Tag Archives: stopping

413. First Steps to Living Leadership

 

One of the conditions that we have quite embedded within ourselves is hierarchy, the idea that there is always someone above us that we must follow/take orders from/obey and that someone is apparently always the one that is supposed to keep things ‘under control,’ to provide a sense of security and care as this overall omnipotent person or organization that we all make ourselves dependent on. In this, when we ‘follow’ we make of ourselves –by default – inferior to such idea of being ‘the leader’/a leader and within that, even if we have the most genuine intention to change the world, we continue being enslaved by our inherent learned programming of ‘following’ and waiting for others to take the first step.

 

In this process I’ve used comparison as a form to keep myself in a very comfortable position of believing that ‘well, others know better than me, why should I bother to take such position?’ ‘Oh well, I am not as good with communicating that, such person is better at it, so, why should I?’ ‘Oh, but, I don’t have the overall existential context of this, so my perspective is not as holistic as it should, so I rather leave that to another person that can give such perspective’ and so forth. This had prevented me from actually realizing that in these very excuses and justifications, I was rendering myself as ‘inferior’ in a deliberate manner which is not only inferior to this/that person, but simply by perceiving myself as inferior/ not  yet good enough to keep myself in the background, to simply continue ‘following the leader’ so to speak.

 

What I have realized this is that the sole idea of a ‘leader’ as one single person already creates a point of separation, rendering unique abilities to one person or one organization, one ‘entity’ person or ‘god’ for example and in this the rest can remain comfortably ‘shadowed’ by this leader figure, which is why we become too complacent in a job that requires the least effort or responsibility, the least challenges. We fear change, we fear getting to know new people, we dislike breaking our routine/our known ways, disrupting our ‘territory’ and so remaining in the comfortable status quo is precisely what keeps running this world system as is: because we don’t challenge everything we see requires to be changed. It’s not the ‘few world leaders’ that keep it the way it is: it is our complacency, our apathy, our decision to live by the ‘law of the least effort’ and so avoiding responsibility and participation in the matters that pertain to our lives at all cost, not realizing that the ‘cost’ is high when it comes to merely following: the decisions, the contracts, the laws, the entire structures we continually comply to as our acceptance and allowance are not functioning in the best interest of all. The real cost is then life itself: our own disregard for life, for one another which is creating the hideous consequences we can all read about day by day in the news and world events. Why hasn’t anything changed then!? Well, because we simply haven’t stepped up to live the word Leadership.

See, instead of holding an image of this ‘omnipotent’ charismatic leader idea of individual/entity that we see as ‘leader,’ I suggest stripping the word to its basic meaning so that we can instead not believe we have to become yet another ‘character’ as a leader, but simply Live the word Leadership.

 

 

How to practically Live Leadership from the ground up?

Well, what I’ve realized is that because we have created such ginormous idea of what ‘being a Leader’ is or what ‘leadership’ implies, we become subject to our own fantasies, projections, beliefs, prejudices and in doing so, we separate ourselves from living the word leadership as the basic realization of each one’s inherent potential that exists within us by the virtue of being alive, being in a physical body, having a mind and using our will to become self-directive. Ok, so that’s the first point – you can check for yourself now: are you a breathing living human being? Can you see yourself being able to think and speak and direct your body according to what you decide to do in your thoughts OR are you being automatically driven to do/say/think things without you fully being aware of it? This is a first assessment of the physical ‘hardware’ we essentially require as ingredients to Live the word Leadership: to realize we have a body, we have a mind, we have our will.

Now, in terms of the ‘software’ here comes the tricky part. We have been essentially indoctrinated from the beginning of our time to believe that some priest, king, emperor, chief, master is always meant to be the head of the tribe/group/society and so lead the way – in this we never have in fact questioned such position: how did they get there? Did they get any ‘special knowledge’ beforehand? Are they in fact ‘the most well adapted individuals?’ ‘Did they use force to get to such position of ‘power and control’? We haven’t really questioned this in depth; we just took such positions for granted. So with having lived this way throughout most of our lives, we have then become subject to our own faulty programming: we have never been taught how to live the word leadership, how to not wait for others to ‘show us the way’ but use our basic physical hardware as our body, our mind, our will to do things and getting it done along with the investigation, research, trial and error processes that doing any sort of task or work involves, which includes of course even the changing of our individual mind patterns as well.

This is why we have to be very patient with us when it comes to wanting to live the word leadership: we first have to run a ‘defragmentation’ of our ‘disk’ as our mind patterns, our prejudices, judgments and experiences that we have attached to the idea of a leader or leadership in separation of ourselves, seeing it as something ‘superior’ or ‘too much’ or ‘frightening’ or ‘intimidating’ or any other adjective and/or emotional or feeling experience we have attached to it, which is then what one can see, investigate and realize as the limitation it creates within oneself when it comes to ‘placing ourselves in the shoes of the leader’ and so, what we do in such emotional experience or prejudices is that we separate ourselves from Living the word Leadership. All of these judgments, ideas, beliefs have to be thrown to the garbage for the past preprogramming they have been, for the self-disrespect they imply in terms of the limitations we impose to our body, our mind and our will. For this, we have the tools of writing, applying self-forgiveness for having accepted and allowed such limitations within ourselves and so, realizing that once that we have cleared out our viruses and old software, we now have a clean slate to write our own application as the way we see we can begin integrating the word Leadership in our day to day Living.

It is fascinating but one can jump into conclusions or future projections on how ‘Living the word Leadership’ will imply immediately taking some sort of ‘presidential’ position in your community or in your house or in a group or else – but nope, the actuality of this is that one truly first requires to focus on oneself: to become the directive principle of our lives in every moment that we are breathing, here, alive, physically present. Why? Because when one is only parroting the old patterns running in auto-pilot mode, the old ‘me’ that stood as a follower to my own thoughts, what I believe I feel or experience about myself then I simply re-load the obsolete program as ‘the old me’ and continue running this ‘me’ as the automated ‘app’ we have reduced ourselves to –  and in this I also then keep my environment, my surroundings, the people I interact with in that same mentality as well: we keep each other caged in this same old patterned reality where we blindly follow ‘everything we’ve ever known, everything we’ve ever been,’ which is the who we are as our mind, as all our perceived ‘lacks’ and self-judgments, comparisons, rivalry, superior/inferior mentality, specialness, indifference, apathy, superiority, etc.

So, within keeping ourselves in the ‘old frame of mind,’ it becomes rather impossible to live the word Leadership, because the first step is to actually Lead ourselves ‘out of the mind and into the physical’ which is not some kind of magical statement or involving anything else other than stopping ourselves from following our thoughts, our feelings, our emotions, any form of confusion, friction and conflict and focus on our ability to make a conscious decision to STOP running in the speed train of emotions and feelings, to STOP playing that ‘old me-record’ and decide to orchestrate a new tune, a new move, a new me, a new approach to the ‘same old’ and so really put the effort to create a solution in our lives, in such moment, in such situation or with such individual/s. This is how we can then begin challenging ourselves in a way that it becomes a learning and expansive process each day. It’s interesting how one can ever perceive ‘boredom’ outside of ourselves as if ‘the world is boring’ and so go seeking ‘positive experiences,’ without realizing that the we are the ones that create the boredom by becoming subject to our own ‘known ways,’ the same old ‘paths’ and predictable behaviors and not really using every day to innovate, to challenge ourselves, to step beyond the limitations we saw within us the day before, to see our day to day as an opportunity to challenge everything we’ve ever known and so in doing this genuinely see how an opportunity to let go of the limitation steps forth.

 

Self Responsibility comes First

This can be an expansive and learning process that can be lived in many ways ‘toward others’ or ‘outside in the world’ as well, but the first point will always be to start leading our way within ourselves: self first, which is: becoming self-directive in our own minds, to have the volition to not follow the ‘same old me’ and play the broken record that I know where it’s going to lead me, but to rather use the moment, the life that I have to expand, explore, do things, learn from mistakes, learn from others, interact and within doing so already leading ourselves outside of our comfort zone, which is the mind, the known, the unchangeable, the false-sense of security we have in our ‘known ways.’ 

About the word ‘Leadership’ – It is truly a word that I recommend us all to practice living it, becoming it within its most simplistic consideration at this stage which is to ensure that one is not ‘being ridden’ by the mind, but that one is first of all clear, stable, grounded here – absolutely here – and aware of every word, experience, movement, decision that we make, assessing at all times ‘what is my starting point for doing/saying this? Where is this want/need/desire coming from?’ ‘what is the starting point of me saying/doing/acting in this way toward this person/that situation?’ ‘Is this decision or consideration something that is beneficial for myself and others?’ ‘Am I actually considering living principles here and preventing consequences?’ ‘How can I best learn from this mistake and redirect it toward a solution?’– This is then when we stop seeing the decision to ‘live a word’ as some kind of magnificent plan in separation of ourselves, but we actually first of all focus on living it ourselves in every moment of the simplicity that implies breathing, assessing one’s very next move and so see one’s entire day as a blank canvass where we always can decide when, how and why we paint the next stroke – in the end, we will have to live with ourselves as our creation, so why not take the wheel instead of sitting in the backseat to ensure we can be entirely sure that what we live and create is entirely our set of decisions/our mistakes/our challenges/our learned processes, ensuring that we truly gave our 100% to our process of self-creation.

I challenge myself here the same way that I was once challenged by one great man that left the Earth one year and some days ago. In that moment I knew: we have to all pitch in, this is it! To live leadership, to learn how to trust my decisions, my principles, testing what works, to not allow any belief or experience to hinder my experience and if so, assessing, aligning, correcting, debugging and taking the next breath to keep moving on. Life is not difficult, life is not a struggle: we are the ones that have ‘made’ it this way, so it is in our hands to make it a truly enjoyable, learning, productive and challenging experience for ourselves as human beings throughout our lifetime.

So, let’s ensure we can do this for ourselves and for the generations to come.

 

 

 

To learn more about Self-Leadership:

Advertisements

227. Are We Addicted to our Emotions and Feelings?

Elitist Character: Drug Culture – Energy Addiction as our Self-Consuming Demise – Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Application

Continuing from:

 

Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements on Energy-Participation in the Mind:

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from myself through a thinking and experiencing process that happens at a mind level wherein I have tacitly agreed to consume my physical substance/ the life essence as the fabric of my physical body for the sake of thinking, feeling, experiencing myself As the mind that is a system that requires energy to exist, and for energy to exist, friction and conflict must exist, without ever realizing the consequences that there exist at a physical and existential level of my own accepted and allowed participation in energy.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize and integrate the understanding of how energy is created through friction and conflict imposed by the mind upon the physical body and in this, continuing to participate in thoughts, emotions and feelings that I simply would not absolutely and diligently Stop in a self-directive decision, which is how and why we have accepted and allowed ourselves to ‘become addicts’ to our own mind and within this becoming addicts to/ obsessed with that which we allowed ourselves to diminish to a single energetic experience in our minds that we experience as ‘feeling good’/ having a good time, which is always an assessment that must be self honestly reviewed in order to see where and how we have participated in the mind.

 

When and as I see myself leaving a leeway or a ‘flexibility’ to my own stopping of thoughts and internal conversations that lead to emotions, feelings or imaginations, I stop and I breathe – I direct myself to breathe in and out deeply until I am aware that the energy / point that emerged dissipated and I am back here as the physical paced of breathing, wherein I ensure my muscles are relaxed, I am in a comfortable position and I am directing myself to do what is here to be done/ directed in my reality.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that every time I am in my mind creating experiences toward a piece of information/ words that I read, or toward another being or the environment, I am reducing physicality to a single stream of knowledge and information within my mind,  that in no way represent who I am as a physical being as one and equal to everything that I am thinking of or becoming emotional, or creating feelings about, but that this only benefits the configuration that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as a mind-system that reacts with thoughts, emotions and feelings to knowledge and information that I then convert into an experience later on filed and stored as memories, pictures, sounds in order to identify ‘who I am’ toward reality according to the reactions I have programmed myself to exist as.

 

When and as I see myself participating in thoughts, internal conversations, backchat, reactions toward something/ someone in my mind, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am diminishing physical reality to a single stream of knowledge and information which is Not Real here as the physical and instead, realize I am one and equal to everything to everything that I am aware of in that moment as the substance of the physical that we are all made of. Within this, the only practical assessments I can do, are based upon common sense which is the way in which I direct myself to stand one and equal to my mind in order to no longer be ‘fed’ with experiences of emotions and feelings that I am not directing, but instead I become the directive principle of every single aspect I decide to participate in.

 

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Create Energy from my very own participation in thinking and internal conversations wherein through participating in the thoughts that get to be in my conscious mind, I am already accepting and allowing myself to be the subconscious and unconscious mind, which implies that the process of becoming energy exists every time that I think, have internal conversations/ backchat, go into an experience or behave in a particular way according to a determined context in my reality, which implies that I am defining ‘who I am’ according to How I Assess reality through the mind, instead of being here physically present, constantly and consistently no matter where or with whom, as the physical in itself adapts to physical conditions, not mind-created experiences according to how it perceives itself based on other beings or a particular environment, which means that I am the only one that is participating in defining ‘who I am’ according to ‘where I am.’

 

When and as I see myself creating a particular different experience within me according to who I am with or where I am in, I stop and I breathe. I realize that in this slight difference I am participating in, I am not existing here as a physical being but as the mind with its various personalities that I direct myself to stop and instead, focus on the practical reality wherein I realize that I don’t require to portray myself within a particular experience in order to interact with others, as being physically here and speaking in common sense is all that is required when it comes to Living Life.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to cultivate the personalities that I thought I was ‘free to build’ and construct for myself, due to having seen everyone else doing it, so why wouldn’t I? which is then complying to the social norm of fixating into my own personal creation of ‘who I am’ as the mind with emotions and feelings due to the value and regard feelings and emotions are given by people in our world, wherein someone that would Not ‘feel’ or become emotional, was seen as ‘cold’ or ‘distant’ or ‘jaded’ which is what I feared being and becoming – therefore

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever fear existing without emotions and feelings and be seen as cold and jaded in my reality, without realizing that it is through this collective agreement of existing as personalities of the mind, that we have collectively agreed as well to the ongoing self abuse that stems from such self-definitions at a mind level wherein the physicality that enables such self definitions to be fulfilled, is destroyed, annihilated and consumed as this point of identification is what creates separation – and that is through thinking and thinking is a mental process which implies Energy.

 

I commit myself to breathing in order to establish myself as the physical wherein I am no longer participating in the thoughts, backchat or internal conversations and instead, ensure that I am here as the physical wherein I am able to be aware of my breath and my surroundings moment by moment, where no ‘waves’ exist within the physical other than the constant movement in and out of breath as the actual vital sign that I am here and I am alive – I don’t require any emotion or feeling or thought to confirm so.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never consider the effects and consequences I would have to walk through at a physical level due to participating in the mind as thoughts, backchat, internal conversations because of having admitted such activity of ‘thinking’ as ‘who I am’ and believing that I was doing ‘no harm to anyone by just thinking’ which is one of our usual excuses to not stop and realize that every time that we think, we are not here as our physical body and that we were most likely never going to notice unless we would be able to realize the consequences of participating within energy of the mind later on in life and then blame other factors such as food, pollution, stress or any other external environmental condition, without realizing that every detrimental aspect to ourselves as life, begins at the level of one single thought that already indicates a separation of ourselves from the physicality that does not require to ‘think’ to live, but simply move as self in order to continue existing, which is then focusing on vital processes and activities that support life in itself and within this

I commit myself to stop every time that I see myself thinking within the realization that it is Not Me making a decision to have these internal conversations that come out of nowhere, therefore, I stop within the realization that participating in such mind-chats means I am abdicating the responsibility and the hereness of being Here as breath as my physical body. Thus, I direct myself to think and use my mind as a tool in order to Live in Common Sense

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow the energy experience that rises and that I participate in every time I direct myself to go seek in the web for something that will trigger a sense of excitement within me, which I realize is not me making a decision to have a moment to entertain myself, but that this usually comes when I am in the middle of doing something that is implying me-facing-myself and my responsibilities, which implies that every time I give into these distractions, I confirm that I am in fact opting to go for the Energetic experience  – thus

 

When and as I see myself wanting to go and visit certain websites wherein I can read or look at pictures or hear music that I know will make me feel ‘good’ for a moment when I am busy with my responsibilities, I stop and I breathe – I realize that in deciding to ‘go for it’ I am implying that I would rather participate in energy than being here as breath directing myself physically – thus I stick to breathing in and out until there is no movement left as a desire that comes up in the mind and stick to what I am already physically directing myself to do.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to be absolutely directive with every single surge of the slightest energetic experience that begins arising within my mind and instead of being absolute and dedicated to stopping it absolutely, I left a leeway which is walking the middle road to not be absolute and dedicated to stopping all thinking and walking this process selectively, as there are definitive feelings and even emotions as well that I allowed myself to participate in – within this

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be Self Righteous about my experiences and justifying my participation in the mind wherein I would simply not be absolute to stop All participation but still leave an ‘open door’ to that which I thought, believed and perceived would not be ‘detrimental’ to my process, without realizing that the more we allow ourselves these ‘little participations in the mind,’ the more we accumulate energy to that particular thought/ emotion/ feeling that we believe is ‘who we are,’ and within that, before we realize it, we’ve lost ‘track’ of ourselves and have become that thought and embodied it to the point wherein now stopping it is more difficult because of all the extent of time and space that I have given away deliberately to participate in the mind, wherein I literally feed my obsessions and disregarded for such moments my physicality and everything that I am aware of within this process

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I had a ‘right’ left to have a bit of excitement in my life and indulging in fleeting moments of thinking, becoming emotional or experiencing feelings, which are all stemming from the same processes in the mind wherein there are no ‘innocent’ experiences as I diminished them to be, or ‘natural’ energetic experiences, as I see, realize and understand that All energetic experiences are in fact only existent through the same processes that Any other emotion, feeling, thought, backchat, internal conversations and memories exists as.

 

I commit myself to apply myself within an absolute awareness of myself in every moment, as much as I do when I am participating outside with people, wherein I am aware of every blink of an eye, every breath, my entire physical posture and breathing and walk that into a point of comfort within and as myself no matter if I am alone or ‘with people’ so that I don’t create a personality of ‘awareness’ but instead equalize my self awareness at all times throughout the day, getting myself back to breathing every time that I ‘wander off’ in my mind, missing out on physical reality.

 

I commit myself to be and become alert, aware and specific within my participation in my  mind in order to spot all slightest changes of self-experience which means going into a reaction and identify who I was with, what did I see, what thought crossed my mind, what did I read, what was the last interaction with another being, what am I not directing effectively that is keeping me in a ‘bound’ experience to the mind, which is then the process of writing, self forgiveness, self corrective application as the tools to see the points for myself-

I realize this is the most beneficial point I can do for myself whenever I see that there is something I am apparently ‘not seeing’ or ‘being aware of,’ but all that happens is that when I try to make sense of it in my mind only, it remains without any actual physical consideration because it goes away as the thought that it is as a conclusion and realization which is how I require to write it all out, place it in front of me to be and become aware of my own words/ my own ‘script’ at a physical level and within that, self forgive it, correct it, breathe and integrate the self corrective statements as my application from here on, which always implies a dedication to breathing and remaining here, physically.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to the experiences that I have cultivated in my mind, specially those ones that I became self righteous about within the belief that I could just ‘keep this little piece of heaven’ within me, which is the same as leaving a back door for abuse to continue while already being aware of the extent of abuse that we are imposing onto ourselves and each other just because of this self righteous identification of who we are as our mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to identify ‘thinking’ with an entertaining process wherein through imagining and projecting things I would get a sense of upliftment, excitement and even comfort that I defined toward a situation, events, people, activities, foods, entertainment that I have turned into mind-drugs for my personal satisfaction, which implies that I have agreed to abuse and continue abusing myself and others when not honoring life as one and equal with myself but, remain within a self-righteous mode in my mind to continue creating these positive experiences in my mind as a ‘temporary high’ of which it would then take a greater effort to ‘step out of,’ due to the extent of ‘comfort’ that it is to be only imagining, thinking, projecting, picturing events, situations, experiences in our minds while missing out the physical reality that is certainly not going to generate any ‘positive ‘experience’ however, it is to realize that it is through that chasing after the ‘positive experience’ that we have agreed to consume the physicality that we are in order to feed our minds to generate experiences in self interest. Thus

When and as I see myself ‘making it okay’ to continue indulging in an activity/ thinking process/ day dreaming  – I stop and I breathe – I realize that this ‘personal entertainment’ has consequences at a physical level that I am not absolutely experiencing, but am aware of, and this is the point wherein knowledge is placed into application and as such, as I see and realize that I am separating myself from the physical every time that I think, feel, become emotional or participate in imagination and backchat, which is then a process that I must ensure I stop in an absolute manner to assist and support myself to be here as breath, supporting myself as life as what I  really am.

 

I commit myself to stop any positive experience, no matter how ‘little’ or ‘innocent’ it may seem as I realize the level of precision and diligence, that I must live by and apply as a continuous self-movement of which I won’t get any positive experience out of, lol, but it is a self-decision made in common sense and within the realization that I am not willing to continue abusing myself, this reality as everything and everyone that I have reduced to knowledge and information that I have reacted toward in a positive or negative experience in my mind for my own personal vicarious pleasures as everything that I had defined the thinking and becoming emotional and creating feelings to be like – this is the point that must be ‘given up’ in an absolute manner in order to be able to stand here ‘absolutely’

 

I realize that it is ‘hard’ initially to let go of that which makes us ‘feel so good,’ but once that we understand how such fixations are only here existent through our own abdication to life, it is a decision made in Self-Honesty and Integrity to decide to stand up as a physical being that will no longer be an automated robot that will be triggered with emotions and feelings and thoughts about self as this entire reality, but instead establish oneself as the actual integrity/ completion that one is able to exist as when being here breathing and having no ‘waves’ in our waters moving, which menas, having no thoughts, feelings, emotions, worries, concerns or desires, wants, needs –  but simply being here. This is what I realize is the most absolute way to be here and when one is diligently integrating oneself as the physical, the energetic experiences feel like a drug throughout the physical body and it’s certainly not a nice experience, and within that

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create a ‘feeling bad’ experience out of the energy that I created myself and that I experience within my physical body as a poison or drug of sorts, without realizing that created it for myself and that ‘feeling bad’ about it is only wanting to victimize myself for something that I inflicted upon me – thus

 

When and as I see myself ‘feeling bad’ for experiencing the result of thinking / participating in the mind in a constant and continuous basis, I stop and I breathe – I realize that ‘feeling bad’ is still another mind experience and not an absolute stopping here as breath to move physically to assist and support myself to stabilize myself here and remain breathing to not recreate any experience again.

 

I commit myself to assist and support myself to choose life as in choosing breathing every time that I see myself veering toward/ opting for living out an experience in the mind, and instead become diligent to stop at the slightest energetic experience, through breathing and then immediately investigate the point through writing, self forgiveness, self corrective application in order to ensure that I am aware of what was that point of separation and become aware of how to stop it.

 

This will continue…

Desteni 

Eqafe

Desteni I Process

Desteni Lite Process – Free Online Course

Equal Money System 

 

Take Pills

Watch:

 

Interviews that Must Be Listened in order to Value what Life Really is and what we are Doing to ourselves at a physical Level every time that we comply to exist only as a mind that seeks / looks for the ultimate fix, missing out the physical in its totality.

Blogs:

 

This blog is inspired by MyKey’s Interviews on  Energy Demons which I suggest to listen to understand the effects and mechanisms of energy and our ‘decisions in life’ to get to a point of clarity to see what is ‘driving’ our decisions – is it ourselves as the mind or is it an actual physical decision to participate in a certain manner with other human beings.

 

Learn how to Value Life and get some practical considerations to bring forth a new Living-Being in this world – If you resisted having children, if you are pregnant, if you are looking toward having children or if you think you dislike Animals, this is a Must Hear:


191. Anger and Irritation upon Procrastination– Self Correction

 

Consequences within the Procrastination Character – Self Corrective Statements and Commitments

This is  a continuation to: 189. Anger and Irritation upon Procrastination – Self Forgiveness from the day October 21, 2012

When and as I see myself experiencing anger and irritation toward my own neglect and deliberate brushing off of responsibilities that I’ve committed myself to do – I stop and I breathe – I realize that I don’t require to add a layer of emotional turmoil to that which is required to be done and given direction to in physical reality.

I commit myself to stop participating in anger and this is a process – yes – as I see and realize that the anger that I have exerted toward something/ someone outside of myself are stemming from me only and that it is Never about others. (Listen to the Quantum Mind series Quantum Mind Self Awareness – STEP 22+23)

Thus I realize that anything could trigger this experience within me as it is in fact only me being angry at myself for not having corrected/ given direction to points within my world and reality wherein any point can become a trigger point to exert my own creation toward my own actions/ inactions.

 

When and as I see myself creating a rush about things, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I cannot move faster than the physical space time and within that, it is pointless to create a rush within me to direct/ move/ sort out things which is actually an energetic input stemming as a direct consequence to my own parsimony toward the time required for the task that I have neglected.

 

When and as I see myself recriminating myself for not having done something over time, I stop and I breathe – I realize that creating an experience of anger and irritation about the time spent having remain ‘stuck’ within one point, is further mind possession that requires a physical direction in the moment, which I suggest is writing it out in order to see how I can practically stop the emotional turmoil and give myself proper direction which implies, breathing, stabilizing  myself and then continuing with the task that must be done.

I commit myself to work closely with my emotional reactions to ensure that I am not  using Self Forgiveness as a way to exert the emotions without giving it immediate self direction, as that would obviously nullify the point of Self Forgiveness.

 

When and as I see myself wanting to lash out/ exert my anger toward the world because of my own procrastination and unresolved points that I Know I have to direct, I stop and I breathe. I realize that within exerting my own unresolved points toward others is abdicating my responsibility and further victimization wherein I see that this is a pattern that I also learned from what I saw at home and developed myself which just emerged here as I write – so through self forgiveness first:

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within being angry and irritated for things not going ‘my way’ exert such anger toward others so that others in that moment could also be aware of my anger and even wanting to deliberately affect them with my anger so that I am actually creating a point of power over others through making them react in fear toward my anger/ become angry themselves, wherein the experience is then only fueled without any correction but simply wanting to deliberately make others angry/ experience the same I was experiencing, which reveals to what extent when there is no self-awareness of what we are in fact accepting and allowing to exist within us, we lash out our experience toward others without caring how it is affecting others – within this

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never consider how my own anger affects others and how I am in fact responsible not only for myself, but for the experience that I instigate deliberately in a seemingly non-conscious manner toward others, without realizing that it is obviously done with the intention of others ‘feeling my anger’ in order for me to then justify my experience and within this, through anger, getting myself back to a positive experience when saying ‘I had a reason to be angry’ which is not acceptable in any way.

 

When and as I see myself wanting to deliberately lash out my anger toward others in order to have an effect on them and within this, have a form of power and control through them reacting in fear – I obviously stop and I breathe – I realize that others noticing that I am angry will in fact only fuel my own anger and irritation which is something that I have to sort out/ deal with/ correct within myself only – and that wanting others to be directly affected by my experience is in fact abdicating my responsibility to the points that I have to work with myself.

Thus I realize that anger in itself is another form of self manipulation to try and have others commiserating to my own negligence and in this case, procrastination, instead of realizing that every consequence must be faced here, directly in stability and within this understanding that me exerting anger is only perpetuating the cycles of self-abuse and indirectly seeking to involve others within my experience, which is plain evil.

I commit myself to stop my impulse to exert anger toward others in order for them to be aware that ‘there’s something going on with me’ which is plain manipulation in order to be able to involve others in my own experience, which is not acceptable as this is my process, my responsibility and within this, I cannot allow myself to perpetuate and externalize that which I have created for myself and through myself only.

This is how I can practically ensure that I stop creating division and wars in our world as I see that the moment that we externalize any point of friction with a deliberate desire to have others participate in it my experience, is another form of validating the experience in itself, which is not acceptable at all.

 

When and as I see myself wanting to rush things now because of having procrastinated them for a while, I stop and I breathe – I realize that now rushing to ‘get it done’ is not a self-honest way of living and it’s not what I would want myself to be and become only to ‘get the task/project done’ in a middle/ half-assed way – thus I ensure that I make the necessary arrangements in my world and reality to walk this point till its completion as it is my responsibility and point to direct/ solve/ sort out within the absolute understanding that creating further experiences about it is useless to create a solution, therefore only a waste of time.

 

I commit myself to understand that those projects/ tasks that I commit myself to walk, are part of that which I have decided to do as an extension/ expression of ourselves. This implies that getting things done just to ‘get by’ is only a dishonest expression of myself that I would certainly not want myself to express as, nor others for that matter.  This is to realize that the commitment to walk a point of responsibility implies the realization that I am here to correct the patterns that I lived thus far that are not self-supportive and within this, my deeds/ words are the direct physical and tangible proof of any form of self correction I am committing myself to. Thus I take equal responsibility for what I have committed myself to do and that are all equally part of the responsibilities that I have taken on in my life.

 

When and as I see myself equating life to ‘getting things done’ as only being a production machine, qualifying my life according to tasks to get done in order to define ‘who I am’ – I stop and I breathe – I realize that tasks, projects and points that I have decided to do and take responsibility for are points that I have agreed to do as part of my own living-experience within the world system and within my own process  – within this, it is to realize that committing myself to do something is actually designating the necessary time to do it, as I realize that not doing so, creates consequences for myself and everyone else involved .

 

Within this – I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider how my own actions/ inactions would also affect others wherein even if I knew that I had to do it, I simply didn’t do it. So this is part of me having to realize how every point of procrastination can be linked to individual moments of deciding to do ‘something else/ something that made me feel good about myself’ instead of doing what I was requiring to do.

When and as I see myself only considering me and my own consequences when not doing something deliberately – I stop and I breathe – I realize that the responsibility that I’ve taken on is not only toward myself but anyone else involved. Thus, I take responsibility for myself, my actions/ inactions and the consequential outflow they create toward others and reality as a whole.

 

When and as I see myself creating an experience upon getting more responsibilities, I stop and I breathe –I realize that getting any sort of anxiety or stress about it does not solve the point, will not allow me to work ‘better’ through it. It is a single physical point wherein I can instead focus on considering the task to bet done, assess it throughout some time to see how I can fit in all that must be done within my schedule and according to testing it out for some time, assess whether I am capable of doing it nor not. This is to then not further compromise myself with projects/ tasks to be done without having an actual living-physical decision to actually do it. Within this

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to face the consequence of not getting things done based on taking on other responsibilities and deliberately knowing that I was neglecting this other task that I must get done no matter what, eventually ending up procrastinating due to my desire to be able to ‘keep up’ with everything  and have time for it all, without realizing that in this I am only doing so as a point of compromise which is based on not wanting to let others down about my participation in things, which is something that I have to consider without the image/ role point that I have created of myself, and instead for this moment until I get this major task done, to consider how it is necessary for me to focus on my reality responsibilities before continuing developing any other points.

 

When and as I see myself wanting to take further points/ responsibilities without considering the ones that I am deliberately ignoring and leaving behind, yet knowing that I have to do them anyways – I stop and I breathe – I have to make a very cold decision in every moment that I agree to participate in something, as I realize that each decision implies a responsibility and a consequences and that I would not want for myself/ nor others to take several points and eventually not dedicating myself to them in every moment, but being rushing to do it, which is not cool at all.

I commit myself to assess in a very conscious manner the decisions I make in order to taken on projects, responsibilities and tasks when I have one single point that is being procrastinated/ not done and requires immediate attention.

I commit myself to ‘remind’ me of the consequential outflow of having procrastinated something wherein one does not know how such procrastination will create an eventual consequence wherein that one single ‘lagging point’ determines our reality and our very own internal stance toward ourselves and everything that we participate in.

 

When and as I see myself wanting to blame others for my own experience, I stop and I breathe –I realize that I must stop at all times exerting my experience toward others as I am the only one that must work with anger and irritation toward myself. Thus

I commit myself to stop reacting and blaming others for my own experience, being it music in the outside or people making noises – I realize that when I am here as breath, these points are not able to affect who I am. Thus every moment from here on when I see myself making a big deal out of an external aspect apparently ‘tampering’ my ability to direct myself effectively, I stop and I breathe – and I instead investigate how I have created this irritation and annoyance based on my own actions/ inactions within my world and reality according to tasks/ points that must be done and my physical direction to them.

 

I commit myself to stop becoming a demon in itself when it comes to being angry and irritated within myself toward myself due to what I have done/ not done as myself and exerting it upon others, as I see and realize that my starting point of doing so is that of wanting to get a positive experience for having others react to my own emotional state, which is a rather evil way of getting myself to a positive state and justify the anger and experience because at the eyes of others is apparently ‘okay’ for me to be angry and frustrated, even though I realize that the moment that I see in their eyes a point of fear and powerlessness toward my own anger, I get myself back to a positive experience because at least I have made others equally angry/ unstable as I am.

 

Desteni

Desteni Forum 

Desteni I Process

Equal Money System 

Can't run away from consequence

 

Blog:

 

Interviews and a MUST HEAR:


2012 Stopping judgment–a walking process

There’s one aspect that I have been more ‘keen’ to these days which is the experience of being physically around many beings, like at the movies. I actually enjoyed the point of watching the same movie with several other people in the same room – even if I went ‘by myself’ – it is also a cool way for me to not distract myself with something else or believe that I should be doing something else instead of watching films, which allows me to then focus and simply enjoy. I thought of how people would enjoy going to the movies for the sake of the whole thing about ‘going to the movies’ and sharing that moment with many others at the same time.

 

In the past, the ‘discomfort’ felt within going to the movies was because of thinking that it wasn’t ‘normal’ for me to go alone to the movies, and I would mostly fear people judging me or judging the fact that I was all alone while I could see all of these couples or families around. However at that time, I simply took the judgment as a point of definition and turned such point as ‘pride’ within ‘going alone to the movies’ instead of taking the point through an actual self-correction process wherein it is now through stopping the backchat toward myself and activities I do alone, that I am able to actually start living the sheer physical-aspect of being in a movie theatre with many other beings. I noticed how even having people sitting next to me would become an excuse to bring up thoughts according to sensing ‘liking/ disliking’ the being. This time I stopped the thoughts and brought my focus and attention here – breathing and taking all beings equally – eventually what I see is that through stopping such judgments as separation from others beings, you literally integrate your surrounding as yourself – one and equal – there’s no reaction and the point of focus becomes the movie in itself. Took some time though to get to this point while watching the movie.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear being seen ‘alone’ at the movies

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ‘feel’ that the person next to me is a ‘cool person’ and judging another one as ‘annoying’ just because of him making noises with some wrap.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel uncomfortable within the theatre when ‘unknown people’ sit next to me because of considering it as an ‘uncomfortable moment’ due to the judgments I create about this point in my head, projecting such ‘discomfort’ as ‘how I perceive the others also experience the moment’ within themselves.

When and as I see myself getting uncomfortable when sitting next to a stranger, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am only assessing such ‘discomfort’ at a thought level wherein I am going into my mind to ‘judge the being’ instead of actually realizing we are human beings, sharing the same space just as we share this entire world with one another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear proximity with strangers which is simply indicating that I have judged contact/ physical approach as something that is ‘invading my privacy’ which is another point that is created out of fear wherein we only want this ‘space’ for ourselves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as this ‘aversion toward unknown people’ which lead me to seclude myself in the past, simply because of not wanting to interact in public places with other beings, such as the movies.

 

 

I’ve been visiting my family for the past week, I’ve had a cool time doing stuff I don’t usually do like running around with kids at my niece’s first year b-day party. I attended a baptism mass wherein I simply spent my time taking pictures and communicating.

 

I enjoyed playing with kids at my niece’s party,  I let go of any backchat that emerged at the beginning with thoughts  like ‘oh what will people say about me running around with 5 year olds?’ As soon as I saw the limitation, I simply did it. It was quite a big party and I actually was glad to see some people that I had not seen for some years, probably since the last wedding I attended, which was my sister’s wedding back in 2008. I never thought I would be glad and actually enjoy seeing people from the past – family and friends of the family.

Later on I got to know that I was playing with children from my sister’s friends whom I have known for over a decade, it was quite interesting to see how I didn’t even know most of the kids. They are the only ones that dare to ask about my hair and strike conversations about stuff that matters, like how they experience their teachers in school or relationships with their siblings. As we grow up, we create these barriers wherein we ‘learn’/ are told ‘what to share’ and ‘what not to share’ simply because of considering it as ‘too private to share’ and in that, limit our ability to open up and share with others what we are actually experiencing in our lives.

 

I also spent some time with my cousins, it’s been cool to walk a process of having been quite judgmental two years ago toward their teenage-years – I decided to establish communication with them within and it’s been cool the very few times that we get to see each other. I had fun while making some photos with them, at least that kept them away from simply being sitting around with iPhones and iPods on.  I also enjoyed being out of the city and spending time running around, taking pictures and talking with kids, teenagers and adults alike. That is what I see it’s actually fun now. I’ve learned so much just from being open to talk to people that I had thought ‘we had nothing to talk about’ in the past, such as an uncle, from whom I’ve learned about some of the gun policies here in Mexico, as well as the production of potatoes and all the pesticides they require in order to have the picture-perfect presentation, and how to know when meat contains this component that enables the tissue to retain water and once you fry it, the meat shrinks because all water is then evaporated. I was able to cross-reference some studies on milk as well with my cousin that is a biologist and soon also a psychologist, and it was quite cool.

We’ve become so image driven that even our food goes through extensive chemical processes in order to have the picture-perfect presentation – how abusive have we become to do this onto ourselves as our physical body and also do it onto our food, not really caring about the actual nutritional aspect of it once that it is genetically modified and sprayed multiple times throughout its growth only to get a ‘presentable’ potato.

 

Besides everything that I was able to learn just by this ‘openness’ that I have placed into action, I have realized how my perspective toward other people changes the moment that I stop judging them within the same ‘frame’ that I used to see them through. I have deliberately taken on the point of stopping the immediate judgment because this is something that I had known for some years, however for some reason the moment that I heard it from someone that had been judged indiscriminately while being on Earth like Gaddafi, it certainly shook my being to the core wherein I am definitely walking the application of stopping all automated judgment.

And this is the point that I wanted to get at here. It takes quite a diligent process to actually apply Self Honesty within our day to day living, it is so easy to slip into the mind at any given moment. However, experiences are not able to last for long.

 

 

denken

 


Impatience

Impatience – in pain shuns

Being called ‘Ms. anxiety’ was not a matter of casualty – this is the way that my mother would call me whenever I would get desperate and anxious to get things done in the moment I wanted, whenever I wanted and as I wanted it, which is a pattern I had/have lived throughout my life. I now see it as her having to deal with a female version of my father in the role of ‘her daughter’ whenever I  I would play out this pattern from a very early age in my life.

I would see the culmination of this when throwing tantrums every time that things didn’t go ‘my way.’ I would create and compound these energies that I would only ‘discharge’ in deliberate ways when I would exert them out in the form of what I could call extreme anger possessions. These were moments wherein in the middle of a tantrum I would go into a room or the bathroom in extreme anger and, in my mind being very, very pissed off about something which was usually linked to my pet peeves at that age. In between the crying while backchatting myself to sustain the ‘anger’ within me, I would take my body to a state of absolute shock until I would experience the type of chills that take over your entire body. In such moments after experiencing that ‘peak’ of anger wherein I could feel and experience all my nerves ‘piking up,’  I would then slow down, and then mostly remaining crying in guilt and even a form of pity toward myself, because of realizing that I was physically harming my body whenever I took myself to that point, I would even fear for my heart suddenly paralyzing in such moments. I guess this was my first ability to understand self-abuse at a physical level from which I would tell myself not to do it again, I can even remember giving little kisses to my arms because I could experience a great pain afterwards throughout my entire body which was obviously not cool to walk through. It was almost the same experience I would get when having to vomit when being sick.

So, back to here and how this came up.

I just experienced a pain on the top of my back and I saw that it emerged after walking through a point of having to answer someone’s posts while keeping it as simple and as common sensical as possible without allowing me to get frustrated and irritated by ‘the other person simply ‘not getting it’ without realizing that self-support must be here, unconditional and without any form of experience being created within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to shun away the point of applying self forgiveness for experiencing ‘impatience’ just because of thinking ‘I can handle it’ which is actually a point of ego wherein I am mostly not facing the point as myself and being aware of what I am participating at a thought level, and just ‘shunning it away’ to not realize that I am still reacting in frustration and irritation when having to explain something to someone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into an entire physical tenseness where my jaw is mostly tense and in pain as I read through the words that I have to reply to and judging the person as ‘inept’ for not being able to ‘get it,’ within this

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an emotional experience of anger, irritation and frustration which I perceive as ‘impatience’ only once that I have accepted and allowed the backchat to keep going eventually manifesting as an entire physical experience of pain and discomfort which is here reminding me that I cannot just pretend that ‘I can handle it’ and not face the experience that I am creating within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create impatience out of wanting others to see as I see and understand at the same rate I understand and within this, not taking into consideration the the other person’s context and background which is what I must take into consideration before continuing creating any judgment upon another, which is simply unacceptable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exert anger onto others through written words when becoming frustrated and irritated and get even more irritated if I see no ‘reaction’ within them either, which is quite a fuckup because I have become used to fighting others within anger and this irritation toward others that then becomes an irritation exerted toward the entire world without seeing/ realizing that such irritation and frustration is only toward myself, accumulated from my own procrastination to direct myself effectively.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my own irritation and accumulated frustration toward others whenever I perceive others to be ‘too slow’ to get it or having to explain the same point several times.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that ‘everything is fine’ because the person perceives that I am being ‘patient’ through answering all the questions and feeling ‘good’ because the person is ‘getting it’ apparently, while in fact I am not being patient within myself, only writing in away that is able to be understood – however I take responsibility for my inner experience and STOP existing in this inner experience even if it is not noticeable through my words, so this is about allowing myself to be Self Honest about it, give myself this time to write about it and then continue walking which is cool and self supportive.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to breathe every moment that I see this energetic experience of tension and impatience coming up which manifests as this entire tension in my jaw which leads me to have thoughts about just wanting to punch something/ someone lol even if I cannot see myself doing that in real life, but the experience is just like that.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accumulate energy as anger and frustration toward myself and exerting it out on to others as and through backchat which is only causing me to experience the effect of such accumulated energy as pain, instead of realizing that I can breath through it and disperse/ diffuse the point as I see it and experience it in the moment, breathing, here, not allowing myself to go into thoughts judging myself and others in that moment and not taking self responsibility for what I am experiencing, which eventually has nothing to do with ‘others’ but myself only.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be unconditionally here, absolutely here as myself replying and commenting toward others but creating a particular stance toward particular beings according to how I read them, how I see them and how I have formed a judgment around them. This is unacceptable and I see and realize that I am able to simply direct any point in common sense, unconditionally, regardless of ‘who’ the person is and within this, allowing myself to direct myself to not participate in any reaction, but only work with the words that are here to write and direct in means of self support for both parties one and equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as impatience in the past as a form of superiority when thinking that others are ‘too slow’ for myself which has lead me to drop out in many cases, just because of ‘having to wait for others’ and within this sabotaging my ability to stand one and equal as others as well as not completing that which I could have completed if I had been patient enough.

This made me remember that German course, well I took German twice in my life, basic courses and I dropped out of both mostly because of perceiving that everyone was too slow and the course was too repetitive whereas I wanted to ‘speed up’ and advance as fast as possible – within this I would blame the rest of the class for being inconsistent and not supportive to go faster through the courses. I lead myself to step in my superiority position and dropping out, deeming it to be ‘too slow’ for me, which lead me to simply ditch German courses altogether to my own detriment, because I simply didn’t continue out of this fucked up ‘pride’ of being ‘too fast’ for those courses – the joke was obviously only on me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people according to being ‘too slow’ for myself and within this only sabotaging myself as the opportunity to support me to slow down within my ambitions of ‘getting it done’ and ‘having things done’ as fast as possible, which is just a preprogrammed ‘treat’ of myself as a perfectionist, wanting to have everything just ‘done’ and ‘ready’ and ‘perfect’ in one go, while in reality this doesn’t work that way.

We actually have to Walk through the process of realizing that we are not alone in this world, we cannot possibly ‘run’ and ‘speed’ in our own bubble – I mean if we look at the example of those people that speed their cars, they are only caring for their own either timeframe or simple enjoyment of driving fast – which I see I enjoy lol – without actually caring about potential outcomes as accidents that may occur from such ‘speeding.’ I have judged these people as ‘inconsiderate’ without realizing that I have done the same as well, not ‘speeding a car’ because I don’t even drive yet, but speeding in my mind and wanting things and people to be ‘on the same page’ all the time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people as ‘inconsiderate’ when not slowing down and taking others into consideration when speeding up while driving, without realizing that I have been in essence playing out the same pattern but in relation to interacting with people and the general way of ‘carrying myself’ which is that of a constant ‘hurry.’

So, I’m aware of this constant hurry and almost ‘anxiety’ of how I have lived my life. This has substantially diminished, I mean, I would get this anxiety mixed with nervousness even by having to get out of my house and go downtown and having to walk through streets to get somewhere, which can be equated to ‘having to complete any task’ in my reality. There were hundreds of fears and thoughts going through my mind all the time as I would ride there, as I would step down of the bus and walk around – a lot of self judgment and fear which would lead me to hurry around the whole time until I would get to a ‘safe spot’ such as the coffee shop lol.

So, I can speak from how through walking these ‘usual habits’ through self forgiveness I have been able to stop such experiences by simply breathing through any single thought that could emerge indicating any form of nervousness, anxiety or any other fear within such simple activity like ‘going out of my house’ which I have defined as ‘safe spot.’

Through supporting ourselves to stop these experiences, we’re able to then see how such experiences are not only related to or limited to being physically moving or facing others, but are able to come up within our internet interactions. I can see this is one of the ‘shades’ of this constant hurry I would exist as, a constant exigency to have things done ‘my way’ and ‘as fast as possible’ while I would then deem the rest of the world was just ‘too slow’ for me, only sabotaging myself and miss the opportunity to slow down because of thinking that ‘everyone was wrong and too slow for me,’ instead of realizing: I am the one that must slow down, I am the one that must stand here as every breath wherein it is futile trying to ‘breath faster’ or anything like that. I mean, imagine if our physical bodies would suddenly decide to either be ‘too slow’ some days or ‘too fast’ other times – sure, metabolisms work differently because of various factors according to different people – however, it is constant as that organism’s nature. This is how we have to equalize ourselves to, that physical pace.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ‘exigent’ toward others without realizing that I am not living that point of optimum living myself, by the single fact of such exigency coming from a personality/ ego pattern that is not in relation to the physical pace of our own breathing, of our own living process that is here moment by moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within a ‘demanding’ stance toward others without realizing that I haven’t applied this toward myself and my own application unconditionally – hence it is ludicrous to ask or be expecting anything from anyone about something that I haven’t even lived by and applied for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to equate ‘speed’ and doing things as ‘fast as possible’ with being efficient.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my father for having this constant ‘rush’ as a continual form of existing without realizing that I was living out and playing out the exact same patterns in my world.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to develop this mutual acceptance with my father as a form of ‘empathy’ within our own mindfucks, which is how I would then enjoy going out with him because of how fast he moves and how ‘efficient’ he is in everything he does.

I would enjoy walking with him because I would have to push myself to walk as fast as he would and in that, I simply pushed myself to become equal to that which I admired of him. As I have explained, is not that this is ‘good or bad’ but it is simply to place now this point and walk it in common sense where it is now very clear how within me existing in this constant rush and desire for ‘speed’ and ‘effectiveness’ I am limiting myself within a single frame of mind that prevents me from walking this point in equality within the consideration of What’s Best for All, which is then realizing I must live this point in common sense = considering each persons’ context before reacting or judging another for whatever I have compared myself to them.

I see how in essence this is how it works: we are constantly comparing ourselves with others when having any form of reaction or experience.

Thus, this point I take as a way to place into perspective how hurrying is literally a mindfuck, rushing everything in my mind then links to some form of ‘worry’ and unnecessary anxiety that becomes ‘frustration’ because of not having things working as I expect them to work out. This is how we usually then become our own mindfucks to deal with, this is how we do it all to ourselves.

Sticking to physical reality is then realizing: I am here as breath, I move and direct each point as I read through the words and reply in common sense without expecting or wanting a particular outcome wherein I can be ‘satisfied’ about others’ understanding. I simply direct each point as it is here on my screen, without holding any idea/ belief or perception accumulated over time on a particular ‘someone’ because I see and realize that this is in no way about ‘others’ but myself only.

Point by point, moment by moment we walk here and we stop ‘unleashing the dragon’ out of nowhere – apparently – and instead make sure we don’t accumulate all of these thoughts eventually becoming physical pain to ‘deal with.’

Such forms of abuse are unnecessary, we do it to ourselves = we take self responsibility.

Breathe.

Not Breathing

Patience– the mommy of all virtues


Take the System for what it is

A point that we’ve walked through today is practical implications of being one and equal –  within this it’s about standing within this self-introspection with regards to our life-experience – yes it’s all been a mind-created experience and only now we are learning about actual Life not being that. Yet we tend to create ourselves according to such information – it’s only understandable as it was everything we knew, everything we’ve been – but now that we know, we can only vow to stop and correct this.

Through ourselves writing and going back within time to see what we’ve accepted or allowed, we’ll find that we we’ve always played a role – either the abuser or the abused, the controller or the controlled one, the superior or inferior – and now we understand how all of that is what kept the system in place, in the never ending polarity wherein the opposites creating friction between each other literally charged and energized this entire reality.

So for the greedy to exist, slaves must exist that can ensure you get the most power which is held according to a perceived value as ‘more/less than’ created at a mind level – we’ve all participated in such value schemes, we’ve held them in place through accepting the current monetary system and value/system in separation of life, hence we’re all responsible.

For the abused to exist, an abuser is created and this can only come from the inconsideration of being one and equal wherein we apparently can harm others without any consequences – yet we are both accepting and allowing such condition by the single fact of accepting any other disparity in this world.

 

This is how any subtle hatred towards ourselves, any subtle reluctance to accept what’s here as ourselves creates yet another rift in this which can only prolong the ability to simply stop, correct and continue ensuring we don’t participate in any polarity as part of the energy required to keep this game running. Life is Not a game of winning and losing, yet it’s been promoted as such.

So, from this systematic perspective we can then realize that it is definitely ludicrous to take anything personal in this world, because it’s all just a  freaking-fracking system literally designed to fuck with each one’s mind for the sake of keeping the machinery running.

 

It is only through viewing things from this apparent ‘cold-bucket-of-water’ perspective that I was able to get myself out of the emotional attachment that I had held to everything in my life which only continued and perpetuated the relationship I had with my past as ‘who I am’ and in a way wanting to even ‘cherish’ that even though I knew it was mostly shitty to realize what I accepted and allowed myself to become.

 

So – within writing out a single event in our lives we have to step in the shoes of all participants, we can’t just assume being only one side of the coin if we realize we’re one and equal – we simply got to play on the left or right side yet we’ve all always been in the game – even those that perceived that they weren’t participating, they also were part of the equation meaning: no one is really ever innocent, no one can really ever claim to not be responsible of what is and exists in this world which is ourselves in all ways.

 

Part of the importance of studying the Desteni material is to understand how we came to this world without being able to remember that we’ve been here before, we’ve played the same role, we’ve done this all the time without remembering. It’s like that movie Memento, now I see why it’s quite fascinating to watch because it’s revealing much of what we’ve lived as ‘our lives’. It’s ludicrous how we can just take on a character and make it ‘our life’ without even being able to remember ‘why’ we’re doing it, why we’re keeping such grudge to another, why we’re driving ourselves to do something and only through literal tattooed memories can we ‘remember who we are’ which is in essence all memories we store for the sake of keeping an identity.  This point becomes more evident when showing how one of the characters keeps repeating one single action without being able to remember he’s just done the same thing minutes before. That movie shows quite a lot of the accepted ‘human nature’ yet based on the ‘short term memory’ mechanism.

 

Who would we be if we didn’t have memories? it’s all just pictures, words, symbols that we’re born into, without ever questioning them. It’s just a system and as we go understanding the system, we can simply take it for what it is – this is to stop being attached to any value in separation of ourselves to anything/anyone in this world.

 

Letting go of this world is simply that – just embracing it all as who we are and taking the necessary steps to correct the points wherein we’ve accepted and allowed ourselves to perceive ourselves as more or less than, as being  ‘personally hurt’, as being abused wherein we implicitly accepted the abuser to exist, to forget that we’ve all agreed to come here without even remembering, to realize that we’ve got this one life to finally stop being the automated patterns we’ve always been – what a release to be able to breathe and not hold on to anything or anyone – that’s where we’re walking towards, it can be done, it must be done by each one that sees and realizes that as much as we’ve held the poles in place, we now hold the key to be here and honor life – something that’s never ever actually been done.

 

From this we can realize that our measure point must be equality and oneness at all times considering the physical aspect of it as it exists currently in this world which is not being a supportive experience for everyone, hence we create a world that does become that with an equal money system. From there we can focus on supporting others to stop being victims of their own mind systems and take equal responsibility. So it’s an all-in-one process and we’re here walking it. You can do it as well.

Stopping self from only being a mind consciousness system.


%d bloggers like this: