Tag Archives: symbolism

405. Culture: the Clockwork of our Psychosphere

 We may not change culture overnight, but we certainly CAN begin changing the way that we live and participate in it.

 

Continuing from:

 

  Seeing it from this perspective to me is quite supportive to ponder ‘twice’ any time I go to watch a film or see any works of art and remind myself that what I see is not special, not unique, it won’t give me a ‘breakthrough’ in itself and so stop for once and for all that ‘seeking’ mentality which is more like a habit from the past as I am certainly not looking for any ‘truths’ in it any longer once I have realized I created my own mythology with my art as well, without realizing that there’s nothing new under the sun and that we all use the same symbols and images so it’s just arranging it in a different way to create some meaning and give continuation to the stories – lies – we have been telling to ourselves as human beings to make us more godly or divine, at least that’s what the ‘art role’ was meant to be according to what is taught in academy. Yes, though once you start finding out the nature of such ‘god’ and such elites, well, let’s just say that art can be reduced as well to the most refined form of propaganda of course and now I understand why I had such a hard time realizing that all art had been previously entirely devoted to promote religion or immortalize monarchs or peasants to remind ourselves ‘this is how it’s always been like’ in the absence of the eye that can lie as well as the photographic camera, but hey every age requires its own cementation in our minds through pictures and words, so art served that function.

 

If anything, art has been used to impose symbols, to enslave – hence the ‘mythical’ start of it for magic-religious purposes. Gee, only now I kind of realize the pieces of my puzzle and the absolute diversion I delved myself into, no wonder I was seeking gods in pictures, symbols or philosophies – all part of the ‘inherent’ (read: preprogrammed) need to have someone/something greater than us to make responsible for this entire creation – so, religion is one of the primary mind constructs we all exist as, whether you are atheist or not, it’s part of the unconscious the same way that we believe that fighting for our lives is something that makes sense, or how the rich and the poor is how things have always been and always will be. Art then became the necessary imposition of images to perpetuate religious mentality for the purpose of pacifying/stupefying and sedating individuals while threatening with the ‘wrath of god’ if anyone dared to step outside of the line – well, it was religion back in the day but now it’s just alcohol, drugs, sports, entertainment and big pharma too, but that’s our contemporary story.

 

So, it’s taken me some time to find ‘more reasons’ to write about this art subject and it’s interesting how I had to use other pieces of information to break my own spell, meaning, having to let go of the idea of art as something ‘really human’ or else, as if it was more ‘true’ than anything else we do or say, which can’t be so, because everything we have ever thought, done, spoken comes from who we are as the mind and so we have only learned how to regurgitate the same ‘system’ into pictures, ideas, stories and so reinforce our own cages, which is why understanding one’s enslavement makes it easier to let go of anything one is holding onto from ‘the past’ which is the current automated reality we are living in – it is once again to remind myself that no matter how ‘majestic’ something might look like, it was never meant to glorify or represent life or principles of equality at all, but rather the opposite.

 

An example: writers were contracted to be informed about which topics to write upon, such as space travel, futuristic technocracies, alien invasions and so with doing this, begin an entire new ‘wave of thought’ in the society through these inoffensive tools called books that then eventually turned into movies. The same with films which are formulas to instigate a particular line of thinking and making of the main topics in them something acceptable as part of culture/what goes on in our minds as well – just as it’s happened with porn appearing on ‘mainstream movies’ nowadays as well as sadomasochism made ‘cool’ and we’re on our way to make of pedophilia and all kinds of paraphilias something ‘acceptable’ so that younger generations get the idea that ‘it is okay to have sex with older people.’ This is the current nature of our culture and where we are heading to.

 

Clockwork 2003

 

 

Once again, are we only revealing and making acceptable what always has existed within us as human beings, or are we instilling new behaviors through our culture? I’d say both since we create such fixations in our minds and we simply evolve the experiences to have new contexts, new ‘ideas’ to fantasize upon and so ‘upgrade’ the experience. In the mind we function as addicts that get our ‘fix’ from having something to think about or fantasize about and the initial experiences can get us to quite a ‘high’ but then, we continue ‘pushing the envelope’ because once the energetic reaction becomes normalized (you build resistance) one seeks a greater dose. This is what I see is what we’ve all been following in the media until it becomes absolutely unsustainable or else, what is left there to continue ‘pushing the envelope’ when it comes to our celebritism? To our ‘art’? to our films other than rehashing the same stories over and over again?

 

 

Why do I see this as a very relevant topic? Because I can see myself as a product of the ‘culture’ I decided to immerse myself in, and I mean this as an actual decision I made in my teenage years to soak up the most information about music, books, arts so that I could work on that – why did this happen? It clearly happened after 2001 and the almost paranoid reaction I had toward keeping myself high on CNN watching every detail and every move after 9-11– lol just like those elections where Bush wasn’t able to be clearly defined as the next president and you’d ponder WHY was I watching that? Well, it was my idea then of becoming politically involved. But after realizing the scam it was, I then veered toward that which I thought was more liberating: arts. My very relationships and career decisions were entirely shaped by every single book I read within the starting point of finding some kind of ‘truths’ in them, seeking to identify ‘me’ through the writer’s characters without realizing I was in fact absorbing it all to then rehash it in the form of ‘my own personality.’

 

The same with the music that I developed an affinity for, the stereotypes of individuals praised as ‘artists’ and how I also even trained myself to praise crap art (not literal though) because, well everyone else seems to also like it isn’t it? Lol like my ‘favorite movement’ Abstract Expressionism and Pollock – just praised alcoholics or junkies made stars on the cover of Life Magazine, upgraded to such stardom for a very necessary political move of that time when it comes to consolidating America’s position after WW2, and this would imply that  we only get to know of the artists that somehow have also ‘agreed’ to be part of the establishment – which from my personal aspirations of ever getting to that position means that everything has always been fixed and that no one becomes that famous without hidden agendas. Who knows? Maybe Van Gogh was made such a legend because of his erratic behavior and affinity for absinthe and so, he was made famous to begin instigating  more people to get into drugs to paint in such ways too… because let’s face it: we copy and integrate everything we see around us and if we see something that works to ‘get some success’ going, then we will try and emulate it because it is part of our preprogramming to seek such specialness and ‘uniqueness’ too, and some people like myself would seek it through artistic stardom, others through becoming a stock broker which means: yes, art is not ‘outside of the system’ at all, and the star-system is the learned protocol if one wants to ‘make it’ within the system.

 

 

 modern_slave

Artwork by JL Kenney

 

I actually decided in my early teens to watch all ‘cult movies’ because I was getting myself prepared to be ‘well acculturated’ and went from Pulp Fiction, Taxi Driver, A Clockwork Orange, Scarface, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Trainspotting, Reservoir Dogs and others..  you can see the constant topics there: drugs, criminality and ultraviolence and this is what is a ‘must’ in every movie along with sex if it is to ensure its success, a perfect carrier for imprinting new behaviors which are then copied by ourselves as if it was a mint reflection of our society.  When it comes to books, reading Burroughs, lots of Kerouac, Palahniuk, Coupland while listening to depressive music saying ‘It’s too late now, It’s the devil’s way now’ and watching people like Thom Yorke get ‘depressed’ in his ultra-famous lifestyle pointing out to us that even if you have it all there’s still that depressed state residing within due to being too aware of how things really work, or be told that Kurt Cobain committed suicide for hating this world and wanting to die – which I still consider he was suicided in fact, but that’s another story –  Well no ponder I painted what I painted, I just rehashed what I would read/hear/see around me: Culture!  And nowadays it’s stronger than ever to promote being dumb and stupid as ‘cool’ and having mentality such as ‘You Only Live Once’ and justifying any form of teenage stupidity because Hey, YOLO!  Or seeing the ultra mind controlled Miley Cyrus or some ten years ago Britney Spears breaking the norm of what a ‘lady’ should act/be like and continuing to push the boundaries when it comes to ‘gender roles.’

 

Entertainment was the key influence in my life throughout the time when I was developing my own emotions and feelings which is what I eventually enjoyed ‘losing’ myself into: as a child watching too much TV, as a teenager reading many books, listening too much music from which I learned more about the human mind while developing some rather unusual fascinations with everything that pointed out toward death and destruction, which I later on transposed onto my own paintings wherein I tried to also become part of the ‘shock world’ just because I was so much against what seemed normal and acceptable, so I found my ‘niche’ in society by everything that seemed to go against the tide.  An example is the time when I placed myself to watch some ‘cult movies’ like Pulp Fiction and Reservoir Dogs, I considered them far too violent and could not comprehend how people could revere it, however I then wanted to be part of that world, of the ‘alternative’ or the not so widely acceptable, just anything that could question or challenge what I deemed to be the ‘status quo’ or ‘what is normal’ but, I wasn’t at all aware how it is that these movies were made popular for the very purpose of making sex, drugs, ultra violence part of the mainstream and ‘normalcy’ in our consciousness. 

 

 

The same went on with A clockwork orange, I watched it a couple of times and walked through my own early digestion of the idea of violence being enjoyable for these guys and pondering if others were able to discern that such violence was not in fact something funny or enjoyable and that these guys were sick in the gulliver. However a deliberate problem here is that Kubrick didn’t include chapter 21 on Burgess’ original story, which would have given another twist to the whole plot and shown a real grown up Alex that had transcended his ultra-violent teenage years as that would have ‘broken the spell’ for a film maker that was also meant to create a ‘mark’ in an entire generation and generations to come with the portrayal of violence as something fun to do, aside from the mind control remarks in an attempt to ‘cure’ Alex’s problem, which also gives a hint of what Big Pharma means today in a ‘mentally ill’ person’s life: cure without ever pondering WHY is it that our so called ‘mental illnesses’ exist today more so than ever before, and how we could even legitimize it without any real means to test someone for it?

I guess I could write many things about all of this since it’s part of my so-called ‘visual’ education, but the point here is to realize that nothing is what it seems, there has been no real virtues in this world, we have never been actually alive so anything I ever had respect for of course was just a lie that I wanted to hold on to for some reason, which in this case it came through what I would read in magazines that was considered ‘cool’ and ‘cult movies’ and ‘movie classics’ which actually were on purpose made part of such categories so that any person would then have to watch those movies and get acquainted with the basics that make of Hollywood something profitable till this day.

Will I be able to see things with the same eyes again? No, once the lid is blown off, you can’t. It is no longer a nice story where Jane the girl in American Beauty that would kind of see through the ‘fakeness’ in reality, ‘falling  in love’ and running away with a drug dealer to ‘escape their reality’ I mean, it stops having such romantic twist to it – as I had defined it anyways, lol – and it becomes just another plot where those that could not ‘fit in the box’ become ‘outsiders’ and living in the fringe side of reality.  However I do like to keep watching/reading to continue seeing where and how we have created this mass hypnosis where we have essentially become the personas that we are sold in the media: this is the not so innocent and most pervasive brainwashing and as such, I see it is very important to become more aware of how we ‘entertain’/entrain ourselves, and not end up in denial of that which we wasted our life time on, as I did at some point in my life too when being in a constant hypnosis of watching music videos for example.

 

The point here is demonstrating how we have never genuinely created something that demonstrated an actual point of self-creation in our culture, and of course we haven’t done so because We as individuals have Never in fact considered such starting point possible within ourselves in the first place, to recognize the power and ability to create ourselves, to become better human beings. All we have ever been and done is to exist as the ‘created’ at the mercy of some invisible creator, repeating, revamping, rehashing what has been used since the beginning of time to revere its ‘unfathomable’ existence and creation.  It was in the repetition of symbols, myths & archetypes, ideologies and holy books, behaviors and morals that we have shaped ourselves around the same acceptance of oneself as the mind only and from there, confirm our ‘human nature’ and why we seem to always be so unfulfilled, so miserable, suffering all the time, the ‘pains of living’ and the ‘struggle’ to make a decent living… is this what LIFE is really about or is this what we’ve seen/read/watched it is Meant to be? We have only perverted, tainted and twisted it all further, enhancing our own separation, ignorance, apathy and overall self-destruction through the ‘creations’ we’ve pulled out as arts/media/culture – please see specifically now contemporary art/ post modernism of which I became just a part of by reproducing the same ideas around everything that I would imprint within myself on a daily basis for years on from the TV: death, destruction, decay, suffering, abuse, sexual deviance and learning how to praise this as some kind of ‘truth’ of an individual, almost learning to accept this bs as  the ‘dark side’ that we had to come to embrace and make it more evident to ‘wake up’ but, of course we’ve kind of remained in the phase of becoming enamored with our distractions, our diseases, our paraphilias and haven’t yet given the next step to outgrow it and realize it for the teenage years this implies when it comes to our stages of development as species. Sure, you can be mesmerized by how well done/crafted some works are, but again:  is the starting point of it, the essence  and intent of it something that I can consider valuable or respectable and supportive for our real development as living human beings, to consider what is best for all within the context of self-honesty? No.

 

All seeing eyes 2005

 

In a way it does mirror our reality. Contemporary art became garbage, literal garbage sold as millions, or canned poo which is the most common example of how this ‘devaluation’ or should I say the entire extrapolation of value became yet another cognitive dissonance and part of the plan when art came to form part of ‘desirable collectibles’ by the elite and making some pieces of plastic worth millions of dollars – I correct myself, billions of dollars such as Sotheby’s record sales of 5.8 billion dollars in 2011 –  making it nothing more than just any other asset for people at Wall Street to feel empowered with. It is also very cool for me to see and realize this, and come to see how all those books I read trying to make sense of ‘the movements’ or phases of human expression were nothing else but planned justifications to make it seem as some kind of ‘natural evolution’ of sorts, when in fact it has always been planned specifically to follow through within the context of how the world works at an economic and political level. Let’s not forget it is the current roles of curators and ‘art authorities’ that decide what gets ‘consecrated’ and what doesn’t –  just as in regular HIStory told by the winners, the side of the story that we are meant to adopt and accept as ‘how the story went!’ so that we keep feeding each other lies and keep revering our own masters.

 

IGod

 

 

The current success of our drugged/medicated, dumbed down, fame seeking population suffering from cognitive dissonance, while being dumbfounded at celebritism confirms the effectiveness of our own mind control, accepted, allowed and even praised. When we look at our culture, we can see nothing else but the fulfillment of our own prophecy for absolutely consensual enslavement, one that we buy and choose as part of our personalities and preferences, believing that we can somehow still manage to ‘feel special’ in a standardized society where even ‘subcultures’ or anti-cultures are part of the system, lol. From my own experience, it will take quite some time to wake up from it, as it just took me some 7 years to come to realize this because I had wanted to keep the little idea or dream that these artists were ‘special people’ that had have some genuine ‘revelations’ in their work and what they do, which is what I tried to be a part of, to be the one that could ‘see’ behind the scenes or have some special connections with god –  I am not joking here, when I started painting I also wanted to be the hand of god to reveal something special, lol. But, how could that be without even pondering first if the thoughts, the images, the concepts we had in our minds were in fact our own, including the idea/notion/speculation of GOD itself?

 

 

The same with architecture and every ‘majestic’ construction, of course it was built by slaves but I still wanted to overlook the obvious inherent purposes of such constructions as the physical consolidation of what ‘control’ and ‘power’ looked like, of accepting the existence of massive amounts of wealth to build for the elites, repeating symbols for thousands of years and as such learn it in our history books as if it represented some ‘great work’ or revelation of our ‘who we are’ as species – dismissing the fact that if anything, we could confirm that we have never in fact ceased to exist as slaves, but instead we were taught how to  revere our enslavement. We are all in fact experiencing Stockholm Syndrome and it is rather urgent that we wake up to see how through the seemingly ‘innocent’ we are driving each other to the precipice, starting with child consumerism and the archetypes fed by Disney movies, it’s definitely something to focus on if we can’t at the moment entirely straighten the rest ‘crooked trees’ right away, but children are of primary importance here.

 

I still find it very interesting when I hear someone say ‘to have thoughts of their own’ as if we had our very own copyright to everything we think or say, as if we could create words from scratch. We weren’t even aware how our tastes and preferences were being shaped by ‘the environment’/culture and our lineage/parents which means you would get into it no matter if you went to private schools or else, because having a TV, reading books, watching films, or simply being with your peers would invariably taint you with it.  Drugs were never meant to be ‘liberating’ but the other way around, they were just promoted by these people that told us to ‘tune in and drop out’ while hanging out with artists/rockstars and make everyone drool to such ‘lifestyles,’ never even pondering who was financing some of the greatest ‘rock bands’ in history and virtually any ‘star’ that we have gotten to know of. It’s very simple: if you become famous, if you ‘make it’ it mostly usually means you had to continue playing the role and tell the stories that give continuation to the agenda for further indoctrination and control. This is how we became the useful idiots as human beings that  in seeking for a piece of heaven as fame and fortune, one comes to accept certain ideologies and behaviors, sometimes it’s not even by explicit consent because we then believe that we can innovate by ‘pushing the envelope further’ and ‘be controversial’ or transgressive as if this meant going against ‘the core of control’ as ‘the system’ or religions,  but in fact it is another contained form of ‘rebellion’ to continue misleading ourselves from the actual sources of change, which doesn’t mean dropping the white dove to embrace the raven within, but the consideration of the starting point of why I do this, what motivates me, what do I get from it? Am I supporting myself within this that I am doing/creating? Is my intention to support others and myself through it?

 

Nothing of what we see currently as ‘mainstream’ In our CULTure is spontaneous either, it is manufactured, it is deliberately fixed to promote certain ‘artists’ or ‘artworks’ or ideas through TV shows, so it doesn’t genuinely reflect an ‘evolution’ because there’s NEVER been such self-directive change in our consciousness: we’ve always been herded/guided. And this is yet another aspect to de-mystify about expression and what has been promoted as some kind of ‘spiritual revelation’ in art itself or in Satanism as pop-culture is presenting now: it was never in fact meant to ever represent genuine self-expression, it’s only a chewable way to integrate mind-control and mind possession as ‘normal’ and ‘cool’ while sending any living principles out of the scene and made uncool or ‘old-fashioned.’ 

 

Sacred Mindfucks 2008

 

 

If I hadn’t stopped myself from falling down that precipice of the new age/sacred art culture that I was delving myself into some 7 years ago, I would have probably be enamored with things that Alex Grey’s paintings or aiming to at least be someone like Banksy to be an incorporated and revered form of ‘resistance’ to the system. Everything is literally ‘on our noses’ as the culture we breathe in and out every single day – and there was still a part of me that refused to entirely SEE this or more like placing it into words, as I was still holding on to keeping just this ‘little pieces of heaven’ as the ideas of who these ‘great artists’ had been, and ‘what great inspirations’ they have represented for me and yes I repeat, their work probably is/was or their ideas,  but of course it never meant a life-changing example but more of a conducted and deliberate plan to continue misleading from promoting or making actual solutions part of our ‘pop culture’ or art movements. This is why everything is so contained as if it was prescribed, it’s a preprogrammed plan as well and as such there was no real ‘innovation’ or real creativity involved but prepaid craftsmanship to advance and give specific morals, ideas, en vogue topics as the ‘new directions’ to our human culture and this is what I’m most intensely interested on these days: debunking our culture.

 

Maybe I can learn something from that Chuck Klosterman’s book I read many years ago Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs  to analyze popular culture and see how it is that our fitter-happier mentality in this capitalist ‘mediafied’ system is the ‘filter’ through which we create our relationships, how we interact with one another is entirely manufactured for a specific purpose: to become willfully ignorant and prisoners of our own diversion and distraction as we become addicted to what’s in the ‘psychosphere’/collective unconscious and be a part of our globalized mentality, which I don’t necessarily judge as ‘bad’ but only see all the points that would require to be aligned to be a supportive popular culture, and we are heading in the opposite direction at the moment.

 

So, one point to consider here is that this is in no way to blame those that apparently ‘set the agenda’ as ‘they’ were just part of the game anyways, but rather looking at how I/we accepted and allowed ourselves to become prisoners of our own diversions, of our own emotions and feelings, of our own minds while neglecting to really look at what is it that we are making of ourselves, what have we turned ourselves into and use common sense as a point of reference to see ‘where we are’ in our day to day participation: is what I like, do, follow, commit to what is best for all? Why is it that something as vital as politics and understanding of how the system really works never been part of our inherent ‘culture’? Why have we reduced politics to a mockery? Nowadays politicians seem to be more of a subject for reality shows with the same contest-like popularity mentality structure where one can ‘vote’ for the lesser of two evils and call that a civil duty – so why are no real definitions of politics as in realizing our power to direct our lives and so make effective decisions to benefit ourselves as society?  Oh no! That’s where the real threat exists! That’s why we are constantly taught to hate ‘the elite’ and ‘hate politicians’ and see them as ‘the problem’ while excluding ourselves as co-creators of the problem – that’s the Real problem in fact. And so the importance of always considering SELF-Responsibility in everything we might think or believe that only ‘a few’ are imposing ‘upon us.’ It is as simple as realizing that there would be ‘no culture’ if we – one by one – didn’t actively participated in it.

DSC01882

 

I remember this text of about 50 pages on what ‘Culture’ is when I was in junior high school and now I would reduce the definition of culture to the industry of making behavioral imprints part of a person’s individual and collective identity for the purpose of maintaining old-age status quo with the appearance of evolution or progress while creating a paradigm of ideologies that perpetuate the divide and conquer mentality through the mechanisms of entertainment and arts, which are intended to standardize thinking, behavioral, emotional and feeling patterns in the masses. There has never really been an evolution, but only a change of scenario with words that would indicate ‘progress’ while missing out on the actual newspeak this ‘progress’ entails. How can there be any progress when we still leave out billions of individuals from having access to the most essential needs to live in dignity, such as water, food, shelter, healthcare? This is also to place into perspective in which kind of segmented bubbled mentality we exist in when praising the lavish lifestyles of our rich and famous while disregarding and deliberately ignoring the real problems we have come to accept as ‘normal’ in our world.

 

 Common Sense and Principled Living to consider Life in Equality and What’s Best for All in everything we do/act/speak is what we don’t yet  learn in school and this is why it is so important to start debunking everything we had used as an excuse to justify ‘who we are’ and our ‘human nature’ within ‘culture,’ because culture is still man-made, it is NOT something inherent to our physical bodies, it is not in the air we breathe, it is not in the food we eat – no matter how contaminated or GMO’d it can be – it is all about who we are in the mind and what we decide to participate in. Human Nature and ‘Culture’ have become the greatest excuses as to why it is apparently ‘impossible to change’ now, it is a comfortable lie we like to tell ourselves, so we have to being there before attempting to call others ‘liars’ isn’t it? That’s where self-integrity and self-honesty begins.

 

It’s time to debunk my own perceptions of what art was supposed to be and to understand that even if I had the intention to ‘see beyond the veil’ the very fact that I wanted to hold on to some apparent ‘good’ things I had believed were a virtue in some individuals and human creations like in art made me want to hold on to certain aspects of my own cultural conditioning from which I developed my personality, my taste in men, the lifestyle I wanted, the kind of music, TV, books and everything that I previously regarded as , ‘the who I am’ within the social-soup of reality which is the way I shaped myself to be as who I am as my mind. I bet that everyone can relate to identifying oneself to one character in a movie, in a book, or with some artist and even emulate the way they lived their lives or trying to mimic ‘how they got to make it’ in the world. Another example of this manufacturing of culture is how suddenly certain things would become available and so ‘openly’ talked about in the mainstream like with the hippie movement and psychotropic drugs, sexual openness, the apparent female empowerment and the tune in-drop out ‘living’ mode which gave another step toward the new age movement. Little did I know there was nothing really ‘special’ about that in the sense of human consciousness suddenly ‘evolving’ or us finding some kind of ‘gate’ to the heavens lol, but instead it is about seeing how these were specific experiments conducted by the CIA to precisely get an entire generation interested on drugs, spirituality and the ‘unseen’ as well as feeding addictions rather than ever getting closer to finding out real ways to make of our lives in this world-system better, such as politics or becoming familiarized with the ways the money system operates, who decides how we conduct our social-programs, why do we we even limit ourselves in our economic systems and so forth.

 

 art-should-be

 

 

There have been many, many things that have suddenly become a point of focus and attention in our lives, because it is constantly talked about of and/or advertised and so we diminish ourselves to be receptors and regurgitate what we watch on mainstream media, and then ponder why ‘everyone’s talking about…..’ similar topics. Well, there’s no magic in that. I made the experiment myself some years ago when I deliberately would not watch anything about pop culture, I didn’t even know who Lady Gaga was until late 2010 and dared to listen to the music, but before that I only got to know of the name and person through the covers of magazines that I would see while making a line in the supermarkets in South Africa. So, it is possible to be ‘out of the loop’ of course if you step outside of mainstream TV, radio and not visit such pop culture websites. However because right now we are so plugged into everything that is constant ‘news’ and celebritism, you get to know of these individuals whether you like it or not, it’s just all over and one can ignore it, but you can’t avoid seeing the pictures everywhere. So this is how we move ourselves en masse to keep enticing  ourselves to upscale our own obsessions and diversions from ever considering what it is that our lives would be without such entertainment? Maybe we would start actually focusing on why we have to constantly suffer, strive and really exist as slaves that only worry about money and fearing to lose our jobs.

 

It is essential to get ourselves out of this survival mode if we want to ever get to a point of providing to each other a dignified living, and most of the time we rather have a joystick between our hands or hypnotize ourselves with Netflix marathons rather than taking some of the multiple sources in the internet and start scratching the surface to understand why do we live in such a dog-eat-dog world? How have we created this nature of the system? What can we do about it? Which would in fact then be us realizing that politics IS what should have always been part of our culture, it IS what should have always formed part of our essential education: to realize each one of us has the power to create oneself and as such direct our reality in a way that is beneficial for all.

So, by saying this we can already see that we have been ‘living’ in a deliberately concealed or fabricated version of our reality to precisely Not dig into these topics, to Not see behind the glitter and glam that we are constantly fed with by the surreal lives portrayed on television.  So, this all indicates to myself that as I now see, realize and understand with more clarity than ever before, it is my responsibility as a human being, as part of this creation and part of the problem to support myself and be a point of support for others that also want to start taking the veil off of their eyes. This is the real apocalypse time, the time of revealing to ourselves all the lies we have bought and sold as ‘our culture’ for example, and how it is this very ‘culture’ that has become the very virus we all get infected with by getting high on the experiences we choose to get from it, getting lost in the fantasy realm of the fictions that serve for multiple purposes leading to a greater distraction and diversion from ever considering doing something more substantial to really change the world.

 

It is so true to say that the real revolution won’t be televised, and everything that once was ‘revolutionary’ or ‘alternative’ becomes mainstream and so gets sucked into the system again, nor do I mean the type of revolution with guns, protests and machetes – but the revolution of who we are as our minds. So, I do not actually oppose getting mainstream if these ideas proposed here start becoming the usual awareness of how this world really operates; in fact, the more and more we start collectively seeing this, the more and more difficult it will be to buy just any lie, to fall for the same Hollywood crap we are sold in order to upgrade and instill ‘new ideas’ of what we are meant to be thinking about now. There’s nothing new really, we have reached the end of ‘creativity’ and it is now the time to start creating a New Living Culture of Life, one where we make of self-responsibility a necessity to coexist in dignity, a culture of principles where we can support each other to live and stop losing ourselves in emotional mindfucks and enhancing our obsessions.

Our human nature has never certainly been benevolent, but praising its malevolence will only get us further down the hole. So if I see this, if you see this: it is us that have to change how culture is created nowadays. And how to do this? You may ask, well, it’s not to merely ‘change’ what is created, but changing ourselves, changing who we are as the creators and participants in this reality which will determine the nature of our creations, that’s the real birthing as life creative process we’re talking about here, and I want YOU to join us in it.

 

 

 

I forgive myself that I hadn’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that all aspects of what I had called ‘culture’ as a way to ennoble ourselves as human beings was in fact nothing else but the show off of our very core programming, all based on personalities that were in fact also used to give continuation to certain ‘phases’ in our own mind control or self-awareness diversions such as books, music, films that I once believed were a ‘reflection’ of ourselves –  and they are – however they also were in fact great instruments of conditioning and imprinting of certain behaviors and ways of looking at the world to the point where every person that has had contact with this ‘culture’ of watching movies or reading books or ‘admiring’ artists has had that point of self-identification toward them as if they represented something noble in fact to copy or integrate as a role model or something to aspire to – which might be in certain cases – but in my own experience this is how I learned to be comfortable with violence, decay and pushing the boundaries of what I would deem as ‘acceptable’ based on the idea that the more the envelope was being pushed within me, the more ‘in’ or ‘Avant-garde’ I could become myself, which is nothing else but just having pushed myself to make even the most hideous things ‘acceptable’ and part of subcultures which I did had a reticence to accept as ‘normal’ yet, because of seeing the amount of people that would like certain kind of images or personalities or so called paraphilias, then I believed that we had to embrace our ‘evil’ or our ‘dark side,’ and all of this knowing within myself that it wasn’t really ‘okay’ but because it is part of our society then, I made it ok on purpose so as to not seem ‘out of the loop’ with what my ‘culture’ seemed to be moving on to.

 

Something that I begun noticing from the time that I began watching cable TV which is 20 years ago, is that at least in something like MTV everything started becoming more and more outrageous to the point of scandalous and plain degenerated, however it was made ‘cool’ because of the idea of ‘art’ and ‘avant-garde’ and post-modernism and all of these tags that I actually believed were pretty much ‘in tune’ with what we are witnessing in our societies, not realizing that within looking at what was first the chicken or the egg, they simply represented more ways to continue ‘shocking’ ourselves and accepting violence, depravation, sexual morbidity, the lack of any values as something that was part of ‘my generation’ and so actually beginning to also see myself as part of that ‘lostness’ that was portrayed everywhere and the lostness that sought to get high, to have sex, to ‘live life’ through alcohol and feeling like there is no way out in this life other than becoming a junky or ultimately commit suicide as it was staged to be seen from some of our generation’s pop-culture heroes like Kurt Cobain  – I mean all of these personality traits somehow I felt Identified with it to the point wherein you can look at my book collection, and a great amount of them will have the topic of drugs, dharma bums, of spiritual outcasts, off-griders, shockers like Miller, Burroughs, Ellis, Bukowski and the usual Sartre just to make myself push my own boundaries. No matter how much they seemed to ‘tell the truth’ it could also be them supporting these personalities and making them ‘known’ to everyone else as ‘how the youth is’ which is a double way to portray reality and reinforce the same patterns/behaviors/traits which are not necessarily self-supportive. I didn’t find any ‘truth’ or practical self-supportive views on life in them – the same as with Coupland or Palahniuk’s book through which I would rather confirm my supposed state of ‘outcastism’ I caged myself in, no matter how much I enjoyed them, it was all just programming reinforcement – all of it just served as sugar for my personalities, to upgrade them and upgrade the addiction.

“Outcasts may grow up to be novelists and filmmakers and computer tycoons, but they will never be the athletic ruling class.”
Chuck Klosterman, Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs: A Low Culture Manifesto

 

There you go, our ‘truths’ made quotes.

 

 

Here’s to my process of self-debrainwashing:

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever define myself according to the characters I enjoyed in books, the artists and their attitudes such as standing ‘against the system’ while actually denigrating themselves to a low-lifestyle just to ‘not depend on a government’ for example, which is just the same mentality of ‘the dreamers’ and the people that so-called could stand ‘free’ or ‘be the resistance’ and ‘never fit in’ through creating art, without realizing that this mentality of ‘the outcasts’ – of which I read several books on – the ‘rebels,’ the ‘anti-system’ musicians, the depressive mentalities that I became so engulfed in to the point where I missed my own life while just becoming addicted to feeling ‘down’ wherein I have found it difficult to allow myself to enjoy myself, just because of how much I reinforced my pessimism, my gloomy view on life based on the types of preferences that I developed as a child from age 7 and on, within the idea that this was the ‘cool stuff’ that I had to make myself like that ‘fringe’ side of reality just because I initially would be shocked by it to the point wherein I would go from the fear/shock to the attraction and then integration of it as part of ‘who I am.’ In this I was aware how I went ‘pushing my own envelope’ for the purpose of being special, being unique since people my age as my peers weren’t ‘into the stuff’ that I was into back then, which made me feel that I could see beyond the happy-go-lucky mentality and that somehow the dark and mysterious was ‘more real,’ which in a way it is just defining myself according to the good/bad essential separation mentality in which we have caged ourselves throughout ages, to always be in conflict with one another and within ourselves.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I was being ‘true to myself’ by being a rather pessimist person and with an obscure view on life based on what I saw was also ‘con-firmed’ by others like writers, musicians, filmmakers that I believed could ‘understand me’ but in fact we were all just acting out on our emotions and feelings and not really doing anything else other than what we were meant to do, such as feeling helpless to do anything for our lives and world, following our preprogrammed personalities while using ‘culture’ as a way to justify our copy-paste of ‘trends,’ personalities, ideas, beliefs, preferences and then! Even dare to create relationships based on these preferences, which is something I did and that I consider many people do, which is once again only creating relationships and ideas of ourselves based on what has kept the entire ‘show’ running as is without opening up real possibilities for change, because in holding on to this so-called ‘art’ and ‘culture’ I was in fact limiting myself from seeing the actual potential we have as real self-creation, which is then stopping following ‘the leaders’ and ‘trends’ that are manufactured or trying to ‘fit into’ certain personalities, but instead focus on changing the starting point of everything we do/act/speak on, changing our lives from copycats to self-creative individuals without any need for ‘external reinforcement’ to do so.

 

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to focus on all ‘the bad’ and that which I believed we refused looking at or realizing as a way to ‘wake us up’ but now, that’s also become part of ‘the norm’ and so developing a kind of ‘resistance’ or immunity to any form of shock, which is why I realize that utilizing images to shock even more is just not doing the work any longer. This is then about developing new ways that involve thinking out of the box as in thinking outside of the morality of the good vs. the bad and start focusing on living principles within our self-creative abilities.

I realize that in order to create any life-supportive art, the creator itself must walk through this deconstruction process him/herself so that one is deliberately then willing to contribute with one’s words, action to the creation of a world that is best for everyone as our common aim at this moment in our world. And this will imply also the exposure of the fallacies that we have revered as our history, and so forgiving that past fuckup and see it for the propaganda that it was as a creation of ‘the winners’ in the world, and so build a new culture of life that involves self-education, self-improvement through learning more about what it means to live within Self-Honesty and learn how to honor each other as life. This is not ‘uncool’ this is what we have pushed ourselves to see as ‘uncool’ or ‘outdated’ but that’s the key to a genuine change in our mentality and so in our reality.  We need books, we need films, we need music, we need plays, we need visual works that can be tools of support for this process of self-revelation or ‘the revelation’ process which can also expose the art of the past for what it was, what was its purpose, its consequences and so make each other aware that we have collectively used something as culture to continue ‘pushing the envelope’ and not questioning further the type of fascinations or addictions that we simply came to ‘embrace’ as part of our lives as that would make us ‘avant-garde’ or ‘keeping up with our times’ in the illusion of progress, which were in fact fabricated for the purpose of preventing us from actually focusing on that which matters, which is getting to know ourselves, developing self awareness and becoming individuals that can genuinely break the patterns from the past in all aspects of ourselves as there is nothing I can hold any form of respect, devotion or admiration from ‘our culture’ in the past, because we didn’t use it to share with each other how to actually live and become our fullest potential as species.

I now understand this ‘letting go’ of something that I had wanted to hold on to as part of my self-definition. And I can see that this is part of the ‘programming’ that I had to shed over time which in itself is part of my process in order to not only see it as ‘preprogramming’ but understanding how this culture that I had become fond of was never meant to support ourselves and each other to realize ourselves as life. This is what we have conditioned each other to by our own acceptance and allowance and such, it is now when I decide to understand more about the world-system picture so that I stop revering that which was never meant to be supportive for life.

 

 

brainwashed

 

Support yourself to learn more about the Culture of LIFE:


339. Value in Equal Money

 

We imposed a fictional, delusional and abusive in nature system of Values in order to ponder the right to extort, control, create ‘power’ and neglect the immanent Equality that exists as the Life that everything and everyone is made of, the Matter of the Earth that is our Equality as Life. It is only in our Mind that we schemed a way to divide and conquer to have ‘More’ than others and transform it into our current Value System that is existent upon everything and everyone the moment we define something or someone in separation of ourselves as Equals.

 

Continuing:

 

Problem                                                                

  • The Value of Life as the Value of Money is currently not an equal and one Best for All equation because Money is not existent as an Equal and One best for All equation but is instead a fabricated set of values imposed onto physical reality to create the necessary fetishism around and onto the matter of the Earth, human beings and the labor that he/she inputs onto the matter in order to create what we use and require to live.

 

  • The reason why this ‘taxonomy of values’ exist is to create a definitive disparity between the matter of the Earth and the Value imposed by Man in order to have a way to control, manage/ administrate what is Of the Earth that we use to live – but most importantly, the Values of the Human imposed onto things and labor that transforms the matter into a commodity and labor into an asset are ways to create the necessary limits and conditions to ensure that some would be able to have control over resources/raw materials/land/matter of the Earth, over the People that work on it/laborers/slaves/workers in order to maintain a level of activity that is force-fed by this ability to have power and control in this man-made system of values where Money instead of being equated to Life in Equality, Money was equated to the Strive to Live, the controlled/fixed Scarcity, the character of value imposed onto things in order to make them be ‘More Worthy’ than others – which then implies that the labor of such ‘more worthy’ items would also be More Valued than others.

 

  • But what is it that changed, really? The matter of the Earth is the same in everything an everyone, it is that which everything is made of – that is our Equality as Life, that is Why the Value of Life is Equal an as such it should be Given and Received to and by everyone in this Equality premise – yet, it is not because individual self interest as the experience of ‘having more’ than others took precedence over any common sensical organization in our reality.

 

  • The Labor, the work force onto things to turn them into products is equal in nature no matter what the product is, because there is no physical determination that explains how a piece of gold is worth more than a grain of corn – based on our Physical Common Sense understanding of Equality as Life, there is no immanent value to gold being ‘more’ than corn, this is only the human mind imposed onto physical reality to create a deliberate form of abuse through this inequality of values upon the matter of the Earth, which we are Also equal to as human physical bodies, as everything and everyone that exists here. Nothing was born with a price tag in it, nothing had a bar code from the moment of its birth of the Earth.

 

  • The imposition of this Belief System of Values is based on the human mind, the human experience attached and imposed onto the matter of the Earth that is transformed into products/items that are required to live in this world. It is nonetheless, a belief system – no different to the money system that we have wherein the origin of the current exchange rates can be traced back only to being an ‘agreement’ where no public plebiscite took place, no democratic schemes were involved in the creation of money – we merely complied to it first as a way to have a ‘practical manner’ to trade goods and services, which later on was transformed throughout time in a profit making scheme in itself as a Money-making business wherein Banks are currently the Corporations that have the actual control over people and the world, because we have all complied to this Values System that has its origin in Money and created the outflow of the society we now live in, where the Experience, the characterization of Life is what defines what is worth more.

 

  • This ‘Characterization’ of life, this imposition of a Value-System in separation of life is what our Economy is currently guarding and looking after  – there is No Common Sense in Economy, there is No Common Sense in our Social and Political schemes because the Value of Life is not considered Equal in All that exists in All ways. This is the most basic way to understand and realize to what extent the current ‘madness’ and ‘crisis’ in this world is originated by each one of ourselves in our mind the moment we accepted and allowed to give Life a Value other than Equality in separation of each other in means to abuse, control and hold an Illusion of Power. This is our demise.

 

Solution                                                           

  • We don’t have to ‘get rid of money’ or ‘get rid of values’ to now Equalize ourselves, we just have to establish the Ways to Ensure that this Value of Life is respected and honored by each other – yet at the same time, practical in numerical values for the purposes of organization and administration. The value of money in Equality can only exist as the representation for practical purposes of giving and receiving Life in Equality.

 

  • Equal Money – either in Equal Money Capitalism or the Equal Money System – implies the Equalization of that which is able to provide life as the symbol that Money represents. Once again it is vital to understand how Words hold the Key to understand the Values/Meaning/Worth imposed onto Life based on human intellect that exists as the ‘taxonomy of life’ in order to differentiate but also to appreciate what is worth ‘more’ than other things/people/actions/places in order to form the necessary arena that has been used to generate fear, abuse and control. This will be solved by understanding that Value in itself is a fallacy, a belief system that we can get rid of by correcting the relationships of inequality created by such signification of Money over life/ value in separation of life itself.

 

  • Equal Value as Life created as a Monetary system, as an Economic and Political system means that there will be no way nor need to abuse, control or deliberately manipulate each other for the sake of ‘having more’ or having power, because everyone will understand that what is Here of the Earth is a Given-Life that we have abused to make our personal interests ‘real’ through the value-systems we crafted/created and imposed to violate the Physical Law of Equality and turn it into a system of abuse where ‘profit’ is able to exist as the result of fixing prices, fixing numbers and positions in money game to ensure only a few have access to it. The abuse/inequality toward the Life that we have diminished to a commodity, to an asset and sold with numbers on a price tag is what we are here to restore to its equal condition with which it was given, it was ‘already here,’ and that is simply No Value in fact exists other than Life itself – what’s worth ‘more’ or ‘less’ is only  a product of the human mind, that’s where the problem begun.

 

  • Equal Money represents and declares that the Value of Life is Life itself, that which is given, that which cannot be less or more other than the physical quantities we can measure it with, which is a Physical Measuring – not a Worth-Measurement.

 

To understand these physical measures, please read: Physic’s Journey To Life:

Day 10 – Fundamentals of Physics – 1.4 – Dimensional Analysis:

“Another example for a mistake in dimensional analysis we are all living is expressed in the current economic system, where we have created, and are living, the equation of life = money. we have equated the value of life to the value of money, thus, we have given life the value of money, but money and life do not have the same dimension, money is not alive, and doesn’t in fact, as a physical necessity, support life. Thus we must reevaluate our equation and see what is the source of our mistake, and to take self responsibility in allowing ourselves to see the outflow as manifested consequences of our mistake.

The result of the current equation as money = life has created a world that is driven through profit, as we have equated money to life, and thus the more money one has the more value their life has, and the less money one has the more struggle they will experience through trying to survive in a world that has taken the value of life and has diminished it to the value of money. As if to say that life has value only if you have money, if you don’t have money your life has no value. In the current system we can see the problem very clearly as so many people struggle to survive, as so many people are in fact slaves to the system, slaves to corporations that exist in the sole interest of making as much profit as they can, because that gives their life more value in the current equation we have all been living within.” – Maya Rote

 

  • Thus we create a system wherein the fundamental Value of Life is realized and translated into a new definition of what Money is an should be as a Symbol, a Character that denotes the Value, the Principle, the Physicality of what Life is in Equality and enables our the Ability to give and receive what we require to make our lives possible in the best way for everyone equally.

 

  • If we have already created an uber-complicated system to ensure profits and maximizing greed – which takes a lot of rigged terms, secrecy, bribery and the necessary fixed conditions to satisfy personal interests and gains in a ‘justifiable manner’ – we can for sure generate a new money system that is simplified to become a tool, a numerical value that is based on the Physical Agreement to Measure – but not ‘Value’ or ‘Worth’ in separation of life itself.  (See again: Day 10 – Fundamentals of Physics – 1.4 – Dimensional Analysis and the series “Fundamentals of Physics

 

  • This is the Common Sense that is not existent in any book other than those that previewed what a world in Equality could be – yet have never existed in a functional manner on Earth yet, it’s our time to start embracing these Physical Living Principles of Life in Equality.

 

Rewards                                                  

  • Your life, my life, every animal, plant, particle as everything that exists in this world recognized and Valued as Equal means that whichever we require to live will be given/ granted by virtue of requiring it to sustain the life that we are in a Symbiotic way – that means give as you would like to receive. This implies that valuing ourselves as life is equal to our ability to Respect, Honor, Take Self Responsibility and Participate in order to maintain and sustain this Equality System functioning wherein guaranteeing one’s well being will be looked after equal to everyone else’s well being.

 

  • The Equal Money System and Equal Money Capitalism will be structured in a way wherein everyone’s wellbeing is guaranteed equal to everyone else’s, because there will be no distinction on ‘deserving’ but instead ensuring that all parts are equally supported and equally participating in essence a participatory economy,  because we understand that this is the way to ensure the collective well being, harmony and happiness that every one has been longing for on Earth, we just haven’t given it to ourselves because: we have to learn how to coexist as Equals, to Integrate this Equal-Value of Life as ourselves and for that, the individual process to Remove the conditions of Characters as Values and Symbolism imposed onto life is an Educational one that we are already walking, so please Join us to take the first steps to disintegrate this Characterization of Life and Restore the Equal-Value as Life.

 

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Life Per-pose: is this how it’s ‘meant to be’?

Discovering God’s master plan can be rather stifling for the very first time when writing yourself to freedom seeing all that which we accepted and allowed in the name of ‘personal growth’ or ‘learning lessons in life’ within the acceptance of us having to go through this for some apparent mystical reason. Most of them are unacceptable acts of self-abusive nature that we as humans have kept us busy recreating as ‘our life’ while missing the actual factness of life as breath as the physical, here. This all began when reading this following quote and getting to the point of ‘debunking it’:

“There are no coincidences. Every event we experience and every person we meet has intentionally been put in our path to help raise our level of consciousness .” Cheryl Richardson

Then I realized that I used to think this way for a LONG time, finding all types of meanings to virtually ANYTHING in my world, making of my ‘life’ nothing else but a ‘puzzle’ wherein I’d be entertained enough all the time ‘placing it together’ or at least finding some type of ‘meaning’ to it all.

With this I mean that I sought for some type of ‘guidance’ and/or ‘divine clues’ a long time. I’ve kept written records of myself from the year 2000, beginning with petty notes of ‘going somewhere’ or having some major change in my life – which meant going to another school or having another ‘platonic love’ to write about – and within them all I was always ‘hoping for something to knock on my door to tell me the way to go’ and within this following the idea that whatever I ‘had to experience’ was related to some higher purpose.

Within seeking for ‘guidance’ I began searching for that ‘something’ that I had to ‘come across with’ to get to fulfill some kind of heaven-sent life purpose, I’ve scrapped off most of this as ‘who I am’ and I’m simply bringing it up here as it just re-emerged when taking this quote to write about it and before I place this quote on its deserved trash can, I have to take a look at how this type of statements actually enhanced my thoughts on there being a ‘meaning’, a ‘reason, a ‘purpose’ for anything/everyone I encountered myself with in this world.

Interesting that within this I never ever questioned myself why if I had to ‘follow a certain pattern’ never questioned the fact that it was a pattern and that it was already laid out before me – but anyways, I got my entertainment for several years on cherishing every single thing that could possibly mean ‘a piece in the puzzle’ that was ‘myself’ and ‘who I had to become’ which was someone that kept living ‘for the future’ and with various multiple future projections of myself in time, seldom being actually Here. I mean, when I was 10 years old I already wanted to be 20 to apparently ‘have all the fun I wanted to have as a grown up’ and this had only stopped since I’ve been walking this process, otherwise I’d probably still be picturing myself 10 years from now as a ‘realized person’ with whatever form of success I had sought to achieve before.

But the spiritual aspect of this came as I started getting to know of book writers, musicians and artists that had a similar vein and perspective on life which lead me to think ‘I’m on the right path’. Acquaintances would seem like ‘hints’ to the ‘next piece of the puzzle in my life’ which would become my ‘next thing to do’ – maybe this is why I dig that movie Memento that much because the guy ‘lives his life’ out of this apparent mission he’s got to fulfill and how we build ourselves as memories with attached value/ meaning to create ‘who we are’.

Every person that I got to know I’d know the exact days and numbers and in which ‘era’ of myself I was in, I was quite an obsessed freak on all types of seemingly rubbish data that would mean ‘the world’ to me. Every relationship that I had as the aspects that I thought I had to ‘walk through ‘ to eventually ‘get somewhere else’ became quite the ‘living-pattern’. This brings me back to stuff like tarot, the movie PI probably ignoring at that time how I had become fixated on such type of movies because I had sought to create of my life my own alchemist journey wherein at the end of it all, all the suffering, all the mistakes, all the sadness and despair that I over indulged and created for myself as my own life-story would’ve made ‘sense’ and would finally get some type of reward – such as getting to the source of it all and becoming an enlightened being of sorts forever leaving behind the physical coil that I had despised and disregarded for so long. I mean, ‘this mortal coil’ became one of those sentences that marked my view of myself as my world and thus seeking always something else separate from myself to ‘get somewhere else’ but here.

From this I created a literal ‘story in the making’ of my own life, through my own writings, through the stuff that I’d create, the pictures I’d take in a compulsive manner as to keep those moments in my memory as ‘who I am’ and as a reminder of whatever experience I had created for myself in that moment were also considered as the type of ‘divine sign’ as being in ‘this time and space in this particular moment’ which means =  ‘I must be on the right path!’. Literally, to this I can add how I’d be seeing patterns of numbers everywhere all the time, seeing eyes in the sky – without ever understanding how it is that we program ourselves to do that, well my mother explained me a bit on that but I denied the common sense presented as in such plain grounded words as ‘you’re creating it yourself’ because I wanted to preserve such mysterious side of my life as my own story-to-tell that would have this marvelous finale someday.

From every experience I would think  that ‘there was something to learn’, there must be ‘something more to it than that which I can understand at the moment’. Within this mindset I accepted and allowed myself to be in relationships wherein I’d get to experience a lot of self-acceptance through others while  suffering by their side, in a way believing that I had to pay some ‘karma’ about that or that I had somehow given up on myself at some point and now it was my turn to save people – yes this is called the saviour syndrome and we’ve walked it for quite some time through this process as well.

This became  a literal experience when I’d have male friends that were mostly ‘social outcasts’ for whatever reasons people and themselves would cage themselves in –either due to sexual preferences, schizoid and erratic addictive behaviors, bum-like creatures that spoke like poetry all the time, people that were usually  judged and that not many could ‘stand’ for a long period of time but myself. Once I had my ‘partner/friend/lover whatever living with my best gay friend lol that was quite a fascinating time wherein I literally thought that this was ‘meant to be’ for me to become the person that stands as the reason why none of them has finally pulled the trigger to blow their heads off = “I was meant to be there!” Oh god…

So, I started seeing myself as a ‘healer’ – or rather like a nurse as a someone that wanted to help people while creating this ever-glowing aura around myself. This personality was also supported by these guys around me and other people that I’d meet with whom I started behaving like in a ‘guru style’, becoming more of a light and lover easy-going ‘silent’ person which would be mostly submissive and accepting tantrums from my friends/relationships as something that ‘must had a meaning/ purpose/ reason to be in my life’, I’d mindfuck myself as far as ‘I must develop tolerance and patience to deal with these people, this is what I’ve chosen and I’m not aware of it, so I accept and comply to it” –

For this I applied the nonsensical idea that I had to pay for probably having been such a deranged lunatic in some other life and now having to be the one that ‘takes care of such beings that were ‘me’ but in this life’. I mean, what a masterpiece of a holy-wood movie I built of myself, and this we all do every time we seek to create these stories that would someday apparently ‘have any meaning’ to know who or what we are and what we’re supposed to be doing here in this world, that ‘lifepath’ and purpose in life thing would drive me crazy, always wanting to know ‘what I was supposed to be doing’ and thus placing trust in everything outside of myself to ‘guide me to it’ – never realizing self direction in any moment.

I actually accepted any type of emotional turmoil from myself and others around me as ‘lessons to be learned’ as points that I had to accept as part of my life due to me having misbehaved in the past. I accepted myself to be tied and bound to relationships just because I feared ‘losing myself’ as all the self-created value/worth that I had built around myself in relation to these particular persons and that others had accepted as ‘who I was’ which had to do with others ‘depending on me to keep going’ – kind of making of myself the necessary nurse that ‘must be by their side’ otherwise they’ll sink into depression and die. Even my family would make fun of me taking food to my friends and being there like the nurse to make sure they’d take their antidepressants and would have enough weed to not go into erratic behaviour and hissy fits with other people, to ensure that I’d stand for as long as it would take them to slow down and come back to senses. I obviously wasn’t living my life at all, I was living as someone else’s shadow going through the same cycles of asking ‘how are you’ hoping to hear ‘I’m okay’ instead of ‘same as always’.

I am exposing this because this is obvious self abuse that I accepted and allowed as myself – I was going to write ‘that I endured’ but that’d be self-victimization which became sort of like the usual ‘martyr’-personality wherein I literally thought that I had to suffer to make any real art, that I had to suffer to really know what ‘life is about’, that I had to endure pain and any form of disgrace for the sake of knowing my limits and thus ‘strengthen’ my resolution to be a ‘loving being’ in a dream-like state of life where ‘nothing would bother me’, where I would’ve found all the ‘keys and secrets to life’ after having lived a life that would seem no different to an esoteric monopoly game of hints, ups and downs that were apparently ‘part of the plan’.

Such ‘masterplan’ of my life  was never master in fact and it was a preprogrammed plan for us to be entertained within our own personal mythologies that we decided to cultivate as the seeking of meanings, codes, symbols or any other trivial fact that would become part of the beads to tie into a single chain that would have some coherence at some point in our lives, without ever seeing how we had missed life, the actual ‘beingness’ of being here, embracing ourselves as the physical when going into a dimensional shift of a ‘someday’-situation  being alright, of being finally ‘in paradise’.

I must say that after these years I’ve made quite a ‘progress’ in letting go of creating this type of ‘coincidences having any meaning’ in my life and making of myself just as another character that I would often indulge into within reading and losing myself into it which I would then try to correlate to the events I’d have in my own life. Now I’ve simplified my living to directing it here as the moment instead of bouncing back and forth into a past that seemed like the usually tagged ‘good old times’ wherein I’d feed my premature nostalgia and/or dream of a future wherein I would apparently be settled and ‘knowing what I’m here fore’ for whatever ‘divine’ reason it’ would be.

Every time that we see ourselves saying ‘it had to be this way’, ‘it happened for some reason’, ‘this things don’t happen by accident’ – Oh right, there’s another movie I can relate to this single point in how ‘orchestrated’ our entire reality was to the point of being sarcastically tragic, that’s ‘Magnolia’ and I’d confer this as one of my favorite movies because of how they depicted a series of seemingly unimportant events getting to a climatic intricate cross-wired story-telling that develops into a resolution of realizing how fragile we as human beings are when we are pray of our emotions/ feelings as well as being subject to death, tragedy and seemingly unfathomable natural events that could twist even the most ‘grounded head’ around for a second look. In the movie they emphasize how ‘things cannot be simple coincidences or random accidents, but would have some intricate unfathomable explanation that would mostly point out to a ‘god’ being the master puppeteer of them all, one sick god for the matter of this this movie and the nature of events that take place.

This is what I now realize but I’d solace myself to  think that all of this life would also make sense at the end, which is how I kept me in an idle status of hoping and ‘waiting’ for something/someone to come and ‘save me’ – lol even the main song for that movie’s soundtrack is called ‘Save me’ by Aimee Mann. This correlates to when my secret desire to ‘meet god’ grew bigger and my indulgence in conspiracy theories and end of the world stories began ‘ringing like bells to my ears’ as it would – at least – give me the sensation of ‘being somewhere near to the truth’ while neglecting the obvious truth of myself that I had accepted and allowed while existing in such constant ‘seeking for a momentum’, ‘seeking for such relationship that would be a key-point to my reality’, seeking for a meaning behind anything from a sequenced number on my microwave to a ‘glaring eye’ in the sky  that I would stumble upon, everyone I met that I thought I’d had to ‘meet’ and take something from to make myself…

Now:

Imagine millions living like this with all of this networks of information that we go storing as ‘who we are’ – no wonder we’ve created of this world as a stage to ‘gain the contest’, ‘run the quest’ for something, as a continuous seeking and ‘exploring’ everything and all that could ‘bring me a little closer to god’ in whatever form and sensation it would make itself present.

The moment I realized I had to stop this continuous self-creation as the ‘special character in the movie’ I’d perceive myself to be dead, a ‘goner’, idle and empty which was only me stopping from feeding my mind into these continuous self-created self-fuck mind-propulsion that sought a ‘new mystery’ every time to debunk and occupy myself in this as part of ‘seeking to find myself’ Lol, fascinating how much we disregarded our physical reality while existing in such a constant invisible surrounding bubbles as our minds filled with words, pictures , memories that could eventually mean something to myself or someone else for the sake of obtaining a ‘greater communication with the whole’ or whatever I would define ‘god’ to be, seeking to stitch all the moments and ‘get the final picture’ at the end of it all, like a quilt that I could then cover myself with and be at ‘peace’.

Once we look back and see how self support is always here as Breathe, we can laugh at all the intricacies and details that we’ve kept for the sake of ‘following such path’ and seeking a greater connection to it all.

I recognize this is the type of writing that allowed me to have a sense of self-recognition as all that I have accepted and allowed myself to become within my ‘personal history’ and place this process into perspective to see how I’ve gone from existing in such a limited frame of only building my own character and my own stories for the sake of my own indulgence in the existence of some ‘greater truth’ to be discovered – and now have a sense of realization with regards to how limited I had been living when only seeking my ultimate fulfillment and pleasure while disregarding the entire world and whatever was going on through such times when I became self-centered all the way.

Part of spirituality is the promotion of this individualism wherein apparently you are encouraged to ‘let go of your ego’ while promoting the creating of yourself as some type of ‘divine act of god’ that would have some grand meaning after all the shake ups and fuckups would’ve been walked and blindly accepted and allowed  without ever realizing: wait a minute, I can actually stop myself from supporting this, I can actually support myself to not participate in these constant search for something ‘greater’ than myself, I can actually be here without desiring to become something, attain something or seek for someone but instead face myself and embrace myself.

When living in this constant search for meaning and purpose we miss what’s here which is to be breathed, we miss the reality that we exist as while existing in an apparent ‘better past’ and moving into the future hoping that you’re able to ‘make it through’ this life. It is through this non-self acceptance of ourselves as ‘this mortal coil’ that we remain believing that there is some ‘intention’ behind our lives, hence that there is some marvelous being watching our back. It was never a god, it was just a fucked up program designed to keep us generating feelings and emotion to power some creator’s ideal of ‘heaven’.

Now what we’ve hit the ground, we can stop drifting off to some alternate reality see that there is no meaning, no purpose no ‘intention’ behind this to seek other than the intention and direction as the purpose of life to create a world that’s best for all, because there’s nothing else to do really and we’ve neglected this for such a long time that it’s only fair we dedicate this life to make it a reality.

There is no ‘raising of consciousness’ available in your local white-light store (not the apple one) anymore – that’s all gone. What remains is here as breathing fleshy-bloody living human beings that has only each moment to establish ourselves as life. We shut down all the superior-god ideas being possible within this reality and focus on the matters of this world of which there are many points to take care of so that we can move as human beings from our self-dug cave of enlightenment.

Wake up!

and thanks for reading up to here.

Please read Sunette’s explanation and perspective on this quote which certainly is the great point of direction required once we’ve realized the fuckups that we’ve accepted as ‘our life’ and reality:

Relationships are no “Coincidence”

Consciousness is the grid of enslavement that we believed ‘had to be raised’ – what a mindfuck.

Get to know the real story of our existence at Desteni


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