Tag Archives: suffering

570. I Matter and Selflessness

Or debunking the notion that ‘I had to suffer’ in order to create a change in the world

selfless

n   adjective concerned more with the needs and wishes of others than with one’s own.

 

‘I Matter’ came at a timely moment where I had been in a way ‘breaking through’ this very ingrained pattern of ‘being there more for others than myself’ at least in my mind and in my approach to every single moment of my day where, the moment that I stepped out of my usual routine, I got to experience this idea of me possibly doing something ‘wrong’ or ‘bad’ because of not doing some usual things that are mostly destined – in my mind and how I would approach it – ‘to and for others’. Now, it wasn’t like I was going to stop doing them altogether, but simply taking some time ‘off’ enabled me to see what kind of fears and judgments emerged in relation to ‘my role towards others’ and seeing that idea of myself as this ‘example for others’ threatened by me not being consistent with something as simple as posting a blog and of course within this context of ‘walking process’ which then makes it more of a mandatory activity or ‘religious habit’ than an actual self-support point, which I definitely challenged throughout that time to see what ‘remains’ of me if I don’t do what I would set myself to do on a daily basis, which I had defined more as ‘doing it for others’ than ‘doing it for myself,’ which is what I am working on redefining and aligning within me.

So, what this enabled me to see is that there is/was a dimension of motivation through this ‘role’ that I took on within myself where I had to be consistent ‘at the eyes of others’ or ‘for others’ or ‘to be an example for others’ and through that, continuing validating myself, continuing to exist in ‘my place in the world’ so to speak defined by what I believe is relevant of my doings ‘towards others/ for others’ only, and that’s what I had to open up in relation to this word ‘selfless’ and how I had lived that word throughout my life.

How I noticed this pattern is also when being in the context of ‘taking some time off’ and at times not being able to fully ‘let go’ of myself and stopping judging the world as ‘unjust or unfair,’ being more concerned with the lack and suffering of others I’d see around me – or what I believe is their suffering – which invariably would affect me at some level as well, and in that going into a slight ‘sinking’ experience of me not doing anything about it which translates into a form of ‘guilt’ and at times ‘shame’ for having the opportunity to take some time off, enjoy myself and let go of my day to day routine for some time which surely enough, not everyone in this world has a luxury to have, however if I continue comparing what I have and what others don’t have every single moment of my day, I’ll only continue torturing myself to death and at the same time this comparison doesn’t sort out a thing in relation to other’s livelihood and reality.

I also got to understand that when I get to have such opportunity to ‘take some time off’ existing in guilt, embarrassment, shame, remorse or any other form of judgment is not going to change other people’s reality and context and instead, I end up affecting myself with constantly seeing ‘everything that’s wrong’ in the world which leads me nowhere in that moment, because I cannot practically ‘change’ people’s livelihood situation such as poverty, misery or suffering by me feeling ‘compassion’ towards them in a form of suffering, guilt or shame. And that’s more or less what had been a constant in my life up to this point, where I believed that I had to be selfless, to fully and totally focus on others and seeing this as a virtue – but is it really?

It is ok to consider others sure and not live only in a ‘me, me, me’ bubble all the time, but not to the extreme of allowing myself to be emotionally affected by others’ lives/experiences and having a twisted belief that ‘I should suffer’ in some way to create a form of again twisted ‘solidarity’ towards them. This practically meant in my mind and life having to avoid self-enjoyment, not giving myself ‘time off’ from my day to day routine, choosing to live at times in quite uncomfortable situations and environments within the belief that ‘If others can live like this, then I should as well’ and believing that through doing this I was being ‘more equal to’ the majority of the world, the ‘reality’ of this world – no different to people that decide to recluse themselves in a monastery and go at times without eating or enduring physical pains in order to reach some kind of ‘holiness.’

All of this is part of the same design and construct of being ‘morally upright’ and believing that I could lead a life to ‘teach others’ how to ‘consider others’ and in that, live an austere life because apparently that would make me ‘holier than thou’ lol – or in my particular construct ‘more equal to others,’ at times renouncing to points of luxury because of perceiving that I’d do more harm than good with them. Anyways, the examples could go on and on within this particular construct and no, it’s not about me going to the opposite extreme now, but surely it is about stopping my own constant judgment and comparison of everything that relates to, in essence, money and the comforts or disadvantages that lacking money brings in a person’s life or my own.

Therefore, I realized how through constantly focusing on others’ needs and constantly seeking out to find the ‘suffering’ in others, the ‘lack’, seeing only ‘the problems,’ I became the problem myself to a certain extent, seeing no way out in this world, seeing only problems, becoming emotionally affected by it and all, without seeing how this is in fact self-interest, because I cannot practically change anyone’s life by suffering ‘with them,’ or by ‘feeling sorry for them’ or commiserating with them, I only keep becoming ‘the problem’ myself by only feeling ‘bad’ about it all but doing nothing for myself, for my own life and through that to that of others in a practical manner.

What does this practically imply? I have to stop recreating and existing in any form of guilt within seeing the systemic problems we have created in this world. Stop existing in a form of ‘depression’, ‘sadness’, ‘shame’ or even ‘anger’ upon witnessing the reality of those that don’t have a comfortable economic position in this world, because my emotions won’t ever sort out their position, their situation, ever. And this then at the same time means that I have to embrace what I have, what I can live, do, express, expand on for and as myself. To no longer believe that I had to ‘diminish’ myself because ‘oh others are suffering in this world’ which as ludicrous as it may sound, I was in fact functioning within such mentality, which dare I say becomes also a comfortable excuse to appear to be ‘selfless’ and ‘benevolent’ at the eyes of others or doing ‘supportive stuff’ for others, but not really doing something substantial for ourselves, our lives, our experience, our actual living potential as ‘I Matter.’

What can I instead do? Is realizing first and foremost that ‘I Matter’ and that I have to stop focusing so much on ‘the world’ and ‘others’ needs’ and trying to be Mother Theresa in whichever way I was attempting to be ‘for others’ and become a bit more selfish in a supportive manner, focusing on what I can in fact do, develop and be for and by myself, which interestingly enough I had judged to do for such a long time because ‘it doesn’t benefit others directly!’ apparently, but! I had not considered that dimension of understanding ‘I Matter’ and what this in fact means in our relationship to who we are, what we are, what we can be and become and create in our lives and world, how it is in the very relationships that we create, on our day to day actions or inactions that we in fact can create an impact in this world! Not through me believing I am ‘caring for others’ by only worrying about them and denying my own self enjoyment and self-expression through a form of guilt or shame disguised as vows of ‘austerity’ and ‘compassion’ – that’s never going to lead me anywhere but to a suppressed self-expression disguised as selflessness, benevolence, a form of ‘sainthood’ that in the long run, would have turned me into a very bitter, frustrated, envious, regretful individual that would place ‘What I’ve done for others’ as a form of spite against the world.

I’ve definitely known people like that and it is very hard to deal with them, because the whole point of ‘doing things for others’ becomes an apparent ‘benevolent excuse’ to be spiteful, to be jealous, to judge others, to compare what ‘one has done’ with what ‘others had done or haven’t done’ because it apparently creates a right to place oneself on a pedestal of ‘being good to others’ or ‘helping so many people in the world’ while actually – maybe and possibly – denying one’s own development of support, care, growth, expansion and expression within one’s own life.

So, I am at the same time grateful of having interacted with people that have such design and seeing firsthand how that ends up manifesting with decades of existing in such ‘sainthood’ or ‘selfless’ pattern at a later stage in their lives, so that I can see them as an example of what I have to change right now in my life, in my approach towards me and others, what it means to live the words ‘I Matter’ for me, as me, in what I do, what I create, who I am in supporting others’ and within that, letting go of creating a front of ‘serving others’ only as a primary definition of who I am, because as much as it might seem a ‘benevolent’ thing or beneficial for others, within this construct and not balancing it out with ‘I matter’ as self-care, self support, self recognition, self worth, doing it for me, it can become a time-bomb to create a life of dissatisfaction where one could eventually get to see that ‘all I’ve done has always been ‘for others’ and I forgot about myself in that’ which I consider would be something I’d end up regretting at the end of my life.

Therefore to me it’s time to focus on me, to learn to live the words ‘I Matter’ first and foremost, to let go of my subtle guilt trips or perceived ‘duties’ in relation to others and rather stand ‘alone’ in the sense of stopping having ‘others eyes on me’ in my mind, stand as who I am for and as myself and not within ‘who I am to others,’ which is the definition I have to now give back to myself entirely through self support, self worth, self dedication, self appreciation, living authority and leadership for and as myself – and walk the actuality of it in my day to day, to see how it works out. Who knows, maybe it is not ‘the right way,’ maybe it leads me to a ‘wrong path’ but that’s what I’ll find out for myself. So far it’s been quite liberating to see this construct within me and redefine the approach to my life, therefore I don’t claim to have any answers or ‘right paths,’ this is just what I’ll be living and testing out for myself and sharing it as part of walking this process of self-support and living words and placing the focus of purpose and what matters within my own life, within myself, as myself.

I’ll continue expanding on redefining some of the words that I’ve used to live through this construct of ‘moral uprightness’ or ‘sainthood’ or ‘serving others’ or ‘benevolence’ or whichever other name it can have, which I now see has been there for as long as I can remember in my life and for once and for all debunk the notion or idea of people with this construct as ‘good people’ or ‘exemplar’ because if we forget about ourselves in the equation, we are in fact doing a disservice to our own lives and becoming a charitable person, a ‘selfless person’ that is neglecting one’s own wellbeing, which is the same as dishonoring the matter, the life that we are in fact as ourselves.

So, time to get ‘back to self’ for me.

Thanks for reading.

 

 

 

Join us in our process of Self-Expression as LIFE

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392. Why are Emotional Relationships a Fuckup?

Continuing from:

 

“So the disillusionment with arts have to do with My Own expectations about it. How I thought that this was ‘the way’ to change the world and of course I didn’t follow through with ‘becoming an artist’ in the traditional sense which I then perceived as myself already ‘opting out’ of it all and seeing the sheer idea of dedicating myself to ‘create art’ as utterly selfish, without realizing how much I had desired ‘that’ to be my reality before. I’ve also been recently sharing about these points with people, explaining how I’m not proud of the decisions I made earlier on in my life and how I would not recommend anyone to study arts. I do however not say ‘don’t study arts’ but simply place my own expectations, my own experience, my decision to do something else and how such studies were a nice platform but not real tools that I can apply to what I am doing now.” From 387. The Love/Hate Relationship with Art

 

Nostalghia

 

Facing Myself, my Relationships through the Relationship with Art

I suggest to read:  What does it Mean to Have a Relationship with Oneself? – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 608 by Andrew Gable

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my relationships based on emotions and feelings wherein it doesn’t matter whether it is arts or a person or a responsibility or a place, the moment that I create emotional and feeling attachments to places/people/objects/professions then I begin creating my own trap through definitions based on what I believe that ‘I like’ and what I believe is ‘my thing’ based on nothing else but emotions, feelings, experiences that I went attaching toward something/someone over time, and then believing that I am in fact all of these experiences, emotions and feelings in relation to something or someone, without realizing that such experiences cannot define what such something or someone is in fact, as it is all entirely self-created, it is me-myself that has created this experience within me.

Within this premise, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to immediately automate the words ‘my relationship to/with something/someone’ being defined as an experience that I have built toward something or someone instead of the actuality of how I participate, interact with, communicate with /through something or someone and within that realizing that any experience that I create is entirely my own and has nothing to do with that something or someone but myself at all times.

Therefore I realize that the projections upon ‘art’ is in fact the experience that I have created toward the who I was within that time of my life when I chose to study art and that If I were to place myself within that same frame of mind 7 years ago, I would probably still go for that choice in life, which means that it is a decision I made entirely based on what I wanted to experience and who I wanted to be as a personality, an ego and satisfy my drive that I went building up throughout time to ‘make it’ within the art world – so this point I have opened up before however now I am able to see that it has nothing to do with ‘art’ in itself, I’ve made of art the excuse to project my own judgments toward my decisions, the way that I established relationships toward this something that I ‘built myself’ around, and as such because I realized I could not continue constructing myself as ‘an artist’ within the initial ideals I had, then I acted in spite and begun regretting and embarrassed by my choices in life as I see them as ‘useless’ without realizing that I was actually reacting at all the various others things I did in my life throughout that time of which I cannot be proud of either and that I cannot certainly recognize as ‘myself’ any longer so

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define me according to the relationships that I built with people and with specifically my career as ‘arts’ which in fact reflect all the choices in my life, the people that I chose to surround myself with and that I cannot really judge myself for who I was back then as back then I had no awareness of the points I am aware now.

So I realize that I have to stop being ‘hard’ on myself based on this hidden-experience of having ‘the past haunting me,’ and so be able to finally let go of it as I do not have to re-enact this kind of shame or embarrassment about myself, my past relationships, my emotionally-driven decisions in life because it is to realize that back then I didn’t know any other way – and so instead I am grateful to be able to be here writing myself, having deviated from ‘the path’ that I had initially chosen as god knows where the hell I would be if I had followed through my ‘lifestyle’ and the relationships I built around the same ego and personality that I was. I rather see and recognize that I’ve definitely moved on from that phase of my life, but! Also realizing that every time that I create an experience toward any memory, any relationship, any past choice including my decision to study arts, I recreate the entire network of ‘the who I was’ in my past and as such I continue enslaving myself to those relationships and only fuel the negative experiences that are the opposite polarity to the initial positive experiences that I used to build my relationships with people and with the profession/career I was veering myself toward.

And within this, I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to follow the usual pattern within the mind which is ‘dissing’ something once that one has squeezed the last drop of positive experience out of it, which means that once that it ‘served me’ and ‘its purpose’ and I’ve hit the ground back into reality about it and I am no longer seeing visions based on emotional and feeling experiences, then I go into the opposite polarity of talking bad about it and feeling righteous within that, without realizing that it is only the predetermined and rather predictable outcome from an initial positive experience that I created with such ‘passion’ about it that when the whole experience was no more, I ‘dropped’ down to the bottom and the opposite – so it happened just like a typical relationship wherein people first get in love with each other and as time progress and the energy runs dry, they part ways and talk shit about each other, so that’s what I did toward ‘art,’ and I didn’t even realize it because to me it was so right that it hadn’t fulfilled my expectations that I believed I had ‘the right’ to feel that way about it, without seeing the obvious: it was a feeling, an emotion, a judgment that came from nothing else but the ‘who I was’ toward art and so, within this ‘dissing’ recreating my past relationship to art over and over again – trapping myself in my own past.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form emotional relationships toward what I deemed as ‘my career’ or ‘my path’ which in this case was art/being an artist and within this allow a physical process to become a rather emotionally driven relationship, similar to those that I’ve walked with individuals wherein there are a lot of feelings and emotions attached to something/someone that I want to hold onto and when the relationship is no more, such dependency then turns into a ‘lack’ of this fulfillment gotten from something or someone and as such, it turns into a form of bitterness ‘toward something or someone,’ without realizing that this all is really not about ‘art’ in itself or the people in my past relationships or else, it’s about myself and how I created relationships of dependency upon others in order to ‘satisfy me’ or ‘complete me’ or give me some kind of experience to which I could define myself, build myself, construct and upgrade myself as the ego that I was wanting to be within the ‘who I am’ as a professional artist as well as within the relationship formed in relation to who I am as an artist and in relationship to others.

 

Therefore I realize that the best way to follow through with this is to entirely let go of my experiences toward my past specifically and so be able to give myself back to myself as being able to focus on what is here, what I am working with, what I am developing as myself and also to align my relationship to art and be able to enjoy it, visiting museums or read about it, hear it, interact with it without loading the entire experience of ‘going to the museum’ and defining myself according to that any longer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be spiteful in the past few years and whenever I would talk about some forms of contemporary art become infuriated and a bit angry about what I defined as being utterly selfish and self-centered and ‘useless’ to the problems that I was then realizing were ‘much more important than that’ – and in this, I still agree that there are more important points in life than some kinds of art that are merely conceptual and contemplative and ‘useless’ as a tool to create practical solutions to the world – however, this obviously doesn’t justify the fact that I’ve been spiteful and holding this love-hate relationship to it, and within this only fueling an inner conflict of still being interested in or curious about the current art forms that are emerging while at the same time judging it as useless so here

I had considered myself to feel bitter about art

art-should-be

Bitter: causing pain or unhappiness. Feeling or showing angry hurt or resentment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bitter about art as in becoming resentful toward it and toward the people that create it, not realizing that I had exactly done the opposite for a prolonged period of time which is why the inner conflict arose in the first place, all based on me wanting to make of art the quintessential human experience and making it the most ‘honorable profession on Earth’ or so, and so believing that being an artist was the same or similar thing as to say I was chosen by god and/or touched by god, so in essence a lot of delusions of grandeur that I created within me and that I projected toward art. So, this bitterness as in being angry, resentful, dissatisfied toward art has to do with me having to let go of my own desires/hopes/dreams related to me becoming an artist. So once again, it has nothing to do with ‘art’ in itself but the expectations and experiences I created toward it and so, when realizing I had to stop pursuing my mind any further and only feeding my ego, that’s when the opposite relationship came up.

When and as I see myself feeling bitter about any form of art that I may see, read about or even people that create art and discuss their work – I stop and I breathe, I ensure that I am not tensing my physical body and experiencing that bolt of energy within me wanting to ‘let them know the truth about their creation’ which is in fact nothing else but me wanting to ‘express’ through reaction, as if I had ‘the truth’ within myself and so within this actually becoming nothing more than an ego that wants to be recognized for ‘my new position’ which is not really supportive but only a packet of resentment, judgments and overall bitterness toward that which I once praised.

I realize that this all comes from how much the entirety of ‘my world’ and ‘myself’ that I deemed as ‘real’ and ‘genuine’ were in fact not, so this whole relationship with art I remember very well was the first initial ‘big hit’ that I took when understanding who we are as the mind, as a preprogrammed mind consciousness system and that the thing I feared losing the most was the personality I had created through/as art and having chosen that path for myself, which is why that initial big fear of loss about this self-definition had such a ‘big impact’ in the aftermath, wherein I allowed myself to not be entirely self-directive toward art but instead then create the opposite polarity and so still participating within the mind. And this came through even though I believed I was ‘well over with it,’ only to test out not long ago that there were still reactions coming through the more ‘artistic’ documentaries I would watch and wanting to ignore the reactions to it until I simply believed that I had to ‘speak my mind’ about it – and yes, it was ‘my mind’ and a till here no further to when and as I see myself questioning or asking another about their creation from the starting point of the ‘bitter drop-out of an artist’ that I became in my mind, and so stop defining myself based on the choices of the past and focus on communicating or creating a dialogue based on what we can learn from it, what can be useful to understand our human condition or even innovate and take points to be creative in the ways that I can support myself and others through this process while using art as a supportive tool for it, without endowing it the entire ‘duty’ of ‘changing the world’ in itself, which as I’ve previously discussed, it’s impossible.

When and as I see myself wanting to create an experience of spite or disdain and bitterness toward ‘art’ and seeing it as useless or pointless while at the same time being curious about it, I stop and I breathe – I realize that both the negative and positive experiences are only re-creations of the ‘who I was’ in the past as an art-lover and then the who I became as the anti-thesis of that which was pretty much being very critical toward art within a negative context, and so I simply stop, breathe and observe/interact with it without creating any experience but rather seeing it objectively for what it is. And this is the challenge really because I had cult-ivated the experiences attached to works of art and becoming emotional about it, which I also learned from books at the same time. So I realize that all of my emotions and feelings are in fact nothing else but knowledge and information that I’ve translated into energetic experiences that serve no purpose for me to interact with something or someone.

 

I commit myself to be able to be here as breath while witnessing performances, watching/visiting museums or art galleries and also to remain here as breath when getting too excited about seeing something because that’s also once again recreating the same pattern of the visual vicious – which I’ve talked about extensively of – and so realize it’s just images, it’s just pictures, it’s just a part of reality and the only way I can ‘react’ to something is if I ‘load’ all my past-definitions in order to react based on memories and the knowledge that I had built around art and the ‘who I am’ toward art. So I can practically simply stop those past definitions and focus on reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to read about the Stendhal syndrome in some book and consider that I would get this kind of experiences such as seeing ‘the sublime’ and mostly images that would depict the end of the world, which is why I focused myself so much on depicting the end of the world and getting a kick out of it, and believe that these emotions were ‘normal’ to me and that I had all the right to ‘express them’ but, the reality is that it was all a self-created experience and that there was no ‘magic’ or ‘real connection’ to painting or anything like that which I believed was something ‘special’ within me. Therefore I realize that these experiences were pretty much all created within my desperate need to ‘feel something’ because I had deemed the ability to ‘feel’ as in becoming emotional as special, as sensitive, as ‘unique’ in a human being – and so I created my own web of experiences according to how I would see others would feel and so mimic it, read books that were very emotional and then going determining what I would find as ‘emotional’ and what I would like to experience and so integrate as part of the ‘who I was’ as the characters that I read about and that I eventually wanted to create for myself.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to made of past relationships as something conflictive and filled with ‘turmoil’ inside my mind as I realize that this was also part of the definition of who I wanted to be as a very sensitive person in order to be able to have stories to tell or talk about, as I believed that I had to suffer to make any real art. Therefore, I realize that any experience I created toward something or someone wasn’t part of reality as such, but entirely self created in my mind. Within this, I realize that also in my relationships the experiences I created about others were never ‘real’ as such, but only the plethora of experiences and definitions I created upon them – that’s why once the energy ran dry and seeing the individuals or situations that I was in within my life with sober eyes and frame of mind, the ‘truth’ of myself and the interactions with others/something came through as it is.

 

So a way to redefine a relationship it is to first of all no longer define tit through/as an emotion or feeling, something that we believe is ‘real’ in the mind based on memories, ideas, beliefs, past experiences that we then make real as our preference, as that which ‘we want,’ without taking physical reality into consideration.

Therefore an emotional relationship will always end up as a ‘fuck-up’ if it is not aligned to physical reality wherein I can stand as an individual that first of all ponders what it is that I sought in my relationship with something/someone that I believed I didn’t have myself, alone – and so realize that whichever I was expecting to get from ‘art’ or someone in my life were and had been all points of separation, illusions that I believed were unable to be experienced within me. So this is how the best way to create a relationship with someone or something is to ensure that it is seen through the eyes of physical reality, where no emotions, feelings, no past experiences, no ideals, wants, needs or desires become a decisive factor in terms of defining who I am toward others, as all I have to consider is myself and within doing that I can then interact with something/someone based on the principles that I can integrate within myself, as the relationship that I want to establish for myself so that no matter what I do, where I am, with who or alone, I remain stable, supporting myself, getting to know about others in the relationships formed with my reality, recognizing myself as one and equal with them, instead of seeing them as points to ‘fulfill me’ or things/experiences that I believed I lacked.

I realize that it’s been supportive to revisit this aspect of ‘my relationship to art’ to review my state of affairs in relation to other relationships based on emotions in the past, and so to focus on preventing further ‘fuckups’ as the ups and downs and polarity relationships of ‘love and hate’ as that is all of the mind –  instead there are more physical aspects and perspectives to consider here as well.

Life on Earth in itself is built through relationships, so I cannot define relationships only as personal relationships with something or someone, but rather realize that we are all made of and constantly require and exist as relationships that define the way we live in our world – therefore the more we are able to act, participate and be part of these relationships in a physical and common sensical manner without being driven by desires, hopes, dreams, fantasies and illusions, the more we will be able to begin changing the focus of our reality – from the distraction that emotional relationships are to a rather physical process of aligning ourselves to that which enables our coexistence in the best possible manner – no feelings/emotions required for that, no special relationships but rather the equalization and realization of who I am as this interdependence

 

to be continued…

Mechanical Heart 06

 

To learn more about how to establish proper Relationships suggest the Re-defining Relationships – Agreement Course  as well as:


389. Are Emotions Necessary to Be Creative?

Demystifying artistic endeavors and the experience during creative processes.

Continuing from:

 

Dejar de Sentir 04

For further context, an emotion is a usually negative experience that in my case I would use as a reason, starting point and ‘catalyst’ to create art. Now, one would believe that ‘negative experiences’ are usually undesirable, however in my case they became similar to how a person would want to hold on to happiness because of enjoying the experience of it. This is how I became a person that was more used to being within emotions rather than feelings – and the reason why being because I linked my experience as a response to me seeing the world around me and making ‘no sense of it,’ and as such having wanted to ‘escape’ it through my experience and my hobby, among other relationships and habits that were intertwined as a way to define ‘me’ as an emotional person that is too sensitive to the state of the world in which I would get to ‘feel good’ in such emotional states – therefore the context of this is to realize that an emotional experience even if it’s negative it is no different to being living through mostly feelings and ‘positive experiences’ as both are energy-based experiences that exist at a mind level.

 

Self Forgiveness on Emo-creations:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word ‘expression’ based on artistic creation and thus limit the word expression to be immediately linked to ‘creating artworks’ or producing a formal piece of art mostly through drawing and painting wherein I would define expressing as experiencing an emotion or feeling within me and producing something while experiencing such feeling or emotion, sometimes of anger, sometimes of gloom and doom – most of the times – sometimes a yearning, hope, hopelessness and some other times just imagining what it would be to live in a perfect world, sadness – all of these I had defined as ‘my expression’ because at that time I had linked the ‘who I am’ entirely intertwined with emotions. This I now realize is not who I really am as those are emotions and feelings that I created a relationship with based on how I would experience myself within them, and thus how I accepted them as ‘who I am’ and eventually believing that ‘this is My expression’ which means an experience that is generated while creating an artwork.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe at that time that my expression was ‘unique’ and that means that my constant ‘mood’ or ‘state of being’ as any of these emotions were my catalyst to express myself/to create – therefore that is how the moment that I stopped being hopeless, angry, sad or moody I stopped ‘expressing myself’ as in creating any artwork, just because of how much I had linked the two points in relation to my emotional experience. Therefore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my creative abilities and skills based on ‘how I would feel’ and as such determining and defining that I could only ‘express myself’ if I was feeling in a particular ‘mood’ and thus dooming myself to only ‘feel creative’ based on an emotional experience, without realizing that a creative process has nothing to do with an emotional experience as it is a physical act of arranging certain elements to create something physical, to develop certain skills and that has nothing to do with an emotion directing my hand or my use of materials to do something.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit the expression of ‘I’m feeling creative’ to an experience, an emotion such as sadness, hopelessness, anger or general state of doom and gloom that I would then get excited about in order to ‘let it all out’ in a painting or drawing or writing sometimes as well, which I see is all linked to how I would hear/read about other artists like painters or musicians or writers how they would feel a certain way when they would create at their best, and so believing within myself in a way that because I was stopping my emotional participation and feeling experiences, then I wasn’t going to be able to create ‘good stuff’ any longer – which is then limiting my creation to emotions and feelings and it shouldn’t be so.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘want to turn back time’ in order to change my decisions in life, which is rather not possible and it indicates that I haven’t dealt with the fact that I chose something based on my emotional experience about it and as such I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to choose and make decisions in my life based on how I felt about it, based on my emotional experience and pursuing further emotional involvement in my life, without then knowing or even realizing how this was going to only lead me to continue being in a certain state of mind and ‘mood’ wherein I would have not been able to be stable as I am now since I had linked – back then – the creative process to emotions, a continued state of doom and gloom and be glorified by it – which is something that I saw was ‘special’ about people like Frida Kahlo for example who became a background influence and how I saw suffering as the key for her to make real art, as well as that whole blog I wrote about ‘You’ll need to suffer to make any real art’ as I realize that it’s about time that we as humanity move from linking emotions and feelings to creations that can become a supportive tool to realize ourselves, instead of glorifying emotions and feelings and keep us all trapped in the same mindset of being a ‘tormented sensitive individual in this evil world’ which is how I would see myself back then.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ‘feel creative’ when I was frustrated and angry for me not being ‘creating anything’ and as such the last time that I painted for a day or so, I was experiencing mostly emotions that I tried to once again ‘let out’ through the creative process which is rather like a mindfuck really because I realize that painting is a physical act of having materials that one use to arrange and imprint and mold and shape things in order to be arranged as a final product/ a final something that I create. So, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I was incapable of creating anything ‘good’ without experiencing emotions such as sadness or being depressed and so linking my own stability to ‘not having anything to express’ or even ‘not being able to express now because I am not feeling that same way.’

I realize that it is about then dissociating any creative process from ‘how I feel’ or the ‘emotions’ I once believed I had to experience in order for me to ‘feel creative’ and realize that being creative is not a feeling, but a doing, a physical act of arranging certain matters and elements or images that I then use to create something that either generates a specific visual product or creative writing etc – anything that can be used to provide a message, to ‘say something’ through images or words or sounds or it all together. This is how then I see that my creative expression is linked to the media, the tools, the elements I can use to generate an expression, a message and that these are all conscious decisions and physical actions/moves to generate it and that I do not require an emotion to do it.

When and as I see myself believing that ‘I need to ‘feel creative’ as in being in a certain mood to create’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am limiting myself to experiencing emotions and not ‘any’ emotion but very specific ones in order to link it to ‘feeling creative’ which is not acceptable as I’ve already seen, realized and understood that ‘creating’ is a physical act, an intellectual process of picking elements and arranging them in order to produce a physical/digital product that I use to ‘express’ something, without this ‘expression’ meaning an emotion or a feeling only – but sometimes it is for the sheer aesthetics of it, sometimes in order to provide my own version of something I see in the world and this thus means stopping seeing ‘art’ as this emotional-creative process and creation as that is rather limiting once that I realize that I am here, I am a physical being and don’t really require emotions to exist and create.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that ‘something is missing’ while creating something and seeing it as ‘pointless’ because I had mostly defined the process of creation as ‘having to generate an experience within me’ and if this was not in place, then It was ‘useless’ – so this is obviously me as the mind speaking and defining what ‘gives it a kick’ as an experience, an emotion while creating something or afterward when seeing the ‘final product’ instead of realizing that anything we create is a physical thing and I do not require to ‘feel’ something while looking at it, while doing it or being creating something – as this would only be ‘feeding the mind’ that seeks an energetic experience out of it. So this implies that expression is just that, me extending myself to use what I have available to say something, to do something, to arrange something in a way that I decide it to be and with a particular purpose – and this is then only doing that, creating something.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link the definition of something being ‘pointless’ as in not getting an experience out of it in relation to the process of creating something or the final product thereof, based on how I would deem myself as ‘having a point’ or ‘having a reason’ to create when early on I would have people observing ‘my creations’ and writing about it or leaving comments or even poems to which I defined that ‘It meant something, I had a point’ and so when all of this stopped essentially because I stopped wanting to feed this ego of mine, then because I knew I wasn’t going to get the ‘energy fix’ out of it, then it became ‘pointless’ without realizing that this is once again the polarity creation of me first getting an energetic-kick out of ‘my creations’ and then when I stopped generating this emotions and experiences around it, then I saw it as ‘pointless’ – it’s only the mind speaking.

When and as I see myself having the starting point of ‘creating something’ based on the expectations of feedback, comments or others ‘admiring it’ – I stop and I breathe – I realize that anything I create is a process that I conduct out of my own volition, for my own support and to ‘straighten my ideas’ instead of expecting others to like it or praise it or comment on it, as this is already a conditional point to my expression based on ‘how others receive it’ which is usually how the ego that I formed in relation to ‘being an artist’ operates: doing things that would make me feel something while doing them, and also confirm such ‘specialness’ through the feedback I’d get from others. In this believing that without such ‘experience’ then it would be similar to rather doing nothing as ‘I would get nothing out of it’ lol, which is just ‘not getting and not participating’ in the ego-kick I had defined art to do ‘for me.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link the idea of ‘being creative’ to ‘being an artist’ and as such believing that ‘I am no longer creative because I am no longer emotional’ without realizing that this ‘linkage’ was created within the ‘who I was’ in the past and now I realize that being creative is simply having the ability to use what is here in order to ‘make’ something, to do something that can be supportive to convey a message, to be a supportive tool to illustrate something or sometimes just to make it for ‘the sake of it’ – however I understand that there is now the aspect of self-responsibility in everything that I create either at a mental or physical level and as such, I realize that doing something for the sake of ‘feeling’ something is not viable and not supportive – therefore I allow myself to see the word ‘creative’ or ‘being creative’ as what it means: doing something, making something from ‘scratch’ meaning using the elements that we have available in a particular order or arrangement to make something ‘new’ out of it – even if we cannot really create something ‘out of nothing’ as we always use what is here anyways.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that ‘because of Process I stopped creating’ when in fact it was me through my limited definition of ‘being creative only when I’m emotional’ that I then saw that it was ‘not possible’ for me to create while being ‘stopping participation in emotions and feelings’ and also because of linking ‘creating’ and ‘being an artist’ to already pursuing an experience of ‘being more than/ being special/ being unique/ having to build up this unique presentation of myself’ which are all stereotypes I’ve picked up throughout the years based on how I carefully planned myself, my ego/personality adding up bits and bits that would shape me into becoming the ‘special’ individual I wanted myself to be back then. Therefore when realizing the starting point of my decision to study art, to ‘be creative’ and to follow through with it all into a career, I stopped wanting to have anything to do with it based on my own self-dishonesty as the starting point to it. Hence the ‘hate’ experience toward it that emerged was based on me having to let go of that which I had first given a lot of value, time, effort to create – and so it was like having to deconstruct that which I had invested a lot of time, effort, money on and so believe that now that I have to deconstruct the ‘ego’ of myself that I’ve created as an artist, I cannot now dedicate myself to this as it would be dishonest’ without realizing that such statement is rather limiting as well, and nothing else but holding the same relationship of friction and conflict with it, instead of establishing an equality toward this profession and treat it like any other profession, instead of wanting to ‘scratch it out’ of my life almost – yet at the same time liking and enjoying even watching/looking at the stuff that I did before.

Therefore I realize that in order to align myself to this profession it is to precisely not look at it within the eyes and mind-frame of the ‘who I was’ as that is certainly not here as myself as the decision of who I want to be and become any longer, and it would be rather difficult for me to pretend to ‘feel’ the same way I used to – but this doesn’t mean that I don’t have now the ability to create/be creative and use any material, tool or media to do create something that can be useful to convey a message. I realize that most of my limitation to ‘create’ comes from re-enacting the overall cycle of regretting my decisions, regretting my choice of career and using this to stop me or preventing me from doing anything ‘creative’ or create something, which doesn’t make sense as it is only me in my mind preventing me from doing something based on the definitions I’ve charged to even the moment of preparing myself to pain or create something, believing that I should be ‘feeling’ in a certain mood, while I realize now that it doesn’t have to be that way at all now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in my mind as the ‘who I was’ apply the usual extremism of ‘If I won’t get my emotional fix from it, then I want nothing to do with it’ which is kind of like a tantrum kind of experience or even self-spitefulness when realizing that I cannot continue ‘feeding’ my obsessions so to speak, and creating this ‘special aura’ around myself as ‘the artist’ or any emotional experience and as such, there’s also that layer of not being able to now use art to ‘generate these things for me, therefore I dump it’ and so going into the polarity aspect of denigrating it, seeing it as useless/pointless based on the definitions I had created about it. I realize that in doing this I do nothing but reactivate the grudge or regret or any other experience I had held toward ‘art’ or my career or anything related to ‘artists’ themselves, instead of seeing them and the profession in itself as a any other occupation in this world that one can use and become it in order to direct a new way to live it, to participate in society, to create and innovate ways in which change at an individual level can be conducted.

In this case I realize that de-mystifying the artistic-personality as a highly emotional individual is quite overrated and I realize that it was my ideas, beliefs and perceptions that shaped this definition within me and that an artist itself should not be other than a human being that can use creative processes at a physical and intellectual level in order to provide his/her own view of the world in order to convey a message, or express something that can be received by others as a way of communication.

I commit myself to be able to use any media, elements and skills that I realize can be used to generate a product or ‘something’ that I can use to convey a message, no different to writing and no different to being painting or drawing or creating images, as we can communicate in many ways as human beings, using different tools and methods to it – therefore I use what is here without defining it any longer within the constrains of  my old definition of art, but redefine art as a human creation that is conveying a message, is saying something and that’s it. It doesn’t have to me more or less than that which is equal to everything and everyone else that is here as life.

 

I commit myself to not link words like ‘expression’ or ‘creativity’ to only exist within the past-mindframe of ‘artistic expression’ but to identify them within the physical context that they imply which is me deciding to use certain elements and tools to make something, arrange something in order to give it a purpose, a meaning, and an intent within it.

 

I realize how these experiences stem from the relationship I formed toward art, meaning a relationship of separation wherein I would ‘get something out of it’ for my own mind-benefit and this is how when stopping that benefit – no different to stopping any other relationship with an individual – it is like the ‘shortage’ of experience makes me believe that it is ‘its fault’ or that I should now avoid and have to do nothing with the source of ‘temptation’ so to speak, without realizing that this is how we create our dramas as humans beings with these love-hate experiences based on how we would believe ourselves to ‘benefit’ from something, without understanding the actual relationship of separation formed in the first place.

So this is how through equalizing myself to myself, my ability to do/create/direct and make things is my own decision, my own ability and there’s nothing ‘more’ to it other than what it is as any other point that I create, arrange or direct as they are all also creative processes as well – no more and no less.

 

 

Trees are black

Suggest watching the following Desteni I Process Google Hangouts:

 

To learn more about the mind and how you can use your creative skills constructively to support yourself and others, visit:


370. Desteni Insider: God, Spirituality, the Afterlife

 

Coming to the realization that who we are in this world is not working to create a better world made me seek answers to try and make sense/justify the suffering, poverty, wars, corruption, a lack of consideration to one another that I used as an excuse to remain only within a persistent process of questioning reality beyond what one is taught in school. I grew up being influenced by the ideas of there being ‘Life after Death’ and the dead coming through channelers or mediums to tell their ‘loved ones’ how they were alright and how everything was going to be ‘just fine’ for them. But also there were messages coming from a form of ‘brotherhood’ from which myself and my family would be getting all sorts of apparent protections and blessings in order to ‘do well’ in our lives. I kept questioning who exactly these individuals were and why in spite of them seeing the people that were seeking for help – being mostly desperately seeking money – was there no divine intervention to support them and end the suffering, end world hunger or even better: establish Heaven on Earth. All that was shared between these spiritual people were nice messages that gave hope and reinforced any kind of faith that would keep everyone waiting and expecting things turning out to their favor as a sign that this ‘god’ or ‘spiritual beings’ actually existed and were in fact on our side,  taking care of ourselves and solving whichever mundane troubled situation we were stuck in. Yet all of this seemed too staged, too dogmatic since it wasn’t something one could openly discuss due to the entire atmosphere of secrecy and reverence that existed whenever these beings would speak through the channelers/mediums that could only speak for a short period of time.

 

I was then familiar with the existence of a heaven or a spiritual realm beyond the Earth plane where the dead would go, yet we never got any answers as to why the world was in the verge of destruction and why us human beings kept existing in these ‘lessons to be learned’ somehow always yearning for a better living condition (translated to having money to live well and in peace) – these and many other questions were not allowed, it seemed that all that really mattered were our personal queries of any form of personal relationship gone wrong, or money problem which, if resolved, would only confirm our trust on these individuals within the belief that somehow we were being ‘chosen ones’ or ‘special’ for having this kind of contacts. It seemed unfair to me since I knew that everyone in the world could benefit the same way we were – apparently – yet others didn’t seem to agree since I had to keep it a secret throughout my entire life.

 

When watching Sunette Spies as a portal in the Desteni videos that were being broadcasted on YouTube since 2007, the in breath and out breath wasn’t anything unusual or weird to me, I instead thought I knew what was going on: I immediately assumed and believed she was a channeler/ a medium like any of the other beings I had witnessed throughout my life – yet there were significant changes that made me ponder ‘what kind of brotherhood/beings were these’ because the message somehow was quite straight, direct, there were no staged words or fancy presentations charged with the usual key words that the other beings I had witnessed before would express themselves with.  I started questioning more and comparing the Desteni Message to what I had heard before from what I believed were the same kind of beings: how come these beings speaking through Sunette were speaking as any regular person? How come they would be speaking about there being No God and reptilian beings having created the human being? Why were they not just leaving with some message of hope and ‘goodness’ rectifying that god is with us? Instead the reptilian point was opened which wasn’t any longer a mystery to me since I had also done a brief investigation on the subject prior to Desteni. Everything I thought I knew about channelers/mediums was debunked when I got to watch the video and read the articles related to channeling (Kryon – Pre-programmed Channels, Questions and Perspectives: Unconscious Mind Pre-programmed Channels, Questions and Perspectives: Continued pre-programmed Channels , Questions and Perspectives: Oneness and Equality with regards to ‘Channelings’ , Questions and Perspectives: How was psychics and channels controlled and why? , 2007 History of Mankind – Part 16 – Anu’s Plan – YouTube) explaining why it was also part of the program and why all forms of ‘light beings’ were part of the deception on Earth to keep individuals trapped in the belief that somehow, there was a benevolent god, that love was the way and that we only had to continue aspiring to have some manifestation of the divine through thinking positive or asking things to the universe. All of this was the real scam and later on understood as the cult of money that it has become nowadays (Read: Day 450: The Power of Now Illuminated)

 

So continuing with the previous post 369. Desteni: An Insider’s Report what I came to realize is that everything was in fact a preprogrammed and predesigned reality construct that we have been living in wherein even the higher beings, the gods, the ‘supreme energies’ that I had placed any form of belief upon were in fact also part of the reality design that we have all been participating in within our minds and in absolute separation of the reality that was certainly existing in complete dissonance to all the benevolent words we would get within the New Age culture – all of this was perfectly schemed as part of the diversion to never get to question ‘God’s creation’ and the beliefs we have acquired through familial and cultural tradition, all being part of the necessary programs that we have within and existing as Mind Consciousness Systems. This is when the point of enslavement was understood. I grasped how perfect the plan had been wherein everything in this world was in reverse and every single aspect of who we have believed ourselves to be as human beings in terms of the spiritual endeavors, seeking gods, bonding ourselves within religions, seeking eternal life, seeking the philosopher’s stone had been nothing else but a nice game that we blindly followed, never ever questioning why is it that we only sought our personal enlightenment, happiness and comfort? Why were we just expecting some god to do the work for us, or have these ‘special connections with a higher force’ while the rest of the world was submerged in suffering and agony due to lacking the necessary means to live which is the same as: lacking sufficient money to live; furthermore, why were all of these people suffering absolutely unaware that there were apparently some spiritual beings that could grant them healings and protect them from ‘all evils’ – apparently. This all made sense to understand how the vilest form of enslavement had to have a very agreeable and sugar coated image in order to be unquestioned and undoubtedly accepted as ‘truth,’ how our constant need to ‘seek god’ was just fearing to realize we are here alone and responsible for every single aspect that has gone wrong in this world, how the enslavement of humanity had been part of a ‘greater process’ by a few individuals that wanted to ‘be Gods’ in existence – it was all revealed to be a sick cosmic joke that we have all been a part of, life after life.

 

As I went through the material, I committed myself to remain skeptical about that which sounded the most fantasy like to me, simply because I could not witness myself the ‘other side’ or ‘the afterlife’/heaven  yet, once again the consistency of the message from the hundreds of beings from all walks in existence speaking through the portal lead me to realize that the final message was quite clear, consistent and made absolute sense as to why this portal had opened and why we they were calling out humanity to walk a process of Self-Honesty. I understood then how all the New Age agenda, the spirituality movement, the promoted ways for ‘peace of mind’ through meditation and seeking to align your chakras to be in resonance with god had been nothing else but a self-interest brainwashing that I had briefly participated in within an attempt to make my life less ‘miserable’ or as I experienced it to be miserable in my existential woes and ever present form of depression. After understanding religion, love, spirituality, channelings as a pillar and essential part to this enslavement of ourselves in our minds, I was ready to leave that all behind and instead begin walking a very different path that I never ever thought I would place myself in: letting go of the idea of god, of spirituality, of something or someone greater than me in order to get to know me as a creator in this reality.

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What I came to realize was that we were truly all alone as human beings, we are the direct creators of the reality that I was wanting to escape from or completely eradicate or disguise with some ulterior beliefs about a genuine spiritual realm that we could somehow rely to in order to be supported or saved in worst case scenarios by invisible beings or forced of the ‘goodness’ that I thought existed beyond the Earth plane, little did I know it was exactly the opposite that this reality existed as.

These realizations led me to understand how I had veered my life to seek answers and make someone else responsible for the mess on Earth due to the fear that I had about who we are and what we have become as the real perpetrators of our crime scene: the world-system imposed on the Earth. This was what partly caused the emotional breakdown that I had to go through in order to be willing to see beyond what I had initially sought to find at Desteni which was just ‘more of the same confirmations about the goodness in existence’ I was wrong. For the first time I had a crystal clear understanding that if we don’t stop deluding ourselves in spirituality, religions, gods, masters, etc. we will continue to abuse and eventually destroy ourselves if we don’t stop.

I went from being a profuse reader of religions, philosophies and watching all kinds of conspiracy theories videos to a more down to earth verifiable investigation of the state of the world; while being subscribed to the DesteniProductions YouTube Channel (2007-2011) we would regularly get all kinds of documentaries and videos that would expose the reality of this world: poverty, crimes against life, corruption in the political world, the destruction of nature, the abuse of the animal kingdom, the conspiracy theory that our economy and monetary systems are, the madness of the human mind, including spiritual messages that were now clearly understood as a genuine scam to divert the human’s attention from the real problems we had provoked in this world. I was taken aback due to the realization that I had mostly avoided watching the full graphic reality that takes place every single day in this world – It made me angry and sad at the same time, going into a depression upon realizing to what extent we have all been too focused on our personal endeavors to get all kinds of gifts from the universe, attract all the money, health and all the ‘good stuff’’ in our lives, aiming at living a happy fulfilled life without ever really wanting to understand how such nice life was in fact being manufactured/produced/created by every individual that is existing in a slave position that earns the daily bread through creating our personal heavens, the real and actual forced labor that exists in this world happens when having no money means: you die.

The sensitivity that I claimed to have toward the world, the usual depression that I would allow myself to be in whenever I would go out in the streets and witnessed the misery, the ‘soft violence’ and constant fear that we all existed in became slowly but surely debunked as the mechanism to protect myself from actually understanding my responsibility within the creation of the problem in this world. I came to understand that my sadness, my depression, my ‘wanting to end it all’ was another form of manipulation to not take responsibility for myself and this world –the constant belittling believing myself to be ‘too little’ to make a change in this world was exposed as a personality trait that had lead me to stand in the background, to choose seeking to create images and pictures that ‘made me feel good’ in an attempt to seek something of ‘real value,’ something ‘greater’ and meaningful to do the work for me, to protect me, to give me some comfort and happiness while pretending that I could ignore the harsh and crude reality that exists for every individual that somehow we have all collectively decided do not deserve to have a dignified living, and yes I realized I am part of the clan as a human being that have accepted and allowed this without a question throughout ages. I understood my self interest to only have a ‘good time’ in this life and be ‘against the system’ while seeking some higher connection with the spiritual realm that I believed was ‘what was real’ – I was wrong, I was absolutely blind.

 

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What became clear was that such ‘nasty thing’ that I had avoided to talk about and pretended to ignore was suddenly understood as the ‘real god’ of this reality: money and this was the simple message that I could clearly reference within my world due to having been keen on politics and sociology before my ‘spirituality’ phase that I had resorted to due to having been too disillusioned of the political and economic world that going to the opposite side was just another shot at ‘making it’ in this life. I had to go back to reviewing the facts of this reality, the same one that is here the moment we go out from the comfort of our homes and the money we have in our wallets – I realized it wasn’t ‘god’ giving me this life, it was money and so my spirituality trip came to an end within the realization that everything I had participated in was a feel-good story for me-myself and I in the mind and that it had made no difference whatsoever to the genuine struggle that the world is sinking in and is continuing to sink in, in spite of this also having been foretold by the various beings through the Desteni portal in 2007 . Five years later and humanity is still opting to hear the feel good fluff rather than walking through a process of self-investigation to see ‘who am I’ within this world, what is my responsibility within this and  how can I practically contribute to stop the madness in here in order to establish the constant and consistent message that Desteni presents and represents: Life in Equality.

 

I started shedding away the beliefs I had held till then since I understood it was only a mindjob in order to justify the worst crimes in our reality, including the monetary system as a belief system, the idea of self as a self-religion and the seeking of my personal desires as a self-interest life path that was contributing to the enslavement of the many and the ignorance that exudes from every corner of this world wherein we are so used to buying and consuming happiness and avoid anything that makes us re-consider who we are, what we’ve done and become and what we are here for.

 

Slowly but surely I made the decision to become an advocate of the rather ‘harsh’ side of reality in an attempt to provide sufficient evidence and personal realizations for all spiritual and religious devotees to hear about such as there being no god, we’re It and there’s nothing and no one coming to save us: we have to do it ourselves.

 

Once stripped from this individual aspect of spirituality that had lead me to voraciously read the articles on the desteni.org website and watch the videos available, I came to the conclusion that I had to obviously do something about this. It was impossible to now turn my back and pretend I didn’t just hear that, it would have been impossible for me to lie to myself any longer – so I directed myself to what was explained to be the practical process that each one of us could live by and apply: the process of Self Honesty through Writing ourselves to Freedom, Writing and Applying Self Forgiveness, Developing Common Sense and Dedicating ourselves to get to know who we are, how we came to be to begin stopping existing as a preprogrammed organic robot that gets to experience highs and lows in various personalities for all the various ‘life scenarios’ and occasions. That’s when I determined myself to be part of this process, because all of the enigmas about god, the afterlife, the creation of humanity were explained in such detail and with such consistency that the key to create and establish solutions on Earth existed in fact within our individual participation in this process – so, if this was the solution I made the decision to do it, I had to finally try these tools that they were constantly explaining and directing everyone to apply. This meant that I had to actually do the whole Process, I had to test the waters and see whether this was ‘for real’ or not – and so I committed myself to this, wanting to be ‘part of it all’ yet not really yet grasping the actual importance of this process on Earth and the changes that were to come within my world, this certainly was No longer an illusion.

SAYING THAT ‘THE WORLD IS AN ILLUSION’ IS AN ATTEMPT TO SOLVE THE PRIMORDIAL PROBLEM ON ‘WHAT IS REAL/ WHAT IS REALITY’ AND FOLLOW THE LAWS OF THE LEAST EFFORT AND ‘SEEKING/ FOLLOWING YOUR GREATEST EXCITEMENT’ TO NOT HAVE TO FACE AND CARE ABOUT THE WORLD/ REALITY WITHOUT SEEING THAT THIS WORLD/ REALITY IS AS REAL AS WE HAVE TO EAT, SHIT, DRINK AND RELATE TO OTHERS TO CONTINUE EXISTING IN IT. HOW COME THAT WE AS HUMANITY DARED OURSELVES TO SIDE-VIEW THE MOST BASIC COMMON SENSE IN THE NAME OF JOY, HAPPINESS, FAITH AND HOPE? EASY, IT’S NICE TO REJOICE IN THE MIND AND NEGLECT OUR RESPONSIBILITY WITHIN IT ALL.

This will continue…

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The blog that explains it all : Heaven’s Journey To Life

 

Related blogs/ vlogs debunking spirituality – 

A selection of my investigation through the Desteni Process

2012 Life After Death–Interdimensional Portal | Testimony

The Video Tolle Doesn’t Want YOU to See

How to Raise Your Frequency (Ask Teal Episode on Increasing Your Vibrations

Spirituality and Capitalism Make sweet love through Hicks

2011 Pretty Happiness Machines – Vlog the Hell Out of this World

2011 AbrahamHicks – You Are Perfect As You Are – Video

2012 Spirituality and Activism Won’t Change the World – YouTube

Eckhart Tolle – Nirvana Is Already Here –

The Biggest Missing Piece – Abraham Hicks –

Fears and white light beliefs

Don’t try to get rid of the ego!” – Alan Watts’ review

The Jesus Message is Not Religious –

2010 ¿Spiritual Consciousness? Where’s the MATTER? –

2012 Positive Thinking Debunked! Heaven’s Journey To Life

2012 I Used to Be a Loving Person –

2012 Religious Consumerism: God is in the TV

2011 Vatican Exposed & the Faithful Deceived –

2010 EQUALITY: The END of All Religions

2012 Doomsday Character: Sick of Humanity?

2012 Existential Woes: Stop and Know Yourself

2012 Organic Self-Indulgent Lifestyle –

11.11.11 Opening Of The Portal Of The Divine

2012 Walking with Desteni: Why I could Hear the Desteni Message – Part 1 –

2012 Walking with Desteni: Why I could Hear the Desteni Message – Part 2

The Secret History of the Universe: The Discovery of Light –

2010 Do You Want to Be ETERNAL? –

Bruce Lipton ‘ The Power Of Consciousness’ –

2008 I used to believe in a god

Law of Attraction is Based on Memory

Why isn’t Love an Illegal drug?

2012 Love is a Drug: Are YOU an Addict?

Life After God

135. ‘The Secret’ CULTivates Narcissists |

future and white light crap |

Day 11: I.O.U. Life as a Debt System of Power

Occupy LOVE: New Activist Brainwashing

2012 R.I.P. God |

2011 Desteni Portal: Objectives

Desteni y las Teorías de Conspiración

How I was able to Hear Desteni?

In Heaven Everything is Fine

 


360. Humanitarianism and Equal Money

 

If any humanitarian organization and endeavor had any real effect in this world, we would have seen an actual improvement in the quality of lives of all individuals, it is not so.  Humanitarianism as a private funded aid should not exist when it is people’s human rights that must be conceded and made effective by virtue of recognized Constitutional Equality – we have to stop playing the game of ‘good doers’ when this is about Equal Social Responsibility: we have the Solution to the problems we have all accepted and allowed to exist here.

 

Continuing with:

 

Problem                                                             

“In its most general form, humanitarianism is an ethic of kindness, benevolence and sympathy extended universally and impartially to all human beings. Humanitarianism has been an evolving concept historically but universality is a common element in its evolution. No distinction is to be made in the face of suffering or abuse on grounds of gender, sexual orientation, tribe, caste, age, religion, or nationality”

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humanitarianism

 

  • Placing the needs of the human at the center as a point of focus or attention to provoke awareness, realization on the state and conditions other individuals are living in around the world is a first step to understand the problems required to attend by all of us in this world by virtue of being part of it. Humanitarianism implies exercising a form of empathy toward those that we get to know through books, articles, documentaries, ‘field trips’ or any other accounting of facts that demonstrate the ways in which fellow living beings are experiencing some form of suffering beyond our immediate locality, family, friends or colleagues. It broadens the picture that we are usually subsumed in by becoming aware of the severe problems endured by ourselves as human beings such as ‘modern day slavery,’ wars, poverty and famine, religious indoctrination, child abuse in all its facets, dictatorships, forced labor, etc. However we seldom realize that these problems are existent due to how our current monetary system functions and that their suffering is in fact the consequence of all of us complying to function and exist in a polarized economic system where, by a struck of luck, some get to be in non-suffering positions and others have to ‘pay the price’ for the wealthy lifestyles endowed by some form of ‘divine luck’ to a few.

 

  • In the same way, Humanitarianism is usually conducted by people that have more than enough resources to propose means and ways to support those in need – why is it that only private organizations are focusing on alleviating the suffering of those that would have to be cared for by the system itself? Simple, the system was not design to take care after everyone equally. This is how unfortunately Humanitarian Aid has become part of the means and ways in which money is once again conducted by elites that end up making profit by providing non-sustainable aid to alleviate the extreme need of those that not only live in poverty for a few weeks, but are subjugated to a system of lack from birth to death. It is thus clear that any form of Humanitarian aid is unsustainable and ultimately, a way to earn money by those that conduct such philanthropic tasks which are, once again, elite members that sell the idea of support to gather the most money, make a round business to buy from themselves the food needed, making profit from the delivery of such ‘humanitarian aid.’ This is why poverty has not been made part of history already, because poverty has become a way to make business and keep people thinking that it is impossible to eradicate it, which is a lie.

 

  • Feelings are stirred in order to consider becoming more supportive to our fellow neighbor, which should be already an alarm call as to how we have been educated to only care for ourselves and our ‘loved ones’ but don’t yet see, realize and understand that we belong to a whole as the entire Earth and all of humanity that should be equally regarded as our loved ones in order to realize that as long as one individual suffer, we will all suffer. ‘Feeling good’ by giving some form of economic aid, doing ‘humanitarian work’ like wanting to relieve others’ suffering becomes an unsustainable task just because it shouldn’t be work of a few to ensure everyone’s well being, it should be part of the function of the system to ensure all resources, all tools, all education and support is given and made available to everyone to cooperate to the world system’s sustainability- however the opposite occurs: we allow the control of all the resources, we allow the privatization of our basic means to live, we have accepted and allowed education that only serves to cater labor-force for a corrupted system and that is how we end up manufacturing our own consent to abuse, poverty, war, famine and ultimately a dictatorial money system that decides whether we live or die.

 

  • Spiritual leaders speak about The End of Suffering by focusing on positive thinking, praying, hoping, being ‘at peace’ within oneself and essentially doing nothing of actual physical work to change the way the system works – instead people are being conducted to a massive form of complacency and literal crossing of arms and legs in the hopes that our leaders, our governments will do something to ‘stop the pain’ in those that we claim to love. We turn to love, we Feel for the children dying each day, yet most believe that by integrating ‘good intentions for all those that suffer’ in prayers it will make a substantial difference, which it doesn’t at all. Compassion has become a bastardized word to feel ‘bad’ and ‘sad’ about those that suffer to no avail

 

In Heaven, Everything is Fine–We become aware of the problem, We have to Fund the Solution

 

  • Arts, Literature, Activism and Journalism have played a role to bring us closer to witness the suffering of other individuals due to the multiple problems that are mostly stemming from existing in a system where life is not being equally supported – however as it is said ‘Feelings trump reason and reality’ and as we watch videos like  the ones below edited/created by myself where one can realize the extent of suffering we are absolutely unaware of while living in our perfect lives, having enough money to ensure we have a secure and dignified place to live in peace. However, once the video, the piece of art, the painting, the novels that have attempted to bring us closer to the problem are watched, read and consumed, the lack of factual solutions leave these attempts to create ‘awareness’  in a stack of ‘Humanitarian’ and ‘Human Rights’ supportive material – without conductive solutions, and often leading to counterproductive experiences, such as seeing the problem ‘too big to solve’ without realizing that we have all the means, the power and the will to create the necessary solutions to the following:

 

Creating the Future for the Children of the World with Equal Money

 

All footage from the documentary by Christian Frei about the photographer James Nachtwey (2001) Events and locations depicted in the film: Post-war Kosovo Poverty and riots in Jakarta, Indonesia Ramallah, the West Bank A sulfur mine at Ijen in East Java, Indonesia Thokoza, South Africa New York City, New York, United States Music: Godspeed You! Black Emperor – ‘Sleep’ from the album Lift Your Skinny Fists Like Antennas to Heaven (2000) Video Editing: MarlenVargas Del Razo

 

 

Solution                                                              

  • Human–Unitarianism: Recognizing each other as One and Equal is the way to conceive humanitarianism not as an act of condolence, empathy and compassion but as a factual physical common sensical understanding that we are all living beings coexisting in this same world, this same ecosystem where we all require food, water, shelter, energy, education in order to live in dignity – thus we have to give to each other what we want for ourselves – this goes with accordance with the following Basic Human Right Principle:

 

 
The Second Fundamental Human Right is that: Each Human Being is Made-up of Substances that is Given Freely by the Earth, so to speak – dust, water, clay, All the Chemicals and All the Parts that Forms the Eventual Physical Body. The Resources on Earth that are Available are also Freely Available. Therefore, All Resources on Earth, Fundamentally, as a Human Right – Belongs to Everyone. It is simply to be Managed in the Best Way to Ensure that Everyone that is on Earth Actually Receives the Support to make it possible to have a Life that is Worthwhile with Dignity and Happiness, in Peace and Harmony. Having Resources Controlled for the Individual Benefit of a Few is Nothing less than a form of Dictatorship and it is Disregarding Basic Human Rights in Every Way Possible. – Bernard Poolman 
DAY 362: Human Rights and the Equal Life Foundation

 

 

  • Because the system we live in was not meant to cater for everyone’s needs Equally and ensure no suffering exists, we have to Become the System, to integrate and implement a new economic, social and political system based on Life in Equality that will ensure that there is no need for humanitarian aid/ charities or any other form of temporary help for those in need any more, because we will instead focus on creating and establishing the necessary constitutional reforms to ensure that Equality is recognized at a Constitutional and Global level by virtue of it being a Human Right and be supported with all the necessary means to live in a dignified manner.

 

  • The ‘We’ that encompasses the human race in this world will create the necessary reforms that must be conducted at a world system level through political means, and walk through the process of transition to an Equal World. This means that to change this world charities, feelings and a sense of empathy is only a temporary bridge to become sensitized about other people’s problems, but we cannot leave the solution to be implemented by a few in a temporary manner. The establishment of Human Rights at a Constitutional Level where all beings’ lives are dignified by virtue of existing in an Equal Money Regime will ensure a permanent and sustainable solution to the problems we are facing as humanity – we created them, so we are equally responsible to establish the solutions.

 

  • The Equal Life Foundation will conduct the promotion and establishment of Equal Rights around the Globe as one single organization that will integrate all current humanitarian groups, organizations and initiatives under one single premise: the implementation and recognition of life in Equality at a Constitutional level along with the Equal Money System economic reform to ensure that such Constitutional principles are implemented to All Individuals by virtue of being a Human Being

 

Rewards                                                              

  • Never again having to feel sorry and/or guilty for witnessing human beings suffer from afar, never again having to make of human suffering the subject of arts, films and our every day news. The shaping of our human nature will be in accordance to the physical and measurable certainty that we will all equally contribute to build and sustain in order to ensure no human being, no animal, plant or Earth Resource is being abused or put to suffer. This means that Not only humans will benefit from this, but also all Animals, Plants and the Earth’s resources as the totality of our home, which is the Earth.

 

 

  • By virtue of collaborating to coexist and cooperate in an Equality System, the real humanitarianism that will emerge is simply the realization and living understanding of treating each other as equals, giving to each other what we want for ourselves enables the actual relationships that make our lives functional which will not require a constant legal regulation or sentimental drive, but mere common sensical understanding of the necessary mutual support to coexist in harmony and peace once that we are all equally satisfied with that which we need to live well.  

 

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Place yourself in the shoes of another - EMS

 

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275. Child Addicts: Problem–Solution–Rewards

In the Equal Money Capitalism, we are presenting the current problems that are affecting our society, directing it toward a solution and looking at how we will all be benefited from having a world that stops running in self-abusive, harmful and destructive patterns.

In this blog, we are continuing from the presentation of the problem in the last post 274. Child Drug Addicts – here we are directing the problem toward a solution that invariably generates equal rewards. This means that the same pattern of rehabilitation and solution can be applied to any other country/ population that presents a similar problematic.

Watch the documentary Afghanistan’s Child Drug Addicts in order to become aware of how drug addictions does not only mean ‘wanting to escape’ reality out of fun and having enough money to sponsor your own escapist-habits.

 

  • Problem:

War in Afghanistan  has destroyed the city, many have been killed leaving families without parents to take care of children.

– Males use drugs in order to be able to work longer hours, which means not enough money is made and as such, bring the addictions home and spread even to 1 and a half year old babies.

– Children lose limbs because of the war and have no medicines to cope with the pain, villages are attacked wherein civilians become casualties of war. Parents have no other option but to give them opium to ease the pain, which leads them to become addicts from then on.

 

Psychological Damage: Teenagers suffer from depression because of loss of family members in bombings/ witnessing suicide bombers/ seeing dead people and having to recover from the traumatic experience which means, coping with suicidal tendencies.

– Families torn apart by the wars – hence children as young as 11 years old turn to drugs to cope with reality.

– Children turn to prostitution from the age of 8 years old in order to fund their own addictions – there’s no jobs/ no work.

– The Afghan powder/ heroin is the cheapest in the world here because of drug cartels now turning their poppy harvest into heroin, so it is ubiquitous. One gram is over 1 Pound.

 

– Poverty: High rates of unemployment make of drug addiction the common way of spending time and curbing the need for food.

– Adult population turn heroin addicts in order to cope with a reality where no support is given.

– Children are adopting the patterns of the parents within the consumption of heroin in order to mitigate hunger.

– No health provided, no doctors available, no support on how to deal with child addicts.

– Food is more expensive than opium.

– People would sell drugs to make a decent living, and with the eradication of their plantations, they have no other option but taking drugs due to lacking food.

– Not able to afford medicines, opium is the answer.

Family Crisis: Parents  give opium to their children in order to mitigate hunger

– Half of all opium users give it to their children of which the number is in the rise due to no solutions.

– Other children just become addicts due to the parents’ smoke

– Parents give their children drugs in order to cope with the pain and hunger.

– There’s not enough food to feed the whole family and when smoking opium, they lose the appetite.

Drug Addiction is seen as a dishonor in Islam : leads people to be afraid to ask for support.

– Only one center deals with child addiction in the entire country.

 

Consequences:

– A Generation of Drug addicts is created.

 

  • Solution:

– No more wars in order to obtain resources from other countries

– No more wars against ‘terrorism’ as wars are in itself terrorism

– Changing the harvesting of heroin for money into foods for human consumption. Drug consumption won’t be a necessity if everyone is given equal support.

– Proper living conditions that ensure all people have access to decent jobs such as reconstruction/ building of houses, schools and all the infrastructure that has been destroyed with the wars

– Education to parents in order to take care of their children with proper medical health supervision to not treat any form of ache with opium

– Educating the population about the long term addiction problems that ensue when giving their children opium/ heroin.

– Access to food,  water, sanitation services, education, nutritional and parenting counseling while developing crops to grow actual food and not drugs.

– Rehabilitation programs that are openly supported by the government: no more religious veto toward addictions which means, facing the problem as the national crisis it has become.

– Kids without parents given to proper adoptive ones that will ensure no abuse is committed onto them.

 

  • Rewards: 

– Peace, safety, tranquility for all inhabitants in the world with ceasing fire and all forms of warfare.

-Resources that were directed toward defense against the invasion can now be directed to support the population to get to live in dignified living conditions.

– Healthy living conditions/ environments wherein people can learn how to take care of their children while having access to proper food, water, sanitation, education and practical care considerations to ensure no more addictions are generated due to lack of money.

– Education availability based on self-care, proper nutritional habits and taking care of the environment as well as involving the parents to rebuild the city/ houses given the necessary means to do so.

– An actual historical treasure that this country represents could be open for visits without having tourists fearing to be another causality of war or kidnapped.

– No more child prostitution or drug addiction, no more depression or suicidal bombers – the living conditions given in equality generate a sense of well being within all individuals, ensuring real happiness as an actual possibility that will never again  be silenced by the sound of a bomb.

– Ensuring a generation of human beings that learn the consequences of war and poverty as they are supported to gain stability through communal support toward the reconstruction and rehabilitation of themselves and their environment.

 

Read all about the Equal Money Capitalism here in the Economist’s Journey to Life and the Equal Money System website

Equal Money Capitalism

 

 

 

 

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274. Child Drug Addicts

Watch the documentary Afghanistan’s Child Drug Addicts in order to become aware of how drug addictions does not only mean ‘wanting to escape’ reality out of fun and having enough money to sponsor your own escapist-habits. This time it is not that people are bored to live in a world where everything is taken care of – like in Australia where people are shooting up Ice, a new trendy drug with the money that the welfare provides them. Nor is it a drug-situation due to being sunk in depression in a world where consumption and massive forms of entertainment often lead to seeking for a ‘greater experience.’ This time it is about war and the consequences that people in Afghanistan are enduring. 

Some two years ago I became aware of the massive heroin problems in Afghanistan, but I had certainly not realized to what extent this problem was now being extended on to children. The documentary shows how children as young as 5 years old are already in ‘rehab centers’ for children, and this is just to give a name where several children are taken in order to unhook themselves from smoking opium. It is heartbreaking to see children that should be happily playing and running around just waiting for their next hit out of three times that most smoke opium during the day.

 

Some of them also explain how they became addicts after their families were killed in bombings conducted by the Americans, many of them lose their limbs and are left to ‘live’ a life of mitigating the pain and suffering with drugs. Some others get hooked on drugs and pay for them with sexual services, which means that the addiction drives them to become child prostitutes in order to fund their addiction. Why? Because they are kids, there are no jobs and they are left without families and parents that are either sent to wars, are killed in attacks or simply have no money/ support at all. When the reporter asks them why they don’t rather spend their money on food, they explain how buying drugs is cheaper, where food would cost over 3 pounds and opium costs around 2 – they have no other food than some tea and some stale old bread to feed 9 people – yes, reading again: 9 people.

 

Drug addiction is condemned by the Islam and as such, families that are all hooked on heroin refrain from asking for help because of the major consequences that would mean if people find out they are taking drugs.  ‘Underneath the bridge’ is no longer just a sappy song from a 90’s band from someone that went through a broken home in the ever-glooming America, it becomes now the definitions of the several places around Kabul where people – mostly males – gather to shoot up heroin, because it is cheaper than having to buy food.

 

Younger people experience depressions after having to witness the horrors of wars and I mean, we can look at the type of idiosyncrasy that we support in this world wherein we go to the movies to witness such violence from afar, while others are just put through such horrors in real time, being affected for their entire lives because losing your parents in such attacks definitely means that as a 11 year old you are bound to have no support in a world system and government that is currently busy funding and fighting wars than any form of solution to take care of the people that are becoming addicts as a direct consequence of the availability/cheap price, the hopeless environment and the ubiquitous addicts that certainly have no future other than continuing numbing their hunger pains and gathering to go by through another day.

Is this life? I had written about ‘living to get high’ but this is essentially the opposite: getting high to ‘go by’ through life, because there is barely any indicative of care and support for these people, this is a real crisis that we are happily unaware of when using drugs to have ‘more fun/ a greater dopamine experience’ while people in real harsh conditions are using drugs to numb the pain and suffering.

All of these men could be healthy and working to create a world in which I am sure they would be more than willing to cooperate building – what are the chances for you to have a will to live in an environment where everyone is doing drugs to numb the lack of food and support to live in healthy and harmonious conditions – to witness these people through the comfort of our own houses already makes us responsible enough to realize that we are the only ones that can create a change for THEM, because they are powerless, hopeless and helpless and so are their children that have no opportunities to have healthy living environments, education and actual joy to live, there is nothing like that. Seeing bodies scattered everywhere, putting your own family members on plastic bags and wanting to kill yourself out of the horrors of war is certainly the type of damage that will take lots of will to live to stand up from and support. But not even the ‘greatest intentions’ will make a difference here, no amount of positive thinking will make a change – this is about changing the system in order to ensure that no single child resorts to child prostitution, child labor and drug dealing in order to support their own addictions.

 

This is all quite a sad situation indeed, but I share what Mykey shared in relation to finding out the actual truth of the reality “not to let the reality shock be possessed by the mind by victimizing yourself towards it and creating a personality about it, but to remain stable and directive in the decision to CHANGE this.”

 

As I write this, I realize that certainly creating an experience about this would only be self interest – we cannot wallow and use another’s experience as another excuse to not stand up, it is precisely the opposite which is realizing that their suffering is our suffering and as such, there cannot be a single living being experiencing ‘bliss’ while a single child starves to death or resorts to drugs to mitigate hunger pains.

 

From ‘Wikitravel’ on Kabul:

WARNING: Travelling in Afghanistan is extremely dangerous and is strongly discouraged. The current Afghan government has little control over large parts of the country; in particular, most of the South and East including Kabul is effectively a war zone. Threats are unpredictable and the situation remains volatile.

Trips should be meticulously planned and travellers should keep abreast of the latest security situation throughout their stay. If, despite the risks, you still find yourself heading there, see War zone safety and the “Stay safe” section below.

http://wikitravel.org/en/Kabul

 

These are the ‘warnings’ for us people with money, staying away from what is obviously a non-secure area to live in – but, what about the people that Have No Option to get away from there other than living in extreme poverty and not really knowing if a bomb will soon drop upon their houses, killing their family members and leaving them homeless.

 

Once again the solution for this situation is certainly to provide equal support to all living beings, to STOP ALL WARS as we can see that the results of ‘fighting war against terror’ is becoming a constant actual threat and crisis at all levels for the people that then resort to drugs to mitigate the pain and suffering and lack of food/proper living support and families that are often involved in being ‘casualties of war’ that no one is currently taking responsibility for.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever think or believe that drugs could only get you ‘high’ for fun and pleasure, without realizing that drugs are also being used to mitigate the pains and suffering that the lack of living support creates – and this means that I have been unaware of how drug addictions are formed in order to ‘go by’ through life and create a painless day to day living due to the horrors that they witness on a daily basis, which is the direct result of myself accepting and allowing this current world system that is not supporting all living beings to live and instead, is funding wars to go and kill and destroy people’s lives.

This is a humanitarian self forgiveness because we tend to live in our little bubbles of anxiety, depression and hopelessness while having daily meals to eat, an education and all the opportunities in the world to have a dignify living and we usually squander all of this because of a single self experience of ‘not being good enough/ not feeling ‘happy’ or experiencing any other inner-flaw, where we tend to forget what Real suffering and Real problems are in this world.

This is how when and as I see myself wanting to just ‘escape’ for a moment from this reality and create a personality out of it in terms of feeling hopeless, helpless – I stop and I breathe – and I realize that in my hands/ in our hands that have enough money and education to live is the key to present, promote and implement a new living system that will ensure that these atrocities are never again part of our reality.

I commit myself to live as the strength that is requires every single day in order to never forget what it is that I am living for, which is to support myself to become an example of what living life should be, and not allow myself to be ‘down’ by what I witness in this world but instead remain stable and self directive to ensure I contribute to change this situation into a best for all living environment.

 

Sure, this will take time but the more we wait the more we will continue witnessing these atrocities from a comfortable position. We are saying: there is no need to reach the bottom to realize there is something inherently wrong in this world, yet the point is clear: we will have to do this if we want to remain living in this world/ Earth. Who we are as the physical body Does Not require drugs to live, who we are as physical beings would not allow each other living organism to slowly but surely self-destruct – everything that is currently ‘wrong’ is the result of who we have become as the mind and for that, we require to understand how we are all inherently affected by all the matters in this world, no matter if you believe yourself to be ‘far away’ from it, so please research Desteni and how the monetary system operates according to made up beliefs that are not taking into consideration the real requirements of people on Earth.

 

In the Equal Money Capitalist system where will be no children taking drugs, no adults shooting up heroin underneath the bridge, no more humans crying for their families lost in wars. No more lack of food, proper living houses, water, sanitation services and will get all the medical support that currently doesn’t exist for them. No more children working, no more child prostitutes, no more children losing their childhood while waiting for the next hit.

 

 

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Addictions in the Equal Money System « Equal Money for ALL as LIFE

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260. Homeless Drug Addicts Sleeping in Graveyards

260 is the amount of days in the Mayan Calendar Tzolkin and it happens to be the 260th day in this Journey To Life on the last day of this Gregorian calendar year, and the sounding of Tzolkin is like sulking – hence the association of what you’ll read in this blog today. Here’s to 2012 and all the false promises and prophecies that burnt to ashes as they should, so that no more hope is left within humanity, within the ‘wait and see’ attitude, indulging in numbers, planets, calendars and prophecies that only managed to keep everyone immobile for a long time, expecting ‘something’ to happen, adjudicating our global deterioration to some major shift that was about to happen by some divine ordeal, and no that is not a paradox, but that’s what we’ve managed to be and become in this world: making sense of suffering as some time of lesson to be learned to ascend to the heavens and become real benevolent beings after trials and tribulations that we imposed on ourselves.

 

Continuing from:

220. Drug Culture: Mad Society as a Lifestyle

 

Well, we’ve certainly come a long way as humanity in our gullibility to anything that leads to the promised land – whether ascension, extraterrestrials saving the world, the world ending, people suddenly being enlightened with a new consciousness –  this pretty much sums up the ignorance we’ve subsumed ourselves in, may the next year be the actual time to open our eyes, because the astonishing panorama of the end-times is hitting every graveyard near you, and no, it’s not zombies or the dead finally coming alive, but rather homeless drug addicts making a very valid statement: cemeteries are a waste of terrain that could be used for proper housing to those that have clearly nowhere to live/ nowhere to take a shit, no proper activity to do – how come we can expect things to ‘get better’ in our world by simply wishing-well for a ‘happy new year’ if we are neglecting to cover the basic services to dignify the lives of all human beings? I mean, what separates you/me from being such homeless addicted person sleeping in a graveyard? Do we have an extra elite-gene that allows us to have all the ‘good things in the world’? Are they damned? Were we born from godly creatures? Certainly we are all gods and quite irresponsible ones I’d say, since all our creative forces had been directed to satisfy an abusive self interest that has lead us to believe in external forces that could ‘solve the problem’ in our world, instead of realizing that we won’t certainly get to any form of ‘change’ if we are not even aware of what our fellow living earthlings are going through in this reality, an actual torture and physical suffering that is happening all the time, we’ve just decided to entertain ourselves properly to not be aware of it.

Bleak Future? No, rather looking at the consequences we manifested – seeing it through the positive or negative eye is just a matter of perception to either feel deludedly hopeful about something/ someone solving the matters of this world or feeling all down and negative within a depressive mood that leads us to simply justify our apparent inability to take responsibility for what we’ve become. Frankly, I’m tired of being either of as it is only the same irresponsible coin dressed up in victimization or cheerfulness that hides an inherent fear to face the reality that we are manifesting here, every single day. Now that’s the real alarming situation.

 

Homeless SLEEPING inside graves at Cambridge cemetery after pushing stones off the top of tombs

 

Homeless drug users were seen pushing the stones off the top of tombs and using them as beds for the night.

Horrified passers-by spotted the disrespectful squatters sitting in the graves in Mill Road Cemetery, Cambridge, while injecting themselves and drinking.

The site has been plagued by drunkenness, littering, drug taking and reports of the homeless people defecating on the plots over recent months.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2255328/Homeless-drug-users-SLEEPING-inside-graves-pushing-stones-tombs.html#ixzz2GfopCaT4

 

Who would be more disrespectful: a person that is using a graveyard as a sleeping place due to being homeless a.k.a. an absolute ‘ghost’ and ostracized bastard son in society that is not being equally supported to have a dignified living, which would mean, having an actual Home to live in and develop an actual living-expression – OR people that buy pieces of land to bury organic matter in fancy 5-thousand-dollar caskets to preserve meat for the maggots to eventually eat, disregarding the fact that such massive amount of land could be used to build houses for those that have non?

 

Does anyone stop for a moment to ponder: hmm,  but why do they turn to drugs, why are they homeless? People get high with inhaling cement and paint as well as paint-thinner here in order to mitigate the pains that starvation brings. They can’t even afford to be drunksters. I actually had a chat with a hobo-drunk man in a day like today some 6 years ago. That’s probably the moment when I broke my own taboos toward ‘homeless people’ and never speaking to them – you know, that type of thing your mother tells you to do whenever one would see them sitting on the sidewalks begging for money. Last person I saw this way was in downtown Mexico City, we were all busy going around during the day of the dead, celebrating ‘death’ while allowing our people to starve, quite paradoxical as anything in our reality. He had his skin very tight on the ribs – I walked by and simply breathed – could I solve the man’s problem right there? No.  Is he the result of our accepted and allowed world-system that decides to ‘forget’ / neglect to support all people equally? Yes. That points out how our current ways of referring ourselves to ‘hobos’ and ‘drug addicts’ as the ‘scum of society’ is a blatant nice positive way of abdicating our responsibility toward them. Have we asked them HOW they got themselves to such position? What I’ve found is hobos were people as normal as you and I that decided to give up on themselves due to living in a world system that could not ‘afford’ to support them to continue having a proper living condition, and of course, having a hobo-life means you can get drunk all day and shoot up drugs because there’s ‘nothing left to live for.’ There are other conditions like kids living in the streets that are born in the streets and never get a change to get a better life, simply because: they’ve never known any better.

 

I bet you have been in the same situation, even if it is not drugs or being absolutely drunk all day, but you do have a ‘something to live for’ as a temporary high that you have regarded and cherished as that little piece of heaven to live for, which is usually a mind experience. Why have we reduced our lives to these temporary flicks? Well, if everything around us as the ways and methods in which ‘the system works’ are based on self abuse – meaning our relationship to ourselves as our physical body, the mind and what we do onto the Earth within this same mechanism – then it is obvious that no ‘exemplar citizens’ can stem from that. Only elitist people can rejoice in calling out ‘improper deeds’ such as being a ‘homeless drug addict that sleeps, shoots up drugs and shits in graveyards’ and missing out completely the fact that it is a Human Being that one is referring to, an equal and one to yourself/myself/ ourselves.

How hard is it to ‘compute’ that? Very, specially when being able to know more about these individuals and realizing that they are human beings just like you and me that simply had no support in one moment of their lives wherein they simply ‘lost it all’ – or never ever had anything in the first place – and with that, they lost themselves, went down the perceived ‘easy way’ such as getting high and drunk in an attempt to avoid facing the stark reality that this world becomes for someone when there is no money left to have a ‘wonderful beautiful life’ as any positive person or anyone with money – including myself- would claim to have.

 

When I was talking to that hobo, I realized that I was not seeing him as an equal of course, I was in my ‘doing good’ flickering moments of approaching that which I was supposed to stay away from and attempt to make of an actual confrontation of reality just another story to tell  – what did I learn? Nothing, the man was absolutely speaking like a broken record for an hour and then we parted ways, I continued with my life and all the dreams I had, seeking to be something ‘great’ and just keeping this memory as some ‘nice encounter,’ like a charity that one does to keep for a ‘future moment’ wherein I could look back at my life and say: yes! I once had a cool time talking to a hobo downtown and learned to appreciate everything that I  have and the opportunities life has given ME.

Wow, really, wow. This is how we all thing: thanking for the benefits we currently have while ignoring WHY we have simply decided to give ourselves this nice living condition and deliberately denying such equal right to everyone, in Equality – health, love, money – all new year’s wishes must be written in stone for the remainder of our existence to always give to each other the necessary means to live in dignity, no need t wish for that when we can practically agree to provide that for each other.

 

Back to the graveyard: preserving the corpses in fancy tombstones, for what? For another hundred years? I’ll present you what they end up looking like after some 300 years…

 

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Great trophies for our future children? I would seriously propose no cemeteries to ever be created and placed as part of the planning of a city, it’s a huge waste of terrain that could hold instead a natural reserve where people could build their own earthship houses – how’s that? Too much dreaming? I don’t think so, I mean the entire business of the dead/ dying is quite a useless expense due to the belief that you have to preserve your body for whatever reasons you Be-Lie-ve you must. I mean, would you preserve a fish in your fridge till the end of your lifetime? for what? will you eat it then? does it serve any purpose? My father bought three spaces in a cemetery some years ago, I told him it is a waste of money, I want to be buried in a potato sack underneath a tree, or at least nearby where I can give this body back to where it comes from: the dust of the Earth.

‘One resident said she was shocked when she saw a male sitting on a grave with his trousers down injecting himself in his thigh in full view of everyone.’

The shocking sightings come as latest figures show an increase of 23 per cent in those sleeping rough in the UK for 2010-11.

Gail Marchant-Paisley, a city councillor for the Petersfield area of Cambridge, said problems with anti-social behaviour in the cemetery were long-standing but seemed to be getting worse.”

Welcome to the year 2013 on Earth, where people are still homeless, helpless, hooked on drugs and still having moralists complaining about their eyes being sore of seeing such barbarism while holding a magnificent plastic card in their purse that holds the power to prevent them to end up being such man or woman with no trousers and shooting up drugs to cope with a reality that has decided to forget about Them being human beings well.

 

We haven’t, we just have to get together to propose a solution and actually stand for what’s best for all, because we all KNOW what’s best for all and as such, it’s time to use our brains to develop a system that will ensure no more corpses are stored in massive areas of land that can be used to give proper living areas to people, where no more people will ever suffer from having no ability to live in dignity, and where drugs will only exist as a remnant of a past where humans had to ‘cope with reality’ to avoid facing the neglect imposed toward one another – this must be the end of the past and it begins with each one of us, we must be the ones that ensure no human being is ever again homeless and without proper living care, because there is more than enough for everyone, we just have to decide to give it to each other in Equality: www.equalmoney.org

 

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R.I.P. 2012, a year of false prophecies and endless stories that only entertained ourselves – time to get our hands on the actual work to be done here.

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Day 38: Inconsiderate Blackmail

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in thoughts about me being ‘inconsiderate’ toward other people, wherein I allowed myself to have ‘second thoughts’ about my communication wherein I essentially compromised my ability to be directive, straightforward and frank in every single moment – and instead having accessed the past  familiar pattern of  ‘not wanting to be harsh’/ not wanting to sound rude  out of fearing hurting others’ feelings, and in that, compromising my ability to speak self-honestly about myself and my experience due to fear of speaking/ communicating in a way that is ‘unusual’ by people in my past.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to for a single moment doubt my words as the expression of myself in any given moment, wherein I accessed my mind to consider a person in relation to ‘who they have been in my past’ and in that, compromise my entire moment and opportunity to stand absolutely here, communicating in self honesty due to believing that I must still hold any ‘special regard’ to people in my past.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever feel like I had to commiserate to people that were simply showing themselves as ‘not having a good time’ wherein I would then ‘god down the hill’ to be the company that their misery required, and in this becoming one and equal to the pattern of victimization, powerlessness and general self-disregard as life that any point of self-abuse entails within our life-experiences – in this

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to compromise my direct and immediate ability to communicate and say things ‘as they are’ because of fearing sounding ‘too harsh’/ ‘too cold’/ ‘too bitchy’/ being too bossy toward another, and in that being second-thinking about ‘how will this person/ people read my words like?’ wherein there’s a fear of being perceived as a dictator that doesn’t give a shit about anyone’s feelings – but I fact, I see and realize that I should not really care about other’s ‘feelings’ as that is and has become the hypocrisy of life that we have diminished to condescending to each other’s ‘feelings’ and ‘emotions,’ compromising our entire living-moment to diminish ourselves to play-out an energetic pattern of being either happy/ sad, angry/ joyful and any other bipolar activity that we have become and diminished our living expression-to the moment that we start THINKING about feelings, accepting those feelings as ‘real’ and in that, abdicating our entire life-substance authority to the energetic-pattern authority of caring about feelings and emotions within ourselves and subsequently, within others as well.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself for a single moment while having to access the ‘who I was’ for another in the past and in that, compromise my ability to stand here as the physical stability that is able to express here in the moment without having to access memories as the old-patterns and programs that I had accepted and allowed myself to become.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to diminish my ability to express directly and frankly in the moment every time that I allow myself to access the energetic pattern of ‘condescending’ to another just so that I am not judged as being ‘inconsiderate’ based on feelings/ emotions , which in essence represents respecting and allowing the continuation of the very patterns of deception that we have fed/pat our backs with throughout our lifetimes, thinking that we had to consider another’s ‘feelings’ whenever we communicate in order to ‘not hurt them,’

 

In this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever having feared ‘hurting another’s feelings’ when in fact, I have no ability to hurt another through words but only project my own judgments onto others, which his how I work with myself, my own writings, self forgiveness and self corrective application to ensure that I establish myself as living words, words that are supportive for me to live by – words that represent at all times that which I want to live as and that I have pondered and considered first that they are beneficial and considering at all times: what’s best for all.

 

I realize that the best way for us to live as and by is to speak Self-Honestly which means, no longer being participating in emotional and feeling blackmail of mutual condescendence to recreate either positive or negative experiences, wherein if one does not participate in the game, is then fearing being called as ‘inconsiderate’ – when in fact, being considerate as in considering all life the most pertinent and sane thing to do is to stop all power games, all emotional / feeling blackmailing and communicate in the moment about practical points that are supportive, and that don’t re-create any form of past experience that was based on emotions/ feelings toward each other as the egos that would consume life in the name of personal glory and doom as a way to self-satisfaction.

 

I realize that it always takes two to tango and that every time that  perceive that I must ‘be careful about what I speak in fear of hurting another’s feelings’ I simply stop the thinking and breathe – and realize that who I am cannot be determined by ‘who I was’ in the past toward a character that became a pivotal point in my ego/ personality of self-victimization wherein power-games of diminishing and augmenting ourselves in the name of ‘creating an experience’ had become my way of relating to others in my world. I see that I cannot hurt another’s feelings unless they allow themselves to be identified as feelings  – and that I can only ‘hurt’ if I allow myself to voice words that are simply not considering what’s best for all in practical/ physical matters, wherein self-compromise can only exist if I dare to access the mind and the entire ego-network of memories to define ‘who I am’ in the moment – I instead breathe and allow myself to express, unconditionally, holding responsibility for every single word that I say, ensuring that it is not defined in any way according to ‘who’ I am communicating with, but establishing and asserting the realization of equality within communication, where no special regard, no antique preference is able to define my words in the moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard in the moment of communication the fact that no being can ever be benefitted from thinking, experiencing emotions or feelings, regardless of the perceived ‘happiness’ and ‘enjoyment’ that a moment can bring, I allow myself to see that such happiness and enjoyment cannot be propitiated or instilled and instigated in another as a desire, but must emerge as an actual realization of self allowing oneself to stand as the stability that each one can only give to themselves and that cannot be ‘given’ or ‘induced’ by another, as that would imply wanting to manipulate in order to get a point of satisfaction through giving pleasure/ creating a ‘good experience’ in another, which is and had been the starting point of wanting to seem affable and cordial at all times, due to the fear of sounding/ being too harsh and being inconsiderate.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to propitiate the same blackmailing situation as in becoming emotional at other’s words wherein I would then play the ‘hurt victim’ in order to not see and realize that I was in fact simply doing it to myself as a form to get people to treat me with ‘more care’ and give me ‘more attention,’ which implies that any form of whining and throwing tantrums has only been a way to project the misery that I had created within myself as my own accumulation of backchat, emotions and feelings as unbearable mind-created experiences, that I then  sought to release through using another person, an event/ situation as a crutch for me to download all this self-created pity and denigration in order to have more commiserating and ‘feeling sorry’ about myself, as a form of obtaining the necessary recognition – no matter what the initial point to obtain such recognition was about – and through that, make myself feel better forgetting people’s attention in a condescending and ‘caring’ way.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to consider that the only harm that exists is toward life the moment that I become an energetic mind-pattern interacting with others at the same energized pattern wherein all that is consumed is life breath by breath, disregarding moment by moment the opportunity to stand up and interact based on the physical reality/ circumstance that requires no emotional/ feeling interplay to take place.

 

When and as I see myself thinking ‘he/she will perceive me as harsh/ inconsiderate toward their situation’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that every time that I do this from the starting point of fearing ‘hurting another’s feelings’ I am already agreeing to participate in the power game of reducing life to an energetic interplay wherein I realize I simply have to now stop all condescendence as to ‘who I am talking to/ communicating with’ and walk as the constancy and consistency that I am establishing as myself in every moment of breath, wherein I make sure that I stop compromising life to be reduced to ephemeral ashes of emotions and feelings due to relationships formed as the very cause of such need and desire to be ‘experiencing’ ourselves as our ego/ personalities in order to be able to ‘interact’ with each other.

 

I see and realize that when communicating with people – I do not require to regard them in specific groupings according to ‘where they belong’ in and as the ‘story of my past,’ but instead realizing that I can equally communicate to a being that I just met, to a being that I’ve communicated with for some time and to a being that I had not talked in years, as time and memories do not define who I am in every moment that I am here, that I breathe, that I can read and speak as the expression of myself within a particular contest, which doesn’t require to be compromised in any way whatsoever.

 

I commit myself to expose how it is in these seemingly ‘usual interactions’ of accessing and allowing another’s tantrums and justifications for  experiencing any crisis, depression, emotion/ feeling that we become equal participants of such manipulation that is always in the name of self-interest, because life cannot be suited to commiserate, life cannot be ‘emotionally hurt’ and life cannot be made feel better as that would mean an overall reform of the system that is simply not even considered the moment that we ‘seek’ to make someone feel ‘better about themselves’ which is just creating a point of dependence toward a relationship wherein self-realization as the stopping of all forms of self-manipulation is not supported, but instead the same feelings and emotions that validate such individuals’ experiences in the name of ‘relationships.’

 

I commit myself to stop any second-guessing as to ‘how I must address another’ based on memories, as I see and realize that who I am is not memories, and who I am here as breath cannot be reduced to a pre-tense in order to keep an illusion of ‘who I am’ toward another as ‘up to date.’ I instead direct myself to ensure that my communication and the starting point of such communication is at all times the ability to support myself and others in equality, and in no way entail any form of seeking and looking for an experience within me to be revamped from the past.

 

I realize that the only way that we can all stop participating in the usual coming and going of verbal exchanges that seek to create/ feed or oppose another’s experience is through first not allowing ourselves to see such experience as real, but instead allowing us to stop, self forgive ourselves and walk the moment as self correction wherein I communicate me as the moment,without wanting to ‘maintain’ a energetic interaction going, but simply unconditionally share myself and walk any point of communication breath-by-breath.

This is to ensure that all forms of self-compromise are stopped the moment that they start brewing as second thinking, as ‘complication’ as ‘other’s consideration’ in order to stand clear here as myself, wherein I make sure I stand regardless of what anyone else could ‘perceive’ about my words, my stance and my decision to live and not allow anything else than who I am here in the moment that I breathe.

 

I commit myself to expose how much we drain each other when participating in emotional and feeling blackmail, seeking to create relationships not with each other as physical beings, but as mind systems that recharge, suck dry and refurbish each other’s experiences as the continuation of who ‘we are’ as egos of the mind, and explain how we are consuming our very beingness in any moment that we allow ourselves to be the ‘dancer in the tango’ wherein emotions are seen as real and participated along with in order to ‘make them more real.’

 

I stop all abuse toward life by ensuring that all words that come out of my mouth, all thoughts and deeds are fabricated with the consideration of being using my moment to moment to establish myself as life, and to provide me with enough self-support as oxygen that allows me to be HERE breathing, walking, talking, communicating with others without having to ‘socialize’ into lies of power games, submission, control, depression and any other midlife crisis that I see only exists as a self created experience by each being that allows oneself to go through such experiences as something that is ‘real’ when in fact, it’s all self created/ self-generated at a mind level.

 

Who we are as life is as constant and consistent as the breath that I breathe in, hence I allow myself to breath and speak from the starting point of supporting what’s best for all life at all times, as that will ensure that I become part of the self-honest participants required in this world to stop the old and pave the way fro the new way of living as humanity based on Equality and Oneness as Life.

 

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Life Review – The Internal Battle with Pleasing Others


2012 Media and Entertamement: the Mirror of our own Decay

I realize that I have been brainwashed in many ways, but I have certainly realized more points that I had not considered based on the latest Desteni material, like the Life Reviews – which are interviews where people that have died, come through the portal and share their realizations so that we – people still being alive on Earth -are able to realize what we are taking for a ‘living experience’ in this world. As they walk their own stories, they share perspectives on how to assist and support ourselves to stop and correct our patterns and habits that keep us in a certain ‘predefined’ life, which is currently existing as limitation and ultimately leading us to die without having granted us the ability to Forgive ourselves and change. It’s like walking a real-life story wherein for a moment you get to know a being’s inner experience throughout their life – just like you would ‘get to know’ a character in a book – yet always having a supportive perspective and input that will most likely not leave you ‘confused’ about it, but will leave a nice ‘taste in your mouth’ in order to realize that we don’t have to get to the extremes of limitation that they experienced while being alive.

 

So, within this context, I realized how even with famous people in this world – that we obviously get to know through media –  I took a certain stance toward particular people, where the media assembled ‘evidence’ to make a ‘case’ out of their story and cause  sensationalism around the lives of particular beings that I now realize, I actually judged within my mind without even noticing it, without allowing me to consider the common sense that I also experienced at times which was seeing and realizing that people were only judgmental about a grown man being able to enjoy children without being a pedophile or something like that. It is absolutely disgraceful how even our ‘media’ is able to put up a knife against the wall and cause such division in the name of ‘putting up a show’ and causing enough attention to sell their adverts/ commercial space in quite juicy rates.  And I participated in it, I watched the documentaries, the cases, I would experience ‘third party embarrassment’ whenever such cases would arise within the lives of the rich and famous. I became ‘part of it’ – I didn’t fully allow myself to listen to that common sense that I could see in a moment, but allowed myself to obfuscate it with the nicely and strategically placed “evidence” directed to make a case out of it. 

That’s how I discovered that even when we think we are ‘not participating’ in some of the usual trivial realities that we see on the media, even by accepting it ‘as it is’ I am already taking a stance toward it, instead of having realized how is it that we have allowed our day to day living be constantly influenced by this ‘public opinion’ which is certainly controlled and manipulated in order to divert people’s attention from what is actually relevant in this world – and using/ abusing people’s lives to broadcast them as part of the ‘freak show’ that we have allowed media to become. Because it is common sense: if we all had enough resolve to stop consuming it, it would invariably have to adapt to a new perspective on what actual supportive Media should be, which would simply not be profit-driven and based on promoting common sense, education and an actual sharing of relevant information that can benefit the equal-understanding of ourselves as individuals and as part of reality within this ecosystem as a whole.  At Desteni we are already producing the new culture of Life, promoting common sense and reviewing history to place it as an example of all the points that must be corrected in order to Stop the patterns of the past, which were mostly based on ‘survival of the fittest’ through encouraging the desire to obtain power, recognition and a halo of success in order to ‘feel whole’ within one’s life experience.

 

We have realized that’s NOT what living is or should be – yet at the moment, we walk the process in order to direct ourselves breath by breath as we go observing in our own reality how even the seemingly ‘unimportant’ points do have an effect on what we collectively accept and allow within this world, such as our current media and their current ‘power’ to form people’s opinion, with no common sense most of the times.

 

 

2. We tend to judge people in our minds in such an immediate way based on ‘what’s logical’ and ‘what makes sense,’ based on supposed evidence that can be easily manipulated in order to suit particular interests which – as we can see in our reality – have not been in the best interest of all, but creating enough ‘noise’ for the same sake of making money, creating a case where there is non. And what’s fascinating is how obviously, if this goes into trials and further federal interventions, it makes it ‘even more believable’ eventually losing perspective that such ‘cases’ were generated not ‘on TV’ but in our own mind as the starting point for the entire system that is HERE as our self-reflection. McLuhan was right with the externalization of the mind as our reality, spot on when realizing that this entire reality works and functions according to all the points of separation that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to exist as. I would see myself often judging and even reacting in an emotional experience when watching all the ‘junk’ that people watch on TV. However I missed the point: I was only judging what I also have accepted and allowed myself to become – big cold bucket of water when realizing this, as I had to then walk through a self-forgiving process when seeing how getting pissed off at people watching TV was only stemming from myself and my own experience of having mimicked what I saw and wanted myself to ‘be like,’ which could not have been possible without TV, magazines, books, music, etc.   So, within listening to this being in his life review, I realized how I had participated as well in such judgment and had given-into the ‘nicely presented’ evidence to build such case.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to judge the media and information of this world as ‘not having anything to do with me’ without realizing that in such statement, I was only considering me-myself-and-I as my own personal experience wherein I lived a life of only caring about myself, to feel ‘good’ and seek to be as far as possible from anything that seemed ‘vulgar’ for me to watch, discuss or communicate about with others.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge media and entertainment as ‘vulgar’ and sleazy within the context of seeing it as only being able to be ‘watched’ and ‘absorbed’ by people that ‘didn’t have anything better to do,’ without ever realizing that it was myself judging me for what I have also accepted and allowed myself to become within wanting to not be part of the ‘brainwashed society’ – without realizing that I was already brainwashing myself by believing myself to be ‘above it’ and within that, exist in a superiority mode that can only exist within my mind whenever I believe myself to be separated from everything and everyone in this reality – which I am not.

Therefore I realize that whenever I see myself judging the media and pointing fingers at people watching a particular type of entertainment shows, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I can only judge that which I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as in the first place, which begins with looking at my own mind wherein I created categories according to who and what I would like to experience in my reality – always having disregarded the totality of this world as myself.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that ‘I knew better’ than people, and that allowing themselves to be ‘brainwashed by media’ I was in fact taking the ‘right path’ to be non-brainwashed, without realizing that the media is already the product of our very own nature as the mind that seeks to get attention, to seek experiences to generate feelings and emotions and a continuous idea and belief of ‘being living’ through the mind only – which is how I see and realize the media is the portrayal of our mind with colors, pictures designed by ourselves to experience through images, pictures, colors, characters and stories that keep us diverted from being actually HERE and Living our own lives in physical reality.

Therefore I realize that as longa s I am existing as the mind that seeks energetic experiences as quick energetic fixes through feelings, participating in emotions or directing myself from the starting point of ‘wanting to experience’ I am existing as the creator of what the media is now existing as. For this world to change, I must stop and change myself – there is no way that we can stop this ongoing industry that we have made of ‘life’ in this world, other than stopping each one of us from participating in our own minds, to eventually live in a physical common sensical reality wherein we will be able to decide how we want to experience ourselves, what we can enjoy ourselves with based on Living-  not only experiencing vicariously through pictures and stories that we see through the media.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘judge the media’ as ‘the system’ that manipulates, controls and molds people’s opinion, without realizing that we can only be influenced and directed in such a way if we haven’t allowed ourselves to develop common sense and an actual practical living understanding of what living as equals implies in terms of using the media to support life and better our living conditions, such as being informed, educated and having the ability to communicate about points that pertain all equally.

 

I see and realize that as long as this world is based on profit, whatever we can get through the media will still be biased and side-viewed according to the interests at play, which we are not yet fully aware of which is how within developing common sense, we are able to stop easily following the ways that we have been taught to think, believe and perceive ourselves as, not only ‘the world’ but our very own life within the schemes that we have accepted and allowed, such as valuing ourselves according to how we look, where we live, how much money do we have, how educated we are and all of the various points that are currently determining an entire beings’ experience in this world, which is NOT based in Equality as what’s best for all – hence our living-commitment to become the culture of life that promotes self-support, equality and the realization that: we are able to in fact live in a best for all way if each one of us does their part.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to build opinions and judgments about the information that I take from the media based on how I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘trust’ and ‘believe’ in certain information if ‘enough evidence is existent’ – without realizing that I have been equally brainwashed to believe things based on presenting supposed “facts” and “evidence” wherein I then allow my perspectives be molded and shaped according to how the media presents it in front of my eyes to read/ watch.

I realized that any idea that I could have of myself being ‘above’ the media-brainwashing process, I was in fact deliberately being oblivious to my own participation within it, as what the media presents is the reflection of ourselves in all ways: our desires, dreams, judgments, discrimination, fascinations, yearnings, hopes, criticisms toward the world, beliefs, etc. It is our mirror and our own trap to keep us well occupied while neglecting the reality as we serve the money-god with the eternal motivational factors like seeking to experience ‘heaven’ with no regard to whomever had to suffer the consequences of such ‘acceptable desire.’

There can be no heaven on Earth unless it is equally available for all.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take part of the sides and factions that are created within presenting a ‘case’ and having people supporting one side or the other – which is only creating enough fuzz and buzz that has one single outcome: creating enough waves in order to make the most money out of people being watching/ reading from the media, which allows them to sell publicity for a lot of money.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create myself as a being that can ‘trust upon evidence’ without ever realizing that such evidence can obviously be manipulated in order to get a particular outcome – and within that, allowing me to take and create a particular side and make opinions/ judgments upon the subject of the news/ event in our world, without having allowed myself to give enough space to develop the common sense perspective and Self Honesty that we all have, yet suppressed when listening to our thoughts within our mind, instead of considering any other way based on an actual understanding of how reality works.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having believed myself to be able to ‘discern’ and be judicious, prudent, mature and clear sighted when watching the news and information through the media, without realizing that even while believing myself to be that, I was only generating further judgments within my mind about the separation and ‘ridiculousness’ of it all. I see and realize that whenever I see myself being ‘out of the game’ and taking a particular ‘side’ to it, I am in fact still playing the game – I realize that I am able to support myself through watching what is currently being broadcasted and information and discern it within the starting point and constant reference of ‘what is best for all. ‘

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to judge a man as being a potential pedophile just because of what I perceived was an ‘unusual enjoyment with kids,’ without realizing that I was then  also becoming that which I have judged about others and fearing others believing about myself as well when being around kids. I realize that I have also become part of the products that media has ‘profiled’ as a ‘critical beings’ yet within the bounds of the information that I receive, instead of having allowed myself to develop common sense to not only take a certain ‘side’ when watching the news, but always considering what is best for all and thinking out of the box wherein no sides are taken but rather seen from another angle and perspective that is usually not portrayed within the usual biased way of presenting information within the media, which is specifically portrayed in such a way to divide people and conquer through making loads of money out of it.

I realize that this is in no way judging the media itself, as I’ve explained it’s our direct reflection of how the starting point of what we do has become ‘profit’ in all ways, and how human integrity is surpassed when money is the point that’s the aim within ‘making a story’ instead of sharing stories within common sense that act as educative tools for ourselves as human beings walking similar lives to the lives of others or those that have gone before us.

That’s how the Desteni material is in fact the type of education  – and why not-  enjoyment that comes when being able to get ‘real life stories’ that don’t require any pictures for us to identify ourselves within it and get the opportunity to live the correction while we are still here on Earth.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a system wherein we have bound each other to not be able to trust anything or anyone, just because anything can be easily manipulated and  anyone can be easily corrupted for money, wherein we have accepted and allowed money to become the actual ‘main role’ within this reality wherein all living beings and all our relationships are relegated to a second plane, wherein they are tainted by and through the very point that money represents: your ability to live and die, your success or failure within this system.

I realize that there is no current support being promoted in this world due to the starting point of that which is ‘popular’ being made out of the greed for profit making that is still doable and feasible in this world. Hence I see that only through stopping myself from participating in the same cycles of motivation through and by energy, I can start living the equality-process as myself, wherein I stop my own energetic dependencies in a desire to ‘live’ – and instead focus and direct myself to walk within the consideration of the actual reforms and processes that are required in order to LIVE and not survive.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a capitalist in the very thoughts that I have projected onto reality according to the ‘evidence’ that I am presented with, which means that I am only seeing through the same eye of the mind that I have trained myself-as to invariable take one of the two sides that are existent within the presentation of a story – and even remaining ‘neutral’ is also a position that is mostly comfortable and safe, which is further evasion of reality while believing that such points ‘do not have anything to do with ourselves’ which is an egotistical-perspective wherein I am only considering ‘my experience’ instead of realizing that these are points that exist in this reality = therefore, they are also part of who and what I have become.

I realize that in order to ‘change the media’ that we are currently getting, it is a process of self-education first, developing common sense and having Self-Honesty as the key that we all walk individually, to realize how we have fooled ourselves and manipulated our very reality in order to suit a delusional system of power games and values that were imposed onto the physical reality that is HERE as one and equal.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having dared to partake in the general rejoice that we as human beings within society get when being sarcastic, judgmental and making a mockery out of ‘public figures,’ tending to forget that they are also beings that are as real as you and I and that only got to be in a certain position wherein they become part of the ‘eyes of the world’ without ever stopping myself to question why I am validating myself being ‘opinionated’ about anyone, really – regardless of knowing them or not knowing them.

 

We live in fear because we realize our ability to judge and live in eternal comparison and power games within wanting to ‘be the winner’ – which in this case is the belief that I could be ‘out of the loop’ of what I judged as ridiculous and vulgar such as what the media would portray, without realizing that in doing so I was in fact taking an arrogant position toward the reality that I am living in, that is here as myself and my creation, no mater how much I perceived myself to be ‘outside of it.’

 

 

3. Eventually we end up fearing being judged because of what we know within ourselves we are able and capable to do within our secret mind when judging someone and ‘get away with it,’ believing that there is no consequence to it. Well, the time is here to face our own reality based on how we believed that ‘thinking’ and ‘judging’ caused ‘no harm’ to anyone, and believing it to be ‘our personal affair’ or even ‘right’ to do so, wherein we develop a vicarious relationship toward the world within our secret mind wherein we are always ‘above it all’ apparently, being able to even get a kick out of confabulating stories and judgments upon others without ever daring to see that none of it is about ‘them’ and that such judgment can only be revealing what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become individually. It’s our own Mirror of Flesh.

 

The same point goes with judging people that apparently ‘had it all’ yet realizing that even with ‘all the money and fame of the world’ if their inner experience was not able to be sorted out by themselves, they would eventually live out in a self-deprecating way the same that a person living on the streets would. And even from a broader perspective, I realized that it doesn’t matter how much money a person may have, the single fact of having to live  in this world wherein there is an obvious inequality and abuse, makes such fame and fortune something that should be rather regarded as self-abuse other than praising it as the ‘grandiosity’ that we tend to veil such people with, accepting and allowing such fortune as ‘mere luck’ or even ‘hard work’ without taking into consideration that such luck and hard work is not even a possibility for someone that is born in a condition of extreme poverty by default.

 

Another point is how we also tend to apply judgments generally toward a particular sector of the people in this world – specifically in these cases ‘famous people’ as artists or politicians and anyone else ‘in the spotlight.’ I realize how all of such judgments were based on the information that I would get ‘about them’ based on how media manipulates it to suit their interests – which, once again – are profit-driven and even often politically driven in order to manipulate society in a particular direction for purposes that might not even be directly related to the person in the spotlight.

Now, if we apply the same point onto not only other people, but laws, the nature of institutions, how money system works, our social considerations, education, human relationships – we can start considering that we have in fact never been self-directive beings but only conditioned to live in a drone-mode that complies to consume and believe that fearing each other and having to defend yourself from others is ‘normal,’ that seeking for only the well being of ‘your loved ones’ is only ‘natural predisposition’ and that caring only about your own interests is part of being a ‘clever human being.’ Nice tags that we’ve used to disguise the absolute abuse, fear and greed that we have all participated in –in an open and blatant way or in a silent and reserved manner.

 

 

4. In terms of media manipulation, I watched a documentary two weeks ago wherein the production and presentation of the material is leading you to understand that people that dare to actually inform of the harsh reality within society, exposing the actual ‘arrangements’ that are built within the ‘power spheres’ in our society -such as politics, media, religion – they are immediately banned and shut down, making it virtually impossible to keep going unless they ‘find their own way’ within the system, having no support from the official “authorities” to expand their journalism.

However, as much as these people were committed to expose drug cartels and even had members of their staff killed as part of the vengefulness from the people that were exposed in their newspaper, it is also just another side of the coin within the game. I realized at the end of it that you go out of the movie believing that ‘what  they do is ‘right’ and that they are being victimized within this country’ as in being censored to the point of not having any paper to produce their weekly journal, which forces them to produce it outside of the country across the northern border in the U.S. Well, the reality is that even in exposing the worst cases of drug cartels and  killings and hostages that take place, it has not made a difference in this world, no matter how many of the newspaper staff had to die, it still has not made any difference, because it remains only as a point that merely reports/ exposes yet, doesn’t propose an actual point of support within understanding how the money system works and how everything that exist – as it exist-  is the direct result of our accepted and allowed structure as our world system based on profit-making, as the only way to survive.

 

 

5. I got a similar realization when watching Anna’s vlog on ‘Are single people more depressed? – Fear in the Media Exposed’ which is another proof of how all of these articles that are promoted to ‘test yourself’ are in fact leading you to instigate a question within you, that you will then be curious enough to see if what they are proposing as elements to identify yourself-with equate to a particular tag that could define in fact ‘who you are.’ And if you identify yourself with such judgments/ tags and self-beliefs, you are then invariably lead to accept the rest of the content as ‘the explanation of who you are,’ which in this case is making people believe that: if you are single, you are more prone to feeling depressed and lonely and in that, creating a direct ‘hint’ saying ‘Hello, you have a ‘problem’ and you require a solution’ wherein one would then ‘seek solutions’ to the perceived ‘emotional instability’ which leads to the usual answers given within our wondrous pharmaceutical reality wherein Prozac knocks at your door whenever the word ‘depression’ is placed in front of your eyes. Isn’t this the ultimate brainwashing to create unnecessary illnesses and mental ‘problems’ only to make a quick and perpetual buck out of it? It is – yet we accept it and allow it. That’s how a ‘medical voice’ can suggest taking Prozac for the sake of stopping feeling miserable while being lonely? Never realizing that the people that created such ‘tests’ got some money out of it, the people that sell you the drugs, get some money out of it and the people that will continue supplying with such drugs will love you for the rest of your life for the same reason. Who’s the one that bought into the game? You/ I / we did.

 

We have become so used to ‘linking the dots’ according to how we ‘learn through the media’ which is how we become – and accept our inherent propensity- as predictable systems that, if we believe ourselves to have some type of mental disorder or ‘unbalance,’ we will then ‘seek for help’ because we fear being sick and eventually dying – that’s how we are always seeking to be as ‘hell-thee’ as possible without actually understanding what physical support really is, which is once again not based on the multivitamins and additives that are put on your food and promoted as ‘health food.’ It’s about developing common sense to first see how we have bought into an industry of ‘life’ instead of even figuring out what LIVING actually is.

 

This is not from a judgmental point, because we realize that we have all been equally participating in this system of money-making lives and for that, we can place ourselves in the shoes of those with such fortunes and ‘power’ and we would probably have done the exact same thing. Hence this is to clarify that there are no energetic strings attached to this exposure, it is about placing out what I have seen and realized today as the accumulation of hearing these interviews by people that allow me to realize what a tyrant I was when becoming a walking sack of judgments toward the world that is myself.

 

6. there is one clear example that has changed my perspective toward myself and ‘how I see the world’ this year, which was the interview done by  Gadhafi of course which I have Vlogged about as well – I’ll leave the links below – wherein I realized that I had never questioned my own brainwashing about it, and  that I have judged indiscriminately people that I didn’t ever get to meet or actually talk to, yet accepted it because that’s what apparently ‘famous people’ are entitled to go through, being the bait for all our human scorn to be projected onto them, forgetting about the fact that: they are also human beings!

When you get to hear ‘from their own voice’ their actual inner experience in contrast to what was presented in the media  – which is ‘how’ we ‘get to know them,’ it is inevitable to not react in  embarrassment and even regret for having participated in such judgments based on the opinion-building abilities that media has right now, of which we can only support ourselves to stop believing that ‘evidence builds a case’ and taking everything on a ‘face value’ instead of allowing ourselves to develop common sense, focus on becoming the point that stops all judgment, that stops building any ideas about others, and instead becomes the constant and consistent example of how we can coexist as human beings that support each other to live, not to gossip, judge and stigmatize people based on what causes enough sensationalism to make money out of it.

The me.die and enter.tamement industry begins and ends with us stopping our own mind from seeking useless diversions to not face ourselves and take self responsibility for our own lives. We begin with ourselves here.

 

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