and essence of words as who I am, never questioning what is it that I am actually using/ misusing in order to ‘give life’ to the characters that I programmed into myself through my own participation in copying personalities, characters and archetypes that I embraced as a platform to create me, without ever questioning why we only have a limited set of role models in society wherein we ensure that we continue existing as the same characters throughout time, never questioning how we could in fact exist as physical beings in equality and oneness wherein words would no longer be used and abused as a means to divide people into personalities/ characters, but instead use words in order to recognize ourselves as others wherein instead of saying ‘I feel this/ I am this’ being able to incorporate others into our beingness in the moment ‘I am one with you as this/ I  am one and equal as you in…’ – wherein the very fact that we have to use more than one word to indicate a fuller meaning of who and what we are is already indicating that we had deliberately not wrought a word that could imply our oneness and equality as life, but instead, words were used as a way to separate, divide, individualize and specify the separation that we have become as characters and personalities that exist in contrast to one another, that oppose each other based on the self-configuration we have become in order to remain as ‘more than’ and ‘special’ at the eyes of others, which means that we never were really looking Inside ourselves, but only defined, shaped, molded and sculpted ourselves according to how we want to be Seen by others.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use words to judge wherein such words as adjectives being able to express a judgment about something/ someone is already a way to push throughout basic education the need to establish points of separation based on what we see, but never within the consideration of being judging everything and everyone that is also ourselves. In this,

 

I forgive myself that I had never accepted and allowed myself to question the very teaching of our language, and take it for granted simply because of giving to education and school a status of ‘untouchable’ and ‘unquestionable,’ which is precisely the way that we comply to story data throughout our education without really questioning how we are taking this information for granted, and how we are accepting it as ‘readily given,’ when in fact the reality is that it was just information passed on from generation to generation influenced and imprinted throughout time with all the experiences attached to such words, which means that we only learned to see words as points of self interest in order to suit our own ‘needs’ as everything that we could experience for our own benefit – either positive or negative, still same imposition – and never really questioning how it is that such words are not realized as the very manifestation of our accepted and allowed self-separation as one and equal.

“So I suggest you find-out why it is you’re unable to Actually Understand the ‘Desteni Message’, why is it that you’re unable to ‘See’ for Yourself – why is it that you Allow ‘Thoughts’ to ‘arise’ within-you and that you Search those ‘thoughts’ and you give them ‘names’ like ‘Kundalini’, trying to reach ‘great orgasmic experiences’, ‘fuelling’ a ‘Mind System’ – Great Dishonesty” – Bernard Poolman

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to learn that words as adjectives are here in order to judge another, without realizing that through being able to qualify something as positive or negative is already a form of imposition toward what is here, which is what language and words have become.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become an ‘avid reader’ simply because of being able to formulate (form-emulate) my own experiences in my own mind as a form of secret mind that no one else had to know about, that I didn’t have to share and that way, ‘live through others’ words’ in order to satisfy this belief of me becoming emotional and feeling as part of ‘who I am’ and human nature, wherein I deliberately cultivated such relationship to words themselves as a constant energy-kick that I would get when reading books.

 

I forgive myself that I never accepted and allowed myself to question what is it that I was really doing when reading books and how it is that I had made it ‘normal’ for me to live through reading others’ words instead of writing myself in a self supportive manner, because I see and realize that everything I would write about me was in essence wanting to emulate my life to the characters in a book , of which we have no actual understanding of how we are using and abusing ourselves in separation of one and other through words in order to establish a point of experience that only ‘I’ could experience as an exclusivity within my mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use words as means to create and validate my own ‘specialness’ wherein I would think that it was only ‘me, me, me’ that could experience such images, pictures and general beingness in a moment with a particular type of writing that I then became fond of in order o keep up this belief of myself as having a ‘special connection’ with the people that would write in a way that I wanted to be like, which means that I pushed myself to become that which I idolized, which is people that were proficient in writing, writing books, being able to have a proficient vocabulary, wherein I then began using words as currency in order to give myself ‘props’ in separation of myself as one and equal, because I / we as humanity deliberately neglected even daring to question the origin of words, as that would have implied being/ becoming aware of our absolute responsibility toward each other as the words awe speak.

 

Thus

 

I commit myself to walk this relationship toward words themselves as data that I had come to value as ‘more’ than myself and as such, becoming the manifestation of ego as the construction of words, being aware of existing as a quilt that I sew with bits from characters in order to create myself as the image/ idea and personality that I came to embody after having worked on my own words as a means to justify, ratify and demonstrate that ‘I in fact am this character because my words say so,’ which is an absolute form of self-righteousness wherein all that mattered within me was a set of definitions in separation of life, because I never ever even considered life within and as words.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to establish myself as the ‘controller’ in my reality through the very data I accepted and allowed as myself, as something ‘real’ as ‘the real me’ that I had constructed throughout time through everything I could grab from the media, from people in my reality and as such, become my own architect in a deliberate way without ever realizing how through taking this vantage point of being ‘above’ others and reality through using words that indicate comparatives and superlatives is the essence of mind control to promote individuality as a moreness of ourselves here, instead of promoting a way of being able to live as individuals that regard each other as equals as life.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become an energy junky as in pushing myself to create ‘the most emotional and feeling experiences’ out of just reading words on paper, which indicates to what extent we have separated ourselves from the physical reality wherein we decided to use words in order to generate a positive experience within ourselves that in no way had an actual relationship to ourselves in the moment, which is what makes books so ‘appealing’ to people – yet we have covered up such vicarious atonement with our own justifications toward books as ‘culture’ and ‘education,’ never pondering what is it that we were really in fact valuing and why.

 

I forgive myself that I never accepted and allowed myself to even consider or conceive that there could be another way to express myself in consideration of others as myself, because such consideration was never taught or given as a particular word in itself, which indicates to what extent we have become so used to only seeing ourselves in separation of each other as characters in ‘books of life’ with prescribed life experiences that we came to simply believe is ‘who we are’ and walk it from the womb till the grave without ever really taking such fleeting moments of questioning myself, my who I am as words beyond the accepted and allowed ‘norms’ that were prescribed in order to keep ourselves blind and not taking into consideration that we are in fact pronouncing (pro-enouncing) ourselves as subjects of our own intellect and that every word that I speak as a sentence of myself about others is invariably always about myself in reality.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that the moment I am pronouncing words about something/ someone or myself I am already making a decision of who I am in that moment, which implies that

 

When and as I see myself pronouncing words, I stop and I breathe – I realize that every single words that I will be pronouncing as an expression of who I am in that very moment is and will be communicating and expressing the decision of who I am in that moment; thus I align my words to an equal and one starting point to ensure words do not become again the very polarity holders of our reality, the very separators that perpetuate an abuse that is and will always be self-abuse.

 

 

“Jesus said: ‘Judge not, lest ye be judged’ –because you will-only ‘Judge’ that which you have Done-Yourself –you can only ‘Speak- it’ because you’ve ‘Done-it’, which is why Self-Forgiveness is Relevant” – Bernard Poolman *

*

“This ‘Reality’ and as-it Exist now is your ‘Real Nature’ – is ‘the Truth’ about you = You have Created this As your Mind. ‘Stop’ all of-that and start to consider ‘What is Best Equally for All Physical-Beings in this Reality’ – and then you’ll-find ‘Heaven will-be on Earth’ – and then you will-find ‘you Love your Neighbour’ –and then you’ll find why doing ‘What’s Best for All’ that everyone will-do ‘What’s Best for All’ – it is-Not a very ‘giant leap’, it requires ‘No-Faith’ = it Requires CommonSense”
– Bernard Poolman

For more specific support on learning who we are and what we have become in relation to words: Desteni I Process

 

Matrix words 2009

Interviews to get a never-be

fore explained approach toward words in our reality:

• 
  

  Reptilians – Language: the Sceptre of Creation (Part 1) – Part 70

• Reptilians – Language: the Sceptre of Creation (Part 2) – Part 71

• 
  

  Reptilians – How Language Substantiates the Mind (Part 1) – Part 72

• Reptilians – How Language Substantiates the Mind (Part 2) – Part 73

• The Secret History of the Universe – Internalizing the External Mirror of Existence Ourselves – Part 8

• The universe and diversity

 

*Interview by Bernard Poolman:

Interviews from the Farm 38: Special Feelings

 

Blogs:

Childhood Imagination Creating Characters: DAY 98

Day 98: Humanity is ONE BODY, ONE LIFE

 

Previous entries on words:

• 97. Words as Elitism
• 96. Words that maketh murder

Day 60: Femme Fatale

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a gender definition have power over life through participating in self-definitions based on being a ‘female’ or ‘male’ and perpetuating the games of self-interest that both females and males participate in, wherein all that matters is ‘winning’ as the strongest sex/ gender, and in this neglecting everything and everyone else in reality that is suffering the consequences of us, human beings, being very busy and preoccupied only satisfying our power-games which create a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ experience within ourselves, which is in fact a spiteful game against life.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to take ‘pride’ in being a female due to recognizing this ‘energetic power’ over males  (Read ‘supervixen’ for further context on that.)

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link ‘femininity’ with power over males

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that because I am a woman, I must be desired by all males

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to program myself to be a woman that uses her ‘power’ in order to lure men into a point of attraction due to the power that this implies as an experience within me

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to see women as powerful for the ‘energetic presence’ that they impose anywhere they are, without ever realizing that with me complying to this belief, I was giving permission – accepting and allowing – the existence of the energetic presence that a female expression and a male expression have, wherein the female is the ‘positive’ energetic manifestation and the male is the ‘negative’ energetic manifestation, which is how I now realize that the power that I saw myself endowed with was in fact nothing else but an energetic presence that I diminished myself to as a form of power within me, within the realization that males would be usually following behind females like ‘dogs behind bones,’ which implies a very specific way of defining the relationship that I defined between males and females

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep males as ‘followers of a female’s flesh’ and nothing else, which is a despicable way to generalize human beings according to a particular gender, wherein I was confirming their energetic-stance and the apparent ‘power’ that females had as such ‘vibrant expression’ and ‘glowing aura’ which was actually and in fact part of the manifestation of who we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become as males an females in this reality. To understand this, read the Heaven’s Journey To Life blog  The Energy of Adam and Eve: DAY 58

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ‘shape’ my personality according to the stereotypes of women that could be tagged as ‘femme fatale’ due to the power that I saw they had toward males, wherein they were able to have males ‘at their feet’ and treat them like scum and still ‘have them at their feet,’ within this, creating an absolute point of inequality and abuse that stems from actual vindication of the perceived ‘weakness’ that is commonly associated with women, without ever questioning why both weakness and strength had to define a gender in the first place and why could they not be equal.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to deliberately play games to tantalize men and get a kick out of it, meaning, getting a sense of empowerment every time that I knew I could simply vex them and bother them,  even piss them off deliberately but they could not hit me back or offend me back because ‘I am a woman and cannot be hit/ offended’ because of the stereotypes in society that I used to my benefit, wherein I would feel offended and even angry whenever women were portrayed as ‘weak’ and ‘powerless’ and ‘delicate’ – yet use this delicacy and inferiority in order to protect me from being at the same level of males and within that, protecting me from being done the same onto me that I would do onto males, just for fun.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to deliberately create a stance toward males of strength and superiority due to being covering up and making-up for the usual perceived idea of the feeble, sensitive and weak females as the concepts that are usually accepted and allowed in society, wherein I would then equalize myself to the ‘male stance’ Yet, wanting to keep my privilege of ‘being  a female that can’t be touched/ hit back’ by males.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be a feminist for a while in my life, just because of me perceiving that we were in fact ‘more powerful’ than males and that we had been deliberately disempowered throughout history, satanized and even burnt like witches whenever this ‘charm’ would tantalize too many males, which means that my stance of ‘strength’ as a female, was not in any way who I really am, but just a cover up to the history of women/ females in history and me trying to make up for it by creating the opposite polarity within me, without considering that in doing this, I was in fact simply confirming that we were in fact either weak or more powerful, both points equally defined by ‘who we are’ as energy, and not as the physicality and physical reality that we are as females and males as physical bodies.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create my personality, myself, my self-experience as a mind that is perceiving herself to be ‘more than males’ and having ‘power over males’ and equally powerful to males, which is in its overall starting point a defense mechanism to the historical prejudices that have been adjudicated toward females as weak, powerless, voice less, submissive and ‘behind the male,’ of which I saw myself as the ‘savior’ from continuing such image of females within that past stereotype of inferiority against the males.

 

I see and realize that all of these personalities and overall power-games that I played in my mind were based on polarities of being over and below the male figure as either strong/ weak according to how I wanted to place myself ‘as a female’ in a position of power over males, which means that I gave permission and continuation to the current state that we are living in/ as humanity where both genders signify the basic point of separation between human beings that should regard the physical equality and oneness and stop any form of power-games at energetic levels, that only perpetuate the mind system’s energy outflows that we cannot even see or be aware of the consequences we are creating every time that we accept and allow ourselves to play either the weak or strong sex/ gender in society as either male or female.

 

I realize that even though I have been aware of the point of Equality and Oneness, there are points that are embedded at a physical level due to how I have programmed myself throughout my teenage years, watching females on TV and in the music industry that represented ‘all that I wanted to be’ which is the woman having power over males but from the starting point of having felt subject to ‘the male dominance’ in society.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to identify with lyrics, books and anything that would speak about females being these magnificent beings that had nothing to do with the more mechanical and savage males that only sought females for flesh, without realizing that in such identification, I was becoming part of the usual separation between genders as a way to perpetuate the power games that are currently escalating toward the empowerment of females by making males ‘inferior’ and using sex as a way to reinforce the patterns of dominance and submission that escalate to the current hierarchical state of the world in absolute inequality.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to actually get trapped in power games and having to keep this personality as self-definition based on the gender that I am, without actually being aware of how this only kept myself occupied within my mind, ensuing separation from the realization that who I really am is and exists here as the physical, that doesn’t require to be constantly fighting against/ outdoing the ‘counterpart’ as the male, in means of perpetuating a sense of power and superiority, which would create a ‘good experience’ within myself, in this forgetting about the rest of the world that is in fact the consequence of us having accepted and allowed energy as a point of self-definition/ self-limitation within hierarchical values that are used only to perpetuate the system of abuse of Life, and in that: we are all responsible just by playing out the usual female-male power games of attraction, seduction and eventual engagement as energetic relationships that were in no way based on the consideration of Life in Equality, as the physicality that we are in fact as human beings.

 

I commit myself to stop any inner-experience of ‘being a female’ and equating this to ‘feeling powerful’ and ‘having power over males’ specifically, as this is only playing out the counter act to what I had perceived as female weakness and feebleness that in no way consider the stability and physicality of who we are as physical beings, but only regard the energetic presence that is the very system that has transformed life into a mere energetic fix that we have all been participants of throughout human history.

 

I commit myself to stop the personalities that I acquired from people in popular cultures, specifically women that portrayed themselves as ‘femme fatale’ and in that, debunking my own ‘superiority stance’ toward males to equalize myself as any living being in the consideration of life and physicality, and not gender and energetic power-games that would define a relationship between a male and a female.

 

I realize that this is the primordial point of physical separation as human beings that we exist as, due to our physical bodies being different – however, this does not mean that one is ‘more’ than the other and it is thus our responsibility to, for once and for all, stop all attempts to vindicate females as ‘more’ or ‘less’ than males – and vice versa – in order to establish one single principle that guides the lives of not only human beings, but all living beings in the consideration of Life in and as Equality and Oneness, wherein this Equality wherein this Oneness is not a mind-experience based on the fusion of the ‘poles’ as chemical marriage, but an actual physical one plus one relationship and agreement to work together to live as equals on Earth, honoring Life for the first time which we had neglected to a mere background where no Self-Respect as Equality existed.

 

I commit myself to expose feminism as the counter-act of machismo, which stems from the ‘outdoing’ and trumping of the power-game played by both genders when defined according to energy and not the obvious physicality that is equally composed by the same cells, organs, tissues, bones and brain that requires the same nutrients to live, that develops the same way in physical reality wherein no ‘superiority’ or ‘inferiority’ is visible, but it only exists in the mind of human beings as an excuse to perpetuate the conflict and rivalry between males and females, which is unacceptable, unnecessary and must be stopped.

 

I commit myself to walk my Self-Agreement wherein I ensure that who I am as the relationship with myself is not defined by a ‘gender’ but instead as a physical being that is able to stand in and as Equality with the totality that is here as Self, where no genders define what is life and what’s not life or ‘less than’ as  all is existent in an equal stance in the measure of life – thus we stop the power-play between males and females in the name of Life in Equality.

 

Desteni I Process Relationships  to learn how to remove the conditions we’ve learned from our past as human beings that were existing in self-definitions of power-control and energetic-luring as the base foundation of ‘human relationships’

Desteni

Visit the Forum for further support.

 

 

Blogs:

• 
  

  Why the Oneness Experience do Not in fact Exist: DAY 59

• Day 59: Word of God

• 
  

  Day 60: The PHILOSOPHER’S STONE

Interview:

• Life Review – How the Personalities shape the Physical

• Reptilians – My First Introduction to Love – Part 53

 

Free Download:

• Life Review – The Buddha Experience

Day 13: The Mind as Self-Creation Buddy

When removing this entire attachment/ hold toward my personality, what remains is aspects that I can live as who I am without keeping it as something that I manifest through an energetic relationship toward. An example can be how most – if not all – have something that we want to ‘hide’ because of all the memories and past experiences that lead us to shape and create ‘who I am’ as a personality that has a particular set of preferences, habits, behavior and experience toward the world. So, instead of continuing defining me as such differences and categorization as an individual in contrast to others, I can potentiate the words/ aspects that I see and realize I am able to expand and implement as ‘who I am’ by correcting the starting point of such relationships in a self-supportive manner.

 

“I commit myself to – practically utilize my Mind Consciousness System  in/as my processes of/as writing/self-forgiveness and self corrective application, to assist/support me with identifying/exposing/revealing my accepted and allowed self-separation from/of all as me, as I see/realise/understand that the Mind has become the embodiment of/as all the relationships I had created/manifested in/as separation of/as me.” [1] Sunette Spies

 

This is a key-point here as the Mind is our direct and explicit in-detail map to see where and how we have directly separated ourselves from within this physical reality, it’s like your Google Earth wherein we can actually use it to become really specific in our creation process as an equalized being.

 

Each one of us walks a different ‘path of separation,’ and in that, we are all equally and one walking the process of correcting the relationships of separation toward ‘the whole,’ which means that each one is walking different aspects of self that we have separated ourselves from, according to the energetic experiences a definitions we have imprinted to everything and everyone that we have deemed as separated from self.

 

A quick example when I realized this in the past – yet in a very rudimentary mode – is how when we established words to ‘name’ everything and everyone in separation of ourselves, we immediately differentiate ourselves ‘from that which we name.’ The moment we have a tag/ label/ name toward something/ someone it became a relationship that creates an experience that is different/ unique to each person, as each person has only ever really experienced ‘themselves’/ ourselves as our mind, never really ever ‘felt another,’ or ‘experienced’ the same as others do, because we all have lived words through different experiences and moments that builds up ‘who we are.’

We can’t possibly experience the same or associate words toward the same energetic experiences – it is because of this that we have all in fact been ‘lost in translation,’ trying to establish ‘connection’ as relationships toward people/ things/ places because that’s all we have ever known ourselves to be: an individual that is separate from the whole = seeks to connect/ create relationships all the time, which can only exist at a mind level. So it doesn’t even matter if you are with another or not, as long as we had our mind as the faithful companion, we agreed to remain subservient to any physical reality that was obviously of separation and energy-sucking from one another, as well as the entire Earth and its resources.

 

So – what the hell are we doing here? Healing/ repairing/ correcting/ mending the primordial separation from each other as the whole. That is by each one taking on their mind as their ‘set of separations’ that is ‘unique’ as a configuration within each one – yet equal to all within the mechanisms that generated such relationships, which are energy-based and generators at all times. Hence, what each one of us in this process is walking is the manifested separation through our accepted and allowed ‘living’ of words in separation of who we have become As such words in separation of self as one and equal. This is all of what we gave-a-name to as something ‘outside’ of ourselves.

There might have even been a moment in your life that you saw yourself thinking ‘what if this is all that I am? What if I am only thinking this reality’? Well, we were and still are only thinking the reality that is simply here, manifested and doesn’t require us to think about it to exist. This means that the only way to equalize ourselves is to stop thinking and creating further relationships as experiences ‘toward’ this reality, but instead live and experience the actual physicality that is here as myself, as my body, as the environment that I can simply direct myself within and without, minus the constant generation of experiences about it.

 

I represent a set of points of separation – you represent another set of points of separation – we all together walk our sets of points of separation and in that, our part is contributing to the whole correction that is required within this world to establish best for all living-relationships that will enable each other to finally enjoy, express, be boundless yet living by equal and one principles – that’s the point here. And through correcting such relationships – because the only correction possible is equality and oneness as life – we will have as an inevitable outflow from such application, an physical change in the way that we interact, communicate, establish relationships as the new way to live/ exist in this world. The way that we see each other is changing already – if you have been duly aware of this – we are becoming aware of, for example, to what extent we would dare to project our own self-created mind-maze of relationships and self-depreciation onto others – unacceptable, yet we thank ourselves for being able to walk Self Forgiveness for all that which we have used and abused in the name of a personal delusional – and abusive – self-glorification.

 

So this is self-support for me to see how the points I had realized in a rather vague way did make sense and that I wasn’t only divagating. And this comes from the direct experience that I would get when becoming a bit ecstatic about these realizations during school mostly, and would share them with others and people would mostly stare back with what I judged being a ‘yeah-right’ type of attitude, not really caring or probably understanding what I was trying to say – such as the cookie theory and this point of primordial separation of who we are as words. Again, I’m not going into the elusive ‘god’ creation that is believed to be superior, this is about self-realization of who we are as god, an equal and one meaning as the only definition/word/value/experience that can exist: Life in Equality.

 

Equality is the main correction to implement within the definition of Life as what’s always been here, equal and one – yet our experiences toward life and everything had not been of equality, which is why we are now walking this process to equalize ourselves as life.

 

So, what does this all mean then? That I have to walk each tidbit of association that I created an energetic experience toward, beginning with how engaged and/or compromised I became toward the experience of myself ‘as myself,’ as a personality/ego and ‘my precious’ creation that I was directing to fulfill my personal wishes and desires that could only stand in separation of the common sensical realization that: I can only be fully happy, living in absolute self-realized self-expression IF standing one and equal as everything and everyone that is equally here as myself- there is no other way.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to live a life wherein I sought to create relationships toward others in separation of myself, in the name of creating me an experience that I could call ‘life/living.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having lived a life of self-interest wherein I didn’t realize that the only driving-factor for everything that I did, was always seeking an energetic experience that I could keep as ‘memories’ that I could later on utilize to satisfy my memory-needs of identifying myself a my past, as my friends/ family/ partners/ living places that I have defined as ‘pieces of me,’ that I have kept for the sake of the usual memorabilia that I was looking forward to keep until I was very old and I could use such memories to generate the same experiences that would have led me to ensure I ‘keep this moment as a memory’ in order to satisfy my mind’s desire to remain ‘alive,’ within myself, missing the obvious common sense wherein: who I am cannot be only a memory kept throughout the years, that is gone in one moment and can be distorted to suit my personal needs, wants, desires. Who I am cannot possibly be a memory or an experience.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever seek creating, forming and establishing relationships to people, places according to my self-created configuration that determined how I viewed/ saw ‘my life’ as an accumulation of memories, data, knowledge that I could later on use to enhance my value, my worth and my own experiences b keeping/ freezing such moments as ‘who I am.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to diminish myself to being a single memory rolling and repeating itself aimlessly, I realize that I had become a memory-collector in order to continue ‘identifying’ and building myself as a personality that I wanted to eventually be able to be proud of.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live a life of self interest wherein every person I sought to ‘connect with,’ every place that I created an attachment toward and every thought as an experience that I believed was ‘me,’ were in fact only in the name of creating me a nice and apparently fulfilling experience as a record-keeping that I could be satisfied with at the end of my days.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to diminish my lifetime to a single memory-collector, specifically being aware of imprinting/ keeping/ saving the moments that I had decided was the way that I want to ‘remember myself,’ and in that I developed such an emotional attachment to it, with a definitive conscious participation to deliberately do so, that It’s taken me a while to go actually disengaging from the memories as the experiences that I created toward others, which is revealing in itself how much effort, time and consistency I lived toward the idea of myself as my personality, of others, of places, or events in my life that I had deemed as ‘valuable.’

 

I realize that it is only through me stopping valuing things, people, places in separation of myself can be actually begin to understand what living a principle of equality would actually mean.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to even become proud of myself as my creation, as my personality because of the amount of time I had ‘invested upon myself’ which lead me to then fear losing it, which would have meant the obvious: I have brainwashed myself all this time. I see how we all have this ‘voice in the head’ that comes and allows you to know and realize what is it that we are in fact existing as, believing ourselves to be, and that it is such voice that I must bring here as words, to assist and support me to get to know myself, to learn how I created, built and connected such dots as words that have defined my individual experience here toward myself and others – and through applying self forgiveness on it, walking the self corrective application, we can actually make of this process something that is simply what it is, having to withdraw from the main platonic relationship we have created which is: the relationship with our own mind.

 

Once that is walked, debunked, Self-Forgiven, Self-corrected, we will be able to understand what such separation actually revealed of ourselves.

 

All in all, what I suggest is to make of this process not a tortuous process wherein we see the point of letting go of ‘who we are’ as our mind as standing underneath the scaffold all the time, which is and can only be painful if we are always at the expectancy of the blade running down all of a sudden, when in fact, such egocide can be as painless, as simple and as gentle as we make decide it to be. In the end, this is about Self-Creation, isn’t it? What type of God would want to continue self-flagellation in the name of purification? None.

 

So – we walk, here as breath, unconditionally letting go and re-establishing that primordial separation is the only answer to Life Here: Ourselves. We require to create a new system that can enable the possibility for all beings to walk this process, as that is what we would like others to do for ourselves in such positions. That’s how we require to establish the Equal Money System to ensure that all Life’s needs are guaranteed for all human beings and in that, take the first move to deconstruct the system of illusion and delusional values that we have created in the name of keeping our mind-bubbles alive. We are here to burst our bubbles.

Support yourself, Support Life

Check out the Journey To Life Reddit Community

Blogs of the day:

[1] As Within = So Without: DAY 12

Day 12: BrainWashing and Mind Control

 

Recommended Book:

Virus Free Mind by Bernard Poolman