Tag Archives: thinker

92. Thinking = Metaphysics

How deep is your thought? Is it really ‘out of reach?’ or are mysteries another way to keep us occupied in our minds? Is thinking a hobby? A blatant way to keep us enter-tamed?

Fathomless
1    [usually with negative] understand (something) after much thought.
2    measure the depth of.


 

I just became aware of how we can feed each other’s experience within just being here wherein thinking becomes a mental masturbation, trying to ‘grasp’ our understand reality. Now, I had talked about this before in the Stoned Philosopher – and this is something similar – however the point here is indulging into the act of analyzing and thinking in itself as a way to understand, wanting to make sense instead of seeing common sense.

 

Hell, this knocks hard on my guts as I have throughout my life delved so many times in the ‘unfathomable’ and then resorting to THINKING to make sense of it all. So the point here is to walk how I have tried to ‘Make Sense’ of something instead of walking it breath by breathe – knowledge will never be life, because knowledge was in itself the very consequence of our awareness being in separation of self here.

 

Now, I definitely recommend listening to the interviews ‘The Secret History of the Universe to understand this point. To me, ‘the ‘thinker’ it was a ‘profound revelation’ = another character- that I gave too much value to, so much that I heard the interview #6 about 6 times already, something I had not done with others before. So, within this the ‘fathomless’ character which I had specifically defined according to and toward ‘the origin of ourselves’ was being debunked in my ears, just like that – and that was a ‘shocker’ to my personality that would rejoice trying to ‘grasp’ things with thoughts in my mind.

Now, it’s cool that the word came up, because it had become ‘me’ so much that I was not even looking at it. Yet, it is thinking, it is ‘trying to understand’ and ‘grasp’ in separation of myself here.

 

Hence, Self Forgiveness ladies and gentleman.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become the ‘fathomless character’ that I used to resort to every time that I would indulge in wondering and trying to ‘find out’ truths of the universe and our existence, creation in an attempt to ‘make sense’ of myself through thinking, without ever realizing that thinking in itself is separating self from here as self-awareness as a whole, wherein ‘awareness’ then became only knowledge and information that I used as a way to intellectualize my reality and within that, missing everything that is HERE as myself, as reality, as the physical and only believing that ‘through thinking I would get to the truth of it all.’

 

When and as I see myself resorting to knowledge and information in separation of myself to try and attempt to ‘make sense’ of myself and my reality, I stop and I breathe. I realize that knowledge and information in separation of myself is just another way to keep me occupied in my mind while missing what is here. I realize that every point that I am able to understand about myself exists here as myself – there is no separate point that I can ‘seek to attain’ as that would be the character seeking its fuel to continue existing, which I am not.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create this fathomless character when I was a child and learning how to read, picking up a book about the universe and the space travels and within that, generating this fathomlessness experience within me wherein the thought of the universe overwhelmed me and deciding that ‘I would never ever get to grasp who we are/ how big is the universe/ get to know the universe itself’ and in that, becoming a ‘thinker’ throughout my life wherein from this premise of separating myself from what is here through thinking and making ‘the thought’ of the universe as More than myself, I became a seeker of the truth, seeker of knowledge in an attempt to understand who I am, why I am, how I am through knowledge and information outside of myself, instead of Looking into Myself.

 

When and as I see myself stepping into the fathomless character and experiencing myself to be ‘overwhelmed with knowledge,’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am separating myself from here and that I do not require to make of knowledge and information as something separate from myself in order to ‘make sense’ of who I am. Who and What I am does not require to be ‘made sense of,’ but simply walked, lived and understood upon practical living and self-introspection through writing, applying self-forgiveness and establishing myself here as the physical to really, in fact get to know me from the practical physical reality that is here as the totality of this world, beginning with my own mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become an analyst of myself, others and reality in separation of myself, believing that because I am able to ‘understand’ I am now more ‘empowered’ in a way which I am not, because who I really am is not knowledge and I have to instead realize that I have simply separated myself from understanding and realizing who I am because of having separated myself to live only as a mind consciousness system that works through knowledge and information in separation of the physical reality that is here – thus, I walk through the information and practical application thereof in order to ensure that what I realize and understand is able to support me to stop the ‘fathomlessness’ character and as such, occupy myself with the matters that are here in this world to be taken care of, which is the Reality that we have veiled through the illusion of the mind.  (Please listen to How Illusion became Reality for further context)

 

I realize that whenever I see myself not hearing here completely and absolutely to a interview, it is because I am trying to protect that which I had become to such an extent that it is almost like not wanting to take the mask off because of the value/ worth I had given to the character as myself, as self-definition.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that being an analyst, a ‘thinker’ was a natural ability to me and that it thus defined ‘who I am’ as a person that is able to ‘understand/ grasp more than others,’ which means that it became the egotistical character o ‘understanding’ in separation of self, as no knowledge and information can possibly make someone more than another-  yet within this I see that I complied to the rules of the system wherein  I learned that ‘knowledge is power,’ and a such believing that I was special and unique for having all these existential questions and eventually getting to the answers only to find out it had all been a blatant character mindfuck, which is pretty cool.

 

When and as I see myself stepping into the ‘thinker’ character when I am alone with myself and getting a kick of excitement when ‘understanding’ reality along with a sense of the opposite because there are no more ‘mysteries unsolved’ in my mind, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I am now simply being able to understand and equalize myself to that which I have always been and existed as – yet separated myself from when becoming just one single character in this character reality. This means that walking through knowledge and information that explains the reality of myself here is no more than who I am, it does not make special, it is only an opportunity to now stop my actual ‘kick’ such as indulging in mysteries and wonderings and trying to elucidate about reality, which had become a past time in itself in my life, thinking about the world, life, the universe and never even questioning such ‘thinking’ activity in itself, but considered that I was special because I was asking such questions myself.

 

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to create an entire personality out of ‘not being understood’ about my fascination with the universe and existence and pondering ‘where do I come from?’ ‘Who am I?’ ‘Why am I Here?’ which were the basic questions that got me into seeking answers as knowledge to ‘make sense of myself,’ seeking for solutions in separation of myself without ever even realizing that if we are all that exists then we are the origin, and as such, we would have to eventually realize who/ what we are as it is in ourselves – and instead focusing on removing the veils and conditions we have imposed onto ourselves and this world to not see the Reality – and instead realize that we veiled ourselves in order to continue existing only as an experience, instead of realizing ourselves as one and equal here.

Realizing ourselves as one and equal is a living-practical process, it cannot be taught onto another, it cannot be solved through knowledge and information – it can only be practically realized through getting to know ourselves as our own mind, seeing who we are in relation to others, to the environment, toward this entire world that we had separated ourselves from the moment that we became only this separate bubble of knowledge and information as the Awareness of self in relation to defining ‘who we are’ based on comparing/ contrasting/ differentiating ourselves from one another.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create an experience of ‘fuck! we missed it all the time’ and going into some instant kind of remorse or regret – whatever it is that came up in that moment – it is just another mind-created experience upon knowledge and information – thus

 

When and as I see myself listening to points wherein I realized to what extent we have separated ourselves from ourselves, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I have allowed a tendency to get infatuated with knowledge and information and with that, going into the ‘I missed it all’ type of experience based on not having been able to fulfill my desire to ‘know it all’ form the beginning, which is yet another character of ‘wanting to know it all,’ without taking into consideration that this is not about one individual knowing or understanding, but about realizing how we came to be who we are, how we came to ‘separate’ ourselves through knowledge and information from that moment that our awareness was directed in separation of another as ourselves.

 

Thus I realize that any experience that comes when getting information, stems from me going into a personal interest of ‘wanting to know it all’ in separation of myself, which is useless. I walk the point here to assist and support me to stop participation in further curiosity about the world, reality, who we are as it is quite obvious by now that there cannot be something ‘more’ than myself to be understood, but that these are practical points of support to understand How we got ourselves to the point we are in currently and through that, walking a physical living process to place that into application to finally see and realize and place into action our actual potential as creators, as expressions of what is and has always been here.

 

When and as I see myself going ‘deep in thought’ such as trying to fathom things in separation of myself in the physical moment, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I can only work/ walk what is here as myself in the physical moment – I instead ensure that I am not trying to go into ‘deep thinking’ based on wanting to avoid taking responsibility of myself in the physical moment and my physical reality, which is how the ‘thinking’ became a habit/ hobby in itself to escape reality.

 

I forgive myself that I have never ever accepted and allowed myself to realize how thinking had become a habit and a hobby in itself, wherein it would not matter that I was alone because I had my mind as ‘best friend’ to talk myself into multiple realities and outcomes trying to ‘understand myself’ and ‘make sense of myself,’ wherein I built a character of ‘thinking myself’ in itself, which is like meta-physics in itself, lol, going beyond the physical to try and understand ‘who I am’ as thinking, never realizing I was only going to perpetually loop around the same thoughts and the same programs as ‘thinking’ itself, which is not HERE as the totality of myself – yet.

 

When and as I see myself ‘rethinking’ the information and knowledge I am able to listen, I stop and I breathe – I realize that being HERE when and while reading/ understanding is sufficient to grasp the points that I require to grasp and that I do not require to make of this information something to ‘know’ but simply integrate it within myself as an understanding that supports me to stop the ‘incognita’ creating the ‘fathomless character’ within me.

Therefore, I walk through the material that is provided as self-support for what it is, wherein I see and realize that making it something ‘outstanding’ and ‘over myself’ is also ego and a character that tends to go into a positive experience as a ‘Eureka!’ type of realization that I then fuel by over-hearing something as if I could grasp ‘more’ than what is said in an attempt to make it something ‘great’ and ‘magnificent’ above myself, without realizing that: all that I am listening and hearing is part of who I am that I have separated myself from – thus it is no more than myself, it is only a point of support to see, realize and understand myself here.

 

I commit myself to stop thinking as a habit that goes into the ‘deep crevasses of my mind’ in an attempt to understand in separation of myself, as I realize that no knowledge and information can change ‘who I am’ already – and that I instead have to see how I have accepted and allowed myself to become knowledge and information in separation of myself here.

 

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Read the blogs at Journey to Life to find out why we are committing ourselves to walk out of our minds and establish ourselves as the physical, within the realization that it is in the awareness of ourselves as knowledge and information that this entire journey began.

Back to Nothingness

 

Thanks for reading.

 

I am made of the fabric of existence – Birthing Life from the Physical 2008

 

Blogs: 

 

Interviews to Understand what I was ‘pondering’ about here to stop all existential woes:

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64. Talents

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see my ‘talents’ as my greatest asset wherein all the value and worth that I gave to myself was linked to the ability to think and do things as a way to measure myself toward other beings.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see the word ‘talent’ as a positive word, as something that adds up specialness to a being, wherein it I just acting/ living that which is of ease for me to act, direct, do without an effort – hence I can direct any talent as an action that I can express myself as with ease toward a best for all outcome, and not just for personal glorification or ‘value’ above other life forms.

 

I realize that the word talent in itself means ‘weight’ and ‘sum of money’ which are added values that make ourselves ‘more’ than others – apparently – yet they are in essence points of expression that if equalized as life, each one can develop to the benefit of the whole and stop using talents as a way to compete against each other and ‘win’ as a form of superiority/ inferiority separation toward others, and instead use such talents as the ‘natural skills’ in the best interest of all.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to link self-worth to ‘talents’ and ‘skills’ wherein all that I became was this set of attributes that I could use as a reference point to compare myself toward other beings and decide whether I stood ‘above’ or ‘below,’ which is how my entire stance was created as a sense of confidence stemming from this ‘value-assessment’ toward other beings, wherein words from beings toward everything I did/ say were stored as confirmations of ‘who I was’ and ‘how I was doing’ in my life, which were conveniently used to grow my ego and my perceived talents in order to confirm to  myself: ‘that’s the way to go, because everyone agrees with it!’ without ever doing an actual introspection in my life with regards to how things in the world worked wherein all value is actually fake and in separation of ourselves, moving in a system of money that is existent as debt- hence

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to use the ‘vox populi’ as all the opinions and perspectives people had ‘upon me’ as a way to decide where I would be the most effective in my world, and assessing my future accordingly, without realizing that we as all individuals have been very lost in our world of values, directions and placing ourselves in unfortunate positions by our own ‘will’ which were choices based On the limitation that we created within ourselves as the inherent structure we are born with/ as, as the entire configuration of a world wherein life has never been valued but only ‘what you do’ to maintain the system of absolute abuse and disregard toward life in place.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever become so worried about ‘who and what I will become’ in my life when having to decide about the future as careers and life-choices without realizing that none of those ‘choices’ were in fact self-supportive as nothing of what currently exists in this world is directed to the benefit of all life in Equality as long as money dictates ‘who we are’ in our world. This means that as long as value is separate from ourselves as life, anything we do will be linked to perpetuating the same system of fake values in separation of ourselves as Equals – as I realize that only through first walking the process to Equalize myself can I remove the conditions I had imposed onto myself to start considering that we all have to become equal participants in taking responsibility of this world wherein through changing the way the system operates, we will be able to provide actual options of LIFE and self-development with activities and professions that are linked to be part of the creative processes to the best way of living as Equals, which is not at all considered in any profession or specialized field/area currently in our world.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give myself some ‘choices’ in life wherein I literally stood within the point of ‘the world is fucked, there is nothing else to do it, where can I be the least influenced ‘by the system’ while being in it?’ – hence using art and the art-profession as a way to ‘escape’ from reality yet still foreseeing to make ‘good money’ out of it, which was all placed as dreams and ideals that were essentially fallacies that I bought and created for myself in order to avoid taking actual Self-Responsibility for myself and this world in its entirety.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to use even dead as an excuse to not take responsibility for this world wherein I used o think ‘well, we’re going to die anyways so, what’s the worst thing I could choose to be/ become?’ – and using death thus as an excuse to continue seeing this world as having no remedy, being ‘hopeless’ about the entire panorama in in that, mostly abiding to the ideal ‘end times’ so that I didn’t have to even worry about developing myself properly with a certain profession/ position in the world, but only caring about my personal ‘spiritual’ salvation, which I really used to wreck my own life based on beliefs and hypothetical imminent events wherein it would all end, and still is a point that I walk through in order to not feel like all of this is not sustainable and will have to be obliterated in order to have life restored back to itself, which is not acceptable as in the meantime while I just think, there is actual suffering in the world created by my own aloofness toward reality.

 

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to misunderstand the point of ‘giving up’ my ego and personality as in giving up/ stopping participating in such ‘talents’ that even if they were preprogrammed, in no way does it mean that I have to now not participate in them at all, this is about WHO I am within everything that I do which means that I simply have to stop identifying myself as only being such talents and instead, allow myself to express myself through/ as such ‘talents’ without holding a relationship of value/worth toward them as a point of specialness

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to hold backchat toward beings in my past wherein I would think ‘they clearly have no sex, thus their mind and intelligence is all they have to brag about to feel better about themselves’ and in this, seeing that either being an intellectual devotee or a lover or a religious follower, they would all compensate one ‘realm’ of their reality not being ‘fulfilled’ with the exacerbation of one of their talents, without realizing that I was obviously doing the same wherein all I ever sought to be was an intellectual that would gather all this information, creating a relationship to this information and with this, cover up my inability to establish relationships that were supportive and any other self-agreement of self-support to first value myself as the life that I am here to be and become.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to compensate my perceived lack of personal-charm to establish proper relationships and use knowledge and information as the entire ‘intellectual personality’ to cover up for my other perceived ‘lacks’ or ‘flaws’ within my personal life, wherein I had accepted myself to become a hopeless romantic/ intellectual that could only philosophize about life and create more conundrums through art as if Life was this eternal mystery unsolved to me.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to justify any ‘detachment’ from people – a.k.a. isolation, ostracizing – as part of the personalities I created as a ‘thinker’ or ‘artist’ or ‘creative’ believing/ talking myself into the perceived ‘misunderstanding’ that I thought people in my world would see me as, which only fueled this perceived idea of me being ‘special’ and with this ‘something’ that I Hoped to develop in the future, believing that I would be something ‘great’ and ‘marvelous’ lol yet I never directed myself to place such ‘talents’ up front ‘on the table’ so to speak to see how I could direct myself with such ‘talents’ within the world, but I instead hoped and wished that something / someone would knock on my door and offer me this great position wherein I could satisfy my expectations, just because of believing myself to be this special being that could do well in ‘anything I wanted,’ which was fueled by what parents/ teachers/ people in my world would also talk about, which is to the utmost detriment of the being in question as it is only an air-based/ words-not-lived based expectation of another, built up with values and ideas of the same system that in no way considers what’s best for all life, but only what makes the most money/ what pumps the ego the most/ what creates further specialness as a point of separation from the whole, which is not acceptable at all.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to place my entire life depending on these ‘talents’ as knowledge and information consumed as ‘value’ in itself, wherein the more I would nurture myself within this intellectualized personality = the more I would ‘worth’ myself within the social-standards, creating this superiority position toward others, often engaging in intellectual debates just for the sake of ‘voicing myself’ and ‘making myself heard’ with No practical solutions or conclusions, but only adding up the cherry on top of the verbal diarrheic intellectual chats and endless coffee shop hours on philosophizing about life, politics, economics and judging others within such positions that I used to participate in.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever take the position of the ‘hopeless dreamer’ as ‘the artist’ that was ‘misunderstood’ and that had no relationship to anything else but brushes and paints and fellow ‘dead artists’ that I would read about in order to feel ‘understood,’ without realizing that I had not even established a proper self-relationship toward myself to see ‘who I am’ in relation to these talents first, if they were really talents or just personal fascinations that became a ‘way out’ of facing myself?

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to deliberately ‘choose’ an inclination of ‘who I wanted to become’ in life in a position wherein my looks would not matter that much, wherein I would not have to ‘deal’ with many people, and where I could just hide in some remote space for a long time and ‘disconnect myself from the world’ – which were the usual beatnik type of dreams of seclusion wherein I could just write and create artworks and music and only come out to ‘show it to the world’ after some time, which is one of the ‘dreams’ that I had wherein my then Zen enthusiasm and artistic endeavors filled my being with ‘hope’ and mostly illusion that I could in any way, change the world through my creations.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to hold dreams of detaching from reality, from everything and everyone not realizing that it is the same as desiring to be Dead as Nothing in this world exists in such ‘detachment’ of each other, otherwise my own body would not be able to function and continue existing, which is applied to the rest of this world existent in interdependent relationships toward one another.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to have given up being able to do anything about this world back in the day wherein the ‘choice’ of what and who I wanted to be and do with my life, which was not an actual choice of me seeing myself as capable and able to support myself and stand as an example of change in my world, but only choose that which was ‘the least worst thing to do’ according to the values I placed in the world in separation of myself as a whole, stemming from feeling frustrated and ‘hopeless’ about reality and thinking ‘there is nothing I can do’ which is one of the primary reasons why I chose to become a ‘professional’ in ‘arts’ – according to the ideas and stereotypes of artists I knew at that moment – as a way to further develop this desire to detach from reality and lead ‘humanity to the spiritual world’ – lol I wrote ‘spitual’ –

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to then judge my creations as mindfucked infatuations, without realizing that they were just part of that time in my life and that I can continue creating without me defining myself according to what I create or created in the past, as I can give myself this moment here to express myself as what I exist as in any given moment, without having to create a special point of definition of ‘who I am’ toward that.

 

I realize that I have now stopped most of ‘creative processes’ because of having judged them as a point that I used to escape from my reality, yet I can use them again and turn them/ direct them as self-supportive creations that I can use as another way to present myself as my process, which means that it’s not only ‘myself’ that I’m working on, but I can do other works and creations that stem from such self-understanding that I am walking at the moment in this process.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play out my ‘extremist’ personality wherein I tend to just ‘give up’ something and not look at it again based on having realized the initial/ starting point reason for me to create, and completely ‘detach’ myself from it which is separation – hence it is not to deny my abilities and capabilities of doing something or talking about certain topics, it is about Who I Am in every moment that I participate in creating, communicating with others and within this, establishing myself as equal in all aspects of my reality, not dividing them as ‘the old me’ and the ‘new me’ as that is separation as well – it is about in every moment seeing how I can direct any point in Self-Honesty and considering what’s best for all, which is definitely able to be done and walked as an integral part of self.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people according to how they would speak about their talents and specialness and within this, take such judgment back to self wherein I make sure I stop existing in any form of separation toward anything I do, say, write, share as creation so that I am no longer participating in a system of specialness – but instead become part of the creation of a system wherein all human beings can equally contribute with their talents as a point that is of ease for each to express-themselves as, aiming to contribute to the best interest of all in Equality.

 

I commit myself to asses what I am ‘good at’ as ‘talents’ that I can direct myself to establish myself as an example of how such talents can be used in a beneficial way that entails the betterment of all in Equality.

 

I commit myself to stop any perceived form of ‘being better than others’ in anything I do, but instead, simply use what I can do, what I enjoy expressing myself-as in consideration of that which can support another being to see themselves in and through my words, my creations, my expression in any way which is in the end what we do in this process: reflecting back to each other points that we probably have not considered of ourselves before.

 

I commit myself to re-integrate myself to my perceived detachment and separation from anything I had deemed as ‘talent’s wherein I simply stopped altogether creating separation instead of integrating them as who I am in a way that I ensure that my actions are directed to create a best for all outcome, which is then a way to share/ show to others how each one of us can contribute with their own talents to make of this world a better place, in actual physical reality and not in a dream-like manner.

 

I commit myself to equalize all values as Life as that is the only real value that exists wherein all talents, all activities, all forms of expression are then aligned to creating/ recreating and propagating this new ‘meaning’ of living and expression linked to Life itself for the first time, in a system that would value everything else in separation of itself as Life itself, which is already a revolutionary aspect that has not been considered – mostly taken for granted – before.

 

I commit myself to stop all separation within me as ‘who I am’ and ‘what I do’ is one and equal and must not be assessed and appraised according to the fake-values currently existing in our word, but I make sure that I establish equality as myself as this is the only way that I can ensure I become an effective participant in the Equal Money System where the only value is life, where everything we do is equally ‘remunerated’ as that ability to give and receive in equality.

 

I commit myself to walk my own process of equalizing myself as my talents, and later on be able to share with others how to do the same with themselves, as this is a very cool and key factor that we all as individuals can take on and truly create a new world wherein everyone enjoys what they’re doing/ expressing themselves as, while supporting to create a world that is best for all.

 

For more support on deciding what to do with your life, share at the Desteni Forum  and read all the Journey to Life blogs wherein we are all committed to become examples of what Living Life is in a world where Money will no longer dictate ‘who we are’  – but equalizing All as Life as the only way to start creating a New World beginning with ourselves

 

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