How deep is your thought? Is it really ‘out of reach?’ or are mysteries another way to keep us occupied in our minds? Is thinking a hobby? A blatant way to keep us enter-tamed?
Fathomless
1 [usually with negative] understand (something) after much thought.
2 measure the depth of.
I just became aware of how we can feed each other’s experience within just being here wherein thinking becomes a mental masturbation, trying to ‘grasp’ our understand reality. Now, I had talked about this before in the Stoned Philosopher – and this is something similar – however the point here is indulging into the act of analyzing and thinking in itself as a way to understand, wanting to make sense instead of seeing common sense.
Hell, this knocks hard on my guts as I have throughout my life delved so many times in the ‘unfathomable’ and then resorting to THINKING to make sense of it all. So the point here is to walk how I have tried to ‘Make Sense’ of something instead of walking it breath by breathe – knowledge will never be life, because knowledge was in itself the very consequence of our awareness being in separation of self here.
Now, I definitely recommend listening to the interviews ‘The Secret History of the Universe to understand this point. To me, ‘the ‘thinker’ it was a ‘profound revelation’ = another character- that I gave too much value to, so much that I heard the interview #6 about 6 times already, something I had not done with others before. So, within this the ‘fathomless’ character which I had specifically defined according to and toward ‘the origin of ourselves’ was being debunked in my ears, just like that – and that was a ‘shocker’ to my personality that would rejoice trying to ‘grasp’ things with thoughts in my mind.
Now, it’s cool that the word came up, because it had become ‘me’ so much that I was not even looking at it. Yet, it is thinking, it is ‘trying to understand’ and ‘grasp’ in separation of myself here.
Hence, Self Forgiveness ladies and gentleman.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become the ‘fathomless character’ that I used to resort to every time that I would indulge in wondering and trying to ‘find out’ truths of the universe and our existence, creation in an attempt to ‘make sense’ of myself through thinking, without ever realizing that thinking in itself is separating self from here as self-awareness as a whole, wherein ‘awareness’ then became only knowledge and information that I used as a way to intellectualize my reality and within that, missing everything that is HERE as myself, as reality, as the physical and only believing that ‘through thinking I would get to the truth of it all.’
When and as I see myself resorting to knowledge and information in separation of myself to try and attempt to ‘make sense’ of myself and my reality, I stop and I breathe. I realize that knowledge and information in separation of myself is just another way to keep me occupied in my mind while missing what is here. I realize that every point that I am able to understand about myself exists here as myself – there is no separate point that I can ‘seek to attain’ as that would be the character seeking its fuel to continue existing, which I am not.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create this fathomless character when I was a child and learning how to read, picking up a book about the universe and the space travels and within that, generating this fathomlessness experience within me wherein the thought of the universe overwhelmed me and deciding that ‘I would never ever get to grasp who we are/ how big is the universe/ get to know the universe itself’ and in that, becoming a ‘thinker’ throughout my life wherein from this premise of separating myself from what is here through thinking and making ‘the thought’ of the universe as More than myself, I became a seeker of the truth, seeker of knowledge in an attempt to understand who I am, why I am, how I am through knowledge and information outside of myself, instead of Looking into Myself.
When and as I see myself stepping into the fathomless character and experiencing myself to be ‘overwhelmed with knowledge,’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am separating myself from here and that I do not require to make of knowledge and information as something separate from myself in order to ‘make sense’ of who I am. Who and What I am does not require to be ‘made sense of,’ but simply walked, lived and understood upon practical living and self-introspection through writing, applying self-forgiveness and establishing myself here as the physical to really, in fact get to know me from the practical physical reality that is here as the totality of this world, beginning with my own mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become an analyst of myself, others and reality in separation of myself, believing that because I am able to ‘understand’ I am now more ‘empowered’ in a way which I am not, because who I really am is not knowledge and I have to instead realize that I have simply separated myself from understanding and realizing who I am because of having separated myself to live only as a mind consciousness system that works through knowledge and information in separation of the physical reality that is here – thus, I walk through the information and practical application thereof in order to ensure that what I realize and understand is able to support me to stop the ‘fathomlessness’ character and as such, occupy myself with the matters that are here in this world to be taken care of, which is the Reality that we have veiled through the illusion of the mind. (Please listen to How Illusion became Reality for further context)
I realize that whenever I see myself not hearing here completely and absolutely to a interview, it is because I am trying to protect that which I had become to such an extent that it is almost like not wanting to take the mask off because of the value/ worth I had given to the character as myself, as self-definition.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that being an analyst, a ‘thinker’ was a natural ability to me and that it thus defined ‘who I am’ as a person that is able to ‘understand/ grasp more than others,’ which means that it became the egotistical character o ‘understanding’ in separation of self, as no knowledge and information can possibly make someone more than another- yet within this I see that I complied to the rules of the system wherein I learned that ‘knowledge is power,’ and a such believing that I was special and unique for having all these existential questions and eventually getting to the answers only to find out it had all been a blatant character mindfuck, which is pretty cool.
When and as I see myself stepping into the ‘thinker’ character when I am alone with myself and getting a kick of excitement when ‘understanding’ reality along with a sense of the opposite because there are no more ‘mysteries unsolved’ in my mind, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I am now simply being able to understand and equalize myself to that which I have always been and existed as – yet separated myself from when becoming just one single character in this character reality. This means that walking through knowledge and information that explains the reality of myself here is no more than who I am, it does not make special, it is only an opportunity to now stop my actual ‘kick’ such as indulging in mysteries and wonderings and trying to elucidate about reality, which had become a past time in itself in my life, thinking about the world, life, the universe and never even questioning such ‘thinking’ activity in itself, but considered that I was special because I was asking such questions myself.
I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to create an entire personality out of ‘not being understood’ about my fascination with the universe and existence and pondering ‘where do I come from?’ ‘Who am I?’ ‘Why am I Here?’ which were the basic questions that got me into seeking answers as knowledge to ‘make sense of myself,’ seeking for solutions in separation of myself without ever even realizing that if we are all that exists then we are the origin, and as such, we would have to eventually realize who/ what we are as it is in ourselves – and instead focusing on removing the veils and conditions we have imposed onto ourselves and this world to not see the Reality – and instead realize that we veiled ourselves in order to continue existing only as an experience, instead of realizing ourselves as one and equal here.
Realizing ourselves as one and equal is a living-practical process, it cannot be taught onto another, it cannot be solved through knowledge and information – it can only be practically realized through getting to know ourselves as our own mind, seeing who we are in relation to others, to the environment, toward this entire world that we had separated ourselves from the moment that we became only this separate bubble of knowledge and information as the Awareness of self in relation to defining ‘who we are’ based on comparing/ contrasting/ differentiating ourselves from one another.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create an experience of ‘fuck! we missed it all the time’ and going into some instant kind of remorse or regret – whatever it is that came up in that moment – it is just another mind-created experience upon knowledge and information – thus
When and as I see myself listening to points wherein I realized to what extent we have separated ourselves from ourselves, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I have allowed a tendency to get infatuated with knowledge and information and with that, going into the ‘I missed it all’ type of experience based on not having been able to fulfill my desire to ‘know it all’ form the beginning, which is yet another character of ‘wanting to know it all,’ without taking into consideration that this is not about one individual knowing or understanding, but about realizing how we came to be who we are, how we came to ‘separate’ ourselves through knowledge and information from that moment that our awareness was directed in separation of another as ourselves.
Thus I realize that any experience that comes when getting information, stems from me going into a personal interest of ‘wanting to know it all’ in separation of myself, which is useless. I walk the point here to assist and support me to stop participation in further curiosity about the world, reality, who we are as it is quite obvious by now that there cannot be something ‘more’ than myself to be understood, but that these are practical points of support to understand How we got ourselves to the point we are in currently and through that, walking a physical living process to place that into application to finally see and realize and place into action our actual potential as creators, as expressions of what is and has always been here.
When and as I see myself going ‘deep in thought’ such as trying to fathom things in separation of myself in the physical moment, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I can only work/ walk what is here as myself in the physical moment – I instead ensure that I am not trying to go into ‘deep thinking’ based on wanting to avoid taking responsibility of myself in the physical moment and my physical reality, which is how the ‘thinking’ became a habit/ hobby in itself to escape reality.
I forgive myself that I have never ever accepted and allowed myself to realize how thinking had become a habit and a hobby in itself, wherein it would not matter that I was alone because I had my mind as ‘best friend’ to talk myself into multiple realities and outcomes trying to ‘understand myself’ and ‘make sense of myself,’ wherein I built a character of ‘thinking myself’ in itself, which is like meta-physics in itself, lol, going beyond the physical to try and understand ‘who I am’ as thinking, never realizing I was only going to perpetually loop around the same thoughts and the same programs as ‘thinking’ itself, which is not HERE as the totality of myself – yet.
When and as I see myself ‘rethinking’ the information and knowledge I am able to listen, I stop and I breathe – I realize that being HERE when and while reading/ understanding is sufficient to grasp the points that I require to grasp and that I do not require to make of this information something to ‘know’ but simply integrate it within myself as an understanding that supports me to stop the ‘incognita’ creating the ‘fathomless character’ within me.
Therefore, I walk through the material that is provided as self-support for what it is, wherein I see and realize that making it something ‘outstanding’ and ‘over myself’ is also ego and a character that tends to go into a positive experience as a ‘Eureka!’ type of realization that I then fuel by over-hearing something as if I could grasp ‘more’ than what is said in an attempt to make it something ‘great’ and ‘magnificent’ above myself, without realizing that: all that I am listening and hearing is part of who I am that I have separated myself from – thus it is no more than myself, it is only a point of support to see, realize and understand myself here.
I commit myself to stop thinking as a habit that goes into the ‘deep crevasses of my mind’ in an attempt to understand in separation of myself, as I realize that no knowledge and information can change ‘who I am’ already – and that I instead have to see how I have accepted and allowed myself to become knowledge and information in separation of myself here.
For further support, visit the Desteni Forum
Read the blogs at Journey to Life to find out why we are committing ourselves to walk out of our minds and establish ourselves as the physical, within the realization that it is in the awareness of ourselves as knowledge and information that this entire journey began.
Back to Nothingness
Thanks for reading.
I am made of the fabric of existence – Birthing Life from the Physical 2008
Blogs:
-
Day 92: Consciousness is WITHOUT Conscience
-
Friendship Suspicion Character – Part One: DAY 91
-
-
I Think Therefore I am – Day 90
-
I Think, therefore I fucked this Existence – Day 91
-
-
I Think – Therefore I am Intelligent – Day 92
Interviews to Understand what I was ‘pondering’ about here to stop all existential woes:
MarlenLife's Blog 