“Freedom of choice is now protected by the individual as it feels like it is free –in spite of the evidence to the contrary and even when it rebels– it only do so in ways that do not impede with its special comforts and thus –the system is safe from the group as the individual now act as a group through what it buys or watch on TV. So –you fear to lose COMFORT and CHOICE to BUY stuff” – Bernard Poolman
Continuation of the Elite Character
I would judge people that would only spend their time focusing on ‘what to wear, what party to attend, calling their friends, sitting on their couch watching TV, going shopping, etc. which I deemed to be activities that only people that have no survival problems can participate on – however, I was obviously projecting the problem outside of myself and taking on again the ‘Self Righteous’ aspect of judging others, pointing fingers and blaming because it’s much easier to Blame than take Self Responsibility and see where and how I was doing exactly the same processes – different conditions, different scenarios but same starting point: having money, not worrying about having to ‘make a living’ and instead believing that through my wits and intellectualization of reality, I could create a difference in this world.
Well, what did I get from those endless hours of sitting sipping coffee with sociologists, writers, economists, poets, artists and plain dissidents of the system? Nothing else but always ending up with a feeling of ‘powerlessness’ while not having to worry much about it at the end of the day, because hey at least we were having money and studies to live, I see how even within that the point of change was projected ‘there’ in the future, never ever pointing fingers back to ourselves, I was so high up on my horse about blaming the system that I simply was absolutely getting an energetic kick out of it. All we would eventually realize is that money determined everything and that no intention of change will do a single thing, nor criticizing will do a thing either which is part of what I was exploring yesterday in terms of the opposition of the system, of which I obviously participated in.
I was comfortably wanting to become part of the elitist groups of intellectuals that could speak about reality as politics, economics, culture ‘from head to toe’ and be revered for that while earning good money from the system for doing so – because of what I had seen some others in my reality doing – however never in fact becoming an active part of proposing a solution, because even then I was still only wanting to do it as a form of ‘resistance’ and ‘exposure’ which is how many of our current intellectuals and well-versed people can have ‘all the knowledge and information about how the system works’ – this being within the current available considerations that fall short when it comes to a holistic understanding of reality – and can even propose great sounding theories of how to create a change – but missing out the point of ourselves, who we are as the mind, how the world system is an outflow and consequence of this relationship of ourselves to our own mind has been absolutely missed.
Most of these theories are never taken to an actual political implementation, since they end up within certain groups/ factions of society that only seek to create a constant ‘war’ and opposition to the ‘establishment’ as a source of self-empowerment, without realizing how there will be absolutely No change in reality if we remain only blaming others, finding flaws without understanding the cause of such flaws, sipping our coffee in long hours of discussing the system, in conventions and global forums to ‘discuss the problems’ without proposing tangible solutions, or going to protest and then hooking up with friends to party, or raging against the system of which one is also being able to eat from; all of this reveals to what extent money is also a condition that allows us to ‘rebel’ only and be concerned in self—interested ways to make an apparent ‘change’ in this world, while being rather absolutely ignorant to the actuality of the process that must take place in order to Really in Fact consider even what an actual change in this world would require, which is at all times: ourselves, focusing at this moment on the individual and realizing that no matter how long it takes, education is the key here, and that as long as we continue diverting our efforts to seek to create a point of ‘opposition’ from our safety zones of ‘opposition’ and ‘dissidence,’ nothing will change.
So, it became rather part of the main branches of my personality, wanting to Remain within my comfort zone while taking on a seemingly ‘critical position’ toward the system, keeping my benefits, keeping my security and protection that money gives me, having the ability to ‘study lots’ to have all careers necessary to ‘empower’ myself as a knowledgeable Act without Acting it out – this is how when getting to Desteni and realizing that I would Actually have to do it became quite a blow to my ego, and I can say that in this regard, I am barely only stepping within my own realization of what does it meant to really Do everything it takes/ whatever it takes to live out the words I am speaking here – otherwise, it would be no different to sipping coffee, theorizing about reality and expecting ‘world change’ to come while I remain in my comfort zone.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I could ‘change the world’ while holding on specifically to that which would ensure that every step that I take toward such apparent ‘change’/ revolution would not disturb my security and comfort zone within my reality, which implies: not allowing my own criticism toward the system to compromise my position, which is then being and becoming the absolute walking paradox, deliberately ignoring how it was only because of money that I was able to have the time to read and chat and educate myself about the system and direct such knowledge and information ‘against the system’ while also seeking to educate myself ‘more’ within the system to create further opposition/ criticism to it within a position of ‘respect’/academicism which is like wanting to use weapons to end a war – which does happen in our reality – and so, it reveals the level of ignorance we have accepted and allowed ourselves to deliberately create in order to ensure that We are Not affected by that which we are complaining about – this is within the standing point of the specific character of the educated/elitist antagonist of the system.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to actually initiate such desire to ‘oppose the system’ from a vantage point of having money, having a good life and only wanting to seek to do some ‘justice’ for the people mostly because of wanting to become a particular character in my society wherein I would still remain in a position of comfort/ power and ‘support others’ as well, which reveals how I was not willing to fully let go of my self interest and desire to remain in a comfortable position in order to create a point of change in this world, and I see and realize how this has been ‘the point’ that I have accepted as a limitation, because of still wanting to have the ‘good life’ at all times, which then becomes just another way of wanting change while holding on to an aspect of that which is required to be changed, because of fearing losing the comfort and general ability to buy/ consume/ fulfill my desires and in such point, I give into the same cycle of self interest that exists when considering having to do whatever it takes to create a point of change in this world, which certainly begins with myself and the decisions and Choices I have at the moment.
Within this, I commit myself to ensure that I am not deliberately wanting to stick to my point/ zone of comfort in order to remain ‘safe’ and ‘protected’ by the money that I have as a point that must be feared to let go of, and instead remind myself how Self Interest is The point that has always stood in front of any actual full-blown decision to stand as an immovable example of self-correction in this word. Thus,
I commit myself to investigate where and how Self Interest exists within me, maybe not in the form of luxuries or comfort as money, but also as a point of further responsibilities and preparation that is required for me in order to stand as part of the actual change in this world system.
More to come.
Day 205: After Death Communication – Part 53 – Must Read