Tag Archives: truth

478. Want Transparency and Integrity? Let’s BE It

Or how to start becoming the solution to all lies and deception within our very own minds

There was a great opening by Cerise and Joe to consider how it would be for every person in our lives to know about what we have thought, imagined, fantasized in absolute detail doing or saying to them throughout our entire life and then asking ourselves if knowing all of this would change the way they see us, and if we would be able to face them without shame or guilt.

The ‘scary’ thought of this implies right off the bat: we got a ton to work on in relation to developing self-honesty which means acknowledging our very own thoughts, every fantasy or imagination, every experience created by ourselves as a form of self-interest where we only consider ourselves but never really give too much of a thought about that person that we are ‘thinking, gossiping, judging, fantasizing’ about in any way – positive or negative, same thing – because for the most part we’ve believed that these things do not affect others, but it’s become quite clear that we cage each other in our own ideas, beliefs, perceptions about others which we synthesize as a form of judgment, backchat, reaction towards another that we then turn into behaviors, ways of ‘treating’ a person which means, we make of those opinions a ‘very real’ representation of the other person in our minds, which then defines how we treat them/see them/acknowledge them, where we justify whatever we are doing onto ‘them’ because it seems righteous, because we believe ‘that’s who They are’ – but, considering that every single person would be able to see and get to know the exact detail of everything I have ever thought about them in my mind, it would surely be a daunting consideration, but to be honest I’ve been hearing the words ‘all will be known’ for close to 9 years now and this has definitely been a factor to curb my ‘self-entertainment’ in a continuous  way related to how and what I think about others.

However this does not mean it is entirely done and sorted out in me, not at all. I’ve faced many forms of challenges in relation to what I think, perceive, judge or react to in others, and the truth is that I many times don’t immediately stand on my ground of self-responsibility to rather see what are these thoughts, judgments, fantasies or experiences revealing about myself. I actually had been considering this for the past couple of days and here to answer the question, I do consider that people would definitely react upon seeing whatever I have thought or perceived about them, because we are not really taught to deal with such perceptions/imaginations about others in our minds as the expression of those that think or fantasize about it and that in no way does it really define ‘who we are’ – meaning, in any case, anything I have thought, gossiped, idealized, imagined, judged, reacted about towards ‘others’ is in fact defining myself and only myself as aspects or parts of myself that I have to work on, but that we as human beings conveniently usually deflect to ‘others’ in an attempt to dodge self-responsibility and self-reflection, which usually stems from wanting to see ourselves under a the light of ‘being a good person.’

Here then, I have pondered many times throughout the years about a potential situation in this world where we could suddenly have all the ‘veils of the mind’ lifted from ourselves in one go and all the chaos that would possibly ensue if we were to suddenly see every single detail of anything that every person we know – or don’t even know – but get to know of have had such imaginations, fantasies, judgments, opinions about ourselves, and how that could ensue like a real ‘world war’ if we don’t get to settle ourselves to understand how everything that we ‘think’ – imagine, perceive, judge, fantasize, react to – about another is in fact our own expression, judgments, ideas, perceptions and that in no way does it really define ‘another’ but ourselves.

That realization is usually an ‘ouch’ experience to most where we’d like to think that we ‘have a right’ to think of another in our heads ‘whatever we want’ with some sort of power to judge, criticize, fantasize about in whichever way – this is certainly a timely situation to consider that we don’t, and that no matter what we do, we’ll face each and every single person in our lives that we have ever had those thoughts about and walk every one of those relationships – no matter how menial – into a point of correction. That’s what our Life Reviews will be about.

So, I’ll share here how through walking this process from consciousness to self-awareness, I have already had my own taste of shame, regret, embarrassment and a personal experience of wanting to ‘dig a hole’ for my own head upon reviewing some of the most shameful things I’ve done, thought or fantasized about in my  mind about others. I am sure I haven’t walked through them all, but it is so that in those moments I have also projected possible scenarios where if I would face those people again, I would ask forgiveness and explain ‘where I was’ at the time of my life where I was creating those ideas, reactions, perceptions ‘about them’ – and in several occasions how I acted the way I did toward them, how my decisions were influenced by all of this mental chatter – and how I eventually found out all of it was in fact about myself only; I would share how I have learned to assist myself to correct these judgments, ideas, thoughts or participations so that we can stop recreating this ‘invisible world’ of lies and deception that we allow to exist in our minds towards another, but we don’t dare to actually confront and lay out before another to be honest about one’s own experience and walk a process of self-honesty to realize oneself as the origin and creator of those reactions that we are simply projecting or imposing upon others as ‘who we believe they are’ – when they are then, in fact, not.

Would they decide to change the way they see me upon knowing all of this? Considering how most of us operate in our minds, I’m sure it would create a lot of rifts in a relationship, because we haven’t learned to not take things personally, but we always are quick to believe that ‘that which another said about me defines me’ and forget all about questioning the creator of such judgment in the first place. So it would be quite expected and normal to walk through a phase of having all of those people suddenly see me with ‘bad eyes’ and then it would be my responsibility to acknowledge where and how have I worked on taking responsibility for those things said or fantasized about another and accordingly go working on my own responsibility about them through self-forgiveness and so walking a process of self-correction.

Would I be able to face them without shame or guilt? As I explained above, most likely not, even if I am not ‘technically’ seeing the people I have been reviewing memories or situations of my past – including ‘recent present’ – in my mind in order to process it, take responsibility for it in my head, I have felt such shame, regret, embarrassment and guilt many times before. But at the same time, I’ve learned how it can only be a temporary experience really, and it’s up to me to make of this shame more of a transitory learning experience rather than a self-bashing and self-judgment process that then becomes another layer of judgment for me to process. I’ve created a reminder to myself to not fall prey of ‘double-judgment’ where one judges oneself for the judgments, beliefs, perceptions one has created about another… it’s definitely easier to acknowledge the point, and yes it sometimes it may be impossible to not go through shame, guilt, regret, but here I can stand as my own surety so that it doesn’t become a form of emotional manipulation for me to not continue seeing my responsibility in it all, but step out of that belief that I become ‘less’ in acknowledging my faults, my own judgments – and so see how it is actually only a point of self-respect and integrity that I decide to build and create as myself when deciding to acknowledge my own creation of those parts of myself that I have the power – as in being capable and able – to change them for and by myself.

A very important reminder that has assisted me quite a bit lately is the realization that what defines a person is not ‘all that they have been’ in their past, but more like how we decide to stand up from ‘the past’ that we’ve been and become. It’s only us that hold ourselves/each other as prisoners of our own past perceptions, judgments and beliefs, leading us nowhere really other than recreating the same illusions of separation that are able to be self-forgiven, taken responsibility with the purpose to change the way that we stand in our minds, the way that we ‘use’ our minds and so in turn, changing how we interact towards others.

A practical reminder for me is precisely to consider how every single thought, word and deed Is part of who I am, my creation, therefore I have to be accountable for it all, because how I face and confront those challenges – such as suddenly people finding out all about how I ‘thought’ of them – is what defines me, and so I have to remind myself that no matter how ‘awful’ some of these points might be, what defines me is who I decide to be from now on that I acknowledge that aspect/part of myself that requires a direction, that requires my responsibility to change because of seeing, real time, that it is not at all supportive to remain in my own denial of these parts of myself if I am a person that is craving or even demanding transparency in this world.

If I am ‘demanding’ transparency and integrity, the ‘truth’ out there, we have to start by creating these words, living these words within ourselves. I bet that none of us that have desired this to exist in our ‘world systems’ have considered to what extent the solution resides in the very secret corridors of our minds and all those accumulated experiences toward people around us, people that we see on our ‘screens’, people that we interact with on a regular basis either in a very personal or impersonal manner… I personally would like to see the day where we could eventually see everything of each other, because then it would be so in our face to recognize that no one can claim innocence in not having ever gossiped, fantasized or judged another; we all have done it in various degrees and the way to start getting a taste of what it would mean to live in a transparent world with integrity is by reviewing all of those judgments that we have created or fantasized about in relation to others, take responsibility for it in recognizing it as or own creation, as our own acceptance and allowance that doesn’t define ‘that other person’ or situation, but ourselves entirely.

And so the only ‘salvation’ that exists here is truly self-forgiveness, no doubt about it. How else could we give ourselves a second chance to face these very grim, dark or despicable aspects of ourselves if we didn’t give ourselves the ability to stand up from it, learn from our mistakes and ensure that we stand ‘hands clean’ from now on in order to not recreate/repeat those same patterns toward other people, but instead develop the practice of ‘placing a guard in front of our mouths and minds’ as in being more aware of what we think, say, do, fantasize or react towards another about, and make sure that we know we are defined by what we believe is ‘defining another’ that we are projecting these thoughts upon.

It is all about self-reflection and in that, we will then be able to not only actively change the way that we interact, live and create our societies, but also at the same time stop the ‘sins of the fathers’ in relation to this deception, hypocrisy, judgments, fears in relation to others, so that we can start becoming self-accountable beings that don’t require a ‘thought police’ to be punished for some ‘bad thoughts’ about others that we turn into heinous acts or crimes – we can then know exactly what we nurture or feed within ourselves, we can exactly decide who we are in every moment in relation to another and ensure that we can stand ‘at the end of time’ clear and self-corrected in relation  to those thoughts, those judgments or experiences towards ‘others’ that, ultimately, are in fact also ourselves anyways – equal and one.

This is actually a very cool subject to bring to our awareness because it is through ‘dropping the veil’ of seeing another as a ‘separate me’ that we can start realizing how much of what we believe is ‘done onto another’ is always done to oneself – abuse, is always Self-abuse. Therefore, doing this exercise, practically, can assist us in becoming more comfortable and closer to the actual truth of ourselves, which is by default not something nice, pretty and pure – we all have our aspects and parts of ourselves to change and correct. Here then, we must not see guilt, same, regret or embarrassment as the solution, nor as a ‘way out’ of actually sorting out these points in us – these reactions are but distractors if they remain a bit too long as our experience – we have to walk through our creation and take responsibility, it’s the least we can do after we’ve ‘fired those bullets’ existing as harmful thoughts and experiences ‘shot’ at others.

Once the trigger is pulled, there’s no going back. But fortunately, with what goes on in our minds, we can at least correct it, ensure we don’t act upon it or recreate it any longer and more so, ensure we don’t take such thoughts or experiences about another into an actual bullet that maims another’s life. We can remind ourselves of this every time that we believe it’s ‘easy’ to imagine stuff, to think stuff and believe it all goes ‘away with the wind’ because ‘it’s only thoughts’ but nope, it’s all here, recorded in the very physical day to day life that we walk through in this world.

So, let’s define ourselves by having the guts to acknowledge and recognize our creation, by deciding to walk through all of these judgments towards ‘others’ and claim them back as our own creation that ‘defines us’ until we decide to also change those reactions about ourselves into something that is genuinely supportive for our lives, that can stand as a building block of the self that we are willing to stand by and with for the rest of our existence.

If we want a world that is no longer ‘full of lies,’ we have to stop lying and deceiving ourselves with an image or belief of ‘being a good person’ – none of us have really been so if we have ever allowed but one single thought about another in a compromising or harmful situation. Food for self-reflection, because it’s more honorable to take a step forward and say ‘I’ve done that, that’s me’ than giving a step back and running away with an idea of ‘I’d never dare to do something like that!’ – that’s a choice right there into self-honesty or self-dishonesty, all up to us – but let’s be aware that each decision we make defines our present, who we are and by all means defines the nature of the future that we are co-creating for ourselves and generations to come.

I’d say, it’s time to stand up with courage and claim ownership of our own lies, so that we can then take responsibility and gift those parts back to ourselves as words that we want to live within and toward others in our lives.

Thanks for reading

 

Suggested interview:

If you tolerate this then your children will be next

 

Walk with us in our path to create a transparent world:

 

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383. To Forget to Self-Forgive

First Cousin Once Removed Preview (HBO Documentary Films) (2012) by Alan Berliner

Remember to Forget’ were the words chosen by a poet with Alzheimer as his last statement to the potential million viewers of the documentary ‘First cousin once removed’ by Alan Berliner, which depicts his life in his last months of living with this mental condition, and it is interesting that the words ‘For-Get’ and ‘For-Give’ can be a bit similar, but there’s a world of difference between both, where the act of merely ‘wanting to forget’ can lead us to experience something like Alzheimer, in an attempt to let go of the memories, the identity, the past, the load of experiences with which we created and inflicted the most trauma/harm/abuse within ourselves, and so wanting to forget as a way to ‘cope with the past,’ and that’s how such forced ‘eraser’ move in the mind can lead to this memory-loss problem.

 

I enjoyed this documentary, it’s very well made and I recommend it to see first hand what Alzheimer is like, and the reasons that usually lead to it, along with the genetic disposition that can exist – which as we now understand how the memories of those that have gone before us are integrated within/as ourselves as the mind in the womb, as the information we have ‘pre-loaded’ within us as the ‘sins of the fathers’ – then it makes sense that Alzheimer can ‘run in the family’ as a trait developed to want to forget about one’s deeds, one’s traumatic past, one’s wrong-doings and essentially take the forced road to a ‘way out’ of it all, a way to not face one’s inner demons.

 

The documentary could’ve had a subtitle – in the words of the film’s director – a Poets’ Alzheimer, since the documentary is about the ‘first cousin once removed’ from the director of this film who happened to be a poet, a writer, a translator, a man of ‘great achievements’ only to get to the last days of his life forgetting about it all, and it for sure brings us back to this point of our Journey To Life and the route to Nothingness. Edwin Honig – the protagonist of this documentary – gets to such ‘nothingness’ though not in a self-aware and self-directive manner to it and this is what I’d like to discuss here because it doesn’t make sense to get to this point of ‘Nothingness’ as in remembering – apparently – nothing through simply deciding to block the memory, to forget.

 

The things that Edwin could vividly recall – at times, when it seemed he wasn’t unconsciously deliberately ‘wanting to forget’ – were traumatic moments in his life: being blamed for his brother’s death when he was a child, having been to the army and shooting others, and maybe some family member he was fond of, but that was it. He is shown recordings with traces of the achievements throughout his life explained by himself at an earlier stage in his life, all his books, his poems, his translations of some ‘great writers,’ and so forth, and it was quite amusing to see how he would watch these recordings of himself explaining all his studies, his achievements and saying something in the lines of ‘He’s trying too hard to be someone’ and so yes, this is most of the things we put all our time and effort to, to build up the idea of ‘who we are’ as our mind, our ego – not realizing that life is not memories and how when one has no more memories to ‘hold on to’ then all of these lifetime achievements are reduced to nothing but pretentious additions we identify ourselves as, which can be later on absolutely forgotten and ultimately end up at death. Edwin had kept journals on a daily basis for over 50 years, so he also tried too hard to remember, only to end up forgetting it all. It seems like an ‘overload’ of too many memories, too many things he wanted to keep but eventually forget that he ended up ‘forgetting it all.’

 

I liked the fact that at some point, due to being asked many questions by the documentary maker (his cousin) he would just ask him to be forgotten, to not exist for some days, weeks, months and so in a way it could be him realizing that he was just telling his-story, the tale we all become as a bunch of memories we then believe is ‘all we are’ which is absolutely limited. We have reduced ourselves to become a curriculum, a data base with memories, experiences, feelings, the ideas we believe others have about ourselves, the feelings and constructs we impose onto reality, our entire ego that we accumulate throughout time, and how when we eventually ‘want to forget’ due to the emotional load that it creates within us, maybe that’s when Alzheimer emerges as an absolute ‘shutdown’ of these memories, which I interpret as a decision to Not Forgive, but Only Forget.

 

Dullness

 

Alzheimer seems to be the result of Forgetting to Forgive, but not only ‘Forgive’ in itself, but to Self-Forgive. It’s interesting that Edwin hadn’t been such a good father after all and how his ‘children’ – now grown up males – hold a grudge against him due to what he would do to them, which they interpreted as abusive, as him being an a*hole. And so, Edwin could not remember at all that he had children/sons, and even when the time comes for one of them to visit him, he shows exhaustion, maybe because memories would come back and so the load of remorse, guilt, the entire emotional experience created throughout time could come back, and so he’s left alone. Alzheimer seems to be a way to evade reality, to evade looking at one’s demons and learning how to self-forgive ourselves for it all, a way to escape from facing self-responsibility and as such wanting to ‘put memories down’ not realizing that the level and extent to which we are tied to as our memories and our mind cannot be ‘shut down’ or these ‘side effects’ emerge.

 

This is also another way to see how without walking this process of Self-Forgiveness to learn how to recognize our thoughts, words and deeds that could have caused ourselves inner-conflicts and struggles that we eventually lashed out onto others, affecting them and learn how to self-forgive ourselves for it all, bit by bit, word by word, and we only try and ‘forget it all’ causes an illness, because one is attempting to ‘get rid’ of the memories instead of actually understanding how we created such problems, how we participated in them, why, why did we allow it to become an emotional burden, who did we affect with our deeds too, what do we feel incapable of forgiving ourselves for that we instead choose to simply evade and ‘forget’?

 

And if we were able to remember who we have been from the beginning of our existence, we would have all gone through the same ‘deletion’ process as Alzheimer to go back to ‘ignorance is bliss’ mode, which is in fact what we do whenever we attempt to forget our past, our history and recreate the same abuse and harm because we don’t want to remember and take responsibility for our lives, our world as our creation and change the patterns for once and for all.

 

It’s interesting that one documentary that shows the actual nature of the memories left in a person with Alzheimer can shed more light than any scientific study attempting to understand the origin of it, which once again is also confirming what has been explained at Desteni in relation to Alzheimer Syndrome which I suggest to anyone to investigate and get rid of these ‘enigmas’ that still exist in humanity, while it’s already been 7 years of having the opportunity to learn about the totality of who we are as human beings, as preprogrammed mind consciousness systems that can create a short-circuit process in order to not have to confront one’s own inner demons all the time, creating things like Alzheimer or the usual anxiety, fears, phobias and general stress that we impose onto our physical body every time we are ‘living’-through-the-mind.

 

An aspect I enjoyed is seeing how Edwin only expressed appreciation for the expression of a child – the director’s son – because he was a child, expressing himself with music, in the moment, not questioning him about ‘who he was’ or who he could remember, but just being in the moment, which is also another point to consider about this ‘nothingness’ that we can all exist as, as a self-created result of learning how to self-forgive, to correct, to let go within self-responsibility and full awareness of choosing to be living in the moment – which is different from this form of Alzheimer’s ‘living in the moment’ as an accidental result of wanting to evade one’s memory, which is why in this case someone that doesn’t represent a ‘threat’ to one’s self-definition can become someone we enjoy too.

 

 

This documentary should also support with the realization that who we are and who we define ourselves to be is nothing else but a collection of memories and experiences that we build up as ‘who we are’ and we indeed put so much ‘effort’ onto it, without realizing that it is only the ‘who we are in the mind’ that we are valuing and accumulating as knowledge and information, while we forget about the words that we can live and become as an essence of ourselves – not the titles, not the money, not the recognition, not the studies, not the professions or definitions that others can give onto us – but the words we decide to live in full self-awareness. Just as the point we hear a lot about in Desteni on ‘stopping the mind,’ it doesn’t mean: forget about who you were and be ‘living in the here now moment’ absolutely oblivious of everything, as if one could simply ‘turn the page’ and have a blank one without any consequence. So if anything, this film depicts the consequences of not being able to cope with our mind, our memories, an entire life of wanting to ‘cherish all memories’ and the outcome when you realize the fiction you’ve become as a character and eventually just want to throw the character out of the window and remain as the flesh and bones we are… that’s what creates the consequence as a forced de-egofication process.

I am able to relate to the idea of wanting to cherish every moment as the ‘old me’ that was on my way to do that all the time, and having that mentality of wanting to be a writer someday that could use those memories to create more fictional characters through which I could live through as well, and I’m glad I stopped myself, which to myself as my ego it was the same as some form of egocide, because stopping ‘cherishing memories’ – even with the compulsion I had to be taking pictures all the time – I was on my way to fill memory cards and entire notebooks of my own personalities with no direction – which is also the type of writing I was doing before this process, using art as just another way to convolute the perception of who we are as human beings: point-less, self-referenced, self-interested beings seeking this something to ‘fill in the void’ with and ending up in some kind of nonsense with a life wasted in this perpetual ‘search’ which I now see that we all as human beings have, nothing else but the gloom created as the result of separating ourselves from who we really are as life, as the substance that unites us all as one and equal.

 

Today we discussed about this existential anguish in relation to ‘losing all hope to humanity’ not realizing that I was maybe on my way to creating yet another ‘disorder’ to simply evade facing reality – which we all do one way or another by creating any form of emotion or feeling to make the whole thing turn into a ‘me-myself-I’ experience rather than taking responsibility for the problems we create in our lives and this world and turn it only into a ‘concern’ – and how if I hadn’t discovered Desteni and the ability to Self-Forgive, I would have probably continued down the spiraling road of using art as a way to express this absolute ‘lostness’ that I experienced for great part of my life up to 6 years ago when everything started making sense.

 

All I can say is that it is quite a relief to no longer be drilling my mind with the usual existential-queries and ‘enigmas’ that used to also occupy my-time here, thinking about time, and death, and memories, and identity, and fictional characters, and this life as a dream and so forth… all of which has existed as part of our philosophy with no concrete realization to simply see the direct reality of it all: we have used our mind to divert our attention from reality, from the actual consequences and physical existence that we tend to cloud or ‘paint with other colors’ through thinking about reality, through ‘feeling’ or ‘becoming emotional’ about it and pondering these energetic flicks as ‘more’ than what life really is.

 

After the film ended, Alan Berliner had a Q&A session with the audience, and he ended up saying that ‘Memories are the glue to life’ and I couldn’t disagree more as this mentality is what has kept us since the beginning of our existence as human beings tied to a past that we then ‘choose to forget’ proving that we haven’t moved an iota from the very initial problems we were programmed with, just because we have accepted our mind to be ‘who we really are,’ forgetting or not even being aware of what Life really is, which is not and will never be knowledge and information, and memories. Just like in all our devices – memories are nothing but part of the system that enables us to function as clusters of space and time in a disk drive that sometimes gets full and overloaded and requires some ‘rebooting’ because there’s just ‘too much to info to handle,’ and that’s also what Alzheimer seems like.

 

Memories cannot be the ‘glue of life’ as they are only invisible bits of information we believe is who we are. Life doesn’t require a glue, life is not divided, life is all that is already here that we have separated ourselves from in every moment that we define ourselves as a picture, as an emotion, a thought, a feeling, a memory, all of it part of the masks that we craft and can end up driving us crazy if we continue to overlook the reality and simplicity of who we are here as breathing flesh and bones physical beings that have to now use our memory practically and constructively, to go self-forgiving each thought, word and deed that we’ve acted upon and created in order to ‘forget about who we are’ and as such, not take responsibility for who we are and have become. Look at this world, read the news, talk with people on the streets, look within yourself in your mind and see how this world is our reflection.

 

Learning how to Self-Forgive is the greatest gift one can give to oneself if one does not want to end up driving oneself absolutely insane, or mentally kaput for not having the courage to stand in the face of ourselves, of our past no matter how ‘bad it may seem or how ‘overwhelming’ the consequences of it already are, there is no other way but to stand up for it and face it. Self-Honesty takes Courage and that’s something one has to develop in order to not end up mentally ill due to wanting to forget. My suggestion is to then do this: learn how to Self-Forgive, Remember to Self-Forgive instead of compounding the inner turmoil and the cowardice to recognize who we are and have become, not only as individuals, but as humanity – and so, whenever we see ourselves feeling guilty, ashamed, embarrassed, overwhelmed by our past, our memories, our mind, it is that moment where instead of remaining in the victimization of the experience: we stand up, take a deep breath and decide to self-forgive the experience, the memory, the thought, the deeds and correct ourselves in the moment in the realization that no one did this to us but ourselves, and no one will ‘forgive us’ as there is no God, but ourselves, our own creators.

 

The one last mercy we can give to ourselves is Self Forgiveness, let’s use it and become physical living breathing beings that can stop pondering too much about what life, death, a thought or memories are and rather learn how to live in every moment of breath directing our lives to be and become an example of what we all know we can be when correcting all the mess of the past to stand as self-directive and self-honest individuals, always considering what is best for self and all as equals: no memory required but only as a remembrance of a past to never repeat again.

 

To learn more about Desteni’s perspective on Alzheimer and Memories:

 

To stop being defined only as a memory chip of emotions and feelings:


282. What do Spirituality and War have in Common?

When one speaks about the truth of ourselves which is describing the reality we live in/witness every day and use basic facts like children being maimed and have their limbs blown off by bombs because of a war that was founded upon a seemingly ‘positive thing’ such as ‘eradicating terrorism’ –or whatever the final reason is kept to be – and justifying it with things like defending a nation from external evil, this explanation is then received as a radically Negative message. However this comes from people that would rather pray or indulge in 24/7 with Positive thinking and mass distractions – or mass destruction by seeking personal satisfaction and pursuit of happiness, hooked on so many ubiquitous drugs that have lead people to bankruptcy, losing all their functional relationships, ending up living in tents and cars managing to panhandle just to maintain an addiction.

What’s all of this? an indication of fear: fear of facing ourselves as the mind that we are and have become, that’s what generates crisis: allowing our indecision and irresponsibility to build up to such an extent that we get angry at the world instead of facing ourselves first and this is the origin of protests/rebellion, and its counter part where people would rather seek for peace of mind through attracting all the positive to your life while fearing to see this reality of ourselves that’s becoming to hard to overlook. It’s like running away from ourselves, really.

 

Why would we require positivity/ spirituality movements/ new age exist? Because the negative is what has always prevailed in our society, no matter what –that should already be an indication of how that which is ‘effortless’ such as seeking for our personal benefit, our self interest and competing to ‘win’ at all times seems like a natural instinct for the majority of beings, isn’t it? Hence when such desire is not fulfilled because of the physical reality as our world demonstrating to us our creation as the direct outflow of irrational thinking manifested as our world-system, we turn to love and light and positivity to hide from it, because we can’t just  bear the fact that we are in fact our own worst nightmare and enemy. And yes, this is what creates Fear, the Fear to face ourselves as what we have become.

People would rather pray for the ‘fallen ones’ in war before questioning why does war even exist in the first place, what is ‘in it’ for us to accept war as part of a country’s ‘defense tactics’ justified by the law of ‘an eye for an eye’ as retaliation to purify one’s “honor – this is the principle of war: masking real evil with noble intentions, creating deliberate occupations that are not meant to ‘fight terror’ but rather get a country’s ‘black gold’ that happens to be the motor of our current unsustainable lifestyle that we seek to improve through obtaining more money and more positive thinking – full circle of consumerism sanctified as holy freedom rights.

 

 

 

You drop out and tune in to the TV god that promotes several ways to free yourself, like buying lots of stuff you don’t really need, informing yourself about histories being told by those that would want to keep a certain order of this world and many spawns of religion in the form of spirituality programs and new age thinking that’s fed on a constant basis for massive indoctrination, supporting the surrendering to the here now moment of people that will feel like they’ve finally won a battle against the mind! Yet this is the perfect drug in fact, one so addictive that is hard to refuse and even harder to quit because it is not even considered as something harmful and detrimental to one’s common sensical reasoning and sanity: love, light, beautiful pictures and stories that keep us well contained in a parallel reality where no actual facts exist, where all the ‘ugliness’ of the world is covered up and justified with further things like god being wise and knowing why he would make some deliberately people left to suffer, and not even dare to question god’s word even if it means that we would be forever damned to see others starve while those with money can be thankful for our joyous lucky ride in life. Not a care, not a dare about how their system is being created, legalized and implemented by a set of deliberate flawed laws wherein people have not yet realized the actual contract one is endowed with from the moment of birth: to be a slave  to a corporation called nation that competes with other corporations/nations to make the most profit in this corporate-driven world – citizens are no longer humans with ‘god given rights’ but  employees with limited access to food, water, shelter,  drugs and weapons supplied to keep everyone feeling like there’s some freedom and liberty, feeling all happy and self righteous. with a moment of ‘entertainment’ while feeling safe at home. Hell yeah.

 

How have we come to accept our world as is and how have we come to invest our time, effort and resources  to disguise the massive totalitarian control that’s taking place. The charismatic leader is, unfortunately, not going to be someone like the usual fascist clichés imposing fear through  energetic personalities, but quite the opposite: it won’t be one single person, it won’t be perceived as ‘negative’ and it won’t seem angry – it is an ideology, it spreads like a feel-good drug that is easily indulged to by your own acceptance and allowance of thoughts that lead you to experiences that make you feel ‘good’ inside your mind and it will be presented as the ultimate remedy for a troubled angry hopeless human mind: Positivity. And yes, unfortunately in can only work if you have enough money to feed yourself to use up that energy to generate all the positive thoughts that we are so ignorant about in terms of what are the effects thinking and imagining create in this world – and not outside, as that is once again, our truth – but in the inside as in consuming our own living flesh to power up our own new-clear mind plant that we run inadvertently without ever pondering what the effects are of the words in our reality as building blocks of our creation.

 

Hence we go back to square 1: why would we require wars to get someone else’s resources through violent (vile-ends) means if we could instead establish a world system wherein resources are equally given and received?

Power requires abuse and the means to obtain it have been justified –we’ve done the same when seeking spirituality/ benevolence and our ‘prosperity’ that is composed and formed by a plethora of articles and services made and given by people that have no option but to work in such demeaning jobs with no other alternative.

 

In terms of war, it should be absolute common sensical reasoning that you cannot fight fire with fire and fighting terror with war is just that –would this prove that the level of intelligence and critical reasoning has been deliberately lowered in order to maintain an entire world driven by money, being busy seeking happiness through money that buys the sex, booze, drugs and a self-righteous superior position to ensure that there are always those that are enslaved to maintain the ‘life of the fortunate riches’ that are, at the same time, also consumed as an entertainment product that is bought/paid by those that live such menial lives that seek for a bit of ‘escapism’ from the dread of working to die and what do you get? TV and the most trivial entertainment that ensures people remain in this endless loop of barely making a living and using the little free time left to run the well known course of the seeking-for-something loop of god, sex, money, drugs, partying, remaining in isolation or openly hating each other to create excuses outside of ourselves as points to blame or get easily annoyed by, to then justify the personal desire for ‘inner peace’ through positivity or retaliation through war or killing your noisy neighbor.

  This is how the inner-demons are fought with light/love/positivity, not realizing that light also runs its course and cannot be sustained forever, just like ourselves in this world: what’s the point in going through an entire lifetime of endless battles within and without of ourselves? Is this what we are here for? I would say this is what we have created ourselves to exist for, which is different: we decide at all times what we do and how we live.

 

The inherent self-experience that we believe we just can’t get rid of-hence turning to love and spirituality as a cure, is definitively addictive pattern based on the lack of understanding how our mind works/operates, because just like the analogy of dark and light: the dark does not require batteries to exist, and the light does and as such, just like our oil that’s keeping our current ‘lifestyles’ in place, it will also come to a dead end in a not so far away future that’s already here.

 

What will run out first? Oil or Hope? I would like Hope to be the answer to this question, so that practical living measures are taken immediately and stop the inaction,  because we are in fact aware of what we are generating and perpetuating every single day and we realize one thing: we know the problem because we are it, we just haven’t realized to what urgency a solution is required to be in place so that we can all stop battling ourselves inside seeking for some comfort in the light that lead us to wage wars to  power/ sustain such light/positive/  progressive self experience, which is what we are currently seeing as all the beautiful pictures of what a wonderful lifestyle we can have if we just dare ourselves to dream and think positive. Nevermind the millions abroad fighting for a war they believe is a ‘higher purpose’ for a godly-blessed nation, nevermind those that work as slaves to produce such wonderful life.

 

Investigate Desteni to understand the inherent fear that we seek to mask and cope with by seeking spirituality, the same way that in fear we created money to create control and abuse – Equal Money Capitalism is the proposal to finally stop the massive destruction and abuse that is imposed when granting each other’s ‘rights’ in the name of self defense, because there will be nothing to ‘defend ourselves from,’ because fear will be understood and stopped within the understanding that we can only exist in fear when disregarding all parts of ourselves as equals.

This is a practical common sensical solution that will stop people from hoping and praying and instead use the available support to develop a real sense of physical living of cooperation and mutual regard in equality. No more will the sugar-fueled addiction of spirituality and love armed with righteous guns exist. Will this be a hard one to ‘give up’ here? Will common sense prevail after all?

Let’s find out – I dare you

 

The answer to the title of this blog is:

Spiritual Money

 

Further Support:

 

Blogs:

 

Free Download:

Spirituality and Rebirth

Spirituality Under the Microscope – Volume 2

The Crucifixion of Jesus – Part 1

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I Finally Understand…


192. The Reasoning behind Procrastination

The end of the character – the beginning of new points.

Conclusions and new beginnings within the Procrastination Character

 

So, here is a consideration. Procrastination and various realizations were walked while working on this series of blogs – however I realize that it is useless unless I walk it, and that’s a general consideration with all of our writings within Self Forgiveness, that it is not a magic wand, it is actually getting to know the pattern in such detail that we can only continue fooling ourselves to Not live out the corrections we’ve specified here.

Another aspect I can see is how Self Forgiveness is not about now pumping our ‘spirits’ and creating a willingness to do so based on energy as a positive-attitude toward it, as that can eventually down-grade to the downhill experience toward it – thus I realize that every point of correction that I walk must be an actual integration of the correction as a habit, as a pattern that I can stand as without any ‘effort’ or ‘impetus’ stemming with an energetic surge to ‘do it’ which can downfall in the ‘not wanting to do it’ and within that, we could only get back to our drawing board to see, okay, what have I missed?

In my case, I’ve realized that there are Many points that opened up with this character, since it’s been virtually a progressive point that I left behind/ delbierately postponed in looking at the ‘postponement character’ as I’ve explained which entails that there is an aspect that I was Not willing to face within myself. And this is where I lead myself to, the character extraction of postponement/procrastination inevitably leads me to see what is it in fact that I am resisting to look at, what am I exactly doing to myself, why am I doing this even if I KNOW/ knew all the way that it is not what I had planned/ meant to do.

Now, looking into these aspects that I was not willing to open up is not a ‘piece of cake’ because

1. I was only thinking too much about it but not looking into myself and writing about it, applying self forgiveness and self corrective application to make sense of myself, which is the point that cannot be side-viewed when we see ourselves stepping into this wobbly ground wherein we Believe that we are ‘superior to our mind’ and we can just figure it out/ sort out the point in our minds without actually walking it/ writing it/ applying the corrections.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think too much about what I had to do without actually assisting and supporting me to write the point out and follow through it within a practical application of self-forgiveness, because I wanted to ‘sort it out’ myself within the belief that I could just ‘stop it’ in one moment and be through it without any further hesitation, which is an indication of ego trying to ‘sort it out in one go’ without realizing that the moment that a point has not been directed in a long time and it is still ‘here’ as a point that has not been moved, it requires immediate attention and direction in order to support myself, as I see and realize that trying to ‘make up my mind’ about it is really covering up/ disguising/ make-up excuses and justifications for not doing something and further procrastinating it. Thus

 

When and as I see myself thinking that I can easily ‘sort out’ a point within my mind, which has been going on for an extended period of time – I stop and I breathe – I flag point immediately this ‘brushing off’ attitude wherein I realize that I must take the point ‘by the horns’ so to speak, in order to not further grow the ‘calamity’ and as such, take he responsibility of my own inactions/ actions to investigate what is going on with me, why am I simply not directing myself effectively within one point in my reality, what are the thoughts, the experiences, the backchat behind it? As I see and realize that the more it s procrastinated the more it will be fueled by a negative experience toward it, eventually building it as a fortress that I will simply have to debunk/ deconstruct anyways as there is no-way I can escape from my responsibility, no matter what.

 

I commit myself to assist and support me to immediately look at a point that I’ve been deliberately ‘leaving around’ to no look at it/ not face the point, as I see and realize that this is just part of the resistances that I have to get to know how I created and why have I simply not looked into them, which is an indication of me having to look at myself and walk the necessary process of self correction without further procrastination.

 

2. I was trying to ‘make sense’ of my procrastination through a positive-perspective toward it, such as what I’ve explained within the previous points wherein I would place a positive-experience or deemed ‘positive task’ to do instead of doing this particular task/ project without comparing it to other tasks in my reality – within this,  not wanting to actually look at what was in fact the resistance to work on this document, what was it all about and how I could practically ‘do something about it’ which is obviously first: getting to know myself and the entire ‘case’ I made out of this project/ writing that I have to do and then actually walking the correction .

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and justify/ excuse and most importantly validate my procrastination based on having ‘other tasks to do’ that I have deemed as ‘more important’ and within this excuse, wanting to justify my deliberate neglect toward other tasks in my reality that I see and realize will ‘not go away’ and that I have to actually walk through them and direct myself to take responsibility for them.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to justify a resistance experienced toward writing based on having ‘better things to do’ and within this always making it ‘alright’ in my mind to not get to the task at hand, which is the easy-positive thinking that I would indulge in to always remain with a ‘positive score’ within me, even if I knew that I was not properly giving direction and directing myself toward all things that I have to do/ work on in my reality.

 

When and as I see myself wanting to validate, excuse and justify a point of procrastination with ‘better things to do/ more valuable things/ more important things in my reality’  – I stop and I breathe – I realize that this value-schemes are part of my own creation in order to relegate the task that is part of my professional career to a ‘second point’ in my reality, without considering that it is a priority and it is in fact as important as any other task that I have committed myself to within the principle of assisting and supporting myself within this process in my reality and within the network of support that we represent and are.

 

I commit myself to give myself direction in an equal basis/ manner to all points in my reality and within this, stopping the value-scheme toward tasks wherein there are no ‘less important’ tasks or ‘more important’ tasks – but remain equal and consistent within my application in all aspects of my reality.

 

3. I wasn’t willing to recognize that what is “natural” to us is all aspects that lead us to self-sabotage and always create a point of conflict to not be able to function properly in our lives, and this is just because of who we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become based on  the mind and trying to remain within a ‘winning situation’ at all times while no action is being taken upon All aspects of who we are within our reality – among other various variables that are yet to be explored.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and make sense to why I was procrastinating with excuses and validations as previously mentioned, without actually investigating what is it that is actually leading me to self-sabotage, what is it that I am in fact not looking at/ identifying within me to give myself proper direction within this point.

 

When and as I see myself facing a ‘wall’ within looking at the reason/ processing behind an aspect of my reality that I am not able to ‘pinpoint’ as to why I am not moving within it – I stop and I breathe – I first of all ask myself: what am I preventing me to see within myself that is leading me to deliberately sabotage myself and my decisions? And if there is no clear answer, then I assist and support myself with asking questions to others that are also walking this process as us Destonians are able to always give ourselves a perspective that we would have most likely not considered/ not being willing to look at, which is how within the dimension of self-support must at all times be considered in order to not just try and ‘figure it all out’ ourselves – as outlined in point number 1 – and instead, accept and allow the support that is available in gratefulness.

 

I commit myself to ask for support and assistance and allow myself to get further perspectives when facing a point that I cannot simply ‘make sense of’ by only writing about it and not really understanding ‘why’ we are doing things to ourselves, as we can be missing out an important aspect that we might not be looking at because of and due to the extent we have become the pattern in itself, which is how and why buddying/ assistance and support at Desteni is all about: allowing ourselves to be supported by others within the principle of us being living the point of supporting ourselves unconditionally as well.

 

4. Another point I realized is how one underlying aspect of this all is wanting to ‘serve others/ be there as support for others’ and missing out this basic point of self support for Myself. This is what I will begin with on the following posts to come, to see where this personality of the helper/ good person/ supportive person has lead me to self compromise when not walking in an equilibrium between my ‘supportive role’ and my own personal-support as in walking the responsibilities that I have within my world that are not linked toward my own process however are absolutely Part of Process as it is part of my reality and the points that I am walking within my life in this world.

And here’s where that Jesuit school motto comes to mind ‘Ser para los demás’ = ‘To be/ Being For Others’ – which is  essentially missing out oneself and then yes, it’s like ‘awesome, you are of ‘great support’ for others but, where’s your own self-support and self responsibility within your world?’ Self’s application must be Equal in all ways and I cannot give more to be something for ‘others’ but rather stand as an example of being the support I want for myself and that I can give to others and as such, give it back to myself. 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to procrastinate my own responsibilities based on wanting to rather ‘support others/ be there for others’ and within this, missing out my own priorities and responsibilities which I see and realize that it is actually stemming from wanting to ‘do good to others’ while creating an actual physical space-time consequences due to me using the point of supporting others as an excuse to not get to my own responsibilities in my reality. Thus

 

When and as I see myself making the decision to rather do this/that which is based on supporting others/ being ‘there for others’ – I stop and I breathe – I realize that as long as this support of ‘being there for others’ stems from a point of wanting to help/ support to be a ‘good person’ and use this as an excuse to not get to my responsibilities, it is actually an unacceptable way of supporting as I am missing out myself and furthermore creating further excuses as how it is ‘better’ to support others because it makes me feel ‘better’ than just doing a task for an institution, wherein it is common sense that all aspects of my reality are equally important and equally priority within this process wherein everything that I commit myself to do will be based on self-responsibility in all aspects/ points in my reality.

I commit myself to equalize my application in all aspects of my reality wherein no point is less or more important as I realize that all commitments I make are equally important within my reality and my development as a person that is able to be self responsible in all aspects/ ways which is the decision one makes when standing up for life and the creation of an actual better world for ourselves.

 

So, the procrastination character has now morphed into looking at the ‘game played’ while procrastinating, and that’s the nitty-gritty aspects that I commit myself to open up in the following posts.

Desteni

Desteni Forum 

Desteni I Process

Equal Money System 

Character extraction

Character Extraction 2008

 

Blogs:

 

Interviews:

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80. Seeking for a Meaningful Li(e)fe

“This is even better!” Is a constant way to talk ourselves into thinking that whatever we had perceived as a failure/ fall is now ‘overcome’ and the ‘new me’ is even better, so as to always remain like the ‘winner in the story’ wherein the character that suffered some great fall/ disillusionment finds something ‘greater’ than before, something that is ‘the real shit,’ the ‘real deal’ and absolutely ‘truthful to oneself.’ Can you recognize the gibberish? Yes, it is sponsored by the most common spiritual positive type of self-talk to always remain like a ‘winner’ in your mind, no matter what.

 

This is a continuation of:

Pattern:

  1. “I did not get what I wanted; I seek for something else to ‘truly’ fulfill me”
  2. Wanting to escape from the ‘capitalist world’ and rebel by boing to an ‘unexpected extreme’

 

“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that Anything taken Personally is Just a Defense Mechanism to Protect a Character from being Diminished in its Role of Competing for Validation, and Influence and Happiness in the World of Illusion as Character to keep the Illusion going, because in the Illusion the Character makes all the Rules and is a Law unto itself, Regardless of what Harm it Bring to the Natural Living World” – Bernard Poolman*

 

Self-Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to whenever I do not get what I want, I drop it, diss it and ‘move on’ by spitefulness to seek something – once again – that will ‘fulfill me’ in a more ‘truthful manner,’ which is what is usually linked to escaping the world of money that I had accepted and allowed myself to judge extensively.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to throw psychological tantrums wherein through allowing myself to remain in a particular ‘emotional mode,’ I make decisions based on that emotional-spitefulness, without considering at all what is it that I initially reacted to and how I was absolutely self-responsible for that which I deemed was ‘done onto me,’ which I allowed myself to use to become ‘the victim,’ instead of taking responsibility for all the stages of the event/ moment/ situations that took place before I go into an emotional-breakdown wherein I ‘revamp’ myself by doing something ‘radical’ for a change.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be against something/ someone that I had initially sought to attain and that, because I didn’t get my satisfaction from it, I then turn against it, diss it/ criticize it and judge everyone involved wherein I turn into a spiteful person that ‘does not want anything to do with that/ them’ in an emotional state, without being able to consider a solution simply because of allowing me to be self-righteous about my emotional experience, believing that ‘I had the right to be pissed off/ sad/ disillusioned.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and I would go into disillusionment, an ‘emotional breakdown’ and seeing my entire ‘world’ falling apart, I would do the next most radical thing that I could pursue in my own value and moral schemes, wherein I would then take me to the opposite extreme just to spite the previous situation, to not have to face my responsibility toward everything that I judged, but instead, become self-righteous about it and believe that ‘it is my right to do whatever I want and say whatever I want to say, I don’t give a fuck about anything’

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to make decisions in my life while being possessed by anger and spitefulness, believing myself to be ‘right’ about being angry and this being backed up by friends that would agree with me, just because of how I would tell the story which was obviously to my benefit, to make me look like ‘the victim’ so that I could get their commiseration and have them backing up my ‘new plans’ for life.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create ‘friendships’ based on how much they could agree with the character I was aiming at being/ becoming.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to deliberately become spiteful toward the people involved in an event that I projected blame toward, without ever realizing how I had accepted and allowed myself to just ‘trust’ without any form of actual communication and understanding of what I was in fact participating in and cooperating with.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to use people to validate my perspectives, points of view upon the entire event so that I could feel like I was ‘cheated’ and remain as a ‘victim’ that had all the right to simply cut all ties with them and ‘do things my way,’ which is a recurrent pattern whenever I experience myself as ‘the victim’ in the world, gathering enough ‘votes to my favor’ so that I could feel good in my misery.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to use ‘disillusionment’ from ‘the artworld’ as an excuse for me to seek new ways to create wherein I use people to validate my ‘new aims’ based on wanting to create a more ‘meaningful’ art that would not be sold in art galleries.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to start a project based on spitefulness, a desire for revenge and an apparent ‘healing process’ to what I perceived was ‘done onto me,’ which was nothing else but 100% pure drama that I created in order to validate my own way out of having to face my responsibility, not realizing that any anger that I allowed myself to exist as was in fact anger toward myself for not getting my dream and instead facing reality, which was then me thinking that ‘I had made the wrong choice,’ which all boils down to me realizing that I simply was not alright toward myself at all and that my discomfort, anger and frustration was not even about the entire art event, but a general dissatisfaction with myself.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to seek to now turn into spirituality even further as a way to finally declare my dissociation from ‘mainstream arts,’ and seeking to ‘find the truth’ in that which I had been reading/ investigating which was in the vein of entheogens and spiritual awakenings through the use of acid.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to turn further into spirituality as a way to escape what I judged as the evil capitalist world that would ‘suck artists dry of their pure inspiration,’ which was nothing but blatant self manipulation to get things my way and remain as a ‘winner’ in my world.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see how I used spirituality as way to spite the world as in spite-you-all that is also existent in the word spiritual. I realize that my search for ‘god’ or a transcendental experience was based on knowledge and information that I sought to ‘make real’ in my world through following a ‘divine path’ that I was creating for myself, wherein all signs and symbols and events that I started connecting would ‘match’ a pattern of me having to apparently become this enlightened being that could create a new form of art that could heal the masses.

 

This was the moment in my life when I was rapidly hitting rock bottom – this was December and I found Desteni the last day of the last month, where everything that went on for these two months was nothing but me drowning myself into my own ‘tormented soul’ and not getting any other satisfaction but the one that I was busy building as the ‘spiritual search,’ dedicating my entire days to research more and learn about conspiracy theories and everything that I could use to redefine my career.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ‘want to seek the truth behind the veil of money and success’ wherein I was aiming at becoming some type of ascetic that is only seeking for a ‘divine truth’ by detaching from all worldly things and pursuing my ‘spiritual awakening’ even further – never realizing or considering at all what I was in fact doing and proclaiming as an overall desire to ‘detach from the system,’ which was plain ignorant as I had no idea nor did I consider how no one is able to really in fact be ‘out of the system,’ yet I proclaimed I would do it in the name of ‘the truth’ and ‘my mission in life,’ which started blending more with my artistic-endeavors and I was busy shaping my ‘new religion’ based on spirituality, art and a guru-like personality.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to seek ‘the truth’ through the use of drugs as a means to ‘speed up my awakening’ which proves to what extent I manipulated myself to ‘spite the system’ in what I deemed was ‘the key’ out of the system, seeking spiritual enlightenment so that I would not have to be ‘bound by the claws of the system,’ which was very naïve of myself and plain ignorant, because I never considered how everything that I consume had to be paid for, including the drugs.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to want to ‘seek for something to give me the answer to my life’ and ‘seeking to create meaningful art’ as a point of self-definition based on spitefulness due to/ because of the previous event wherein my dreams of fame/ success we’re not fulfilled as I wanted them to be, throwing a tantrum and seeing everything as being ‘not good enough for me,’ believing myself to be ‘more special than that,’ which is how I lead myself to pursue an spiritual awakening and being predicating overzealously about it, which was me driving myself into my own religion wherein I could finally ‘do things my way’ and apparently ‘free myself from the system.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself at the moment of writing this because of seeing it as absolutely tantrum-based, typical emotional breakdown wherein overcoming the situation implies doing something ‘more rebellious’ than what was done in the past, wherein I simply would have continued trying something out and when being dissatisfied by it, dumping it and going for the next big hit in my life – over and over and over again moving from one spot to another seeking for a ‘truth’ outside of myself.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as plain stupid for having done what I’ve done, and regret having existed with such self-righteousness in the past wherein I could not see anything else but what I deemed was ‘right’ and believing that what I was doing was ‘my right to do so,’ in absolute spitefulness and vengeful ways that I covered up in a positive manner through and by spirituality, believing that I had to go through such ‘tormented situations’ to give up my ‘earthly desires’ and pursuit a more ‘divine-relationship with god.’

 

So this is the moment that I was ready to go fully into the rabbit hole of spirituality and religions and, if it had not been because of finding Desteni and finally supporting myself to stop all my mindfucks, I would have probably continued that way for the remainder of my life.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I had to seek ‘beyond myself’ and my ‘limited mind’ to create some type of transcendental art, wanting to ‘establish awareness with the divine in this world,’ which is how I justified all my endeavors in separation of myself, seeking for a ‘truth’ that I could defend zealously, because of thinking that ‘this time, what I was pursuing was ‘above it all’ as it had to do with the idea of god and the ‘whole’ as myself. I realize that this is the ‘oneness’ preached in spirituality, wherein I would only seek to fulfill myself and my dreams/ ideals based on ‘the positive’ while being absolutely oblivious to the entire world and Reality, where no bliss or happiness exists if you have no money to eat.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to want to ‘change the world’ through art mixing it with spiritual practices, so that I could fulfill my spiritual ego and endeavors of something ‘greater than myself,’ which is the basic and primordial fuck that lead us to the point that we are now facing in our reality, wherein everything that we have ever sought is this ‘moreness’ of ourselves outside of ourselves, in separation of who we are as one and equal.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to validate my ‘pursuit’ by taking other artistic characters as examples, wherein I ‘knew’ that by creating this specialness about my life and turning into this ‘misunderstood misfit’ I could justify my work as even more ‘meaningful’ within the art world, due to how ‘drama’ was accepted as a key ingredient to ‘make any real art.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my abdication of responsibility toward myself, my word and reality by pursuing ‘spiritual realms’ wherein I could apparently only establish a relationship with something divine and somehow be magically ‘saved from this evil world,’ without even taking a moment to look at reality and see how I was the very +1 point added to the entire mess wherein we only care about ourselves, our own pursuit of happiness which I translated to an apparent ‘superior’ stage such as spirituality, never realizing it is no different to pursuing being a millionaire and having ‘all the power in the world,’ as I translated such power to light, bliss and ultimate wholeness that spiritual teachings claimed.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to think ‘I don’t want anything to do with this reality any longer’ which was just another character script line so that I could justify my ‘eccentricity’ as a special being in this ‘fucked up world’ that seeks for something ‘greater’ that not everyone pursues, fueling my own mindfuck by the perspectives and opinions given by people around me which were all relationships backing up my character, my self-belief and within this thinking that I was ‘on the right path’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become the thought ‘I just want to be at peace with myself’ wherein I implied that all that I cared was me-myself-and-I and the rest could go down the drain, because of believing that I was not my body, that this world was an illusion and that I had nothing to do with this ‘realm’ of earthly desires. Within this manipulating myself to be and become this spiritual-artist character that is ‘more special’ than everyone else in my own mind only.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to judge, criticize, diss and diminish the ‘glamorous art realms’ due to and because of me believing and perceiving that I had been ‘cheated’ within it, and that I was ‘too noble’ for such businesses, which became my excuse to not pursue anything ‘real’ within my career but only follow through my spiritual endeavors and beginning to start thinking again that I had made the wrong career choice, and that I should dedicate myself fully to spirituality.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to make an ‘oath’ with myself to only make art that ‘matters’ and not just take nice pictures, which was me making myself ‘more’ than before just so that I could not feel like I had failed in my dreams and endeavors to become famous and ‘well known’ in the artworld.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think that ‘I don’t want to sell myself out this time,’ which is when I started judging money even more as something evil and corrupt that would ‘taint noble young souls’ and ruining the ‘true artist’ which I deemed myself to be, based on all the stories I had read of other artistic characters that I took as a bible to follow

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that this time, I was going to create something ‘real’ and ‘meaningful’ which was just creating my self-religion based on past experiences wherein I was still trying to spite everything that could point out to earning lots of money/ being famous just because I had not achieved my satisfaction within that point, not realizing that if it had in fact ‘satisfied me,’ I would have continued walking my endeavors to escalate more and more in the artworld and continue defending ‘art’ the way that I did before.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever think, believe and perceive myself to being establishing a relationship with ‘the divine’ and wanting to express ‘god’ through my work, getting lost in meanings, symbols, knowledge and information that I consumed in order to create this ‘unique’ self-religion so that I could make of art and spirituality ‘my life,’ all in separation of myself, not even regarding how everything that allowed me to continue living was money to buy food and pay my rent and continue existing in this world, which is how I deliberately shun away the actual planning and the practical steps to be taken in order to establish myself as being able to earn money from art.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think ‘god is not money and fame, and it is here for everyone,’ wherein I deluded myself into thinking that I could escape from reality somehow if I established a real devotion toward ‘the divine,’ which is nothing more but pure fanaticism that I was busy building and feeding through knowledge and information that I would quickly embrace because ‘it sounded good to my eyes,’ which proves how anything that eventually shattered my world was seen as something ‘of doubtful precedence’ and ‘not trust worthy’ just because of how I had become so used to thinking that life was about beauty, art and ‘the divine’ that I had to somehow embrace as a constant ‘state of being, ‘ as eternally blissful even if I was in this world – which is the ultimate declaration of separation, as I was willing to pursue this eternal satisfaction, feeling untouchable by the world while the world could fall apart in pieces because I would be protected, because of being a ‘good divine follower’ to some god/ energy/ superior being that I was busy trying to create a relationship to- never ever taking the point back to myself to see how I was only seeking me in separation of myself here.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I would not sell my artwork to ‘stay true to myself, ‘ which was nothing else but a tantrum-based declaration due to the past events of which I remain a victim of for a long time, due to me deliberately seeing how I was absolutely responsible for it all.

 

spiritual mindfuck

 

 

Self-Corrective Statements

When and as I see myself wanting to get rid of something/ someone based on a past event wherein I see myself as the victim – I stop and I breathe – I realize that this point will not have to even be existent if I stop the victimization process from the get go every time that I believe and perceive that ‘something is being done onto me.’ Thus I take the point back to myself, take responsibility for what I have created, said/done and within that, stop the cycles of spitefulness, revenge and retaliation toward anything or anyone that I have blamed for my experience.

 

When and as I see myself going into a tantrum of feeling misunderstood and building up emotions and feelings with it, I stop and I breathe. I realize that every time that I see myself going into a ‘down’ experience is linked to me not fulfilling an expectation that I envisioned in separation of myself. Thus I take responsibility to ensure that whatever I do is based on the benefit of all and not just pursuing my personal-life of seeking any form of desire as something/ someone in separation of myself. I realize I am here, breathing, and complete. I do not require anyone or anything to make me ‘more’ than who and what I already am here.

 

When and as I see myself seeking for a ‘radical change’ in my life, I stop and I breathe. I realize that such ‘radical’ and ‘extreme’ moves are based on wanting to spite something/ someone, wanting to make myself ‘more’ again based on a previous perceived fall leading to the belief of me ‘lacking’ something to make myself feel better again, which is all mind-state based/ experience based which is not who and what I really am. Who and what I exist as is the simplicity of breath here that is self directive and does not require to experience something ‘more’ based on a previous memory of a perceived fall. All I require is to stop participating in thoughts leading to a ‘more’ or ‘less’ experience of myself and continue breathing, doing and directing myself to be an do that which is best for all.

 

When and as I see myself believing that I am right at being/ becoming angry at someone/ the world and people agree about this experience within me. I stop and I breathe. I realize that this is not a point to trust as I am manipulating myself to become the victimized character that seeks company and commiseration in order to justify my own experience as ‘real,’ which is not. I direct myself to take responsibility for any thought implying that I am being done something ‘onto me,’ instead I take responsibility for my thoughts, stop, breathe and continue directing myself within the practicality required in the moment.

 

When and as I see myself projecting blame onto others, thinking or believing that ‘they are doing something onto me deliberately,’ I stop and I breathe. I realize that this is the victimized character mechanism to ensure that I continue seeking ways to ‘make myself feel better’ by opposing, creating further conflict to regain my ‘positive experience.’ I realize that who I am here as breath does not require to exist as a constant experience.

 

When and as I see myself using spitefulness and a deliberate self-deprecated sate of being as a ‘healing process’ I stop and I breathe. I realize that I used this ‘state of being’ to manipulate people around me, to ‘have mercy on me’ and continue fueling my character of the ‘suffered and misunderstood one’ which is unacceptable, as it is nothing else but emotional blackmail that I am able to stop the very moment that I see myself feeling ‘down’ and ‘low’ as a deliberate expression presented onto and toward others.

 

When and as I see myself wanting to ‘spite the system’ by doing something that is ‘against the law’ and against ‘morals’ I stop and I breathe – I realize the little game for what it is as a means to make myself be ‘more’ than/ more clever/ more ‘cunning’ in the system based on doing that which is ‘forbidden,’ which is just a tantrum and mind-game of self-importance that I ensure I don’t ever participate in by establishing myself here as breath wherein I take responsibility for everything I do, say and think.

 

When and as I see myself seeking for something to give me the answer to life, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am the answer to life by directing myself in common sense, stopping all useless participation in thoughts, emotions and feelings and realize that there is actual work to be done within myself and in my reality to be the solution required in this world. This implies nothing else but common sensical living, moment by moment, breath by breath, taking responsibility for all the mind-games that I’ve placed and ensuring I stop them here as myself in every moment that I breathe and stop participating in the mind.

 

When and as I see myself whining about wanting to experience something, I stop and I breathe – I realize I am creating an unnecessary friction in my mind to eventually become possessed by that whining and get it by all means possible, which is unacceptable. I remain the directive principle of myself here in every moment that I breathe and direct myself in common sense.

 

When and as I see myself accessing the pattern of ‘I don’t want to do this any longer’ I stop and I breathe. I check the point wherein I have missed the point of myself and how I am creating a ‘better experience’ in mind. I apply self forgiveness for the desire of a ‘moreness of myself’ in separation of who I am here as simplicity of breath. Within this I ensure that I remain in the simplicity, stability and consistency of myself in breath day by day, moment by moment without defining myself according to the past or any other desire, want and need that may emerge in the mind.

 

When and as I see myself seeking to create, be and become something ‘meaningful’ I stop and I breathe. I realize that I am separating myself in the desire of ‘meaningfulness’ as something more than myself here in simplicity as breath.

 

When and as I see myself judging selling my work, I stop and I breathe. I realize that such judgment comes from the self-righteous spitefulness toward the perceived ‘evil world system,’ which means that it is all judgment based on making myself feel ‘less corrupt’ than everyone else, which is a lie to see myself as ‘better than.’ Thus, I direct myself to if and the opportunity is here to do so, go for it and use the money to support myself in what I require to consume to continue living. Simple.

 

When and as I see myself thinking that I have to ‘stay true to myself,’ I stop and I breathe. I realize that this ‘truth’ as myself has been a personality that has believed itself to always be right as a character/ personality based on always seeing myself as the winner, the one that is right and always ‘on the right path.’ Thus I direct myself to simply stay here as breath wherein I see, realize and understand that I do not require to make myself as a ‘truth’ and ‘honest’ person based on a self-belief of ‘being right’ about my decisions and actions – instead I continue breathing and moving myself moment by moment without holding an ‘idea’ or belief of ‘who I am’ moment by moment.

 

“I commit myself to show that as Long as One Create Self as a Character in the Mind, one is a Criminal that Abuses Life for Self-Interest of the Self Created as Character.” – Bernard Poolman

 

For support on Self-Forgiveness go to the Desteni Forum

Read our blogs at Journey to Life

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“I commit myself to show that Self-Honesty will be Tough, as the Characters of the Life of Self have Multiple Diversions and know all the Lies – and thus will Do Everything in thought Backchat to Invalidate Self-Honesty. Discipline Self, Breath by Breath, in Self-Honesty to Return to the Physical Body and to Stop all thought, as Thought Only Creates Characters of Illusion that Lie.” – Bernard Poolman

 

Blogs for de-characterization:

This is a continuation to:


59: Is the Elite the Only Parasite of the Earth?

 

Perceiving ourselves as ‘handcuffed’ in this world to create a change is a state of victimization wherein we make ourselves believe that ‘we cannot do anything about the world! because ‘others’ are in control!’ – Really? But who has accepted and allowed such ‘control’ in the first place? It is in this state of denial of Self-Responsibility that we have created the world as is: in an absolute crisis that we can only condemn as an act of ‘evil’ that ‘others/ they’ have deployed in realty.

We are prisoners of our own illusions – are these illusions really only ‘illusions’ or are they outflows of acceptances and allowances that have a starting point of and as separation of who we are as one and equals? Is such separation only an illusion then? Why do we get caught up in the characters being played within the global system such as elite/ powerful people doing ‘wrong’ onto others, while we are all Still collectively accepting it as ‘how things are.’ And this is not only a contemporary assessment, one has to have a look at how the cave man operated in order to understand how the drive for power and control did not only emerge with Money – Money is but an outflow of systematizing such power and control as an acceptable way of ‘government’ – Yet, what we are not willing to understand is how such forms of control were actually a way to contain our inherent nature of evil. Who would we be with full ‘free will’ and ‘free choice’ in this world? With no laws, no regulations, no form of ‘control’ – We must be Self-Honesty enough to understand that we would have killed each other and the world would be probably fully depleted by now. Not everyone is willing to understand that we are one and equal as the ‘evil’ that we tend to only project to ‘those in power,’ why? Because through accepting ourselves as equally evil to ‘those in power,’ it makes us equally responsible and that is what is mostly avoided to be realized, as that would entail that we can no longer rejoice in ‘blaming others’ for what we are, but we then have to work with the elite, with the poor, with the middle class and realize that we can only create a change in this world if we are all willing to cooperate to create solutions.

 

So, within this: are we willing to open our eyes and realize our Equal Responsibility in this World? The only reason why we could continue blaming an elite is because we are not willing to do the work ourselves, to do what is necessary to be done in order to ‘change the world’ which is first and foremost: changing ourselves, correcting our starting point from blame, justification, excuse and spitefulness to actual one-and-equal understanding that WE would have done exactly the same things if living the life of a person in the ‘elite.’ In the end, you and I having enough money to eat, to have electricity, a computer and enough education to write are well aware that this already makes us part of the Elite against the billions that have nothing of this and are only asking themselves why on Earth no one gives a damn about them.

 

Where Do You Decide to Stand Here?

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the ‘greedy’ and ‘rich’ as the elite of the world for being selfish, without realizing how such selfishness is an embedded aspect of ‘human nature’ that we are all responsible for having cultivated and never questioned in reality, only caring for our own survival which I and you also participate in – therefore, I realize that the current state of the world is the accumulation of such oblivious stance toward the world system as ourselves, as our own creation. It is Us individuals that created the system – therefore we can’t blame ‘the system’ for all that we have externalized from how our very own mind works as an occupant of the body that should exist in oneness and equality as and of life.

I realize upon physical-evidence as this world that it is ourselves as the mind who have created the current world system as our ‘image and likeness,’ which makes us all Equally-Responsible for the current crisis, destruction and absolute degradation of life into a world-system of money.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame ‘those in power’ as being of ‘sadistic nature’ when in fact, such ‘nature’ is inherent to every single human being on Earth that will do whatever it takes to get the most of the cake, to survive and thrive even if that means abusing another living being to do so – including the Earth’s resources – therefore, I realize that me condemning someone as ‘sadistic’ is placing myself in a puritan pedestal as if ‘I had nothing to do with it’ – in this, victimizing myself, handcuffing myself and choosing to be the ‘abused’ instead of realizing I am one and equal as the abuser, for I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in an essentially sadistic system that reflects us back our own inherent-nature that is running in our heads and that becomes even more evident every time that we try to ‘wash our hands’ from the obvious participation in the same system of abuse.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that ‘the elite’ are hiding their ‘true nature’ behind philanthropist endeavors, without realizing that such ‘true nature’ is equally evil and of absolute self-interest, greed and general disregard toward Life which makes us all fake good-doers that pretend to be ‘right’ and ‘good’ and ‘thoughtful’ – just like a philanthropist – while taking the high stake of being able to judge others for what we would have mostly also done in their shoes, with their money, their education and environment as it is all they ever knew. Within this I realize that the elite person is equally responsible as myself for having accepted and allowed ourselves to believe that only through exerting power over others can we live, which is the first assumption that lead us to create a world system base in inequality and within that, complicating our lives to find seemingly ‘good ways’ to support others, without understanding that Life was never considered in Equality, which lead us to  create a system that didn’t function according to Life itself as a physical reality – but instead, we all agreed to create a system that works only to benefit some while the rest are not considered within the equation – or extremely limited within their benefits – so that there is people willing to do ‘any work’ that those with money won’t be willing to do.

I realize that we have forcibly pushed people to be slaves in order to maintain a system of benefit for a minority and of scarcity and limitation as fear of survival to control, which reveals our ‘true nature’ as human beings that have accepted and allowed this disparity to exist in the first place, in separation of who we really are as life.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the Elite for ‘genocidal choices’ without realizing what choice I took as an individual the moment that I accepted and allowed life to be consumed in order to satisfy myself as a mind, as an experience that only seeks its own survival and is evil in nature as the reversed mechanism of transforming life’s substance into energy, as a mere fuel for our reality wherein all that we are constantly fueling is a system of control. This proves that we have been biting our own tail as in consuming ourselves while trying to maintain ‘our lives’ within a system that promotes money as power over life, while it is in fact this fallacy what must be understood as a general acceptance and allowance that has become the very killing-machine that we are all running-as within our very own physical body every single moment that we allow experience to dictate ‘who are’ instead of the physical common sense of all being equally responsible for this world = all having equal ability to stand as the solution.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame politicians, social institutions and any other association with a large budget with the ability to create a change in this world, and believing that “they” are the only ones responsible for the current crisis and problems in the world, without seeing that I accepted and allowed such system to continue ‘as is’ because I saw myself as ‘handcuffed’ and not being able to do ‘anything about it,’ because of thinking that their money makes them ‘more’ and in that, separating myself from who I am as a human being of flesh and bones that is equal to those people who have only used the laws and system to their advantage, which implies that I first had to abdicate my responsibility to allow such system of control to exist in the first place.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear control and condemn control, without even understanding what could have happened if our ‘true nature’ – as Evil and absolute negligence toward life – was left ‘unbound’ and without any form of control, which would be certainly a lot worse than it is today, because such inherent nature of selfishness and survivalism is an embedded-aspect of ourselves, regardless of ‘capitalism’ as the point to blame, because the barbaric nature of our being was NOT the result of capitalism, was NOT the result of money –

 

Money, capitalism and the current state of control is but an Outflow of the inherent nature that was born with/as ourselves from the very moment that we emerged as individuals in this existence.

 

This is the type of history that must be taught in our schools, we have been oblivious to it for our entire existence. And, not being willing to Hear while having the means to do so, is a deliberate act of spitefulness, because it is our responsibility to restore the primordial state of Equality and Oneness as Life,  as it had never ever existed before in our reality. This means that our current crisis/ world problems are but the outflows and manifested consequence of an existential accumulation of separation, disregard of one another, wherein we are only willing to point fingers at some equally manufactured ‘controllers’ and ‘people in power’ that in fact were also oblivious to the role they represented as an outflow of us having separated ourselves from each others as life, and in that, becoming just parts that continue the friction and war within  the system of abuse in the name of our personal benefit, in the name of our experience, our ‘life’ based on life’s substance abuse.

 

I commit myself to expose how we tend to only judge the outflows of a system that we have all been equal participants in, wherein judging another for their decisions implies that I am deliberately ignoring my own acceptances and allowances as ‘choices’ made in and of Self-Interest.

 

I commit myself to walk my own process of stopping any form of desire to vindicate my apparent victim-state in a world where I had accepted and allowed myself to see me as ‘inferior’ to the system, as ‘inferior’ to those in power, which implies that I gave then my full permission to not be equally-standing as the responsibility toward the creation of a world-system based on money, where money has not been equated to life, but to an illusion of power over others, which can only be made REAL through Actual Abuse upon life itself.

 

I commit myself to create a world-system based on Life in Equality, of which the starting point is here as myself when I allow myself to stand equal-as-one as ‘those in power’ and realize that the only power that exists for all beings is equally here as breath, and that through debunking the fallacy and illusion of the money as make-believe power, we can get to an equal starting point to realize what is really life, what’s really living once that Money as the illusion that we created to control and separate ourselves is no longer the obstacle between ourselves as life, one and equal.

 

I equalize myself as all perceived ‘external powers’ and realize that all the power that I exist as – along with any other human being- is here as breath where I make sure that all my actions, words and deeds indicate that I am in fact LIVING and not only blaming others for that which I have accepted and allowed to exist in myself as well.

I realize that I will have to work with every being in this world to create an actual change, that includes the Elite – therefore I stop all self-limitations and states of victimizations to instead, be the point of support that can reveal, show and explain how we can only continue living and existing if All is Equally considered in this world. Otherwise, the remaining ‘elite’ will only crash and die without the people that currently ‘do the work’ if they end up with no money, no food as well. We are all equally ‘chained’ here and unless we learn to coexist: we will all die.

 

For further discussions: Equal Money System – vote on the proposals, comment and engage in the ongoing discussions.

 

For individual self-support to understand how we have abdicated our own power and given-into a system of ‘control’ as a reflection of our inability to be self-responsible: Desteni, Desteni I Process and the Forum.

 

 

 

Education about the Money System as the outflow of our inherent ‘nature’

 

Philanthropists and the Reality of this world: The truth that won’t be heard within their lifetimes.

 

FREE Downloads at Eqafe:

And a great song that places our feet together to realize our responsibility exists as a Life Collective:

Blogs:


2012 Death in every breath until life is all that remains

 

Realizing how we have suppressed and caged life within and by our own minds, creating the entire reality as that suppression of life, as the control of life in order to remain easily numbed by the perception of having to ‘attain’ something in separation of ourselves, while missing out the whole that is here as self.

 

This process is the realization of that ability we have to create ourselves and must not be taken lightly – I can only share it and if one is willing to live it, one will hear and walk along.


The world is divided and conquered within tagging on our ‘personal lifestyle’ – so the way to go is equalizing our lifestyle and world into equality. Words are the key here – one single sentence as one single rhyme that points out we have created this mess and lies, and that there’s no time to rest. We perceived we lost the key, while the key has been always here, beneath our eyes and above our mouths – breathing, living, realizing ourselves as the physical living flesh that has been tampered with our mind maze.

 

The consequences of our own imprisonment cannot be taken lightly as it is with this light that we have shaded reality; love and light we used as misleading words into an illusion of grandeur, a bubble of ethereal self interest that never considered that this physical reality is as real as us having to eat in order to continue living in.

 

Be that point of change you want to see in your world – you’ve got the common sense, so why keeping it to yourself? Dare to create a shift within yourself as who knows if there will be a ‘next’ time for that –

 

Stand as the sound that enables self-realization and gets to the ears the ones that are willing to Hear, to be Here, stopping spreading the ‘vibes’ that promote vile-ends within rhymes that forget that the one we oppose can only be myself within this ‘role’ of playing games to satisfy the lies that have kept sterilized from common sense, within the belief that we could only be ‘free’ with all the money and fueling each other’s greed.

 

Choose life – stop battling and self-loathing in a world wherein war is the ever presence in the back of our own heads.

Reflecting decay at all time – what have we accepted caged Life with? Some ideas as roles that oppose each other, that can love and hate and praise and loath from one blink of an eye to the next – is that what life is actually about? 

 

Our words are a self-supportive mirror that we can share in order to learn how to use words as self-support, not as carriers of the same old songs that delivered no actual support to this world that we built with every single word, that we mostly spoke out of scorn – never realizing that it was only self-here – the whole is the whole and there is nothing to be empty of. 

 

Standing up for Life  is not to fight, oppose or defend, it is about becoming aware that in order for us to live we have to take on every word, deed and thought we have powered within and by ourselves – and thus breath by breath we start to see that all that exists as life is me.

Ask yourself: what’s the substance that is moving me at the moment to exist? What drives me to create? Who am I within this point of expression? Is there a way that I can express this common sense within this expression that I create as myself ? If there is any fear of loss, you can know there is a limitation based on preserving an ‘idea’ of who we are – not yet realizing who self is as one and equal here and cannot be bent.

Reinventing is allowing ourselves to live and die in every moment of breath – daring to step into the unknown here as the integration of all missed bits of self here (life) and slowly but surely stop and leave the old behind (death.) Afterwards, only that which is real will remain: self-as-life here equal-and-one.

 
Applying this to everything we do and what will we get? 

Death of that self-protected idea of self as the necessary step for life to emerge – we are the only ones that built up the cage. Delivering the message of self responsibility is and must be a living extension if self realization is lived here, in every breath as self willing self to live  – self-expression that emerges as words that we have all longed to hear and live, yet never dared to figure out that: we are able to live them  if we simply stop and forgive ourselves to see that the the reconciliation is only one breath away.

That’s how it’s fascinating that everything I do/ say and think creates myself and my own experience in this reality, what a perfect way to trap yet support ourselves to inevitably be starring at ourselves the whole time, to not be able to break the mirror in a mind-blasting scene, but having to inevitably face it and live the correction until the reflection that I see is no longer an idea bound to ideas, judgments, fears, perceptions of and as a defined image of the mind – We are able to stand as self equal and one here, wherein the reflection is no more, because the mirror will hold no reflection any longer.

Once there is no image to correct – we’ll know there are no more definitions left, as self here would have pieced the puzzle back together again.

 

We have this lifetime to realize that: every moment counts, every breath is the opportunity to liberate the life that we have caged in all the bits of limitation that we created of ourselves as our mind. The mind is not the enemy, it is the perfect mirror to trap ourselves within an inevitable reflection of which we have all the tools to equalize ourselves to.

Who we are here requires no praise and no worship, no belief – who we are here is self-evident and the points to correct begin within ourselves, and emerge from the layers of self deceit, if we are self-honest enough to dare and see.

If you equalize yourself as the words you speak, people that can hear, will hear. Words are the carriers of the message, we become and stand as the voices that stir the wheel.

Jesus said  ‘love thy neighbor as thyself’ – ‘give to another what you would like to receive’ –  his message was ridiculed, opposed and later on turned into a 2000 + year old empire that stands against the basic message that he left. It is suggested to not become part of the ones that ridiculed life as you can only be mining out on creating your own destiny and ability to live.

We are the ‘second coming’ that is here as all of us, to finally birth life as the physical.  Ask yourself:
Do I want to live or do I want to die? That’s the question we all have to ask ourselves in every moment of breath here.

Let this not be words that come and go as the ebb and flow that our mind tends to only be stirred up with, but become the one that stirs the wheel in the only certain outcome that will remain in this world and reality: life in reality as what’s best for all in all ways, self here.

Breathing ourselves here

 

Reptilians – The Death and Rebirth of Self – Part 12


2012 Dreamcatchers: Who Imagined this Fuckup?

 

“Be willing to dream, and imagine yourself becoming all that you wish to be. Keep in mind the basic axiom — all that now exists was once imagined. It follows then that what you want to exist for you in the future must now be imagined.”

Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

 

“all that now exists was once imagined.”

This can only lead us to ponder the nature of the accepted and allowed mind that could go to the extent of imagining a world in poverty, starvation, war, rape, crime, animal abuse, violence, genocides, political and economical enslavement affecting the lives of billions of beings that are currently pending from one string to remain alive. Is our imagination something that we could be proud of?

Have you ever pondered how ‘comfortable’ it is to sit within our minds and ‘fly away’ into an alternate reality for a moment, only having to snap back to reality wherein the landing is often rather bumpy – why? Because in our imagination we ‘take the wheel’ whereas in reality, we have allowed ourselves to be driven by our own thoughts wherein we believe that: what we think, we can manifest. Is it really so, Mr. Dyer?

 

That ‘mind’ has been ourselves all the way: we created everything that is here, as it is, and within the current aberrant conditions we’re living in, we care realize that we manifested a fuckup as our reality that we have now covered up with a thick layer of glossy and sticky statements like Dr. Dyer’s quote above– how fluffy and nice! ‘Be willing to dream!’ I mean, as if it wasn’t known that sleeping is one of the most common methods to suppress our experiences and avoid facing our reality which is, yes, not a nice cotton-candy reality wherein we can all enjoy ourselves – however: we created it!

 

This reality has become the polarity opposite of our ‘wildest dreams and imagination’ wherein everyone is fearing each other, living only to get the next paycheck and seeking to fulfill the inner-experience with relationships that are mostly adding on to the self abuse in this world. Is this what We Imagined? or rephrasing: How come our imagination never fit the actual reality wherein any super-happiness and ultimate bliss-dream cannot possibly be fulfilled as a reality for ALL Beings? Of course, if Dr. Dyer speaks to the rich and famous that can follow the dreams through playing the game in the system, then there’s an obvious counter productive and abusive side to sustain such ‘charming’ words. Having such ‘bliss’ can only happen at the expense of others, and this is the single acceptance that reveals our ‘true nature’ within the ability to only imagine and fool-fill ourselves with unrealistic panoramas that are mostly keeping everyone busy making money to hypothetically make them their reality. That took quite some nitty-gritty scheming that we are all participants of as this entire system.

 

It’s a usual selling-grip to instigate human’s gullibility to buy that which sounds like honey to your ears – I mean, who on Earth wants to hear about Self-Responsibility and Self-Honesty and creating a world that is best for all through actual work? Not many, unfortunately – however what Mr. Dyer is missing is that: life cannot be neglected, denied, suppressed or even cheated through magic games like ‘imagining your best possible scenario and it will manifest!’

 

How predictable have we become to literally buy-into such glorious effortless quotes, that add fuel to an already fucked up Idea that living is about accumulating stuff that can define ‘who you are’ or ‘having all the money in the world’ or getting the ‘person of your dreams,’ which is certainly – proven 100% here by the writer of these words – Not what you ever expected it all to be. The fame and glamour that  you believe you want to get eventually becomes a nightmare for many – not even in having it all would you be able to sort out your inner-conflict that is most likely Not solved with money.

 

Bottom line is: when imagination meets reality you can either stop fueling these mindsturbations by daring to be Self-Honest and realistic about the current situation we’re living in and facing within this world – or you can decide to continue mind-fucking yourself which implies not only doing it to yourself, but dragging more along, such as what Mr. Dyer is doing within peddling such statements that are Not in any way whatsoever supportive for humanity.

 

How easy it is to sell dreams.

 

Dare to be Self Honest, Dare to see that his world is NOT here for our personal-fulfillment while having some actually slaving their time away while barely having anything to eat, just to make ‘your wishes and dreams come true.’

 

Who’s been the abuser and evil in this world all along?

 

Time to take Self Responsibility and dare to actually LIVE – it won’t be as easy as wishing or hoping without realizing that we can actually – instead of hoping and wishing –create a reality that is tangibly physically best for ALL LIVING BEINGS.

If you seek to ‘dream’ and ‘imagine’ just because your life is apparently ‘sad and miserable,’ read the following quote and see that reality is not about mansions, ‘beautiful men/ women,’ wine racks, boats and personal gurus that massage your ears with words that temporarily satiate your ever quenching ego as the mind – reality is something that our human experience cannot even grasp at this stage. Will you Dare to be Real or do you fear losing your ability to imagine and dream?

 

 

“To feel sad implies there is something lost or that can be lost – nothing real can ever be lost – Humans are not real –their bodies are real and will remain and return to earth when the opportunity of equality is recalled suddenly in a breath — when there are no more humans left and only life remain in various forms – you will not miss the illusion as it would never fit in with reality.” – Bernard Poolman

 

In the end: all that was mind-created will simply NOT exist as it was never real in the first place.

Featured Blogs:

Interviews:

Eqafe recommendation to Learn from those that faced the consequences of having ‘followed their dreams’

How I was able to Hear Desteni?

This wasn’t planned at all, but on a day like today January 29th but in 2008 I stumbled upon my second Desteni video which I got to finally watch. I was alone at night in my apartment and ready to get back to school in the following days, while continuing a process of being longing for a change in my life in a desperate manner.

The months before Desteni – and my entire lifetime if I could say so – I searched for answers that I could not get in encyclopedias or my dictionary. I sought into the occult and mystic realms another form of ‘knowledge’ that could make any sense to all of this ‘life’ of mine of which I was losing my ground on. I was absolutely enthralled with spirituality, the idea of ‘God’ being everywhere, us being god, being one, seeking love, wanting to ‘feel love’ and within this getting quite a burnt perspective on reality which lead me to follow certain ideas/ beliefs of myself having this benevolent mission in life that I had to seek ‘guidance’ for in order to ‘fulfill’ it.

At that time I was questioning myself extensively. I would write about losing the ‘meaning’ of who I am and how I had to go back to memories to remind myself ‘who I was,’ yet at the same time not believing that all I was is this ‘so-called lifetime’ as I wrote. I had been interested in how everything develops/ works as a process in life and this curiosity is what lead me to research on various topics like religions, philosophy, mysticism which included alchemy, magic, esotericism, kabbalah, Sufism and the list goes on with various ‘isms.’ I mean, I tried to get a hold of each thing to see what ‘suited my interests.’ Now we know that religions are designed according to people’s minds and cultural lifestyles which now makes me realize how it is that I couldn’t ‘fully identify’ with any of them. I wanted to ‘make my own religion’ as a syncretism of all of which I could find ‘supportive’ from each one of these religions/philosophies/ practices/ cultures, etc.

I’ve been quite fond of writing and I had been doing it for 8 years by that time wherein I wrote “I know the writings and the essence of my thoughts are creations.” Yet all of this I would still link to the idea of ‘enlightenment’ which is essentially what I was seeking at the time. I also would feel like ‘death’ was around the corner – yep, it was the death of me as who I had believed myself all the time.

I’ll share my exact words on the first encounter with Desteni written out in the evening of January 29th, 2008:

“So I saw this girl from Desteni bringing Ian Xel Lungold who is the man that got me investigating about the Mayan Calendar. So I thank him, now I know what goes one a bit more. . I mean, it’s really tough when you truly think of it, but it is completely plausible as I’ve been in touch with such things since I was a little girl. I was brought up with the belief in spiritualism. Basically my whole life has been based in their beliefs.”

Then I describe several events that I used as a form of believing that spiritualism was real as in ‘real life events’ that supported me to believe in it. I proceeded to write hours later – I apologize for the sketchy and jumpy type of enunciation, but I was mostly on weed all the time and I would write in a rather messy way, yet I wanted to share it as ‘raw’ as it is, this is to clarify that the words might not be well suited to describe ‘Desteni’ yet it was how I grasped it at the time.

“It’s 11:05 and I come here only to make or point out the fact/ statement that a whole dimension of who I was has been completely/ almost shattered today. Something beyond here and there changed my mind. So the channel (portal) can be applied to Einstein, Tesla, Marilyn Monroe, Dimebag Darrel I mean, everyone. So there goes this manifestation… It is beyond all schemes, I couldn’t have (illegible ‘thought this’) not even in my wildest dreams. But seeing Kurt Cobain speaking through a blond woman makes you wonder how you really haven’t (illegible) on stuff, even more when we’ve certainly felt like I didn’t belong here. The idea of good and evil dissolving, I hadn’t thought about the idea of god and it makes me wonder. We are our words and I allow myself to forgive myself for ALL and for it ALL. Each pinch of doubt, fear, insecurity might come from my pre-installed system as it feels odd to be coming out of the end. […] So it’s been a long, long day filled with truly, this time TRULY unexpected information, therefore I’m grateful and I’ll try to begin acting as one, being honest with myself as the very chains of reality, this shadow world comes to a transformation from the core. I want to assist that change.

I’ll try to watch them all (videos.) Lots of good vibes. I thank everything until now for I am indeed now aware of my own nature”

And that was the entry for the day. The real ‘shift came through the writings two days after I spent all my time watching videos while having the last days of vacation from school.

The following pages contain very ‘powerful’ realizations that I would like to share here in a summed-up version of entire pages wherein I expressed how excited I was and all that I was ‘ready to give up’ for this process. I’m even a bit flabbergasted myself to see how immediate my decision was to HEAR – and this is all mostly because of seeing the common sense in having to be the ones that cut the chains of our own shackles in this world.  I’ll transcribe a bit here:

“It’s the last day of the first month. It could officially mean that it’s the end of my vacation time and all I can realize is that all my life could be thrown out the window right now because my belief systems have fell and with it, many things I became a part of. I saw each system demon come in and talk about polarities, beauty, addictions, god, trinity, everyone, everything. And this made me ‘feel better’ like I have a solution to the possible outcome of it all. I heard LaVey saying who he’s is/was a demon and he’s in the dimensions observing how humans go to heaven, their heaven once they die.

So me and that LSD experience. I won’t ever do that again as I must realize what I saw was still the product of our mind. I am really curious about Gurdjieff and his afterlife. He says he was erased from Earth because he realized true awareness of ‘I am.’

So really, it is a BIG change for I now know my thoughts, feelings, emotions are part of the system I am. This isn’t really me, we’re covered in bags of skin with huge egos while thinking about success and happiness in the system. I don’t know what I’ll become or what will actually happen after this whole breakthrough. I really feel I want to quit it ALL. I mean it. So, words are me.

Really this is the end of our world as we know it, really. What will come is our Self Realization through the destruction of our systems/demons and I feel think 2012 will be only a shifting time for all of us to save Mother Earth and become Aware, not saved as Jesus (through the Portal) said, but become aware that I don’t have to worship anyone […] Therefore I won’t be experiencing the unity as I thought. It’s good I’ve got a record since 2000 of my life, so now I will consider, re-consider it all…”

Feb 5th and my world was falling apart already within my relationship in terms of how I began sharing about Desteni with family and friends in a rather enthusiastic manner that didn’t suit their scheme of who I was/ what I was supposed to be. Here I share something of this day

“I’ll be like the temperance so I may have time to realize how we exist through relationships. It can’t make me sad anymore, it’s a fight against my own mind. That is judgment day, is here for me, it’s beginning. I do not believe in anything outside of myself anymore, no more religions, no more surrendering to a higher power. There’s no such God as we are god ourselves. All of us, we just have to realize it.

[…] The deal with it all now is becoming my words and it requires subjugation of our big egos towards unity and equality. Will that ever happen? All my beliefs on 2012 are awaiting (in relation to a final ‘end of the world as shared in previous blogs) In fact I like the idea, but what kind of seems torturing is the fact that there’s no solution, there’s no going out of it all forever.  […] It is fascinating I know I’m not alone, I’m not a stranger, I’ll rather try to burn my ego down to ashes and let the true me get out. I won’t hold on to things as I realize how everything is constantly moving. What’s real? I don’t know. And I’m glad I’m not into a relationship anymore.”

And now I remember how initial ‘doubts’ on Desteni were triggered by others in my world – though common sense was undeniable:

“What if Desteni is actually a conspiracy? Well I don’t feel so, it’s not nice to think that all the books I recently bought are nothing but fantasies either, yet they can be so. Music is a system, art, expression, feelings, so what the hell on earth can I do? I’m just waiting, TELL ME! I have no desire whatsoever and it might be really bad/ good whatever. Everyone… So I sometimes wonder… maybe I could be very useful on heaven here on Earth… I have not bought my life yet but I’ll be patient. I’m doing my effort and placing my endeavor towards – not what is called enlightenment – but the truth of our essence. There is nothing to be scared of but of ourselves. So here we go, that’s it. I will not think of anything but forgive myself and I walk for this is all I got now, somehow.

I will trust them this time for it makes complete sense to me. I want to thank Jack and everyone out there in the dimensions who are currently coming to us (through the portal) in a specific moment of our lives. We can’t deny this, we’re in this together, all of us so we might as well hurry, we are aware of this now. That’s why maybe we all felt our worlds crumbling down for some time now, we didn’t know the dimensions were actually struggling to take out all the white light system. So, we were enslaved, huh, who could tell? To me it isn’t much of a new thing because I’ve seen everyone and I know I feel their whatever they are feeling and I’ve always felt weird whenever a young kid approaches me to ask for money or anything. How odd really, we don’t have to ask more. I will continuously make my endeavor to stop the mind. To know who I really am and so, If we are all gods, we better make up to our own nature. Nothing is sacred anymore but all of it together. So that’s about it. This is the real change.

Then the ‘crisis/ breakdown’ came wherein I started digesting more and more of the material, yet it was a necessary process as we all walking this process know and have experienced at some point in our lives/ process.

“So today it wasn’t such a  great thing going back to school. I know it was going to be mad, I couldn’t really sleep that well, I kept wondering about many things and I had goose bumps, very intense ones so I hope today I find a reason for that. If there’s one, Maybe I’m going through a deep crisis indeed, I need help.

Self Honesty, using common sense. I got a message from Andrea at Desteni. I feel great I know and them, it’s great. It has helped me a lot.

My world is really falling apart, it consists of my beliefs, thoughts, that includes all the stuff I used to cling to. There are no more chakras, there will be no more reincarnation as Buddha (through the portal) wrote – so what happens then? So I’m guiding everyday towards equality and it’s hard considering life in this city which is hell. Art is even nonsense now.

Everything up to where we are now makes no sense. There’s no ‘white light’ anymore so we’re on our own. This will be a major shift, I might as well sell everything and go for a ride. But I enjoy myself here I am now. And I’m thankful for it all too. No matter what, I’ll be a ‘stop the mind freak’ if it’s necessary for me to be so. I’ll quit weed if it’s needed, I’ll do so. I believe I was like a heretic or something (in a past life belief), I believe I stood up for No God in other lives and now I returned for a while as a god conceiver, a ‘god seeking person,’ a mystic which is the ultimate enslavement by that of ‘surrendering to a higher power’ – God! I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to think of a higher power other than me. I am living my words so I make it happen. If I need to quit my friendship, I will only if required. I hear my blood streaming. So this is where we got to. It is now, the apocalypse (revelation) is here slowly but surely. The revealing. I am all, I am alive. My blood is pumping.”

The following days I continued describing all the series of realizations with regards to what and who I had become, I realized that I was fooling myself by using weed to ‘cope with the message’ and eventually stopped it, the same happened with my relationship as I saw for myself the deception it was and how it was not supporting myself to walk this process.

I found it cool to share these thoughts straight from my notebook as ‘who I was’ 4 years ago wherein I was waking up from a slumber filled with ‘positivism.’ Desteni became that final and initial point to a process of having sought for a ‘solution’ to this world and having sought for a ‘way out’ of my own ‘chains,’ I saw the common sense in having to become the solution in this world once that I realized there was no God. This proves that I had in fact deposited faith on some benevolent being eventually being able to ‘save us.’ Now I know that it is definitely not so and that we are here, walking our process of self-revelation as the realization of who and what we are as one and equal which is not nice or pretty and implies taking Self Responsibility: an actual understanding of How we have created this world and walk through the Manifested Consequences in/ as our world.

Common sense could not be denied and I walked a process of shedding off my beliefs and embraced the new way wherein Forgiving myself was the way to stop participating in delusions like god or having some form of ‘guidance’ above me to become this ‘enlightened being.’ It was very supportive to get messages from people at Desteni when I did ‘seek for help’ as I was going a bit crazy with all the material. It only lasted a couple of days but what I got really allowed me to settle down and assert myself to walk this.

I eventually walked through the entire breakdown of crying and thinking that I had ‘lost myself’ but it was only beginning to step out of my religion and realizing that I could not continue as the ‘me’ that I had lived as until then.

Now I’m here, I did finish school and I’m actually in that point again in my life where a cycle is about to end here and a new one will begin. I can’t believe it’s been 4 years already yet it is so and we continue walking here.

All I can say is to be patient with yourself if you’re beginning this process, takes time to walk through one’s mind as thoughts, feelings, emotions and the rest of our reality within writing and applying self forgiveness, we’re all still all walking it as well.  I see how the commitment to be part of this process of Equality and Oneness was almost an immediate decision, because I had sought to be part of a change that could give a ‘meaning’ to my life. I realized how I could make myself the point of my existence and within that, make of my life this instrument to transform and establish a system that supports all Life.

Desteni is the process to get to live in this world. It might have come in the ‘weird’ presentation of a portal with all of these fascinating messages that made all sense to me. Yet the process of walking it and applying it/ living it became that single ‘point’ in my world that I required to realize that I was in fact able to become that which I saw  ‘knew’ we were even if it was in the back of my head. I was able to finally get the ‘reality check’ that I required to see how deluding myself with god and spirituality had been in fact neglecting my reality. The breakdown that I described was precisely because of realizing how I had been living in a bubble of positive thinking while abuse, suffering and violence was everything that was creating and making of this world such a fucked up place, all of it beginning within our very own thoughts (!)

Witnessing that through documentaries and videos we would get on a daily basis by Bernard, allowed me to open my eyes to the reality I had neglected. This was probably one of the key points within my Desteni-process wherein I started looking outside of myself to a reality that required to be exposed and shared to see what we are accepting and allowing to exist in our world, our creation. And with that, create and stand as the necessary solution that we are now presenting and walking as the Equal Money System.

Some lines in those journal entries contained some lyrics by John Frusciante that I wrote and seemed appropriate for this point in my life:

My life goes blank
Life was never what you thought.
Life was never what you saw
The lights go out

I dared to turn off the light and face the reality of what I had become, I wrote that it was ‘painful’ but understood why I required to walk this process and committed myself to it fully.

I’m grateful as I’ll always be for being here, being able to share my story today after 4 years of walking this process, between hell and Earth and back again, facing the nitty gritty details of myself that I would sometimes get embarrassed to even expose to myself. All of it I’m able to Self Forgive and prepare myself to be the point that takes Self Responsibility, that does stand up to create the necessary system for all of us to live as equals.

If you want to read more about my process, check out the archives now available in this same blog in the year 2008.

We continue walking. Thanks for reading.

Watch the vlogs on this topic here:

2012 Walking with Desteni: Why I could Hear the Desteni Message – Part 1

2012 Walking with Desteni: Why I could Hear the Desteni Message – Part 2

First note when watching Desteni 2008

First notes while watching Desteni, January 30th 2008


Desteni and Equal Money–WTF?

This is a supportive read for anyone that may have second thoughts or still guessing what we’re all about.  It’s also meant to debunk some of the ubiquitous misinformation about us around the web. So here it is, coming from someone that has walked this process for almost 4 years and enjoying every single day that we walk together as this.

How can Desteni be linked to the Illuminati if we promote world Equality – which is the total opposite of what the so-called ‘elite’ stand for – how can a message of Self Honesty and Self Responsibility can be tweaked to then be something evil and detrimental to humanity? How is it that the current reality we live in which doesn’t make sense at all is still not even questioned by the majority?

What must exist in a human being to ignore common sense? To ignore the actual truth not as some fancy words but as the reality we live in which is able to be seen by everyone.

How could ‘shaving heads’ shock anyone more than having people using chemicals upon their heads to make their hair look in different colors? How can one or the other be any different as to any other style or modification – how come gathering around a table to eat and give each other products bought with overloaded credit cards isn’t viewed as cultish human behavior? How come praying to a god isn’t seen as potential delirium that may end up in absolute insanity? How is ‘believing in something greater’ that hasn’t ever shown up on Earth still held as something valuable in someone’s mind, while the world reveals that the current detrimental experience is the consequence of all human actions that haven’t been stopped, thus leading to an imminent destruction if not stopped and corrected right now.

How is talking to people from a dimensional existence talking through the portal, communicating absolute and irrefutable common sense seen as absolutely fantastic while we tend to hear and do what our own ‘voices in the head’ say which is often detrimental to ourselves and others and! No one else can see it/ them? How come that’s accepted and allowed as ‘who we are’ – how come we cannot expand our ability to conceive something beyond everything we’ve ever thought possible just because ‘it wasn’t taught in school’.

We’d like to have many people listening to the message of Equality as Life yes, loving thy neighbor as thyself not in the rosy type of way wherein you actually utter such words in some form of lightworking calamity, but actually work to create a world that’s best for all. Though it’s futile to have millions ‘following’ without grasping that such change won’t only come from voting for it, but it actually means vowing oneself to become a Self Responsible being, someone that cares for life, for each other, that cares to create a suitable environment for all involved in the same biosphere – that’s being one vote for world equality, less than that would only be following the herd of which the current political parties and churches are full of.

People seek to ‘believe in something’ or ‘someone’ to make a change for them = still delegating power. Some others do not want to ‘jump in the boat’ unless it’s got a well established foundation which in this current system translates to proper funds to ‘settle’ something, which proves that we are no illuminati or elite or any other super-power, otherwise we would already be making mind blowing movies and hiring artists to promote our solution.

We actually don’t have to convince anyone either. What we present is common sense and should be embraced as such, as part of Self-Realization and not just a nice-sounding proposal that may only bail us out of the current turmoil –No. Equal Money represents the way things should have always been but never was due to the inherent human nature that we’ve accepted as a ‘factor’ that determined the entire outcome and structure of the system we accepted and allowed and perceived as ‘unchangeable’, which is certainly Not in Equality and it’s NOT supporting any point of actual Self Realization.

We’re the average ‘Joes’ that have opened their eyes to common sense. We’ll require funds, a lot of funds to make this work and by publishing this as part of the realization of what it’ll take to change the world, we can see it is part of the points that have to be walked as a group. There is no hidden agenda as it’s simply realizing that everything moves in this world if there’s money in it and currently, we have to be in the system, work from within it to eventually create the solution so that all can step out of it equally.

We cannot use ‘world leaders’ for this as Equal Money may stand in their personal interests rooted in power and their pursue of greedy happiness.

The only point that we’re living right now as simile process to the one lived in the dimensions is linked to demons and how demons became the point of change in the dimensions. As above, so below and that’s how it should be done. We cannot magically make Equality be the living principle as it must be a self-realized ‘move’ so to speak, not only a program that is now implanted without any actual self realization of why we must walk through a process of self correction wherein we see and fully understand why Equality is the way to go in this world. Otherwise, we’d be prone to repeat this nonsense yet once again – we cannot afford doing this all over again.

The systems in this world run quite deep and are ingrained as the entirety of ourselves in all aspects, yet it is possible to stand as the point of change that we now see must be lived and conducted if we are up for creating a world that’s best for all. It would be deliberate spitefulness to not stand up for this solution once that we see the common sense in it, it would be like a double fuck up as it wouldn’t be coming from a point of being ignorant about the entire situation, but as something that is ‘already known’ yet not acted upon because of how ‘impossible’ it may seem like. In fact the way Equal Money is usually received is a cool indicator that we are on the right track as all revolutionary ideas are first ridiculed, then opposed only to be embraced at the end. So we’re in between the first two wherein more and more people are getting to expand the current narrow and limited ways of perceiving this reality wherein we can only create a change in the moment that we take on the challenge as ourselves. That way ‘change’ is who I am, self-correction, self responsibility, it is then not dependent on some pollutitian to expel an order to ‘change the world’, but I begin and walk it as myself.

What drove me to become part of Desteni and now the Equal Money System action team – lol – is because it makes complete sense. I didn’t have to think twice about it, it was immediate, it resonated with the entirety of what I had already seen and realized about this world. The money aspect was certainly something that I got to educate myself about as I was pretty much a money-detractor in terms of not wanting to do much with it, yet criticizing the system and everyone else within it. Ludicrous that I didn’t see myself as a part of it as well, but it doesn’t matter here, I’m already aware, directing and standing up for a solution so all past negligence has been self forgiven.

o
This will take time, yes – as the saying goes ‘Rome wasn’t built in one day’ and not that we want to build any mighty ego-driven cities, but it’ll take time to educate people about the principle – from parents to children – and then create the external change as a structure that will enable people to have more time to spend on education. It is definitely true that not many have a lot of spare time in their hands to research this as everyone is living in a fast-food mode, trying to make the most money to live in a decent way. Though to understand the basic principle we don’t require much time – it’s very clear and simple how all the Desteni material can be considered as various specific and detailed ways of explaining how giving to each other what we want for ourselves as the recognition of everyone and everything being equal as Life is the solution for this world. So we take self responsibility and create ourselves and the system as something that works for all equally.

o

o See, I don’t have a problem spending my lifetime dedicating myself to Desteni and the Equal Money System solution because it’s the only thing that makes sense in this world, it’s the only group of people that I’ve found on Earth that see things in a holistic and common sense way. We realize how fucked up this reality is and how it cannot possibly continue the same way. Any idea of us ‘doing something futile’ or running for an elusive ideal is simply part of the limitations and brainwashing we’ve accepted as humans to think ‘no change can be done, it’s impossible to do something about it’ which is reinforced by and within the current system to maintain people in the beloved submissive status quo. This is for the sake of keeping everyone fully subdued to a system that benefits from those that aspire to ‘someday’ obtain such powerful position that will lead them to the ever elusive ‘ultimate happiness and freedom’, while those in power have arranged the entire system so that there is never an actual possibility to get a hold of such pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Yes, it was never real.

Even if my mind goes haywire at times thinking about ‘changing the world’ I stop and realize that this is not about ‘changing the world’ as that would be a literal crazy idea, it’s about being the change I want to see in this world in common sense, becoming the living proof that it is possible to do so. For this I cannot say I’m ‘done’ at all, no way – we’re all walking this and day by day we realize and see for ourselves what is possible to do once we stand as a group that promotes what’s best for all through our own lives.

o Ultimately, this is not only for the sake of ‘Desteni’ or ‘Equal Money’ which are only but synonyms to living life in dignity for all, for actual freedom of expression and freedom to choose what we want to be and do once that we are part of a world where everyone will be having the same ability to choose. I have no problem if I spend my lifetime walking the implementation of it and only get to see one single stone placed as an ‘Equal World’ – there is nothing else I would rather be doing in my life, this process has become my life, it is my life, my everyday breathing as there is nothing that requires more attention than caring for the very world we live in, caring for the way other fellow living beings are going through their days in this same Earth. Stepping out of my bubble has been the healthiest thing I could’ve ever done and that’s how I am such a militant for life in Equality and this process of Self Honesty, because I’ve seen and realized how supportive life can be when you live, share, co-work and stand with beings that are in equal understanding of what’s best for all and join forces to make it a living reality.

o At last but not at least, I wouldn’t be able to be doing this alone, no way. I often speak as ‘we’ because I consider everyone standing as Desteni as part of myself that is opening eyes, as one voice that shares about what is required to do and conduct in this world, ‘what we do’ is who we are and I’m always grateful for having found Desteni, having found people that are daring to be real and it’s quite an honor to stand along with every one of them around the globe – even if it’s not in a ‘physical way’, we’re always here and working together.

o Being a Destonian, standing up for Life, supporting an Equal Money System – all are but tags and ways to proclaim: I am a human being that has opened eyes to the reality we’ve created in absolute negligence of life, now we see and take self responsibility doing what is required to be done to create a world that’s best for all.

o We have a single goal and we’re already walking the way to get there – protesting and rioting the streets creating more violence won’t do a thing. Therefore we simply continue focusing on a single life principle which is and will be the only outcome that can prevail in this world.


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