Tag Archives: social darwinism

Day 39: Hypocrisy

 

hypocrisy
n   the practice of claiming to have higher standards or more laudable beliefs than is the case.
hupokrisis ‘acting of a theatrical part’, from hupokrinesthai ‘play a part, pretend’.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever judge another being as being hypocrite without realizing that we have all become hypocrites the moment that we live according to the idea that we want to fulfill of ourselves in our minds, chasing our wants, needs and desires and using all means available to achieve them, wherein we portray ourselves as a character that is able to ‘get what one wants’ by using deceptive means that in no way consider life and what is best for all, but only self interest and personal gratification.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people in my reality as hypocrites toward myself, when in fact the only one that was judging them was myself in my secret mind, believing that because ‘they need me/ they require my stuff’ they are being hypocrite toward me just to keep things ‘at ease’ around, without realizing that I have been the only one creating the point of hypocrisy by having thoughts, judgments about others in my mind that I have justified in self righteousness wherein projecting blame toward others makes me ‘the victim’ and the ‘good person’ that is ‘good spirited’ and is ‘true’ to herself – without realizing that the very act of judging and having thoughts in the back of my head about others that they can in no way see/ be aware of is making me exactly that which I am judging others for:a hypocrite.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that we have all always been hypocrites as that has become ‘the way’ to survive in a dog eat dog world, wherein pretending to care, pretending to be interested in another’s life, about animals, about the environment, about those in need comes like a ‘nice thought’ that makes us feel like we are ‘considerate’ toward fellow living beings, just to eventually in one second forget about it and continue living our lives, pursuing happiness, scheming ways to win, seeing how we can get the most with the least inversion, planning out ways to become effective within the system that functions in corruption and dishonesty by playing the game, without having ever considered that the acceptance of such constant scheming to be ‘more,’ to be ‘above others’ is what is driving this entire Earth to its absolute depletion, wherein everything that will be left-  if we don’t stop ourselves -is our dreams of chasing after the elusive pot of gold in the name of personal ‘power,’ that can only exist as an illusion within the delusional and schizophrenic monetary system that is based upon abuse and not life.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others as hypocrites for having approaching me in the name of self-interest and not in a ‘genuine’ way, without realizing that there are no ‘genuine intentions’ in this world wherein we have all bound ourselves to a system of survivalism, where the one that is able to be the best liar and ‘fool’ the most is the one that gets the most power as the ultimate reward = money in the world – hence how could I have ever gotten ‘hurt’ by seeing the truth of ‘others’ intentions’ without realizing that I have ruled my life according to the same principle of having to play the rules of this abusive game in order to survive, which are rules that I had never questioned and that I had accepted as ‘how things are’ and in that, justify all abuse and neglect toward life, which became me accepting hypocrisy as ‘who I am’ toward everyone and everything in this world, pretending to be ‘just fine’ while in fact, I could only deem that ‘everything is fine’ by deliberately accepting lies as truth and making myself ‘more’ through such ‘truths,’ as knowledge and information that I have defined as ‘who I am’ – in this

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become equally deceptive and hypocrite the moment that I accepted another to be and become only a personality, a set of preferences, beliefs, judgments, values, words, pictures, emotions and feelings that I have accepted as ‘who I am/ who others are,’ which is in fact accepting the abuse of life ‘as life’ and pretend that we and everyone in this world were in fact ‘living,’ while in reality, we have all become hypocrites in pretending to live while abusing life, regardless of the evidence that is here every single day, in every moment  wherein animals are going extinct due to our abuse, people die out of sheer human negligence to provide unconditional life support, the environment is extremely exploited in the name of personal power, in the name of human supremacy over all other life forms that are regarded as ‘less than,’ which in fact makes me and all that have defined ourselves as our ego, our personality, our beliefs, our dreams, our feelings, emotions, preferences as hypocrites toward life, because we never dared to question ‘who we are’ in relation to life and how come that our ‘lives’ could only be fueled by using what is unconditionally here as the Earth and what we call ‘resources’ and selling it for our own personal ‘benefit’ which is translated to money as power in this world-system.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become the ultimate hypocrite by believing that I could point out ‘flaws’ in others, while not even having dared to realize that who I am is the product of a society and a world built upon lies wherein no genuine thoughts, intentions and values have ever existed, because we’ve sold life in the name of money which means that whatever I ever pondered as genuine, as ‘sincere’ within me/ others was in fact part of the lies to keep myself within the belief that ‘I am a good person’ / ‘I am trust worthy’ – not wanting to see that this can only exist as long as ‘I am protected’ and I have money in my pocket as a form of security – otherwise, when my very own survival is threatened, all ‘honesty’ and ‘sincere intentions’ would be dumped out of the window because reality then knocks at our door to realize that: nothing that we have ever perceived to be ‘good natured’ was in fact so, as it had always been a cover up, a make-up for the inherent negative experience that we have all stemmed from since the inception and conception of ourselves within this existence. (Read Sunette’s blog for more)

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to believe that I was sincere and a genuine ‘good hearted’ person, without realizing that I used this as a way to manipulate my reality to obtain and gain that which I knew would make me ‘worthy’ at the eyes of others in society and in that, being able to eventually create a ‘good reputation’ that can be translated as ‘good source of money’ in a system wherein personalities that are presented as ‘good willed,’ ‘sincere’ and ‘honest’ are ‘rare to find,’ yet not realizing that any self-perception of being ‘good natured’ and ‘honest’/ sincere has only been a way to continue surviving in the ‘good side’ of reality, while avoiding and deliberately covering up the ‘bad side’ which is how I had deemed others to be: hypocrites, cheaters, liars without daring to see how the very scheming and planning of my own life, myself, my personality and the picture presentation that I built of myself toward others, was aiming at serving two gods –  wanting to do ‘good’ to life but wanting to preserve my specialness and my recognition in the system as a way to be able to continue abusing/living a ‘good life,’ yet pretending to care about those that were ‘less fortunate’ than myself.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that I’ve become the very epitome of hypocrisy, not only as an individual but as humanity, as an entire race that has dared to pretend that ‘everything is fine’ and we all go walking our days, seeking to ‘make it’ and looking for our greatest next excitement and successful living, living to the ‘max’ while neglecting all the effects and consequences of having lived by the law of self-interest throughout our existence, which is now facing a turning point that affects us all, and that must be a wake up call for everyone that is already seeing and living the consequences of our endless disregard toward life.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to judge smiles as a sign of hypocrisy without realizing that I would play out the exact same mechanism every time that I actually perceived a potential ‘threat’ or ‘antagonism’ from another, wherein the positive attitude such as unconsciously smiling was used to ‘soften’ any form of hostility that I could be facing in such moments, which reveals how being ‘affable’ and ‘good natured’ as an overall positive attitude is actually stemming from fear of conflict, fear of having enemies, fear of antagonism wherein through deception and lies we can ‘buy’ another to have them be ‘on our side’ in a world wherein only self interest can be the reason to divide and conquer.

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I have been a hypocrite from the very first stages in my life wherein I knew that presenting an ‘adorable expression’ would lead family, teachers, older people to be fascinated by me and in that, have everyone just ‘loving me’ and ‘appreciating me’ which would make me feel ‘good’ as the positive reward that I then became so used to constantly and continuously obtain from others – in this

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that hypocrisy became the deceptive portrayal of a decorative positive experience toward people as my modus vivendi, in order to always have everyone/ the most ‘on my side’ and ‘agreeing’ with me, wherein I ensured that all things would always work according to ‘my plans/ my way,’ which means that hypocrisy became the ultimate manipulation to always get what I want, how I want it and whenever I want it, through instilling sympathy for me as the devil that looked for ways and means to always get ‘the most of the cake,’ as all the positive energy experience that attention, care, money and compliments that I could gather from others, in order to then ‘value’ myself as ‘worthy’ because others could see me/ consider me as ‘worthy’ and a ‘valuable person.’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to accept positive rewards toward my hypocrisy which made a professional life-long hypocrite that knew how to ‘handle’ the system through creating and developing different personalities according to ‘where’ and with whom I was in my world, wherein I learned that different tricks as behavior, personality, words, self-presentation could work different according to each moment, each person to obtain my positive reward  becoming a chameleon that is multi-personality based,  and never ever considering this as something that was signifying deception and dishonesty, because I thought that everyone else was doing it, so it ‘must be’ the way to cope with reality, and in that

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become an equal part of a deceptive, corruptible and life-treason system wherein we have all pretended that it was ‘okay’ to place price tags upon ourselves to be sold for that positive reward – to place price tags upon  life wherein we thought that it was ‘okay’ to have people starving in isolated countries in the world wherein they could not ruin our ‘pretty picture world;’ wherein I made it okay to compete against others by presenting a made-up personality,  misrepresenting, manipulating and abusing the very  life that constitutes my beingness and diminishing it to a single personality as a bundle of thoughts, feelings, emotions, desires, wants, needs, preferences as a constant engine that had to be kept running by consuming more and more of anything that could keep me existing in that ‘positive idea of self,’ never pondering why I required to ever feel ‘more’ and ‘better’ about myself – and in this, never questioning why we were always seeking to be and portray ourselves as an ‘image of success’ at the eyes of others, in spite of the actuality that was going on within us, as all the inner conflict, self-hatred, self-loathing, anger, frustration and desires for revenge that we were only seeking to exert toward ‘the world/ others’ as an apparent blame for ‘them’ as the ones that went before us, having left a world in shambles, while the reality is that I as everything and everyone that is here have been equal participants in this game that we have called ‘life/ living’ wherein only through deceptive/ hypocrite means could we get some form of ‘decency,’ which implies that respect for life and human integrity have never been existent in this world.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that ‘higher standards’ can exist as an immaculate form of benevolence in this reality, without realizing that all positive experience is in fact stemming from our very own strife to make ourselves ‘more’ and ‘higher’ than what we are, because we have enslaved ourselves to an energetic system wherein we can only be ‘worthy’ and ‘good’ at the eyes of others through building up an image as a reputation that can be then ‘upgraded’ and ‘inflated’ like a price and sold and rewarded for good money as the actual positive-reward that can lead to fulfill the ‘higher standard’ that I sought to get and be recognized for as the ‘moreness’ of myself, which is and can only exist through abuse and general conflict/ opposition and abuse toward life and the consideration of Life in Equality.

 

As I see and realize that everything I have ever believed myself to be and think as a positive attribute has been part of the lies and deception in this world, I understand the importance of walking a process of Wiring, Self-Forgiveness and Self Corrective Application to give back to myself that positive experience that I always sought to be and become in the name of personal glory, wherein I tacitly agreed upon living in a system of abuse just to eventually get my positive reward for having been such a ‘good player’ in the system, abiding to the laws and rules of ‘survival of the fittest’ as the natural selection that I used as a justification to build up my ‘positive attributes’ to become part of the ‘winners’ in the system, and in that, forgetting eventually about all the ‘good-doer’ type of personality once that power and the desire for it simply corrupts even the most ‘honest’ man on Earth, as once that abuse is accepted and allowed in one single part/ aspect in our reality = it becomes acceptable for all, which is precisely how it is important for me to become The Point that Stops perpetuating the existence of myself as a deceptive and hypocrite toward myself/everyone else and this entire world the moment that I pretended to ‘care’ but only really care about my personal satisfaction, which can only exist as the saturation of positive energy based upon the abuse of all life.

 

I commit myself to expose my own hypocrisy toward myself/others/ the world from the personal to the global systems wherein everything ‘positive’ and ‘good natured’ was in fact the make-up put upon the actual shady, nasty and greedy side of each and every single participant in this world system that we have accepted and allowed to use for personal glorification and self-interest, and seeing it as something ‘normal’ and ‘acceptable’ to live-by and seek-for, without ever questioning why it is that we can’t ever get to an optimum position that benefits all and seeing that the cause for the problems in the world is in fact our own personal pursuit of happiness wherein we only care about ‘our own stability/ benefit/ security’ as money, while deliberately neglecting to ask/ ponder/ question the fact that not everyone in this world has the same access to money to have a decent living condition, nor can even they exist in the same ‘dream state’ of pursuing happiness without even having the very basic needs such as food, shelter, water, clothes, sanitation available within their world, which places into perspective the extremes of our deliberate human ignorance toward the world as ourselves.

 

Therefore I commit myself to walk my process to show and reveal to myself that anything that I had deemed as ‘good’ within myself, could only stem from a negative self-created experience that sought to be covered up in an acceptable way wherein I could obtain and gain other’s attention and acceptance in the name of my personal power, power that can only exist if others are ‘less’ than me in my own mind.

 

I commit myself to walk in every moment in Self Honesty wherein I ensure I no longer place myself as a separate part of the system that apparently ‘doesn’t abuse,’ because of believing that ‘I always wanted to do good’ – while not even realizing how this was also seeking a reward to myself for ‘doing good’ as recognition and eventually making of it all a ‘great life’ that I could live out of keeping myself as a lie within a system wherein hypocrites gain the most as they are the best liars when complying to the system and being seemingly ‘benevolent’ while in fact the world is in reverse, and all those that had nothing were the ones that we kept in such a deliberate isolated and caged position in order for us to ‘feel good’ about being able to do something for ‘the less fortunate,’ which proves that altruism is the most blatant form of hypocrisy that is stemming from personal glorification and never from a genuine care toward another as equals, as all that is sought in altruism is to feel good about having people depending on you, as that makes you ‘powerful’ as a mind that thinks that having power over others is something fulfilling.

 

I commit myself to stop any projection of hypocrisy as a judgment toward others in my head as I realize that we have all been equally participating within a system wherein we have compromise each other to only be able to thrive if we comply to the ‘rules of the game’ as a deliberate form of abuse toward all life/ all living forms in the name of personal power and self-gratification.

 

I commit myself to expose how there can be no ‘personal power’ unless it is based upon abuse, and how the only power that exists is here as ourselves as the physical breathing moment wherein I can stand still in my mind, not participating in desires, wants, needs, dreams and the opposite as lack, self rejection, blame, excuses, justifications and self-deprecation that are equally energetic experiences that I have defined as part of ‘who I am’ and in this, expose what is it that we have been In Fact abusing while keeping our personal states of mind ‘alive’ which is ourselves.

 

I commit myself to reveal, show and demonstrate how it is only through Self-Forgiveness in Self-Honesty that we can in fact stop fighting for our own survival and stopping the desire for ‘power’ and ‘moreness’ of ourselves – and reveal this process of Self Honesty as the only way that we can make us trust-worthy again with Life, that Life can stand in and as a system that benefits all, that is regarded as one and equal within and for everyone, wherein Who I am is no longer defined by a point of separation of my self equality and oneness.

 

I commit myself to be part of the group of people that have committed themselves to ensure that the rules of the game within this ecosystem function according to that which is best for all, at all times, wherein we can finally stop being hypocrites toward one another and discover what it is in fact the genuine expression of human beings and life, once that the bonds of dependency through the current monetary system as survivalism and abuse, stop and reveal the actual nature of ourselves to be worked with once that the threat toward life is removed as an actual self-willed action within the understanding that: we were the only ones that generated, stimulated an perpetuated such separation from substance/ life in an attempt to make of life an experience as a ‘feeling of being more’ than ourselves here, in the physical.

 

I commit myself to use the word hypocrisy as a way to rattle the cages of all that are caged in a comfort zone of self-dishonesty as I stand and dare to call out the abuse that we have all accepted in the name of personal glory, and in that, reveal our ‘true nature’ as well as showing/ revealing how we can only redeem ourselves once that we dare to care to create a world system of money that can be equally distributed for all, as a self-forgiveness act to clear the sins of our past wherein we only sought our individual satisfaction – we can only become self-honest and trustworthy with life/ as life if we dare to give and receive life unconditionally to all parts equally, within the realization that we are one organism that must function in equality at all times and that any form of abuse will only cause the re-load of the same abusive patterns of the past.

 

I commit myself to breathe here, to walk my own secret mind toward others beings throughout my life until I make sure that I have cleared my standing here as every moment of consistently existing as breath only, so that I can in fact be trusted again with life. And extend this point of self-support toward others as I see and realize that we can only stop if we All collectively stop and take responsibility for the spider web spun in separation of life as ourselves.

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Day 28: I’m Always Right

The cycle of generating some form of conflict  and friction in our reality to then create and formulate ways to get ourselves out of it into a positive experience is the only way that we can be constantly accumulating these ‘pats of god’ (or god spats lol)  to temporarily satiate our constant yearn to be ‘fulfilled/ happy/ productive’ and yes, creating a sense of comfort out of that initial self-created beaten and won war against, well essentially only ourselves.


Self Righteous was my ‘flavor’ when it came to living out such pattern, and I am dead honest that I had not realized this until it was pointed out in my face while being at the farm and talking the point of ‘my way’ out, wherein I had deemed that my perceived ‘positive attributes’ didn’t have to be self-forgiven/ corrected, without realizing how they were in fact only generated out of the point that I now understand with more clarity: we birth ourselves as conflict that seeks the eternal completion/ fulfillment/ satisfaction as that positive experience that we have to constantly feed/ upkeep as an elusive ‘state of being’ that has lead us to co-create the current world system where ‘all your dreams can come true’ if you have enough millions in the hole-on-wall and enough needy people to do ‘whatever they can for you’ in exchange of some of your cake’s crumbs.



So – this constant desire to always be ‘right,’ of always having the ‘ultimate say’ becomes a ‘desire-to-always-win’ pattern wherein any window of opportunity is used to outshine and blind with lights of ‘I know it all’ wherein the more we believe we are ‘right,’ the harder it gets to turn off the light  – why? because all things related to instant gratification are easily consumed. It’s like offering a candy or a vegetable to a ‘regular’ person – they would mostly go for the candy because it creates a nice fluffy feeling, whereas the vegetable is cool for your digestive tract – yet it doesn’t recreate, instigate or enhance any feeling that makes us feel a little piece of heaven for a moment, only running out as the effect of any drug that we then seek to come back for more. The fact that we have equated ‘winning’ to ‘living’ is another one of those capitalistic logical statements that we have adopted as ‘our life’ – and within this, we have accepted ourselves to become our very own dictators of what is right/ wrong, good/ bad in our reality. We all run our own Wall Street in our mind and somehow we always manage to make the algorithms work on our favor – no different to how money runs (or is created out of thin air) in this world.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find fault in people, things, places, events in order to have the ‘ultimate say’ about it wherein in my mind, I either have to humbly accept that something is ‘cool’ and ‘alright’ or I get the most juice of it all by claiming that ‘it’s wrong, it’s not good enough, it’s flawed’ which proves that I only get the most winning-experience when in my mind I am able to find enough fault/ mistakes that I can judge in order to then correct them within my own mind and in that believe that ‘I can do/ be better than that, my idea was better’


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I always get the most of the cake/ the most positive reward whenever I am able to prove something/ someone wrong and in that, build my ego up based on ‘finding fault in another,’ wherein such projection can only exist if I seek to prove myself right according to what I ‘believe,’ and ‘what I am’ as an idea in my mind, because I see and realize that in physicality, we are all one and equal – bones, cells, tissue, organs, flesh don’t require to prove something or someone wrong or right in order to exist.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always place myself in my mind above others, wherein no matter what is being said, I cringe whenever there is something that I must admit is ‘right’ and in that, believe that I am ‘diminishing’ myself because of agreeing with another’s words/ statements, wherein because I didn’t get to ‘prove them wrong,’ I am left with my initial state of only seeking to make myself feel ‘more’ and ‘better’ based on placing myself ‘on top’ of others, which can only be a mental masturbation in my mind wherein my ‘success’ is stemming from bashing/ proving others wrong.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become the very judge of everything and everyone in means of seeking ways to always make myself feel better about it all, which implies that I seek to ‘out do’ someone, ‘become better’ based on excelling in comparison to others, wherein I then live a life of constant and continuous strife to ‘always be right,’ because ‘being right’ has become the very definition of how I see myself, who I believe myself to be, because that’s the way that I have accepted and allowed myself to be worthy/ be acceptable/ be important toward others – in this


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live a life not for myself but as a constant comparison and projected judgment onto others, without realizing that within this very mechanism of me always ‘being right,’ I am in fact fearing and avoiding ‘being wrong’ at all cost, which implies that


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘diminish’ who I am as an idea – which is the only thing that can diminish of myself – when realizing that I was in fact ‘wrong’ within a particular circumstance wherein such experience is felt as a failure, as a ‘loss’ which is what generates envy and jealousy whenever we project such loss as an experience toward others that ‘got it right,’ and in that, create an entire antagonism based on only ‘me’ as my ego wanting to continue ‘winning’ all the time, wherein anyone that gets to be on the same/ similar position is seen as an enemy/ threat to who I am as the ego that is always right.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become the very power-game that fuels the idea of myself in this immaculate self-righteous person that suffers and goes into the negative and self-deprecating person if that initial desire and projection as a ‘winner’ is not fulfilled wherein then I step down of the hill all the way down and below sea level, wherein I in fact remain ‘out of competition’ because of perceiving that ‘If I could not do it my way, then fuck it, I won’t play the game any more’, which is the usual way of victimizing myself wherein


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in a victimized state that also requires to be kept ‘alive’ by me deliberately denying that I am capable/ able to direct myself effectively and believing that because I didn’t ‘get it right’ the first time, I just rather pass-on the point/ work/ assignment onto others that ‘have proven to do it right, ‘ which is not an unconditional move but an actual victimized state masked with ‘understanding, ‘which is stemming from the spiteful nature toward ourselves when not getting our immediate ‘fix’ of feeling ‘great’ for ‘always being right’ about something/ someone/ event.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the opposite polarity of believing that ‘I always fail at this/ I always get it wrong’ which also gets an energetic kick as an experience whenever another can confirm and commiserate to my own victimization, wherein them agreeing that I am in fact ‘fucked up,’ makes me – absurdly so – feel better, because I was able to get a confirmation from another of what I created for myself as ‘being wrong,’ which in a twisted energetic game becomes a ‘positive experience’ because I got seconded by another in my own mental delusion, proving in my mind that ‘I was right,’ which becomes then a perceived ‘fine’ experience in stagnant self-wrongness that eventually makes us feel ‘good’ as well, because we get the confirmation by others that ‘that’s who I am/ that’s ‘my nature’ and that’s what ‘I deal with,’ yet without the actual understanding of how I created such patterns for myself.



I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to only become a person of ‘good reputation’ when considering that all acts of such self-seeking positive nature support the maintenance of the money system running as the consequence of this desire to only win. Instead I see that any disagreement toward a point of common sense, can only allow myself to reflect within me ‘who am I’ while reading others’ blogs/ sharings and in that, see if I am trying to prove something wrong/ right when and while reading others words.


I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that I was born out of conflict and in that, becoming Self-Righteous means that I get my satisfaction from being appraised as ‘always right,’ which is what then gets me out of my initial self-perception of being wrong and seeking to ‘be right’ wherein through obtaining the positive feedback, I build the conceptual confidence and stability based on compliments/ words/ perceptions that I believe is ‘who I am,’ therefore perceiving it as a way of accepting ‘who I am’ as ‘always being right’ at the eyes of others, creating me a flattery experience – without realizing that I am the only one that has structured this ‘rewarding game, ‘ wherein others’ expression is fitted into my own rules of the game to make them useful to fulfill my own created patterns of winning, losing, being recognized, being wronged by others, in that scheming my own inner conflict through positive and negative feedback that I have accepted and allowed to define ‘who I am.’


I realize that I have always only played all of these games in secret, within my mind wherein there is no ‘others eyes’ as judgments other than the thoughts that I constructed within myself at all times. This is then debunking the constant participation within the permanent comparison toward others to assess ‘where am I in relation to others,’ which can only exist within me existing as a value that can be more or less than others, which is ludicrous and can only be ‘real’ as the idea of self – never as who I really am as one and equal as life.


I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that what I in fact fear to self forgive is my ability to continue existing as a self-righteous person because in that, ‘who I am’ is exposed and mined wherein all that is left for me is to live without being a constant energy seeking machine to be ‘right’ at all times, but instead simply direct myself within the consideration of what’s best for all, wherein I am able to express in a self-directive manner wherein I ensure no backchat as comparison/ judgments/ self righteousness is being the starting point of my participation.


When and as I see myself assessing others using my right-o-meter as the mental ever-present judge that I’ve become, I stop and I breathe – I realize that all that I am ‘assessing’ is in fact my own mind, projecting judgments onto other which eventually  affect and disrate how I view others – in my mind – and in that be the point that hears/ sees within common sense wherein I allow myself to stand as the correction and then simply externalize it/ communicating, which is then being a supportive point to establish equal-relationships wherein no more competition, rivalry and judgment onto others as right or wrong is perpetuated.


I commit myself to stop the mechanism of me wanting to be right all the time in order to accumulate ‘props for my ego,’ wherein who I am and has been cannot be defined as knowledge/ information/ self beliefs to feed on. I move me as an assessment of what’s best for all in the moment, without over complicating the point by having to add ‘extra value’ to it –I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to adopt self-righteousness as my personal religion wherein everything I judge upon others ‘is and must be so’ because in my mind ‘I’m always right,’ which is used as a necessary crutch to cover up the initial uncertainty, mistrust, fear and self judgment that is polarized into a positive-view of reality wherein I make sure that I am always ‘winning’


I commit myself to stop all desires to always win, and in that, give myself back to myself that which I thought I had to ‘prove someone/ something’ wrong to, within this I am able to identify the points that I have separated myself from and in that, assess my application in practicality and living-reality wherein the only law of our being as equality and oneness can be the ultimate say in this reality, not knowledge.


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Day 3– De-Capital-I-zing Me

Seeing me as the Capital imposition upon Life- it’s not a pretty picture considering to what extent we have neglected the lives of the billions that live in this world without even getting to know what having meat on your skin actually feels like, how having food, shelter, water, toilets, and proper health care as the things that we have taken for granted, would be like a heaven that is never really manifested in their lives. How have we created such abuse? Yes, we all have done it, accepted and allowed it through our very “living” of a surrogate – and very limited – experience of ‘Life’ as an energetic system wherein for some to ‘be on top,’ abuse must exist to make sure that others remain invalidated within the system, way at the bottom with no ability to stand up. Who has been the ‘evil ones’ all the way?

 

Validation is a word that came up today wherein I see that we are always seeking to be validated by others, to con.firm that ‘I’ exist a a product that is and can be ‘valued’ in this reality in a lesser or greater position when comparing myself to others that are also existing as Capital-I’s impositions on Life. This capital is  the surplus as the delirium for power that I have ‘granted’ myself with  as an individual and as this entire physical reality in separation of myself, which exists as ideas, beliefs, perceptions of ‘who I am’ as the mind that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become, which translates into knowledge and information in the form of definitions, values and interests that are directly linked to how we have placed a price tag virtually upon everything and everyone in this world. Yes, even You and I have a price as well.

 

The desire to be validated/ recognized exists in us human beings as a way to keep ‘adding’ onto ourselves the necessary ‘props’ for our ego as thoughts, beliefs, memories, opinions and judgments that can ‘uplift’ our position within this current world-system configuration that is based upon Money. That way, we learn ways to make ourselves ‘liked’ and ‘praised’ and ‘accepted’ as that would ensure our survival within this current world system, within forming and creating relationships of self-interest wherein all bonds are formed just like financial bonds that eventually ‘pay off’ to our own benefit.  That way, we live a life of always seeking to be ‘above’ others, to finally ‘make it’ within the current accepted and allowed system of abuse wherein one can only exist ‘on top’ of another if the ones ‘below’ are invariably abused. There are no exceptions within that.

 

The sour truth is we have all created and manifested and maintained this world into the current crisis that it is because of having accepted that initial desire to be ‘Capital-I-zed,’ to be seen by the eyes of the mind of other human beings as being ‘worthy’ as being ‘great’ and ‘superior’ = seeking validation within the eyes of the mind that functions as this perpetual appraisal of each other as such assessment translates eventually into money, as ‘how we sell each other’ to the greatest bidder –  because money buys and money is the point that we have created as the main point of abuse in this world, the perfect creation of us, human beings in the name of power and self-Capitalized Interest.

 

The pursuit of happiness begins at a thought level, which is seeking that energy that will allow us to keep existing as that Inflated-idea of ourselves which is and cannot possibly be Real, as it only exists as thoughts, pictures, memories, beliefs, objects fabricated and created in separation of myself through and by the same system of abuse that uses the belief of energy as a requirement to exist, which is Not who I really am as this physical reality wherein I cannot, in any way, make myself ‘more’ or ‘less’ in an equality-equation in which life actually exists – yet our world system as the reflection of our very own nature, does Not work that way at the moment. And the consequences are already roaming the Earth as the inevitable facing of ourselves as our creation.

Our economy is founded upon these  beliefs around the ‘battery’ that we have made ourselves dependent-to in order to continue living as Money, along with the added values and ‘interest’ that we rate ourselves-with, as our entire personality and ego-creation that takes also money to create and sustain. Are we walking bank accounts that seek to be endowed with more and more all the time to get ‘wealthier,’ to accumulate all capital and get the most interests over time through our inversion?

 

Have a look at our thoughts and mind experiences: we are always seeking to make ourselves ‘worthy’ – or the direct opposite which works the exact same way – which cannot possibly exist other than in a mental-delusion of something being able to be  ‘more’ or ‘less’ in reality. The current separation that has become real is the outflow of these values we have imposed onto life; it’s in the current structure and functioning of the money system in which we have delegated our one and equal expression into a system that creates a surrogate experience of life, degrading it into a ‘cheap’ version of energies as emotions and ‘feel good vibes’ through a mechanism where loss and gain is made possible,  enslaving life to a binary programmed system of self-limitation, which reflects upon our money system: our own power-structure that decides who lives and who dies.

 

All of this begins by this acceptance and allowance of ourselves seeking validation in separation of who we are as life, as one and equal. We have ‘forgotten’ – or neglected – the fact that Life is the only value that is here, that is real and as such it is and cannot exist as something ‘measurable’ within an abstraction such as the money-belief-system that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to create and manifest in separation of life as who we really are.

 

We have to stop being appraisers of each other through the Capital-Eyes of money that we have created as a survival of the fittest jungle world, which implies that those that are not ‘worthy’ to the system, those that cannot ‘capitalize themselves’ because of being born in a readily-existent position of scarcity and lack of money, don’t stand a chance to ‘make it’ within this world. We are so compartmentalized in our own petty experiences that we cannot even fathom the extent of suffering that someone is going through as the result of us accepting and allowing the current world system ‘as is’ until now. 

 

Hence this survivalism is and has become the current constant competition and strive to live wherein money becomes equal to the appraisal’s judgments upon ourselves to remunerate us with creating a positive experience when being valued as ‘worthy’ and a negative experience when being valued as ‘unworthy.

 

The only Value that can exist is Life itself – that’s the value of Money in the Equal Money System -and because it exists in Equality, all value becomes irrelevant, just like a God that cannot exist if all is one and equal. God – as the Capitalized delusional concept and belief of an almighty superior being/ force in existence – can only exist if someone is subordinated and/ or deliberately subjugated to a lesser position = that can only be done through the deliberate  imposition of psychopathic systems to create and manifest separation from ourselves as Life, that we have violated into a ‘divide and conquer’ principle in the name of ‘power’ which can only come through abuse, wherein every single person is currently living by its rule of thumb in this world. 

 

It is unacceptable, we created this and it’s time to Stop.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a system of abuse without having ever questioned the ‘unreality’ that exists as values imposed to life that is here, values created by and through our very own mind, a mind that we are constantly seeking to re-charge to continue Capital-I-zing the idea of ourselves to get to a final state of ‘ultimate bliss’ and ‘fulfillment’ and ‘completion’ as the accumulation of energy as money, as positive judgments and experiences that can only exist if others are abused, subjugated and diminished to a lesser position so that I can stand in full-glory of myself.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having conveniently veiled and diminished my ability to understand this reality as the world system,  by delegating life and my self-direction through a mind system that is and has become the surrogate ‘living experience’ that can only function through and as an energetic system of abuse.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept such diminishment and enlargement of ‘who I am’ as values, beliefs and perceptions of ‘who I am’ as my mind, wherein I can see and realize that the ‘who I am’ is existing as thoughts, experiences, definitions as the energetic personality that I have carried and lived-as within my mind, which separates me from the very physical body and reality that is here as myself, the reality that I have abdicated my responsibility to within the moment that I opted to live within a pursuit of power, happiness, bliss, glory and eternal life as all the positive experiences that I allowed myself to accept as ‘what life is,’ as ‘successful living.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be educated to ‘capitalize’ the Idea of myself, gaining props and escalating positions to get to a secure point within the world system, wherein money is then assured as a validation, a licensed version of myself as being a ‘worthy system of life’ within the configuration of this entire world system of energetic abuse that I accepted and allowed myself to exist as.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek validation and being ‘worthy of life’ at the I’s of other capitalized mind systems, feeding off of each other to inflate the idea of ourselves, to create a delusional value that is beyond the physical flesh and bones as the substance that is who we really are in this world and reality.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to ever question the value systems existing in this world as the projection of the very value-systems that I have created, categorized and schemed within my own mind. This implies that I, as the creator of this system of abuse, is entirely responsible for all forms of separation and degradation of life due to and by the acceptance of a system of energetic abuse to exist as the illusion of living, as the equation of life to experiences generated by and through each participant’s mind in this reality.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create an energetic dependency to be constantly seeking validation outside of myself, which means seeking to sip and drain energy from the physical life substance to generate my personal entertainment and surrogate living as thoughts, feelings emotions which I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘identify’ myself with as ‘who I am,’ while neglecting the actual reality of suffering that stems from the polarized version of my pleasant experience of ‘success.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge ‘economy’ as a delusional pseudo-science, without realizing that it has become the very externalization of my own mind as this entire world system, as the study of the relationships of abuse and violation to the equality and oneness that is and has been here as myself. I did this to myself and the only point that is left, is forgiving myself for abdicating life to an experience –

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from life through the creation and manifestation of Money, from that very energy that I have used to abuse, to have an experience of ‘power’ over this reality and instead of questioning it further, I con-formed to it and abdicated any questioning towards it, because of wanting to remain in the most ‘comfortable’ position at all times.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ‘accept the system as is’ which implies never having even questioned my own mind, my own feelings and emotions and the generation of them as something that can alter ‘who I am’ at any given moment.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to live a surrogate life through the mind, where who I really am as life has been suppressed, contained and enslaved to an energetic system of co-dependency and parasitism that exists as the mind system that we all accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become.

 

I realize that I am the only one here that is responsible for this – one and equal as all participants are equally here as myself – thus, it is our individual responsibility to Stop this system of energetic dependency of ourselves as our mind, as thoughts, feelings, emotions, desires, dreams, pursuits of happiness, bliss, love and validation that can only exist in separation of the recognition of who we really are as life, as one and equal.

 

I commit myself to become the ‘I’ that stops all capitalism to exist within and as me, as my very own mind-patterns that seek to be validated, to be augmented in ‘value,’ that seek to be the ‘wealthiest’, the ‘most valued product’ in order to get the most Interest out of that accumulated Capital that I have invested myself with and enslaved my life to.

 

I breathe and realize that the extent of abuse that has stemmed form a single belief system of us being and existing as ‘separate’ from life, has deviated into our current reality = we are all responsible for it.

 

Thus what I can practically and physically do is:

I commit myself to stop all value-systems to exist within me, rating, assessing, appraising and oppressing the very life that I am by  my deliberate participation in a limited scope of ‘myself’ that I have become as a mind consciousness system.

 

I commit myself to integrate into this physical reality within and as a principle of what’s best for all, wherein the actions, words and thoughts that I create are self-directed and self-willed as the volition of Life that can only exist if all is equally considered within every decision made to have an outflow that’s best for all.

 

I commit myself to become part of the individuals that make sure that this world system as it is currently exists, as the reflection of myself as a mind system, ends –  this is done through and by Me stopping Capital-i-zing Myself through thoughts, feelings, emotions, desires, future projections of superiority and ‘greatness’ as self-interest that can only exist and be manifested if I allow myself to participate within such thoughts as desires, wants and needs. Therefore, I realize that the ability to stop participation in any thought, feeling, emotions and pattern that makes me ‘more’ or ‘less’ through an experience of the mind is in my hands.

 

I commit myself to walk my own mind of thoughts, feelings, pictures, emotions, memories, beliefs and any other experience to which I have diminished myself to, as the ego that I have capitalized and rated as a positive or negative experience within my participation in the mind.

 

I commit myself to get to a point of being equally here as the physical as myself by directing me from here on to do and live that which is best for all life, where no limitation and no excess can exist, where no devaluation and no inflation can exist, as I realize that who I am as the physical is constant and consistent as the very breath that keeps me alive.

 

I commit myself to live the words I write here and face the consequences that are already here as the outflows of having abdicated all self-responsibility to an automated system of self-abuse that I am still currently existing as within and without. Yet, it is within me that the key exists to become Self-Honest and stop the cycles of abuse for once and for all.

 

I commit myself to ‘validate’ myself as the application of the words I write here – I am the only one that is able to do that for myself in Self Honesty and only accumulate that which is Best for All Life

 

“I commit myself to understand that to bring about a world that is best for life I will have great resistance both from my mind and my body as my body is controlled  at the moment by my mind as well as from other people as minds and controlled bodies, but I will walk as I understand just like in my process, the time will come where the physical reminder of what is real will be so clear and shocking that the mind will stop and the person will hear and come to their senses of the physical world to begin their process to re-align with that which is best for all life.” Bernard Poolman 

 

I see and realize that the only way we can end ‘Capitalism’ is by stopping the delusional current money system that stems from our very own minds as a accepted praise to that which is ‘superior’ which can only exist through abuse.

The world is in reverse, people – we’ve got a lot of work ahead here, and we will walk this until  it is done.

 

Join us at Desteni

Check out the Forum for further support to walk out of our minds and into the physical.

 

 

 

Educate yourself about the Money System and read the support necessary to start considering beyond our Eyes and dare to live as physical beings that realize that breathing must be easy for all if we all support an Equal Money System that ensures a dignified living for all beings in this reality.

 

Blogs:

DAY 1: Who I Am as Money
DAY 2: Who I Am as Money – continued
Day 2: Happiness and Me

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