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195. The Righteousness of Evil

 

“And I questioned myself many times why it was like me wanting to simply ‘let go’ of such nagging experience, without realizing that it won’t just be ‘gone’ by me kind of only ‘thinking’ about it and coming to realizations like ‘oh yes, it’s the evil in me’ and turn around and keep going with my ‘life.’ Of course it cannot work like that, that’s precisely how we have lived as humanity, just wanting to brush-off, neglect and hide the actuality of our inner experience.”

 

Continuation to 194. Let the Mask Fall!

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to every time that I would get into an experience of discomfort and general uneasiness within myself to not further investigate within me what was it that I was experiencing, but only brush it aside, believe it would ‘go away’ with time, thinking that I simply had to just breathe through it and not look as myself, my own creation, my own reflection– which is another way of simply trying to cover up my actual experience by creating another ‘state of being,’ which would compensate the inherent inner experience of there being something ‘nagging’ within me that I apparently could not ‘define,’ with a positive experience as righteousness.

I realize that I did this without realizing that it was in fact the beingness of myself that was not being looked at in fact as the actual thoughts, backchat and internal conversations that I would righteously believe were ‘right’ and a proper ‘assessment’ of reality, never ever considering how everything that I was thinking and creating an experience about, was never about the environment but it was always about myself only.

 

When and as I see myself going into this ‘nagging/ discomfort’ within myself in my every day living – no matter where or with whom – I stop and I breathe – I realize that there is Something going on that Must Not be just ignored, as it is actually an indication that I’ve been thinking about something and not wanting to look at it, as that would mean actually facing the reality of myself as the thoughts, ideas, projections that I usually participate in, but that I had righteously believed is ‘proper’ and ‘acceptable’ for me to just ‘let be’ and continue going. I realize that All thoughts, All backchat, All experience that I might initially see as ‘indefinable’ actually has a beginning/ a starting point Within/ As Me that I must work with within myself to actually face the reality that I’ve become, instead of wanting to brush it off/ leave it for later and believe it is Not-important, while it is in fact in those seemingly ‘unimportant moments’ that the key to get to know the exact detail of myself really resides in.

 

I commit myself to stop brushing aside, leaving for later the immediate self-investigation through writing, self forgiveness, self corrective application about an inner experience that I have generally defined as ‘nagging/ bothering’ which has remained undefined due to me not having deliberately worked with such experiences as an active part of my process out of Fearing seeing the reality of myself, but only believe that it will go away eventually by simply ‘not participating’ – I realize that One cannot just ‘not participate’ in it and believe it will go away, but see that if it is Here and coming up within me as an energetic experience – no matter how slight it may be – it is still indicating a point that I have to look at.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately diminish the actual inner experience that I termed as just ‘undefined/ bothering/ nagging’ experience as this ‘something’ that would eventually go a way and within this diminishment, creating further separation to see myself As that experience, because of the fear of looking at myself As such thoughts, experiences and assessments, without realizing how it is time to start digging into the ‘hidden corridors and dark places’ as I was suggested to do years ago in order to no longer be bound to a barrier that I’ve created toward what I see within myself and what I see ‘toward others’ as separate from me. Thus it is to realize that everything that I have held as a limitation toward Life in Equality as Evil, as the reverse of life – which includes morals, beliefs, ideas, preferences, judgments, backchat toward ‘others’ and reality as a whole – is what I have to take back to self, in order to stop projecting a point of separation through an assessment in my mind instead of taking responsibility for myself As it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an identity of ‘righteousness’ within my mind assessments wherein within allowing such experiences, backchat and ‘views’ upon reality became a way to also ‘slip in’ points of personality and the self religion that are the threads that are still binding me to that single aspect of myself that is not yet standing as an equal and one part that I have walked through a process of self forgiveness and self corrective application – thus in essence, still keeping some ‘Evil’ as the reverse of life for the benefit of who I am as the mind, leaving it ‘untouched’ as if it had to be ‘there’ for the benefit of my own self-believed righteousness that cannot obviously make sense other than keeping me bound to a limited existence as the mind only and not being willing to stand in the face of the ‘opposite’ as myself as well.

 

When and as I see myself becoming righteous about what I am thinking and experiencing and believing that I can just ‘let it be’ for the moment and only later on end up forgetting it, I stop and I breathe. I realize that the specificity with which I have to become aware of myself is now requiring me to not just ‘leave things for later/ aside’ whenever the least energetic experience is Here as an indication that there is a point to work with, which will be mostly regarding something that is still an aspect I have not dared to look within myself, because of having lived a life of constantly projecting/ assessing/ analyzing others without seeing how it all was in fact about myself.

 

I realize the nagging experience has been going through quick processes of assessing the moment as people, places, events, situation wherein I quickly ‘make up my mind’ about who I am within such experiences/ moments and within that, not allowing me to see that everything that I have in fact assessed is only revealing me to myself, as it cannot be ‘how things are’ when getting an experience out of it – thus it is to not look at it as separate from me, as this is the grave mistake that I’ve made and lived as the evil wherein I had washed my hands from ‘assessing’ reality, while neglecting the fact that I have to work with the point myself in order to then be aware of ‘who I am’ as such point, walk the correction and as such, be able to support myself and others equally not from the vantage point of simply judging, but identifying who am I within this assessment, what is my experience, walk the correction so that I can stand clear and self directive instead of reacting to my own suppressed patterns and projecting it onto others/ reality.

 

I realize that the most effective way to walk this process is always taking the points back to self in order to see if there is any experience coming up and within this, being willing to face Within Me that which I thought, believed or consider ‘does not exist in me,’ which is a defense mechanism of the mind in order to remain in a righteous position about myself in reality, which can only exist as ego.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in this prefabricated/ default position of being ‘good/ right’ and always having the ‘right assessment’ over myself and reality wherein anything/ anyone that may contradict so would be assessed as them speaking of their own weakness, without realizing that such weakness and assessment to ‘win over’ the situation is in fact the aspects that stand as the evil that do not allow ourselves to get to an equal agreement of how to proceed/ work as equals in order to coexist within principles that are best for all, instead of creating further conflict and hidden judgment and accumulation of experiences Toward other beings, simply because of not allowing ourselves to let go of the righteousness that is indicating the ego of the mind of ‘always being right’ as opposed to walking in humbleness which means being willing to face ourselves as the actual evil-assessment/ backchat/ thoughts toward an event, person/ situation to in fact see what it is that we are still playing out as a character that always wants to win/ be right / get the most out of a situation, which is always the aspect that leads to an unequal result.

 

When and as I see myself being righteous about a position without taking the necessary moment to bring the point back to myself, place myself in the shoes of the person/ situation, realize who I am within it and how I can direct it to an equal and one outcome that will always result in what’s best for all.

 

I commit myself to realize that whenever I am making an assessment of my reality is an actual mirror of myself and what I am existing as, and as such, if this assessment contains an energetic experience/ possession about something or someone, it is indicating that I am not yet standing clear as one and equal to the point, but that I require to first look at myself as such assessment, walk the necessary self forgiveness in order to realize that the experience is not about the being/ situation/ event in itself, but it’s actually myself and an indication that I require to take responsibility for my reaction/ experience before allowing myself to make a decision on how to direct myself. Within this is to ensure that I take the necessary moment/ time for this, instead of wanting to immediately come up with a solution that is also part of the ego-rushing desire to do things right away/ immediately which leads to further time loops is there is not an ability yet to see directly in an equal and one consideration of the situation/ people/ event.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in a constant denial of these ‘assessments’ made toward other beings being in fact only about myself and within this, believing that I had nothing to ‘do about it’ because it was apparently ‘not me’ – however, it is actually an indication of the self-righteousness that exist toward our identification with our thoughts/ experiences having a ‘right to exist’ instead of realizing that as long as I am taking a position that is only benefitting my own deliberate neglect to who I am as my mind, I am in fact not standing equal and one to my reality/ environment and require to take the point back to self, to ensure that I am actually seeing Myself first, correcting me first instead of immediately projecting it onto others to not do the process of self-correction myself, which is rather foolish when looking at it as is.

 

When and as I see myself denying seeing myself within every single thought and experience that I have projected onto others – I stop and I breathe – I realize that who I have become is nothing else but the accumulation of these thoughts and experiences that I have projected onto others in means of defending myself as my own mind from realizing that I am in fact all of which I think about ‘others’/ an external point and reality. Thus

 

I commit myself to see how as long as there are points that I am not immediately taking back to self to walk the process of self correction, the nagging experience will continue as it is the accumulation of me having brushed aside/ left for later/ deliberately neglected moments where the actual key to realizing who I am as the person/ environment/ situation exists as myself – this is within the understanding that as long as I hold a right/ wrong and good/bad position toward another, I am still reflecting the limited version of myself that is not yet fully standing equal and one as everything and everyone, no matter how ‘harsh’ or how ‘bad’ or how ‘evil’ it may seem, as it is precisely the harsh, evil, bad, negative, pessimistic aspect that I have projected and dissociated from myself in my mind so as to not have to take responsibility for it – thus I commit myself to take responsibility for every single thought, belief, idea of myself as being ‘right’ and ‘the good person’ at all times with the ‘right judgment’ which leads to a ego position that is not willing to look at ‘the bad/ negative/ pessimistic’ that I must ensure I walk as myself in order to not allow such judgments to stand in the way of becoming a point that is able to stand one and equal to all parts of reality without separation – and this is what it is to be facing the ‘Evil’ as ourselves, as I finally understand that as long as we keep the least idea, belief or perception of something/ someone being a single definition that stands in separation of ourselves as equals, I am part of the separation that maintains this entire world system as is.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the righteousness that I’ve held has been in fact the evil aspect that has refrained me from standing one and equal as everything/ all here, because as long as I hold a value, judgment, belief and thought projected onto others believing that it is not about myself, the righteousness is preventing my own self-understanding/ seeing as one and equal – which indicates the reverse of Live as Evil that must be scrutinized as our own mind which actually allows me to see every moment what is it that I am separating myself from, as these are all indicated through the thoughts, experiences and reactions I hold toward others/ reality which is myself.

 

When and as I see myself believing that I am not responsible for the thoughts that I have because of them being an ‘assessment’ upon others/ reality, I stop and I breathe  I realize that self responsibility for everything we do, say, speak must be absolute so that I can in fact stand as an equal and one part of myself – because as long as a single value, judgment, belief, thought, experience is created upon reality, it indicates that personality/  ego is still being the directive force and not self as the unconditional stance of the physicality that I  am.

 

I commit myself to take the necessary breaths and moment to ensure that whatever I voice/ think and do is standing as an expression of myself that I can stand as for eternity – and that my single belief of this being ‘too far fetched’ to say ‘eternity’ is actually a point of ego that I must also walk through in order to stand as the full authority that I’ve abdicated as part of the evil/ reverse of living that I have believed myself to be wherein I have been limiting my own Write-ousness to right myself as that which I am willing to be/ stand as life/what is here as myself, without the ‘nagging’ limitation of me being only ‘in a process’ and placing the point of self realization as some ‘future outcome’ instead of seeing it as myself, here, as  I breathe, one and equal. 

 

 

Now, this is  a general Self Forgiveness, Self Corrective Application with regards to who I have been as a particular character that would stand as righteous within the ‘good/ positive’ aspect, taking a vantage position within that in order to not have to face every single judgment I made upon others as myself. Thus, the next step and process is to the denial of the evil within my reality and how I would only ‘cope with it’ existing in actual fear to realize that exists as myself as well, also who I am toward the relationships that I formed as a point of attraction due to the separation that I was existing as toward my own ‘evil side’ myself, and as such creating an energetic relationship to it through people/ things/ habits/ places, etc.  in order for me to not have to face it as myself, but always remain on the ‘safe side’ of the observer that is mostly an egotistical position toward our reality, as we cannot claim we are not part of something that is already here as ourselves.

 

Thus, I’ll continue deconstructing the righteousness/ goodness personality in relation to the ‘evil’ projected onto others/ the world instead of seeing it directly first as myself and walking the self correction within it to finally stand as one and equal to all parts and all aspects of myself.

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99. Sentencing Ourselves as Words

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use words as a way to denote one’s significance, worth and merit according to a system of values that have been agreed by default in our society built as our ‘language,’ wherein we learn that we have to qualify the subject with either a positive or negative experience and to build our own personality around such words as a way to exert our individuality and ‘free choice’ upon our ‘lives.’

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use words as a way to set ‘living standards’ that in no way denote/ consider and represent what is best for all living beings as equals, but instead created and use words as the very cages that we have caged life with such as judgments, opinions, values and experiences that can only exist at a mind level that we have imposed onto reality by the very fact that we use words to sentence and define/ limit ourselves and others as either more or less than ourselves here as life in as the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use words as a way to indicate a ‘moreness’ experience in/as our  minds as words that in no way denote a physicality but only a mind reality that is able to be manifested only through abusing others in order to portray a point of power/ control as superiority over others.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not take Responsibility for every word that I say, wherein words become the very sentencing process toward myself, ourselves and our reality just because of existing as a mind that will always look for and search for ways to exert its ‘power’ over life, not realizing that it is also life and that it is currently only serving the point of separation that has been perpetuated throughout our existence as human beings simply because we never questioned words themselves as an imposition toward life, we never questioned how come we are able to diminish ourselves/others through words and how we have come to establish our entire world-system as it currently exists based on the premise of separation and inequality –

within this

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to walk through my own vocabulary to see, realize and understand how I create my own reality through the very choice of words that I use in order to express/ depict/ represent who am I in this very moment of speaking – and as such, walk a definitive process to become aware of my words being at all times self-supportive and within that, becoming the directive principle of who I am as words in order to stop defining myself according to the words I speak in separation of myself – this implies that I direct myself to become aware of the words that imply myself as being a concept, a character, a judgment that will impose itself onto a physical reality that is at all times unconditionally here and that in no way words have been wrought and created in order to honor life, but have only been created to satisfy a mind that thrives upon friction, conflict, separation and further dissociation from the physical reality, as it is only through us using words as an illusion of self that we continue looping around a point of conflict stemming from the very separation that we manifest with our own words through thinking, speaking and directing such words without awareness of self here. 

 

I realize that taking responsibility for the words I speak implies me slowing down myself to breathe in every moment to not be ‘carried away by the moment’ wherein I load words as memories of the past in order to perpetuate the characters I had accepted and allowed myself to diminish myself as, but instead, become the directive principle to ensure that each word that I word myself as is an indication of the process I am committing myself to – and within this, realizing that stepping out of character will mean a reverse of the evil that we have become through and by our own words into the Life/living reality that has always been here as ourselves, but that we just have neglected because of having become used to seeking, wanting, desiring and needing to feed the ‘who we are’ as our mind that is energetically based, while the physical runs through and by the consumption of other physical parts in order to continue living – which means that words in no way can nurture life unless they are directed to physically and practically manifest ways in which this life can be equally distributed for all living beings on Earth.

 

This means that in order to stop the separation of words as ourselves as different values that create worth and consequentially a monetary system, we have to purify who we are as words – becoming aware of the vocabulary we have used to in essence sentence each other, dictate ourselves and spell our reality into and as a human race that could only Think reality but never live It in fact.  What this points out to is the realization that we have never in fact lived, because our very words were directed to only satisfy the ego of the mind, the digitalized personalities that we have diminished ourselves to as a ‘mind that think’s instead of being a body that lives.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever believe that my judgments toward another being, another aspect of my reality ‘are in fact real because I see it’ – without realizing to what extent I have conditioned myself to see according to what I want to see, ,which has only suited my needs, desires and so-called purpose/ mission in life, wherein I aligned all my life, decisions and apparent choices in life to satisfy this moreness idea of myself that could prevail upon others as a meaning of success.

 

Within this, I realize how the very acceptance of words like ‘lack’ or ‘scarcity’ as well as ‘poverty and famine’ themselves are an indication themselves of being an aspect  of abuse that we have come to integrate as ‘part of our vocabulary’ without ever daring to stop and see how such words were accepted as a reality imposed whenever one part/ aspect of the whole was able to exert control and power over the rest of existence, which implies that we are all equally responsible because for one/ few to rule over the majority, the majority must accept such ‘power and control’ as real, which means that

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to use and exist as the word ‘victim’ and ‘victimization’ as a way to abdicate my own responsibility toward myself, the words I speak as myself and the totality of who I am as the physical which is at the moment for myself establishing me as breath here wherein ‘Who I Am’ is no longer defined by a set of characters that can be read like a novel with ups and downs, positive and negative aspects, but can only instead be a living flesh that lives words as the realization that who I am can only be expressed through words that take into consideration what’s best for all, and who and what we are as the physical.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to sentence myself in separation of life through the words spoken without awareness of what is it that we are in fact saying about ourselves, expressing ourselves wherein the very essence of our being is subjugated to a fantasy reality, an artificial creation in the mind through logic that never stood as common sense as what’s best for all, but only stood as words arranged into a ‘logical aspect’ that could fit the fuzzy logic of ourselves as mind system seeking to always saturate and satiate its necessary fix of energy to continue existing as the very consequence of the separation of who we are as life itself.

 

I realize that words as capsules of energy is who we are as well, as nothing exists ‘outside of self,’ and as such I commit myself to study how I created who I am as the mind in relation to this energetic dependency to exist, instead of having embraced, realized and understood life as one and equal as myself, which implies that no energetic dependency – such as thinking, becoming emotional, participating in feelings – is essential and indispensable for life to continue.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an ‘abomination’ of reality through the very acceptance of all the processes, points, events that have to be accumulated in order for something to get to the point of ‘abomination’ as a reality that we all exist as, which points out to what extent that which we/ I see through my eyes as a point that I can ‘judge,’ is always in essence me judging myself as that point that I haven’t  yet accepted and allowed myself to forgive myself for in absolute, specific and detailed manner, as I am becoming aware of how one single word can activate an entire backchat that I have also held as ‘normal,’ because of never having had anyone ‘teaching/ sharing’ with ourselves how we are the very creation of and as ourselves and that everything we do does have an impact on the whole, and a such,

 

I realize that I am the one that is able to determine Who and what I am in every moment that I am here – wherein breathing and directing myself as the physical is the way to start looking at all the points I have separated myself from as my mind, as I see, realize and understand that everything that ‘comes to my mind’ is actually me revealing to me the points that I have to walk in order to establish myself as the absolute walking of self-correction at all times/ moments – realizing that we will never be able to ‘change the world’ if we don’t change and revisit the very words we speak and use to create this world as.

 

I commit myself to establish a vocabulary for myself/ all that honors and dignifies who we are and as such, to purify ‘who we are’ as the words that we have created and used to diminish or aggrandize ourselves with which can only exist as a concept in separation of self as life. Thus I realize that in order to establish a new humanity, words must be purified, corrected and proven day by day as a living-reality that is sustainable within the principle of what’s best for all, as only living words is what will remain in a physical world – every other word that stands for the ego of the mind, that stands as a perpetuation of the very consciousness that we have enslaved ourselves to, will have to come to an end – but the end won’t come as a magic wand that can be thrown back as another spell, but it is an actual living and physical corrective process wherein we walk through the consequences of having casted spells out as words in separation of self-here as one and equal and as such, learn how to express, create and communicate as equals with and as everything that is here, which implies that words will be devoid of any human egocentrism in order to recognize and expand equal abilities to all and everything that is also Here as ourselves in this world – plants, animals, environment, ‘invisible particles – that we have simply veiled ourselves from because of existing as a mind that thinks reality but never lived As Life/ reality/ the physical in itself.

 

Within this, I understand that each one holds the key to life as our own process of self correction and that as such, walking our very own judgments, opinions, beliefs, ideas, perceptions/ assumptions built as language in itself is the key to establish what is real as the physical and what is not – what serves life in equality and what served and energetic mind-game of winners and losers.

 

I commit myself to the realization here in order to live it as myself – and within this, realize that every moment I indulge into a point of separation through words spoken without awareness, I am in fact continuing and contributing to the already detrimental selves that we have become, blinded by our personal fixes while they worlds asphyxiates with the effects of our godly sins and indulgences in separation of life as one and equal.

 

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Blogs:

Quantum Consciousness Programming in Childhood – Part 1: Day 99 

Day 99: Predators of Capitalism
Day 65: Giving up character Self Forgiveness Statements

 

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