203. The Acceptance of Heaven is the Allowance of Hell

As humanity we have walked life after life not questioning anything in our reality, learning that things are ‘how they are’ because ‘that’s how it works’ and swallowing up this chill-pill-answer which in my case, I swallowed with some discontent initially – however, because I had no physical suffering, lack of food, lack of a house, lack of family, lack of education and learned that even though I was seeing suffering on the streets, being witness to hideous acts of madness – all was apparently ‘fine’ and we could still ‘enjoy’ and ‘have fun’ and seek for our greatest excitement and monetary success,  I simply learned to turn a ‘blind eye’ and being perfectly aware of every moment that I would compare my reality to that of children my age that had to be working on the streets, knocking door by door asking for food and clothes, me only reacting with absolute powerlessness every time, feeling sorry for a few minutes – then forgetting about it and continue with my happy go round life that was possible due to Money. Because, in the end,  what one learns at home when being in a middle-class society is to always aiming ‘higher’ in the social pyramid of greed and negligence and not really bother in trying to ‘save the world/ change the world’ as I had expressed some times – all of it actually stemming from me more feeling ‘bad’ about it than really even considering at that stage me being Them as in equally being here in this world, and that the acceptance of their condition held/ sustained my own pursuit of happiness.

This is similar to the acceptance of heaven and hell and my early obsession with polarity and wondering how I could only fathom ‘staying on the good side’ of BenEVILence, doing all I could to remain always at the good eyes of that god/ spiritual all-seer that I believed in and that became- along with my reality – the constant guiding forces while growing up: the social-conditioning of focusing on ‘aiming higher’ and the spiritual context (I apparently was not raised religiously, but ‘spiritually’ lol)  of doing good/ being a good girl/ aiming to ascend to the light realms when being dead. I did not know much about ‘heaven’ or the bible – but was well aware of Hell and I knew I had to avoid it at all cost. Now, this single neglect toward Hell/ Evil/ Demons the ‘Bad’ and Dark side of reality was almost like a taboo that no one wanted to talk about, not even talking about ‘death’ which obviously, lead me to later on develop my own fascination toward all the things that had been kept ‘unknown’ to me as part of any form of Education and Family/ Society, wherein all one focuses is ‘staying on the positive side! Be Happy! Seek for your own personal improvement!’ type of reality. But still, I was not satisfied.

 

I became a news fanatic when I was probably on my early teens and this was mostly beginning to wanting to understand the financial systems because of aiming at a career in such realms initially – obviously then veering off to the total opposite within hearing everyone say how I was absolutely ‘out of my mind’ if I even think I could create a change in this world – it bummed me out and that’s how I essentially Gave UP any form of actual career that would lead me to be In the system, the core of it in the money-markets and financial deals and veered toward that which I believed was more ‘humane’ such as socials sciences, ending up in literature and arts – which till this day even after all I see hold enough opening and consideration toward that which can create a change in this world if implemented at an educational level.

 

So this is a bit of a background of how I learned to ‘turn a blind eye’ on reality, essentially quickly conforming with everything that seemed like a ‘better option’ for me to take on in my reality, which suited what I was informed I had to aim at while growing up: being a successful person like my parents, in ‘whatever’ I decided to be and become. And I accepted that constant impulse as something ‘cool’ you know? Because I was being ‘cheered up’ by my parents every time that I ‘succeeded’ in my school, yet I always never felt quite happy with it, because I would go into ‘feeling bad’ about those that were behind me and were not even able of attaining a proper mark, even if I had witnessed they tried very hard to – and so this impotence grew and grew within me, not knowing why on Earth did I have it ‘so easy’ in  my life and others were struggling – and this, was my acceptance of ‘Heaven’  as something that was meant only for a few – and denying Hell as the reality of this world, as everything that I could see and perceive as being ‘behind me/ below me’ in any form of social taxation that I became aware of while realizing that there were kids my age – 6 –7 or even less – working on the streets, asking for food, asking for coins while their mothers fed babies next to them, on the sidewalk.  I allowed myself to just pretend that it is ‘fine’ and that they are somehow having to PAY for some awful act in some past life and that’s ‘why’ they are poor/ neglected and even receiving further abuse by the authority, the level of Injustice I became aware of really ‘brought me down’ into a constant state of depression and being sad about the state of the world, only later on and even today realizing/ remind myself how this is also a state of self interest, wherein I then certainly sought to escape from this reality through the realm of imagination, pictures, inspiration, seeking ‘beauty’ in this world where there was clearly non – all as a failed attempt to redeem life in one way or another, never ever considering to what extent I had ‘signed up the contract’ to be part of the ones that wanted to ‘change the world’ outside of ourselves, feeling ‘bad’ for the unfortunate ones and essentially committing myself to want to do some ‘good’ mostly from the starting point of me not feeling guilty for having had a rather privileged lifestyle, as opposed to what I would witnessed around me.

Continuation of the Elite Character

• 194. Let the Mask Fall!
• 195. The Righteousness of Evil
• 196. The Elitist Evil behind Relationships
• 197. Friends of Convenience
• 198. Wealth and Positivity a Synonym of Abuse
• 199. You Hate the Beautiful People?
• 200. The Make-Up Reality
• 201. Friends of Convenience: for a little piece of Heaven
• 202. Optimism as a Sign of Success

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I had to be and become ‘successful’ just like my parents, wherein this positive attitude and positive experiences was always linked to having money in our pockets and ensuring that we became ‘good savers’ and within that, giving some charity to those that had Nothing only to ‘share what we have’ without ever really considering how the very acceptance of us being able to give to ‘unfortunate ones’ that which we could spare them, implied the acceptance and allowance of inequality in this world as ‘how the system works’ wherein instead of learning about the creation of poverty and inequality that lead to social injustice, I con.formed to only feel ‘bad’ about them and give them money fro once in a while, giving  clothes away while creating an experience of powerlessness within me about them/ the unfortunate ones, which implies how I would only feel bad about them when being in their presence – yet remaining focused on my ‘aim’ to achieve my goals in life, which was mostly linked to being a good person/ doing good to others/ caring about ‘the world’ such as the environment, pollution – I did not even consider animals that much – and essentially creating this profile of being a ‘good person’ linked to success and most importantly, linked to a reward in the afterlife.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to brush aside the fact that I did believe in a light-realm where all the dead people would go to and I was aware of the so called ‘caves of darkness’ wherein I learned that people that had, for example, been participating in wars would go to, and that I would simply have to do everything I could to avoid going there – it wasn’t called ‘hell’ but just ‘darkness’ so, I had to avoid darkness which in this world translated to avoid ending up as a ‘no one’ with no-money/ no-light in this world and within that, see all people that were with no-light/ no-money and living on the streets, being absolutely helpless as people that had probably been inherently evil in some past life and within that justifying their existence as poor people/ unfortunate ones according to that ‘law’ which I later on became aware it was called karma.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to ‘do good’ in my life not because I genuinely cared about other beings, but because ‘I’ did not want to suffer and feeling bad when looking at them and realizing that I had ‘more’ than them – essentially thus any thought or intention of ‘doing good’ was directly linked to the inherent guilt and shame that I developed when and while growing up, due to me feeling powerless to do anything about their situation and as such, always only focusing on how I would experience myself toward the ‘unfortunate ones,’ and believing that I had to redeem Myself by being a good/ careful person even though I always felt awkward while pretending to be so, yet played the act because I wanted to be seen with ‘good eyes’ by society and ultimately by whatever force I was expecting on ‘the other side’ so, I did walk a life of ‘keeping score’ of being a good person, fearing doing ‘bad things’/ fearing ‘evil people’ and only promoting a way to ‘elevate ourselves’ in social conditions and even beingness such as being more ‘enthusiastic’ about life – wanting to ‘do good’ to the ‘less fortunate ones’ yet never in fact investigating what were the causes of their current unequal stance within the system, what was the reason why they were not being helped to have a dignified living and blatantly accepted then poverty just as part of my landscape, not bothering to question about it further because of not getting straight answers about it – thus con.forming, keeping quiet, turning a blind eye and instead focusing only on my personal world and satisfaction, escalating social statuses and aiming at all times to ‘be successful’ in whatever I decided to be and become.

 

I realize that my very starting point of ‘caring for others’ has never been something natural/ genuine to me, no matter how hard I tried to believe it was. But was mostly caused by the fear of having to ‘pay’ something/ someone in the afterlife for having been a ‘bad person’ such as having a ‘good life’ and in that, neglecting others’ realities such as the unfortunate ones, wherein I then tried to ‘do my part’ by seeking to oppose the system, criticize it, judge it and essentially pointing fingers at everyone else but myself, which is how I became self-righteous about my evil  (195. The Righteousness of Evil) and took it to the extent of denying vehemently that I was an equal and one participant of everything in this world that would case suffering, death, starvation in it – it really took me a while to understand how by just the single fact of me being Here as a breathing physical being, I was equally responsible for all that which I had turned a blind eye from for a very long time and how the very position of wanting to ‘do good’/ be a good person’ to the unfortunate ones was in fact blatant self interest, seeking to stop feeling ‘bad’ about those that had no money/ no support from anyone and within that, also earning ‘points’ toward a lightish/ heavenly experience, avoiding going to the ‘caves of darkness’ that I knew simply was something to avoid.

 

This became the foundation of ‘how I functioned’ in my reality, wherein for a long time what ruled me obviously was then only looking at the positive and doing essentially what I believed was ‘proper’ in terms of seeking to give charity/ support to the ‘less fortunate ones’ once that I had attained my elitist-supreme position that I did seek after in my mind/ imagination when thinking about professions and careers that I could direct myself to, which was not up to long ago some 6 years ago wherein I aimed at becoming a ‘well known’ artist so that I could then ‘speak up and change the world!’ because I apparently never stopped wanting to ‘make a change’ but I was precisely not wanting to give up my OWN benefits in order to see how everything works in reality and how I was directly responsible for that which I was trying to ‘save’ and ‘correct’ and ‘reform’ in this reality.

 

So, I commit myself to realize and accept the fact that I have never really genuinely ‘cared’ for other beings in an absolute unconditional manner, due to me always wanting to ‘add up to my score’ of doing something good to others, instead of realizing this is a matter of principle, of Understanding reality wherein once that you Understand, See and Realize how this entire existence functions, how the world system stems from our very relationship of the mind toward the physical, how energy and substance operate, what was heaven and hell and what they represent until today within our lives, how the world system functioned with a preprogrammed life path for all beings wherein there were by design some elitist beings that became the example and role model for the masses to attempt to ‘equate’ to  – while creating poverty, starvation, the ‘ostracized’ and marginalized people that were sustaining such wealth being absolutely disregarded out of the equation of any form of satisfaction and fulfillment. And within this all, realizing that there is No excuse at all to not stand up for life, not only because of it being our absolute responsibility, but because we are it – it is not even about creating a sense of ‘duty’ within it all, it’s about self-realization of us being that whole that is currently undergoing the ‘trials and tribulations’ that are nothing but the outcome of having lived entire lives only seeking to maintain an apparent ‘well being’ at the expense of others that were deliberately quieted/ shut down or even ostracized from the system in order for the majority to seek after the ‘good life’ here and in the hereafter, which became the most well known lie to be Sould in existence, not even only in humanity.

 

Thus I commit myself to realize that the starting point of myself within this process of Self-Equality and Oneness in Self Honesty implies realizing and recognizing the fact that one was initially motivated by obtaining something ‘good’ out of this, some form of ‘reward’ for walking process, without realizing that it is not about changing the world ‘out there’ for others, but changing My world With others – which is something you can read at Heaven’s Journey To Life which clarifies to the exact T. this subtle differentiation that makes actually a big difference with regards to the approach of ‘changing the world’/ wanting to go do good’ and all the points that we must consider before even being able to consider any form of ‘change’ within ourselves/ our reality.

 

I understand that Education is the fundamental aspect to this, as I am a witness of it myself. the more I educate myself about Reality with everything that is being presented as the Investigation of  Existence and this Reality through the Eqafe interviews, I become more certain about myself, my process, my understanding and playing my own ‘devil’s advocate’ to see where the hell there exist still any form of self interest to walk this process, which obviously cannot remain at all not a single iota of ‘convenience’ can determine my every move, otherwise it will be pointed out by myself in Self Honesty in order to realize that any form of Energy-seeking desire is Self-Dishonesty and that implies going to both the ‘good’ and the ‘bad’ as poles of the same energetic fix that the mind is always seeking for.

 

I commit myself to be absolutely self honest to any point of support that I commit myself to give to myself and share with others, in order to not create a certain persona of myself, standing up for ‘something good’ but simply realizing it is a single alignment and correction of how things should have always worked/ functioned in our reality. And this is then a matter of physical principles of living conditions, not of an egotistical approach to make ourselves feel ‘more’ than what we already are here.

 

I will continue  in the following posts debunking my acceptance of an elitist character within me, wanting to ‘do good’/ be good while still holding on mainly a personal self interest about it all to become ‘more’ than myself apparently.

 

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Human Resources: Social Engineering In The 20th Century

 

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• Valuing LOVE more than LIFE (Part 6): DAY 203

• Day 204: After Death Communication – Part 52

• Day 203: After Death Communication – Part 51

 

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MyKey is in the house again: 

• Demons in the Afterlife – Part 1
  

• When EMPTINESS is REAL – Life Review

• The little bit of Good frees me from ALL the Bad – Life Review

157. Wishing Well as Self Interest

Prayer as the Good doer character.

And the word in relation to ‘Good’ and ‘doing good’ is impair. And the first memory that popped up was how from the first day of school, we – my mother, my sisters and I, would pray ‘Our Father’ on our way to school which was the one and only daily approach I had toward the particular idea of ‘god’ as ‘our father.’ What’s peculiar about this is that we would add a few more verses wherein we would specially thank ‘god’ for taking care of ourselves and giving us food to eat – and the very last line was something along the lines of ‘and we specially ask you to take care of fill in the blank with impaired person/ problematic situation’ and this was usually the ‘awareness’ point of the day with regards to for example, some family member that was sick or having financial difficulties, mostly health problems and at the very end: ‘and for the children that have nothing to eat.’ And this is quite shocking now that I see it, how after thanking and praying/ honoring this almighty force at the very end we would pray for poor people, sick people, starving children = the impaired ones. And the feeling that I remember of this was a constant ‘ingrained’ sadness whenever we would remember about ‘the impaired ones’ in our prayers, while seeing such reality on the streets and once again, me just sitting comfortably next to my mother on her car and having a ‘cool life’ while believing that I was somehow a Good person because ‘Hey, at least I pray every day for Everyone’s well being, including those that have no money and no bread to eat every day.’

And within this, I can see the conflict toward poor people as a negative experience within me toward them – meaning experiencing sadness, sorrow and powerlessness – yet, I would also create an experience of compassion as a way to pretend that I care, but as we know: feeling bad, sorry and praying for ‘poor people’ changes nothing at all in this world. It in fact only exists as a ‘good-doer’ personality wherein we believe that we are somehow reaching ‘god’ through giving a shout out for people that have no money to live well, instead of ever pondering how it is that such people are deliberately left to starve or live on the streets and even worse, they have become part of the statistics that measure the economical development of a country.

 

Yes, I was probably only 4-5 years old when this routine began and probably ended when I was probably 11 or so. It was ‘the’  prayer, the only prayer we would do as that was given by Jesus and not the rest of the ‘blatant liars’ that  I was taught the church as institution was. So, I’d probably have to walk my relationship to Jesus at some point, and all the absolute draining experiences I would get whenever the ‘holy week’ would come and all these movies about his life simply saddened me a lot, while at the same time astonishing me in a way that was quite peculiar to relate to.  I guess that the relationship toward ‘those that killed Jesus’ as evil was realized in such movies, to what extent humans could be so vile to do all of that, and at that age one cannot really ‘fathom’ the whole thing – and it is certainly only now that we realize how we have ALL been the ones that crucified Jesus as the representation of the physical being nailed by the mind that drains the physical to live. A shocking story? Yes, more than any horror movie flick, really, because we’ve lived this/ embodied this without ever even been able to see/ realize or understand how we have always been silently killing us ‘softly’.

 

how such prayers can actually be conducted in a way wherein it becomes like a broken record, even though I used to imprint what I mimicked from my parents as  ‘faith and devotion’ toward that moment of the day which was ‘solemn’ in all ways – it was just 2 minutes of our day dedicated to ‘god,’ and that was the closest I got to religion throughout childhood, at least the catholic one – teenage years, another story as I went into a Jesuit school where the ‘good doer’ character will be very interesting to walk now that I see. For now, let’s walk the initial imprint of prayer as ‘doing good.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that praying as in saying words to wish for another’s ‘well being’ was in fact doing something ‘good’ to them, instead of realizing how within praying I was only creating a positive experience in relation to ‘thinking of others’ which is precisely what prayer is, just thinking, wishing and hoping for something or someone to ‘fix the problem’ toward and for those that we ‘include in our prayers,’ without ever questioning why it is that if there was ‘benevolent god,’ there was no ability to create solutions for those ‘in need’/ impaired ones, instead of having to be speaking out loud pleads to a non visible entity to do it for them.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that ‘I was closer to god/ heaven and ultimately a ‘good kid’ because of taking 2 minutes of our day to ‘pray for the well being of everyone’ including our family members, people that starve and have no money to live, without ever actually questioning why it is that we only care about ‘our family’ and why it is that the poor/ starving/ abused ones have no solution provided by ourselves as society, and instead only deviate the point to a non-existent/ invisible force to apparently do it for us.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually believe that I was in fact a ‘good person’ because of praying, without ever realizing or even considering how manipulative it is to create an experience of benevolence at the expense of those that in fact suffer and are in pain, with no money/ no support, no care from anyone within the same society wherein a vast majority would rather pray like me, and learn how to ‘ask god’ to solve the problems instead of seeing the common sense of how it is possible for us to exist within this comfortable blindfold of prayer without seeing any result from it at all.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever feel that I was a ‘good kid’ when becoming sad or feel ‘powerless’ about people that had no money, wherein I believed then that it was ‘a gift from god’ the fact that I was able to have a family, food, school, and essentially money from my parents to live, without ever really questioning the point further and taking parental answers as ‘truth’ to ‘make sense’ of the world, wherein I believed that people with ‘bad luck/ bad life’ were in fact ‘paying’ some sort of sin/ wrong doings in their life, which is how I accepted the law of karma as a way to justify poverty, abuse and ‘all the evil’ in the world in separation of myself, while proudly and modestly believing/ inferring that ‘I’ then was a ‘good person’ and had been a good person in past lives because I was having a good life in this life.

And it’s even the belief in past lives having an actual ‘weight/ meaning’ upon who I am today, which was also part of the belief system of spiritualism which I was more familiar with/ accepted more as a ‘truth’ due to familial relationships and acquiring such belief as ‘THE Truth’ as opposed to catholic church and any other belief that would indicate that I had to feel ‘guilty’ for my sins. I instead would embrace this ‘benevolence’ when/while ‘dedicating’ some time of my day to pray for those that have no money.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to pray as a credit/ credo/ belief added to myself in order to accumulate ‘benevolent points’ so that I could possibly get to a ‘heaven’ in the afterlife and then, possibly get a ‘better life experience in my next life,’ which is basically me acting in absolute self interest to only pray for ‘those in need’ in order to make myself feel good, feel like ‘I care’ and within that, feel good at the expense of those that actually suffer and that till this day, we hold the absolute responsibility to create a world system that is in fact able to Respond to their needs as a living right that must be given at birth, to support all beings equally as one – and this is not only a word-principle, but must begin within myself, to equalize myself as the life that I thought I could only ‘ask’ / pray or ‘wish good’ for instead of realizing that life is a physical aspect of living wherein no thought, no positive thinking, no ‘good wishing’ can in fact change the current situation of neglect, abuse and sorrow that is lived in the flesh of everyone in this world that is currently bound to money to life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, within this belief o doing good through praying/ wishing well to others, create a fluffy nice positive experience after the immediate shame/ guilt/ compassion would come when realizing that there were beings that had no food to eat, no school to go to, no parents, no house, no water and as such, thinking and accepting the belief that ‘god’ would somehow support them and take them out of the misery, which is a crime against life to abdicate our responsibility toward the impaired beings in society through believing that ‘they will be supported by a god, and somehow their problems would be fixed, without ever actually understanding, investigating or realizing how it is our responsibility as humans as co-creators of this world to ensure that all beings are supported, as there will be no need to pray for a god to save that which is physically here and able to be supported within a system that ensures All beings are equally supported, as the actual message of Jesus and Equality that has been crucified for so long in fact.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to never ask why it is that I was able to be comfortably praying and asking things to a god for those in need and what it is that made me different to them and that prevented them/ the impaired ones from having my comfort, my position, my money/parents to live as I do and instead, blindly accepted the belief that I simply had to ‘do good/ wish them well’ and the problem would be apparently sorted out.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to see prayer as something solemn and of great respect, without realizing how the entire prayer was a plea of self interest to only care for me/ my loved ones, that which ‘I care’ and that which ‘I am aware of,’ while wearing a suit of being a ‘good girl that cares for others,’ while in fact my actions, words and deeds throughout the day were of competition, rivalry, spitefulness and blatant self interest to always win no matter what, which are the behavioral patterns that are simply placed aside whenever wearing the ‘good doer’ personality. And within this also shoving aside the awareness of what I was doing in fact, as I became pretty aware of me being ‘double headed’ in terms of believing myself to be good and then seeing the absolute opposite existent within me, but somehow accept it because : everyone else was doing the same, and so I stopped questioning my own ‘two-faced value’ and neglected the reality that is here as myself, in every moment throughout my entire days.

 

I commit myself to Stop within me any sensation of ‘feeling good’ and even creating an entire benevolent character of myself whenever I see myself supporting someone o something to get done, as I realize that it is effective to at all times see these points as my responsibility, my self-commitment to life as one and equal, instead of doing it ‘for someone/ something’ in separation of myself.

 

I commit myself to see where and how even now, even if there are no more prayers or beliefs in some ‘outer source,’ the belief of doing good has become a ‘positive experience’ within me whenever I am looking for/ after my self interest instead of realizing that all that I do and that I don’t do has an effect and consequence for the whole to which I am equally a part of – hence, self responsibility implies no more creating experiences at a mind level within the ‘good doer’ character that only cares about its own ‘goodness’ and ‘inner peace’ while the world is in chaos, created by ourselves.

 

I commit myself to establish the Equal Money System as the commitment to live, work and do what we all were supposed to have done, been and lived by which is the law of Life in Equality in all ways, wherein there will be obviously no way to ‘gain points’ of ‘good doing’ through praying, there will be no positive experiences done from giving money/ charity to the impaired ones, there will be no need to hope and wish for something/ some benevolent force to solve the problems of the world as we will ensure that WE take responsibility for such problems in the world system, because we have accepted them, we have allowed them and as such, it is impossible now to turn a blind eye and pretend that thinking positive/praying/ asking the universe for things can in any way give food, water, shelter, clothes, education to those that have non.

 

this will continue…

 

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Day 47: Trust in a World of Money-matters

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blindly trust the world system I was born into and living in, because I was taught that the government is here to care for all us, to ensure that everything that requires fine-tuning to support the well being of individual’s lives and that all actions required execute this are conducted with no delay or hesitation, wherein all forms of poverty that I would witness in my surroundings became the acceptance of that which I thought was ‘unchangeable,’ because of believing that: if the government is here to protect us all, there must be something creating a great obstacle that is making it very difficult to change the current status of poverty in this country, and within that complying to the idea that there were ‘problems’ in the system that could not be solved, without realizing only the greed and desire for power over others were such ‘great obstacles’ that still remain as a way to justify the inequality in this world.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blindly believe that there were actual ‘impossible’ things to do/ conduct in order to create an actual well-being for all living beings in my world and reality, wherein I had deposited all faith that the government was doing all that they could in order to solve the problems in the world, without realizing that the government is simply the representation of our own abdication to us participating in the decision making and the responsibility that should be inherent to all individuals by mere virtue of coexisting as equal parts of this reality, wherein no ‘single organ’ can be made responsible for all the decision making and the actions to solve any problem – within this

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blindly accept ‘problems’ in the system as if it was an inevitable outflow of living in a world with many people, without ever questioning how it is that such problems have prevailed throughout history and there has been No Change and no definitive solution to them, wherein I accepted the inherent flawed quality of a system as a reality that could not be stopped, because of believing that politicians, people that were in charge of the institutions, law making and execution of justice were in fact doing ‘the best they could’ to solve such problems – without ever realizing that as long as there is a superior power over any form of law, principle or authority as what Money represents, we have abdicated our very own ‘right to live,’ and diminished it to a single side-viewed low-end experience of ‘living’ as survival-mode within a system wherein all problems stem from the inherent disregard of each others’ as equals.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to suppress the questions and observations about the world system that I had, because of the believe that I should trust that everything that is toward the benefit of all is invariably conducted to do so, without ever pondering why it is that we could have millionaires with exorbitant quantities of money – even more than ‘governments’ themselves – and have extreme poverty and starvation on the other side of the coin, which implies that the only interest that has always been at hand is greed and desire for power that is stronger than any best-for-all common sensical proposal that could benefit all individuals equally – within this

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to accept a world of extreme polarities such as wealth and starvation wherein the reality of ‘who I am’ is defined according to being in one point in between such monetarily-defined polarities wherein we have deemed ourselves as ‘not powerful enough’ to take responsibility for what we have accepted and allowed as a world-system

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that poverty was a real ‘problem’ that had skim to none solutions, while making it acceptable to see massive deployment of wars conducted with exorbitant amounts of resources, wherein the belief that ‘peace’ and the need for ‘defense’ against latent enemies had to be ‘prevented’ by waging wars before it happens, wherein I then accepted war as something more important than carrying out massive social enterprises to support millions of beings living in extreme conditions of poverty and starvation with no other means to fend for themselves but the occasional ‘food aid,’ while believing that I must trust what my government is doing and that ‘they know better,’ without realizing that this entire world system has been built upon abuse, to continue and perpetuate abuse, where no life has actually been supported in any way whatsoever

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become jaded to political decisions, wherein I made it ‘acceptable’ that wars were able to be conducted for decades, spending exorbitant amounts of money on weapons, sustaining military, living facilities abroad, chemical warfare investigation, all forms of supersonic transportations and the most Avant-garde technological research and production only in the name of waging wars/ killing people/ stealing resources – within this neglecting and deliberately ignoring the absolute common sense facts wherein: if there were real intentions to support human beings in extreme impoverishment = it would have been conducted  the same way that wars are executed promptly and using all necessary resources – even building the necessary means  to do so, wherein there is no skimping on funds to deploy massive operations where there is a juicy reward awaiting the final battle – whereas supporting fellow living beings in need would mean little-to-no benefit to those that would invest in taking entire countries out of chronic financial crisis and states of dependency to charity/ aid programs that didn’t, don’t and will not ever solve the problem at its root, which is not based on lacking resources or scarcity of means to distribute them, but simply not being willing to do so because there would be no profit-making out of supporting others –

 

I forgive myself that I have ever accepted and allowed myself to trust that the government/ the institutions were based on the benevolence to always ‘try and do good’ in this world, without ever actually investigating how all charity institutions and financial aid programs are based and created upon the sole purpose of re-inserting money back to the same monetary system that is preventing any form of real solution toward the billions of people that are having no means to live in dignity – within this

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dumb myself, blind myself and deliberately follow the absurdity of living in a world where all necessary cutting of public expenses are conducted in the name of deploying troops overseas in the name of so-called defense of ‘homeland security’ and exterminating ‘all threats to our liberty,’ without ever questioning why is it that the focus is on protecting ourselves from a man-made thread as knowledge and information that I have accepted as ‘real,’ while the actual physical and tangible need and lack created through the same monetary system that is being defended through/ by wars, is side- viewed as a ‘non of our business’ social and political problem in ‘other sides of the world,’ yet being willing to help and ‘liberate’ others just because in doing that, the reward implies massive gain in and of resources that will add up to the never-ending conquering state of accumulating wealth as a means of control/ power, which we all as individuals have accepted and allowed as the ultimate way to conduct ourselves in reality: seeking to make the most our of anything and anyone to always win.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately blind myself from investigating why wars are massively supported through psychological warfare, wherein fear is instilled as a form to trigger the most uncanny justifications to go and wage war against ‘an enemy’ that is also constructed in the name of vindicating the most vile acts in the name of power and control over and of money in this world, of which I as an individual have tacitly agreed upon the moment that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I only have the right to live if having enough money to do so – and in this, becoming part of the masses that justify all means to get to such desired end of being wealthy/ powerful and linking this to an inherent ‘well being’ and optimum condition of the human being, without ever realizing that the mere acceptance of power is implying obvious abuse toward those upon which power is exerted on.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having become a prey of my own fears when it comes to political warfare, as I had trusted that ‘the government/ people in power ‘know’ what they’re doing’ and within this blind faith and belief, never question their decisions as I thought that such national security defense-mechanisms were in fact to the benefit of protecting ‘myself’ and ‘my loved ones’ wherein I then, through accepting such threats as real, gave permission and support to the vindication of wars as a means to reinstate ‘peace,’ which means that I over-looked the actual needs and problems in this world that require massive attention ‘at home,’ and making myself belief that ‘the real problem’ was ‘outside’ of ourselves – in this

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be blinded by my own self interest, because: as long as ‘I’ am Not affected by such wars ‘at home’ – then I should not care/ worry or even ponder if it is the ‘right thing’ to do, because I am fine and being cared for  – thus it’s not my problem/ not of my interest – and through having followed this jaded perspective upon reality, I asserted myself as the selfish, self-seeking and self-indulgent individual that is willing to turn its back at the face of the most atrocious acts being conducted by self as fellow human beings, and walk way within the justification and excuse that ‘it’s not happening to me, why should I care?’ – wherein I then go back to my individual cave of security wherein money becomes the power to keep living in a self-interested greedy lifestyle, while in this same world, at the very same time, wars are being conducted in the name of keeping ‘my money’ as the ability to have power over others.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blind any form of care and consideration to study and investigate the world system and how it actually functions, due to the belief that its operational mechanisms were ‘out of reach’ for me, wherein I accepted then myself to see the authority/ government/ points of control as ‘superior’ to myself, and in that only ‘surrendering’ to accept the system ‘as is’ because ‘at least I have what I need to have a comfortable happy-go-lucky lives wherein I can comfortably watch wars being televised while I remain having food on the table, water, toilet, food, care, education and even entertainment to believe that ‘everything is fine’ and that I should not worry as ‘others’ are taking care of it all’   which implies accepting money as my god and savior and absolute disregard for anything or anyone that is being abused in the name of my personal power and satisfaction as the ‘god’ that I’ve been taught I can be when having enough money in my pocket.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I could trust that other human beings that were in specific positions to do so, would take care of solving the massive problems of poverty, starvation and abuse through creating laws and executing social, political and economical policies that would benefit the well being of human beings without any hold or hesitation, disregarding the fact that I live in a world where wars/ killing people is conducted with more ease than supporting people in extreme conditions of poverty, famine and abuse.

 

I see, realize and understand now that I have accepted and allowed knowledge as a way to justify the most atrocious acts upon humanity/ ourselves in the name of money, and that I have been tacitly agreeing to it the moment that I have accepted this entire world-system of money to run ‘as is’ – which implies that the only solution to this world is becoming an equal participant in the decision making of policies that apply to all through the review of laws and principles that can ensure the well being of all beings is actually executed and never tampered in the name of personal interest as a deliberate act of abuse and oppression in the name of money.

 

I commit myself to continue educating myself about the world system and how it actually functions, as I see and realize that this is the first step to ensure that I take responsibility to correct all the points that I had blindly accepted and allowed as laws, policies and enforcements that denigrated, abused and violated life in all ways – and within this, become the solution by first educating myself to become an active participant within the decision making in the world wherein within living in and by an equality-as-life principle, no further abuse will ever be perpetrated in the name of ‘power’ and ‘control’ – as all forms of power and control will be dismantled the moment that we start valuing Life as the one an only value in this world.

 

I commit myself to install direct democracy as a goal for all human beings to finally understand that we can only thrive if we all live by the principle of equal rights = equal responsibilities, wherein laws will be then written and applied according to a principle of supporting all living beings equally – and taking equal responsibility for the functioning and sustainability of a system that will take care of all within an actual living neighborism of giving to each other what we want for ourselves – thus voting/ selecting and deciding what’s best for all in mutual consent of such policies, laws and enforcements being standing in the best interest of all equally.

I commit myself to stop my inner-battles and participation in the constant seeking of ‘my own good’ and ‘my own benefit’ while neglecting the reality that I abuse in every moment that I seek to satisfy my personal interests at the expense of others beings’ lives.

 

I commit myself to expose how any attempt to ‘do good’ within the current system is a futile act of actual self interest, wherein any form of ‘good’ is created through a temporary relief that money provides, yet money in itself remains as the source of conflict, separation and abuse – which implies that I must create a reform in the system from within, beginning with myself as an individual that understands how the current monetary system operates – which means that I commit myself to install the Equal Money System as the only way and solution to the problems in this world, along with proper individual education wherein we can learn how to live and coexist as equals, which implies that: all that we will ever accept as the future of this world and for the children to come, is a process of Self-Correction in Self-Honesty until it is done – this is to ensure that life is never again placed in front of the barrel of a gun.

 

“Famine – FAM (family) IN E (separation) – Famine exist due, to / because of the family of humanity not standing in and as equality and oneness, where we’re supposed to exist in equality and oneness – not leave any one behind, but the family of humanity has separated into families that only protect their own possessions as children, that eventually become possessed by the same mental state/condition of survival, protection and defense at the cost/expense of other human beings’ lives…time to sort out the families, and expand family to humanity, stop possessing children to let them stand as the future of this world in fact, until we live so – that no one is ever left behind again” Sunette Spies

 

 

Blogs that explain HOW we have abdicated our living authority to the mind authority:

• Day 46: TRUST ME!

• Day 39: Is Charity Greed?

• 
  

  Day 45: Life is the ONLY REAL VALUE

• Consciousness Energy-Authority – Conclusion: DAY 46

• 2012 The Reward World War

• Day 40: The You-Diss-All System in Me

• Day 11: I.O.U. Life as a Debt System of Power

• War Stops Here

• Witnessing: You’re Equally Responsible

• Anger towards Authority

• Birth Life – Not War

Day 47: The Evil Individual

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/05/day-47-evil-individual.html#

The Prophets of Damnation: DAY 47

http://heavensjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/05/prophets-of-damnation-day-47.html

 

Documentaries:

The Trap and The Century of the Self

Psywar – Full Documentary

 

Interviews:

The Consequences of Survival : the battle for survival only exists as a mind-driven parasite that has No physical common sense  – lessons from the human physical body and how it functions in an optimum way due to not being existing in inner battles of overpowering and subduing others. – 

 

Life Review – An Elite Philanthropist why giving money away to charities is supporting wars and the same monetary system that is owned by the elite. This series is the education required in this world to empower individuals within one single principle: Life in Equality as what’s best for all.

 

VLog:

2010 Equal Money System: WAR is Unacceptable – YouTube

2012 Gun Culture in America – YouTube

 

 

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War Stops Here

Images speak for themselves this time.  All I have to say is that the images depicted in this video sum up most of what we often disregard within our reality, yet it is happening all the time without us even knowing – most of the times not even caring to know about it.

As Desteni and the Equal Money System group, we are advocating Life in Equality wherein all forms of current harm and abuse will cease to exist once that we learn how to live as Equals, giving to each other what we want for ourselves, wherein there will be no more reasons to fight against each other to have what all will receive in Equality.

I was profoundly moved by James Nachtwey’s work and words to become part of the people that dedicate their lives to expose the reality that we live in and that it is not often showed in your regular me-die. It was only after watching Nachtwey’s photographs and documentary that I found the images that could match what this song sounded to me, had to wait for over 5 years to finally make a video for it.

War within, War without
We only have this One Life to Stop for once and for all.
This is the result of a history of abuse, slavery, war, famine and revolutions in an attempt to dignify life in this world.
Conflict begins within ourselves due to the inherent separation toward each other and this world without ever questioning the origin of it. War against others is always war against ourselves, what we see is ourselves, our creation.

Our thoughts create our reality – this world is proof that we must STOP within ourselves first.

I don’t accept and allow this continue in this world that is me,
No one Will Be Free until ALL is considered Equal as Life.
Allowing abuse toward another is allowing Self-Abuse.
This is what we’ve become and we’re Here to Stop it forevermore.
Taking Self Responsibility is our human duty – be part of the change we want to see in this world.

Take a moment to HEAR Nachtwey’s experiences and stories about his career as a photographer and an example of how we can all care to speak up/ share what is going on in this world and become part of the voices that stand up for Life.
James Nachtwey’s searing photos of war http://www.ted.com/talks/james_nachtwey_s_searing_pictures_of_war.html

Support the Equal Money System because all of these conflicts, wars, famine, slavery and suffering stem from an inherently flawed make-believe system based on debt, interests and greed. We Can Change this System if we All Agree that what is HERE in this Earth must be Equally-distributed to everyone, as a living-right. For more information, visit: http://www.equalmoney.org

Learn more about the Equal Money System at
http://wiki.destonians.com/Equal_Money_System
Equal Life Foundation: http://equallife.org/

This make believe system of separation must cease to exist in order to pave the way of Equality as Life where no more dissonant values will be imposed on to life.
http://destonians.com/

Join Desteni to support yourself

to start to Live and develop common sense as the consideration of what’s best for All as Equals.
Go to the forum for further discussion:
Desteni Forum http://www.forum.desteni.org

My Equal Money Blog:
http://www.marlenlife.wordpress.com Equal Money System for ALL Life

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/marlen.delrazo

YouTube:
http://youtube.com/MarlenLife
http://youtube.com/MarlenVargasDelRazo
http://youtube.com/MarlenAntiHate http://youtube.com/Miniexperimentalfilmhttp://youtube.com/Milklatte
http://www.milklatte.blogspot.com

James Nachtwey’s Photography and Music by Godspeed You! Black Emperor ‘Sleep’

“I have been a witness, and these pictures are

my testimony. The events I have recorded should

not be forgotten and must not be repeated.“

-James Nachtwey-

Newborn in Equality–No More Crimes Against Life

Equality seems  an empty word when not related directly to ourselves  as who we are – it seems like simply one of those words that have no direct ‘image’ related to it  and thus the entire meaning is lost because we then only create Equality at an ‘image’ level  as ‘sameness’ – not at an actual-essence of who we are. We’ve only fairly recently – amazingly late I’d say -  how we exist as One and Equals – and this considering not only the physical level as living breathing tissue  but the essential level of ourselves existing here as the entirety of existence – same Earth, same place, same resources, we breathe the same air – though we’ve separated ourselves completely from ourselves through money that is actually innocent in itself, but it’s the way that we use it the one that creates the entire fuckup.

Humans and addictions are one intricate relationship that is seldom question to its core –

We can’t possibly continue existing in such separation from everything we eat, from losing awareness of all that which we use every single day which is here as ourselves, as life, as that unconditional point of Support that is Here for us at the moment to support our lives so that we can dignify this life that we are using – and currently mostly abusing – to finally agree that we have to Support All Life Equally and thus Stop the Enslavement of ourselves as the entirety of this system within its mechanics of abuse, of superiority, of delusions of grandeur  that create by default suffering, abuse and ultimately, the inability to ever know what actually Living means!

It’s INSANE to see to what extent we’re separated ourselves, to even realize that Consciousness that is a finite automated system is far greater than us might raise some questions towards anyone that defends any type of human evolution, any type of idea of human as superior species – no way, host is it possible that we are even currently less than a system that stores information to simply use it when proper stimuli is in the environment ? is that actual existence? is that’ really living? Is that even real communication or is it simply programs re-creating the same programming to relate one’s own existence amongst others? That’s not really being HERE, that’s Thinking that we are here, we are essentially self-centered mind-machines that are used to relating to the world at a single Thought level, never at an actual Physical integration with everything that is HERE as Self – one and equal.

Insane it is that we’ve never actually realized the simplicity of that until now – and even ‘realizing’ it at a thought level doesn’t imply that we can immediately LIVE as LIFE because we have to yet disengage from all the relationships we’ve created as our own ‘social network’ that we exist as within our own mind and not even towards ‘other beings’ but existent as our own words, as our own images, experiences, preferences, opinions, beliefs that we’ve acquired and identified as ‘who we are’ – Really?

Getting to actually Live, getting to THAT requires major changes and transformation from the very moment a mother bears a new life in the womb.

VItal immediate changes have to exist in parents that are going to be bringing forth new life into this world – this is paramount to understand as a great part of a human’s inherent conditioning comes from the very first years of how they live, the childhood they have and thus it’s obvious how bringing a child into this world, having to livie within a broken home and with parents that can’t even deal with their own mind/emotional problems is really a crime against life – I cannot fathom how people that barely have anything to eat get pregnant and thus, bring an equally starving child to this world – this is something that breaks my heart if that can figuratively explain how much we disregard the actual solutions that have to exist – and all because we’ve never considered how important it is to Educate people, to explain how it is possible to prevent unnecessary births into this world!   Bringing a new life to an environment where no food, no water, no proper hygiene is in place, no proper housing, no proper clothing, no proper mental sanity is in place is a crime against life –

I am basically getting to this topic due to seeing my sister being pregnant and seeing how her baby will be born into a golden crib wherein she’ll have more than what she actually needs and how she’ll be living in a bubble where all protection is given, where all food, all entertainment, all best education is available – a ‘fortunate one’ that might get to be yet another one that disregards the reality of this world – I will make sure that she gets to have a reality check out of the bubble that is already existent as the entire home and environment she’ll be born into. Pff!! and thinking that she is one in thousands that will be coming into this world this year – probably millions -  one of the very few ones to have it all – and all just because of money.

It is OBVIOUS there should be no difference in the conditions that babies are born into – how delusional is to see that we accept to see inequality as one baby being born into a golden crib and another being born into mud and tears? How is this possible? How is it that we see ‘how things are’ and never ever ponder what happened to our Equality?

And yes that’s a line from the Equality Song because we are HERE to make sure that no baby has to see themselves being born into a world where crimes against life are created every single second, where violence is the daily bread fed on the media, where life conditions are decided by paper and coins that are made available only for some, wherein their entire lives are doomed to pay debt, to work as a slave with no ability to overcome their position.

This Must Stop and we are Here as the Key that Changes this Reality into an actual Living Equality as Life For All – because I am not willing to continue living in a world wherein children are born into mud and tears just because we are doing nothing about it and accept inequality as how things are.

Unacceptable.

All Beings are Equal – All Life is Equal – Support the Equal Money System to finally STOP the crimes and abuse against LIFE.

We seriously have to get down to the very basics of understanding 1+1=2