Equalizing myself as my physical body implies not suiting the ideals that I have participated and created in my mind toward it, that would be reinforcing the same system that we are here to stop reinforcing . It is about considering every single cell and what I have put my entire body through whenever I have indulged into a ‘regime’ that I have followed in the name of religions, such as when I was a vegetarian, to the point of becoming anemic for not considering the actual physical requirements to nurture my body.
I’ve walked that process in the past – however a new dimension has been added to this process of me understanding what it means to really stand equal and one as your physical body. I mean, we have become so separated from our bodies that we follow our mind-created cravings in order to satisfy what we ‘think’ is what we want or require. Just today I realized that I wanted to drink some mineral water, which is absolutely unusual to me, which implies that I didn’t ‘think myself into it’ but was an actual sensation to seeing how I had an experience of wanting something that would contain something a bit more than just plain water.
I have been experiencing the subtleties of my body that I would not experience before – yet I see the importance of now integrating the written self-corrective support that goes hand in hand with practical physical actions of, for example, integrating more variety of foods as vegetables and elements that I would not buy simply out of routine. I have lived a life wherein ‘my routine’ has become ‘my religion’ and in that, even when it comes to food it becomes almost like a subservient way of ‘giving me the least variety’ in means of austerity, somehow, yet not realizing that me existing in such limitation is just also self-interest as I am only considering how I have judged food and what I eat and how I have defined myself according to money and what I eat, which are then relationships of value and separation from what I see I am actually capable of eating/ consuming without creating any ideas of ‘being abusive’ for eating – I had just written ‘indulging’ – into a wider variety of foods.
It’s quite revealing how one can use a certain image as a means to portray ‘modesty’ and ‘humbleness’ which has permeated the simplicity that I want to portray as an image, and can still come through as clothes – simple clothes – and foods – simple foods which doesn’t meant that it is ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ but I can still see that I am holding this ‘neutral experience’ toward it, which stands as a generated experience that I have limited myself within as well. It’s very cool to realize this as I have seen how one cannot really be ‘neutral’ as it is a long-standing point between both poles and still defining it according to having been living in either side of the opposite polarities.
So – the way to walk out of creating an experience form that which I eat is stopping giving it any ‘face value’ within my mind, no matter how ‘neutral’ it may seem. The moment I face resistances to open up the point implies that I am not willing to give up my ‘status quo’ which is a very familiar state for me wherein once that I’ve ‘reached’ a certain point I can remain in it without actually challenging such status quo and deliberate change the habit to learn where and how I can implement new points and solutions and physical support for myself. That’s something that I enjoyed about the farm, how points were constantly shifting wherein my usual desire to remain ‘safe’ in any given task, routine is suddenly immediately altered which forces me to re-evaluate, re-schedule and prioritize time and time again. That’s really challenging and it’s in those moments when we can face if we are really ‘stable’ and ‘unconditional’ regardless of the new situations/ events that may come up.
“Bodyshape – lol; when human beings see the word bodyshape – BODYshape is how it’s read, and attempt/try to shape the body according-to how the mind has shaped reality, and thus what exist within BODYshape is MINDshaped – where the mind takes IMAGES/PICTURES and attempt/try to shape it with/as actual physical reality that is not a Picture/Image but an actual physical existence/reality that is constantly/continuously in motion/movement according to our beingness/mind as how we express through/with/as the physical. And thus, Bodyshape has become Mindshaped and what experience the consequence is the being in/as/with the body – because the mind try shape the body according to a picture/image, like trying to stop time in the physical for the image/picture to manifest when the physical is constantly changing/in movement.
Thus, the process should be SELFshaping – assisting and supporting self to shape self up into/as Life/Living, and realise that it’s bodySHAPE – simply the shape the body is in according to self’s relationship with self and the physical, and to align self with the physical in shaping self and the body into/as equality and oneness – this is the shape that should be regarded” – Sunette Spies
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my physical body and turning it into a single image that I have created in my mind of how it must look according to how I have imposed ‘my view’ onto reality according to how I see through the eye of the mind that places picture-presentation on top of the actual physical existence that is here as the physicality and all the relationships that are existent here as my physical body.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard every single cell and part of my body that I have put strain on whenever I would deliberately follow a new belief system upon eating, without regarding its actual nutrient requirements, which eventually lead me to experience my body giving an alarm that I required meat, which is how I realized that I had to stop following a belief system wherein I would only consider my own interest on ‘not feeling guilty for killing animals’ yet being at the verge of a serious physical condition that took me time and pain to recover from in the past.
I learn from such mistakes and deliberate abuse that I imposed onto my body in order to remind me to not follow again any regime that will lead me to consequences that I am not equating as myself As the Physical body, but only at the mind value wherein I seek to make myself look better and ‘feel’ better from a mind perspective, instead of actually considering the necessary nutrients and elements that I require to consume in order to support myself as the physical body.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my existence as only a ‘form’ as a physical body, that I only see the skin/ surface of, without realizing that there is an entire universe of cells forming tissues, organs, systems as the entire configuration that exists as my physical body that I must consider in its totality every moment that I am indulging into food, that I quit/ stop certain foods and the physical movement that I use as regular exercise for self-support.
I realize that it is within self-interest that we can abuse and limit ourselves from proper feeding every time that we follow an ideal of what we must eat, without doing proper research within our own body, doing one point at a time, step by step to ensure that we are in fact monitoring the changes and actual physical experience with such changes, to make sure that I am not putting my body under pressure and strain that becomes imperceptible by our current separation that we have created from our physical body.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having imposed my values upon body image, foods and looks based on what I deemed as ‘acceptable’ within my reality, which is a mind-reality where the actual physicality that I am comprised of was absolutely neglected and overlooked when and while imposing ‘sudden’ changes within my diet, which is deliberate acts that I would do in order to satisfy a mind routine of self-fulfillment without considering at all times the actual nutritional value for my body in itself in the first place.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having ever disregarded the very fact that I kept a struggle during an entire lifetime with wanting to achieve a certain ‘idea’ of how I must look, without ever considering the actual structure that sustains me, as the physical constitution of my body wherein each cell is aware of even the slightest change that I create in my day to day diet.
When and as I see myself pondering about creating a change in my diet, I stop and I breathe – I make sure that the starting point is actually in order to investigate how certain meals are able to support my physical body effectively, wherein I place aside and not participate within the starting point of using certain meals to support me to ‘achieve’ getting a certain body image as the body form that I have used as an excuse and patterned ideal that has no physical consideration for who I really am as the actual physical that cannot be possibly reduced to being only an image.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to reduce myself to being only image seen through physical eyes only.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard the fact that I am in constant movement and reactions as chemical processes inside me that I have become so separated from that I have neglected how the slightest indulgence, change/ alteration in my day to day living in relation to food can in fact create a disruption that I cannot even be immediately aware of, due to the extent of separation that I’ve fueled as the acceptance of who I am as a mind that seeks a ‘perfect picture presentation’ based on equally-sold picture-presentation ideals in the name of keeping ourselves entertained with and as the mind as ‘who we are,’ instead of actually stepping out of the mind-loop and get into actual physical considerations of our body as a living-organism, not a bi-dimensional picture presentation according to the standards of what I have believed will ‘make me feel better about myself’ which is linking the body image to a positive experience, like the one we get when having money and feeling ‘better’ than before.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to manipulate my body as a image that could portray ‘modesty’ and ‘simplicity’ yet still within the starting point of creating a ‘neutral’ experience within me, which is then how I have surreptitiously kept myself in a ‘comfort zone’ when it comes to actually dealing with how I have utilized my body to fulfill an ideal of myself – which is not Real but mind-based.
I forgive myself that I have deliberately manipulated my diet in means of ‘austerity’ which stems from the entire relationship toward money wherein I created such ‘modesty’ and ‘austerity’ in relation to how I used to spend a lot more money on a wide variety of food in the past- thus I realize that it’s not about creating an experience of ‘eating cheap food’ but actually starting to remove the value as money that defines my current experience toward food, and instead consider the actual nutritional value that is entails to eat and nurture myself as my physical body.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make of what I eat part of my daily self-religion wherein modifying what I eat seems like a sacrilege to my status quo, not realizing that within this I am only limiting myself to explore new ways of supporting myself and my physical body – mind and body equally.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link ‘austerity’ to a ‘positive value’ within myself, without realizing that it is also an experience that I must stop in order to start reconsidering the actual nutrition points that I require to support my body in an optimum way
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear ‘changing my habits’ as this is part of having to ‘break my personality/ ego’ as the usual comfort and status quo that allows me to ‘play safe’ within my reality, not realizing that this can only lead to stagnation and it is a limitation to the detriment of my own process of actually realizing new points that I can incorporate and move myself toward if I direct myself to do so.
I realize that modesty and austerity are only mind-created experiences that have no physical congruency to the reality that I exist as in my physical body which cannot be fueling or be part of the life-degradations I’ve created as personalities that I have used to suit my own desires of ‘how I must look’ and ‘what I must eat’ within an entire personality idea of me being a ‘modest’ and ‘austere’ person.
I commit myself to support myself to actually live in accordance to developing an equal and one support of myself as my physical body, as my mind which I am here to re-educate in means of supporting myself as who I really am as a living being that requires to establish proper relationships with Self as the physical.
I commit myself to walk a process of learning/ educating myself further on how what I eat supports me/ doesn’t support me, based on actual experimentation that I allow myself to commit to for a couple of weeks to see how it is experienced within my physical body.
The only acceptable form/ shape of myself is as a living being that is able to live one and equal here as my physical body first, to no longer put it under any form of strain while following a certain image/ ideal based on the constrains of my mind that is currently influenced by everything that sells well in this reality.
I commit myself to start considering what my physical body is actually requiring instead of following (fall-allowing) the thoughts in my mind of why I should or should not eat something. I have to develop in practicality what ‘man know thyself’ actually means in this regard, which is an actual living process that I’m beginning from here on.
Interview by Bernard Poolman about the points that must be considered whenever one is trying out new foods and diets in our every day living.
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