Tag Archives: success

Day 20: Childhood Schooling Years

Here I share some of the most prominent experiences that I have realized became part of my identity/ personality as an ‘A+ student’ throughout my life, beginning with childhood which is in itself a label used within the schooling system that is considered as a ‘positive incentive,’ however what’s not considered is how the child that gets such ‘special treat’ is also being ostracized and separated from the majority that cannot obtain the same distinction because of the obvious hierarchical levels, wherein the one on top is taken as a measure point for the rest. And so, the pressure built within the ‘outstanding individual’ becomes a constant point of fear and anxiety to remain in such position, due to the allocated idea that the individual – myself in this case – has built about themselves within a particular context in their reality.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I had to ‘keep up’ this reputation of being the ‘best student’ wherein I had seen, realized made me popular/ recognized with authorities like parents and teachers throughout school.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to want to deliberately impose myself as an ‘example to follow’ wherein I would get a good experience out of being ‘the best’ and being recognized as someone that was ‘out of this world’ for how obedient, disciplined and such a ‘good student’ overall I was – wherein I absolutely knew that this was the way to have everyone valuing me as everything that I wanted to ‘be’ and ‘become’ as I realized what ‘power’ felt like and I dug it, secretly, while pretending to be humble and modest about my ‘skills’ and abilities – without realizing that such experience of being valued as ‘more than’ was that which mattered in this world, being ‘someone to others,’ and in that only developing this idea that all I am is this role model for others and that all that I am ‘worth’ is this example of ‘what a good student’ is for others.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I could not fuckup one single time as that would lower my reputation and within this idea of it all being ‘easy’ for me, extenuating the actual experience of stress and pressure that lead me to experience things like anxiety, nervousness and gastritis at a very young age, simply because I wanted to keep ‘my place’ in school/ my world – which is me becoming infatuated with the sensation of recognition and power at a very young age.

 

I did this to myself, I am very aware how I was not pressured at all by my parents to become this – in fact, they were the first ones that would tell me to slow down and not be so apprehensive, but I just became so rigid with my beliefs within ‘who I was’ that it was virtually impossible for me to let go of this ideal of responsibility and always being on time for school, always getting the best grades, always knowing the answers.  A single example is how when I would be sick and my mother would suggest me to stay at home, I would immediately react about it and would beg her to take me to school, I could not possibly miss one day at 2nd grade in kindergarten! lol – everyone would laugh when my mother shared that story with other people, and that would make me mad because to me it was something serious. I certainly lived ‘backwards’ from the perspective I went from being the most rigid person in school in 1st grade kindergarten and then quite relaxed by the end of my school years – yet always keeping the cool grades for the reasons that I’ll continue sharing as I walk the Self Forgiveness here.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to impose this to myself, and not even hear when my mother would say that it didn’t matter what grades I had, but that I had to slow down because it was affecting my body – I didn’t hear, to me reputation was ‘all that I was’ and all that I had to keep up, and in this generating me as an extremely apprehensive kid that only sought to keep up with ‘the best grades’ and engaging in secret competitions toward other classmates that I believed were on to ‘get me off of my throne.’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to engage in such competition traits at a very young age – 2nd grade of elementary school – wherein when fellow classmates would express that they were on to ‘get me off of my first place’ I would take that s a deliberate attack that would gnaw my very existence and concern me/ worry me tremendously, to the extent of developing constant anxiety for always being/remaining on top because I could not fathom the idea of being second place.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become so stressed out for keeping a certain place in my reality, which means that I feared being/ becoming a ‘normal person’ without it, because of how I had been so used to getting all the first places and recognition from the very first year in school.

 

It is really unnecessary within the schooling system to do this, I became so fed up yet so used to these award/ recognition ceremonies, I essentially became my own judge wherein I placed rigid standards which is part of the personality I’ve become wherein I tend to be an extremist when doing something ‘going all the way into it’ and often disregarding the actual physical pace that is required in this world. I have walked this point throughout the past which I’ve shared as part of the physical slowing-down in all aspects as I’ve seen and realized how the rushing point is/ was stemming from a constant form of competition and keeping scores toward myself and in comparison to others.

 

Within this, I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to marry with myself as the idea of always having to be ‘on top’ and not allowing anyone else to take such position because it was ‘my place’ and ‘my throne’ wherein all the glory and recognition of being first place was ‘all that I am’ at the eyes of others, therefore existing in an ingrained fear of losing that ‘first place’ and creating a rivalry/ competition toward anyone else that seemed like a threat to my beloved position of ‘first place.’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to develop a constant need and desire to be in control of my environment and others to ensure that I would always have things ‘my way’ and that meant: keeping my first place as a constant point of self-validation that I knew could only be ‘lost’ if I allowed myself to fuck up even once, which is how I developed a fear toward making mistakes because I could not imagine how it would be for others to realize that ‘I’d lost the first place’ as I believe that everyone was expecting me to fall.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to live in a perpetual experience of fear of ‘falling’ and ‘losing my place’ wherein I believed that everyone wanted me to lose and fall because I would react to their expressions every time that it would happen and believe that they were ‘mean to me’ because they would solace to the idea of me falling/ being second or third place an losing my usual position.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to victimize myself within such experiences wherein I believed that everyone was on to ‘see me fall’ and that their happiness depended on ‘seeing me fall/ make a mistake/ fuck up,’ wherein I believed that all eyes were on me and that I was constantly ‘in the spotlight,’ which is essentially the usual delusion we get imbued with wherein we believe that we are the center of the universe and that everyone is looking at us, expecting something from us without ever actually taking a moment to realize: this is me doing this to myself, this is me trying to catch up with an illusion as the cage that I have built for myself wherein I believe I can’t ‘get out’ or I’ll ‘lose’ the ‘who I am’ toward others and myself.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to associate honor as an inherent recognition that I had to keep up in my reality with good grades wherein being a ‘perfect student’ gave me the recognition that I had not allowed myself to give to myself regardless of ‘who I was’ within the school system.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that being a ‘good student’ at the eyes of my teachers made me ‘special’ and ‘unique’ – which eventually caused much strain the moment that I saw the division that would ensue between my other classmates wherein such specialness was seen as ‘preferential treat’ and causing them to later on develop patterns of bullying toward me – which is what lead me to not want to ‘stand out in the spotlight’ any longer, because I did not want to suffer again.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be fearful of going to school because of having to face my classmates after I had filed a complain about the bullying at school, which made me really anxious and fearful with regards to being left alone and having all my ‘friends’ suddenly against me for being a whistle blower about my situation.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever use this point as a manipulation as to why I had a reason to ‘suffer’ in my world, without ever realizing that it was actually all that I had created for myself, a point that I deliberately sought and fought to maintain which obviously lead to create an opposition due to how much effort/ zeal I would imprint onto my school application which is what became like a constant war zone instead of a learning ground wherein I could simply walk in a normal pace.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to impose these rigid schemes of ‘who I had to be’ just to keep up this idea of myself as ‘the perfect student’ without ever asking: who will I be without it? why am I so petrified to lose this position?

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to participate within the system of competition and reward and honorable places in the school system wherein the obvious separation and discrimination that is brewed in classrooms become the reality of a world wherein hierarchy is then the way to ‘rule’ within the system. You get trained to either be a ‘leader’ or a ‘follower’ and in that, accepting the fact that not everyone would have equal opportunities to develop their skills efficiently within and throughout the Education system.

Actually there is no such thing as an equal possibility for all people to have such opportunity as the current Educational system is just like an IQ test that doesn’t consider each individual’s special abilities/ capabilities and developing different pedagogical programs to ensure each being is able to learn with different methods/ options – No, the current system is a cookie-cutter system wherein some would fit in it with the utmost efficiency and some others would literally swallow each year hoping to not get kicked out. It’s really terrible to have this as such hierarchy levels are then built at school, in classrooms wherein people begin identifying each other according to the grades they have and in that, an entire stratification of society is ‘in the making.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I had something ‘special’ within me that made it all seem so simple to walk through school,  creating a ‘bipolar’ experience within it such as feeling ‘good’ about it yet ‘bad’ at the same time because why can I have it so easy in getting good grades while others have to go through hell to achieve similar or even less than results?

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to live out to such points of recognition with proud and modesty wherein I would later on create the opposite experience when realizing that others could not ever ‘get’ to the same position I was in, which really worried me but I was told not to worry because they were only probably ‘lazy’ or ‘not dedicated enough,’ which is how I accepted and allowed the world of inequality as a direct result of each one’s direct participation, never ever considering the entire set of factors that have ensured that such disparity and polarity exist in this world to continue a system based on friction as in having some deliberately wanting to achieve ‘the best’ all the time and in that, generating the necessary opposition, competition and rivalry that has kept this entire system in its polarized status quo.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to develop rivalry and consider as ‘enemies’ fellow classmates at a very tender age because of hearing how they were ‘on to get me’ and out of fear I simply made sure that I would not allow them to get into my position not realizing that within that, I was becoming part of the game of competing against each other and being under strenuous pressure and constant anxiety/stress because of fearing that they would eventually get ‘better grades than me.’ I mean now that I see it, it is absolutely exhaustive to even remember how bad it was having to keep up this idea/ image of myself toward others and existing in constant competition.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to apparently stop caring that much about grades while continuing being ‘responsible’ and obtaining good-grades yet developing this ‘opposed’ personality to what I had been as a little girl wherein I deliberately would get ‘down from the top of the hill’ not to an equality level, but below sea level wherein I wanted to be simply ‘normal’ as in being a kid that struggles, that fucks up, that makes mistakes as that seemed to be what everyone was talking, a point of identification between one another  and ‘I’ wanted to be part of that – therefore

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to develop an opposite personality as in seeking degradation and problems as that seemed to be what ‘life was about,’ and in that believing that I was “equalizing” myself with others that didn’t have it as easy as me to walk a life of ‘success’ and recognition.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to deliberately sabotage me when and while desiring to be ‘a mortal’ and in such position deliberately place myself within relationships and situations wherein I knew that it was not what is best for all, but I wanted to get ‘my hands dirty’ in the sense of experiencing what others were experiencing and doing just because of having defined my life as dull, secure and perfect.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define ‘normal’ as in having ups and downs and riding the rollercoaster of ‘life’ as desiring love, relationships, being miserable for not having them and essentially creating a pattern of being a ‘regular being’ that has stories to tell about how fucked up ‘life’ apparently is and in that, deliberately stand within relationships that I knew were not ‘best for myself,’ but a part of me desired to be equally fucked up as others, just to know what ‘that’ would be like and how I would experience myself within such misery, which was like a false sense of compassion wherein I actually never really ‘cared’ about others, but only developing my own inner energetic experiences that I realized were equally satisfactorily as when I was ‘on a high’ in success and recognition and ‘happiness,’ I could get the same experience out of being depressed, miserable and essentially submerged into a self created torment that I would feed with music, words, books and people in my world.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to seek to overcome my ‘old me’ through creating an opposite polarity and pattern that went for the exact opposite points that I had defined myself by/ as such as running away from recognition, wanting to stand in the background, wanting to not be ‘seen’ yet defining everything of this experience based on having lived a life in ‘the spotlight’ throughout school years and having tested out what constant competition an desire to keep a certain place was like.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge these experiences as ‘petty’ and insignificant when compared to the reality of others, which is the point that lead me to deliberately seek experiences that would seem ‘more real’ for the actual fuckedupness they represented, without realizing that I must expose and walk the ‘good/ positive’ that I have lived as the opposite creation stemming from the inherent negative point that separation creates in our world and reality.

 

So, I was ‘glad’ in a sense that as I went by/ through my school years, that definition of myself as being ‘better than others’ remained only as a judgment that others would mostly impose onto me, I seriously stopped caring as much as I did as a little child because my body was really protesting about my mental obsessions. I’m glad I did hear my mother within that and realizing that I wasn’t only ‘worth’ that which I was able to obtain and ‘be’ in/ at school but that I was worth by who I am as myself – and that did support me to not only value myself as my school grades, but start realizing that I was ‘more’ than just ‘a good student.’

But! What I did is that because I had only lived as the image of ‘the good student’ I sought to be praised valued in ‘other means’ which is how I realized that I had to create relationships outside of school and develop a particular personality wherein I could be ‘valued’ for ‘who I really was’ as the personality that I deliberately created in order to attract/ live/ obtain a certain lifestyle that I learned from books, media that I wanted to mimic – and in this, becoming part of the system that aspires to become something/ someone greater and better and successful in a rather ‘unusual way’ which is how I developed the entire black sheep or alternative-personality that stood out of the usual standards in society as that would make me ‘more special’ and ‘unique,’ not by ‘who I was’ as an apparent intelligent person, but as a ‘beingness’ as a personality – you can read more about that in:  2012 The hard and soft veneers

 

  I commit myself to create and develop educational systems wherein we ensure that each human being is able to get proper education according to their skills and abilities wherein there will be no more ‘grading programs’ that ensue hostility, separation and hierarchical values between kids/ students – it is our responsibility to ensure that all have a proper foundation to develop themselves to the utmost potential. This implies that a great education reform is required, and this can only happen through politics within the framework of the Equal Money System.

 

For further support, visit:

Desteni

Desteni Forum

 

Read great support to understand about who we are and what we have become as humanity

Great interviews on the Educational systems and the corrections required to ensure no hierarchies are perpetuated within the educational systems:
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It’s all About the Attitude!

“Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.”

‘It’s all about the attitude’ Has become quite a well known way to insert ourselves into the world system that is pretty much image driven and how getting the right looks, the right outfit and the right presentation can get you to achieve your goal in a successful manner. I also listened about this in the interview Apathy Control within the series the Soul of Money which explains this mechanism to the T, and also giving awesome perspectives on how to use the system, our skills and abilities to support ourselves/ others within a basic principle: Equality as Life to actually develop ourselves within living purpose where ALL beings can be benefited from our personal living commitment to create a system that ensures life is equally regarded and dignified for all.

However, at the moment in this world, such statements represent the Capital-I, the eye that sees and buys/ sells whatever is fulfilling a positive perspective of oneself reflected on another – or any other idea of self that is sought/ pursued within a positive view perception, all aiming at the highest target on the chart of ‘successful living’ within this world.

 

The quote reminded me of the Sex Pistols and how their success revolved around proposing an image which became the inevitable reference to Punk Rock in the 70’s, and how the image and attitude made the band ‘who they are’ as a famous act in England and the world,  as opposed to being a particularly skillful set of musicians. Their image actually became a successful advertising campaign for a clothing store that “changed its focus from retro couture to S&M-inspired “anti-fashion”, with a billing as “Specialists in rubberwear, glamourwear & stagewear” (from Wikipedia entry on Sex Pistols)

And so a trend was born: being punk – and later on any regular rockstar was ‘all about the attitude’ that would often overshadow the actual skills that such people would actually present as musicians.

What is attitude? It is an image, a presentation, a character that in such case  – and in all cases that represent ‘successful living’ depict strength, power, determination, freedom, enjoyment, certainty, dominion and a lots of glamour – all that which any regular being within the westernized world would deem as traits to aspire owning/ becoming/ living by.

 

I’m pretty sure that you’ve sometime in your life had an ‘idol’ that you can identify as a role model because of the attitude they would present as a character that You would like to be like/ become. It’s like when you ‘fall in love’ with someone and you don’t know anything about them, but you like their presentation, their attitude, their ‘flair’ and in that:  you want to own them/ possess them to become equal and one to such attitude, because: you perceive you lack such attitude/ flair yourself.

What happens with such human predictability? We’ve got a sellable item as something/ any character that YOU will surely buy as an experience that you acquire with money, within this confirming that we are in fact a consumerist driven society seeking for positive-highs through anything that can represent a ‘better idea’ of what being a human being is, something that makes you feel ‘better’ about yourself because we haven’t yet realized how every relationship that we have created with  and toward anything/ anyone in this world, Is stemming from separation, a perceived ‘lack,’ an unfulfilled state of being that has become like a damnation that seeks to be ‘complete,’ ‘fulfilled,’ and satisfied by anything that will level up the perceived positive experience into a constantly up kept status quo of well-being.

We’ve created a picture-driven world wherein characters are valued for the attitude they present.

 

We’ve got a winner

So who benefits from this human weakness to idolize, mimic and even obsess about characters such as what we get on the media about famous people/ celebrities/ rockstars/ rocket scientists/ CEO’s/ sports people and virtually anyone that is ‘above’ your regular Joe? Well, anyone that is well aware of how we tend to follow such weakness on to the grave if necessary – just to get a ‘little piece of heaven,’ and in that buy anything and anyone that will give us the same experience that we perceive such beings experiencing themselves as.

 

Ask yourself: why have we become such addicts to idolizing? Why have we become obsessed with fueling someone’s self-created masquerade of success such as presenting a single ‘attitude’ that will drive the masses crazy?

I was listening to the radio and Elvis Presley came on – a white man that got all the attitude  (and voice) to rock people’s world – literally speaking – while singing covers by Little Richard and Ray Charles. So, what sold was the image that this man had, the entire attitude that broke the paradigms of his time. Obviously and the same point we can transpose to anyone else in the music world for example, wherein they might have the attitude/ looks that sells well, but have to sing someone else’s compositions because they actually haven’t developed the skills to write their own songs.

This is just an example and analogy of what we have become as a whole: a picture driven society.

A symptom of a plastic world is where looks/ attitude sells, regardless of ‘what’s inside’ and in that, we have doomed ourselves to become perversely driven by images, attitudes wherein we know what we want, we know that we like to buy that which will make us feel at least a little bit closer to that which we aspire to become – and all of this is what makes up our current CULTure, where your success is determined by the amount of self-seeking individuals that you can attract by presenting all the attributes that you know the majority ‘lacks,’ but in fact simply haven’t allowed themselves to accept as an equal attribute themselves.

We’ve got a way to go to remove all the limitations that have lead us to ‘pay for’ entertainment and experiences, because we will learn how we can give that to ourselves without fueling an entire machinery of superficial values that have no regard to life in Equality. The entertainment system will have to implode as the real values of Life emerge within each one as the consideration that everything we have ever bought and sold has had a fake value imposed upon.

The one and only value in this world is Life.

Make sure you are Not part of this thinking pattern wherein looks is all that counts and ‘talents’ have become simply morphing into more lucrative ways to sell yourself and get the most of the cake.

 

For Self-Support to step out of any form of mind control:

Desteni 

Desteni Forum

And to support a system wherein all life will be valued as equal and No one will ever be able to/ resort to ‘sell themselves’ only by looks without developing any actual equality in expression:

Equal Money System 

 

 

Enlighten yourself about who you really are:

The Secret Energy-Consuming Machine Revealed: DAY 19

Day 3– De-Capital-I-zing Me

Seeing me as the Capital imposition upon Life- it’s not a pretty picture considering to what extent we have neglected the lives of the billions that live in this world without even getting to know what having meat on your skin actually feels like, how having food, shelter, water, toilets, and proper health care as the things that we have taken for granted, would be like a heaven that is never really manifested in their lives. How have we created such abuse? Yes, we all have done it, accepted and allowed it through our very “living” of a surrogate – and very limited – experience of ‘Life’ as an energetic system wherein for some to ‘be on top,’ abuse must exist to make sure that others remain invalidated within the system, way at the bottom with no ability to stand up. Who has been the ‘evil ones’ all the way?

 

Validation is a word that came up today wherein I see that we are always seeking to be validated by others, to con.firm that ‘I’ exist a a product that is and can be ‘valued’ in this reality in a lesser or greater position when comparing myself to others that are also existing as Capital-I’s impositions on Life. This capital is  the surplus as the delirium for power that I have ‘granted’ myself with  as an individual and as this entire physical reality in separation of myself, which exists as ideas, beliefs, perceptions of ‘who I am’ as the mind that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become, which translates into knowledge and information in the form of definitions, values and interests that are directly linked to how we have placed a price tag virtually upon everything and everyone in this world. Yes, even You and I have a price as well.

 

The desire to be validated/ recognized exists in us human beings as a way to keep ‘adding’ onto ourselves the necessary ‘props’ for our ego as thoughts, beliefs, memories, opinions and judgments that can ‘uplift’ our position within this current world-system configuration that is based upon Money. That way, we learn ways to make ourselves ‘liked’ and ‘praised’ and ‘accepted’ as that would ensure our survival within this current world system, within forming and creating relationships of self-interest wherein all bonds are formed just like financial bonds that eventually ‘pay off’ to our own benefit.  That way, we live a life of always seeking to be ‘above’ others, to finally ‘make it’ within the current accepted and allowed system of abuse wherein one can only exist ‘on top’ of another if the ones ‘below’ are invariably abused. There are no exceptions within that.

 

The sour truth is we have all created and manifested and maintained this world into the current crisis that it is because of having accepted that initial desire to be ‘Capital-I-zed,’ to be seen by the eyes of the mind of other human beings as being ‘worthy’ as being ‘great’ and ‘superior’ = seeking validation within the eyes of the mind that functions as this perpetual appraisal of each other as such assessment translates eventually into money, as ‘how we sell each other’ to the greatest bidder –  because money buys and money is the point that we have created as the main point of abuse in this world, the perfect creation of us, human beings in the name of power and self-Capitalized Interest.

 

The pursuit of happiness begins at a thought level, which is seeking that energy that will allow us to keep existing as that Inflated-idea of ourselves which is and cannot possibly be Real, as it only exists as thoughts, pictures, memories, beliefs, objects fabricated and created in separation of myself through and by the same system of abuse that uses the belief of energy as a requirement to exist, which is Not who I really am as this physical reality wherein I cannot, in any way, make myself ‘more’ or ‘less’ in an equality-equation in which life actually exists – yet our world system as the reflection of our very own nature, does Not work that way at the moment. And the consequences are already roaming the Earth as the inevitable facing of ourselves as our creation.

Our economy is founded upon these  beliefs around the ‘battery’ that we have made ourselves dependent-to in order to continue living as Money, along with the added values and ‘interest’ that we rate ourselves-with, as our entire personality and ego-creation that takes also money to create and sustain. Are we walking bank accounts that seek to be endowed with more and more all the time to get ‘wealthier,’ to accumulate all capital and get the most interests over time through our inversion?

 

Have a look at our thoughts and mind experiences: we are always seeking to make ourselves ‘worthy’ – or the direct opposite which works the exact same way – which cannot possibly exist other than in a mental-delusion of something being able to be  ‘more’ or ‘less’ in reality. The current separation that has become real is the outflow of these values we have imposed onto life; it’s in the current structure and functioning of the money system in which we have delegated our one and equal expression into a system that creates a surrogate experience of life, degrading it into a ‘cheap’ version of energies as emotions and ‘feel good vibes’ through a mechanism where loss and gain is made possible,  enslaving life to a binary programmed system of self-limitation, which reflects upon our money system: our own power-structure that decides who lives and who dies.

 

All of this begins by this acceptance and allowance of ourselves seeking validation in separation of who we are as life, as one and equal. We have ‘forgotten’ – or neglected – the fact that Life is the only value that is here, that is real and as such it is and cannot exist as something ‘measurable’ within an abstraction such as the money-belief-system that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to create and manifest in separation of life as who we really are.

 

We have to stop being appraisers of each other through the Capital-Eyes of money that we have created as a survival of the fittest jungle world, which implies that those that are not ‘worthy’ to the system, those that cannot ‘capitalize themselves’ because of being born in a readily-existent position of scarcity and lack of money, don’t stand a chance to ‘make it’ within this world. We are so compartmentalized in our own petty experiences that we cannot even fathom the extent of suffering that someone is going through as the result of us accepting and allowing the current world system ‘as is’ until now. 

 

Hence this survivalism is and has become the current constant competition and strive to live wherein money becomes equal to the appraisal’s judgments upon ourselves to remunerate us with creating a positive experience when being valued as ‘worthy’ and a negative experience when being valued as ‘unworthy.

 

The only Value that can exist is Life itself – that’s the value of Money in the Equal Money System -and because it exists in Equality, all value becomes irrelevant, just like a God that cannot exist if all is one and equal. God – as the Capitalized delusional concept and belief of an almighty superior being/ force in existence – can only exist if someone is subordinated and/ or deliberately subjugated to a lesser position = that can only be done through the deliberate  imposition of psychopathic systems to create and manifest separation from ourselves as Life, that we have violated into a ‘divide and conquer’ principle in the name of ‘power’ which can only come through abuse, wherein every single person is currently living by its rule of thumb in this world. 

 

It is unacceptable, we created this and it’s time to Stop.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a system of abuse without having ever questioned the ‘unreality’ that exists as values imposed to life that is here, values created by and through our very own mind, a mind that we are constantly seeking to re-charge to continue Capital-I-zing the idea of ourselves to get to a final state of ‘ultimate bliss’ and ‘fulfillment’ and ‘completion’ as the accumulation of energy as money, as positive judgments and experiences that can only exist if others are abused, subjugated and diminished to a lesser position so that I can stand in full-glory of myself.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having conveniently veiled and diminished my ability to understand this reality as the world system,  by delegating life and my self-direction through a mind system that is and has become the surrogate ‘living experience’ that can only function through and as an energetic system of abuse.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept such diminishment and enlargement of ‘who I am’ as values, beliefs and perceptions of ‘who I am’ as my mind, wherein I can see and realize that the ‘who I am’ is existing as thoughts, experiences, definitions as the energetic personality that I have carried and lived-as within my mind, which separates me from the very physical body and reality that is here as myself, the reality that I have abdicated my responsibility to within the moment that I opted to live within a pursuit of power, happiness, bliss, glory and eternal life as all the positive experiences that I allowed myself to accept as ‘what life is,’ as ‘successful living.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be educated to ‘capitalize’ the Idea of myself, gaining props and escalating positions to get to a secure point within the world system, wherein money is then assured as a validation, a licensed version of myself as being a ‘worthy system of life’ within the configuration of this entire world system of energetic abuse that I accepted and allowed myself to exist as.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek validation and being ‘worthy of life’ at the I’s of other capitalized mind systems, feeding off of each other to inflate the idea of ourselves, to create a delusional value that is beyond the physical flesh and bones as the substance that is who we really are in this world and reality.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to ever question the value systems existing in this world as the projection of the very value-systems that I have created, categorized and schemed within my own mind. This implies that I, as the creator of this system of abuse, is entirely responsible for all forms of separation and degradation of life due to and by the acceptance of a system of energetic abuse to exist as the illusion of living, as the equation of life to experiences generated by and through each participant’s mind in this reality.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create an energetic dependency to be constantly seeking validation outside of myself, which means seeking to sip and drain energy from the physical life substance to generate my personal entertainment and surrogate living as thoughts, feelings emotions which I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘identify’ myself with as ‘who I am,’ while neglecting the actual reality of suffering that stems from the polarized version of my pleasant experience of ‘success.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge ‘economy’ as a delusional pseudo-science, without realizing that it has become the very externalization of my own mind as this entire world system, as the study of the relationships of abuse and violation to the equality and oneness that is and has been here as myself. I did this to myself and the only point that is left, is forgiving myself for abdicating life to an experience –

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from life through the creation and manifestation of Money, from that very energy that I have used to abuse, to have an experience of ‘power’ over this reality and instead of questioning it further, I con-formed to it and abdicated any questioning towards it, because of wanting to remain in the most ‘comfortable’ position at all times.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ‘accept the system as is’ which implies never having even questioned my own mind, my own feelings and emotions and the generation of them as something that can alter ‘who I am’ at any given moment.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to live a surrogate life through the mind, where who I really am as life has been suppressed, contained and enslaved to an energetic system of co-dependency and parasitism that exists as the mind system that we all accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become.

 

I realize that I am the only one here that is responsible for this – one and equal as all participants are equally here as myself – thus, it is our individual responsibility to Stop this system of energetic dependency of ourselves as our mind, as thoughts, feelings, emotions, desires, dreams, pursuits of happiness, bliss, love and validation that can only exist in separation of the recognition of who we really are as life, as one and equal.

 

I commit myself to become the ‘I’ that stops all capitalism to exist within and as me, as my very own mind-patterns that seek to be validated, to be augmented in ‘value,’ that seek to be the ‘wealthiest’, the ‘most valued product’ in order to get the most Interest out of that accumulated Capital that I have invested myself with and enslaved my life to.

 

I breathe and realize that the extent of abuse that has stemmed form a single belief system of us being and existing as ‘separate’ from life, has deviated into our current reality = we are all responsible for it.

 

Thus what I can practically and physically do is:

I commit myself to stop all value-systems to exist within me, rating, assessing, appraising and oppressing the very life that I am by  my deliberate participation in a limited scope of ‘myself’ that I have become as a mind consciousness system.

 

I commit myself to integrate into this physical reality within and as a principle of what’s best for all, wherein the actions, words and thoughts that I create are self-directed and self-willed as the volition of Life that can only exist if all is equally considered within every decision made to have an outflow that’s best for all.

 

I commit myself to become part of the individuals that make sure that this world system as it is currently exists, as the reflection of myself as a mind system, ends –  this is done through and by Me stopping Capital-i-zing Myself through thoughts, feelings, emotions, desires, future projections of superiority and ‘greatness’ as self-interest that can only exist and be manifested if I allow myself to participate within such thoughts as desires, wants and needs. Therefore, I realize that the ability to stop participation in any thought, feeling, emotions and pattern that makes me ‘more’ or ‘less’ through an experience of the mind is in my hands.

 

I commit myself to walk my own mind of thoughts, feelings, pictures, emotions, memories, beliefs and any other experience to which I have diminished myself to, as the ego that I have capitalized and rated as a positive or negative experience within my participation in the mind.

 

I commit myself to get to a point of being equally here as the physical as myself by directing me from here on to do and live that which is best for all life, where no limitation and no excess can exist, where no devaluation and no inflation can exist, as I realize that who I am as the physical is constant and consistent as the very breath that keeps me alive.

 

I commit myself to live the words I write here and face the consequences that are already here as the outflows of having abdicated all self-responsibility to an automated system of self-abuse that I am still currently existing as within and without. Yet, it is within me that the key exists to become Self-Honest and stop the cycles of abuse for once and for all.

 

I commit myself to ‘validate’ myself as the application of the words I write here – I am the only one that is able to do that for myself in Self Honesty and only accumulate that which is Best for All Life

 

“I commit myself to understand that to bring about a world that is best for life I will have great resistance both from my mind and my body as my body is controlled  at the moment by my mind as well as from other people as minds and controlled bodies, but I will walk as I understand just like in my process, the time will come where the physical reminder of what is real will be so clear and shocking that the mind will stop and the person will hear and come to their senses of the physical world to begin their process to re-align with that which is best for all life.” Bernard Poolman 

 

I see and realize that the only way we can end ‘Capitalism’ is by stopping the delusional current money system that stems from our very own minds as a accepted praise to that which is ‘superior’ which can only exist through abuse.

The world is in reverse, people – we’ve got a lot of work ahead here, and we will walk this until  it is done.

 

Join us at Desteni

Check out the Forum for further support to walk out of our minds and into the physical.

 

 

 

Educate yourself about the Money System and read the support necessary to start considering beyond our Eyes and dare to live as physical beings that realize that breathing must be easy for all if we all support an Equal Money System that ensures a dignified living for all beings in this reality.

 

Blogs:

DAY 1: Who I Am as Money
DAY 2: Who I Am as Money – continued
Day 2: Happiness and Me

2012 Self Honesty as Fear Label

“…we’ve become dependent on fear as a survival instinct and so actually fear commonsense and integrity as it is experienced/believed to be a ‘weakness’ – you have to live in fear in order to survive as the law in the matrix goes” Sunette Spies

There is indeed a label placed onto people that are common-sensical, have integrity as a human being and are ‘honest’ within the system’s terms. Fear of survival is that inherent ‘nature’ that we have accepted and allowed as part of the conditions to socialize and interact with other human beings in our reality. We don’t get to know ‘why,’ we just learn ‘that’s how things work’ and don’t dare to even question it further, because that also relegates you to the status of  ‘questioning God’- and that is something apparently untouchable and unable to be doubted. However, our actions and interaction mechanisms reveal the fact that they are actually NOT based on what is best for all at all.

 

What I see is that the ‘fear label’ of being an integral and common sensical person deemed as ‘weak’ is how bullying begins. There is an acceptance that exists behind this, and it is learned at home: you must cheat, lie and deceive if you want to thrive in the system – you must play the game no matter what if you want to live – and that goes unquestioned as well.

 

I have exposed in previous blogs here how I had a difficult time having to ‘get into the system,’ because I was so uncomfortable whenever I had to lie or do something that was merely done to be ‘accepted within the system.’ I had linked it to the culture I live in, wherein lying, deceiving, being corrupt is ‘our every day bread’ as it’s said – meaning, everyone does it, everybody knows and if you don’t do it: you are stupid and weak for not playing rough.

 

There are sayings that imply that you must cheat in order to succeed – hence anyone that is not willing to play that game is usually kicked out of the game and crucified, which means instigating hatred through what we commonly know as ‘bullying.’ The reality is that it is not only a ‘childhood/ teenage’ thing, it is a common way to threaten anyone that wants to straighten the laws of the current crooked system.  That’s how politicians that were intending to create a change were deliberately killed before getting to be presidents – that’s an example that happened here in 1994. And there are even movies that depict how anyone that has ‘good intentions’ within the political realm, will eventually be sucked in by the system simply because of being threatened to death to do so.

 

Thus, what is a bully but a person that judges a being that is mostly honest and common sensical – but because of them not ‘playing the game’ of  fear of survival and fueling the necessary opposition to create rivalry and competition that others can ‘beat’ and win over, the being is forced to participate by deliberately attacking and instigating reactions, which is exactly how within the system we learn that we ‘need to suffer to live’ and other bs like that. All about power games and emotional reactions that keep everyone well fed within a particular suit in the world.

 

“And yet – the positive illusion is so blinding that reality is not seen at all – or, is it that reality is deliberately denied because the illusion is just better and how they suppress the voices and sights in their mind/media of the reality of the situation and fall back into the bliss of the illusion of mind – too scared to face the truth they know already exist: positivity is making no difference to the reality of here

Sunette Spies

 

This is how far we have gotten ourselves as humans – that’s how anything that promotes Equality, Self Honesty, Life, Neighborism, Self Support, Self Forgiveness is tagged as a threat to the ‘status quo’ which is nothing else but living in absolute fear of each other, in constant competition and comparison, living to the rule of thumb of who lives and who dies based on ‘how well you adapt’ to the system of getting to the top no matter how many heads have to fall to do so – and the permanent underlying reason to do so is: Money.

 

And we claim evolution? Fascinatingly enough, evolution contains the word ‘love’ backwards – loveillusion can be the way to describe how these survival mechanisms are accepted, promoted and even defended with the proudly worn crowns of ‘free-will,’ ‘free-choice’ and thinking that ‘competition is healthy’ to create ‘well-bred human beings that make the best of their lives’ – however this free-willer type of statements are based upon equating ‘the best they can’ to their personal gain and satisfying a personal interest that is based mostly on being powerful = having money, ‘being successful in the system’ which, as we know, can only be done if participating within the rules of the game = if you don’t dare to abuse, you are not considered a productive element of society.

 

We have compromised each other to this mechanism and dared to call it ‘making a living,’ existing in fear of each other, transforming ourselves into survival robots that forgot everything about living in common sense – and that’s simply because of how we have structured and based our living reality upon laws and structures that are definitely NOT supporting the well being of all beings, but only perpetuating the same ‘survival of the fittest,’ because that ensures competition, consumerism and the replenishing of the system itself.

Once again without friction/ energy going on, there is nothing that moves the cathode to the anode and the light is not generated.

 

When we dare to see how we exist and what we have created of this system as ourselves, you inevitably change your perspective about your world and reality – if daring to be Self Honest about it. So, what Sunette explains is how we tend to ‘fall back into the mind’ wherein we keep ourselves in that instant gratification of ‘positivity,’ ‘love,’ the eternal pursuit of happiness wherein you can take a chill pill and pretend that ‘everything is fine.’ Sometimes this is not only about drugs, but merely constant self-talk on how ‘beautiful life is’ while neglecting the millions that are starving today.

 

“In a world flooded with positive thinkers, we have hell being born.” – Bernard Poolman

 

This is how our media and enter.tamement operates: ‘be happy, be healthy, seek for your next greatest excitement, seek the truth of yourself, spread love, ‘be yourself’ because you’re worth it and buy your happiness in the mall of your choice – get plastic surgery, look like people in magazines because they are ‘the’ role model to follow, you want to be like them, you can’t just aspire to be like them, you must become them. Get more money, work harder, you’ll eventually ‘get it.’ And billions live by this constant backchat impulsed by all media, family, school, society – virtually any man-made reality is based on these principles, just for the sake of keeping an economic system deliberately designed to enslave some, place others in a perpetual throne while spreading new ways to create illusions of ‘fool.fillment’ to attain to.

 

“Humanity is not growing in any other way but in the rising of consumption in the constant desire to have the next item that will create a feeling of happiness through entertainment” – Bernard Poolman

 

Life is NOT about any of what we have believed it to be about thus far – is Life about working your entire life until you die, having only made enough money to get by? No. Is Life about seeking to be accepted within a certain social-stratum in order to believe that you are now ‘worthy’ and ‘valuable’ in life? No – Who has placed such concepts like ‘value’ upon life to begin with!? We have. We are responsible for it, without any question.

 

Thus, what have we enslaved us to: to spawn beings that will be wrought by the ‘rules of the system’ wherein if you look like someone that would not ‘break a plate’ – which is stealing, cheating, deceiving, abusing in order to thrive – then you are seen as  a threat to the dog-eat-dog world. And it is fascinating that I had not seen this as clear as it is until today. Have a look at your matrix personality designs wherein ‘nerds’ or clear-headed kids are bullied because they are not ‘playing the game’ and fighting toward others to ‘get to be the king of the hill.’ I mean, they are relegated to being some anomaly that must be exterminated – and that’s how by default, only the ones that dared to play the game become part of the successful-stories of humans that ‘make it’ – those that didn’t dare to do the same,  remain secluded and ostracized. This is the proof of how the ‘rules of the game’ are in fact evil.

 

“Is the drive for profit a fear not fully realized yet? Or do those that thrive in the system place profit above all morality as they belief the less the consumer know, the less the possibility of fear?”
Bernard Poolman

 

No positivity will ever change the world because how can any form of ‘goodness’ be created upon a thick layer of slaves that are working 18 hours a day for you to have your latest iPad, which is a ‘symbol of success,’ success that you seek with such positivity and light-loving nature of asking it to the universe – Who is the real evil in this world to neglect the abuse and suffering that ‘successful lifestyles’ are based upon?

 

Not wanting to step out of the love and light illusion should be considered as a crime against life. There is no worse sickening bullshit being peddled around other than ‘seeking your next greatest excitement’ while having over half of the world suffering for not having the least to have a dignified living condition.

 

Do we have to go as far as having to lose it all in order to open our eyes to see the LIE we have created as an illusion of life? Do we have to get to the bottom of our self-created pit and exist in regret for the rest of our existence because of having neglected the reality that is HERE as ourselves, as our world? I say no – stand up from your meditation cushion, take off the blindfold, be part of the ones that stop nagging and inducing others to be abusive to thrive in this world, that stop pretending that living is achieving the ultimate status of a famous and powerful person while neglecting the lives that had to be enslaved to build such empire of dirt.

 

Time to wake up– we are here and ready to Stop All Fears in our Reality as this is the KEY to realize how much we have feared each other. Dare to be Self-Honest to stop being a happy-positive cogwheel that churns on fears and desires and self-induced needs that are not actually related to actual-living at all.

You don’t need love, you don’t need light, you don’t need ‘God’ – all you require is having the courage to live in Self Honesty which is not about ‘doing the right thing,’ but going through a process of self-investigation to see what we are participating in that is keeping the current system of abuse in place, and how to correct ourselves to create a reality that’s best for all, daring to expose the lies that we have ‘lived’ thus far and actually do something about it.

 

“The message of God uses the Fear of God to drive followers to the Love of God. This confirms that the source of Love is Fear. The world is Evidence that Love will never conquer Fear.” – Bernard Poolman

cara1

 

 

 

Suggested read:

Jack – The Courage to live Self-Honestly

Books:

Spirituality Under the Microscope – Volume 1

Audio Interviews:

Money is the Light of God on Earth

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