Tag Archives: validation

419. Devaluation of Self

It’s fascinating that when we operate in terms of ‘values’ and we value people according to who we perceive them to be – as their amount of studies, knowledge and information and generally known success in life, we sometimes create the notion of ‘famous people’ or people that could be generally perceived as ‘more important than’ or ‘superior’ to others that we have defined as ‘plain mortals’ so to speak. I noticed that this exists within me in the form of considering that some people who I would like to invite for discussions could be ‘too famous’ to actually want to be in a live discussion with me/us.

 

Louis Vuitton Morton

 

This came up as I was sharing with others about a particular person I would like to invite to a live online discussion and even if I know I am directing myself to propose it and actually eventually create it, I noticed a sharp pain on my right leg, quite on the surface but unusual though so I got to know from the person I was talking to how this relates to one’s foundation of support, and from some older notes, the flow of expression. So what came behind the proposal to interview this individual were also aspects of self-doubt in relation to how I have valued/perceived the person to be. So I realized how I tend to create these limitations based on how I have ‘valued’ a person according to their ‘accrued interest’ on knowledge and information and so how I see myself considering it would be ‘unreasonable’ or ‘unbelievable’ or ‘out of reach’ or ‘requiring something more than what I got’ to be able to actually approach another individual to discuss topics that we for sure have in common to discuss.  But then again, how/what has in fact placed such limitation? Myself based on the perception of these individuals being already interviewed by other media and ‘professional anchors’ so in this, I actually create my own limitation because I then look at the person not for the actual purpose of having a chat with them would be, which is a point that benefits everyone in fact, but I then first pull out a point of doubt of whether ‘we are up to the height’ required for it.

So in this particular practical considerations are required. For sure it would imply that I for example, have to ensure I read up to and continue educating myself to get more background on the person and their work so that I can have that same foundation for such conversation, that’s just practical stuff that I do anyways – so what changed? Well, the idea of ‘who’ the person is, so here we go!

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to consider person x as ‘way too unreachable for a chat’ considering that I have placed this person as an ‘important individual’ in their spheres of influence and within that ultimately believing that ‘they would not care/agree to have a chat with us’ without realizing that in this, I am in fact giving up or already going into defeat before even trying, so WTF?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consider that I would require something ‘more’ in order to be able to invite someone for a chat, such as greater production or more publicity or else, without realizing that what I/we do is what is possible at the moment and using the means that we have at our reach and as such the simplicity of it and the use of cost-less resources does not diminish the quality of the production as the conversation in itself – therefore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a predisposition in the belief that this individual will only accept an interview if it comes from some major media outlet, without realizing that in this I am already giving up to even actually going for it and making an invitation to the person – within this, my approach has to be equal and one as with every other person I invite and so,

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an experience of inferiority toward an individual that I consider ‘unreachable’ or ‘too famous’ or ‘too prestigious’ to be part of a conversation with me/us online – in this I realize that through this perception of the person being ‘more than’ I created my own limitation toward them and so creating an experience of uncertainty of myself in relation to how that conversation would develop – without realizing that this is all only my own mind patterns and experiences that I have created throughout time toward particular people that I have considered as ‘famous’ and ‘well known’ to be ‘out of reach’ people and me considering having a discussion with them something extravagant, meaning going ‘out of reason’ of what I would consider would be ‘suitable’ for me, which is all existent as a scheme of values that I’ve placed toward myself and others, which is unacceptable as the starting point of the whole thing is actually to promote and create a more equal society.

In this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually experience a tinge of fear of having a discussion with someone that I had previously somewhat antagonized and in this, I realized that my previous stance toward basically everyone that did not agree with how I saw solutions should be was that of rather continuous criticism, which obviously will lead us nowhere and so

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually fear that my previous criticism and mockery toward the movement that this person stands for comes back to me in the form of the person rejecting my invitation for a live discussion – in this I realize that the actual fear is that the person could use what I previously said against me and against this renewed effort to rather work together. I realize that in this I have to first forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to criticize an individual’s work and overall movement as a non-working solution, without realizing that yes we all make mistakes and what I have learned throughout these years is precisely to not create enemies, but rather be able to find a common ground and that’s my current stance. Therefore I hereby declare that I have forgiven myself for having created antagonism toward other individuals that didn’t ‘suit’ my perceptions and ideas and plans for what I define as ‘real change,’ and now that we are coming to a common ground, it seems possible that we can in fact then advocate for the same principle, which is cool and in this ultimately it’s about me being clear on where I stand in relation to this individual and the movement he stands for itself, wherein I am willing to accept my past perceptions and mistakes and so be willing to obviously start anew as this is what we all require to do in the world: to forgive ourselves for our assumptions and judgments made toward ourselves and others in order to start from scratch and building relationships that go beyond ego or ‘who’s right’ and ‘who’s wrong,’ but rather get to work together as equals.

Ultimately in all of this, I realize how my own perceptions, beliefs and past ‘trespasses’ could create a limitation in expanding toward working and contacting people that I consider are now aligning more and more with the solutions we also advocate – and so it is absolutely necessary to stop ourselves as ego from becoming an obstacle in the development that we can in fact carry out for the betterment not only of ‘ourselves’ as individuals, but for the causes that we actually stand for – this means: principle must always override any ego.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to impose a sense of ‘not being up to the height’ of another and believing that ‘the person would not want to discuss with me’ because of me not having a particular ‘popular’ stance or reputation or believing that I would require to have some sense of ‘official recognition’ in order to be able to invite certain individuals, as if there was like this ‘scale of values’ that one would have to gather in order to do so. I realize that this limitation is absolutely something built over my own perceptions toward people based on their knowledge, their information, their careers and professions, their relationships, their leadership positions and within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give more weight to knowledge, information, careers, relationships with what I have defined as ‘important people’ and within this create a limitation of ‘who I would be capable and able to establish a conversation with’ based on who I perceive them to be or what I would perceive they would think if a ‘regular person’ like me asks them for an interview.

In this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use terms like ‘being a regular person’ or a ‘mortal’ meaning a person that has no ‘laureate’ from the system or that has a specific recognition or validation at system level in relation to the topics I want to discuss, wherein I then create the usual trap of ‘not being qualified’ at the eyes of others, which is part of the problem we have co-created in our society wherein we believe that one is only ‘capable’ if you are given a ‘license’ as a permission and validation that you in fact ‘know’ about something, all part of the same system of credentials and values that exist and that yes, are required at the moment in the system – but this does not diminish someone’s ability and capacity to do the same or even more than what a person with a license has.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that others would only accept or consider me to be reliable if I had some sort of recognition ‘out in the system’ so that a person then would not reject an interview with me – and within this I forgive myself that I have actually accepted and allowed myself to assume what a person would ‘expect of me’ or the kind of ‘licenses’ they would expect me to have or the amount of knowledge that ‘they would want me to have’ in order to have a conversation with them, which is all, once again, speculation and ideas based on how I have seen for example the academic world operates in hierarchical levels wherein for example teachers and their apprentices are seen as ‘more than’ any other individual in the same institution.

This actually comes from my own experiences of imposing a superior value to people in academia in fact, people that I have considered as ‘too way up in the academic world’ and that I’ve perceived that everyone reveres to them, and that they are ‘not up for just any regular chat’ which I then realized it was false once that I got to know ‘important people’ that one would see on TV or in high academic circles and at the same time seeing them in their regular life just like any other ‘mortal’ therefore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to having carried this idea of some people being ‘holier than thou’ based on my perception of the person being ‘famous’ or ‘well known’ or having some kind of ‘important academic position’ or being ‘an artist’ or else, who are all the individuals that I placed as ‘more than myself’ including politicians of course and probably kings just because of the whole propaganda and brainwashing that is created based on the amount of ‘importance’ we believe we must give certain individuals and ‘feel’ different toward them as well, instead of realizing we are in fact equals and no amount of knowledge and information should make anyone ‘holier’ than another as it’s all based on mind values, on knowledge and information and yes, we are ultimately all made of flesh and bones and are all mortals in fact.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever learn from my family how to behave with ‘well known individuals’ and politics and people that I have considered as ‘rich’ and ‘very important people’ – apparently – that I kind of learned that I should revere in a way, and act even more service-like which is absolutely – excuse the word – fucked up. I realize that this comes from me witnessing how my family would revere to politicians whenever they would come to parties and kind of even change their stance to appear more service-like and ‘affable’ and ‘giving them the keys to their house’ so to speak, as if these individuals were ‘more’ than any other guest in the house. This comes of course from the imposition of value/power/authority and even ‘fame’ and recognition to particular individuals based on the position that they have in society for example – therefore

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I should get even ‘nervous’ or up to the expectation of having someone ‘popular’ or ‘famous’ or ‘well known’ talking with me because of imposing the same experiences that I got from witnessing my family and how they would behave with ‘important people’ like artists or politicians and within this, copy the exact same experience that I would perceive others would have around these people, which was that of excitement, nervousness and wanting everything to be ‘top notch’ FOR THEM, which is the whole ‘service-like’ attitude that I learned one ‘should have’ when dealing with someone that is considered famous, more important or – god, dare I say – more valuable than others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still see a person that is ‘well known’ through the eyes of knowledge and information, through the eyes of the mind wherein I see a person based on the amount of recognition, fame, perceived authority based on the position they occupy or else and within this forget about equality because I still place this veil of ‘importance’ over others, which is of course unacceptable as I realize that we are all in fact one and equal and that we have in fact consolidated and continued to accept the current status quo based on this mind-hierarchy that we act out almost ‘by default’ toward perceived important/famous people, which is unacceptable.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever see some of those ‘famous individuals’ as ‘more than myself’ and this comes from the time when I would approach any artist for example and request their autograph as a child and how excited I would get from these experiences, because I learned that people that were on TV then ‘were more famous than’ anyone else therefore associating value with ‘being on TV’ or any other ‘well known position,’ which implies immediately placing myself as ‘not up to that height’ so to speak – but really, all of these ideas of importance, height, prestige, fame, recognition are all values that I have associated with a ‘superiority’ instead of realizing that they are in fact words that denote the actual work and life experience as well as trajectory that an individual or group of individuals have crated throughout their life to get to certain positions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to add a positive and superiority value to the word ‘prestige’ wherein the fact that someone can be well known, respected and has achieved quite a lot in their life becomes an ‘added value’ in my perception and thus placing myself as ‘less than’ them based on such achievements, which I realize is a point of self-separation when one identifies oneself or another based on the amount of knowledge and information they have or ‘how’ other individuals perceive them, which is all seen through the mind’s eye.

 

Instead prestige is simply recognizing the well-known work and recognition of an individual’s life experience and contributions wherein their work  and their deeds speak by themselves and as such widespread recognition and respect is an outflow of their life, their work and contributions being supportive for others as well, which is definitely what we should all direct ourselves to aim at being and becoming in our lives, to leave our lifetime of supporting to create a world that is best for all, and so live self-respect, which means that someone’s work and recognition becomes their own life and what they say/do and act on, which is nothing more or nothing less than life, it is simply an example that we can learn from and so also see as the potential that exists within each one of us.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate the word ‘fame’ with an experience of superiority and ‘more than’ others comparison, instead of realizing that fame as being known or being excellent in something is not an ‘added value’ to another individual, but simply what they have achieved through their own direction and creation – whether it is for ‘good fame’ or ‘bad fame’ it is simply the general perception of ‘who another is’ based on their words and actions. Therefore, there is no need to add an experience to fame or who am I toward perceived ‘famous people’ because it is simply recognizing another’s life, trajectory, expertise and/or mastering in certain fields as yet another example of what we can do and become if we are equally diligent in the work and dedication to achieve something, which is a general trait that ‘famous people’ get to do, whether it is for constructive or destructive outcomes.

Of course the way to live fame a constructive type of fame is to become well known by one’s living example of being a solution to the world instead of a destructive role model for sure, so in that our own perceived ‘values’ over one another would have to veer toward valuing as in recognizing another individual as an example of our own potential based on how one lives by principles that recognize our equality and that consider at all times what is best for all.

Therefore, it is not to see these words of prestige, fame, recognition as a synonym of ‘superiority’ at all, but rather seeing them as the result and consolidation of their names as public figures based on the actual work they do, based on how they have contributed to the common good, which is ultimately someone that I can definitely say is respectable and for sure someone that should be recognized by all people for what they’ve done/ achieved in their lifetime. This is then the physical living and work talking for itself, which doesn’t make the person ‘more’ than another either, but simply realizing that yes they have done the actual work, they have done the actual walking of a particular point that took them to be in a certain position that they are in the world system.

 

 

 

It is interesting how even culturally we learn how to create a particular excitement or even fear when being around a particular ‘famous person,’ as if they were in fact having this ‘divine aura’ around them which doesn’t make sense as they are just humans too. Sure, one can have a particular fondness toward another individual but ultimately any person that does believe that they are ‘superior’ to others based on their fame, their work, their knowledge and information, their lifetime experience is in fact then acting from ego, and as such it is for sure their point to ultimately realize. But here, my point of self-responsibility is to ensure that I am not the one that is coming from/approaching another based on these value-systems that have led us to continue stratifying our society – this is unacceptable.

So, the corrective process is that when and as I see myself going into any slight refraction of a doubt when it comes to my ability and capability of approaching a person that I have defined as ‘important’ or ‘well known’ I make sure I identify what is it exactly that is creating the shift so that I can see what fear or what expectation came up that created such experience, and so I bring myself to the awareness that we are all human beings and there is no one ‘more than’ or ‘less than’ and so I should not place my mind’s eye as the ones to decide ‘who I am’ toward another or jumping into conclusions of ‘what the other people would ask of me’ but rather ensure that my decision to approach another is based on first of all, equality, support and the openness to dialogue and work together within the principle of what is best for all. I realize that I have to ensure that I do not use my past and my past experiences as a limitation toward approaching people or my fears/excitements or general ideas of ‘superior people’ as a veil for me to not act in common sense which means: being my own foundation and structure to give myself direction to do something based on the assessment of my ability and capability to do so.

In this, ‘who’ the other person is becomes irrelevant which means, my perception upon them is not to be used as a determining factor for it – this is about me assessing the benefit of such conversation, the potential supportive outcome of it that is best for all parts. Within this, is also necessary and quite valid to make a personal assessment of where I would require to sharpen up my studies and my review of information in order to be ‘up to date’ with what we could discuss in a conversation, but this does not mean that it’s also going to be some kind of ‘duel’ of knowledge and information either, because the starting point of this is precisely to share what each person gets to know of, understand and/or create as solutions that we can all share and learn from. Therefore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I would have to be at certain level of ‘knowledge and info’ to be ‘ready’ to talk with another, which in a way it does make sense to be prepared but not to the level of ‘wanting to know it all’ already, otherwise, what would be the point of having a conversation with another if not to learn more from each other and so strengthen ourselves equally.

 

I realize that this is also the influence of the current debate programs and interview TV shows wherein some of the interviewers challenge the person they interview sometimes to the point of ‘who knows more’ or ‘who can win’ which is the whole ‘debating’ aspect that is actually detrimental to the public watching because we then recreate the notion that someone has to be absolutely right and others absolutely wrong or dismissed – instead of realizing that a conversation with people that I have not so much previous contact with should be about having them share their perspectives, learn and take what’s best as well as learn how to listen to the points that I might not agree with, however by creating an antagonism only on that we create further rifts and problems where the actual common ground can be dismissed, which is not cool, not acceptable in a world wherein it’s easier to wage wars than creating dialogues to establish ‘peace’ so to speak.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive people that have written out books or published an exorbitant amount of words as ‘more than myself’ and within this, realizing that if the starting point is placing ‘who am I’ as an individual against another individual, ego will always create a barrier and prevent me from actually expanding and rather learning from others. In this thus, I realize that I have to ensure that my own limitations carried from the past ‘learned inferiority’ toward certain individuals doesn’t become an obstacle to me actually stretching out hands and creating contact with people that I had regarded as ‘more’ than myself, and to always realize that whenever I see anyone as ‘more than myself’ I become the very continuation of the problem I am  trying to resolve which is inequality, which is the continuation of hierarchical values and the notion of ‘power’ and superiority embedded onto something/someone above ‘the rest.’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have given up at ‘first try’ after contacting certain individuals, without realizing that my approach was still coming from this already ‘made up expectation’ of ‘they won’t accept/ they won’t even reply’ or else, which is then what happened and then became a form of ‘defeatism’ in terms of trying to approach certain individuals.

In this thus my sole responsibility is to ensure that I realize that it’s not ‘me’ that is asking for that interview, it’s about me as the principle and foundation I stand for and as with the purpose of learning from others, of sharing supportive outcomes for humanity that is asking for such interview – therefore I do not have to place myself as ‘my persona’ before me when doing my job which is to establish connections and communication with people no matter ‘who’ it is.

In this, I realize this is the point to apply, a practical equality toward people and stopping my mind’s view upon others based on ‘who’ I perceive they are, and instead I commit myself to focus on their words, their work, their visible and practical solutions and contributions to society, which is what I am interested as a person that represents an organization that stands for the principle of what is best for all life.  In this I have to also recognize myself and to not ‘devalue’ me based on the perceived ‘validations’ I would require to ‘make me/my words/what I stand for’ as ‘valid’ or ‘recognizable’ in the world system, as I realize that there is currently no such ‘validation’ and due importance given to the consideration and realization of life in equality, of supporting one another, of truly working together for best for all outcomes and so , how can I expect me/us to have such ‘recognition’ in a world that recognizes and places fame on the exact opposite?

There’s no visible honoring toward life yet so we have to build it from scratch so I commit myself to stop expecting some form of ‘validation’ or ‘recognition’ or ‘credits’ in order to give further steps of expansion within myself and my process of communicating with others – and instead rather recognize that it is our own work, our own consistency and dedication that which makes us valuable as the principles that we stand and live by – ultimately that’s just the value of life for life and that’s rather what I decide to dedicate myself to honor, to honor life not world-system credentials and ‘values’ placed in separation of who we really are as equals, which is also what’s worth while supporting and sharing with others.

 

I commit myself to imposing money-talk to others too wherein I value others based on ideas related to energy and money, which is not who we really are and so I rather develop a communication based on living principles where equality stands as our undeniable common ground to work on.

 

All Life Is Equal

 

Read people recognizing Life in Equality in the 7 Year Journey to Life blogs

 

The Free Desteni I Process Lite course is a first platform of self-support to learn more about ourselves, our mind and understand how we can practically improve our potentials and skills.

 

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411. Do Good and Evil Really Exist?

We tend to want to hold on to the idea of ourselves being ‘good people’ or there being really ‘good people’ out there without questioning what the origin or starting point of such goodness exists.  With this it’s not to imply that there’s no ‘good’ at all but certainly it is a cool point to investigate all the aspects that one has defined as ‘good’ within oneself and simply check the starting point for it: am I genuinely being assistive and supportive toward others because I see that it makes sense to support and assist others the way I would want to be assisted by other individuals as well and so make it the principles by which we all coexist in  – OR am I doing it for the sake of how others will see me, how I believe I can be rewarded for ‘being good’ or ‘doing good’ and using it as a form of ‘good credit’ for oneself in relation to others.

First point to realize here is that we can all change the starting point of what we have defined as ‘good’ based on that which is beneficial and supportive to ourselves and one another. Maybe we just haven’t yet considered how certain acts of kindness, generosity or wanting to be a good person/ ‘being a good person’ can in fact be a counter act/ a clean-up/contrition act from past experiences that could have been the exact opposite to everything perceived as good or benevolent, such as having been very selfish, authoritarian, careless toward others and so one then feels like ‘we have to make up for it all’ through becoming the opposite polarity as a ‘good person.’ In this we have the absolute ability to decide we want to change this because we see that doing ‘bad’/harmful and abusive things to oneself and others is not the way to go, and so one makes the decision to change and commits oneself to practically live it – but! If after realizing one is actually using the ‘bad/evil’ as a memory or starting point to ‘do good’ and we only go to the opposite polarity as in now wanting to do good and be good and almost push it so much in an expectation to gain ‘the grace of god’ so to speak as in seeking to feel good/positively within oneself for ‘cleaning one’s acts’ with ‘good/positive deeds’ or for example to be seen with ‘good eyes’ by others/ get the approval from others or be recognized as a form of good-doer or any other ‘high moral standard’ we may have within ourselves – such as the driving force behind altruism and charitable acts – then the starting point is rather misaligned and further destructive than constructive.

 

Why? Because doing ‘good’ based on the cleaning-up act for the ‘evil/bad’ past is merely believing that the answer is doing the opposite. What I’ve realized in this process is that merely opting for ‘the opposite’ is not a suggested way to go because in this we recreate the pattern of the ‘good’ vs. the ‘bad’ or evil – which is a definition, a charged experience toward something that could be simply supportive/non supportive. What usually happens is that one creates one’s own trap within the good vs. bad morality polarity enslavement which is the foundation of, for example, the church/religious systems that play on in this good vs. evil principle to manipulate people to ‘do good’ based on fearing being punished for ‘all the bad.’  The same is ingrained in a secular person that perceives the law/government as the authority in a society and so, that person will still ‘do good’ based on fearing to be punished/standing in bad credit against law/government/financial systems or any other authority as well as peers in society as well. So here we become subject to our own constructs, to our own punishment-reward mentality to which we give a negative and positive value respectively where we then either feel good or bad about something, instead of rather asking oneself: well, am I being supportive to myself and others? am I considering living principles in my thoughts, words and deeds as a principle of who I decide to be?  OR am I only acting in either a ‘good’ manner to get an energy fix from it, to get acceptance, validation, recognition and better living positions in many occasions where ‘doing good’ is linked to being rewarded for it in an economic manner as well? One can then ponder: is there any genuine ‘good’ then or are we only acting out on either looking for a ‘good feeling’/positive experience within ourselves or escaping from/making up for past ‘bad’/evil deeds that one felt ‘bad’ about and wanting to ‘do good’ now to not FEEL or hide within self all the perceived evil/bad without first understanding it?

Here the first point I suggest considering is that a process of self change involves realizing and understanding that one will not ‘feel good’ as in having to create a positive experience every time you simply decide to correct/align yourself to the best possible supportive and sustainable outcome.  It is to realize that deciding to change oneself, to be self-supportive toward oneself and others is not in itself a ‘good’ deed that stands in contrast to doing ‘bad’ because in that, even by considering the solution to be ‘positive’ we re-create and trap ourselves again in the good vs. bad mentality/mind construct which is how we then believe that if we do ‘good’ = we can FEEL great/good/superior/better etc. and feel like being at the top of the world with all this glory – which is an energetic experience. Here we can consider some physical laws: what goes up must go down and so we perceive that the ‘down’ experience is negative, while it is only getting down from the ride way up high.

To prevent this up and ride experience between the ‘good vs. bad/evil’ and the experiences one gets through them is to then focus on realizing that doing what is best for all is not something that one should create a ‘good experience’ about, or that it should be rewarded, receive recognition or get some sense of validation for now being a ‘good person’ and doing ‘good deeds’ – nope. It is to realize that what one is doing in this decision to change one’s destructive/harmful/abusive acts is simply directing oneself to live in an alignment with how things/life/our minds should have always work: considering what is best for all, assessing one’s participation in thought word and deed in every moment within oneself and toward others/the environment so that we ensure that every single moment we are aligning to these principles and within doing so, we integrate this reference as the new human nature we want to become and see in this world – it implies simply aligning ourselves to how things should have always been which is not less or more than what currently exists, we don’t have coin sluts to gain value for doing good or get some kind of physical body or substance extraction for doing ‘bad’ things either…

Within this then one removes the ‘charges’ to any positive or negative value to the perceived ‘good’ and the perceived ‘bad’ and so be able to understand bad/evil as the reverse of life, as a mistaken road one took that requires to be corrected/realigned so that it can be functional/supportive with what is best for all by walking a process of self-directive correction. This then prevents the whole ‘fallen’ experience, the guilt trip-traps and the whole mentality that one is ‘done’ or ‘never will get it right’ as we all tend to give up so easily in our minds when believing that we are just evil and have no remedy – which is also another self-victimization pattern to not actually take the time, effort and dedication that it takes to change oneself, which is mostly a decision to let go of the energy high linked to doing good and the guilt/bad experience when doing all the perceived ‘bad.’

With this also comes the necessary realization that: we’ve never dedicated our lives to direct this realignment to how we should have always ‘functioned’ in our minds and in our world – if things were just ‘fine’ in this world and anything had really been genuinely ‘good’ or ‘supportive’ we would not be seeking to change ourselves and this world all over, as we would be living such change as a new living principle for ourselves as humanity = this hasn’t happened and that’s why we have to realize that it is a process, it takes active participation and self-awareness in every moment we are alive to be continually living/applying this re-direction within oneself to in every moment assess one’s words, thoughts deeds to create/contribute to the change we see is beneficial for oneself and all parts in an equally supportive manner – that can also be understood as no harm, no abuse toward oneself and others – and instead doing what is constructive, supportive for oneself and others who are also ‘ourselves’ in fact.

Therefore one can also be more aware next time when we perceive that one wants to hold onto this ‘goodness’ within self or the perceived ‘goodness’ in others and Really investigate what such ‘good’ consists of, why we perceive it as ‘good’, what is the starting point of such thing we perceive as good and so consider the following: because our minds and this entire world system was built within the foundation of a non-supportive/abusive and non-equal basis, we cannot genuinely expect a supportive principle to exist as a general ‘trait’ or inherent property/inherent nature of human beings, of who we are as the mind – including the way that we have built this world system based on our own mind-constructs where it is evident it is not benefiting everyone the way it should –which is why I suggest to re-evaluate whenever one perceives someone to be ‘naturally good’ and get to know how such person ‘became’ a good person and what their story is. From that we can also learn why we tend to hold on to ‘the good’ so much and fear the evil/bad.

Having said this, it is more to realize that the construct of morality as the polarity of ‘good vs. evil’ is a definition, a construction we create in order to trap ourselves in the problem without focusing on the practical solutions required to align our thoughts, words and deeds to a supportive outcome. The potential to go ‘either way’ exists within each one of us in every moment that we are living here, which is why I see it as important to share some practical ways to rather use the morality construct as another tool of self-assessment to see ‘who am I’ toward the good vs. evil mentality.

 

One can then use the words ‘good’ and ‘bad’ in the following constructive manner:

–  If I perceive a ‘good’ aspect within me, something I’ve defined as ‘good’ within myself (or others) then I have to ask myself: what is motivating me to do/think this which I’ve defined as good? What is my starting point? Am I expecting something in return to this? Am I wanting to be seen as a good person by others? What experience as a feeling do I get when I believe myself to be good or am told by others that I am a ‘good person’? And so apply self-forgiveness for all the energy charges around these ‘good deeds/thoughts/experiences’ as all the positively-charged definitions so that what’s left is only the raw-living actions that are genuinely supportive, that are and can become part of one’s new natural/inherent expression of living by principles, by actions, by living words instead of being moved through/by energy all the time where we play the reward/punishment type of assessment or ‘equation’ in our minds based on energetic highs and lows, instead of just seeing the benefit for oneself and all if we think/say/act in a way that is best for all and vice versa if we don’t do/act/think based on what is best for all.

– If I observe some ‘bad’ aspect within me then I have to ask myself: why have I defined this as bad? Who, what and how am I affecting myself and others with these defined bad/evil thoughts, words and deeds? If I realize that I am genuinely harming or abusing myself and others then how can I correct/align this point that I’ve defined as bad? And so use this assessment to rather create a practical plan to correct and align in a directive manner this ‘bad/evil’ aspect within oneself to a supportive and constructive outcome. This is how then making mistakes or creating the perceived ‘fall’ is simply an opportunity to evaluate: ok where did I miss a point of direction, why we did that which we knew was not supportive or where did we miss a point of self-awareness where we acted upon past patterns, upon the ingrained non-supportive thoughts/deeds that lead us to a known path which is that of non-constructive/self-destructive choices and consequential outflows. We all then can constantly learn from our perceived ‘bad/evil’ mind construct while at the same time, applying self-forgiveness for acting out on such thoughts that are detrimental to oneself and others after which one can then make a firm assessment and decisive plan to support oneself to correct/align this point within oneself from here on as a Living Principle.

 

This is a way I can see one can go ‘shedding’ the moral construct of good vs. bad, to ensure there’s no positive or negative charge to either side but only assess the words said, the actions taken, the consequences that ensue and then see what is required to be changed to align it to living principles and what does one practically require to do to live this plan of corrective action. This is how the tools of writing, applying self-forgiveness and self-corrective application become our constant tools of self-investigation and our do-it-yourself evaluation foundation to get to know ourselves and for example investigate who am I within the ‘good’ and ‘bad’ construct, how does this exist within me and if such words still create an experience either positive or negative within myself.

 

There’s no point in wanting to hold on to something ‘good’ of which we don’t exactly yet know its origin and starting point of, and mostly I would actually suggest to practically doubt anything that’s apparently ‘good’ or ‘positive’ in nature as then we have to assess what motivates it, what ‘funds’ it ($), what are the interest behind it, is there any past ‘evil’ that’s being used as a starting point for oneself or others to do now ‘good’ as an energetic experience or ‘reward’ process in self-interest? And so we take off the mask of ourselves as our mind – which is in itself not at all ‘good’ or benevolent – and so rather learn how not to react to discovering self-honesty as in seeing what might be in fact a ‘real ugly truth’ of ourselves, which I could visualize like realizing one has a detuned guitar, or having a broken engine: we have to understand how we got them detuned/broken and so place our time, effort and knowledge in application to fix it = we do the same with ourselves and our minds/lives and so stop thinking within the ‘good vs. evil’ frame of mind and just consider practical reality.

 

For further reference:

Good vs Evil     Learn more about supporting yourself as your mind, how to deal with energy, one’s ego and how we can actively change ourselves here:


192. The Reasoning behind Procrastination

The end of the character – the beginning of new points.

Conclusions and new beginnings within the Procrastination Character

 

So, here is a consideration. Procrastination and various realizations were walked while working on this series of blogs – however I realize that it is useless unless I walk it, and that’s a general consideration with all of our writings within Self Forgiveness, that it is not a magic wand, it is actually getting to know the pattern in such detail that we can only continue fooling ourselves to Not live out the corrections we’ve specified here.

Another aspect I can see is how Self Forgiveness is not about now pumping our ‘spirits’ and creating a willingness to do so based on energy as a positive-attitude toward it, as that can eventually down-grade to the downhill experience toward it – thus I realize that every point of correction that I walk must be an actual integration of the correction as a habit, as a pattern that I can stand as without any ‘effort’ or ‘impetus’ stemming with an energetic surge to ‘do it’ which can downfall in the ‘not wanting to do it’ and within that, we could only get back to our drawing board to see, okay, what have I missed?

In my case, I’ve realized that there are Many points that opened up with this character, since it’s been virtually a progressive point that I left behind/ delbierately postponed in looking at the ‘postponement character’ as I’ve explained which entails that there is an aspect that I was Not willing to face within myself. And this is where I lead myself to, the character extraction of postponement/procrastination inevitably leads me to see what is it in fact that I am resisting to look at, what am I exactly doing to myself, why am I doing this even if I KNOW/ knew all the way that it is not what I had planned/ meant to do.

Now, looking into these aspects that I was not willing to open up is not a ‘piece of cake’ because

1. I was only thinking too much about it but not looking into myself and writing about it, applying self forgiveness and self corrective application to make sense of myself, which is the point that cannot be side-viewed when we see ourselves stepping into this wobbly ground wherein we Believe that we are ‘superior to our mind’ and we can just figure it out/ sort out the point in our minds without actually walking it/ writing it/ applying the corrections.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think too much about what I had to do without actually assisting and supporting me to write the point out and follow through it within a practical application of self-forgiveness, because I wanted to ‘sort it out’ myself within the belief that I could just ‘stop it’ in one moment and be through it without any further hesitation, which is an indication of ego trying to ‘sort it out in one go’ without realizing that the moment that a point has not been directed in a long time and it is still ‘here’ as a point that has not been moved, it requires immediate attention and direction in order to support myself, as I see and realize that trying to ‘make up my mind’ about it is really covering up/ disguising/ make-up excuses and justifications for not doing something and further procrastinating it. Thus

 

When and as I see myself thinking that I can easily ‘sort out’ a point within my mind, which has been going on for an extended period of time – I stop and I breathe – I flag point immediately this ‘brushing off’ attitude wherein I realize that I must take the point ‘by the horns’ so to speak, in order to not further grow the ‘calamity’ and as such, take he responsibility of my own inactions/ actions to investigate what is going on with me, why am I simply not directing myself effectively within one point in my reality, what are the thoughts, the experiences, the backchat behind it? As I see and realize that the more it s procrastinated the more it will be fueled by a negative experience toward it, eventually building it as a fortress that I will simply have to debunk/ deconstruct anyways as there is no-way I can escape from my responsibility, no matter what.

 

I commit myself to assist and support me to immediately look at a point that I’ve been deliberately ‘leaving around’ to no look at it/ not face the point, as I see and realize that this is just part of the resistances that I have to get to know how I created and why have I simply not looked into them, which is an indication of me having to look at myself and walk the necessary process of self correction without further procrastination.

 

2. I was trying to ‘make sense’ of my procrastination through a positive-perspective toward it, such as what I’ve explained within the previous points wherein I would place a positive-experience or deemed ‘positive task’ to do instead of doing this particular task/ project without comparing it to other tasks in my reality – within this,  not wanting to actually look at what was in fact the resistance to work on this document, what was it all about and how I could practically ‘do something about it’ which is obviously first: getting to know myself and the entire ‘case’ I made out of this project/ writing that I have to do and then actually walking the correction .

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and justify/ excuse and most importantly validate my procrastination based on having ‘other tasks to do’ that I have deemed as ‘more important’ and within this excuse, wanting to justify my deliberate neglect toward other tasks in my reality that I see and realize will ‘not go away’ and that I have to actually walk through them and direct myself to take responsibility for them.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to justify a resistance experienced toward writing based on having ‘better things to do’ and within this always making it ‘alright’ in my mind to not get to the task at hand, which is the easy-positive thinking that I would indulge in to always remain with a ‘positive score’ within me, even if I knew that I was not properly giving direction and directing myself toward all things that I have to do/ work on in my reality.

 

When and as I see myself wanting to validate, excuse and justify a point of procrastination with ‘better things to do/ more valuable things/ more important things in my reality’  – I stop and I breathe – I realize that this value-schemes are part of my own creation in order to relegate the task that is part of my professional career to a ‘second point’ in my reality, without considering that it is a priority and it is in fact as important as any other task that I have committed myself to within the principle of assisting and supporting myself within this process in my reality and within the network of support that we represent and are.

 

I commit myself to give myself direction in an equal basis/ manner to all points in my reality and within this, stopping the value-scheme toward tasks wherein there are no ‘less important’ tasks or ‘more important’ tasks – but remain equal and consistent within my application in all aspects of my reality.

 

3. I wasn’t willing to recognize that what is “natural” to us is all aspects that lead us to self-sabotage and always create a point of conflict to not be able to function properly in our lives, and this is just because of who we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become based on  the mind and trying to remain within a ‘winning situation’ at all times while no action is being taken upon All aspects of who we are within our reality – among other various variables that are yet to be explored.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and make sense to why I was procrastinating with excuses and validations as previously mentioned, without actually investigating what is it that is actually leading me to self-sabotage, what is it that I am in fact not looking at/ identifying within me to give myself proper direction within this point.

 

When and as I see myself facing a ‘wall’ within looking at the reason/ processing behind an aspect of my reality that I am not able to ‘pinpoint’ as to why I am not moving within it – I stop and I breathe – I first of all ask myself: what am I preventing me to see within myself that is leading me to deliberately sabotage myself and my decisions? And if there is no clear answer, then I assist and support myself with asking questions to others that are also walking this process as us Destonians are able to always give ourselves a perspective that we would have most likely not considered/ not being willing to look at, which is how within the dimension of self-support must at all times be considered in order to not just try and ‘figure it all out’ ourselves – as outlined in point number 1 – and instead, accept and allow the support that is available in gratefulness.

 

I commit myself to ask for support and assistance and allow myself to get further perspectives when facing a point that I cannot simply ‘make sense of’ by only writing about it and not really understanding ‘why’ we are doing things to ourselves, as we can be missing out an important aspect that we might not be looking at because of and due to the extent we have become the pattern in itself, which is how and why buddying/ assistance and support at Desteni is all about: allowing ourselves to be supported by others within the principle of us being living the point of supporting ourselves unconditionally as well.

 

4. Another point I realized is how one underlying aspect of this all is wanting to ‘serve others/ be there as support for others’ and missing out this basic point of self support for Myself. This is what I will begin with on the following posts to come, to see where this personality of the helper/ good person/ supportive person has lead me to self compromise when not walking in an equilibrium between my ‘supportive role’ and my own personal-support as in walking the responsibilities that I have within my world that are not linked toward my own process however are absolutely Part of Process as it is part of my reality and the points that I am walking within my life in this world.

And here’s where that Jesuit school motto comes to mind ‘Ser para los demás’ = ‘To be/ Being For Others’ – which is  essentially missing out oneself and then yes, it’s like ‘awesome, you are of ‘great support’ for others but, where’s your own self-support and self responsibility within your world?’ Self’s application must be Equal in all ways and I cannot give more to be something for ‘others’ but rather stand as an example of being the support I want for myself and that I can give to others and as such, give it back to myself. 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to procrastinate my own responsibilities based on wanting to rather ‘support others/ be there for others’ and within this, missing out my own priorities and responsibilities which I see and realize that it is actually stemming from wanting to ‘do good to others’ while creating an actual physical space-time consequences due to me using the point of supporting others as an excuse to not get to my own responsibilities in my reality. Thus

 

When and as I see myself making the decision to rather do this/that which is based on supporting others/ being ‘there for others’ – I stop and I breathe – I realize that as long as this support of ‘being there for others’ stems from a point of wanting to help/ support to be a ‘good person’ and use this as an excuse to not get to my responsibilities, it is actually an unacceptable way of supporting as I am missing out myself and furthermore creating further excuses as how it is ‘better’ to support others because it makes me feel ‘better’ than just doing a task for an institution, wherein it is common sense that all aspects of my reality are equally important and equally priority within this process wherein everything that I commit myself to do will be based on self-responsibility in all aspects/ points in my reality.

I commit myself to equalize my application in all aspects of my reality wherein no point is less or more important as I realize that all commitments I make are equally important within my reality and my development as a person that is able to be self responsible in all aspects/ ways which is the decision one makes when standing up for life and the creation of an actual better world for ourselves.

 

So, the procrastination character has now morphed into looking at the ‘game played’ while procrastinating, and that’s the nitty-gritty aspects that I commit myself to open up in the following posts.

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177. Imagining Positive Outcomes as Conditions to Move

Imagination Reactions – Procrastination Character
Positive Imagination

Within this, the imagination of a ‘better thing to do’ such as simply going out for a walk and imagining the entire play out of having a ‘cool time’ within it forms part of the immediate thought and imagination that covers-up the points I reviewed in the last blog in relation to the negative imagination.

The other future projection is exactly the opposite of what I have imagined/ pictured myself in within the point of confrontation with the ‘jury’ and instead of having them bashing my work, praising and ‘loving it’ which is how I then also create this laxity and sensation within me of relief, or even expectation as an experience wherein all of this is happening in my mind with no actual physical ‘input’ so to speak to actually simply get this done and stopping future-projections that only serve my own mind-interest instead of giving myself direction in the physical.

As I had explained as well, walking as the ‘sacred time of the day’ within my routine, as that untouchable aspect that I have defined as a ‘must do no matter what’ and how I can implement this same drive toward any other point/ activity in my reality.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with excitement to going out for a walk due to how I have defined this experience of walking outside as a positive thing to do within my day, yet it has been used to also distract myself to get to the positive point in my day and avoid looking at the rest of the points that also require my attention and equal-input to get them done thus

When and as I see myself reacting with enthusiasm and excitement and be just ‘ready’ to go out for a walk, I stop and I breathe – I realize and make sure that I am not using this as an excuse to leave what I have to do ‘for later’ and excusing myself with further self-talk of why I should go outside – thus

I commit myself to make the decision to go outside based on how I have covered my basic priorities during the day or not – as I realize that it is within this excitement and expectation of going outside that I suddenly ‘let everything go’ and justify it with ‘giving myself some time’ but from the perspective of actually pushing aside/ covering up the initial negative experience that I am in fact trying to ‘make alright’ through the positive experience of going out for a walk, which is not acceptable.

I commit myself to expand and express myself as ‘steadfastness’ toward every activity that I commit myself to do, as this is what I see and realize assists and support me to not allow myself to go into thoughts, pictures, imagination about ‘doing something’ but simply giving myself direction in a physical manner, not allowing myself to have ‘second thoughts’ about things.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine myself within a situation of facing/ confronting and exposing my written document to more people and them reacting with amazement and delight about what I have to say, creating a positive experience within me in that moment of being imagining this such as a warm sensation in my stomach and creating this upliftment within me that I am only making up in my mind and experienced at a physical level, without seeing and realizing that I am in fact NOT doing anything physically but only up there entertaining myself in my mind with positive outcomes and expectations that have no foundation in any way whatsoever but mere desires and delusions of grandeur – thus

 

When and as I see myself imagining myself in this future projection moment of presenting my work to more people, I stop and I breathe – I realize that this positive experience is a cover up for the fear of having the exact opposite happening in reality within the same situation as a negative experience – thus I realize that in order to DO something, I don’t require to future project, I don’t require to have either a positive or a negative experience, it is only about myself being congruent with my doings and commitments that I am pressing here and stop all mind-entertainment that serves no other purpose but making it ‘alright’ within my mind to simply not do things and believing that ‘somehow’ it will all turn out just fine, which is the laxity that must be stopped in order to get to the physical points that must be done.

I commit myself to stop imagining pictures, moments with more people ‘praising my work’ and within this reacting with a positive experience of upliftment, grandeur, importance that is only founded upon my mind, my secret desires to ‘win’ no matter what and be ‘recognized’  – I realize that within these seemingly ‘innocent’ participation in the mind, I am in fact abdicating the self responsibility toward actual physical DOING and instead, I am getting a physical high of thoughts in my head, which proves to what extent I have allowed myself to use my physical body as a self-projector of ‘good experiences’ while leaving the actual DOING for ‘another time,’ which implies that imagination as a positive experience is also another way to procrastinate and delude ourselves into a positive outcome without any real foundation of it as a physical-doing.

I realize that indulging in imagination is also a way to suit my needs and ‘soothe my fears’ like covering them up with something ‘better to think,’ instead of realizing that this is not about a Thinking process but a Doing that does not require me to project a future certain outcome that I can create a point of ‘satisfaction’ about, without physically first doing it.

This reveals how I have tended to only ‘move’ myself based on having a certainty of ending up ‘winning’ having the result that ‘I expect/ that I want’ and when this is not  in place, I do not do it because of actually being fearing the ‘negative outcome’ within all of this, which is how I comfort myself with ‘positive outcomes’ without realizing how either/or positive or negative are equally abusive in fact.

 

Thus, equalizing myself to the physical dimension of reality implies: I do not require to have ‘certainty’ created in my mind toward doing something, I simply require to just do it.

I realize that I do not require to have a positive input or drive to do things through imagining a ‘reward’ of sorts for doing it, that would be conditioning myself to only move according to there being ‘something in it for me.’

I realize that If I am here to stand for an equal and one self-movement as the physical, there has to be no energetic drive existent within me to ‘feel like doing something’ – I instead, take a deep breath, recognize that breath as the physical living-force is all I really require to get things done.

More to come

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Day 3– De-Capital-I-zing Me

Seeing me as the Capital imposition upon Life- it’s not a pretty picture considering to what extent we have neglected the lives of the billions that live in this world without even getting to know what having meat on your skin actually feels like, how having food, shelter, water, toilets, and proper health care as the things that we have taken for granted, would be like a heaven that is never really manifested in their lives. How have we created such abuse? Yes, we all have done it, accepted and allowed it through our very “living” of a surrogate – and very limited – experience of ‘Life’ as an energetic system wherein for some to ‘be on top,’ abuse must exist to make sure that others remain invalidated within the system, way at the bottom with no ability to stand up. Who has been the ‘evil ones’ all the way?

 

Validation is a word that came up today wherein I see that we are always seeking to be validated by others, to con.firm that ‘I’ exist a a product that is and can be ‘valued’ in this reality in a lesser or greater position when comparing myself to others that are also existing as Capital-I’s impositions on Life. This capital is  the surplus as the delirium for power that I have ‘granted’ myself with  as an individual and as this entire physical reality in separation of myself, which exists as ideas, beliefs, perceptions of ‘who I am’ as the mind that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become, which translates into knowledge and information in the form of definitions, values and interests that are directly linked to how we have placed a price tag virtually upon everything and everyone in this world. Yes, even You and I have a price as well.

 

The desire to be validated/ recognized exists in us human beings as a way to keep ‘adding’ onto ourselves the necessary ‘props’ for our ego as thoughts, beliefs, memories, opinions and judgments that can ‘uplift’ our position within this current world-system configuration that is based upon Money. That way, we learn ways to make ourselves ‘liked’ and ‘praised’ and ‘accepted’ as that would ensure our survival within this current world system, within forming and creating relationships of self-interest wherein all bonds are formed just like financial bonds that eventually ‘pay off’ to our own benefit.  That way, we live a life of always seeking to be ‘above’ others, to finally ‘make it’ within the current accepted and allowed system of abuse wherein one can only exist ‘on top’ of another if the ones ‘below’ are invariably abused. There are no exceptions within that.

 

The sour truth is we have all created and manifested and maintained this world into the current crisis that it is because of having accepted that initial desire to be ‘Capital-I-zed,’ to be seen by the eyes of the mind of other human beings as being ‘worthy’ as being ‘great’ and ‘superior’ = seeking validation within the eyes of the mind that functions as this perpetual appraisal of each other as such assessment translates eventually into money, as ‘how we sell each other’ to the greatest bidder –  because money buys and money is the point that we have created as the main point of abuse in this world, the perfect creation of us, human beings in the name of power and self-Capitalized Interest.

 

The pursuit of happiness begins at a thought level, which is seeking that energy that will allow us to keep existing as that Inflated-idea of ourselves which is and cannot possibly be Real, as it only exists as thoughts, pictures, memories, beliefs, objects fabricated and created in separation of myself through and by the same system of abuse that uses the belief of energy as a requirement to exist, which is Not who I really am as this physical reality wherein I cannot, in any way, make myself ‘more’ or ‘less’ in an equality-equation in which life actually exists – yet our world system as the reflection of our very own nature, does Not work that way at the moment. And the consequences are already roaming the Earth as the inevitable facing of ourselves as our creation.

Our economy is founded upon these  beliefs around the ‘battery’ that we have made ourselves dependent-to in order to continue living as Money, along with the added values and ‘interest’ that we rate ourselves-with, as our entire personality and ego-creation that takes also money to create and sustain. Are we walking bank accounts that seek to be endowed with more and more all the time to get ‘wealthier,’ to accumulate all capital and get the most interests over time through our inversion?

 

Have a look at our thoughts and mind experiences: we are always seeking to make ourselves ‘worthy’ – or the direct opposite which works the exact same way – which cannot possibly exist other than in a mental-delusion of something being able to be  ‘more’ or ‘less’ in reality. The current separation that has become real is the outflow of these values we have imposed onto life; it’s in the current structure and functioning of the money system in which we have delegated our one and equal expression into a system that creates a surrogate experience of life, degrading it into a ‘cheap’ version of energies as emotions and ‘feel good vibes’ through a mechanism where loss and gain is made possible,  enslaving life to a binary programmed system of self-limitation, which reflects upon our money system: our own power-structure that decides who lives and who dies.

 

All of this begins by this acceptance and allowance of ourselves seeking validation in separation of who we are as life, as one and equal. We have ‘forgotten’ – or neglected – the fact that Life is the only value that is here, that is real and as such it is and cannot exist as something ‘measurable’ within an abstraction such as the money-belief-system that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to create and manifest in separation of life as who we really are.

 

We have to stop being appraisers of each other through the Capital-Eyes of money that we have created as a survival of the fittest jungle world, which implies that those that are not ‘worthy’ to the system, those that cannot ‘capitalize themselves’ because of being born in a readily-existent position of scarcity and lack of money, don’t stand a chance to ‘make it’ within this world. We are so compartmentalized in our own petty experiences that we cannot even fathom the extent of suffering that someone is going through as the result of us accepting and allowing the current world system ‘as is’ until now. 

 

Hence this survivalism is and has become the current constant competition and strive to live wherein money becomes equal to the appraisal’s judgments upon ourselves to remunerate us with creating a positive experience when being valued as ‘worthy’ and a negative experience when being valued as ‘unworthy.

 

The only Value that can exist is Life itself – that’s the value of Money in the Equal Money System -and because it exists in Equality, all value becomes irrelevant, just like a God that cannot exist if all is one and equal. God – as the Capitalized delusional concept and belief of an almighty superior being/ force in existence – can only exist if someone is subordinated and/ or deliberately subjugated to a lesser position = that can only be done through the deliberate  imposition of psychopathic systems to create and manifest separation from ourselves as Life, that we have violated into a ‘divide and conquer’ principle in the name of ‘power’ which can only come through abuse, wherein every single person is currently living by its rule of thumb in this world. 

 

It is unacceptable, we created this and it’s time to Stop.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a system of abuse without having ever questioned the ‘unreality’ that exists as values imposed to life that is here, values created by and through our very own mind, a mind that we are constantly seeking to re-charge to continue Capital-I-zing the idea of ourselves to get to a final state of ‘ultimate bliss’ and ‘fulfillment’ and ‘completion’ as the accumulation of energy as money, as positive judgments and experiences that can only exist if others are abused, subjugated and diminished to a lesser position so that I can stand in full-glory of myself.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having conveniently veiled and diminished my ability to understand this reality as the world system,  by delegating life and my self-direction through a mind system that is and has become the surrogate ‘living experience’ that can only function through and as an energetic system of abuse.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept such diminishment and enlargement of ‘who I am’ as values, beliefs and perceptions of ‘who I am’ as my mind, wherein I can see and realize that the ‘who I am’ is existing as thoughts, experiences, definitions as the energetic personality that I have carried and lived-as within my mind, which separates me from the very physical body and reality that is here as myself, the reality that I have abdicated my responsibility to within the moment that I opted to live within a pursuit of power, happiness, bliss, glory and eternal life as all the positive experiences that I allowed myself to accept as ‘what life is,’ as ‘successful living.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be educated to ‘capitalize’ the Idea of myself, gaining props and escalating positions to get to a secure point within the world system, wherein money is then assured as a validation, a licensed version of myself as being a ‘worthy system of life’ within the configuration of this entire world system of energetic abuse that I accepted and allowed myself to exist as.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek validation and being ‘worthy of life’ at the I’s of other capitalized mind systems, feeding off of each other to inflate the idea of ourselves, to create a delusional value that is beyond the physical flesh and bones as the substance that is who we really are in this world and reality.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to ever question the value systems existing in this world as the projection of the very value-systems that I have created, categorized and schemed within my own mind. This implies that I, as the creator of this system of abuse, is entirely responsible for all forms of separation and degradation of life due to and by the acceptance of a system of energetic abuse to exist as the illusion of living, as the equation of life to experiences generated by and through each participant’s mind in this reality.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create an energetic dependency to be constantly seeking validation outside of myself, which means seeking to sip and drain energy from the physical life substance to generate my personal entertainment and surrogate living as thoughts, feelings emotions which I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘identify’ myself with as ‘who I am,’ while neglecting the actual reality of suffering that stems from the polarized version of my pleasant experience of ‘success.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge ‘economy’ as a delusional pseudo-science, without realizing that it has become the very externalization of my own mind as this entire world system, as the study of the relationships of abuse and violation to the equality and oneness that is and has been here as myself. I did this to myself and the only point that is left, is forgiving myself for abdicating life to an experience –

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from life through the creation and manifestation of Money, from that very energy that I have used to abuse, to have an experience of ‘power’ over this reality and instead of questioning it further, I con-formed to it and abdicated any questioning towards it, because of wanting to remain in the most ‘comfortable’ position at all times.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ‘accept the system as is’ which implies never having even questioned my own mind, my own feelings and emotions and the generation of them as something that can alter ‘who I am’ at any given moment.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to live a surrogate life through the mind, where who I really am as life has been suppressed, contained and enslaved to an energetic system of co-dependency and parasitism that exists as the mind system that we all accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become.

 

I realize that I am the only one here that is responsible for this – one and equal as all participants are equally here as myself – thus, it is our individual responsibility to Stop this system of energetic dependency of ourselves as our mind, as thoughts, feelings, emotions, desires, dreams, pursuits of happiness, bliss, love and validation that can only exist in separation of the recognition of who we really are as life, as one and equal.

 

I commit myself to become the ‘I’ that stops all capitalism to exist within and as me, as my very own mind-patterns that seek to be validated, to be augmented in ‘value,’ that seek to be the ‘wealthiest’, the ‘most valued product’ in order to get the most Interest out of that accumulated Capital that I have invested myself with and enslaved my life to.

 

I breathe and realize that the extent of abuse that has stemmed form a single belief system of us being and existing as ‘separate’ from life, has deviated into our current reality = we are all responsible for it.

 

Thus what I can practically and physically do is:

I commit myself to stop all value-systems to exist within me, rating, assessing, appraising and oppressing the very life that I am by  my deliberate participation in a limited scope of ‘myself’ that I have become as a mind consciousness system.

 

I commit myself to integrate into this physical reality within and as a principle of what’s best for all, wherein the actions, words and thoughts that I create are self-directed and self-willed as the volition of Life that can only exist if all is equally considered within every decision made to have an outflow that’s best for all.

 

I commit myself to become part of the individuals that make sure that this world system as it is currently exists, as the reflection of myself as a mind system, ends –  this is done through and by Me stopping Capital-i-zing Myself through thoughts, feelings, emotions, desires, future projections of superiority and ‘greatness’ as self-interest that can only exist and be manifested if I allow myself to participate within such thoughts as desires, wants and needs. Therefore, I realize that the ability to stop participation in any thought, feeling, emotions and pattern that makes me ‘more’ or ‘less’ through an experience of the mind is in my hands.

 

I commit myself to walk my own mind of thoughts, feelings, pictures, emotions, memories, beliefs and any other experience to which I have diminished myself to, as the ego that I have capitalized and rated as a positive or negative experience within my participation in the mind.

 

I commit myself to get to a point of being equally here as the physical as myself by directing me from here on to do and live that which is best for all life, where no limitation and no excess can exist, where no devaluation and no inflation can exist, as I realize that who I am as the physical is constant and consistent as the very breath that keeps me alive.

 

I commit myself to live the words I write here and face the consequences that are already here as the outflows of having abdicated all self-responsibility to an automated system of self-abuse that I am still currently existing as within and without. Yet, it is within me that the key exists to become Self-Honest and stop the cycles of abuse for once and for all.

 

I commit myself to ‘validate’ myself as the application of the words I write here – I am the only one that is able to do that for myself in Self Honesty and only accumulate that which is Best for All Life

 

“I commit myself to understand that to bring about a world that is best for life I will have great resistance both from my mind and my body as my body is controlled  at the moment by my mind as well as from other people as minds and controlled bodies, but I will walk as I understand just like in my process, the time will come where the physical reminder of what is real will be so clear and shocking that the mind will stop and the person will hear and come to their senses of the physical world to begin their process to re-align with that which is best for all life.” Bernard Poolman 

 

I see and realize that the only way we can end ‘Capitalism’ is by stopping the delusional current money system that stems from our very own minds as a accepted praise to that which is ‘superior’ which can only exist through abuse.

The world is in reverse, people – we’ve got a lot of work ahead here, and we will walk this until  it is done.

 

Join us at Desteni

Check out the Forum for further support to walk out of our minds and into the physical.

 

 

 

Educate yourself about the Money System and read the support necessary to start considering beyond our Eyes and dare to live as physical beings that realize that breathing must be easy for all if we all support an Equal Money System that ensures a dignified living for all beings in this reality.

 

Blogs:

DAY 1: Who I Am as Money
DAY 2: Who I Am as Money – continued
Day 2: Happiness and Me

Wording myself to Worth

Breaking through my own religion –that is the ‘Marlen’ religion – was the expansion that I required for the sake of realizing that I didn’t have to be bound to a single idea that I had built of myself around others – once that fear of ‘getting out of my parameters’ is gone, one can simply express and live and BE for the very first fucking time without projecting on to ‘how others are seeing me’

 

This I can link to self-acceptance. I had a hard time trying to fit to that which I knew was considered acceptable by others – therefore I played out the opposite because I knew that the ‘pretty’ was also fake so, became that polarity point which was also image based, pretending to not care yet I did, extensively – and within that I justified myself and considered that I didn’t want to create myself as the perfect picture that others want me to be. See how it was always ‘others see me/ others want me to be’ and within that, I enslaved myself to these ideas of who I am, who I must be, what I must look like for such person to like me – all about being accepted by outside points instead of having ever looked at myself as Self-Acceptance.

 

This is  a point that I walked and faced extensively at the farm. Physically walking through the point of realizing the constant self judgment in relation to my physical body, finally opening up the point to make it inevitably obvious and thus start embracing myself. That’s been like a constant throughout my life and it was also pretty much based on the pictures we see in our world, how we basically get bombarded to be a certain way to be ‘the coolest looking people on Earth’ – within this, because of belittling myself, not being ‘good enough’ and even considering my design to be extremely fucked up, I allowed myself to simply seek for acceptance from another within relationships and within that, basically enslaving myself to that point of acceptance outside of myself. I couldn’t bare the idea of being left out of the game, I got to see how I’d be petrified by these ideas – this is the ‘true nature’ an obsessive,  possessive being that could not stand on her own two feet without being defined by another in a relationship of any kind.

 

The point of self acceptance came in various ways and I realized that I could not possibly be ‘supporting myself’ for real if I didn’t have this point in place. Within this, I got great support from resonances to see how I hadn’t allowed myself to recognize and worth myself by what I’ve actually been and done and accepting that self-respect that is actually able to be embraced once we stop wanting to be this ‘ideal’ that we have of ourselves, once we stop ourselves from merely seeking recognition and validation from outside sources and start accepting ourselves for ourselves. Only minds require external validation to continue existing – this is how we go through that withdrawal of getting that constant ego-feed by others to validate our existence which is how we get to be literally addicted to each other, just because we haven’t allowed ourselves to be with ourselves, to accept and care for ourselves alone.

 

Once this point of accepting ourselves is in place, then standing with another or not becomes more of an extra point of support than a constant need, yearning, desire or requirement. The first relationship must be with ourselves – I’ve certainly experienced that ability to stand alone and it’s been quite cool yet, also have to realize that no man’s an island and we cannot remain in our comfort zone alone.

 

So the starting point for any relationship won’t be that of wanting or seeking validation, but actually supporting myself to walk with another in facing the points that are still existent within me yet not seeing them because of not having such buttons being pushed – I breathe and realize that I may still be reluctant to this point though, as long as I hold on to an ideal, I’ll never be satisfied with myself – so self acceptance is the first point to then stand one and equal as ourselves first, like integrating ourselves back to ourselves which is something that no one will do for ourselves, we’ve got to actually for the very first time start appreciating and caring ourselves for ourselves – only then can we see what we’ve missed all this time by going looking for validation and recognition outside of ourselves and within that, simply getting locked into relationships wherein only validation and worth is sought through another without ever realizing it was me first accepting and caring for myself for what I am because this is who we are, this is who we walk as in this world.

 

Self Acceptance didn’t come overnight and still any other day that the point comes up or I’m confronted with it, I have to continue applying myself, bringing myself back here to common sense and not go into the back-past usual patterns of wanting recognition, seeking validation from others because I hadn’t allowed myself to accept myself in the first place.

 

It’s very cool to see how this is a process that I’ve walked and that I’m certainly stable within, it comes up at times of course but I am able to redirect myself and not allow myself to go into it that much re-creating the past experiences of ‘longing’ for another mind system to value me – I’m here and I’m the only one that can fully care for myself hence the importance of establishing ourselves as our starting point, of doing it all for ourselves – the moment we do it for something/ someone separate from ourselves we’ll eventually have to face the point and let go of it because it’s not real anyways.

 

What’s real is here as ourselves, as the truth of ourselves and within that, there is no way we can depend on anything to validate our existence – we simply have to realize ourselves as what’s here and thus first begin by supporting ourselves and from there, we can only continue working through the rest of the points in this reality –See, I realize that this is not a cool world we’re living in, nor am I trying to be optimistic about it – yet, we’re not going anyway and what I’ve realized is we can’t simply continue existing in such self hatred, self-rejection and self sabotage that only contributes to the current fuckedupness in this world. Like I would be very depressed about this world before yet never realized that by me being the embodiment of that as myself I was actually contributing to such mind-state that’s so common in the world.

 

When I allowed myself to stop participating in it, I saw how it’s much cooler to start actually exploring our expression, to let go of our patterns and get to live – to be with others as an expansion of ourselves, not wanting or needing or requiring anything, but simply expressing and sharing within walking a process of realizing: we are here as Equals and we can actually get to accept and care for ourselves if we actually allow us to do so.

 

Misery loves company – so I no longer seek such type of company – I can only be grateful with myself and anyone that has allowed me to see that I require to be my starting point, that I’ve gotta do this for myself because no one else will, that I have to create this care that I never even considered I didn’t have towards myself – we’ve missed ourselves our entire lives, we’ve missed that ability to live and so we’re here because we have a chance, we simply have to do it, to actually stop acting from the program and get ourselves moving.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to belittle myself, for believing that I’m not ‘good enough’, that I’m not ‘worthy’ enough and within this I realize that I can only worth myself as life according to that which I practically live and apply as myself to actually stand as that life-worth that I am as what’s here as that which I’ve tampered though thoughts of belittling and self-deprecation.

I accept and care for myself as the realization of who I am as life

 I see and realize that there is no other ‘value’ that I can give to myself but I can only worth myself as life through practically living a life that is  worth-while living in, that which I can see is best for myself and best for all as Equals as I realize how we’ve enslaved each other within seeking for validation, recognition within the ideas of ourselves instead of simply accepting ourselves as equals to then start exploring what self expression can be.

I work and walk through the past as the patterns I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exist as yet I make sure I stop defining myself as them because I see and realize that they only stood for the limitation that I believed myself to be.

I no longer require to be validated by anyone as I realize that I can only exist as life, as the worth that we’re all one and equal as – I no longer allow myself to compare or think of myself as ‘inherently flawed’ but instead work through strengthening my resolve to stand and stop the recurring patterns as I continue walking breathing, facing myself and making sure I don’t become the engine that runs the self-deprecation pattern ever again.

This is an ongoing process, and here we walk.


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