Day 8: My body is Not an Image

Equalizing myself as my physical body implies not suiting the ideals that I have participated and created in my mind toward it, that would be reinforcing the same system that we are here to stop reinforcing . It is about considering every single cell and what I have put my entire body through whenever I have indulged into a ‘regime’ that I have followed in the name of religions, such as when I was a vegetarian, to the point of becoming anemic for not considering the actual physical requirements to nurture my body.

 

I’ve walked that process in the past – however a new dimension has been added to this process of me understanding what it means to really stand equal and one as your physical body. I mean, we have become so separated from our bodies that we follow our mind-created cravings in order to satisfy what we ‘think’ is what we want or require. Just today I realized that I wanted to drink some mineral water, which is absolutely unusual to me, which implies that I didn’t ‘think myself into it’ but was an actual sensation to seeing how I had an experience of wanting something that would contain something a bit more than just plain water.

 

I have been experiencing the subtleties of my body that I would not experience before – yet I see the importance of now integrating the written self-corrective support that goes hand in hand with practical physical actions of, for example, integrating more variety of foods as vegetables and elements that I would not buy simply out of routine. I have lived a life wherein ‘my routine’ has become ‘my religion’ and in that, even when it comes to food it becomes almost like a subservient way of ‘giving me the least variety’ in means of austerity, somehow, yet not realizing that me existing in such limitation is just also self-interest as I am only considering how I have judged food and what I eat and how I have defined myself according to money and what I eat, which are then relationships of value and separation from what I see I am actually capable of eating/ consuming without creating any ideas of ‘being abusive’ for eating – I had just written ‘indulging’ – into a wider variety of foods.

 

It’s quite revealing how one can use a certain image as a means to portray ‘modesty’ and ‘humbleness’ which has permeated the simplicity that I want to portray as an image, and can still come through as clothes – simple clothes – and foods – simple foods which doesn’t meant that it is ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ but I can still see that I am holding this ‘neutral experience’ toward it, which stands as a generated experience that I have limited myself within as well. It’s very cool to realize this as I have seen how one cannot really be ‘neutral’ as it is a long-standing point between both poles and still defining it according to having been living in either side of the opposite polarities.

 

So – the way to walk out of creating an experience form that which I eat is stopping giving it any ‘face value’ within my mind, no matter how ‘neutral’ it may seem. The moment I face resistances to open up the point implies that I am not willing to give up my ‘status quo’ which is a very familiar state for me wherein once that I’ve ‘reached’ a certain point I can remain in it without actually challenging such status quo and deliberate change the habit to learn where and how I can implement new points and solutions and physical support for myself. That’s something that I enjoyed about the farm, how points were constantly shifting wherein my usual desire to remain ‘safe’ in any given task, routine is suddenly immediately altered which forces me to re-evaluate, re-schedule and prioritize time and time again. That’s really challenging and it’s in those moments when we can face if we are really ‘stable’ and ‘unconditional’ regardless of the new situations/ events that may come up.

 

 

“Bodyshape – lol; when human beings see the word bodyshape – BODYshape is how it’s read, and attempt/try to shape the body according-to how the mind has shaped reality, and thus what exist within BODYshape is MINDshaped – where the mind takes IMAGES/PICTURES and attempt/try to shape it with/as actual physical reality that is not a Picture/Image but an actual physical existence/reality that is constantly/continuously in motion/movement according to our beingness/mind as how we express through/with/as the physical. And thus, Bodyshape has become Mindshaped and what experience the consequence is the being in/as/with the body – because the mind try shape the body according to a picture/image, like trying to stop time in the physical for the image/picture to manifest when the physical is constantly changing/in movement.

Thus, the process should be SELFshaping – assisting and supporting self to shape self up into/as Life/Living, and realise that it’s bodySHAPE – simply the shape the body is in according to self’s relationship with self and the physical, and to align self with the physical in shaping self and the body into/as equality and oneness – this is the shape that should be regarded”                                    – Sunette Spies

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my physical body and turning it into a single image that I have created in my mind of how it must look according to how I have imposed ‘my view’ onto reality according to how I see through the eye of the mind that places picture-presentation on top of the actual physical existence that is here as the physicality and all the relationships that are existent here as my physical body.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard every single cell and part of my body that I have put strain on whenever I would deliberately follow a new belief system upon eating, without regarding its actual nutrient requirements, which eventually lead me to experience my body giving an alarm that I required meat, which is how I realized that I had to stop following a belief system wherein I would only consider my own interest on ‘not feeling guilty for killing animals’ yet being at the verge of a serious physical condition that took me time and pain to recover from in the past.

 

I learn from such mistakes and deliberate abuse that I imposed onto my body in order to remind me to not follow again any regime that will lead me to consequences that I am not equating as myself As the Physical body, but only at the mind value wherein I seek to make myself look better and ‘feel’ better from a mind perspective, instead of actually considering the necessary nutrients and elements that I require to consume in order to support myself as the physical body.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my existence as only a ‘form’ as a physical body, that I only see the skin/ surface of, without realizing that there is an entire universe of cells forming tissues, organs, systems as the entire configuration that exists as my physical body that I must consider in its totality every moment that I am indulging into food, that I quit/ stop certain foods and the physical movement that I use as regular exercise for self-support.

 

I realize that it is within self-interest that we can abuse and limit ourselves from proper feeding every time that we follow an ideal of what we must eat, without doing proper research within our own body, doing one point at a time, step by step to ensure that we are in fact monitoring the changes and actual physical experience with such changes, to make sure that I am not putting my body under pressure and strain that becomes imperceptible by our current separation that we have created from our physical body.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having imposed my values upon body image, foods and looks based on what I deemed as ‘acceptable’ within my reality, which is a mind-reality where the actual physicality that I am comprised of was absolutely neglected and overlooked when and while imposing ‘sudden’ changes within my diet, which is deliberate acts that I would do in order to satisfy a mind routine of self-fulfillment without considering at all times the actual nutritional value for my body in itself in the first place.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having ever disregarded the very fact that I kept a struggle during an entire lifetime with wanting to achieve a certain ‘idea’ of how I must look, without ever considering the actual structure that sustains me, as the physical constitution of my body wherein each cell is aware of even the slightest change that I create in my day to day diet.

 

When and as I see myself pondering about creating a change in my diet, I stop and I breathe – I make sure that the starting point is actually in order to investigate how certain meals are able to support my physical body effectively, wherein I place aside and not participate within the starting point of using certain meals to support me to ‘achieve’ getting a certain body image as the body form that I have used as an excuse and patterned ideal that has no physical consideration for who I really am as the actual physical that cannot be possibly reduced to being only an image.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to reduce myself to being only image seen through physical eyes only.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard the fact that I am in constant movement and reactions as chemical processes inside me that I have become so separated from that I have neglected how the slightest indulgence, change/ alteration in my day to day living in relation to food can in fact create a disruption that I cannot even be immediately aware of, due to the extent of separation that I’ve fueled as the acceptance of who I am as a mind that seeks a ‘perfect picture presentation’ based on equally-sold picture-presentation ideals in the name of keeping ourselves entertained with and as the mind as ‘who we are,’ instead of actually stepping out of the mind-loop and get into actual physical considerations of our body as a living-organism, not a bi-dimensional picture presentation according to the standards of what I have believed will ‘make me feel better about myself’ which is linking the body image to a positive experience, like the one we get when having money and feeling ‘better’ than before.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to manipulate my body as a image that could portray ‘modesty’ and ‘simplicity’ yet still within the starting point of creating a ‘neutral’ experience within me, which is then how I have surreptitiously kept myself in a ‘comfort zone’ when it comes to actually dealing with how I have utilized my body to fulfill an ideal of myself – which is not Real but mind-based.

 

I forgive myself that I have deliberately manipulated my diet in means of ‘austerity’ which stems from the entire relationship toward money wherein I created such ‘modesty’ and ‘austerity’ in relation to how I used to spend a lot more money on a wide variety of food in the past- thus I realize that it’s not about creating an experience of ‘eating cheap food’ but actually starting to remove the value as money that defines my current experience toward food, and instead consider the actual nutritional value that is entails to eat and nurture myself as my physical body.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make of what I eat part of my daily self-religion wherein modifying what I eat seems like a sacrilege to my status quo, not realizing that within this I am only limiting myself to explore new ways of supporting myself and my physical body – mind and body equally.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link ‘austerity’ to a ‘positive value’ within myself, without realizing that it is also an experience that I must stop in order to start reconsidering the actual nutrition points that I require to support my body in an optimum way

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear ‘changing my habits’ as this is part of having to ‘break my personality/ ego’ as the usual comfort and status quo that allows me to ‘play safe’ within my reality, not realizing that this can only lead to stagnation and it is a limitation to the detriment of my own process of actually realizing new points that I can incorporate and move myself toward if I direct myself to do so.

I realize that modesty and austerity are only mind-created experiences that have no physical congruency to the reality that I exist as in my physical body which cannot be fueling or be part of the life-degradations I’ve created as personalities that I have used to suit my own desires of ‘how I must look’ and ‘what I must eat’ within an entire personality idea of me being a ‘modest’ and ‘austere’  person.

 

I commit myself to support myself to actually live in accordance to developing an equal and one support of myself as my physical body, as my mind which I am here to re-educate in means of supporting myself as who I really am as a living being that requires to establish proper relationships with Self as the physical.

 

I commit myself to walk a process of learning/ educating myself further on how what I eat supports me/ doesn’t support me, based on actual experimentation that I allow myself to commit to for a couple of weeks to see how it is experienced within my physical body.

 

The only acceptable form/ shape of myself is as a living being that is able to live one and equal here as my physical body first, to no longer put it under any form of strain while following a certain image/ ideal based on the constrains of my mind that is currently influenced by everything that sells well in this reality.

 

I commit myself to start considering what my physical body is actually requiring instead of following (fall-allowing) the thoughts in my mind of why I should or should not eat something. I have to develop in practicality what ‘man know thyself’ actually means in this regard, which is an actual living process that I’m beginning from here on.

 

 

Interview by Bernard Poolman about the points that must be considered whenever one is trying out new foods and diets in our every day living.

• Demonizing Sugar – YouTube

Blogs of the day:

• Day 7: Letting Go of Regret

• DAY 7: What has ‘Life’ Become?

• 2012: Living With the Word Food

Day 7– Deconstructing Sugar

Yesterday we had a chat with regards to food and quitting sugar, which is a point I have been consciously procrastinating due to the extent of the relationship that I have created with all things that create a sense of satisfaction, which are related to: sugar! I wrote out yesterday how obvious it was in my body experiencing the rush of sugar, I have made vlog about it as well in the past and I ‘reduced’ sugar for a while, then went back to it or at least not giving specific self-direction to the point, which was leaving the back door open for me to go in and out whenever I wanted.

 

This is about me as the creator of my own preferences, quirks and chemical addictions such as sugar. I am aware that this point is ‘far more extensive’ than any other relationship I’ve had, as this is about food that I’ve become so used to eating and ‘sweetening’ my life with, wherein it obviously at times became the ‘consolation price’ for all emotional down-loops, which is the most common way to divert my attention from what’s here.

 

I also realize that the last time that I was talking with my mother about sugar and stopping it, she told some something like ‘oh don’t be so hard in yourself, it’s not like you won’t ever eat anything with sugar ever again’ and in that, I could see how I gave myself this leeway to keep eating it as ‘the only pleasures left in life.’ I have also defined myself or creating myself a reputation for liking sugary things, specially when it comes to going out with my parents and having the opportunity to eat apfel strudel, lol my perdition.

 

I have to forgive myself the relationships that I build with the people that I buy food from. An example is stopping a relationship with a woman in the bakery as that friendliness is what kept me going to such bakery even if it was definitively more expensive than others. But then, I’ve created yet another relationship with other people where bread was cheaper and I made a habit of buying the same bread which lead the people there know what I like and identify me as the predictable robot I’ve become when it comes to buying items. God, the same in the supermarket actually… What is this revealing to me? That I have also compromised myself to buy and consume based on the relationships that I create with people and how they ‘identify me’ according to what I buy.

 

I cannot continue compromising myself in any way. I mean, if I walk past the bakery on a daily basis and I won’t buy there any longer, I might as well go in there to let them know that I won’t be buying bread from them as I have to take care of my sugar addiction. LOL

 

I realized how I have allowed sugar in my life as a ‘treat’ and I would deliberately ignore the side effects that I had to ‘endure’ as opposed to the deliciousness that was eating a cake for example. I mean, this should be read as masochism here, I’ve experienced how it is not cool for my body yet I kept doing it.

So in these seemingly ‘making up for’ type of experiences, we accept a LOAD of bs that comes in the form of ‘small allowances’ such as when you buy something and believe that you will be able to keep it for a week, and end up eating the whole thing in a few hours only. Stuff like that is creating the necessary alarms to realize: hello, I am not being the directive principle in my world, I am allowing myself to simply indulge into it for the comfort I experience within my body as I consume food that is ‘sweet.’

Ludicrous, we have created relationships toward food of course, and in that we have made of such a vital point an addiction, which is just an outflow of having made of our own thoughts a surrogate living as well as the emotions and feelings tied to ‘living’ as well as eating.

 

So let’s begin with that:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link sugar to a positive experience within my body wherein I have associated everything that is sugary as something that I ‘like’ by default and that I cannot say ‘no’ to, without realizing that as I stand as the directive principle within me, I have to create such ability to not be driven by a mental desire to eat sugar, but instead discipline myself to support my body with meals that are not creating me an ‘instant gratification’ such as sugary meals.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a self-definition base on it being ‘too difficult’ to quit sugar which means I was giving up before even trying it, which is ‘the’ point of self interest as a nice-fluffy experience that I can get from eating sugar, which I must now discipline myself to re-direct in a supportive manner, which is the process that I’ll be walking as I face this point.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let go of the idea of me being a sucker for desserts and specially, apfel strudel that I have defined as my favorite dessert of all time. I realize that deserting of myself as the idea of being an ‘apfel strudel sucker’ is something that I must let go of in order to stop existing as that energetic tie to it as a picture in my head of what I ‘enjoy,’ without realizing how much backchat it would occupy in my mind when being abroad and not able to get that specific apfel strudel that I like.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a thinking-relationship to getting the treats that I ‘like’ and in that, using my mind to continuously manipulate myself into getting that ‘quick fix’ of eating something sweet, without actually taking into consideration what sugar is and what it actually does to my body.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to procrastinate giving direction to stopping sugar because of fearing ‘missing out the sweetness of life’ by stopping eating sugar and bread and all of which I had created a relationship defined as ‘comfort’ and ‘consolation,’ which is mostly a coping mechanism when I am not willing to face myself a certain point that I am allowing to accumulate within me as backchat –  have resorted to instead cover it up by using something sweet to eat to neglect the actual experience that I am creating within myself and go into a sense of ‘satisfaction’ after it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create relationships of giving myself ‘rewards’ or ‘treats’ that I would create a relationship toward as that energetic longing for it, which is how I require to stop and see who I am without such treats and how I am able to replace such sugary treats with vegetables and other meals that are supportive and nutritional other than a piece of bread.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to the sensation of chewing something that I have defined as ‘whole’ and ‘filling’ such as bread in my mouth and stomach.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect the common sense that something that is altering my physical body to a sense of discomfort while digesting it, is simply not cool for my body and that I should stop it, yet instead allowed me to ‘swallow’ the side effects because of considering it to be the ‘consequences to bear’ for having such a pleasant and delightful taste in my mouth – and mind – out of eating something sweet.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to eat something that I know beforehand won’t support my physical body providing actual nutrients,  but instead allowed me to abuse my body to digest such gulps of sugar ‘just because of liking the flavor/ taste’ of it, and the sense of comfort and fulfillment that I would get out of it, which is my mind creating an energetic experience out of eating, which is certainly Not supportive at all.

 

I am here to support my physical body and that means stopping that which I have researched, realized and experienced in my body to be equal to  poison that makes my entire blood rush throughout my veins in an abnormal pace, which means that I am forcing and exhilarating my physical functioning at some level that is Not supportive for myself.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse my organs and my physical body that had to digest such amounts of sugar and me neglecting the actual strain that I’ve experienced to digest sugars, yet allowed it in the name of pleasure and a ‘piece of heaven’ such as when eating bread, cakes, apfel strudel and cookies – and in a lesser value: chocolate.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having created such ‘untouchable’ items in my diet like eating bread and consuming that which is always ‘nice to grab a bit from,’ because of wanting to fulfill and satiate the usual sugar cravings that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to – yes, I must realize that I am dealing here with a life long dependency as the acceptance of sugar within me as a stimulant to create a sense of ‘feeling good,’ no different to seeking love and light, really.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link the idea of sugar to ‘being cared for/ being appreciated/ being pampered/ being spoiled’ from the relationship of getting such sugary stuff from my parents whenever I go to visit them.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to place value in a person that I met and made me 5 different types of cakes for my birthday and equating that to ‘care’ and ‘appreciation.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a dependency to eat ‘sweet stuff’ such as bread or sweet rice in order to give myself ‘a bit of a reward’ during the day, as if I had to be consoled and fulfilled with such moments of eating ‘sugary stuff’ equated to ‘me caring for myself,’ without realizing that such sugar has no nutritional value at all and that it is certainly not necessary within my every day diet. Thus, I walk the process to prove to myself that I can continue living without eating these obvious items that contain high levels of sugar.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist quitting sugar and having procrastinated it for such a long time, because of fearing missing out on that which I have defined as ‘the most enjoyable stuff’ as eating something that I can have a sense of fulfillment through and as sugar.

 

I know it is possible to stop as some other Destonians have shared their on processes of stopping sugar and I could see myself just keeping quiet throughout the chat because I resisted placing a commitment to do the same and stop eating the most obvious items that contain sugar – there is also a point of ‘oh what if I ‘fail’?- but I can’t, because I’ve made decisions to quit other stuff in my life that was obviously addictive – including people and activities. I also understand that the relationship I’ve created with sugar is quite a ‘tough one’ in relation to how I have accepted myself as always requiring something ‘sweet’ to end the meals with, even if it was a sip of some juice or ‘fiber cookies’ or some other ‘taste’ that I could satisfy my desire to EXPERIENCE the sugary taste in my mouth as ‘the final taste.’

 

I have recently cut eating yogurt which had been part of my self-religion in food, it’s probably a month of that already – I tried quitting milk right away but my body went absolutely aloof, so I’m still drinking it in a very reduced manner – this is also in relation to the processes we’re walking and how we require to support our physical in relation to the meals I have been so used to eating and that I cannot just ‘cut out’ overnight. 

 

And so, I commit myself to stop eating any sugary stuff – specifically bread which I have defined as a ‘filler’ in both a physical and experientially speaking as that moment of actually chewing the bread as a ‘relief,’ as a satiating moment that I have defined as ‘giving myself a treat’ due to the obvious amounts of sugar it contains.

 

Sugar is a must stop – there are diabetics in both sides of my family. Actually I know that my grandmother died of diabetes and my sister – when she was little – would hand her chocolates in a secretive manner until she died. So, I see myself in that mirror and realizing that I do have a predisposition to being a sugar junky – the same with my other grandmother that is also dead and would be a yogurt junky, lol.

So, evidence proves that I must stop sugar, I have been also more aware of this sensations that food produce within me and yesterday I went to the shop and bought some greens and vegetables, which is something that I was only buying every now and then. I also realize that I will take the opportunity to find out how my body works without rice – which has become ‘the main meal’ in my diet – yet it makes absolute sense that it does turn into sugar as any other grain, including wheat. I knew this from my sister – who is a nutritionist – yet I continued fooling myself because of the routine, remaining in the status quo with what I eat – I  mean this uncovers how I tend to make of my days a bit of a ritualistic movement – however it’s going much better.

I am not as obsessed with cleaning as I was before, and having everything ‘perfectly’ around me, I am less concerned about ‘how things look’ around me yet I have to be aware of making it functional as well. And so, within this entire point of walking the physical process, something that Bernard said got stuck in me the other day in relation to creating patterns and habits that are supportive as we are now walking the physical process. Thus I realize that it is the ‘perfect time’ to establish that which I am willing to maintain as a living-experience in the physical as myself.

 

I have made a habit of buying bread as the only ‘treat’ I give to myself. I walked it in a mind construct a few months ago, lol and I only stopped going to ‘that’ bakery that I wrote the mind construct about, but then found a cheaper one which made it easier for me to have access to bread again. So, I realize that identifying all the points is key and I am perfectly aware when I make the ‘decision’ or should I say when I indulge-into stopping by the bakery and buying bread. I usually associate it with a reward system that I have created for myself in relation to what I eat – which I took as ‘normal’ as in ‘giving myself a treat’ but I see that I can become quite sneaky when it comes to these allowances and not really disciplining myself to it.

 

However, I am taking it bit by bit, I do take my body into consideration to reduce the amounts of it little by little as I’ve seen how cutting down meals that I had built myself of can be quite disturbing in an overall physical experience that is not comfortable at all.

 

I also realize that I must increase meat consumption with that, which I can only see I have limited myself to because of money – so there you go! our experience, nutrition and relationship to food is directly linked to how much money we have. I am perfectly aware that I could buy all of such variety if I had the money to do so, and seek for organic stuff that is absolutely expensive here. So, at the moment I’ll seek for the best options which means buying more vegetables, which are certainly not expensive.

 

So, thanks for all that have shared their experiences with stopping sugar, that is the type of support and ‘inspiration’ that I required because this is one of the points that absolutely goes ‘against Marlen’s will’ I mean, me the cookie-girl no way! – lol yes I once sold cookies during summer time with my cousins and called ourselves ‘cookie girls’ – we would bake cookies and sell them to our neighbors, it was quite fun but we obviously would eat the remains and so, that was not supportive at all.

 

This point of liking desserts is yet another ‘chunk’ of myself that I have created and continued to generate as a positive experience – I mean, I’m glad that I have come to build a taste for vegetables – thanks to my mother that would nag me to do so – but now I have to actually get rid of that which would ‘console’ my desire to experience something ‘sweet’ within me. So I’ll continue walking this point as I go, for now this is it.

 

I commit myself to being this process of cutting down sugar to eventually be able to stand and see that I am still here after quitting all major sources of sugar in my daily diet.

 

For further support:

• Letting Go of Sugar Addiction

• Facebook group: Redefining Food

• 2010 How to Stop a Sugar Addiction

• 2010: Stopping Sugar Addiction Vlog

• 2011 Addicted to SUGAR? ENERGY? Thoughts? Your Mind?

   

 

Blogs of the Day:

• Creation’s Journey to Life: Day 6: Blank Slate Mind Zombies

• Heaven’s Journey to Life: DAY 6: Who I Am as Money – continued

 

2012 Wake up, Character: Life is not a Play!

“Your past history and all of your hurts are no longer here in your physical reality. Don’t allow them to be here in your mind, muddying your present moments. Your life is like a play with several acts. Some of the characters who enter have short roles to play, others, much longer. But all are necessary, otherwise they wouldn’t be in the play. Embrace them all, and move on to the next act.” Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

 

The reality is that the moment that we accepted and allowed ourselves to believe that ‘life is but a play-out of events’ and ‘people the characters in our play,’ we define and reduce our living-physical reality to a  single –and often looping – story-to-tell and cherish for a future, where we can ‘look back’ and get a kick-out of re-experiencing such memories in our minds. Is it that we are only predictable characters in a story that we apparently only ‘find ourselves walking into’? ‘When,who, what and how am I generating these experiences and events in my reality?’ – ‘How on Earth have I gotten myself to this current experience?’ ‘Why am I torturing myself with self-deprecating thoughts?’ ‘Why can’t I stop thinking about the past!’

These are common sense questions that we tend to shove under the rug in one single moment, and it is in such moments that we have ‘skipped’ in our reality that we blindly accept that such experiences as thoughts, feelings and emotions are ‘Real’ – the blasphemy that comes when saying: it was all in your mind’ often crushes the gist that some have defined as an energetic kick gotten from a ‘positive’ and ‘negative’ experience in our reality – yet it was never actually REAL, but only generated within our own minds. Who we are here is the accumulation of the past, present  – and certainly if we continue the same way, the future as well – thus Time is only a nice elusive trap to believe that we have actually moved – yet we haven’t – we are here, we remain here and the only thing that will move is self as the establishment of being and becoming a living-moment of breath, of self directing self in such simple moments wherein we are Here or only perpetuating the past.

Have we exchanged this living moment of breath for a limited rush of experiences that eventually wither and decay? Who are the ones enslaving ourselves to such mental relationship? We are – and ‘moving on’ won’t be as easy as just saying so.

 

Who created and manifested such ‘hurts’ in our life? We did – what Dr. Wyer suggests is only using a band-aid solution to any accumulated backchat and reactions toward a particular person or event in our life that we fed in a direct way through our own thoughts, emotions and feelings. It is easy to say ‘embrace it all and move on’ as if the human mind was so ‘detachable’ from everything that we have linked ourselves to in specific relationships, we become our relationships and it’s clear that in our current reality, all relationships have been based on being self-interest driven characters that sought personal drama and glory all the time. How limited, to be dead honest.

 

These nice theatrical statements lead us to believe that ‘we must seek characters for our play!’ lol – and then go through life yearning to establish a point of connection with people to have some drama in our life. And I speak for myself in this – I was so imbued in storytelling and living through books that I only yearned and desire to live some of the experiences that the Characters of the books had. We called this ‘series of events’ as ‘life’ – experiences that we lead ourselves-to within the accepted and allowed belief that living is going through this rollercoaster of highs and lows – just like how sugar and love create a chemical reaction within our minds, wherein the moment we are ‘on a low,’ we seek the next rush in one way or another. In my case even the pit of depression would feel ‘good,’ because it was still a miserable energetic experience, eventually becoming a constant dependency that must be kept ‘down’ as a constant mental-state that I would feed with words, pictures, ideas and beliefs about the world, people, etc… Ehm-hem: it was all in my head!

 

Whether being the tormented or a cheerful positive person, both poles lead us to believe that life is a high end of a low and vice versa – lol – is it, really? Sounds more like the mechanism of a rollercoaster ride. Are we only these experience-seeking beings going up and down, bouncing off one moment then dozing off, then waking up to seek the next greatest energetic experience?

 

‘Move on to the next act’ – again, another play, another story to tell, another sequence of events that must have an ‘extra layer of adrenaline’ to make it better than the last one, more ‘extreme’ and ‘outrageous’ – just for the sake of gaining props in our personal scores. The next act we create with other people that apparently ‘leave a mark’ on us, never realizing that all experiences we created toward ‘them’ have always only existed in our own minds.

 

Is life – better said- should life be reduced to such feeble mind acts? No, that’s definitely dishonoring the very breath that holds all our mindfucks alive. Is it that we have never realized it? I’d say it’s more a point of not having allowed us to stop for a moment to see ‘who am I within seeking the next greatest ‘fix’ in my life? – ‘Is seeking to create events an actual way of Living?’ – What is Living?

 

Being here as breath, being absolutely self-directive in everything we do, think, say and how we interact with others is the base foundation of a life based in and as a sequence of breaths and not ‘events’ that hold the entire novel-like development, taking us on a ride up until the never quenching moment of climax/ orgasm that can only last for a moment to inevitably – by Newton’s law – fall back into a low, leaving us like addicts seeking for one more ‘ticket to ride.’ LOL

The power of equality is the gravity that bounds us to the Earth, to that which is real and applies to all. It is only the helium that we pump into our minds as thoughts and feelings that make us believe we can fly.

 

Oh god, all our songs, our culture, our behavior, our personalities, our characters defined according to playing a role in this entire play that we have called life – is it REALLY this in-and-out reality all that we are? Are we supposed to only be these storytellers that must always have a happy-glowing end or a tragically absurd type of human misery that leaves us Also craving for more?

No – who we are as Life must not be defined by energetic experiences that are self-created and induced as chemical reactions that we eventually become addicted to. No one can blame another for being an addict, because we all are as long as we are seeking for our next big score.

 

We are more than capable of scripting a reality that is constantly based on a living-physical experience that is satisfactorily for ALL as Equals – no need to create fluffy-puffy experiences to believe that ‘we’ve made it’ somehow. Lol! This is about Life!  Not a race! How can it be? We have trapped-ourselves into but an illusion of winning and losing – loving and hating – wanting and rejecting – all existent in our own minds.

 

So, the point is quite clear now: we require to stand as the principle that writes a script to LIVE, to enjoy and express for the sake of actually experiencing our physical bodies and sharing ourselves with others as well – allowing all to see that any mystical idea of being in a tragic comedy is only a game played to keep us busy in our minds, to then seek for a remedy to our own self-created misery – neglecting  the actual reality that certainly requires our full attention to see that what others are physically enduring is not only a ‘role in the play’ but the consequence of us living in fairy tales and missing out on ReALLity – we have become real ET’s on this earth, living up in our minds while missing hearing the grass grow.

 

So, we’re here to become the actual Characters that Live, the care-takers of the Earth = the Living Words that are not only a flickering result of lights that go on and off in a binary mode. I suggest that you give yourself a chance to take your life by the hand, and walk yourself out of these squared lines to finally hold the pen and script the life that you are willing to live for eternity as All, as One and Equal.

Support for that is here

 

“Love and Feeling must be understood to stop the abuse that is allowed in its name as Biochemistry. What is Real? man know thyself!!!”
Bernard Poolman 

 

No more strings attached to the past, the future or the present – no more Tie-me’s that exist only as the mind. We exist here in every breath that we take in and out – moment by moment wherein we establish who we are as Life or a character that lives through the eyes of the mind. What do you choose to be?