Tag Archives: tough love

520. Self-Accountability and Tough Love

Or understanding and realizing the necessary nature of applying ‘tough love’ in order to honor our own lives and that of others in the name of what’s best for all.

Many times while being in relationships we lose track of our personal self-agreement and where we stand in personal principles and self-support because of perceiving that a relationship is an entity created between ‘two individuals’ – and yes in normal relationships this is how it goes where a lot of compromise and fears as well as positive experiences can be defined through the sum of two individuals existing ‘for each other’ and depending ‘on each other’ completely at an emotional or feeling level – which means at a mind level. However within this process from consciousness to self-awareness the notion of ‘relationships’ is redefined as the creation of an agreement where one or more people agree to support themselves to be the best version of themselves and do whatever is necessary to align themselves to the principles of life, of equality and oneness, of self-honesty and self-support.

Therefore it is about ‘who we are as individuals’ in a relationship where it doesn’t matter if one in the relationship isn’t aware of this process from consciousness to awareness, one can establish a self-agreement with ourselves in honoring these principles and ensuring that we work with our self-change and self-responsibility, honoring one’s life first and foremost.

This means that one’s personal point of focus should not be on what the other person does or doesn’t do to support themselves but instead, what defines us as individuals in the relationship is where we stand all the way in it, who we are in our lives, our principles,  how we work through our own patterns, how we apply our points of change, how we confront situations of conflict, how we are willing to let go of a righteousness and ego in order to recognize and so change one’s own faults and problems. And yes, at the same time decide for ourselves if one is willing to and is able to stand in a relationship where one knows the other person is not supporting themselves or standing in a principle of self-support at the very least – that decision and choice becomes part of our self-honesty as in seeing what we accept and allow ourselves to live with or not.

Here focusing on myself within the creation of a relationship, I found this point of personal accountability or ‘self-accountability’ to be quite supportive as in ‘keeping track’ of myself, who we are, what I’ve done or haven’t done in my self-relationship of self-support.  

In past relationships I would condition ‘me changing’ according to ‘others changing too’ or others showing or demonstrating that they were also doing their part, which becomes the perfect recipe for spite and developing an extremely conditional nature in our minds where the focus is on ‘others’ and not on oneself at all. Therefore this time I decided to not condition myself according to ‘another one’ and instead stick to my self-agreement where I can be able to recognize where I am reacting, where I am not defining me and my change in relation to ‘the relationship with another’ only or re-enacting past relationship patterns; and in general where I am conditioning my own point of change in relation to others changing as well or others looking into ‘their own problems or faults’ too, which is also a covert point of blame and ‘focusing on another’ only instead of entirely focusing on oneself.

Here I share this as a cautionary tale so that one takes into consideration not creating this kind of spite and expectations within a relationship where if one is holding the other accountable first and focusing on what another does or doesn’t do to then decide to change or not change,  the whole point of self-accountability and self-responsibility becomes null within oneself, because then we turn our focus and attention into blaming others for not doing their part, for not changing, for not living up to our expectations, and that’s definitely a point of self-dishonesty for the person that is keeping the finger pointed ‘at others’ only, but is not focusing or even willing to look back to self first.

What I’ve learned to do is to focus on myself entirely – and no, this is not ‘selfishness’ as it might be perceived, but a basic aspect of self-responsibility and accountability within a self-agreement within which I decided to step into the creation of a relationship with another. Therefore this allowed me to work every time on letting go of my expectations of what I wanted the other person to do or be for myself – yet also speaking up whenever something was very obvious to be opened up for their own awareness and self-work. At the same time, I had to also be considerate of another’s life, mind, characters and ‘ways of being’ that I learned to adjust in quite an effective manner – though also of course being ready and willing to draw a line whenever something is out of the agreed best for all and self-supportive habits and ways in our shared living.

This latter point of ‘drawing a line’ whenever one sees that a basic principle of committing to self-support in a relationship that is established at the beginning of a relationship is not being followed through, is what might be defined as ‘tough love’ where one is willing to be first of all accountable to oneself and so another in the sense that: in self-honesty and within the consideration of what’s best for all, allowing the other person to face for example the breakup of a relationship as the best way for them to realize what each one is doing to themselves and how not following through a self-agreement leads to consequences or results that are compromising for all individuals involved.

This outcome of applying ‘tough love’ is a necessity and an aspect of establishing an agreement – either with another or alone within oneself as self-agreement – where if the basic points of self-responsibility, self-honesty and self-support are not being lived in thought, word and deed and is causing consequences for each other’s lives, then one has to honor the starting point of the relationship redefined as an ‘agreement’ between two or more – and so all parts can agree how it is best to let go of the relationship in order to assist each other to face the points, the aspects where we didn’t stand up in it all.

It’s just like any contract or creation of a society as well or ‘team’ that exist to create, build, direct, expand, work on something – and if the basic functionality of this is not existent then it simply makes sense to dissolve the union and work on an individual basis to strengthen and change the points that led to the failure or inconsistency in the joint process.

This might seem like a harsh move or ‘insensible’ because of not considering people’s feelings but that’s exactly what we have to stop blinding ourselves with if we are to truly honor our lives. It might also sound like not being considerate, not being patient or not being lenient enough– but that’s also where self-accountability is a great way to measure ‘who we’ve been’ within the whole relationship or point of creation in our lives.

For example in my case realizing that I have in fact developed patience, consideration, flexibility, unconditional support, doing to another what I would like another to be an do for themselves, working to stop my own expectations, stopping being so exigent, being less controlling (yep still working on that one!) and be able to reference all of it with another who also in self-honesty would be able to recognize what has been done or hasn’t been done by each one in the relationship.

Therefore what I’ve realized is that what might be initially perceived as ‘tough love’ is from my perspective a very necessary measure to apply to allow another person to understand the nature of self-creation, to understand the consequences of not living up to one’s utmost potential and that includes of course myself first of all, where I can also see and become aware of my own points of compromise, my choices, my decisions, assessing ‘where I am’ and ‘where I am going next’ which yes would be directed to a supportive outcome and potential within a relationship. However this is precisely what I have to leave clear for myself and so share here as a general reminder for anyone reading: there is a vast and visible difference between seeing a ‘potential’ in a relationship and in one another and living such potential or actively working to become that potential and having physical reality proof of that in thought, word and deed as the nature of who we are at all times.

This is how in personal accountability, we can establish our own clarity to see who we are, what we have done or haven’t done, who we’ve been within an entire point of self-creation and hold ourselves accountable for it. This ability to ‘see ourselves’ and recognize our pros and cons to self-creation and be determined to acknowledge them is the essence of truly loving ourselves, caring for ourselves and so another – so that we can acknowledge it, face it, understand it and commit ourselves to work on it. This is the essence of this process and the essence of living in self-agreement within a relationship.

Based on these principles, whenever we see that reality is not ‘adding up’ to the self-agreements established at the beginning of a relationship, where the relationship itself can become a comfort zone for both individuals to not genuinely change and step out of the recurring patterns of self-diminishment in our minds and lives, then it is necessary to end such relationship in order to honor our lives, our individual processes and potentials, to be of more ‘good than harm’ in having to face ourselves individually rather than together which is an outcome that varies from context to context and all based on each one’s decision – and I’m here sharing it to have the courage to do so whenever it is needed and consequences are knocking at the door.

What is the benefit? What does one ‘gain’ or ‘gifts’ oneself from holding oneself accountable and so another in that agreement or ‘redefined relationship’? The gift of responsibility, of acknowledging our creation, of owning our creation, of developing integrity, self-respect, honoring each other’s lives even if that means having to separate to precisely understand the consequences we create for oneself and another if we don’t stand by our self-commitment to change.

This becomes a living statement, making it clear to one another that what’s best for all is to continue working on such self-agreement as self-support yet no longer within a relationship.

This is where one has to step beyond the self-interest of ‘keeping a relationship’ where compromise exists and where we might ‘hold it all up’ based on fears of letting go or settling to a point of ‘least effort’ in oneself in order to truly stand in that absolute self-agreement within oneself and so in relationship to others.

This is how then within Self-Accountability – which implies being able to take responsibility for one’s life, in self-honesty from beginning to end of our lives – one has to make decisions, to take charge of one’s ‘destiny’ and not leave it to the hands of hope or fate or even ‘potential change’, but directly act and do what’s needed to truly own our creation, to understand the consequences we are creating for ourselves and others in our lifetime and be able to stand in a position where it’s only ourselves, individually, that can decide if we fall or if we stand up – but not any longer ‘trapping’ oneself and others into consequential outcomes, such as it happens in any relationship or joint project, work situation or anything else where instead, each individual can assess their situation and therefore understand when it is best to ‘go back to the drawing board’ in order to be most effective in working, living, sharing oneself with another and standing in that self-commitment to be the best version of ourselves and so to each other in this lifetime.  

Here it is also where one’s personal self-interest is overridden to living principles, where a relationship or partnership, friendship, any ‘joint effort’ with others that is not resulting in a best for all outcome can be assessed and either worked on individually or cease to exist as such if the proof in physical reality is showing that it is not leading to a visible and tangible point of change in who we are in thought, word and deed.

Ultimately how I see it is that each one of us will have to walk through ‘tests’ of who we are in our lives: are we life or are we in the mind? Do we decide to settle in for a point of compromise and self-limitation and eventual destructive consequences or do we decide to stand in self-honesty even if it means having to ‘give up’ something that we find very comfortable and supportive in ‘some’ aspects  of our lives? That’s what I defined as the eye of the needle in my case, that one ‘point’ that we have defined as our weakness, our ‘tough points’ to walk through where we face a seemingly difficult choice: our mind or life, our personal interest or what is best for all?

What I’ve found is that even if it means having to cause some perceived ‘undesirable outcomes’ for my self-interest, what prevails in me and what I decide to always stand for is life, and life takes no ‘middle ways,’ because I know for myself how ‘full-fledged’ one has to be in terms of taking life seriously and living as such in thought, word and deed. Not about knowledge and information here or ‘pledging alliance to life’ as an ideological orientation – that’s what the world is filled with and shows no change at all. Nope.

This is about demonstrating with our whole being where we decide to stand in our lives, who we decide to be in every moment of our lives and yes, I know it sounds very challenging or even absolutist, but it is only common sensical to set the bar so ‘high’ for oneself considering how long we’ve been living in personal recycling processes of doing the least effort, repeating the same mistakes, leading ourselves to a path of self-destruction, of irresponsibility, dishonor and plain inconsideration towards our very own life.

I have expressed many times in my life how I want to change the world, how I cannot accept the ways in which we’ve existed in this world because it’s quite evident where we’ve gotten ourselves to in such repetitive patterns, habits and ‘ways’ of our human nature. Therefore life itself embedded in ourselves and our very creations leads us to find ‘who we truly are’ in our choices, in our decisions, in our stance – and I am quite committed to continue being accountable to myself because at the end of the day, it’s not about ‘fulfilling my mind’s desires’, it’s about the person I can live with for the rest of my life, the person that I can fully stand with every single breath of the way and that’s precisely the one person I can only ever truly change and take responsibility for: myself.

This is the marvel as well of this process where even if we would like to assist others, to give an ‘opportunity’ of self-change for another, to provide the necessary tools and environment to ‘give themselves a chance,’ it can only ever be supportive if the person decides to do all of this entirely for themselves as well and take it seriously all the way. Otherwise it won’t stand and one will be left as the ‘person that tried to save another that wasn’t willing to do it for themselves.’ I’ve definitely have had enough of this pattern so: till here no further.

Some ‘tough love’ is necessary for me to integrate in my ways of supporting others, not only in relationships as ‘partnerships’ or ‘agreements’ as defined within this process, but with every person that I am in contact with through familial bonds, friendships and relationships of self-support within this process as well. That’s the best I can do to honor myself, what I’ve figured out I am able to do and stand as for and as myself which means: if I can, others can do it too.

Thanks for reading.

Lastly a great quote from an audio I’ll cite here:

 

“…so many of us face in so many different dimensions of (being) afraid of speaking up, afraid of saying what we see, afraid of really being direct and sometimes knowing you have to be hard and intense and show some tough love but not be afraid to lose the person. Because I think, actually you know what happens if you don’t do that? You do actually lose the person, and you lose yourself because you’re losing them to the mind and you’re losing a part of yourself because you’re not being honest.” Sunette,  Compromising for Love (Part 2) – Relationship Success Support

 

 

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519. From Fear of Speaking up to Doing So

Or how to realize that those things that we fear the most and prevent doing in our lives hold a key to our self-honesty and self-creation

One of the things that I feared doing was speaking up to people that I had been in a relationship with and I feared doing it because of fearing losing the person – and guess what would happen? I would end up ‘losing the person’ as in ‘losing the relationship’ because of not directing myself to be honest with the person and expose, explain what I would see was going on within them, within myself and so within the relationship – I kept quiet instead and that became a great source of regret for me in the past, because over the years I realized how harmful it was to be aware of what others were doing to themselves – and within it, what I was also accepting and allowing within myself – and not stand up for what makes sense to address in order to change, to become people with integrity and self-respect.

Therefore one of the things that I committed myself to do in ‘the next’ partnership was to speak up, and put aside the fears of doing so and for once and for all step out of that particular fear. Well, I have to say that I did live up to this and didn’t do it that well at first – at times I would still speak up with emotions, at times I would speak up plainly about things I was assuming and not cross-referencing with reality facts, sometimes I was also too lenient to finally speak up, however I eventually learned to first stabilize my reactions, work with them in self-responsibility so that then I could remove all form of blame towards another and simply speak up what I was aware of and cross-reference it, open it up to see if what I was seeing was in fact so or not.

With practice and fine tuning within myself, I did manage to speak up in a relative stable yet direct manner, with a certainty within myself that even if that very moment of speaking up challenged the whole relationship, I still decided to do it, because I reminded myself of how I had compromised myself before in similar situations. I knew that I had to speak up now or remain living in a point of self-compromise and eventual regret. I chose self-honesty and yes, it’s not nice, not pretty, not satisfying for my mind and self-interest – but is exactly what I had to do when deciding to stand as the life that I am learning to respect in myself and others.

What I’m learning and corroborating is that we have to actually challenge those fears and walk through what we would fear saying or doing because of fearing unleashing a ‘worst case scenario’ or what at times one would like to perceive as a ‘nightmare’– but I knew that if I compromised again in not speaking up ‘this time around’ and actually contribute to create a point of change that can assist myself and another to realize ‘what we are doing to ourselves’, I would have thrown to the trash all of these years of preparing and telling myself that ‘I should have spoken up’ in the past, and that ‘I would speak up next time’. This time around, I have been able to ‘pull up m pants’ as they say – even if I wear none, lol – and stand on my self-honesty.

This is something that I can remind myself of every day and be clear within me of where I stand, what I accept and allow in my life and also, allowing myself to let go of my self-interest – manifested as ‘fears’ – and instead contribute to do what is best for us all when facing consequences for our actions, which I consider is the only possible genuine way to learn more about the ways we have compromised our lives and that of others.

This is what’s commonly known as ‘tough love’ and I have definitely been too lenient at times, too ‘supportive’ to a point where it’s not really assisting the other person to walk on their own, too protective at times when trying to prevent someone from walking over their own creation, too ‘considerate’ when trying to ‘save’ another from themselves and this I’ve proven to not be the best way to approach the notion of ‘support’ – instead, with time I realized that even if we have to walk through our ‘biggest fears’,  deciding to live my self-honesty is something I can live with, regardless of the tantrums I might attempt to throw in my mind.  By doing what’s common sensical to do = what’s best for all involved, I can stand at the ‘end of time’ and see that it was what was needed for a situation to actually improve, for ourselves to actually wake up from our mind-slumber and learn and understand what it means to be creators of our lives in their totality.  

Sometimes it can be sad when we have to walk through our own created consequences and some might be harsh ones that ultimately are the only ways I’ve seen can assist us to dismantle our dishonesties, our lies, our points of compromise, our points of dishonesty – while also knowing that with sufficient self-work assist oneself to stand up from it all and develop some real integrity and self-support, learn from it and stand up strengthened.  This is the one point that I’ll continue to work on because there is still a sense of ‘sadness’ that comes with having to face consequences, after seeing the potentials for the best – but again I repeat to myself: potential is everywhere, in each one of us, and yes we can foresee and project magnificent outcomes for each one of us ‘as a potential,’ but working to create it individually, for ourselves – not for another, not for ‘something’ separate from ourselves – is the actual challenge and the real test of where we stand in our lives, as individuals, as self-creators.

In the end it’s also about realizing that sometimes consequences are our best teacher and walking through them with integrity, self-responsibility and humbleness is the best way to then give the next steps in our lives, by learning from our mistakes, our choices, our decisions and prevent future similar situations, and that’s something we can only do for ourselves individually and keep walking the journey to life, waking up with and going to bed every day with the only person that we have the power to genuinely change in all aspects we see is needed: ourselves.

This means that speaking up ‘towards another’ is not the real point here, but this is in fact an outflow of being able to stand up within myself first and speaking up to my own mind and strengthen my own self-honesty and I consider this is the exact path to honoring our lives, even if it seems ‘fearful’ to our minds: we have the ability to transcend and work through those fears to then at some point in time be able to look back and thank ourselves for standing in self-integrity and self-honesty.

Thanks for reading

 

Suggested Interviews for further support:


  1. Compromising for Love (Part 1) – Relationship Success Support


  2. Compromising for Love (Part 2) – Relationship Success Support

 

watch your mouth

 

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510. From Split to Integrity

 

Today I watched the movie ‘Split and only now I realize how it’s been somewhat common for me to use the word Split for situations where I have compromised myself and where I haven’t stood completely ‘whole’ in certain situations or with people in my life, facing the eventual consequences that this compromise or dishonesty creates, which implies that if I am not clear in the starting point of creation of something or I am aware I am not being honest with myself  in it, the outcome or result of it will force me to face my creation and my starting point for what it was.

A common example is when one establishes a relationship based on fearing to be alone and in doing so, because the fear is that of ‘being alone’ – and if this starting point is not corrected throughout the whole relationship – the outcome and result is that most likely such relationship will end and one will face one’s fear of ‘ending up alone’, which can be initially perceived as a ‘negative’ outcome, but it is in fact in this process of self-honesty where those ‘darkest moments’ of facing our fears and the result of our creations that we also learn from our mistakes and learn to strengthen ourselves and realize how we created such fear and made It real in our minds by evading it, thus evading to face the reality of ourselves which is the truth that will invariably – sooner or later – comes out to the surface for us to see it face to face.

 This is part of ‘owning my creation’ and realizing that as much as I would have liked things to be different in certain aspects of my life, I also at the same time can recognize the reasoning behind my decisions, the context of them and also being able to recognize how I invested myself, my time, my dedication to points of creation that I ‘hoped’ and yes created an ‘expectation’ could turn out differently, but they didn’t stand the test of time and a common emotional outcome of witnessing this is saying ‘I wish things could have been different’ but, as much as we could have seen a potential in something or someone, we cannot control the outcome when there are others involved in that same point of creation, we only have our self-responsibility. We can only be certain about who we are within it all from beginning to end – the rest and what pertains to others’ participation in the point of creation, we cannot control at all. We can assist, we can suggest ways but ultimately if the other person doesn’t stand through it in an equal stance of self-responsibility, that’s where consequence will speak for itself if one’s starting point wasn’t clear and wasn’t changed through and while in the creative process.

Here it’s also not to imply that one cannot have a ‘flawed’ starting point and not change it or align it as one goes participating in that process or creation, what matters is precisely having the intent and determination to change in the process and do what’s in our hands to apply ourselves on – yet if one doesn’t do this, one ends up compromising in one way or another not only oneself but others as well and that’s when a joint process of creation has to come to an end.

In this movie Split I found the relationship of the psychiatrist with the main character with dissociative identity disorder a main point for personal reflection, where in her attempt to help and consider this disorder as something that makes people superior, special and treating the patient in a very ‘positive-manner’ leads her to overlook the magnitude of the problem she’s dealing with. Her role represents an unconventional attempt to stand up for people with Kevin’s (main character) condition. And without spoiling anything here, let’s simply say that there are consequences for doing that, and I could relate to this as well in my personal experience.

The ‘split’ point I’m trying to get to here is where I am aware of the potential consequences that something or someone can create in their own lives and so in the lives of others, I am aware of something that is mostly regarded as ‘abnormal’ or ‘dangerous’ or ‘psychopathic’ behavior in people yet, I’ve tried to focus too much on the good, the potential, the best aspects of them, while at the same time condoning behaviors, thoughts and actions in others and within myself consequently that should not be regarded as ‘human nature’ or ‘normal emotions’ in our psyche, because in taking these things very lightly, consequences can ensue in various degrees that we can only regret when it’s too late.

I’ve learned over these years to learn about and understand our minds, the intertwining of it with the physical body, the level of multidimensionality that a particular personality trait can have and at the same time, the level of absolute discipline and dedication that correcting any patterns, habits or traits requires by an individual. Yet at the same time, the way that I’ve approached certain conditions in people is through gullibility, where I have underestimated the potential detrimental consequences that can be acted out by each one of us where we can allow ourselves to – in one split second  – act out on the worst of ourselves and not even be able to control these impulses and only realize ‘what has been done’ after one has acted out on those thoughts, emotions or feelings that lead us to these consequences, irreversible consequences that many of us have faced when saying or doing something that we end up regretting or feeling terribly bad about afterward, yet this doesn’t have to be the way to ‘live’ in this world, because we can learn to prevent it, to stop ourselves before ‘pulling the trigger’ and causing such consequential outflows – not nice, not pretty, yet sometimes this is the only way we can get to understand what we are doing o ourselves and so others, to see it face to face and walk through the consequences of it all.

The point here for me is being honest with myself and realize the reality of what a person having a particular condition, habits or tendencies entail in terms of long term relationships in whichever form they might be. Of course, one could say we are all having mental problems and I agree to a certain extent, it’s a default state in which we have allowed ourselves to exist. However there is also a process of acceptance and allowance in this – whether it is genetics or self-created in this lifetime – all consequences are entirely ours, whether they were created by us directly or past generations = still ourselves. Even though this is our current raw reality, we still have the ability to make a decision to support ourselves to cultivate the better aspect of ourselves and stop feeding what we know is consequential, detrimental, damaging or harmful for oneself and others.

In my case I have to also be more considerate of the level of consequences we can be facing in our current process of mind, being and body integration, to not deliberately want to see all human beings through the eyes of benevolence or potential only, because for that matter we all have potential. I have to remind myself that as much as I can see such potential, I also have to consider how far a point of consequence has already ‘taken over’ a person’s mind and life, and accept the fact that no matter how much I’d like to assist another to focus on that better aspect of themselves, the decision is entirely up to them and if this is not done, I also have to make sure that I do not ‘split’ myself in compromising my self-honesty and integrity.

I can instead only remind myself and others to realize the extent of damage, harm, abuse that can be created and inflicted in thought, word and deed. Here I am particularly learning the relevance of assisting others through what can be defined as ‘tough love’ as well, which is to let the others see through physical reality consequences what they have been accepting and allowing in their own minds – and this also goes for myself at the same time of course, where I have to realize there’s always a needed stop for us to wake up and so use those ‘shocking’ situations or consequences as crucial moments to make a clear decision in our lives: do we continue building and feeding the worst of us, the one that creates actual harm, abuse and self-disrespect to our living potential –  or do we use such shocking situation, such consequential outflow as a lesson to learn from and never repeat it again.

And yes, it is unfortunate, it can be a ‘sad’ thing to realize that one can see the best of oneself and others yet, we sabotage our potential by sticking to what feeds our egos, what feeds our multiple personalities that are only there to continue existing as a mind that thrives in and of friction and conflict, not in common sense. And I also have to remind myself that there are such points of ‘no return’ in some cases, and it’s part of what I have to make peace here with, that no matter how much I would want to stick to such potential  – what will always be our measuring point is physical reality where actions or inactions speak louder than words or potential outcomes, which is what I can learn as well for myself both in my personal life and as a person that at the same time assists many more to develop themselves to their utmost potential.

This is something that is a key subject to me and I’m glad I went to watch this movie because it demon-strates very well to what extent we can take ourselves in living out personalities and allow our mind to fully take over, to the point where the real being, the real potential is too ‘far out’ to reach out into the surface and how potentially dangerous this can be – of course it’s a movie, it is still fiction and is exaggerated in certain aspects – but still, if we take the example presented there and consider it in relation to our day to day experiences both within ourselves and with who we interact, we will more and more see the importance of ‘mental health’ as a primary point of importance in our human development, I have no doubt about it.

So to me, my ‘split’ to correct is compromising too much at times in wanting to be too much of a ‘good doer’ or ‘tolerant’ of certain things that may cause more consequence for myself and others –  removing my split personalities where I am determining my thoughts, words and deeds on expectations, on fears, on potentials, on what I ‘believe’ could be the outcome of something, instead of looking directly at physical reality and so seeing the reality that is being created by me and others.

It is also not impossible to find human beings that can transcend these conditions at a mind level, requires a living decision, a constant one, for a lifetime to nurture and give life to create and build the better of ourselves instead of the worst of ourselves. There’s always self-forgiveness to give ourselves a second chance, but there is also a point of enough is enough and when life is compromised for far too long, intervention is needed, for the best of all.

The outcome of having integrity, self-honesty and self-responsibility is precisely that, a creation where no matter what the outcome is, we can stand through it and own it, learn from it, grow with it – while at the same time remaining observant of the outcomes in physical reality so as to not create false or unreal expectations. This is how we can live integrity and self-support which creates sanity and preventing most of the sickness and problems we have already plagued our lives with –  and doing this by myself, makes me the person I can live with for the rest of my life.

The best way to prevent mental problems is through learning to work with our thoughts, emotions, feelings, fears, habits, relationships and all of this can be walked in self-support within the Desteni I Process, the proof is here as myself, don’t hesitate to ask or learn more about it, because it’s a life changing process, if one works on it as intended of course.

Thanks for reading and check out the movie, I recommend it

 

 

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