Tag Archives: thoughts

421. Art is in the Eye of the Beholder

 

I took this great blog title from Leila Zamora Moreno who gave it as a name for her son’s Cesar first masterpiece which I am going to share here because it’s his first year alive on Earth today!

We got a Pollock coming, people!

Cesar's Masterpiece 1 Year

 

So, I watched a documentary on Marina Abramovic’s work called Marina Abramović: The Artist is Present and noticed how through watching it, I was constantly seeking for some kind of ‘meaningful’ thing to come through, something that could match my idea of ‘art.’ Through writing the self forgiveness I’m about to share, I realize that I had become this constant judge toward anything I’ve defined as ‘art’ and within doing so measuring/gauging it and see if it does match my idea of art as something that can ‘change the world’ and if not, usually I would follow through to judge it as pointless, useless, a waste of time, etc. In fact I had written out a blog about the documentary, but obviously noticed it was filled with righteous comments so as to impose ‘my perspective’ which then of course was a cool thing to do or else I would have remained within the idea/belief that ‘I was right in my assessment’ lol.

I also reacted when seeing people organizing performances and/or artistic creations around an ongoing situation here in Mexico about students having been disappeared/most likely killed due to a political point of convenience for a governor in one state here and then judging this as ‘pointless’ and ‘meaningless’ and then rehashing the judgment of ‘how come I can despise this ‘art world’ so much now and I once was so eager to be a part of it, where was I?’ – so here I go straight to Self Forgiveness.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to say to myself, how was I ever involved in this art/cultural realm and come to despise it so much at the same time? Which is only showing the usual love-hate relationship wherein of course any ‘negative’ experience is in fact denoting I still hold a relationship toward art, and as such, it’s all about ME in fact and not at all about art/artists or the art world at all – this is then the point of self-responsibility to expand upon here.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience remorse and embarrassment for having ever aimed at achieving an artistic career as I followed my desire to experience something ‘special’ through art and aim at ‘changing the world’ with it, which simply means that I was entirely driven by my own emotional and feeling experience and that this clouded my ability to see reality for what it is and genuinely question whether a ‘work of art’ has in fact ever changed people’s lives to the extent that I thought it would.

In this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge art as something frivolous or useless, wherein by defining it in such way I am then creating a negative relationship to it, but still a relationship nonetheless, so this is about me taking responsibility to ensure I no longer impose any ideas, beliefs, perceptions and reactions toward ‘art’ itself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create yet again an experience of disdain toward people that are using art as a way to demonstrate the corruption and deaths of people here in Mexico, wherein now artists are gathering to create portraits of students that have been – most likely – sent to be killed by a high authority in one of the states here in Mexico, and so reacting with the experience of ‘this is utter bullshit’ and so having the desire to just curse at the people that believe that in any way doing a portrait or performance of and for the people that have disappeared will change their family’s grief or would in any way ‘solve the problem.’

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that this ‘disdain’ is simply a tantrum like experience that comes after one had created certain ideals and expectations upon something, which is why one has such a ‘stance’ toward – in this case – art, instead of realizing that ‘art’ in itself in this case is not aiming at creating a tangible, physical solution, but simply a remembrance that some people might find supportive and that’s up to each person and how they react/interact with such artistic expressions – therefore

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become hypercritical to anything that has to do with art and aiming at bashing it constantly or whenever I can, which only demonstrates my own judgments and ‘false expectations’ created and imposed toward art, wherein I was trying to make of art an actual ‘tool to change the world’ but I realize that ‘art’ in itself as a manifestation and expression cannot do that at all – self change is and will always be here as ourselves, it is about who we are in our mind and in our actions, which in turn will define our creations as well.

 

I realize that in this, of course I’m missing out the actual self-forgiveness that extends beyond ‘myself’ only but as a human being that has lived in a world where pictures, emotions, experiences are the actual ‘drivers’ and/or ‘fuel’ of our reality, wherein the society of spectacle also involves creating this kind of ‘motives’ and ‘remembrances’ using art as a way to ‘heal the wounds’ or else, without realizing that in essence, art only works at a mind level and as such, it creates no solution to real-reality problems and in this

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge art for not being what I expected it to be, instead of realizing that it’s only me that tried to make it’ more’ than what it in fact is – in this

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to constantly try and fit ‘art’ into the category of a human creation that will in some way ‘change the world’ or ‘change people’s consciousness’ wherein in my desire to ‘fit’ art into this ideal, I’ve actually created such an unnecessary conflict within me, because I see that it is just impossible to do so, because nothing, no object, no image can ‘change you’ but only oneself in actually understanding why changing is necessary and how one can practically do it – in this:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get so infatuated with the idea of ‘change’ being able to exist within art, which you know in terms of the large scope of what art is, this idea of ‘change’ is already a limitation, a definition that is coming strictly from who I am and what I am walking in my life, which is very much aligned with ‘changing myself ‘ – thus, I have to stop trying to fit the world, fit people’s idea of art into my own.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be gullible and somewhat stubborn in trying to fit ‘my idea’ of art into everyone else’s artistic creation, which then of course leads me to only criticize, judge it, see it as ‘not good enough’ or ‘pointless’ or plain ‘bullshit’ without realizing that I’m judging it from my own point of view that aimed to make of art ‘something life changing and revolutionary.’ Therefore, I realize that I have to STOP trying to impose my own ideas of what art was supposed to be as a catalyst or a way to change people’s minds/lives and instead of trying to measure ‘all art’ against my own idea/belief and perception of what ‘art should be, I have to rather use all judgments as a way to continue checking what exists within me as an expectative or assumption around art, as this is then how I can use art or anything else as a mirror to continue seeing where I am creating experiences and separation from what is here.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play out the love and hate relationship toward art, which only signifies one thing: there are still remnants of self-definition within me according to ‘being an artist’ or wanting to stick to that profession as ‘what I studied’ or ‘who I was,’ because in a way I still wanted to try and ‘save the profession’ as ‘my choice’ and having done so in absolute clarity and conviction within myself; and so this was my attempt of trying to justify my decision thinking that I wasn’t so ‘out there’ or detached from reality when I chose to study this – but, at the moment I can see that I was in fact not really ‘grounded’ on Earth 10 years ago when I made such decision and that somehow I am still beating myself for it, which is not necessary – therefore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for having chosen what I now judge as some self-conceited and self-importance and absolutely self-indulgent profession as ‘art’ which in this is in fact only judging and ‘dissing’ that which didn’t ‘turn out to be what I expected’ and so, I realize that I have gone back and forth within this experience in the past of the ‘love and hate relationship toward art,’ but the problem is that I still tried to ‘suit my idea’ of what art should be in everything that I continue to see/watch and consume as ‘art,’ instead of realizing that I have to absolutely let go of the idea that I once held about art, let go unconditionally of my past choices in life, of my past ‘mindset’ and as such, stop any judgments around this point within me.

I commit myself to see art for what it is: a series of visual or experiential-based objects or images or actions wherein one is challenged to see reality with another pair of eyes and get to see reality from each person’s mindframe and perspective – thus to take it ‘for what it is’ as an individual or collective expression, instead of continually trying to see ‘where or how is this in any way changing the world?’ which is My idea of what art should be and the reason why this conflict still would emerge within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge ‘the past me’ as vain and superfluous for having chosen such a career and now in one way or another wanting to throw shit at it, which is not really acceptable at all, because art as any other action and creation that we do in this world, is part of what we also have to take responsibility for. Thus my way to contribute to it, is not to ‘bash’ something because it did not ‘fulfill’ my expectations upon it, but rather take the words that I had once associated with art / being an artist and live them myself in the way that I see is supportive and best for all.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to having said this morning ‘where the hell was I when I decided to study art?’ and say so with a sense of regret and disdain toward me and so toward everything and everyone involved in such practice, instead of realizing that if I did this same kind of reproachment for everything else that I see we have done ‘wrong’ in our lives, I would live in constant reproachment which is obviously not necessary at all as in that, we only trap ourselves in guilt and remorse, instead of focusing on what is required to be changed HERE.  

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that what’s hiding behind this is me not wanting to admit that it was my own starting point toward art that defined my now judgment toward ‘art’ which is not about ‘art’ but about me and how I was in fact living and acting in a self-absorbed manner and was seeking for the kind of things like fame, fortune, all the money and the ‘good life’ as well as bashing the system while earning good money, lol – so I realize that I have to simply admit to myself the kind of decisions that I made in the past, the reasons behind it and that there is no way that I can ‘turn back time and change my decisions and career choice’ because I do realize that the decisions I made in my past were absolutely ‘congruent’ to my mind-frame, my interests, my aspirations in the past and within this, I have to absolutely let go of me trying to ‘make sense’ of my initial ambitions and desires in life so as to justify them, and try and see them with a ‘good light’ so to speak, which is not really necessary to now super impose some ‘goodness’ to it, because that would simply imply that I am still judging my past life and decisions as something ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’ or ‘self-interested,’ which is not really necessary once that I realize I have simply moved on from that phase in my life and my interests and aim in life have veered substantially from how I used to think 10 years ago, which I am of course grateful to myself for as well and for all the past moments that led to this realization.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my dissatisfaction with my past choices upon every other artwork or artist I see and get to know of by judging their work and activity in all possible ways wherein I diminish it to being ‘pointless’ and ‘useless’ and taking this as a ‘fact,’ without realizing that all of these were only self-judgments that I have created around ‘art’ based on my own judgments toward myself and my past.

Therefore I commit myself to stop wanting to impose my idea of what ‘art should be’ upon others’ creations and simply redefine the word for myself to live as the actual creator of my life within the principles that I have established for myself of self-responsibility, self-introspection, self-forgiveness and self-correction as I see that this is what I have realized is the genuine way to do what I always aimed doing through art, which is changing myself and so with that, changing the world – therefore I hereby let go of the desire to ‘change the world’ through art  or attempt to make of art that ‘one point that changes the world’ which is also not ‘the point’ here.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to as a human being desire to do something ‘more than myself’ through objects, experiences, artifacts outside of myself and now judging art for what I believe or assume ‘artists’ are aiming to do, which is another judgment coming from what I used to do with art itself, instead of realizing that art can be used as a bridge for self-investigation, yet it is not ‘the change’ in itself at a massive level that I wished it to be at some point, as I realize that self-change and self-realization cannot in any way be something done through only one action, one object, one image and have an effect ‘en masse’ – there are no magic tricks on this.

 

I commit myself to stop judging art, artists, art collectors, art supporters and everyone that enjoys art and instead see ‘art’ within the realm of any other human activity that we do at the moment which means that everything we are and do is yet to be walked through a process of self-realization and self-correction, which means there cannot be something that is genuinely ‘supportive’ if there is no foundation to understand such support or what would be supportive to ‘change oneself’ or ‘change the world’  – thus I am the one that has to stop seeing art through the eyes of ‘practical change’ and/or ‘practical relevance for self-change’ wherein I then create a righteousness to create ‘negative’ judgments toward it, which is once again falling in the judgmental trap that leads nowhere and in fact then I would support the continuation of separation, reactions, judgments and division in the world.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that because I studied art, I have ‘an authority’ to bash it which is really only playing the same critique conundrum that I have also criticized in the past, instead of seeing art or anything else as just expressions that each one of us will have to take self-responsibility for, for the intent, the purpose and the experience within which it was created – thus, I am no one to judge anyone or anything for what it is, I can only reflect myself upon the world and thus take responsibility for my judgments, my experiences, my expressions ‘toward others’ and always realize it has nothing to do with art per se, with artists or with the artworks themselves, but with myself.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still have wanted to control ‘my vision’ about art and so be able to ‘measure all other art’ according to what I had defined as ‘art,’ not realizing that this definition of ‘art’ is not even certain for people in art creation themselves. So, this is once again a point to show how when trying to ‘fit in’ one’s definition upon something/someone, because  each definition is created in one’s mind, it will always be a source of conflict to try and define something that in its nature is not meant to even be ‘defined’ as such, thus I see that my point of control was coming also from self-interest and still wanting to somehow remain with the dignity of having studied something ‘meaningful’ or ‘more than’ any other career, which would then lead me to play a value game that is once again of the mind and of consciousness definitions.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still go and see art in the hope that I will find something that is ‘life changing’ which is why every time I obviously come out without ‘anything’ or ‘nothing learned’ because I am seeing it all through the eyes of ‘come on, art exhibit, change me, change my life!’ which is impossible of course, it would be like thinking that praying to the image of a god or a saint will change your life, which is simply a delusion.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for having ever been fascinated with creations because I have now judged this as ‘vain’ instead of realizing that just as anything that we create in this world, we can appreciate it for what it is in its physicality and no longer having the ‘artistic value-frame’ with which I was trying to measure it against, as this is once again trying to control and impose my own perspectives and experiences toward ‘art’ itself upon others’ creations. It would be like trying to define which human being is more ‘beautiful’ than another or which tree is ‘more expressive’ than another – it is really pointless and a waste of breaths to be dwelling upon this kind of questions, because ultimately if there’s something in art is that precisely this whole ‘valuation’ scheme is meant to be broken or questioned at least.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have judged this point as ‘petty’ or ‘non important’ or there being more ‘relevant things to blog about’ but, I realize that due to the actual judgmental view that emerged within me while watching Marina Abramović’s documentary and when getting to know of artists gathering to create something around people that have disappeared through political reasons, it was then a point to of course review and open up within myself so that I can align this one point within me and my day to day living and so stop the judgmental me toward art or artists as a constant source of conflict.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have some ‘right’ to judge something because of having ‘studied’ it, which is essentially a belief learned from how our system operates with licenses and such, without realizing that a judgment will always be a judgment specifically when it’s made in an attempt to debase or ‘debunk’ something as to ‘make it less’ in a way, wherein then my judgment becomes in my mind something ‘superior’ to point out.

 

In this the application is actually to ensure that I can investigate all things and keep what’s best, instead of investigating all things, judge and criticize with an attempt to ‘debase’ something and then place my judgment as ‘superior’ which is obviously a destructive and consequential way of looking at things.

I realize that I can use anything and anyone in my world as a mirror, and in this, whichever I may think, believe and perceive relates to ‘another’ is in fact about myself, because I can only think/judge something about someone  if I have judged myself in the same way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I was in fact desiring to ‘take a position’ or ‘take a side’ in relation to art because of the self-definition I have created within and towards ‘art’ which is how one then creates a sense of ‘righteousness’ as in having ‘one stance’ in relation to it, which is all knowledge and information based, it is not at all considering what is common sensical or looking at what’s supportive within something – but instead, immediately putting on the ‘judgmental glasses’ and ‘finding fault’ eyes going into ‘attack’ mode to point out all the ‘flaws’ but all of these flaws are pointed out within the starting point of me already seeking to ‘debunk’ another, which is quite the usual nasty game that we play when we want to impose our own mind/righteousness, what we believe is ‘right’ above others.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to question the ‘impulse’ that I sometimes have in relation to wanting to talk about something/someone in an attempt to ‘debunk’ them while still holding a judgment with experience in it as to ‘prove it wrong’ – instead of realizing that I can talk about something/someone without having to resort to taking an antagonist stance toward it, but simply be able to reference it, to look at it in common sense and then  focus on reflecting any judgment back to myself, that’s the only way one can really develop self-honesty, and stop only criticizing things for the sake of feeling ‘righteous’ about something or someone and so justify my experience toward something or someone, in this case, my ‘experience’ toward art which shouldn’t exist at all as an experience.

In this it is to realize that any experience that I have toward something/someone, it indicates I have created a relationship to it, and so it becomes a point for me to take self-responsibility for which means: it’s never about ‘art’ itself, it’s about how I see it, who I am toward it and this is then a much more supportive starting point to look at art and visit art galleries, to see ‘what comes up within me,’ instead of visiting and looking at art from the starting point of ‘proving it wrong’ or wanting it to ‘match my ideal’ of art, which is why all this back and forth friction toward it emerged: it’s all an inside job.

 

I realize that ourselves as human beings tend to seek for answers or ‘find ourselves’ ‘out there’ instead of realizing that everything we require is already here, as ourselves. So in this, I commit myself to stop judging anything that we do/use in order to get to this point of self-realization, wherein I see that art can be used as a tool of self-reflection as with anything else in the world and what we create and do within it. This is where I then have to realize that my process and realizations cannot be the same as others’ and so, I have no authority to judge others’ processes, ideas, beliefs and perceptions – this process is about self-responsibility so here I then commit myself to always see art as a cool point of self-reflection wherein I stop all judgments ‘toward’ art or artists themselves, but rather see ‘who am I’ toward it and use that for my own process of self-honesty.

 

I commit myself to integrate the realization that everything that I judge or criticize in a judgmental manner is and only has to do with myself and the relationships I have created toward something/someone in my past, and so I can only look at things/people objectively where I can first identify if there is any reaction, take it back to self wherein I see the origin of such judgment toward it, do a self-reflective analysis on it in order to support me in common sense to immediately realize: I am imposing my past definitions upon this moment here –  and so I then focus on seeing, watching, reading and participating in anything related to art for what it is – no hidden agendas allowed within me.

 

For a review on the documentary:

 

What life can be

 

 

Read people recognizing their self creation abilities in the 7 Year Journey to Life blogs

The Free Desteni I Process Lite course is a first platform of self-support to learn more about ourselves, our mind and understand how we can practically improve our potentials and skills.

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351. The Problem of Human Nature and Equal Money

 

Human Nature  is the actual source of the problem in this world – by this we refer to the traits that exist as self interest in our minds with which we separate ourselves from the physical common sense of Equality as Life. It is about time we understand that it is not only the Environment that is the problem that shapes Human Behavior, but instead realize how we have created such environment as the image and likeness of our mind.

Continuing:

 

 

Problem                                                                

“Human nature refers to the distinguishing characteristics, including ways of thinking, feeling and acting, that humans tend to have naturally, i.e. independently of the influence of culture. The questions of what these characteristics are, what causes them, and how fixed human nature is, are amongst the oldest and most important questions in western philosophy. These questions have particularly important implications in ethics, politics, and theology. This is partly because human nature can be regarded as both a source of norms of conduct or ways of life, as well as presenting obstacles or constraints on living a good life. The complex implications of such questions are also dealt with in art and literature, while the multiple branches of the Humanities together form an important domain of inquiry into human nature, and the question of what it means to be human.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_nature

 

  • Human Nature is the most common excuse that we as humans use in order to justify that it is impossible to change the world, because ‘human nature’ is just ‘who we are/ how we are/ what we do and how we will always continue to be’ this has become the perfect way to keep people at bay and not attempt to question and change their own lives, and the lives of others because, once this human nature premise is accepted as an irreparable conduct, any solution to the problems of this world will only be sought outside of ourselves, keeping this inherent ‘nature’ intact and unquestioned, because ‘that which makes us human’ such as emotions, feelings and a strong sense of self-importance above others is ‘who we are and have always been.’  All that is recognized is that we have always been greedy, envious, selfish, egotistical beings that are always seeking to better ourselves upon others, always competing, having no sense of social responsibility,  always hungry for power and wealth to have control over others without realizing it is all done in the name of fear; this sociopathic behavior has been accepted as who we ‘are’ by default and it’s often believed to only be the consequence of the environment, but it isn’t.

 

  • It is only now that we are able to understand the mind that we realize how it is that we have created the environment as a result of all of these human traits that are the origin of the nature of our societies and power structures alike. We believe it is only the nature of some ‘vile’ individuals  that have set up this massive prison, but it is not true, we built it ourselves through our own Accepted and Allowed nature with no intention to question it or change it. Instead we glorified it through our mutual acceptance of the excuse ‘But I am only human’ and ‘In the end I am human and make mistakes/ become emotional’ and even got to praise these mind experiences through  artistic demonstrations wherein all the human is able to create from the starting point of being an individual with an eternal inner conflict between emotions, feelings and the real world. This became part of the universal traits that we  only learned we had to learn how to ‘cope with.’ It is within such belief and acceptance that we have created our absolute enslavement by our own mind and hands.
    • To Understand the nature of the Mind, it is important to study the Desteni Material, an investigation for over 7  years about the actual systematic nature of the mind that has been unknown to ourselves until now. You can visit the Desteni Articles to begin reading part of this continuous investigation.

 

  • Human Nature  can’t be changed” –  this is  a mind definition with no awareness of who we are as the mind, who we are as a physical body, our beingness and our relationship with this physical existence throughout time;  we have always accepted and allowed ourselves to say ‘it is how it always has been’ and in that prevent anyone from actually beginning to question that which we have always taken for granted, which is our ability to think, to become emotional, to create value systems and create relationships based on individual self interest.  We can look at how even the ability to question these ‘traits’ is already seen as something that is threatening to our nature, to ‘that which makes us humans’ which means that we have reduced ourselves to only be emotional and feeling energetic systems that act in self interest with no regard to the physical laws that govern our reality and our own physical stability. It is certain that if in our minds we regarded ourselves as physical beings that have the same attributes as everyone else – such as a physical body requiring food, water, shelter, clothing, etc. – the ability to understand Equality would be greater, however this is not so and this explains to what extent we are literally brainwashed ourselves to not recognize that all points of ‘individuality’ as preferences, characters, emotional traits are only but mind configurations that generate the first obstacle to recognize each other as Equals in the physical common sensical meaning of the word. We could create an entire treaty on human nature, but for that I suggest reading the blogs as well as the Desteni Material to understand more about who we are as the Mind, our Nature and how to reflect ourselves upon the words contained in these websites:

 

  • The fact is that there are very few aspects about the nature of the mind generally known by humanity at this stage with regards to our creation and origin, our purpose in this reality. Even psychology as the science that is supposed to study the nature of the mind and behavior of the human being is only existing as a coping mechanism to deal with  ‘human nature’ or simply redirect the usual human traits mentioned earlier, but there has never been an actual re-educational process at an individual level to prove that through getting to know ourselves as our mind as the ability to recognize all the patterns that have led us to the current consequences we’re facing in our world and reality, and establishing a Principle to live by in common sense as what is Best for All we can become a human being that stops existing in the same full acceptance to our mind as ‘who we are’ and start living as an individual that begins to understand how we can only ensure our personal well being if we ensure each other’s well being in Equality.

 

  • We have become the victims of our own beliefs and experiences in this reality – we created gods or systems to take care of ourselves, delegating any responsibility to never realize that it was in fact us that created the very prison we now complain about; this prison exists at a Mind Level which we eventually externalized as the nature of our world system and environment. We can have to look at how the inequality existent in this world is the result of every single inferiority and superiority belief or complex that we believe is ‘real’ and ‘who we are’ and what we have a ‘right to live by,’ which are nothing but accepted and allowed beliefs, ideas and perceptions we have of ourselves in relation to other human beings; for example, we can look at  how we envy others fortune, good looks or personalities and then think that such inner experience and opinion upon others has no effect on the ‘outside world’ – well, it obviously does and every single thought, action/ inaction and spoken or kept quiet word has an effect on everything and everyone in our reality, because we are all coexisting in the same physical reality where every single relationship we form toward another reflects on the mechanisms that run our lives in the ‘greater picture’ as our world system. This means that the environment, the systems, the agreements, the unspoken rules with which we direct ourselves are directly stemming from these accepted and allowed self beliefs on multiple levels that have gotten ourselves to exist the way we do now where we are fearing each other in a constant manner, we are fighting and competing to every other individual that we conceive as an enemy of sorts in this world and reality that we have turned into a battle field where life has been reduced to a winning or losing situation.

 

 

  • The problem is self evident every time that we study the laws, policies, constitutions and ‘behavioral codes’ existent in every organization, institution and system that defines how we live our lives where No life is actually considered, but only interests are kept safe from other only those that have the most money have the ability to protect themselves, and for the most part they are used to make money when it is convenient to allege that there is some form of infringement happening so that these individual interests above the rest are always the ones that are considered first – this means there is no common sense or any sense of honoring life in our legal and political systems, because we have created the world system in such a way that our interests are ‘mutually exclusive’ which makes Equality impossible when pondering self interest over common sense.

 

  • When a new living system where we can all live as Equals is presented and proposed, the usual comments point out that ‘we as humans will always want more than others’ and how ‘there will always be someone that wants to take control of the situation’ and this is why we have created world systems that enable this abuse. Is this preventable? Yes it is, and this is part of the primary premises that must be considered when looking at a process to Change the World in a practical and viable manner. At the moment none of these considerations exist because we have disregarded to look at the root and cause of the ‘problem in the system’ which is within each one of us, in our mind, in our own behavior and preferences that override common sense – this is what creates the environment as a reflection of this nature wherein only individual interests are cared for, and any regard to consider everyone as Equals is seen as a threat to this individuality that is protected and guarded mostly with money at the moment. This means that we in fact fear having ‘the same as everyone else’ because of our belief that it is okay for us to want more than what we have, and aspire to have control over others for our own benefit. The current individual interests that we exist as are founded upon abuse, because every time that only the interests of a few are guarded we must know that the majority will be disregarded and abused to create such well being for only a few, which is what has happened throughout history.

 

  • We cannot just blame the environment and victimize ourselves for the nature of the people that govern us.  They are equal to us and everyone else that has accepted the mind-experience of thinking, desiring and experiencing belief systems to be real which is how the power that we have agreed to endow to them is legitimized through our own acceptance and allowance of this nature as ‘normal’ to human beings. This resides as the acceptance of ‘who we are’ and how we have understood each other to be throughout generations where we never questioned why some individuals had more money/power/influence over the population than others and how we shaped the system in itself to adopt these type of facts as ‘true,’ which became the very laws that currently conduct our lives.

 

 

To be continued with Solutions and Rewards in the following post… 

 

 

 

 

 

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174. Sinking in Reactions after Thinking and Not Doing

 

As mentioned in the previous blog, giving into an experience of the mind is asserting me as the thoughts that create such experience and as such, I’ll walk the specific experiences that emerge from the thoughts and as such, ensure that I walk every aspect of the dimensions walked to far in order to assist and support me to become aware of the energetic experiences I create from the negative to the positive in order to ‘make it alright’ in my mind to actually not do the task at hand, and still remain in a positive experience in my reality.

 

This is thus walking the Reaction dimension within the Postponement character.

Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements

– First prominent thought of ‘the office’ – imagination, backchat and reaction

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with an experience of tediousness when thinking/ having the thought of my professor’s office wherein I go into a sinking-in reaction of further participation in backchat with thoughts like ‘It’s going to take sooo long for it to get done, I rather not do it now’ and within this experience already giving up my ability to direct myself in the physical, stopping participation in the thought and the reaction as dullness/ apathy and tediousness that I create in that moment in order to justify my decision to ‘leave it for later,’ wherein I can see and realize that it is NOT my decision to ‘leave it for later’ but actually me giving into the negative experience of dullness/ apathy and tediousness as a reason and justification to instead, seek to do that which I ‘would rather do’ which is something else that I have defined as a positive experience/ giving me a sense of ‘satisfaction’ according to the values placed/ given to other activities that I have defined as ‘more productive,’ without realizing the responsibility at hand that is in-fact here for me to walk and do, instead of seeking to do ‘something else instead’ that is clearly being defined as a ‘preferable task’ instead of what simply has to be done/ must be done.

When and as I see myself going into an experience of future projected tediousness, apathy and distress when going into the thought of the office, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I actually imprinted this experience of tediousness toward the office in itself due to having had to wait for my professor to be available outside the office and then going into the office with an accumulation of tediousness from having to wait outside for a while, which is then how the moment that I went into the office and imprinted that ‘first impression’ of his office with bright white light, sitting in front of him and handing my writing, I was experiencing myself with such dullness and tediousness due to me having had the backchat prior to entering the office in the lines of ‘This is how it’s going to be every time that I come here to revise my work, I’ll have to wait till he’s here/ he’s available, and it sucks’  thus

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to generate backchat and an experience of tediousness based on the moment prior to getting into my professor’s office due to the amount of time that I had to wait for him to be available and within that, being thinking that ‘I should have come another day/ another time’/ ‘this is going to take forever every time that I have to consult him’  and within this making an experience of having to wait for him to be available and in this, carrying this experience of dullness/ apathy and tediousness into the office wherein in my mind, I captured the thought of ‘finally getting into the office’ with a mix of the ‘carried’ tediousness/ apathy and dullness of having waited outside and imprinting now an expectation as slight nervousness and even ‘controlled anxiety’ when finally facing him and handing my writings to be revised’

I realize that all of this is captured in one single though of the office being ‘loaded’ with the experience of tediousness, dullness for having waited outside of the office and then the accumulated expectation, nervousness and anxiety that I accepted and allowed myself to participate in within that first time/ moment of going to my professor’s office and as such, creating and imprinting this entire experience as ‘the revision time’ represented by the thought of the office with the bright white daylight, generating within me the same mix of dullness, fear, anxiety and tediousness whenever I think of ‘doing my writing’ and immediately come up with the thought of the office with the bright white light daylight coming through as a non-desirable experience within me.

 

When and as I see myself going to the office and creating and loading the future projection of the office and the experience of tediousness mixed with nervousness as an entire ‘negative experience’ within me – I stop and I breathe. I realize that I am creating these experiences based on my own acceptance and allowance of thinking in the moment of going to the office and within the thinking, generating an experience that I ‘saved’ as a single thought linked to the physical action of revising my writings, and within this creating an entire experience of it all being something ‘I don’t want to do,’ which is manipulating myself to always only do and remain within a comfortable zone/ doing what I would ‘prefer’/ would rather be doing, without realizing that this is all my inner-mind tricks and manipulation tactics through fear and negative experiences in order for me to not simply physically do something. Thus

I commit myself to walk the process of actually stopping the thought of ‘the office and the white bright light image’ and the memory replay of me having waited for a long time before going inside as an entire ‘negative imprint’ to the physical action of taking my writings for revision, and within stopping, directing myself to actually work on my writings in order to be available and willing to share them/ go for a revision as a physical practical measure that is required to be taken within this process of me writing and requiring a revision in order to get feedback, which is also a requirement within this process.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to future project a moment within that office wherein I will be told that I simply have to ‘do it all over again’ as a negative experience that I have imprinted onto that moment of ‘revision’ that I have imprinted with a negative reaction within me of nervousness and anxiety that I actually accept and allow myself to go into just by playing out this future-scenario within my mind of ‘having to do it all over again’ without realizing that I have created this based on linking the word ‘revision’ to a negative experience within the belief that it means ‘doing everything all over again,’ which is in fact an exaggeration as I see and realize that this is only me in my imagination making everything ‘more’ than what it is, in order to use this imagination as an excuse to Not do things.

When and as I see myself reacting in nervousness and anxiety within the imagination of being sitting in that office and listening that I have to do it all over again, I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is just me playing a picture running in my mind that I am using as an excuse to not move – therefore

I commit myself to stop participation in that initial thought of the office and within this, stopping participation in the anxiety and nervousness that comes when imagining a play out that is  of a ‘negative outcome / negative in nature’ as I realize that I am here, in the physical moment having all that I require in order to get this task done – therefore I assist and support myself to get this task done in the physical as a movement I make, breathing through any reactions that I have participated in throughout an extended period of time.

I realize that when having accumulated the same imagination play out for an extended period of time, it will take me absolute directive principle to stop going into the same ‘comfort zone’ of imagining this entire play out as something negative that leads me to manipulate myself to instead, create a positive experience of what I could instead be doing in my reality, to not do the task at hand, which is unacceptable.

 

Thought of ‘the folder’ containing the writings

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an experience of absolute anxiety the moment that I see the folder in my documents in my computer containing all the writings and information for my writing, and within this immediately shifting my attention to ‘something else’/ some other document in order to shove away all the plethora of thoughts that I have accumulated over time in relation to ‘having to get this done,’ and actually not do it, but scroll down and or shift the window and continue with ‘other things’ that I have considered are more ‘comfortable’ to work with, that are ‘better things to do’ instead of tapping onto this writing, which is manipulating myself to believe that the experience of anxiety and nervousness is in fact real and as such something ‘difficult’ to walk through, without realizing that it is a matter of realizing that I have created this experience linked to the amount of time that I have procrastinated this particular task and as such, created into a single ‘fear’ of even looking at the folder due to this single action meaning that I have Not been self-responsible in all aspects in my world – hence the anxiety and nervousness when realizing the dishonesty toward written points that I have to direct in my reality.

 

When and as I see myself reacting with absolute fear and anxiety just by looking at the folder containing my writings, I take a deep breathe, I stop for a moment and realize that the moment is here to work with it and that all it physically takes is to click on it, open it and search for the latest version of my document in order to arrange what I have done, and take the necessary steps to update my current direction that I’ve been ‘intending’ to give the writing and that I can do so in this moment that I see and realize it must be done.

 

I commit myself to realizing that this only takes actually clicks on my mouse and physically typing which is something I consider I am quite comfortable doing, and within this stick to breath, focusing my attention on the points that are HERE to be faced and remain constant and consistent within my own awareness of what I am reading, what I am writing and keeping in ‘mind’ the direction of it all as a commitment to get this done.

 

I realize that the commitment to stop manipulation through all the negative experiences attached to one single point of writing the document and facing the revision is precisely a part of the ‘problem’ that I have accepted and allowed myself to become the two primary points as thoughts, imaginations loaded with backchat in relation to why I don’t want to do this/ why I could simply skip it this moment and do it later, and in this perpetuate a manipulation within myself and toward my reality, wherein all I see and realize remains is this ‘load’ that only grows day by day due to not having given proper direction to it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a reaction of absolute apathy toward something that simply has to be written, as I realize that I don’t require to be motivated with a positive experience to do things/ get things done, as I realize that only us as the mind have accepted and allowed ourselves to condition ourselves to only move if there is ‘something in it for us’ as a reward/ further positive experiences that we have given value to in order to ‘move’ and ‘be motivated’ within this

 

When and as I see myself believing that I have to have a motivation to move/ to write/ to get things done as a positive experience, I stop and I breathe – I realize that in my process of getting out of the mind and into the physical Self Will means no energy is required to move myself and such, I direct myself as the physical reality that is here to move/ direct and live as physical movements and that only me as a mind would require a positive experience as an incentive to move – thus I stop seeking for  a ‘reason’ outside of myself as a positive outcome/ reaction within me upon thinking about ‘I am going to do this’

 

I commit myself to realize that whenever I direct myself as the thoughts ‘I am writing this document’ that I do not participate in either a positive or a negative experience’ but simply realize that it is a physical and tangible point to direct in my reality and that in physicality we don’t require to manipulate ourselves with energy to get things done, we don’t require to fear to get things done, we don’t require to feel anxious or nervous within future play-outs of our experience within further imagination moments that we have given our power away to. This is a single decision to stop participating in energy as a demotivation/ motivation to do move in the physical reality.

I realize that by creating any experience upon something that must be done, I am not yet being fully Self-Directive as a physical being, which is then a necessary point to realize as a constant breathing process wherein I realize that all that I require as tools are here with me and that I’ve got both hands, my breath to move myself in the physical and that’s it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a general reaction of irritation and annoyance toward myself due to realizing and falling flat on the realization that I am being the only obstacle within this, and that I have been the one that has been ‘in front of my way’ all the time – thus

When and as I see myself creating an experience of irritation and further annoyance toward myself for not doing things, I stop and I breathe – I realize this is an unnecessary experience to go into within the realization that the only way to correct this is by doing it, instead of pulling out further experiences, abusing myself, my physical body and lashing it out ‘onto the world’ for something that I am fully aware I am responsible for.

I commit myself to establish myself as breath to not allow these ‘subtleties’ as annoyance irritation created within me and lashing it out onto others/ the world as I realize that I am the only one that is able to stop the experience and actually direct myself to what is required to be done in this particular task and that no matter how ‘angry’ I get at myself, only physically correcting the pattern will solve the problem – thus I am the ‘problem’ and I am the solution.

I commit myself to establish my self-discipline in relation to actually doing this as part of my daily routine without any excuses and justification that can create further experience upon having ‘written it out but not living it’ which is the morphed character that must be considered at all times in order to not re-create or further evolve the character by laying it out ‘nicely’ but not living it – and that is where Self Honesty resides.

 

I will continue with further reactions experiences within the entire walking of the procrastination character.

 

Reaction Self-Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define WHO I AM into and as energy-experiences within and as an complete alternate reality, separate from/of my PHYSICAL BODY, never questioning “but, why – when I am IN this BODY in EVERY BREATH, do I not stand WITH it, AS it, in and as equality and oneness in being able to relate to it, communicate with it, “experience” it? Why am I existing in separation from it in a reality/system as the MIND as ENERGY that I do not have full context, comprehension or understanding of AT ALL, regarding where thoughts exactly come from, how energies are in fact created, why/how does things so seemingly automatically come up in my Mind that I have no control of?”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to so readily FOLLOW energy-experiences and the personification of energy as the dimensions of Personality as thought, imagination, backchat, and behaviour so often that it’s become so “accepted” – that I never even stopped for a moment to consider how LITTLE I am in fact aware of my PHYSICAL BODY, my BREATHING and my communication, interaction and participation with others in this world/reality as ALL the living beings, organisms, micro-organisms – the actual LIVING REALITY that is here. – Sunette Spies*

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172. Creating Excuses instead of Solutions

Continuing with the Backchat point that I began walking yesterday within the procrastination character

A backchat-point that is more ingrained and let’s say ‘case specific’ is not only with regards to a sheer point of laziness/ procrastination that is physically here – yes – however the reasons behind it which all do happen at the level of backchat an internal conversations have more to do with how I have judged this particular task as useless, as a mere protocol, as meaningless within the consideration of what type of degree this is, even seeing it as a waste of time and money to get it done – all of it yes, excuses existing only in my mind that I have given value to in order to continue justifying my ‘demotivation’ to do it, however if we look at ourselves and this world, we have become so used to motivate ourselves for a specific positive-outcome or positive-experience to do things that it then becomes one of the ‘fuels’ that keep us running.

As I write this I also see how I am squandering an opportunity that many people would have liked to have, which is then absolutely unacceptable, because I am aware of the rate of individuals that are in no way able to assist to college or pay for an entire career to get to the point of graduation. I am aware that my education cost me literally cents every year, however that doesn’t mean that because it is almost ‘free’ my commitment to it must not change.

I also see another point which is how I have accepted and allowed my personal experience toward the career in itself to be a decisive factor for me to not want to ‘do this’ based on preference – once again, in my mind this was like a disenchanted romance that ended up in my mind rather ‘bad’ from the perspective of me not wanting anything to do with ‘art’ at all. Thus this is the main point for me to work with, because I see there is an attraction/ repulsion going on which can only exist as a reverend masterpiece of mindfuckism™ that I have created within this.

So – I’ll walk the most prominent backchat within this that I can see can be an ever ‘deeper’ level of excuses and justifications to not do things.

 

Self Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold the backchat ‘this is something utterly useless to do’ which is based on me believing that having an art degree is useless, which is stemming from my introspection and realization of how and why I decided to study art in the first place, which became a point I judged as shallow, ‘easy way out of the system,’ and essentially avoiding to be ‘in the system’ according to my standards back then, which is how I make it all as if it had been a drag to complete my studies, simply because of not seeing myself with the enthusiasm and ‘love for art’ that I initially believed I had – thus I realize that within this ‘low’ after the great romance with art, I experienced myself demotivated to have anything to do with it, which implies that I am still holding on to my own remorse and repent for having chosen this career as a 5 year-study in my life that I won’t be dedicating myself to – and as I write this

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience anxiety and a general nervousness within the area of the solar plexus due to me making time as something that has been squandered / useless within my life when studying art, without realizing that such categorization and valuation in time can only exist if I measure myself according to what ‘others’ have done in their lives/ what their careers will be/ have been which I have considered are more suitable to our current reality and projects within this world, other than having an ‘art degree.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience a slight shame of myself when people ask what I studied, almost as if I wanted to hide the fact that I studied art for seeing it now as a useless piece of study and wasted time in my life, instead of actually considering that it is a career just as any other career in our current world system wherein no-career is in fact precisely supportive for human beings, as all careers and studies are currently veered toward maintaining a world system based on money/ survival wherein no life is currently being considered as THE point to support within all careers and all studies.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that no matter if I walked the ‘artist character’ I did not precisely tap into the judgments and criticism toward art itself and all the backchat I’ve held toward it which is similar to what one partner would have to say about another partner when the relationship didn’t work out – thus, I realize that my grudge toward myself for my own choices in life, are affecting me to finally do this ‘final kick’ as I am seeing myself being apparently incongruent with having to write about ‘my experience’ in school which is something that I have still judged as a ‘useless/ waste of time,’ while fearing actually hurting/ demeaning people’s activity there which is all related to art, obviously.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I ever had a ‘real affection’ for art or ‘real love’ for art as I used to say to myself, without realizing that I simply chose this a s point to get infatuated with , as it covered my then personality requirements and satisfied me as my ego – which is how and why after walking this process almost from the beginning of my career, I had a tough time having to realize how I had fooled myself around the whole ‘art thing’ in the first place as a total character that I embodied/ became for my personal benefit and desires to be famous/ well known and have good money without having to be ‘in the system,’ which is how due to holding a judgment toward myself for such choices in life, I now don’t want ‘anything to do’ with it, without realizing that it is very convenient backchat that I have formulated in order to not do things.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that people/ professors are expecting something of me – while at the same time realizing that I haven’t really built any ‘artist portfolio’ that I could present myself with, which I had created as a separate aspect of myself in relation to being a ‘visual artist’ without realizing that I am actually walking the process of creating myself which in itself, must also be an ‘art’ as a self-mastery that is not related to color or shapes or concepts other than working with the concept that I’ve become – thus there is no point to use the backchat of ‘they must be expecting something ‘great’ from me within this work’ which is only one added point of fearing not being ‘good enough’ within others’ expectations, which is then an aspect that I see myself being ‘limited by’ – wanting to in my mind create this ‘great revolutionary work’ and thinking of all the possible ways to approach it, instead of actually physically writing it out, arranging it so that it becomes an actuality instead of just a ‘great thing’ in my mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create my own standards of ‘excellence’ within me that I am eventually tampering my ability to work with myself, and this is in relation to who I am with regards to the idea of myself as ‘the great student’ and within this belief of myself, still holding it as a background and character that I must apparently ‘fulfill’ at the eyes of the academy,  which is then me as ego wanting to do a work as ego, not really benefiting anyone with it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to now go into a ‘guilty experience’ due to having squandered time to get this done, and realizing that many would have wanted to be in my position which is just another way to blackmail myself into feeling ‘bad’ and thus moving myself only out of guilt and remorse instead of simply clearing my starting point to do this work.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the starting point of doing this work as a way to simply ‘get this done and over with,’ which is not entirely stemming from self-stability and decision to do it, but mostly like a ‘stone/ obstacle to get out of the way’ which is then not an equal and one participation moment to moment to do it, but mostly something that is simply done to ‘get over with it’ which contains an entire experience of my own disillusionment with the career, which is just like signing away a divorce by first having to spend one more time with the ‘ex-partner’ without really being together any longer thus –

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make of my entire career as a failed-decision, a failed-marriage, a failed-experience due to realizing the starting point in self honesty of me having chosen this career. Thus instead of further victimization with regards to seeing it all as a ‘wrong choice,’ I realize that this is further excuses and justifications wherein I have considered ‘how I feel’ toward art/  my career and create a relationship with it, instead of seeing it as any other systematic task that I must accomplish as part of the responsibilities I hold toward my world and reality ‘as is.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed so much bullshit to run around in my mind as backchat that I ‘pay attention to’ in order to procrastinate this point within the ‘uselessness’ category, wherein I see that in my mind I apparently would expect to ‘invest my time’ in something ‘greater’ however, this is a blatant excuse as that would be creating my own value system according to what I consider is ‘more valuable/ more worthy to spend my precious time on’ and what not, which is not so.

 

I realize that this work to be done is actually a cool opportunity to leave a whole new perspective of approaching – well not entirely/ absolutely ‘New’ but continuing where Beuys left off – the creative act and creation in itself of the individual and society as a whole.

 

I realize that all of these statements, future projections, past regrets and spiteful actions toward ‘my career’ are in fact toward myself and my choice to study art, which implies that I must first forgive myself unconditionally for the choices I’ve made in my life – which is a necessary point to not make this ‘more’ than what it is.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to equate my career to this ‘bad experience/ bad romance’ that ended up ‘bad’ according to the high expectations that I had held toward myself, my career and my so-called certainty to change my vocation to art instead of being a linguist, wherein I see there is a point of regret – however, there is no point in holding on to this –

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty for all the amount of money that my father spent on this career all for me to eventually ‘be an artist’ which I am not going to be in this life, and within this use this point of ‘feeling bad’ as another excuse to simply Not do this at all, as a way to not wanting to be facing my own decision within doing the work, not wanting to face my own career choice while doing the work – and all of these limitations have climbed up to become an obstacle that has become like a grudge within me that I have used as a justification and excuse to not do things.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience failure within me when seeing people actually enjoying themselves within the career and already moving within the artworld wherein I see myself as nowhere near that or even interested in that which has also become a point of comparison and believing that I cannot possibly write about something that I am not fully committed to – which implies that I am still seeing the starting point of doing this work as it being ‘for the academy’ instead of this work being for myself, to actually complete what I have vowed myself to do and finish from the beginning.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually hear/ pay attention and even use these mind assessments of my reality as something ‘valuable’ to consider in order to direct myself within my world and reality, which is unacceptable considering that none of them are in fact standing within the consideration of supporting and assisting myself to get things done without using any background information/ backchat to decide whether doing it or not.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use backchat as a way to convince me that this would not have to be done in the end and within me holding a ‘hope’ that somehow this would not have to be done, that I would be able to regain my automatic graduation point without having to do this work, without realizing that in such hope I am existing in a similar way to a faithfully deceived religious person that waits for something/ someone to fix their situation, instead of taking Self Responsibility at all times.

 

I realize that I have all the ability to stop associating this work to being the fruit of a failed decision in life and instead, align its starting point to a living decision that I’ve made to dedicate myself to what is best for all and as such, realizing that no matter for whom or for what I write, what I write as myself, my expression, no need to ‘fix myself’ to suit parameters that I have believed myself I must ‘fake’ in order to please others, this is about my own creation that stands as an extension of myself, my own realizations and as such, is no different to writing a blog, writing a post, writing myself to explain myself to any other person.

I realize that I have been the only one that has been the real obstacle within this all as the relationship of love/hate I created toward my career choice,  nothing else but another character that I made of myself – thus this stops here.

 

I commit myself to stop creating excuses and justifications as thoughts of how and why this is something useless to do and that I’d rather ‘do something else,’ without realizing that these are just blatant excuses to not do this in fact – thus, I direct myself to establish me as the starting point of this work, to establish myself as the directive principle within this task instead of still thinking that I am doing this for ‘someone else’ or only to ‘get a paper.’ I instead assist and support me to realize that I am my own starting point at all times of everything that I do, write, say and think even, wherein I can decide in one single moment to step out of character and this entire relationship toward my past and simply do this as a fresh-point that I decide to begin here.

I realize that I do not require to ‘carry’ all my past and personal experience within it, but actually be able to create a common sensical perspective upon creation/ creative process in itself in means of creating oneself as an individual that is able to become an equal part of the whole while using our self-creative abilities to do so, which is what begins with myself by writing this out and using this document as a way to also support others to realize the same.

 

More to continue.. Yes, until it is done.

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Journeys into the Afterlife – The Future Selves – Part 35

169. Imagination as a Distraction to Not Do things

When it comes to walking the procrastination character in relation to imagination, I could see myself having both positive and negative projections wherein within ‘playing’ with both, I would end up simply being entertained in the mind by either/or with no physical / tangible doing that would mean a single decision to get things done, such as just writing it out.

Thus as much as imagination would be linked to facing a point of fear in relation to the task at hand, the positive imagination would be me convincing myself of what I could instead do to not have to face the point of actually just doing it.

 

A specific thought among others is when I think of me being at the office of my professor and waiting for a verdict on my paper wherein such single image of the office is linked with a negative energy experience that I have created a resistance toward due to thinking and believing that the word ‘revision’ means doing it all over again several times. I explained the thought of ‘the office’ in the previous blog linked to fear of having to confront my ideas with another person – hence the thought would become an actual play out of events in my mind which is more in the realm of imagination of how it would go finally facing the point and how I would direct myself in the situation:

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a resistance to actually doing the written document due to this single thought of me sitting in front of my professor’s chair at his office and waiting for a verdict on the current state of the work, hoping for it to go well without realizing that with me creating this single thought and going into the imagination of him telling me that it is either ‘done’ or ‘requires a lot of re-writing to be done,’ I create an actual resistance to do anything at all – this means that whether my imagination is positive or negative about it, I remain entertained only in my mind about it instead of actually physically doing it.

 

When and as I see myself entertaining myself in my mind with regards to a positive or negative feedback upon my work, I stop and I breathe – I realize that what is being created in my mind is of no substance other than my own thoughts that are built upon a future projection of me having ‘finished the work,’ which is precisely what needs to be directed by me in physical reality.

 

I realize that I will invariably have to face such imagination-point as an actual event of going for revisions and that in no way do I require to create an expectation about it being good or bad – I assist and support myself to remain here as breath when and as I approach the office/ the person and take things as breath, ensuring that I do not try to make things only ‘my way’ but am open to perspectives/ constructive criticism that can in fact assist and support me to expand my current view/ perspective on the point.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link the word ‘revision’ to a negative experience wherein I believe that I will have to re-do everything again and link this ‘re-doing’ to the ‘worst case scenario’ that I participate in within my mind, without realizing that this fear is actually me preventing me from actually doing anything at all.

 

Thus, when and as I see myself imagining the moment of revision of my work and being anxious and nervous while having him reading the whole thing, expecting for the worst to happen, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am able and capable of supporting myself to remain here as breath, realize that I can only hear and be willing to co-operate within going through the written document as many times as required in order to have everything done in a suitable manner, without creating any stress or anger for having to repeat the whole thing/ repeat some parts as I see and realize that this is part of doing this work thus

I commit myself to stop any fear and imaginary play outs of the worst case scenario as having to repeat myself several times, which I see is a possibility within the nature of the current task at hand – and that in no way do I require to create a negative experience toward it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a future projection of be expecting ‘the worst’ within the imagination-rolling of this thought of the office wherein I play out a hypothetical situation of me having to re-do the whole thing over and over and over again, getting frustrated about it and this is so without realizing that with me simply giving Into this thinking and imagination processes, I am in fact giving permission for me to eventually really go through this,  as I am being the creator of myself and my reality, believing that I somehow had to ‘face’ such points in order to see ‘who I am’ within them, which is absolutely Not necessary as I can simply decide to stop all future projections in the negative realm of it all ‘going wrong,’ stop all resistances and fears in one single moment and actually do the doing as an actual doing as point of Self Movement that must take place by my own physical decision to type and write it out.

When and as I see myself rolling the thought of the office into an imaginary moment of having to confront my work with another being, I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is me sabotaging myself with no substance to it other than entertaining myself in the mind instead of actually doing – thus

I commit myself to stop going into imagination about future projecting the confrontation/ presentation of my work with other beings and as such, assist and support myself to be here as breath throughout the entire process, as I see and realize that going into nervousness, anxiety or frustration leads nowhere but having to eventually do it all over again no matter what, as I realize that this has to be done and there is no other way around it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the imagination of being in the room of examination with all professors and having them asking the question ‘what does this all have to do with your career’? which is a primary imagination play out due to my own backchat toward my career choice and my belief that I am betraying ‘my vocation’ by now being dedicated more to the study of the human mind and not so much in the creative process of visual arts, without realizing that we use our mind to create and as such there is no possibility to dissociate a physical externalization as an ‘expression’ of ourselves without making use of the mind.

Thus I realize that this self-creation process is of course as relevant as any other aspect/ consideration within any expression, as it is an externalization of who we are/ how we are existing as the mind.

When and as I see myself going into imagination of that moment of having to confront my work and receive criticism for it not being ‘visual arts related,’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that there’s no sense of going into this thoughts and participate within it as it is only based on fear and further backchat that I’ve had toward my own career and current interests in life, which can be certainly equally supported by both activities, as both points are related to who we are as humans and as such, there’s no need to create a dissonance around this in my mind any further.

 

I commit myself to stick to the physical, common-sense reality that is here for me to walk and direct myself in, wherein I do not require to imagine the whole thing ‘being done’ as I can only stick to writing it and working on it as a physical action in the moment, as I see and realize that imagining possible outcomes with it serves no purpose but distraction in relation to the actual work that requires to be done.

— to be continued

 

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155. Are we all Cannibals?

Redefining Consumerism as Self Support.

Within continuing looking at consumerism and the Frog Interviews, it is clear that the initial relationship we formed toward everything that is here, lead us to eventually having to consume ourselves in order to continue living – consuming ourselves? yes, we consume ourselves within the understanding that who and what we are as the substance within this physical existence is in fact  everything and all that we are and that which we use to sustain ourselves as physical bodies and, also as the mind that we fuel with our very own physical substance. For further explanations on this point, check out the Heaven’s Journey To Life blog.  We have been transforming this life substance and diminishing it to energy, to only being a temporary high in our minds to power up thoughts, emotions and feelings – thus, how to honor our living reality and physicality once that we discover that at the moment we’ll have to continue consuming food to exist?

 

I have walked through the point of judging having to eat and shit at the same time, consuming physicality and using it up to then dispose everything that I don’t require any longer within my physical body. Through understanding how the composition of my own physical body is the same as everything and everyone that is here – common sense – I got to see how it is in fact only the relationships that I have formed and created within my mind toward everything that I consume that which must be cleared up/aligned/ corrected  to in fact make of my own self-consumption a living-support, and not just feeding myself with food to sustain a physical body that would later on ‘empower’ my own mind as the ‘occupant’ within my body, depleting all the actual life-substance to power up thoughts, feelings and emotions as that point of separation we have existed as within our minds.

 

If cannibalism is seen as immoral in society, guess what? We’ve done this to ourselves through participating in our minds within believing ‘it is who we are.’

“Where I had within and throughout my Life, created who I am in my mind, and connected everything/everyone into and as my who I am in my Mind and so emerged into/as physicality reality through a Mind/as a Mind. Where, the processes of thinking/internal conversations emerged as how I would, within my Mind-Reality and the relationships I had formed within it – evolve it through thinking, and having internal conversations within myself and substantiate the Mind through/with energy/energy-experience as I make my internal alternate mind reality of actual physical reality ‘alive’. And so create an entire ILLUSION of what it means to live/be alive, not seeing, realising and understanding how for the Mind to exist, the Physical Body is sacrificed..” – Sunette Spies – Thought Designs – Part 2: DAY 154

 

 

We have All certainly participated in this by the mere fact of identifying and accepting ourselves to ‘be the mind’ and being literally ignorant about the actual functioning of the relationship between the physical and the mind, and about ourselves as the actual corporation/ consistency/ physicality of who and what we are really made of, which is ourselves as our physical body – wow, we have really Never in fact considered our entire physical body as the – derogatorily speaking – energetic source for our little bright mind to continue existing as this seemingly infinite resource to think, feel, imagine, wish, dream and hope all the time, which includes the points we’ve been looking at in terms of consuming/ buying/ possessing something or someone. And that is our real nature.

 

Within consuming – besides buying – we have the Eating consumption. And within this a way to practically walk this point of consuming/ consumerism at the moment within realizing that everything that we eat is ourselves, and everything that we have always consumed in any form/way is ourselves – this implies that our very own living-reality of consumption is based on us consuming ourselves. Now, this sounds really Not Cool I mean, all the time we thought we were in fact just ‘eating’ and that such action had no other meaning than sustaining the physical body – BUT! What we didn’t know, realize or understand is how the mind actually worked in relation to the physical body, and how everything that we ate would actually serve to sustain the very mind physical system that exists at an interdimensional level, sipping out the actual physical substance to transform into energy for its own survival – yep, a real parasite there and we are constantly feeding it – how? through participating in thoughts, emotions and feelings and any other type of mind-experience that we think is ‘us’ experiencing it, never really understanding what it in fact implies at the level of consciousness to be continuing creating relationships toward everything/ everyone in separation of ourselves through energy.

 

Thus, we have diminished the life substance that we consume to support ourselves to single batteries to power up the mind – the same way that we all have become single batteries to power up an entire world system of money. We see how we tend to judge ‘the world system’ in separation of ourselves, and how this actually leads us nowhere but further victimization instead of Self-Support with actual understanding through writing, applying Self-Forgiveness, Self Corrective Statements and Living it/ Applying it to in fact get to see how we have all been ‘unconditional’ participants to create the current world-system fuckup we exist as.

What does this practically mean? That we can begin considering the food we eat as an unconditional point of self support that we can in fact Use/support ourselves with to start living self-forgiveness beginning with the food that we eat.

 

 

As everything, we can redefine ‘consumerism’ as a derogatory term and instead see it as a physical function of taking in/eating/ingesting life to produce/support/give sustenance to ourselves As Life,  and that point of ‘producing/ supporting life’ is entirely up to us, to no longer use/ abuse food to feed our mind-cravings and mind needs, but instead assist and support our physical body in reality, the reality of what is required as nutrients which certainly is another aspect of education that must be investigated with our own physical bodies and proper medical diagnosis like blood samples, to see where and how we can practically nurture ourselves in an efficient manner, and not only following the desires, needs and wants of our mind, which is then already using the energy up to think about wanting/ needing/ and desiring, just like a never ending ouroboros to consume itself.

 

Thus through committing ourselves to Live and walk the Living Correction through Writing, Self Forgiveness, Self Corrective Statements and the Practical Application, we ensure that the nutrients we take in the form of food from/ of the Earth as the substance required to keep ourselves alive, are used to sustain ourselves during our Journey To Life, which means that it is to honor that which we take in as ‘food’ within the consideration that such nutrients and support for our body will in fact Not be used to power up our mind flicks and energetic manias, but instead support who we are as the realization of the relationship between the physical body and the mind, ensuring that through us stopping our participation in the mind within this Process; thus we use the nutrients to honor ourselves, honor life, because that’s certainly something that we were not taught to even consider within the foods that we eat, we simply learned that we give money for it and have ‘the right’ to consume it, that’s it.

 

So a practical point to consider whenever we are consuming foods, is to commit ourselves to realize that we are sustaining ourselves to LIVE in/as the Physical Body here breathing and providing the necessary nutrients to every physical component of our entire body, instead of feeding/ nurturing ourselves as our body to only power up the mind that sucks up such nutrients from our very tissue in order to continue the separation from ourselves as the physical body, externalizing this consumerism within the world system through money to ‘buy’ and ‘consume’ as a form of satisfying/ fulfilling/ creating a positive experience within ourselves As the Mind itself and so, becoming actually an eating-slave to power up the system that we have abdicated our living responsibility to.

 

This is a Vital point to understand, because it’s never been explained before how our thoughts are not ‘made up of stars’ as some innocent imaginary thing that has no consequence on the physicality that we are, no. They all Do have a consequence just as everything else that we participate in, and that’s our responsibility to get to know in detail about, as it is Our physical body and as such, our entire understanding of how this reality works so that we can in fact start getting a more in depth-view and understanding of this current world system being the direct outflow and manifestation of the very relationships that we are existing as within our physical body – you can begin with walking the Quantum Mind Series at Eqafe and get a hold of this in a step-by-step detailed explanation of what we are, how us participating in thoughts actually defines our entire relationship toward ourselves/ all in our reality, and also how to through becoming aware of this, commit ourselves to be the generation that stops accepting the mind as ‘normal,’ and also stopping any knowledge and information about how the physical body works that has been based on profit-making other than an actual support and assistance toward our quality living standards in our current society and reality.

 

We decide who and what we actually feed because we are the ones that decide in every moment whether we live or only delegate our beingness to a mind to do the pseudo-living for us through thinking reality, instead of living it.

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154. The Ladder of Success is Self Abuse

Consumerism is Self-Consumption

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the belief that buying is a pleasant experience and a hobby, wherein one learn to see the act of consuming as a a fulfilling experience that satisfies and quenches that seemingly constant ‘void’ that is perceived when there is no energetic experience going on within us, which is how we have defined energy as Living instead of understanding how it is that these energetic experiences in fact lead us to our very own depletion/consumption and eventual death, as all energy implies the consumption of the physical, the burning of the fuel that is the physical in order to create what we only see as a ‘fulfilling/ pleasant/ satisfying experience,’ because no one on Earth had even known how it is that this process of Thinking actually goes through, and it is now that we have the information through the material available at Eqafe such as the Quantum Mind Series that we are able to understand how everything that we have ever thought is implying a form of abuse toward ourselves as the physicality that we really are, all in the name of an experience that only goes up in the mind, without no apparent further consequence other than a momentary high which is what we have in fact become addicted to: Energy as a make-believe ‘living experience’ while ignoring the actual gruesome reality that goes behind every single thought that we participate on, which implies our own self-consumption.

This is the point that we had not realized when labeling ‘consumerism as a pleasant experience’ and not seeing/ realizing and understanding How such pleasant experience is created and what is actually enabling this experience, which is and can only exist if ‘something else gives It/ provides it which in this case is the physical that is literally ‘nailed’ just like Jesus on the cross in order to give that ‘kingdom of god’ that we have foolishly defined as money, wealth and the experience that we have defined through/as money as happiness, fulfillment, power, satisfaction as the saturation of energy that we have foolishly ‘bought’ to be ‘real’ in any way, because we have ignored our own physicality as the actual equality and oneness as life, as the actual source of that experience that we believe is ‘who we are,’ due to not seeing, realizing and understanding how the mind works in relation to the physical body and how it runs like an engine gnawing our very own physical tissue to keep its energetic functions going – all of this is explained in the Frog Series that I suggest listening to in order to understand consumerism as a point of self abuse and how we have the actual capacity to correct this points within a new system like the Equal Money System beginning with Ourselves as that equal and one relationship developed within our mind toward the physical.

 

When and as I see myself participating in the thought of ‘Buying is a Pleasant experience’ and projecting this judgment upon others to see them as ‘ignorant,’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that I have been absolutely ignorant to the actual understanding of how all ‘Positive Experiences’ are created at the expense of the physical which is the sacrificial rite that we do on a daily basis whenever we think and only follow our own personal benefit/ happiness point, while believing that we are enhancing our ‘living experience’ and ‘evolution’ in ourselves, without understanding how we are actually sacrificing our own flesh and living substance due to the accepted and allowed belief that thinking, having feelings and emotions is something ‘natural’ to the human being.

We have been oblivious to what extent we have abused ourselves/ all that is here whenever we simply consider it was very easy to follow energy as ‘living,’ which is the necessary education that must be taken on in our reality so that we can in fact, at last, understand that this current system of consumerism based on linking consuming/ buying to a positive experience is an evidently unsustainable system, wherein we only see the ‘nice’ and ‘positive’ and ‘attractive’ points as the final product made for our own benefit, while neglecting the actual gruesome reality that goes behind the entire production process and extraction of prime matter – nice way to name the Earth’s resources – in order to transform it/ configure it in a way that we impose our wants, needs and desires toward this satisfaction/ fulfilling point as a positive experience that we have believed is ‘all that we are here for in our lives,’ while missing out every moment of actual living here in Equality and Oneness as the physical, as Breath, simply because we trained/educated ourselves to only regard Energy as Living.

And this you can understand in the series the Crucifixion of Jesus in the chapter number 7 that speaks about this ‘Ladder of Success’

 

I commit myself to stop judging and within this reinforcing the same mechanisms of separation that we have participated in, which implies using our minds to assess/ value/ define this physical reality in terms and way that we benefit ourselves from, due to the premise of accepting life as an energetic experience –thus it is to educate myself to ensure that I am aware of how it is that I have become what we can see in each one of ourselves and this world in its entirety as the outflow and consequence of our own accepted and allowed perception of life being an energetic experience that is either positive or negative, and within this, exposing how it is that our own wants, needs and desires became manifested as every single product that we are able to BUY now with money that is not readily available/ given to all unconditionally, which is indicating how we have separated ourselves from our very own physicality as this entire world through a belief system in our minds, that sustains our entire economical model at the moment – this is no different to the thinking pattern of believing that buying/ consuming a single thing to own/ possess/ eat/ wear/ use is what ‘living’ is about (which is how we have defined living as an experience) wherein we diminish ourselves to being only ‘thinking’ instead of breathing and understanding the physicality as who we really are and how we consume it while thinking/ following our thoughts.

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when entering a mall/ commercial center/ market, and seeing all the plethora of things there are to buy and its wide variety, I get the pictures of the media and how they present similar products wherein then I access a thinking-pattern to blame the media for ‘brainwashing us,’ without realizing how there is Nothing in this world that was made ‘by the hand of a god,’ we are all responsible for it and that implies that we created the media in order to constantly create new needs/ desires within people in order to fulfill and satisfy the exigencies that we’ve established as a monetary system that requires constant consumption to continue going, which is very clear how our current system is energy-driven as an abusive relationship upon the physical, instead of having created and established and agreed upon a world system wherein we can support one another as equals, standings As the equality and oneness that we in fact are, but that we didn’t do because we accepted the mind to be the one that dictates ourselves in relationships of separation toward everything and all that is here, which is why and how Media is so effective, as it presents a relationship of separation creating a desire/ want/ need in terms of buying/ consuming products in the name of getting a positive experience out of it, and us accepting that as ‘Real’ and ‘True’ because of our own accepted and allowed separation from this physical reality through an energetic experience created in our minds toward that point that we then call our ‘desire/ want/ need’

This implies that all we are currently following is our own self interest, without understanding how such cultivation of personal-needs/ special needs are only existent for those that have money and that form part of the ‘active participants in society’ wherein money has defined who is valuable to the system to perpetuate its functioning and who’s not, thus using Media to create an incentive for ourselves to enter the ‘realm of happiness’/ become part of the Elite where money buys the smiles and fulfillment, using money that is also a belief system of abuse due to it being created only out of thin air with its main purpose being the control and centralization of power for a few, while entertaining ‘the masses’ to contribute to this through entertainment/ media in order to continually go seeking for theses positive experiences that are linked to the ideal image/ presentation of successful living  of those that sit in the royal chairs of ‘power and control’ within the same configured system of ‘power’ = ‘money,’ which is actually only a make-believe system, hence: NO power is real, no money is Real but what is Real is the abuse that we inflict upon ourselves every time that we diminish ourselves to Believing that such money is in fact ‘powerful’ and that owning/ possessing something/ someone is in fact making ourselves ‘more’ than who we already here – this happening every time that we follow a single desire to acquire, buy and consume in means of personal satisfaction and fulfillment.

 

When and as I see myself wanting to blame something or someone for the current state of reality we’re living in, in separation of myself – I stop and I breathe – I realize that we are ‘specialists’ in projecting blame toward others for being ‘the villain’ and ‘the bad guydoing this to ourselves, without understanding how it is that we created our own reasons and justifications to perpetuate a system wherein self interest is the main cultivated aspect of ‘who we are’ as human beings, wherein everything that we have created and configured as our world system – money, policies, economy, education, religions, leisure, science, technology – is directed to benefit and please only a fraction of the population that have enough money to really have a good life, which is the main primary point that is promoted through media/ ads everywhere, infiltrating what’s cunningly called ‘public opinion’ to create a commonly accepted ‘standard living’ in society based Not on a common well being and direct understanding and interaction with nature/ the Earth, the animal kingdom as part of ‘who we are,’ but instead diminished everything to only being a consuming-aspect to keep up the ‘satisfaction’ experience within ourselves as our mind which must be understood as the very mechanism of self-depletion that we run on a daily basis, being the relationship of who we are as the mind toward the physical the actual point to investigate  and learn about, to understand How we have made of consumption to sustain our physicality an entire mind-created experience linked to getting ‘the most of it all’ and defining such point of abuse as ‘power’ without understanding a thing about the current monetary system wherein such power can in fact only stem from the abuse inflicted to all of the Earth’s resources, animal kingdom, humanity as well in order to ‘keep running’ this entire machinery that we have called a ‘living system,’ which is in fact not at all so, because we have not  yet established our individual understanding of equality and oneness as this physical reality which is then why and how

I commit myself to support myself to continue understanding who I am in relation to the world system, how my very own thoughts/ participation in emotions and feelings and defining this entire reality according to a value-system wherein the monetary system I have believed to have any ‘solid foundation’ is in fact determining my own relationship to other beings, things and the world in itself, due to us having accepted and allowed ourselves to diminish who we are to a set of predefined, predetermined, finite relationships based on energetic experiences such as power, success, happiness through consumption which must be first of all understood as the relationship that we have created within ourselves toward our own mind in separation of the physicality that we are, which is the first step to consider if we see and realize how our own system is flawed from the very beginning of its creation, and our existence as a whole, because we separated ourselves from each other and developing relationships toward one another and giving it a value, which is the premise that lead us to currently desire, want and need such experience of ‘reuniting’ as a possession/ consumption point instead of an equal and one relationship and understanding of who we are as equal and one to that point of desire, want and need.

 

Walk with us in our Journey To Life and to establish a living-common-sense in our reality through a Monetary Reform that that we can All participate in through democratic means, simply by externalizing our awareness of how this entire world system is a scam that we have all been participants of and within that, taking responsibility for the consequences we’ve created through establishing a life-considerate system as the Equal Money System, so that we can re-establish our relationships to ourselves, the world/ each other in Equality and no more create belief systems of ‘power’ and ‘success’ only through accepting life being limited to a single energetic experience that can only exist through the abuse of the physical through the mind.

Time to Wake the fuck up!

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144. Obsessive and Possessive Patterns: My belongings

I had a dream wherein I was going to the farm with someone and realized that we had arrived without baggage. I saw how the other person seemed to not care at all about it, however I saw myself manipulating the moment by becoming anxious, desperate, talking in an acute voice tonality and moving around in a fast pace from side to side in an attempt to actually make others to ‘get the point’ and take us back to the airport to get our luggage.  It seemed that I was really possessed with the entire point of ‘getting my bag,’ feeling like ‘unprotected’ without it, and I questioned how it was that the other person was not really caring much about having no bag with himself.

And in that dream I can recognize a pattern of myself, which is how I tend to not Live in the moment whenever there’s something that is absolutely occupying my entire attention: I ‘forget’ about breathing and with that, everything else in the environment. In the dream I forgot to enjoy the arrival to the place and actually enjoying being there again – Instead, I was moving around, rushing and finding any and all ways to get back to the airport to get my stuff, literally being possessed to get a cab, find someone to get us/ me back to the airport. So, here some points walked in Self Forgiveness wherein I decided to hold and create the backchat and obsession of ‘wanting to get all my stuff right fucking now,’ projecting blame to other beings and as such, even missing out the actual cool moment to see everyone again as I was too busy throwing a fit about our bags not being with us, while deliberately hiding the fact that I had ‘forgotten’ about the baggage because of also getting caught in the entire point of meeting another person, which is also the subtle moments wherein I also tend to ‘lose sight of the moment’ and go into an absolute possession of ‘being meeting someone’ and creating an entire  experience about it in my mind, eventually forgetting about things/ losing things due to my attention being diverted to another one single point – quite a pattern. It was also interesting how the other person’s ‘unattached’ stance toward ‘belongings/ ownerships’ was in my face and making a point with it, yet I would react to it with further backchat instead of actually taking a moment to breathe and actually let go of the possession/ learn from his reaction to support myself that way.

 

So, within this blog I’ll walk the first dimension of the dreams as obsession wherein I was absolutely moving based on my self-interest, which seems like it’s  been the only way we have ever always ‘moved’ ourselves as humanity.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become ‘possessed’ by the stuff that I have defined as ‘my belongings’ wherein I simply became absolutely focused on ‘getting my stuff back no matter what,’ missing out each and every single moment of  breath, being spending my time with another/others for the very first time and ‘enjoying’ the entire moment, just because of wanting to ‘have all my shit together’ before settling down.

When and as I see myself being absolutely possessed by ‘my belongings’ the moment that for one reason or another I am not able to have it all together, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I cannot ‘change’ the events by becoming anxious and desperate to go back to get them – instead I simply direct myself to explain the point to someone else so that we can eventually get ourselves to ‘get our stuff back,’ instead of making such fuss and a big deal out of ‘not having my stuff,’ worrying and throwing a tantrum, fearing ending up without anything, which indicates the actual pattern wherein I see I can ‘lose myself’ from being here as breath: when missing out my belongings and ‘losing everything I have,’ which is actually related to how money is our security/ safety bubble, which is a point I opened up a couple of days ago.

I commit myself to actually realize the unnecessary distress and worry that I create in my mind as thoughts when wanting to ‘get what I want’ right away which is stemming from an actual fear of losing it all as well as my ‘happiness point’ wherein I got used to ‘having all I want’ right away, without realizing that who I am is here and that all I can lose is stuff that I have become possessed by as my belongings and turning them into my ‘point of stability’ in separation of myself here as breath –thus I realize that they are not ‘attached’ to my body and that I cannot define myself and my moment according to having them or not having them. I realize that use I give to all I have, however, it is not ‘the end of the world’ if I see myself without them all.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within the thought of not having my bags with me, I immediately go into fear of loss as all the money invested on clothes and ‘personal belongings’ along with stuff that I had some type of ‘attachment’ toward, which indicates there is a point of possession that I am feeding as things = money that I can earn or lose in one go, within this not yet equalizing myself as everything that I have wherein I realize the current means and ways that one can get money being not ‘readily available,’ however, becoming possessed by ‘our belongings’ is definitely a mind-defined relationship instead of an actual realization of self-equality and oneness.

When and as I see myself reacting to seeing the thought of ‘my bag with all my belongings’ as a point of potential loss, I stop and I breathe – I realize that this attachment I have programmed through the value I have separated myself from and as money, which implies that there is no actual ‘loss’ as the who I really am in this reality, and that the loss is only a point of losing that which I had ‘made my own’ through the same means in which we have kid each other as apparent ‘owners’ of something – and even someone as well at times – that we can in fact ‘lose’ –

I realize I cannot lose myself as I am already here – and that all points of separation as ‘value’ upon a piece of what’s here that I had made/named ‘my belongings’ must be reviewed in order to realize in common sense this is how we currently exist as with regards to ‘things’ outside of ourselves, yet this in no way can define who I really am as the physical being that uses what’s here to live.

I commit myself to let go of the specific attachments I have created throughout time toward ‘that which is mine,’ and instead equalize myself to it, so that I do not hold this ‘strong definition’ based on what I see and believe is ‘important’ to me as belongings –this is an actual point to walk due to how I had defined the ‘who I am’ based on the stuff that I see and have a constant relationship with on a daily basis in my reality – being it clothes, computer, stuff in my room, artwork, ‘things’ that I have defined as ‘indispensable’ in my mind – yet never really seeing what is really indispensable and what is only keeping a certain dimension of self-possession in my mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the other being’s parsimony and nonchalant attitude toward the realization that ‘we had missed our bags/ left them at the airport,’ in which I saw the image of the being just laying on bed almost not ‘caring at all,’ while I was with my nerves all spiked up wanting to go to the airport ‘as fast as possible’ to get our stuff back – within this judging the being’s attitude as careless, lazy, complacent and passive, just because of the being showing little to no interest to be concerned the same what that I was with regards to ‘my belongings.’

When and as I see myself judging another being as ‘too passive’ and ‘nonchalant’ to deal with situations that I have defined as ‘emergencies’ wherein immediate action is required – I stop and I breathe – I realize that I have to actually slow down to see how reacting to another’s attitude of patience and parsimony is a way for me to complain about them not supporting my mind fuck.

I realize that I had in fact been judgmental and at the same time jealous of beings’ attitude toward loss, wherein I believe that they would have to be ‘going up in flames’ as well, but instead seeing them act and taking it all ‘without a care’, which is what I have taken as a crutch for me to react even more toward them and blaming them for ‘not giving a fuck/ not caring about the whole thing ‘the same way I do,’ and in this, actually taking a self-righteous position of me being the ‘good person’ because of caring ‘too much’ about the event, which is absolute self-manipulation to make myself ‘the winner/ the caring one’ within this entire event,  in this

I commit myself to actually stop always aiming to be the one with the ‘right judgment’ at all times, wanting to impose my view as ‘that which is right,’ which is the way that I still want to hold on to my mind in a self-righteous mode, instead I support myself to learn from others in fact, to see how it is possible to exist without an actual attachment toward ‘things’ in my reality and still manage to live.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that a person that ‘truly cares’ shows emotions of worry and preoccupation, rushing and ‘moving around in a fast pace’ as if such attitudes were in fact necessary when giving direction to a point that requires immediate to short term solutions. I realize that I have only created such belief in my mind based on parental patterns of rushing, preoccupying/ worrying about things and creating attachment toward things ‘of my own,’ without realizing that I cannot own, I cannot have ‘control’ over my reality and that any point of fear of loss must be confronted/ faced as the actual point of possession it represents: fearing losing ‘my belongings’ as ‘my stuff’ as a way to justify me being pissed off, exalted and rushing to get things ‘back to me,’ wherein I am only caring about me-me-me, my time, my stuff and moving everything and everyone I can to get my stuff back as a synonym of getting ‘my comfort, peace and security back’ which is unacceptable, as it’s mind possession.

When and as I see myself wanting to become emotional in anger or anxiety and distress when things are ‘not going my way,’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is just a mind fit that in no way assists and support ourselves to get things done, it is only a mind-driven reaction that serves no one. Thus

I commit myself to stop manipulating myself through emotions of anxiousness despair, worry and concern whenever I want things to get done the way that I want it, how I want it, as fast as I want it and in the moment that I want it which is precisely what I have lived as in my reality: subtly moving people around in a way wherein I can get a benefit and/or support to ‘do what I want/ get what I want,’ which is then the point to expose toward myself and eradicate, as I see and realize that it is in this seemingly ‘petty reaction’ that a great ‘chunk’ of my personality resides: moving and directing things as fast as possible when and where there is an immediate point of self interest to cover, while creating a negative reaction and backchat toward those that are ‘in the same situation,’ yet do not approve/ support my reaction/mindfuck the way that ‘I’ expected them to do, in this

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always seek for at least 1 other person to ‘backup’ my mindfuck, wherein I am still wanting to get things done ‘my way,’ even if I know that ‘my way’ is absolute self interest and actual obsession in that moment. It is unacceptable to want to get at least one other person to ‘agree’ with my mind possession as a way to validate it as real and ‘a good reason’ to get what I want. In this

When and as I see myself deciding to act as a point of mind-possession wherein I am moving the earth and mountains to get my point of desire/ want and need done, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am actually being possessed in this moment by the entire situation wherein I am not considering anything or anyone else BUT My point of happiness which is being obsessed with  become ‘getting it,’/ making it/ going somewhere and essentially, not stopping the mindfuck till it is satisfied/ done/ achieved– thus

I commit myself to stop supporting my own wants/ needs and desires that come up in a cyclic manner in my mind, and instead breathe and realize that if the point is in fact relevant to give direction to in common sense and placing self interest aside, I can direct myself to see the viable options –here as breath – to give direction to the point. However if it is only a point of ‘immediacy’ just because I say so, it’s absolutely unacceptable and as such must be stopped by myself immediately, as I see and realize that I am also involving others in ‘move’ that I have to also take into consideration at all times to make a decision that’s best for all. This way I ensure myself to not be immediately caught manipulating and controlling others to ‘get things done,’ but I instead take such points and walk them myself first in self honesty to ensure I am not possessed by my own interest to give direction to something/ someone

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consider my obsessive-compulsive behavior as a curse and a virtue wherein the curse arises when becoming dependent on a particular pattern, getting things done and a virtue as this ‘gets me moving,’ without realizing that both starting points are equally fucked as they are stemming from an actual fear – of loss/ lacking/ being unprotected in this case – instead of being actual points of self-movement in the moment within common sense.

When and as I see myself becoming compulsive with regards to depending on a particular habit of extreme lack/ need in an urgent manner to immediately move, I stop and I breathe – I realize that there’s no need to create a situation of ‘extreme lack’ and ‘rush’ to get things done, no matter how it has worked ‘in the past,’ who I am cannot be repeating the same ‘effective formulas’ of myself in the past – thus I ensure that I actually walk a point without having to take it o the very last consequences before losing all time to move, and in this actually create a habit of distributing enough time and consideration to check all points required when and while moving, directing, doing something in our reality.

I realize that the ‘obsessive point’ of not stopping doing something until it is done can be a ‘cool thing’ if the starting point is clearly self-supportive at all times and it doesn’t become a one point to procrastinate and eventually do ‘all at once’ in the least amount of time possible – I realize that I have created this pattern throughout time wherein I had even involved ‘luck’ as a factor to determine things always ‘turning out well’ at the end when taking on a project, task or a single point to ‘move’ and direct, as I see and realize that this is hope here acting and not actual self movement at all times.

I commit myself to slow myself down to breath when the mind is rushing wanting and trying/ attempting to get something done. Instead I walk at the breathing pace to establish solutions according to the actual need and practical requirements of the solution.

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become thoughts as an experience wherein even in my dreams, and knowing beforehand that I can just breathe and exist ‘here,’ I allowed myself to be possessed by the worry and concern of ‘losing money’ through losing my bag, representing that attachment/ value that I have given to possessions that are in fact an imposition of property over that which is here from and of the Earth, transformed into ‘products’ that we buy and sell to ‘make a living’ within a delusional system wherein we created a big lie as monetary system in order to support the mind’s desire of power as an illusion that can only be ‘made real’ through imposing private property as ownership upon the Earth in the name of personal benefit and personal interest.

 

When and as I see myself getting concerned about ‘losing my belongings’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that ‘my belongings’ is but an imposition I have beLieved myself to be real in order to justify my point of control/ imposition over life for my own benefit. Thus, it is to see that it is the relationship created with money that which is to be reviewed the moment that we allow ourselves to be mind possessed/ obsessed with thoughts that indicate fear of loss while creating a point of need, desire and want to satisfy that ‘fear of loss’ – this indicates already the type of conflict that we create only in our minds while abusing the very physical reality that has allowed ourselves to ‘bear’ the mindfucks that we indulge in, the moment that we use the mind to create a point of worry, concern, going into obsession and thinking possession out of fearing losing something that was never ‘mine’ in the first place, which places into context how it is that I have accepted and allowed myself to be still regarding material possessions as ‘the point’ of possession even in the slightest /sly-test situations.

 

I commit myself to actually let go of the value, regard that I have imprinted onto ‘everything that I own’ as ‘my belongings’ to ensure that I in fact stop defining ‘who I am’ according to ‘what I own’ and as such, commit myself to review the attachments I have created toward my ‘material possessions’ as it is not even a matter of ‘how much money I have’ or how ‘expensive’ my belongings are, but the value and worth that I have given them in my mind as the ‘who I am’ being defined by such belongings.

 

This will continue…

 

Support yourself to get to see the ‘seemingly unnoticeable’ of how we live and act like on a daily basis, to finally ensure we are in fact able to stand as beings that live and do what’s best for  all at all times, no matter what – Desteni I Process 

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143. Only the Privileged Ones get to Live

Does this sound elitist to you? Well, this is implied in the laws under which we’ve been all living in and by: Money is a privilege that is only granted to 1/4 of the Earth’s population, and us people behind our computers are part of it – ‘Noooo!’ Yesss, we are, clearly so, otherwise we would not be able to read, have a computer, have a sound body that is nurtured with the Earth’s resources that Should be Unconditionally Given to All Beings to Live – yet, what have we done? We have created a set of arbitrary ‘rules’ to dictate who lives and who dies, this implies that we could recognize each other as the ultimate criminals: we are all responsible for the killings of billions of human beings, animals, the Earths resources in the name of profit as that illusion of power and control that Our delusional monetary system enables in our reality.

What does this make us all? A bunch of thieves, elitists and selfish beings. However what I have realized throughout the years of having lived for a long time on the ‘leftist/ judgmental’ type of personality, I saw that the plethora of judgments toward the world system, people and essentially everyone in this world lead me nowhere and instead became just another excuse and justification to Not realize how it is that I was simply adding my 2 kg of dirt to an ever-growing empire of shit – yes, high jacking Reznor here – and never even daring to see HOW I was only judging me, really, how every single flaw I could get pissed of about in our reality made by so-called ‘Nasty beings’ was only a way to make myself seem ‘superior’ in my mind against those that I haughtily judged as despicable, nasty and absolutely abhorring in this world, in which I would obviously place politicians for the most part in such category.

I had an interesting experience today meeting one – whether it was real or not – most likely not however for what it was, it played a cool character to confront for a moment. There was this idea of ‘the privileged ones’ came up when speaking about the NASA’s endeavors  to ‘save humanity’ through going to explore another planet -and I saw that it ‘pissed me off’ the most as he was clearly indicating that ‘finding life in mars could mean the ability to send human beings there to ‘save the race’ – I pointed out how that could only be just another selfish act and that we should instead just focus on Earth to support all beings equally here – he said, well, it’s clear that not everyone will be saved, and only the privileged ones will remain. And I cringed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get pissed off at words that imply that ‘only the privileged ones on Earth’ will remain alive after ‘all the trials and tribulations,’ which is actually a statement based on Fear wherein money acts as the idea of ‘security’ that money has existed as and provided for those that can ‘assure’ their lives through money.

When and as I see myself getting pissed off at people speaking about how there are ‘privileged ones’ on Earth that will ‘deserve’ to continue living as an example of the human race, I stop and I breathe – I realize that the punitive judgment that I have inflicted upon another’s words is actually anger toward myself and all for having accepted and allowed the belief of there being ‘special beings’ in this world and that in any way such ‘privileged ones’ could be ‘saved’ on Earth, without realizing that we are actually living by/ as this punitive system wherein Life is only awarded/ given/ offered to those that hold the point of current ‘power and control’ as money, while the rest of humanity that do not have such ‘power’ as money are left to die in starvation or abused in the most horrid ways ‘just to make a living,’ in essence becoming the ‘modern day slaves’ for a consumerist apocalyptic world.

I commit myself to make of this world a privileged place to live in, wherein I can ensure that I am able to face each being and say I have in fact done what I can in order to honor life, to establish an Equality System wherein we can ensure that who we are stands as Life for eternity. And within this, realizing that there is no magic wand in this statement as it is an actual decision that I commit myself to live till the day that I die.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge anyone that lives as the perfect example of ‘only the privileged ones get to live’ wherein I would immediately associate the word privilege as a special, superior position of ‘power’ as money/ wealth, without realizing how it is that just by the fact of having money, I am part of the ‘privileged ones’ on Earth that can already have a ‘privileged life’ when compared to those other beings that have no money to live and as such, ignoring the fact that it is ourselves we judge at all times when ‘judging the system,’ ‘judging the corrupt and filthy rich politicians,’ without realizing that it is ourselves that exist as an actual point of abuse toward other living beings that are equally here, yet we have disregarded them the moment that we aGreed to create a monetary system that could ensure only a few could have money and the rest ‘strive to live’ or have no money at all, which would ensure a finite death/dead end to a living being’s life,

When and as I see myself judging people for so-called ‘elitist comments,’ I stop and I breathe – I take the point back to self to see where it is that I am in fact judging, getting angry at and reacting to words that are actually showing me where I have contributed to the abuse, elitism and segregation in this world based on the belief that money is in fact real and that money is that which ‘enables us to live,’ a Major misconception and general ‘saying’ without awareness wherein we do not see and realize how it is the Earth itself that enables us to live – the air we breathe, the foods we eat, the relationships we establish with the environment is what Living is – thus

I realize that diminishing ‘living’ to having lots of money to experience the ultimate ‘pleasure of success’ in one’s life is part of the brainwashing and indoctrination moves wherein we reduced ‘living’ to consumption, living to satisfying make-believe needs that could only support an entire ‘lifestyle’ that we all aspired to get to live, as ‘privileged ones’ that would not have to ‘deal’ with the ‘Earthly problems,’ placing ourselves in a comfortable bubble of money so that we would not have to ‘wake up’ to reality, but built a make-believe reality upon the fallacy that money has always been.

I realize that whenever I see myself judging something/ someone it is in fact me only considering Me-me-me at all times within a point of specialness as the money that creates in our lives and that I can certainly assist and support myself to walk in Self Forgiveness to see how the separation exists and how it all begun.

I commit myself to expose how we create separation, elitism as the desire to be ‘more’ than others based only on knowledge and information, such as the current money-experience we have in our every day living, which is all that we have become: beings reducing life to a single experience which is the actual point to be corrected in fact: to realize we are here as life and that it is only in Equality that life can thrive.

to be continued…

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92. Thinking = Metaphysics

How deep is your thought? Is it really ‘out of reach?’ or are mysteries another way to keep us occupied in our minds? Is thinking a hobby? A blatant way to keep us enter-tamed?

Fathomless
1    [usually with negative] understand (something) after much thought.
2    measure the depth of.


 

I just became aware of how we can feed each other’s experience within just being here wherein thinking becomes a mental masturbation, trying to ‘grasp’ our understand reality. Now, I had talked about this before in the Stoned Philosopher – and this is something similar – however the point here is indulging into the act of analyzing and thinking in itself as a way to understand, wanting to make sense instead of seeing common sense.

 

Hell, this knocks hard on my guts as I have throughout my life delved so many times in the ‘unfathomable’ and then resorting to THINKING to make sense of it all. So the point here is to walk how I have tried to ‘Make Sense’ of something instead of walking it breath by breathe – knowledge will never be life, because knowledge was in itself the very consequence of our awareness being in separation of self here.

 

Now, I definitely recommend listening to the interviews ‘The Secret History of the Universe to understand this point. To me, ‘the ‘thinker’ it was a ‘profound revelation’ = another character- that I gave too much value to, so much that I heard the interview #6 about 6 times already, something I had not done with others before. So, within this the ‘fathomless’ character which I had specifically defined according to and toward ‘the origin of ourselves’ was being debunked in my ears, just like that – and that was a ‘shocker’ to my personality that would rejoice trying to ‘grasp’ things with thoughts in my mind.

Now, it’s cool that the word came up, because it had become ‘me’ so much that I was not even looking at it. Yet, it is thinking, it is ‘trying to understand’ and ‘grasp’ in separation of myself here.

 

Hence, Self Forgiveness ladies and gentleman.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become the ‘fathomless character’ that I used to resort to every time that I would indulge in wondering and trying to ‘find out’ truths of the universe and our existence, creation in an attempt to ‘make sense’ of myself through thinking, without ever realizing that thinking in itself is separating self from here as self-awareness as a whole, wherein ‘awareness’ then became only knowledge and information that I used as a way to intellectualize my reality and within that, missing everything that is HERE as myself, as reality, as the physical and only believing that ‘through thinking I would get to the truth of it all.’

 

When and as I see myself resorting to knowledge and information in separation of myself to try and attempt to ‘make sense’ of myself and my reality, I stop and I breathe. I realize that knowledge and information in separation of myself is just another way to keep me occupied in my mind while missing what is here. I realize that every point that I am able to understand about myself exists here as myself – there is no separate point that I can ‘seek to attain’ as that would be the character seeking its fuel to continue existing, which I am not.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create this fathomless character when I was a child and learning how to read, picking up a book about the universe and the space travels and within that, generating this fathomlessness experience within me wherein the thought of the universe overwhelmed me and deciding that ‘I would never ever get to grasp who we are/ how big is the universe/ get to know the universe itself’ and in that, becoming a ‘thinker’ throughout my life wherein from this premise of separating myself from what is here through thinking and making ‘the thought’ of the universe as More than myself, I became a seeker of the truth, seeker of knowledge in an attempt to understand who I am, why I am, how I am through knowledge and information outside of myself, instead of Looking into Myself.

 

When and as I see myself stepping into the fathomless character and experiencing myself to be ‘overwhelmed with knowledge,’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am separating myself from here and that I do not require to make of knowledge and information as something separate from myself in order to ‘make sense’ of who I am. Who and What I am does not require to be ‘made sense of,’ but simply walked, lived and understood upon practical living and self-introspection through writing, applying self-forgiveness and establishing myself here as the physical to really, in fact get to know me from the practical physical reality that is here as the totality of this world, beginning with my own mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become an analyst of myself, others and reality in separation of myself, believing that because I am able to ‘understand’ I am now more ‘empowered’ in a way which I am not, because who I really am is not knowledge and I have to instead realize that I have simply separated myself from understanding and realizing who I am because of having separated myself to live only as a mind consciousness system that works through knowledge and information in separation of the physical reality that is here – thus, I walk through the information and practical application thereof in order to ensure that what I realize and understand is able to support me to stop the ‘fathomlessness’ character and as such, occupy myself with the matters that are here in this world to be taken care of, which is the Reality that we have veiled through the illusion of the mind.  (Please listen to How Illusion became Reality for further context)

 

I realize that whenever I see myself not hearing here completely and absolutely to a interview, it is because I am trying to protect that which I had become to such an extent that it is almost like not wanting to take the mask off because of the value/ worth I had given to the character as myself, as self-definition.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that being an analyst, a ‘thinker’ was a natural ability to me and that it thus defined ‘who I am’ as a person that is able to ‘understand/ grasp more than others,’ which means that it became the egotistical character o ‘understanding’ in separation of self, as no knowledge and information can possibly make someone more than another-  yet within this I see that I complied to the rules of the system wherein  I learned that ‘knowledge is power,’ and a such believing that I was special and unique for having all these existential questions and eventually getting to the answers only to find out it had all been a blatant character mindfuck, which is pretty cool.

 

When and as I see myself stepping into the ‘thinker’ character when I am alone with myself and getting a kick of excitement when ‘understanding’ reality along with a sense of the opposite because there are no more ‘mysteries unsolved’ in my mind, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I am now simply being able to understand and equalize myself to that which I have always been and existed as – yet separated myself from when becoming just one single character in this character reality. This means that walking through knowledge and information that explains the reality of myself here is no more than who I am, it does not make special, it is only an opportunity to now stop my actual ‘kick’ such as indulging in mysteries and wonderings and trying to elucidate about reality, which had become a past time in itself in my life, thinking about the world, life, the universe and never even questioning such ‘thinking’ activity in itself, but considered that I was special because I was asking such questions myself.

 

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to create an entire personality out of ‘not being understood’ about my fascination with the universe and existence and pondering ‘where do I come from?’ ‘Who am I?’ ‘Why am I Here?’ which were the basic questions that got me into seeking answers as knowledge to ‘make sense of myself,’ seeking for solutions in separation of myself without ever even realizing that if we are all that exists then we are the origin, and as such, we would have to eventually realize who/ what we are as it is in ourselves – and instead focusing on removing the veils and conditions we have imposed onto ourselves and this world to not see the Reality – and instead realize that we veiled ourselves in order to continue existing only as an experience, instead of realizing ourselves as one and equal here.

Realizing ourselves as one and equal is a living-practical process, it cannot be taught onto another, it cannot be solved through knowledge and information – it can only be practically realized through getting to know ourselves as our own mind, seeing who we are in relation to others, to the environment, toward this entire world that we had separated ourselves from the moment that we became only this separate bubble of knowledge and information as the Awareness of self in relation to defining ‘who we are’ based on comparing/ contrasting/ differentiating ourselves from one another.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create an experience of ‘fuck! we missed it all the time’ and going into some instant kind of remorse or regret – whatever it is that came up in that moment – it is just another mind-created experience upon knowledge and information – thus

 

When and as I see myself listening to points wherein I realized to what extent we have separated ourselves from ourselves, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I have allowed a tendency to get infatuated with knowledge and information and with that, going into the ‘I missed it all’ type of experience based on not having been able to fulfill my desire to ‘know it all’ form the beginning, which is yet another character of ‘wanting to know it all,’ without taking into consideration that this is not about one individual knowing or understanding, but about realizing how we came to be who we are, how we came to ‘separate’ ourselves through knowledge and information from that moment that our awareness was directed in separation of another as ourselves.

 

Thus I realize that any experience that comes when getting information, stems from me going into a personal interest of ‘wanting to know it all’ in separation of myself, which is useless. I walk the point here to assist and support me to stop participation in further curiosity about the world, reality, who we are as it is quite obvious by now that there cannot be something ‘more’ than myself to be understood, but that these are practical points of support to understand How we got ourselves to the point we are in currently and through that, walking a physical living process to place that into application to finally see and realize and place into action our actual potential as creators, as expressions of what is and has always been here.

 

When and as I see myself going ‘deep in thought’ such as trying to fathom things in separation of myself in the physical moment, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I can only work/ walk what is here as myself in the physical moment – I instead ensure that I am not trying to go into ‘deep thinking’ based on wanting to avoid taking responsibility of myself in the physical moment and my physical reality, which is how the ‘thinking’ became a habit/ hobby in itself to escape reality.

 

I forgive myself that I have never ever accepted and allowed myself to realize how thinking had become a habit and a hobby in itself, wherein it would not matter that I was alone because I had my mind as ‘best friend’ to talk myself into multiple realities and outcomes trying to ‘understand myself’ and ‘make sense of myself,’ wherein I built a character of ‘thinking myself’ in itself, which is like meta-physics in itself, lol, going beyond the physical to try and understand ‘who I am’ as thinking, never realizing I was only going to perpetually loop around the same thoughts and the same programs as ‘thinking’ itself, which is not HERE as the totality of myself – yet.

 

When and as I see myself ‘rethinking’ the information and knowledge I am able to listen, I stop and I breathe – I realize that being HERE when and while reading/ understanding is sufficient to grasp the points that I require to grasp and that I do not require to make of this information something to ‘know’ but simply integrate it within myself as an understanding that supports me to stop the ‘incognita’ creating the ‘fathomless character’ within me.

Therefore, I walk through the material that is provided as self-support for what it is, wherein I see and realize that making it something ‘outstanding’ and ‘over myself’ is also ego and a character that tends to go into a positive experience as a ‘Eureka!’ type of realization that I then fuel by over-hearing something as if I could grasp ‘more’ than what is said in an attempt to make it something ‘great’ and ‘magnificent’ above myself, without realizing that: all that I am listening and hearing is part of who I am that I have separated myself from – thus it is no more than myself, it is only a point of support to see, realize and understand myself here.

 

I commit myself to stop thinking as a habit that goes into the ‘deep crevasses of my mind’ in an attempt to understand in separation of myself, as I realize that no knowledge and information can change ‘who I am’ already – and that I instead have to see how I have accepted and allowed myself to become knowledge and information in separation of myself here.

 

For further support, visit the Desteni Forum

Read the blogs at Journey to Life to find out why we are committing ourselves to walk out of our minds and establish ourselves as the physical, within the realization that it is in the awareness of ourselves as knowledge and information that this entire journey began.

Back to Nothingness

 

Thanks for reading.

 

I am made of the fabric of existence – Birthing Life from the Physical 2008

 

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Interviews to Understand what I was ‘pondering’ about here to stop all existential woes:


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