Tag Archives: suicidal tendencies

385. The Most Important Job in the World: Parenting

 

A Review & Commentary on the Documentary ‘The Naked Room’/El Cuarto Desnudo (México, 2013)

Throughout this process I’ve realized that the most important job that exists is that of being a parent. As I go understanding the fabric of our society, I can see directly how the lack of parenting skills or even the inability to know what these are or should be reflects back to our society, shaping each one of us into the individuals that at the same time, create the nature of the ‘world-system’ as is, because when we talk about ‘the world’ it’s not really the Earth, the living beings other than humans that are the problem – the whole and sole problem is who we have become as human beings and how we have shaped, modified and distorted reality through and by our mind as a consequence of lacking any efficient education and parental guidance while we are brought up in this world, which in turn affects every other part of our reality as well.

So in essence, we’ve lacked the skills to support ourselves as the units of our society to grow strong, healthy, stable and with clear directives in our lives and as a result, this society is the mirror of the lack and/or misguidance of parenting skills.

 

El cuarto desnudo/The naked room from AMBULANTE on Vimeo.

“The naked room” shows a whole world without leaving a single space: the examination room in a children’s hospital in Mexico City. Listening to the children, their parents and the doctors during consultations allows us to have a more profound and complex view of our social reality and of human nature.

 

I watched the documentary ‘The Naked Room/ El Cuarto Desnudo’ some weeks ago, here’s part of a synopsis I found about it:

The Naked Room exposes the complex and hard situations that are the consequence of something as simple as a kid wishing for a more loving brother. Also, the behavior of people with a mental disorder, a condition that always affects the loved ones (sometimes even physically). Ibáñez has not created a documentary to be enjoyed by everybody per se, I mean, we’re dealing with a brutal theme in a very direct way, with no pauses; it’s a constant display of human sadness and mental problems.

It can be easily described as a depressing film, after all it’s a natural view to the life of several persons, and some of their closest relatives, whose hopelessness has lead (some of them) to go as far as attempting to take their own lives. In a way, The Naked Room is here to explain the “why” behind suicide or self-harming, specifically when the problem happens to a kid or a teenager. What’s great about Ibáñez’s film is the fact that she is not trying to explain anything by interviewing doctors and relatives or using information from other sources. The doc is simply crafted: it’s entirely based on footage obtained from a series of meetings between psychiatrics and patients.

Ibáñez knew that showing those conversations was enough for a thought-provoking piece. All she had to do was place the camera at the right spot and then working inside the editing room. And the camerawork is really interesting and precise; firstly, it only follows the patients, hence some scenes are just fascinating: observing the facial expressions of the children while their respective relative is talking with the doctor brings a unique feeling, as the conversations deal with nothing childish, indeed.

For about half an hour we don’t see the same patient more than once, so The Naked Room engages you. The audience will want to know what’s behind, for instance, a problematic kid whose father has threatened to abandon him in the streets. There are many patients involved, so when each one of them appears again, you might be a bit confused, not remembering who is who; that could have been a flaw related to the structure, but the confusion is always temporal.

And, ultimately, the diversity only helps the documentary to be thematically richer. It can be seen as an exploration of teenagers, with such themes exposed as insecurity and social rejection, but that’s just one of its layers. The Naked Room is, simply, one of the strongest Mexican films of the year (my personal favorite from the Morelia documentary selection), even when it’s simply crafted, like I said, and very short (less than 70 minutes).”

Read more: http://twitchfilm.com/2013/10/morelia-2013-review-the-naked-room-el-cuarto-desnudo-a-powerful-display-of-sadness-and-insanity.html#ixzz2wu4eXQg1

 

The constant identification of parental patterns being transmitted onto children, the lack of creating supportive familial relationships and living environment, the lack of money to have proper nutrition, healthcare, education themselves, the fact that some parents didn’t want their children in the first place, the fact that they resort to hitting them for not complying to do what they asked them to do, the physical and verbal abuse between parents, the divorces and separations that affect a child’s ability to learn and interact with others properly, the lack of sexual orientation support, the threats used as a way to establish discipline that are depicted as part of the reasons why the kids in this documentary develop mental instability, can all be traced back to the parents and the unfortunate lack of skills, information and education on how to deal with their own lives, their marriage/relationships and in turn how to be a mother or a father.

In turn, parents have only learned to react to seeing the problem that their children develop as something born out of the blue, which is the position of becoming a victim to their children’s mental instability in the form of worry and preoccupation due to not knowing ‘what is going on with their children?’ without realizing that their role is inevitably implied within what their children are experiencing as well. However, can we talk about it solely being ‘their fault’?

 

nakedroom1

 
Understanding Who We Are as The Mind

Parents were educated in turn by their own parents and consequently the same has happened to those parents as well, which means that the parent-child relationship is the essential relationship that has shaped (ruined) the way that we develop ourselves as human beings. You might react and say ‘not me’ and I could as well, but the fact is that even if one can consider oneself having ‘good parents’ or ‘supportive parents’ the moment that there’s no principle of support to understand the mind, the feelings, the emotions, the ‘who am I’ as the mind and assist with the integration of physical living words that we can live as a decision, a self-directive process that one directs oneself to express as a Living Principle, one is already missing out the most important aspects of our relationship to ourselves, others and in turn the ‘who we are’ and will become as we come of age in this world – instead, we’ve been brought up with mechanisms that use fear, control, violence, abuse, threats in order to establish some sense of discipline and direction, as well as happiness, rewards, ‘love’ and the illusion thereof as ways to create the ‘good’ and ‘bad’ definitions that we’ve limited ourselves by, going all the time attempting to be ‘happy’ and/or dreaming of reaching an eternal happiness without even understanding how that is also a mindjob essentially. We’ve only learned to ‘cope with reality’ by reacting to the environment, to another’s words, to take things personal, to seek revenge, to be spiteful and that is of course already a massive fault in parental skills.

Not to blame ‘them’ though…

The reality is that we’ve never ever had such skills, because we had not ever before understood who we are as the mind, how it is that we are separated from our physical body through and by the mind which is a Mind Consciousness System, a design, a programmed patterned system that generates thoughts, feelings, emotions and through this our behavior, personality, fears, reactions, beliefs, etc. that we have adopted and believed is ‘who we are.’ In this documentary we can see this reality as spectators of a glimpse of how far one can experience one’s emotions and feelings to the extent of wanting to die just because there is no proper medical support, assessment or understanding of what the mind is, what our emotions is, how the patterns that we’ve acquired from parents are imbued from the moment of conception, and at birth we are directly influenced by every single word that parents speak, every single move, every single experience that parents have within themselves while being with the child – and this I am almost certain only an excruciating minority of parents have taken into consideration.

 

it is so damn clear in this documentary how the fact that we have taken our minds personally and others’ reactions personally, while being unable to understand Why such patterns of aggression, violence, harm, hatred exist and are coming from ‘those’ that should have ‘cared’/‘educated us’ to be able to live in this world the best way possible, which is what creates the traumatic experiences within children  that evolve to become ‘mental illnesses’ because of our inability as parents to stand as living principles for them, to become all of us in society a living example of how to live, interact and direct oneself in this world. This has been our ‘missing link’ in the relationship between parents and children, but also in our society as a whole.

 

The-Naked-Room

 

The First Seven Years of Your Life

At Desteni it’s been explained how the time-frame of development from ages 0-7 is crucial in our development because that’s where the ‘programming’ process of the mind takes place, activating all the pre-existent patterns coming from parents, integrating new ones from the child’s interaction with their immediate environment – which are most of the times, parents or any other ‘parental figure’ –

“The inheritance and transference of the survival skills from both your parents takes place when the entire mind consciousness system develops within you within the mother’s womb together with your physical development. The copying and duplication of the survival skills from both your parents takes place through your observations, interactions and participations with your parents’ as the parent/child relationship develops during your childhood years (from two to three years up to the age of thirteen years).”

Veno – Structural Resonance – Part 2 – Phase 5

 

This means that the direct effect of our words, thoughts, behavior and emotional or feeling participation is imprinted onto children from such early stage of their lives, with them being like a virgin cd that one is about to literally ‘burn’ with information that they will simply then replay, adjust and ‘upgrade’ throughout their entire lives.  That is the magnitude and importance of the responsibility we have toward every individual that is born into this world: the world we have for them at their arrival will become the program, the structure, the patterns they’ll accept as ‘how things are’ with the possibility of only changing them once that they’ve walked their own lives, their consequences and decide for themselves to change what they have learned up to that point, which is the process of Self-Honesty and Self Responsibility that we are walking here at Desteni.

 

So, while watching the documentary El Cuarto Desnudo I could understand for example what has been explained in the  Spite series of interviews at Eqafe in relation to Self-Harm. Some of the kids in the documentary attempting to commit suicide, cut/punch/harm  as a response to the disbelief they had of having their parents attacking them, insulting them, not giving them all the necessary attention, hitting them, abusing them in various ways as well as managing them with ‘fear’ which in result, in a helpless attitude of ‘I just don’t know what to do with her/him anymore, doctor!’ which to a young child it doesn’t make sense that your parent, your ‘guide’ is becoming your own worst enemy or an inept person to take proper care of you and as such, even if they say ‘they care for you’ or they ‘love you’ they are still not being supportive at all in the situation… doesn’t make sense isn’t it?

And no, it won’t make sense. And this is the point we’ve missed all along and that can actually support, assist parental relationships to entirely change because what hasn’t been understood is how the Mind operates, how the mechanisms of creation of energy as emotions, thoughts, feelings is what has become the directive principle, the sole ‘director’ of ourselves to the extent that we comply to such mind/thoughts/feelings/emotions absolutely ignoring our physical bodies, the living flesh that we are and that we should never ever harm in order to ‘relieve’ some sort of emotional or feeling experience which comes from a constant struggle and inner conflict to ‘cope’ with what’s going on up there in the mind, because the children look perfectly ‘healthy’ at a physical level, but in the mind they are certainly completely possessed and this is a clear testimony for us to see what the mind does to the physical body and why it is so important to take responsibility for our minds, our bodies and completely take both into consideration before continuing inflicting any harm or abuse upon oneself, only acting upon what we ‘feel’ or experience as thoughts, emotions in the mind.

In the documentary, almost every child would cut/harm themselves, and I’m talking about Children here –  which becomes a form of self-spite: anger toward oneself so that it becomes a way to spite the parents, which doesn’t make sense to spite oneself in an attempt to get another’s attention or ‘get back at’ someone when one is being ‘attacked’ by another, as that will then in turn become the attack and abuse onto oneself, the very same attack that one can be complaining about is coming from parents.  However because children are not taught how to deal with the emotions they have at a mind level, the only way to ‘cope’ with this inner turmoil which becomes self-hate is to resort to self-destruction. Do ‘they’ really want to do it? No, it’s who they are as the mind that want to harm themselves, just because the amount of energy continued to be thought of and used up by the individual is too extensive for the child to stop and get back to physical reality to understand how one is abusing one’s own body and in essence doing onto themselves what they were complaining that others were doing onto them at first – and this is how the ‘chain’ of self-abuse is continued.

 

EPSON scanner image

 

 

Learning from the Parents

With friction and conflict stemming from their family/environment situation, children learn to ‘cope’ with the constant conflictive and problematic situations with their own emotions generated as a reaction to things they see in their environment, things they are unfortunately done onto, and not having any way to stand up or stop participating in these automated reactions in the mind. And these can obviously be of a wide variety of factors, such as lack of money/education that turns into a poor household where parents have to work to make a living for the entire day – being left with other family members that might turn abusive, that might not properly care after them – sometimes the parents/relatives resorting to alcohol/drugs to cope with stress, to mitigate hunger, to mitigate family abuse, being depressed, being in the verge of financial bankruptcy…. there’s also marriage disruption, physical and verbal abuse between parents, abuse from parents to child which turns into children then hitting the parents/spiting the parents, desperation from parents for not knowing what to do with them and so children see themselves as being ‘a problem’ a ‘drag’ to the parents to the extent that they reason it’s best to die/commit suicide than continue living – and this may come from parents expressing them that ‘they don’t know what to do with them any longer’ or how ‘they wished they had never been born’  which once again, to a child and even if you the reader  never got told this, placing ourselves in the shoes of children being told this, it is mostly obvious that there will be a reaction of feeling worthless, not desired, not loved, inferior and this remains as permanent rejection throughout their lives unless they encounter support while growing up to not take such words personally, but understand how they come from parental distress, desperation, not knowing ‘what to do’ with their own lives and in turn not knowing what to do with their children.

 

There might emerge a desire to blame parents for that – but blame once again would lead us to miss out the point here. Blaming, holding grudge, being constantly mad, angry, frustrated at parents or even hating them is only the outflow of not getting a supportive, comforting and adequate parental support for the parents themselves to begin with while they were in the position of being the children. And one would say, yes, it makes sense to be angry for not getting that – but, this is where I implore you to consider the ‘greater context’ which is how I assisted myself to – within and after the documentary ended – be able to clearly see where the surges of blame or anger toward parents were coming from and immediately understand how it is necessary to see the ‘greater context’ to take all points into consideration to understand such parental and children relationships throughout our entire history.

The key here is understanding a very, very important point: All can be Self-Forgiven and Must be Self-Forgiven in order to stop holding on to the grudges created from children to parents and vice-versa if we truly want to change the world.

 

Human Chains (pic)

 

No ‘parent’ knows How to be a Parent.

No person is born knowing How to be a parent, a self supportive and adequate one, how to become an example for your child to ‘look up to’ because No Human Being has EVER been such Living Example for oneself or for others – yet. Sure there have been great personalities in the world that were ‘great men and women,’ but even that one can notice that people in politics or social change in the world such as Mandela for example, when his daughters were interviewed they were proud of him for the principles he stood for, but as a parent they had no further comment other than really not knowing ‘him’ as such, because he had not really been around with them….. point to ponder.

So, the problem is in fact not that we haven’t learned ‘how to be a parent’ but how to be a Living Human Being. We have only been mind-robots driven by thoughts, feelings, emotions, not knowing ‘how’ to cope with them, how to direct them because we entirely accepted ‘who we are’ as our mind and so, what happens is that the moment that we Identify ourselves with the mind as ‘Who we are’ entirely without any possibility of change, that’s where we dissociate ourselves from our ability to be self-directive which means, realizing that everything that we’ve become is the byproduct of generation after generation of human beings that have not known how to direct/deal with one’s thoughts, feelings and emotions – in essence with one’s mind – but only learned from certain religious and moral dogmas and ‘authorities’ that became only ways to control people through fear, or control through the illusion of ‘love’ which is another point I have had previously discussed.

 

 

What does being a Living Human Being mean?

The self that we all have and can become the moment that we start living and applying the realization that one has to honor, support, care, develop and nurture oneself to become an example of what it is to act, do and speak what is best for oneself and everyone else as equals. Becoming the Living Word, the Living Example for oneself and others to follow as the norm, the way, the law of our being in which we can trust ourselves and each other to realize that no matter what: I honor, consider, support and care for myself , I stand as my own support and as such, stand as support for and toward everything/everyone else as myself, as life, as equals. This is the standard, this is how we can genuinely ‘change the world.’

So because we have failed to live this way with and for ourselves, the consequence is and has been that all our relationships have failed to be fruitful and bloom into a world that we can all be genuinely ‘happy’ to live in. With understanding this premise of the ‘legacy’ we have in terms of the ‘human nature’ as the mind, the generation after generation passing of ‘the sins of the fathers’ it then becomes much easier to understand why a human being that has taken the role of being a parent has failed to become a living example for his/her children, because the consideration of being a Living Human Being has never existed – yet we do have all the potential of each one of us becoming such living example of being the human beings that we all know we can be and become – and this is where our responsibility resides: to ensure that we can be the example of how the so-called ‘human nature’ is able to be self-forgiven, stopped, self corrected and changed.

 

This understanding that I just shared here in written words is what I used to then see, realize and understand and self forgive the surges of any emotions that could have been accumulated while watching the documentary, and through this understanding rather seeing this documentary not only as presentation of the problems we have within children at a mental level – instead, it also becomes a  motivation to see once again for myself that there is just SO much that is required to get done in relation to education in this world, so much to be understood about the mind, who we are as the mind and how we can in fact support each other to assist those children to change and solve their experiences… but most importantly the Parents of those and any other children to prevent ‘The Naked Rooms’ around the world where children attempt to get support from psychiatrists, while not even being aware of the root and cause of the problem: ourselves as individuals, as human beings that have never lived to the best of our potential – but have only ‘coped’ with reality through and as a mind system that generates constant friction and conflict as the experience of ‘living.’ And to grasp this there’s quite a lot of understanding and information to self-educate oneself about this, which I will provide at the end of this blog.

 

 

Self Forgiving the Sins of the Parents 

Once one understands how ‘who we are’ is the reflection of what we’ve always been since the beginning of ourselves as humanity, we can truly see that there is no other way out of our hatred, our anger, our despair, our grudges, our laments, our grief toward parents, children, relatives or authority figures other than applying the principle of Self Forgiveness. Without Self-Forgiveness it would be very difficult to come to a resolution about any form of abuse that one has experienced through one’s life, whether from parents or anyone else. So I suggest to dissolve the word tag of ‘parent’ for a moment and just see ourselves as human beings, not being born knowing ‘how to live’ and ‘how to be self-directive in our mind’  and begin applying Self-Forgiveness for allowing ourselves to be driven by thoughts, emotions, feelings, reactions wherein as a child, one has no further idea as to what is being experienced within self – all the fear, the worry, the stress, the anger, the rage,the hate that is formed at home toward parents, siblings, teachers, schoolmates, all of it existing within self without proper direction other than medicines and ‘cures’ that don’t take into consideration the source and core of the problem: the who we are and have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become as the mind.

 

I’ve noticed that one of the most difficult things to do for children/people that have been abused by others – whether they are parents, siblings, relatives, schoolmates, etc. – is the ability to self-forgive, to absolutely take into consideration and understand why the other individual abuses, take into consideration their entire life, their entire upbringing, their social and economic background, their habits/addictions, their ‘modus vivendi’ and experiences and how they too also didn’t know at the same time HOW to deal with their own minds, and how it is the same for all of us – not a single one left without a mark – of passing this unresolved understanding of who we are as human beings from generation after generation up to the point where our ‘fuckups’ are escalating to the extent that one can only look at 3 year olds – or even earlier than that now –to already see the patterns they mirror of the parents and the generations that have gone before us.

One could say: well how come they learn to manipulate, to spite, to be envious and selfish, to be depressive, to be sensitive, to be angry, to hit others to get what they want, to treat others as superior or inferior, to like and dislike, to be a stubborn… and yes, a child is the entire reflection of the parents and of humanity in its entirety for that matter that only develops the rest of the pre-installed programming through the interactions with parents and the environment. And because it is only now that we are understanding these mechanisms that exist within the mind in the physical and the vital importance that this mind and physical relationship has in our upbringing, it means that we still have a lot to do in this world in order to make each one of us aware of this process, how to direct it, how to support ourselves so that we can start establishing solutions and a new educational process where we can change the world by changing humanity, which means: changing the way that we educate ourselves as human beings, which implies at the same time that the relationship between parents and children is the one we have to focus on, as it will be the guideline and blueprint for all other relationships developed by the child throughout their/our entire lives.

 

This also thus ties in with the previous blog entry wherein I explained to the people that first didn’t want to hear how it is about time that we STOP the patterns that we’ve continued from generation after generation in relation to the abuse of ‘educating children’ by hitting them, or teaching them to ‘fight/attack back’ upon abuse or become spiteful and vengeful… all of this MUST GO and Must be stopped by ourselves as the parents, the family members, the teachers, the siblings, the people around kids to become the examples of the way we can Always direct ourselves in a way that is best for everyone: self supportive, considerate, being able to communicate effectively, being the living words of the principles we want our children to embody as well and as such, children will learn by default  – from their very first interactions in a world where we all act and live by principle of what is best for all and as such, by default, learn how to live by principles too.

It is only an excuse and negligence to say that the human can’t change, that we can only resort to psychologists or psychiatrists – this is unacceptable. What we require is to apply a New understanding and vision of who we are as human beings in order to support every single being that comes into this world to adopt the new living ways that we can begin living within ourselves individually and in the ‘without’ as the way the world system operates. For that, investigate the Living Income Guaranteed to provide support for parents to have sufficient time to stay at home implementing the new education available for parents and for any other individual –regardless of being a parent or not – at the DIP Lite course for free.

 

It certainly won’t be the same to bring a child to a self-supportive world where you have a guaranteed income/have your human rights being genuinely granted and assured with money provided to you from birth than a baby that is born in a condition of poverty in a third world country where not even a solid foundation of family or parents exist, because everyone is on a survival modality. It doesn’t make sense anymore to continue allowing our children to grow up in front of the TV and computer screens or taken care by ‘third parties,’ and the reason why this is so is because everyone has to ‘get a job to live’ and there’s no support given to parents to get time to educate their children. This should make it clear how it is all of us that are ‘shooting our leg’ by not providing to each other the right to life, so it’s about time we understand that the new way of Living is to Support Ourselves and Support All Life Equally to become our fullest potential.

 

To learn how to stop being only a mind that perpetuates the patterns and sins of the fathers, research:

 

Parental Support:

 

Parenting and Educational Blogs:

 

Vlogs:

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275. Child Addicts: Problem–Solution–Rewards

In the Equal Money Capitalism, we are presenting the current problems that are affecting our society, directing it toward a solution and looking at how we will all be benefited from having a world that stops running in self-abusive, harmful and destructive patterns.

In this blog, we are continuing from the presentation of the problem in the last post 274. Child Drug Addicts – here we are directing the problem toward a solution that invariably generates equal rewards. This means that the same pattern of rehabilitation and solution can be applied to any other country/ population that presents a similar problematic.

Watch the documentary Afghanistan’s Child Drug Addicts in order to become aware of how drug addictions does not only mean ‘wanting to escape’ reality out of fun and having enough money to sponsor your own escapist-habits.

 

  • Problem:

War in Afghanistan  has destroyed the city, many have been killed leaving families without parents to take care of children.

– Males use drugs in order to be able to work longer hours, which means not enough money is made and as such, bring the addictions home and spread even to 1 and a half year old babies.

– Children lose limbs because of the war and have no medicines to cope with the pain, villages are attacked wherein civilians become casualties of war. Parents have no other option but to give them opium to ease the pain, which leads them to become addicts from then on.

 

Psychological Damage: Teenagers suffer from depression because of loss of family members in bombings/ witnessing suicide bombers/ seeing dead people and having to recover from the traumatic experience which means, coping with suicidal tendencies.

– Families torn apart by the wars – hence children as young as 11 years old turn to drugs to cope with reality.

– Children turn to prostitution from the age of 8 years old in order to fund their own addictions – there’s no jobs/ no work.

– The Afghan powder/ heroin is the cheapest in the world here because of drug cartels now turning their poppy harvest into heroin, so it is ubiquitous. One gram is over 1 Pound.

 

– Poverty: High rates of unemployment make of drug addiction the common way of spending time and curbing the need for food.

– Adult population turn heroin addicts in order to cope with a reality where no support is given.

– Children are adopting the patterns of the parents within the consumption of heroin in order to mitigate hunger.

– No health provided, no doctors available, no support on how to deal with child addicts.

– Food is more expensive than opium.

– People would sell drugs to make a decent living, and with the eradication of their plantations, they have no other option but taking drugs due to lacking food.

– Not able to afford medicines, opium is the answer.

Family Crisis: Parents  give opium to their children in order to mitigate hunger

– Half of all opium users give it to their children of which the number is in the rise due to no solutions.

– Other children just become addicts due to the parents’ smoke

– Parents give their children drugs in order to cope with the pain and hunger.

– There’s not enough food to feed the whole family and when smoking opium, they lose the appetite.

Drug Addiction is seen as a dishonor in Islam : leads people to be afraid to ask for support.

– Only one center deals with child addiction in the entire country.

 

Consequences:

– A Generation of Drug addicts is created.

 

  • Solution:

– No more wars in order to obtain resources from other countries

– No more wars against ‘terrorism’ as wars are in itself terrorism

– Changing the harvesting of heroin for money into foods for human consumption. Drug consumption won’t be a necessity if everyone is given equal support.

– Proper living conditions that ensure all people have access to decent jobs such as reconstruction/ building of houses, schools and all the infrastructure that has been destroyed with the wars

– Education to parents in order to take care of their children with proper medical health supervision to not treat any form of ache with opium

– Educating the population about the long term addiction problems that ensue when giving their children opium/ heroin.

– Access to food,  water, sanitation services, education, nutritional and parenting counseling while developing crops to grow actual food and not drugs.

– Rehabilitation programs that are openly supported by the government: no more religious veto toward addictions which means, facing the problem as the national crisis it has become.

– Kids without parents given to proper adoptive ones that will ensure no abuse is committed onto them.

 

  • Rewards: 

– Peace, safety, tranquility for all inhabitants in the world with ceasing fire and all forms of warfare.

-Resources that were directed toward defense against the invasion can now be directed to support the population to get to live in dignified living conditions.

– Healthy living conditions/ environments wherein people can learn how to take care of their children while having access to proper food, water, sanitation, education and practical care considerations to ensure no more addictions are generated due to lack of money.

– Education availability based on self-care, proper nutritional habits and taking care of the environment as well as involving the parents to rebuild the city/ houses given the necessary means to do so.

– An actual historical treasure that this country represents could be open for visits without having tourists fearing to be another causality of war or kidnapped.

– No more child prostitution or drug addiction, no more depression or suicidal bombers – the living conditions given in equality generate a sense of well being within all individuals, ensuring real happiness as an actual possibility that will never again  be silenced by the sound of a bomb.

– Ensuring a generation of human beings that learn the consequences of war and poverty as they are supported to gain stability through communal support toward the reconstruction and rehabilitation of themselves and their environment.

 

Read all about the Equal Money Capitalism here in the Economist’s Journey to Life and the Equal Money System website

Equal Money Capitalism

 

 

 

 

Must Hear Interviews:


274. Child Drug Addicts

Watch the documentary Afghanistan’s Child Drug Addicts in order to become aware of how drug addictions does not only mean ‘wanting to escape’ reality out of fun and having enough money to sponsor your own escapist-habits. This time it is not that people are bored to live in a world where everything is taken care of – like in Australia where people are shooting up Ice, a new trendy drug with the money that the welfare provides them. Nor is it a drug-situation due to being sunk in depression in a world where consumption and massive forms of entertainment often lead to seeking for a ‘greater experience.’ This time it is about war and the consequences that people in Afghanistan are enduring. 

Some two years ago I became aware of the massive heroin problems in Afghanistan, but I had certainly not realized to what extent this problem was now being extended on to children. The documentary shows how children as young as 5 years old are already in ‘rehab centers’ for children, and this is just to give a name where several children are taken in order to unhook themselves from smoking opium. It is heartbreaking to see children that should be happily playing and running around just waiting for their next hit out of three times that most smoke opium during the day.

 

Some of them also explain how they became addicts after their families were killed in bombings conducted by the Americans, many of them lose their limbs and are left to ‘live’ a life of mitigating the pain and suffering with drugs. Some others get hooked on drugs and pay for them with sexual services, which means that the addiction drives them to become child prostitutes in order to fund their addiction. Why? Because they are kids, there are no jobs and they are left without families and parents that are either sent to wars, are killed in attacks or simply have no money/ support at all. When the reporter asks them why they don’t rather spend their money on food, they explain how buying drugs is cheaper, where food would cost over 3 pounds and opium costs around 2 – they have no other food than some tea and some stale old bread to feed 9 people – yes, reading again: 9 people.

 

Drug addiction is condemned by the Islam and as such, families that are all hooked on heroin refrain from asking for help because of the major consequences that would mean if people find out they are taking drugs.  ‘Underneath the bridge’ is no longer just a sappy song from a 90’s band from someone that went through a broken home in the ever-glooming America, it becomes now the definitions of the several places around Kabul where people – mostly males – gather to shoot up heroin, because it is cheaper than having to buy food.

 

Younger people experience depressions after having to witness the horrors of wars and I mean, we can look at the type of idiosyncrasy that we support in this world wherein we go to the movies to witness such violence from afar, while others are just put through such horrors in real time, being affected for their entire lives because losing your parents in such attacks definitely means that as a 11 year old you are bound to have no support in a world system and government that is currently busy funding and fighting wars than any form of solution to take care of the people that are becoming addicts as a direct consequence of the availability/cheap price, the hopeless environment and the ubiquitous addicts that certainly have no future other than continuing numbing their hunger pains and gathering to go by through another day.

Is this life? I had written about ‘living to get high’ but this is essentially the opposite: getting high to ‘go by’ through life, because there is barely any indicative of care and support for these people, this is a real crisis that we are happily unaware of when using drugs to have ‘more fun/ a greater dopamine experience’ while people in real harsh conditions are using drugs to numb the pain and suffering.

All of these men could be healthy and working to create a world in which I am sure they would be more than willing to cooperate building – what are the chances for you to have a will to live in an environment where everyone is doing drugs to numb the lack of food and support to live in healthy and harmonious conditions – to witness these people through the comfort of our own houses already makes us responsible enough to realize that we are the only ones that can create a change for THEM, because they are powerless, hopeless and helpless and so are their children that have no opportunities to have healthy living environments, education and actual joy to live, there is nothing like that. Seeing bodies scattered everywhere, putting your own family members on plastic bags and wanting to kill yourself out of the horrors of war is certainly the type of damage that will take lots of will to live to stand up from and support. But not even the ‘greatest intentions’ will make a difference here, no amount of positive thinking will make a change – this is about changing the system in order to ensure that no single child resorts to child prostitution, child labor and drug dealing in order to support their own addictions.

 

This is all quite a sad situation indeed, but I share what Mykey shared in relation to finding out the actual truth of the reality “not to let the reality shock be possessed by the mind by victimizing yourself towards it and creating a personality about it, but to remain stable and directive in the decision to CHANGE this.”

 

As I write this, I realize that certainly creating an experience about this would only be self interest – we cannot wallow and use another’s experience as another excuse to not stand up, it is precisely the opposite which is realizing that their suffering is our suffering and as such, there cannot be a single living being experiencing ‘bliss’ while a single child starves to death or resorts to drugs to mitigate hunger pains.

 

From ‘Wikitravel’ on Kabul:

WARNING: Travelling in Afghanistan is extremely dangerous and is strongly discouraged. The current Afghan government has little control over large parts of the country; in particular, most of the South and East including Kabul is effectively a war zone. Threats are unpredictable and the situation remains volatile.

Trips should be meticulously planned and travellers should keep abreast of the latest security situation throughout their stay. If, despite the risks, you still find yourself heading there, see War zone safety and the “Stay safe” section below.

http://wikitravel.org/en/Kabul

 

These are the ‘warnings’ for us people with money, staying away from what is obviously a non-secure area to live in – but, what about the people that Have No Option to get away from there other than living in extreme poverty and not really knowing if a bomb will soon drop upon their houses, killing their family members and leaving them homeless.

 

Once again the solution for this situation is certainly to provide equal support to all living beings, to STOP ALL WARS as we can see that the results of ‘fighting war against terror’ is becoming a constant actual threat and crisis at all levels for the people that then resort to drugs to mitigate the pain and suffering and lack of food/proper living support and families that are often involved in being ‘casualties of war’ that no one is currently taking responsibility for.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever think or believe that drugs could only get you ‘high’ for fun and pleasure, without realizing that drugs are also being used to mitigate the pains and suffering that the lack of living support creates – and this means that I have been unaware of how drug addictions are formed in order to ‘go by’ through life and create a painless day to day living due to the horrors that they witness on a daily basis, which is the direct result of myself accepting and allowing this current world system that is not supporting all living beings to live and instead, is funding wars to go and kill and destroy people’s lives.

This is a humanitarian self forgiveness because we tend to live in our little bubbles of anxiety, depression and hopelessness while having daily meals to eat, an education and all the opportunities in the world to have a dignify living and we usually squander all of this because of a single self experience of ‘not being good enough/ not feeling ‘happy’ or experiencing any other inner-flaw, where we tend to forget what Real suffering and Real problems are in this world.

This is how when and as I see myself wanting to just ‘escape’ for a moment from this reality and create a personality out of it in terms of feeling hopeless, helpless – I stop and I breathe – and I realize that in my hands/ in our hands that have enough money and education to live is the key to present, promote and implement a new living system that will ensure that these atrocities are never again part of our reality.

I commit myself to live as the strength that is requires every single day in order to never forget what it is that I am living for, which is to support myself to become an example of what living life should be, and not allow myself to be ‘down’ by what I witness in this world but instead remain stable and self directive to ensure I contribute to change this situation into a best for all living environment.

 

Sure, this will take time but the more we wait the more we will continue witnessing these atrocities from a comfortable position. We are saying: there is no need to reach the bottom to realize there is something inherently wrong in this world, yet the point is clear: we will have to do this if we want to remain living in this world/ Earth. Who we are as the physical body Does Not require drugs to live, who we are as physical beings would not allow each other living organism to slowly but surely self-destruct – everything that is currently ‘wrong’ is the result of who we have become as the mind and for that, we require to understand how we are all inherently affected by all the matters in this world, no matter if you believe yourself to be ‘far away’ from it, so please research Desteni and how the monetary system operates according to made up beliefs that are not taking into consideration the real requirements of people on Earth.

 

In the Equal Money Capitalist system where will be no children taking drugs, no adults shooting up heroin underneath the bridge, no more humans crying for their families lost in wars. No more lack of food, proper living houses, water, sanitation services and will get all the medical support that currently doesn’t exist for them. No more children working, no more child prostitutes, no more children losing their childhood while waiting for the next hit.

 

 

A Contrast in Drug Addiction Documentaries:

 

Blog:

Addictions in the Equal Money System « Equal Money for ALL as LIFE

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Must Hear Interviews:

 


269.The Inner-Hell creates the Outer-Hell

 

The pattern unfolds the following way: one faces a point wherein Self Responsibility was neglected, wherein we didn’t measure the consequences of our thoughts, words and deeds and as such ‘all hell breaks lose’ within ourselves, because then we are faced with consequence, and we realize there is No way out from it this timeright?

Continuing from:

220. Drug Culture: Mad Society as a Lifestyle

Fear Dimension:

I will have to face the ugly truth of myself/ what I have become

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having to face myself as the point of neglect that I allowed to develop and exist due to my own irresponsibility toward myself as my thinking processes that lead to a physical consequence wherein now there are manifested consequences that I realize I have to face and as such

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having to endure the consequences and become fearful of facing my reality, without realizing that all the time I had the ability to take responsibility for myself, my words, thoughts and actions – but I didn’t – thus, I realize that fear is a convenient self-experience to victimize myself toward that which I have created without self-awareness – which means that

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use Fear as a way to cover up the fact that I neglected my own responsibility toward myself as my thoughts, my actions, my relationships, my own physical body and within this I have deliberately made myself ‘fearful’ to not see and face the reality that I’ve become, which is every single thought, every single word, every single relationship toward others and myself that have now caused a consequential outflow that has damaged myself and others, just because I had not considered what actually caring for myself in fact means.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to equally be fearful to face and confront the reality that this world has become, without realizing that this world is the collective accumulation of all individual neglect that I am actually participating and existing as myself – which implies that I cannot blame ‘the state of the world’ for how I experience myself, as I am the one that has decided how to experience myself through and as thoughts, feelings and emotions, never ever realizing that these are the mind-mechanisms wherein we eventually only get ‘drowned’ in our own self-experience and neglect the actual physical reality that is being constantly abused for us to maintain our personal heavens and inner hells, just because we haven’t realized the level of self-destruction that who we are as the mind has become upon this physical reality, which is what we really are/what should be a point of stability for all to actually live.

 

Thought Dimension:

Just vanishing, everything disappearing, me being doing nothing at all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when facing the consequence of my actions/ inaction and neglect toward my self responsibility, resort to a momentary thought of just wanting it all to end, just vanish and not think and experience anything, which is the pattern of wanting to avoid realizing that: nothing and no one has created such ‘unbearable self experience’ within me other than myself through constantly and continuously only having sought to ‘feel good’ and avoid taking responsibility toward myself and my world – this implies that

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to and desire to escape the mind as all the inner-hell/ turmoil that I have created within myself, without realizing that such inner-hell is in fact only created by the same mind that I have blindly participated in as constant thoughts, internal conversations/ backchat, reactions, judgments, emotions and feelings that exist as the energetic system that I have given attention to, which has now become ‘who I am’ and a such, out of my self-directive principle because of not having realized that Who I Am is the stability of the physical body, and that all the inner turmoil is indicating a point that I am not taking self responsibility for, a point that I have separated myself from and must investigate – but instead, allowed the inner-hell/ turmoil to become ‘who I am’ until it became unbearable that I did Not direct myself toward a solution and allowed myself to be overwhelmed by the consequence, which has now lead me to want to ‘vanish’ and just ‘scape’ through ‘plugging myself out’ through any means such as any substance, activity or person that I have defined as a ‘feel good’ experience, without realizing that in seeking for ‘feeling good’ again, I am only compounding the consequence of the neglect of sorting out that which ‘made me feel bad’ in the first place, which is myself and my own disregard to take actions to align and correct my life in order to function as what’s best for myself/ all equally.

 

Backchat/ Internal Conversations:

– I rather just give up, there is no point in solving that

– It’s done and I fucked up

– I knew this would lead nowhere

– I just want to make it all stop

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use thoughts in order to justify my irresponsibility toward myself and my reality with words like ‘I rather just give it all up, there is no point in solving that’ wherein I have believed that ‘giving up’ is an option I can take and that any point of solution is ‘pointless’ due to me having delegated the responsibility toward myself / my world toward ‘others changing first’ and as such, have used the ‘state of the world’ as a reason, excuse and justification to not take responsibility for myself and create an entire mind-possession of apathy/ depression/ sadness and despair that leads toward a ‘giving up’ self-experience, without realizing how it is in this very experience that we give Into the mind of self-interest, wherein I only then care about ‘How I Feel’ / ‘How I am Experiencing Myself as My Mind,’ wherein one then seeks to ‘feel better’ by using/ consuming/ doing something that will take me to the ‘positive experience again,’ which is how I have neglected to take Self Responsibility at all times, because of having always only been concerned about ‘How I Feel,’ regardless of who and what I am abusing within this.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use self-judgment as ‘It’s done and I fucked up’ which is a recurrent patter whenever I actually seek a form of companion and condescendence for my own created misery and neglect, which is just another form of using words to abuse myself and others in order to cover up and justify my lack of self-direction when it comes to taking responsibility for every single word, self-experience that I have within me – within this realizing that such words as ‘It’s done and I fucked up’ lead to a ‘no remedy’ situation wherein one leads oneself to the ‘bottom of the pit’ which is just another form of self-victimization to not have to face the reality and consequences that I have manifested and participated in equally.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept the words ‘I know this would lead me nowhere’ wherein the fact of Knowing as a conscious awareness of the potential damage/consequences created by myself were deliberately ignored due to me having always sought to feel good/ feel at ease/ do the least effort which amounts onto a series of points neglected/ avoided/ deliberately not looked at/ investigated such as my own thinking patterns that I have fed and created into this ‘unbearable self-experience’ of which I seek to escape from through wanting to ‘give up’ on myself/ life and everything, without realizing that who we are as the physical body does not give up on self until death, and that it is only through a mind possession that we can be seeking to ‘give up’ which indicates that it is who we are/ have become as the mind that is the first point of self-awareness that we must develop and consider in order to prevent these forms of mind-possession to take place.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the backchat ‘I just want to make it all stop’ wherein the clear self-experience is that of victimization wherein I deliberately seek to ‘stop’ the consequences that I have participated in creating and manifesting every time that I accepted and allowed myself to follow my thoughts, my desires, wants and needs that would not consider first doing/ acting and directing that which ensures my physical stability and stable-sound relationships toward others and myself, my environment – and within this

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realizing that within this ‘I want to make it all just stop’ I am only existing as this selfish-decision that is not considering in fact ALL as myself as an actual living organism that I am reducing to a problem in my mind, which I then seek to ‘stop’ and ‘get rid of it’ without having taken a moment to look at myself, my words, thoughts, internal conversations, emotions and feelings that have lead me to create the physical consequences that I am now facing as myself.

I realize that this consequence that we have become is often sought to be avoided and shoved aside, which is what leads us to immediately seek to ‘feel good’ again, to ‘make it up’ for ourselves again, which is unacceptable since it is in fact those same ‘feel good’ self experiences that have lead us to neglect ourselves as physical beings, this world and all the actual living species that are enabling our ‘lives’ to continue, which means that: without the physical support of the Earth in itself, my ‘inner-hell’ would not be able to be fed and I would not exist – which implies that we are constantly abusing ourselves every time that we rather give into this mind possession of ‘not feeling alright’ and ‘wanting to escape’ instead of actually looking at the responsibility that we all hold toward this current world-wide/ global state of crisis that is clearly generated by all of us collectively and as such

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to see how ‘how I feel’ and ‘who I am’ as the mind, as what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become is defining and co-creating the world outside of ourselves, which is not really separate from how I experience myself in the ‘inside’ as the expression of abuse that I have become as the mind is the current creative force and maintenance of the abusive status quo in the ‘outer-world’ as the current ‘outer-hell’ we have become as humanity within this world, abusing it in order to fuel our mind possessions, which is unacceptable.

Imagination:

Negative imagination: having to spend a long time solving the problem/ situation

Positive imagination: numbing myself out any form of drug/ stimulant/ activity/ inactivity

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use my mind and imagination to extrapolate the problem/ situation I am facing as a ‘worst case scenario’ such as having to spend a long time and having to implement a lot of effort to solve the problem/ create a solution to what I have done and become, without realizing that in this process of imagination, I am constructing just another reason and excuse to not move myself, not face my consequence and instead, become deliberately negligent toward myself and my reality, seeking for a ‘quick fix’ to sort it all out, which is usually through using and consuming something that will take me to this positive self experience – therefore

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to after I have participated in the negative imagination of all the possible outcomes of having to create solutions to the problems I have created and manifested within myself and my reality equally, I veer toward the ‘positive imagination’ such as wanting to immediately feel good again, wanting to consume and experience something that I have defined as ‘good’ and ‘positive’ which is mostly created through any form of drug, stimulant, activity or inactivity as well as relationships that I have used in my world in order to further ‘numb myself down’ and not face my reality and the consequences I am running away from, which is quite pointless and a waste of time if I realize that there is no actual way to ‘run away from myself’ in my imagination, as eventually we all have to face our reality and what we have become.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use my memories and imaginations as a way to program within myself an immediate way to ‘make myself feel better’ by going from the negative outcome to the positive outcome that I then seek to live-out as my reality, creating further consequences of evading my responsibility instead of actually stopping all participation in the same evasive behavior, place the cards on the table so to speak and ground myself as the physical to start looking at solutions instead of seeking further ways to ‘run away’ from it.

 

Reactions:

-Dread, dullness, apathy, wanting to give up

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a negative self-experience as emotions of dread, dullness, apathy as a general ‘wanting to give up’ self experience that I haven’t seen and realized represent the most common form of self-manipulation and excuse to not have to face oneself and the consequences created by my own negligence and deliberate unawareness, which means that, I have accepted and allowed myself to become subject to my own mind to define ‘who I am’ according to the conditions suiting my desires or not – and if not, I then use all forms of thoughts, internal conversations and imaginations to lead myself to embody this ‘giving up’ self experience, which I then believe is who I am, without realizing that is is only a mind-entity as all words, thoughts, imaginations, memories as patterns that I have diminished myself to be and become, without realizing I am in fact giving my breath/ my power away to fuel these self-destructive self-experiences without creating a solution to actually align/ correct the point I am becoming emotional about – within this

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize how any emotional experience is a deliberate self-manipulation and distraction to not have to face who I am and what I have become as the mind that I have believed is ‘everything that I am,’ constantly seeking to feel good/ be at peace in order to not face the inherent self-experience of being unfulfilled, unsatisfied, not good enough, never getting anything right, never succeeding, looking at the world as one big fuckup and allow all of these thoughts to become a self-experience that in no way are in fact contributing to my own well being and as such are no solution to the collective well being.

I realize that we have always resorted to complain about ‘how we feel/ how we see the world’ but in no way do we even conceive that it is ourselves only that have created this imbalance within and without in our reality, and that the actual beings that are suffering and having to endure the consequences of our mind-possessed decisions in life, are all the animals, plants, environment that we literally consume and abuse to constantly seek a ‘feel good’ point at a mind level, without being aware of the physical abuse and depletion and destruction that takes place within our body as our own physical flesh and without as the Earth’s resources that we literally burn up to generate Energy to ‘feel good.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Justify my experience as this reaction of ‘giving up’ and being in this emotional turmoil without realizing that in being and becoming so, I am Not supporting anyone in this reality at all, I am only supporting further self-abuse of myself and everyone else in this world, as I realize that whatever I accept and allow within myself is not an ‘isolated problem,’ but it is part of that which co-creates everyone’s self-experience as well, because the moment that we are ‘not alright’ within ourselves, all our relationships toward other beings in our world will also not be alright and as such, the entire world is woven and created and stemming from our own relationships that we have neglected toward ourselves first as our own mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to go into a positive experience whenever I am ‘down’ which is my self-created victimization state and within such mind-possession, seek to ‘feel good’ and ‘feel better’ through wanting to simply give-up about everything in my reality, wanting everything to just ‘disappear’ which is an apparent easy way out to ourselves and the consequences created, without realizing that I am the only one that has created such ‘unpleasant experience’ due to the relationship toward myself as my mind, my physical body and every other living being that I coexist with, which has never been considered in equality and self support.

 

Physical Dimension:

– Yawning, wanting to sleep, slouching, heavy eyes, tiredness

– Doing something compulsively like pulling out  my hair or cleaning something, going out to ‘get something’ that I don’t precisely need

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to yawn and ‘want to sleep’ whenever I am facing a point of consequence and as such, want to evade having to go through the actual process of self responsibility toward myself and my world

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to slouch and have a general self-experience of being ‘weak’ and ‘tired’ which I have accepted as an actual self-experience, without realizing that this is only the externalization of the thoughts and emotions that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become – which implies abusing my physical body and its stability, deliberately manipulating myself to ‘feel bad’ in order to justify further evasion of my responsibilities in my reality, which is unacceptable since it is a physical-self manipulation that is only supporting who I am as the mind and not who I really am and what I am willing to accept and allow of myself as the physical body that is actually Unconditional in its expression as long as I feed myself properly and breathe and exercise and relate to my physical environment in a common sensical manner = considering what is best for myself and all equally.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience a general heaviness in my body when having to confront the consequences that I have become as the outflow of my participation in the mind, wherein having heavy eyes becomes the ‘way that I see’ the world and everything, which is then an indication that I am becoming and embodying a mind possession to not SEE the reality of myself and what I have become, but instead seek further excuses and justifications to escape and evade my reality as a general ‘I am not feeling well’ which is obviously the consequence of who I am as the mind upon my physical body – which is the point of self responsibility to align here.

Consequences:

– Wasting time, having to catch up while I regain my stability, missing out great opportunities of self-change due to giving into the energetic experience of ‘I’m doomed/I’m fucked/ I lost’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience that the consequences are just ‘too great’ and ‘too vast’ to face as what I am as my mind, what I’ve imposed onto my physical body and as such extend such consequence to my physical reality as this world, wherein every problem that we see is the result of us not living-as physical beings that consider at all times what’s best for all, but have become mind-possessed bodies that only seek to generate good feelings, positive experiences at the expense of the world we consume, exploit and destroy in order to generate our personal heavens.

 

I realize that every single moment that I face consequence, it is not a point for me to become sad, go into self pity and self destructive behavior about it but instead use the opportunity to face, correct and align the relationship that I have neglected that has caused a physical consequence within me and my world – this is thus the pattern to  become aware of at all times: seeing this world and all its ‘flaws’ and ‘problems’ not as an indication only of ‘how fucked we all are’ and sink into depression, but instead make a deliberate physical decision to no longer be willing to accept and allow ourselves to be subsumed by self destructive and evasive behavior, because this would only pile up into the already piled-up mess that we’ve created in this world – we are here to stop and make a declaration of who we are willing to be and live as, which is the decision that won’t make us ‘feel good’ such as the rush experienced with any drug as a positive experience , but will generate physical, stable and sound solutions to generate an actual wellbeing for all living beings, where I am certain, no more addictions and self destruction will be sought, since we will all be equally aware of giving and doing what’s best for all in the realization of who we really are as Equals.

 

Self-Commitment Statements to come  –

Further support:

 

 

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Face Thy Demons – Great Support here:


268. Escaping from the Inner-Hell

 

The pattern unfolds the following way: one faces a point wherein Self Responsibility was neglected, wherein we didn’t measure the consequences of our thoughts, words and deeds and as such ‘all hell breaks lose’ within ourselves, because then we are faced with consequence, and we realize there is No way out from it this timeright?

And in this second guessing of having to inevitably face the point which implies realizing the neglected responsibility and walk a process of writing, self forgiveness and self corrective application, one decides that there is a ‘better way’/ alternative way to ‘cope’ with it – and that’s where some action and process to evade the consequence emerge: anything that can become a point to occupy our mind with, anything that can give us a sense of satisfaction, a feel good experience, a momentary resort, a reward after having to face such consequences – one seeks to immediately want to ‘get lost’ from it all for a moment, to just drop it all, leave everything and disappear.

 

Yes this is a mind pattern that leads to addiction – why? because the momentary high to evade responsibility becomes such that we would rather just remain in that ‘comfortable numbness’ wherein one is literally doing nothing other than finding various ways to avoid having to face the consequences, walk the correction and ‘face the music’ as they say. Once one is down to Earth from such temporary high, one seek for something else… and so it becomes quite a straining pattern because the more we resist to face the consequence, the more the guilt, remorse, shame, regret, fears, judgments, backchats accumulate, until we feed the entity so much that it becomes quite unbearable to handle, it is ‘alive’ in itself, because we have essentially fed it through our own participation in thoughts, emotions, feelings, actions/ inactions to not face the point. This is when we believe that it is simply ‘too late,’ we are doomed and essentially give up whatever we were doing, which is quite a pattern that we all go into: we hide in our caves instead of actually facing it, creating solutions and sorting out the point.

220. Drug Culture: Mad Society as a Lifestyle

If one is not self honest, this pattern turns into self-victimization and you end up blaming the world, parents, teachers, government, society, ‘the world’ and ‘how fucked everything is’ for our experience – but, what we haven’t realized is that it’s not about anyone or anything else but ourselves, really. We have seen how the environment and the lack of equal support Does contribute to addictive behaviors – however in the end, the ultimate say comes from ourselves: we are the ones that decide to either stand up or remain in such self-destructive behavior, which is essentially destroying ourselves due to fearing facing our own irresponsibility and negligence and actually place the cards on the table to see how we caused the problem and as such, how to walk the solution.

 

Within victimization, blame, regret, pity and a deliberate desire to ‘let go of the bad/ negative/ evil/ malevolent’ that we have fed within ourselves due to having neglected ourselves/ our reality,  we turn to love and become masters of light, consciousness and a so-called spirituality, we try and cover up our actual inner-demons to hide the actual reality that we realize exists within ourselves, but didn’t dare to face, and as such, hide in the opposite side behind positive thinking, love, spirituality, blessings and a general imagination that leads to this comforting fluffy paradise after death, wherein one rejoices in these custom-made heavens in order to ‘soften the blow’ of having to remain and keep living on this Earth, which is apparently and seemingly easier than actually being willing to see the truth of ourselves, and take responsibility for it, which certainly won’t be nice and pretty – however, it must be done no matter what.

The other option is completely going to absolute self-doom and gloom where we see no way out other than self-destructing, and that’s where drugs, alcohol and various other forms of self harm emerge – we can also have a mix of being a nice positive thinker and be addicted to some drug to enhance the experience, a positive mr. self destruct with new age backchat of ‘everything will be just fine’ while lighting up the next joint. You get the picture.

 

In all of this, we are only feeding more energy to that which we avoid looking at/ facing as ourselves. This ‘escapism’ becomes quite a difficult thing to do for a long time when one has already made the firm decision  to not fool oneself any longer and take responsibility for anything we face. This also implies that the nagging thought of Knowing that we are evading ourselves is simply unbearable, because we Know we cannot deceive ourselves. We complain about the world being one big Lie yet we still deceive ourselves by giving breath and time to that which we already Know is not supportive. That is not congruent and when one has decided to become an actual living being, there is no way other than facing the points, walking the solutions – the agony can only be prolonged for as long as one is willing to agonize through the constant thinking, waiting, hoping, tormenting ourselves and talking back and forth about ‘everything that is wrong’ and create our own storm in a glass of water. A general suggestion is to realize that waiting and hoping for something to clear our consequence is futile, hiding from it is futile, prolonging the confrontation only prolongs the unnecessary suffering – so, why not facing it right away?

 

Fear Dimension:

I will have to face the ugly truth of myself

 

Thought Dimension:

Just vanishing, everything disappearing, me being doing nothing at all

 

Backchat/ Internal Conversations:

– I rather just give up, there is no point in solving that

– It’s done and I fucked up

– I knew this would lead nowhere

– I just want to make it all stop

 

Imagination:

Negative imagination: having to spend a long time solving the problem/ situation

Positive imagination: numbing myself out any form of drug/ stimulant/ activity/ inactivity

 

Reactions:

-Dread, dullness, apathy, wanting to give up

 

Physical Dimension:

– Yawning, wanting to sleep, slouching, heavy eyes, tiredness

– Doing something compulsively like pulling out  my hair or cleaning something, going out to ‘get something’ that I don’t precisely need

 

Consequences:

– Wasting time, having to catch up while I regain my stability, missing out great opportunities of self-change due to giving into the energetic experience of ‘I’m doomed/I’m fucked/ I lost’

 

 

Next post we’ll walk these dimensions with Self Forgiveness, Self Corrective Statements and Self Commitments.

Further support:

DSC00352 (1)

Blogs:

 

Face Thy Demons – Great Support here:

2013 – The Future of Consciousness – When Thoughts intend Harm to another (Part 1) – Part 3
2013 – The Future of Consciousness – When Thoughts intend Harm to another (Part 2) – Part 4

 

And to understand how we ‘fall’ in our own doom from the greatest innate self-experiences lived as children:

Why your Weakest Points are your Greatest strength – Life Review

263. The Remedy to Stop Addictions

220. Drug Culture: Mad Society as a Lifestyle

 

Self Forgiveness, Self Corrective Statements and Self Commitments

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the thoughts of me being inherently flawed and incomplete and unfulfilled is in fact who I really am, and within this, seeking for a remedy and solution outside of myself through drugs, spirituality, money, sex, entertainment, sports, media and everything that I have participated in in order to not have to investigate How I have created such self-experience through my own participation in my own mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find it difficult to wake up every morning and start a new day, because I have allowed myself to Think as the memory that I have been and become, instead of breathing and being as unconditional as the physical body that I am that does not take a moment to ‘think’ about its existence, but is unconditional in self movement – I realize that I have allowed myself to be tormented by my own self-belief of there being something ‘wrong’ with me and starting thinking that this life is ‘not worth living/ I am not worth living’ and within such thinking processes, I lead myself to seek for a quick fix that will alleviate this inherent self-loathing, self deprecation that leads to self destruction that is sought through anything that can give me a sense of pleasure and enjoyment, even if it is for a moment – thus

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resort to drugs and any other activity that I have turned into a habit as a way to avoid seeing myself as my own mind, which is the actual origin of this instability and dissatisfaction that I experience myself as and that I try to escape from, without realizing that I cannot escape from myself through using drugs or any other means to avoid looking at my self responsibility within creating such self-loathing thinking, and instead I see that I must investigate my own thinking, my own feelings and emotions as the origin and source of this dread that I experience as ‘my life.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give my attention, my focus and produce energy to all thoughts linked to a dissatisfaction with life, believing that I can’t go on anymore/ this is just too much/ what’s the point in living? – and within these thoughts allowed myself to go seeking for a way out through drugs, spirituality, sex, consumerism and anything that I have linked to a positive experience in life, without realizing that such habits are only ways to further separate myself from looking at myself as the origin and cause of such instability at a mind level.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to really look within myself how is it that I can change my way of being from one moment to another based on the stimuli that I get from the outside world, and within this, not realizing that if I can change myself in one single moment to experience myself in either a positive or a negative experience, this must mean that these aberrant thoughts of self-deprecation and unfulfillment are equally stoppable and preventable, as I realize that it is only through my own participation that I have given attention to become them, embody such instability through fueling such thoughts as who I am, instead of for a moment breathing and stopping to see What am I actually giving my attention to? What am I actually feeding here? Is this really who I want to direct myself to be thinking as? And within this, assist and support me to stand outside the usual self-deprecation that I have experienced as ‘my life’ and ‘who I am,’ which I understand is able to be stopped, self forgiven and corrected as I realize that who I am as a physical being does not exist as self-destructive thoughts, but it is only me as the mind as who I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become that I have given my breaths away to these experiences, without having any idea of how my mind operates in my physical body.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think about my experience at a mind level through thoughts, emotions and feelings, instead of using my mind to instead place my attention and focus on the physical reality that I embody as  my physical body, and within this observe the common sense of what unconditional living is: unconditional movement to function properly as a living-system that maintains the actual life that we are as living beings.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to instead of looking back at my own thoughts and understand ‘who I am’ and have become through understanding my thoughts and creating a point of self-correction as my mind/ as my thoughts, I have tried to quiet my mind/ stop thinking through using drugs, sex, alcohol, media, books, entertainment, friends, any and all things and people that I have in fact used and abused in order to ‘get lost’ within myself, without realizing that in this condition, I am not only abusing others but myself as my physical body because I had not seen, realized and understood how it is that the mind can only function through consuming the physical substance of our physical body, which means that every time that we think, become emotional or participate in positive feelings, I am in fact not living but only fueling a system within and as myself as the mind that I have not yet aligned myself to in order to be the directive principle of what I decide to participate in, realizing that the actual expression of myself has never existed and that all that I have been is a mind consciousness system of patterns that I have believed is ‘who I am’ and are immovable, unchangeable – thus

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within these thoughts of giving up my ability to change, I have resorted to mitigate the problem and try and hide from my own mind through using drugs, alcohol, sex, any form of entertainment that instead of it being a self directive decision to entertain myself, experience sex and a genuine self-expression as a physical being in this world, I have made of everything just a drug that I can hook myself to in order to ‘cope with reality,’ instead of realizing how coping with reality is a sign of me not looking at myself as the origin and cause of such problem and distress in the first place.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that within this inherent instability as the mind, we have equally created a world that is equally unstable due to us never having had the considering toward Life as who we are – and in this, becoming actual zombies that accept things ‘as they are’ without  a question, seeking for a meaning and purpose in life outside of yourself, instead of actually understanding the responsibility that we hold toward ourselves as our physical body, our mind, every single thought, every single emotion, every single feeling – there is nothing and no one to blame for how this world has turned out to be this way, it is our collective participation and within that,

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the ‘state of the world’ as it being ‘fucked up’ and use this excuse to numb myself from myself and separate myself from being self-aware through using drugs, medication, sex, alcohol, entertainment and my own mind of imagination, feelings, emotions that I have believed is in fact who I am – without realizing that in this attempt to ‘escape’ from this ‘fucked up world,’ I am becoming an equal co-creator of ubiquitous negligence that we have participated in within our reality.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek for a meaning to life through using relationships, drugs, entertainment and my own mind to separate myself from the reality that I have inf act allowed myself to participate in without being aware of what my relationship to everyone and everything in fact is, and how with me wanting to ‘escape from reality’ and take drugs to solve the problem, I am in fact only adding up to the social problem we’re living in, wherein life has never been lived but only abused and as such, I realize that through my self-abuse I never contributed to any living expression thus

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to complain about reality, complain about the system, complain about nothing in this world working outside of myself, but never pondering how it is that I am contributing through my own thoughts and emotions for it to not work work/ function properly, which is the key factor that I realize will enable me to realize one thing: If I am in fact willing to assist and support myself and stand as a sound being that can take my life in my hands and will myself to live, I can in fact do so, I can dedicate my life to get to know me, how I created this flawed self experience and such, take my life on my hands and walk a process of self-correction through Self-Forgiveness, Self Honesty, Self Corrective Application wherein I can in fact become a self-responsible being that stops seeking for a remedy, a solution, a way Out of myself, as I see and realize that using drugs or any other means of escaping from myself only aggravates my self-experience and can lead to an inevitable premature death – because death is certain anyways for all beings – however, I would have to ask myself: am I ready to die and have the certainty that I have done everything that is available in my reality to support myself?

 

I realize that nothing and no one will change me, nothing and no one will provide a solution other than the one that I direct myself to live – and this is how through my own words, through the very same tools I have used to define myself as thoughts, feelings and emotions, I can become a self directive being that understands how it s that I am perfectly able to stop participation in all thoughts that I see are not self supportive, stop participation in all emotions that I realize lead me nowhere but further down the rabbit hole and also stop seeking the opposite positive experience, as I realize that happiness is a mental place that is not sustainable as a living-actuality of who I am as the physical body.

 

I realize that self-stability is able to be lived as a will and decision to support myself to be and become this physical stability, equal to the one we are breathing in every single moment that we are here on this Earth. It will take time – yes – but the decision is able to be made and lived in every momenta s a constant decision of who I will myself to be.

 

I realize that  I have spent a lot of time entertaining myself with my thoughts that I got lost within it all and as such, I have to deliberately direct myself to stop any craving for a positive experience or negative experience that I have become so used to in my mind, take my life on my hands, and begin footing myself as breath in every moment, writing myself out to see who I am in one day as my mind , as I realize that every solution I thought was  adequate to myself as my mind has only become more consequential without an actual solution but further dependencies on people, places, drugs, substances in order to get a temporary high, which is unsustainable and will only lead me to self destruction.

 

I realize that I don’t require to buy, consume or seek for remedies outside of myself, nor do I requite to seek for a meaning or purpose to life outside of myself as an energetic experience, but that I am already here, complete and whole as myself and that any perceived problem is only existent at the level of my own mind that is in fact the nature that I have accepted and allowed myself to become and proven to be consequential and conflictive to myself, it does not support myself as life nor does it support any other living being –

 

I commit myself to live the realization that it is common sense to assist and support myself to decide to walk a process to support myself to Live and as such, to become a living example of what it is possible to be and become when existing as breathing, living earthlings that start looking outside of our tunnel vision of self deprecation and start considering the life that we have blinded ourselves from through our own participation in the mind, instead of being here as the physical. 

 

I commit myself to develop self worth, self respect and integrity as a human being that is no longer willing to support any form of self abuse which is stopping participation in all thoughts, feelings and emotions that we have become as our mind, and in fact be willing to give myself another opportunity to live and become the expression of life that I always wanted to be and become, which I realize can only be real if every single being is equally supported to live in dignity and care for one another.

 

I realize that the physical support I am able to give to myself is existent here as myself, as the physical body that I commit myself to feed properly, to exercise, to breathe and become aware of every breath which is a constant self-directive attention that I commit to give to myself, as I have seen, realized and understood how it is in fact possible to stop the parasitical ego from becoming an unfulfilled leech that I am always feeding through my participation in thoughts, emotions and feelings that I am in fact able to stop.

 

I commit myself to establish the Equal Money System as the political and economical system that will ensure that no more beings seek a way out of the world, our minds, our own self-experience because of not having a proper education, living support as food, water, shelter, comfort and a living right to express and enjoy what is here within the basic foundation of supporting ourselves as equals/ in equality, to live, to be self directive and honor ourselves as the life that we have embodied  and never again neglect life as we have done thus far.

 

“There is One Way Out, which is Death. Or there is Another Way out, which is Self Forgiveness and Self Honesty. One of the Two are your Future.

The One Allows you the Gift of Life, as Part of this Physical World. The Other means: you have to Start All Over again, because you didn’t have Enough Integrity and Willpower to Care about Life, and your Self-Interest Won the Day.
WHO will you Be? Your Imagination? Or Real?
You Decide…for as long as you can. But, the Line is Drawn. And, if you Fail at this – you Will be withdrawn from Earth.” –Bernard Poolman 

 

Choose Life

Further support:

 

 

Can you bleed like me

 

Blogs:

 

Interviews:


249. Can’t stop the Cookie from Crumbling

 

Consequence is all around us. Creating an experience about what we’ve done and become only complicates everything. I noticed myself assessing my reality and ‘the world’ when coming back to ‘my origins’ and I realized to what extent I have lived in a bubble, no matter where you are, as long as you have money you are protected and separated from Reality. Everywhere it is like a scenario put up to attract money and become a winner, everywhere we all know we lie to each other to get to such positions and such lies and competition are some of the basic components that reveal what we have become.

I discussed many things about our current society and reality, but it all just ends in a hoping-experience stemming from others, that somehow a thing or two will ‘ring a bell’ to make a change, which would still exist as a self-limitation, because every one that is willing to be part of the change, will initiate it themselves.

Continuing from:

The real problems we have neglected in the name of entertaining ourselves so gossip about, it is our responsibility as every word that we speak without awareness of the consequence only adds up to the already existent pile of ‘meaningless lives’ that we have lived, and it’s not to bring anything or anyone down, but it’s plain to see that if the if the Human Race was to be wiped out of the face of the Earth, a small amount of beings would truly be missed, and that says much about who we are and what we have become.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever stop desiring to keep going and be alive, without having ever really lived and never having given myself the opportunity to test out what it is to Live the Words I speak and as such, become the principle and directive force as myself, as an individual that recognizes one’s own ability to stand up and live.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever seek for ‘an end’ to myself or humanity as a whole, not realizing that in such situation there would be no self-realization of why we became the very reverse of life incarnated and as such, miss out the entire point of living this life of consequence.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see how easy it is to get ‘lost’ in the bright and warm colors in reality as all the comfort and security that money is able to provide, wherein one is able to be the one that spares some ‘change’ to a kid selling chewing gum during traffic lights, most likely sent by parents that know a kid triggers more compassion than adults will ever do. I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become ‘used to’ this and forget the very initial shock I got from witnessing this reality, which is clearly a blatant demonstration of how we have made things just normal and go without a care about anything/ anyone else but ourselves.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to never really look at all the ‘items’ I possess and disregard its origin and source and as I went reading the tags, realize that having more than enough of what we really use is accumulation, is capitalism, is what we were taught to believe in, and that I pay for the slave labor that creates my clothes and shoes alike. And within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that every single thing that I have paid for and that I have used, contains a form of abuse, of blood and death and this is no exaggeration, since we just have to investigate the lives of the millions working in factories and sweatshops, producing the most clothes in an astounding record of time– and we are so clever to buy that to an irrational price – as all prices are – wrap it up with nice paper  and gift it as a demon-stration of love and appreciation – thus

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see how easy it is to justify the abuse of what creates our ‘ownerships’ just because of having paid for it, which makes us all equally responsible for any unfair labor that has been used as the production of our ‘goods’ and services that we simply take for granted, unaware of the lives of those in the positions of extracting, manufacturing, producing and distributing these goods and services, that are the actual ones that do all the labor but instead, we buy brands, we buy names, we buy prices and as such, enslave each other to become the very fuel to a system of abuse, by simply neglecting how everything that we buy and consume was created.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to neglect our living-beingness as human beings wherein we just accepted ourselves to seek for a reason and purpose to live and in this, diverting our attention to anything and everyone else but life in itself as who we are, and this is a grave mistake that we have all co-created, and we have to all face with, as that is currently our equality: having to go through equal consequence so that we learn from first hand what we have done and not done onto ourselves.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to exist in such a self interest toward myself and the world wherein I continually looked for ‘myself’ outside of myself and believing life was about a meaning – and in this, become oblivious to everything and everyone that was working in a continuous manner in order to sustain the world-system we are living in now, wherein only a few humans are able to have the amount of time to ‘ponder’ about reality while missing out the real-problems and real-physical struggle on Earth.

 

When and as I see myself hitting the ‘low’ and ‘depressed’ state about how humanity exists at the moment – I stop and I breathe as many times as necessary to ensure I am back HERE on Earth and not going into an experience about the world – and realize one thing: me being/ becoming depressed about the current state of humanity and life on Earth makes no difference or stands as No Solution to what I see and realize must be done and live d in this reality – thus in essence, emotions and feelings are but a distraction to what is Really going on here as physical processes and equations that are being blatantly disregarded.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rejoice letting another know about the actuality of the problems in this world as a means to open up their eyes, without realizing that there is no need to convince another from realizing/ doing something that will support each other as equals – self realization implies sharing without wanting others to do the same, but living as the example of what it is to genuinely care and that’s where real responsibility resides in.

 

I commit myself to bring myself back here to Earth as I share myself and anything that I’ve become ware of that is leading to any of the current consequences in our Reality and instead share how the basic point is to stop participating in any diversion from self-application if one is absolutely decided to face the consequences and be willing to get back to honor ourselves and each other through facing the consequence.

 

I commit myself to stop making an experience of consequence and also when and as I communicate about it, as I realize there is quite a journey to walk here as consequence in order to become aware of what we’ve become in its totality and that wanting to prevent this from happening or altering anyone’s awareness about it in an incisive manner can only lead to further creation of consequence. Thus I stand as a stable and equanimous person that continues to realize the extent in which we have neglected ourselves, all life that we have used and abused to construct our ‘ideal lifestyles,’ growing consequence without an awareness of how everything we thought we could just escape from ever having to face again is always here as manifested consequence, as our result of any parasitical relationship of abuse.

 

There are things we cannot just assume are not ‘here’ any longer, and as such, I follow through with the  path we all must walk to realize ourselves and our responsibility to every single word and action we decide in every moment that we are here and also show how money becomes a comfortable veil to not face what others as ourselves are facing every single day, which cannot go ‘unnoticed’ any longer.

This is not evil, this is not bad, this is being real and self-honest: there is no way out of this that won’t involve having to give up the self that can continue avoiding facing consequence and responsibility for what we’ve become. Thus, I take a breath and continue walking as there is certainly nothing else to do and live in this world but the solution to all that which we have tried many times to escape from.

 

We might not be able to stop what has been set in motion in unawareness and gone to a full extent of consequence to depletion, death and permanent damage on Earth, but we can begin living lives wherein we realize that prevention is the best cure, and as such seeing how there is a lot we have missed in our reality due to having honored the mind and not the physical, and that the time has come to face what we’ve abused in the name of self interest.

 

To be continued

 

 

 

 

Blogs:

 

An Interview you can’t miss

One of the keys to our reality revealed here: 


210. Not Having Money Makes You Sad– but Why?

 

One thing is certain, when one is educated to follow through a particular ‘lifestyle’ based on having money and seeking for More money, even if taking an apparent dissident position do we in fact let go of such benefits that we’ve been used to living in. This is based on how as human beings we seek for the point of happiness in our lives in various ways, influencing our decisions in life only to realize after a while how we’ve made decisions based on Energy and Experience instead of physically informing ourselves of the potential outflows, projecting a possible result and outcome of our decisions if living our desires, wants and needs out. Unfortunately, this world is based on the immature consciousness decision-making aspect of ‘follow your dreams’ and within that, always constantly seek for the happiness point, the ‘high’ on life. which is then obviously seeking to get the most of a certain moment in order to feel better about ourselves. As we can see, there is no All as Equals considered in these equations or schemes, it is just a personal desire to fulfill that which we were taught to fulfill: happiness, joy, satisfaction, escalating social status, getting the most influential friendships in order to succeed in this world.

 

I have shared before how my days of having ‘bad times’ when I was a child – around 8-10 years old approximately –  we simply had not as much money as before or have enough to go out to eat our out to ‘buy stuff’ and the regular ‘happy times’ that I had identified with ‘having money.’ To me such austerity measures meant sadness and gloomy times. I guess that part of my life when my father had severe financial troubles was the one that ‘marked’ me the most while growing up, having the uncertainty of for example, suddenly being able to lose it all, lose the house that we own, barely making it through every week, etc. And that’s also the time when I questioned ‘god’ the most and the spiritualist support we were supposed to have, like ‘why’ did this fraud happened to him? Why are we being tested? What is the purpose of being through this turmoil? What type of ‘karma’ are we paying here? And the same went on as there was a great robbery in his business which was like just another bomb being dropped in our financial stability. So, all that worry and concern about money affected me quite a Lot, I mean, that’s probably the time wherein I strived the most to ‘be like others’ and comparing my social status to other people’s and it was coincidentally enough around puberty – it was until my early teens that we got to a point of ‘betterment’ and things stabilized.

 

However, the questions remained: why did we had such unfortunate times? And this must be understood within the context of me simply losing the aspects that I had defined as part of the ‘good things’ in my life, like being able to go out and eat in a restaurant, being able to buy cd’s  or clothes – but most importantly the general experience of ‘being alright’ which certainly was non existent as things turned quite gloomy at home for not having much money, having a constant uncertainty about our future, our properties, having legal problems as well as a desire for revenge toward the person that committed the fraud. Man, that’s where I learned how human beings can really justify evil talk because of someone doing something to you. Obviously I won’t disclose the words I would hear, but all I can say is that such desire for revenge was covered up with a sense of justice. I could not fathom it and even if I wanted to support my family I could still not experience that desire for revenge for whatever were the reasons that man committed the fraud against my father. I learned then about debts and having debtors, lol till this day I remember the names of the people because my father would mention them a lot and cursing while speaking about them of course, I mean yes they owed him lots of money and they all lead us through a financial turmoil, and it was as if ‘our happiness’ then had been stolen from us by ‘them’ – although as everything, it takes two to tango:  there were also measures not taken from my father’s side to avoid such situations. The problem back then was: he trusted people easily. Bad Idea.

 

Now, why am I exposing all of this – to see how everything that I have defined as bad, negative, awful, stressful and general gloomy time of my life was linked to Not having money – or not having ‘as much as’ we used to or perceived that we had before that, and how seeing my father in a constant state of worry and concern lead me to mimic his experience. I became quite uncertain myself, like ‘insecure’ as the entity of ‘money as power’ was not ‘here’ as part of my personality, as the overtly joyful kid that I was. I became more quiet and isolated at that time as well. So, I was quite aware of how much the lack of money can affect you in your ‘beingness’ to the point of just feeling like some scum of the Earth. Oh dear, I remember, this was the time wherein I created a massive self-rejection and wanting to ‘not exist any longer’ because that would mean ‘less expenses’ for my father – I had completely forgotten about this, I wanted to at some point even write it out like deciding that only 4 people were enough in my family and that I simply did not have to exist as my school’s tuition fee would then be saved as well as my food and everything else. These were actual thoughts I had for quite a while, and never really told anyone about it either. I was quite a young child and ‘wanting to help’ – though obviously I was only really victimizing myself further instead of seeing any real form of solution.

 

From then on, I became the ‘austerity measures’ character if you will, always seeking the lowest prices, creating the ‘least expenses’ for my own survival and generally belittling myself to the ‘I’m not worthy of this’ type of experience, which later on became part of myself as a personality in itself, how fucked up is that? This can be the origin of it as well as some physical comparison/ image presentation comparison points/ aspects that I began becoming more aware of as I went growing up, which were blatantly quite obvious to me: rich people were the beautiful people. All of this signifies one thing: money and looks determined how I would FEEL and how I would See myself. It became quite obvious that not having much money and not having what I perceived as perfect looks meant being ‘less than’ and all the inferiority complex kicked in – hence isolation, hence believing that I was just a nuisance and an equivalent to ‘money expenses’ only, a burden, hence my desires to just not be such a nuisance any longer, I really would over-react and be quite extremist in my self-experience which is part of that which is in the past but still here, as I would see a similar character emerging in a place wherein I was being supported and becoming extremely anguished and stressed out when knowing there were financial problems, making the problem the totality of ‘who I am’ and going into this downward spiral almost automatically, not wanting to be a burden , going into sadness due to how I defined my ‘beingness’ according to having money.

So, this is for now the background that I have laid out as part of the counter act to the elitist character which is: suddenly losing all these benefits and going into a ‘recession’ at home, as well as the crisis that I became very aware of in the second half of the 90’s, not only at home but generally in our country, getting to see people that apparently had even gotten cancer out of not being able to pay for their houses and realizing to what extent money defined our ‘well being’ in all ways, fucked up beyond measure. And so, I will continue with Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Application in the Following posts.

Support the Equal Money System so that any form of ‘ups’ and ‘downs’ in our reality are not an aspect that defines  who we are and how we live and experience ourselves, but becomes a living certainty of being supported from birth to death until we Die. That’s the law of our being that must be implemented in this world.  No more survival mode  – Support Life in Equality.

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The End is No Quick-Fix

Part of the reasons why I got to Desteni was because I had been driven by a desire to know of the occult, the prophecies and obviously the infamous 2012 of which I created a great belief and would even dare to claim it was a ‘certainty’ that the world would end by 2012 – lol this I’d speak vehemently about in school, high school to be precise and in English class.

So, this drive for spirituality, seeking for truths and the entire 2012 myth were the points that got me to Desteni. The single idea of ‘ending it all’ was something I had thought about from an early age – seeing ‘no other way out’ to this reality other than ‘destroying it all’/ ‘giving an end to this world’.

Well, it turns out that: there is No Quick-Fix such as ending the world and just having it all be ‘washed away’ – that’s also ‘hoping’ and not actually realizing that it is only through our own limitations that we’d like to ‘cease to exist’ without having even Lived For Real – now I see it sounds ludicrous because yes in a way what must end is our lives as preprogrammed systems yet instead of just having it all be destroyed, we’ve got to now direct ourselves to Live and create solutions for this world wherein all living beings can coexist.

So, here I am exposing how it is that within the depths of myself I’d still be hoping that there would be a quick fix such as life on Earth just suddenly ending. When looking at the reasons why I’d want this it becomes obvious that wanting to avoid the responsibility of cleaning up the mess comes up, avoiding having to walk in actual time-space this entire lifetime and others to co-create proper living conditions on Earth. In terms of facing myself it would also become easier not having to continue ‘overcoming myself’ as a human being.

This post was mostly triggered by reading the following post at the forum http://desteni.co.za/intro-forum/viewtopic.php?f=24&p=5188#p5188by Sunette upon an article placed there talking about the cataclysms and all the ‘signs of the times’ about the end of the world:

“This, is the delusion of ‘believing in hope’ – that, human-beings will ‘miraculously’ transition into ‘higher planes of existence’ from the manifested-consequence as accepted and allowed abuse we’ve done-onto ourselves, each-other the physical as earth, the animal-kingdom.
No – there is and will be No Mercy – we’ll either destroy ourselves together, equal and one with the mess of ourselves and the world, or we’ll practically stand-up, take self-responsibility, stop and change through actual physical-living. The ‘window of opportunity’ for each one is BREATH, HERE in every moment – to change self, to change the world. Participate in the Forums of pushing self to see beyond the delusions/veils of the mind – have the guts to face the REALITY of the situation.
We’re not going to ‘transition’ out of this fuck-up – we’re going to have to face it directly in the physical and change ourselves as it; as this is the creation we have in fact become as ourselves and so the ‘only way out’ – is changing it as ourselves; through practical-directive living.
Prepare yourself – get the tools; live the tools – change self to become a living example of the dignity, integrity and respect we’re capable and able of living towards ourselves, others and the earth – changing self, to change the world.”

This is such a cool message which leaves no window open for opportunists to take a hold of ‘wishing and hoping’ that some alien invasion will come to earth or that some meteorite will hit the Earth killing everyone, or all prophecies coming true and the world ending next year – lol.

Anyways the point is very clear: We’ve got to kill all hope, to stop all delusions possible and to actually have the guts to face the totality of ourselves here – there is no way out. This is probably the message that struck me the most when encountering Desteni and the reason how I got myself writing and applying Self Forgiveness and actually taking self responsibility because I saw how it was in fact so that it would be yet another ‘miracle’ if this world could just end like that – it doesn’t matter if it’s ‘possible’ or not – what matter is that I make sure I don’t leave any possible back doors as a lingering thought of wanting to destroy everything, wanting the world to end as that would mean the party is over and there is no mess left. No.

We are the current mess in this world, we’ve created it so: we take responsibility for it. This is what makes the entire Desteni message so unappealing because part of our infamous human nature is to glide away whenever self-responsibility is required, whenever actual self-confrontation is existent, whenever the truth of what we’ve become starts pouring out through our pores.

While I was at the farm I got to talk to AA and I learned very cool points from her as she’s walked the entire point of ‘wanting to destroy it all’ wherein I realized that we simply have to breathe and walk through that point every time it comes up, it’s not just something that is ‘forever gone’ – it requires constant direction as self to not give into such patterns of wanting to give-up, being ‘fed up with this world’, ‘seeing no solution’, ‘seeing no point in continuing’ – that’s also a point I keep quite present as something I learned at the farm through another’s experience: be the point of your existence whenever you see ‘no point’. This means that we often miss ourselves within it all, we take ourselves for a ride through an overwhelmingness of thoughts, emotions, feelings which is ourselves existing as an experience instead of stopping, focusing here on breath and realizing that the only way to become so ‘uncomfortable’ in our own skin is through all the mind-processes behind such experience/ as the experience itself.

The physical is just here, the physical doesn’t really go wandering about ‘the end of the world’ or ‘self-destructing’ – nope. This single point shows/reveals to what extent we’re all possessed whenever we flirt with such thoughts in our heads.

So – living in a society wherein a large percentage of the population goes day by day living under the effect of a drug to ‘make it till the next day’ implies how there is quite a lot to realize in terms of how we function as the mind, how we are not all those experiences that we create within the mind and thus how it is that if we are really willing to be the change in the world, we require to first straight up our conception of the world and ourselves in it.

Seeing reality for what it is might not be the greatest thing, yet it is within daring to see that one actually opens eyes to that which we’ve missed for such a long time, getting ourselves to the current detrimental position we are as humanity, affecting all life around us.

Seykingumu

It would only be an act of cowardice wanting to end it all – let’s not even go into the self-righteous act of ‘ending you life’ here – yet we’re still waging wars against each other as individuals and nations/ races. – yet we’re still living under the effects of drugs, alcohol, excess or lack of food and any other physical abuse that we could drive ourselves to endure for the sake of being +1 to the demonstration that we’ve got to change our ways as humanity or we’ll inevitably then self-destruct which is then NOT about ‘the world coming to an end’ but ourselves simply walking and facing the manifested consequences of what we’ve allowed to be created by our own hand.

This is where and how Self Forgiveness becomes the greatest gift we can give ourselves, even if at some point we could think ‘we don’t deserve it’ – how else would we give ourselves this second chance if it’s not through our own recognition of us being capable of actually directing all our self-destructive effort into a constructive one?  ‘Not deserving it’ would be only the consideration of ego and not of redeeming all life that we’ve harmed and enslaved in this world.

There will be no aliens, no masters, no blue beams, no prophecies, no second comings other than Equality in this world that can be created and placed by each human being that realizes and understands this is the only way to go if we are willing to actually see that we’ve been limiting ourselves by our own beliefs – mostly linked to money/ the entire current monetary system –  so in essence we’ve got to wake up from our self-created nightmare and start working with what’s HERE as who we are – equal and one. We haven’t yet LIVED and we haven’t yet even pulled-out our fullest potential so, there’s a long way to go yet at last we’ve got a certain outcome – Life in Equality within the context of it all being Best for All.

The more that join in this process, the merrier. Give yourself the chance.

“We can if we dare actually realize that there is that which we can live within space time within a construct of what’s best for all that will have astounding experiences of overwhelming excellence, maybe one should consider that as well” Bernard Poolman

Quote taken from the recording that is suggested to hear:

Too-much-ness — Others call it Overwhelmingness

Thanks for reading and Being Here


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