573. What is Right? What is Wrong?

Or transforming morality into a practical assessment of what’s here for me to live, decide and act on as my creative authority

What does seeing through what is apparently ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ mean? How to step out of the morality construct that I’ve been limiting myself with? This all starts with the simplicity of judging certain things as right or good and some others as bad or wrong. Who decides what these are? I do. And I know, morality is such a big word and it has shaped a lot of who we are as human beings, partly because of religious constructs that were built to create fear, control and in a way yes, regulate some of the most harmful and abusive ways that we have as human beings. However, as much as it could have served a purpose throughout our past, we can definitely start evolving into a form of self-direction, self-authority, self-forgiveness and self-responsible change that doesn’t require an idea of heaven, a reward, a judgment, a punishment or fear to drive our change of actions other than doing it for ourselves, because ‘I matter’ because ‘we matter’ to each other and in what we create in our reality.

So, even if I could have said before ‘I am not a religious person’ ehm ehm, well, the moment that I am judging something as the ‘right thing to do’ or ‘good’ and ‘benevolent’ proves that I create a religion, a set of beliefs within me where I guide what I do based on an idea, a belief, a creed of sorts that I immediately come up with, without giving a second thought to consider practical reality. So morality comes in the same of that ‘immediate thought’ of ‘that’s wrong! That’s bad!’ or immediately jumping into defining something as ‘good’ or ‘benevolent’ and feel an upliftment about it based on an idea of what it represents in my head.

However, these are only ideas as judgments, they are all aspects or parts of myself that I’ve come to be so used to judge as ‘good’ or ‘bad’, constantly assessing and analyzing what I should or should not do within a value-system created through morality as ‘good’ or ‘bad.’

Ultimately morality is a construct of fear and control used throughout a phase or time in our lives as human beings where we didn’t develop ways to develop our responsibility as creators of reality, and so had to be ‘managed’ through fear, though ideas of burning hells and punishment – lol – just look at religion and realize the fear, the suffering, the punishment, the bliss, the heavenly pleasures embedded to ‘moral constructs’ of right and wrong, good and evil.

 

Well, I can definitely see how much I have limited myself within such mentality, which is linked to the whole construct I’ve been opening up recently of being ‘morally upright’ and ‘virtuous’ and ‘being an example’ and all of these words that I turned into another personality or ‘frame of mind’ through which I was at the same time judging, discriminating and eventually fearing doing, acting, thinking or considering certain things because of deeming them as ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’ or standing as the opposite of what I wanted to ‘show’ of myself or believe that I simply ‘should’ stick to the ‘good side’ of things. But, who defines what these limits are? I do and not in a very practical manner, but based on ideas, beliefs, fears, judgments, coming from social conventions, from religious dogmas, from fears.

But again, I am the only one in my head creating these limitations as ‘right or wrong,’ I am the only one doing this to me at a thought level where many times I’ve even refrained myself from ‘trying something out’ because of still seeing myself, my reality, my actions through these eyes of ‘what is right or wrong,’ and in a way ignoring or not seeing how that judgment of ‘that is wrong,’ or ‘I’m not going to do that because it’s not right’ is a limitation, mostly stemming from a social construct, a belief, an accepted limitation at a judgment level that I then turn into a real obstacle for me to not take the steps and ‘dare’ to do something or change something or test something out, step into the unknown which to me is a first step for actual change most of the times, if not all the time.  

This is where I want to look at what would be a practical way to, in every moment, stop referring to my old-age morality of ‘what is right and wrong’ and transgress my own limitations by doing a simple and ‘on the spot’ assessment of what is right for me in a moment, which is not about a belief or idea of it being’ right’ in fact, but more turning this into a looking, a seeing, an observing within a functional context, such as considering ‘what works for me in this moment? What is practical for me to do? What am I capable of doing or conducting in this moment? Am I willing and able to walk through this decision with its consequences, outflows and outcomes whichever way they might be?

Now here I am placing the responsibility entirely on myself, within a reality context that will have real consequences, real creations – rather than going into my mind and limiting myself based on an idea, belief or construct of ‘what is right or wrong to do’ in any given situation, which I consider is a functional foundation for self-creation, being ‘playful’ with creation and taking that necessary initial ‘leap’ that any form of change implies, while doing a quick assessment of what one can live with in terms of the effects, consequences and outcomes of such moment’s decision and actions.

Within this I realize how much I have limited myself in what I do based on this ‘idea’ of myself as a certain kind of person that ‘only talks about certain kind of topics,’ that is supposed to ‘always act/behave in a certain manner’ and all of these ideas of myself hide a wide array of constructs of why it is ‘right’ for me to do, say, act or belief certain things and why it would be ‘wrong’ for me to do something outside of what I believe I am only able or capable or ‘suitable’ to think, say and do.

Now, this isn’t about libertinage in the sense of giving a ‘free reign’ to ‘whatever I want to do’ in a rather foolish extremism of ‘there’s no more right and wrong therefore anything goes!’ where for example harm or abuse is conducted to myself or others – nope. Morality is definitely not the same as considering reality principles, such as ‘every action has a reaction or consequence’, considering doing onto others what I’d like others to do onto myself and others, to consider the responsibility of my actions and inactions, to live and give to others what I’d like others to consider giving to themselves and others as well as co-creators in this world… Now these are very ‘broad’ statements, but to me it speaks more about considering what I am willing to ‘live with’ in making decisions, in taking the steps to create something in my reality that I can now assess based on practical matters, considering the consequences, the practical outflows and potentials of what I can walk with, what I can learn from it, the purpose, the intent, the words I can live in deciding to do something – rather than only seeing it through a very limited – and usually instant – scope of ‘what’s right to do’ and what’s ‘wrong to do’ in my head, where no reality or practical considerations are taken into account.

I consider that it’s much more practical to make informed decisions, make a practical plan and see potential outcomes to then see what is the ‘right’ path or decision for me to take according to that context, that moment in time, my life, my experience, my moment – which cannot be defined by any ‘set in stone’ ideas of what is right or wrong – every decision, moment, path is unique in itself, according to each person, each context, in a moment of each one’s life and so what is ‘right’ for me to do is to consider what’s practical, what can work, what I am willing to walk through and live the results thereof, live with the consequences and at the same time, very important: be ok with making mistakes, not judging myself, but rather being able to trust my assessment in that one moment, being able to trust myself in being fully present in that moment of making such decision and ‘staying true to myself,’ whichever this ‘truth’ might be for me at the time/context and standing by my creative authority, taking the risks, taking the steps to do it and consider the responsibility it entails, which to me is part of an active process of change considering that we are mostly keeping ourselves in our seemingly ‘safe spots’ because of all the fears we got to actually take the steps into the unknown, which is usually what we have denied ourselves from doing because of deeming it as ‘not for us’ or ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’ or seeing ourselves as ‘unfit’ or ‘incapable’ for something…. But who defines that? Who decides that? We do, therefore we can turn the tables and take the steps to challenge our self-imposed limitations, within the realm of reality and consequences.

The practical process for me here is in the context of transcending and transforming this morality construct: whenever I see myself considering that I should ‘not’ do something because of referencing back to ideas, beliefs of perceptions of ‘who I am and should be’ at my eyes and the eyes of others, I have to stop myself and rather assess it in the form of ‘Am I willing to live with the outflow/consequence or result of taking this/that path or decision and live it in every step of the way?’ ‘Am I willing to walk this decision in this moment and take responsibility for the result as my creation?’

And this doesn’t even imply a ‘beginning or end’ or ‘sticking to something just because I decided to do so’ because who knows? Sometimes we will find right at the start or half-way through the process that what seemed ‘the right way’ when we made the decision ended up not being ‘the right way’ and so give ourselves again that creative authority to change our mind, to change our direction and find another path for us, decide on what’s the ‘right way’ to go in that moment which is more like saying ‘what can work better’ or what can function better now that I know that what seemed ‘right’ turned out to not be the way, turned to be the ‘wrong way’ for me in this moment – and again! Just for that moment, because: who knows? We might find it suitable in another time in our lives – instead of for example beating us down and bashing ourselves for ‘taking the wrong path’ or ‘making mistakes’ because that’s again morality construct speaking, not creative authority.

I’ve definitely lived for so long believing that I had to keep myself ‘on the right path’ all the time, which led me to then deliberately test going to the ‘opposite pole’ in an attempt to ‘transcend my limitations’ or ‘transcend morality’ but this is not about going to extremes, but about practical self-responsible assessment of what I’m willing to do and live with in every moment of my actions or inactions, and walk it through, keeping an awareness of what I’m doing, creating, and even if I ‘lose track of myself’ at times, be ok with it, knowing again that I got myself, my reference points as principles and going again at it, living.

This is where I disengage the ‘notion’ of living as ‘doing the right thing’ all the time, and instead learn to live life as the plethora of experiences that one walks through in it, without judgment, without fear. Sounds really nice and easy, but it actually entails to me in every moment that I see a limitation coming up in the form of right/wrong or fears and judgments, I have to stop myself and rather ask myself what am I willing to do, live with and walk with within this decision? Am I able to develop and learn and walk what it takes to do this? And then that becomes a more dynamic approach to life where I can let go of ‘what ifs’ and ‘fears’ that I have stifled myself with for so long.

Now again, it’s easily said, but the proof is in the pudding, so this is just the story board of the actions to take from now on in my life to see what works, what doesn’t work, testing things out, considering common sense, considering what’s best for all in practical terms of my reality, the impact of my creation, my words, my actions on myself and others – and that’s quite a physical process to take into consideration.

Ok, that’s it for now. Thanks for reading.

 

 

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160. Pious

Making a Hypocritical display of virtue

The word hits the nail on the head to explain a self-conscious virtue that one display in order to get quite a satisfaction from actually showing it off, while waiting to ‘gain points’ to obtain that which is either able to be categorized as a ‘good being reputation,’ a ‘benevolent’ person that supports those in need or a piece of heaven for it, which was the type of constant self-consciousness I would have: be good, be benevolent, you don’t want ‘others’ talking shit about you.  Hence, all this ‘good deeds’ were in fact always motivated by ‘how others will see me’ and maintaining this flawless reputation that I created from when I was in school. However, I learned how the system works and started using it for my own benefit, which included creating a positive reputation so that later on no one could ‘doubt’ of me doing something that was ‘wrong’ or ‘bad.’ And I must say that even in this point of awareness of human-reputation, I would mostly fear doing something bad/ wrong because of an ingrained fear of god/ punishment in ‘unknown ways,’ because I also learned how people were supposed to get a hell of a life if they had been ‘bad people’ in their lives – hence the ignorant belief that poor people had been in fact very bad people in past lives.

When thinking of the word pious what I get is several experiences lined up as the same type of event: showing others how to do something in school/ supporting them to get past any form of problem to which I would always get a kick when being thanked or even praised for ‘being such an angel/ good person’ and helping them out, deeply knowing that I was in fact doing it to get this type of psychological reward while believing as well that they would only say that to later on be able to ask me again/ be supported/ helped by me.

In this the superwoman point emerged, I mean, believing that one is in fact able to help others and live a life doing that in order to ‘make others feel good and make myself feel good,’ however how much of that was in fact actually supportive if I were to only solve their problems without them taking responsibility for it? And also within me: what was the driving force to place myself at the disposition to support? Altruism and ‘good hearted people’ may seem like apple pies on the outside, but as we know and realize our human nature we cannot possibly remain within this nice belief considering that the very system that we live in is based upon Rewards, which translate into any type of positive energy/ money that adds up like stars in a rating system. And that’s what it was all about: being the star with most ‘positive feedback’ to, just like any other product, gain value in my world-market to make myself feel good, ensure a future of well-being – because, you know, people that are able to establish such good reputation from an early age were supposed to be winners/ ensured successful beings in the world system. And it seems even unreal to say it, but I became aware of it at a very early age upon seeing how such reputation worked at the level of world-system/ business/  money/ relationships, becoming this ‘golden trophy’ that I knew would add up within my reputation the more I ‘did good.’

 

And this is essentially what I was basing my life upon, it was actually like a constant masquerade I’d wear and become very aware of whenever I would get to a new school, with any ‘new people’ I’d meet, new environments I’d settle in, using a ‘good sense of humor’ and the willingness to ‘help’ as a way to create relationships out of self interest, realizing how I would probably eventually ‘need them in the future,’ and as such becoming a calculator within my demon.stration of benevolence as a pious showoff of such ‘virtues’ = making relationships in an easy way out of self interest. This lasted up to the time when I still wanted to be such an example of ‘good person’ and that ended like 10 years ago. After that I went to the opposite side due to becoming rather critical about any attempt to be successful in the world, however I still would not give up my ‘achieved path,’ I kept the desire to build such reputation but in an apparently ‘unconventional manner’ which lead me to an even ‘more’ special point of reputation to the point of sickening myself with feedback from others saying how benevolent/ good person/ considerate one I was. And hell,  for all that we are aware now as our process, I would not trust a single thing of feedback anyone else had to say about me, because I knew I was doing it and probably everyone else was also doing it and as long as any of such ‘benevolent acts’ were actually fueled by the desire to get a point of recognition/ positive feedback/ stars accumulated in my curriculum, none of it can be considered as an actual point of self-support in consideration of others as myself.

This is within the vein of ‘The Force of Good’ points that we probably never investigated within us, because we believed that such ‘good/ positive’ thinking/ deeds were ‘absolutely honest’ and ‘good natured,’ however how can Anything of what we’ve done in fact be ‘good’ if we only considered our own reputation, our own ‘good feelings’ about such deeds in fact. We have all been hypocritical for that matter and this is just part of the aspects of how we have hand picked our life experiences to remember always in a positive/ laureate manner while hiding the actual starting point for such actions being only self interest.

What we have to realize is that we are in fact able to support each other to get to stand as our optimal living condition in this world once that there is no competition to be ‘the most benevolent one’ to get the most “good reputation” that translates to credit/ money within the world system to get all the benefits. IF we give benefits to ALL beings equally,  THEN, what is there to ‘disguise’ as a benevolent being/ pious display of virtues in self interest any longer? Nothing, there will be no more laureate people doing anything ‘benevolent’ in self interest, and instead it will become a single living-integrated realization that life can only flourish and continue if all beings are Equally Supported as Life. Once that survivalism is no longer the measure point for our actions, our lives can be measured/ valued and lived according to the physical-worth of actions that in fact support life in Equality.

 

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