Tag Archives: weed

258. Spiting The System with Drugs

Continuing from:

220. Drug Culture: Mad Society as a Lifestyle

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept drugs as a form to overcome the dullness, the dissatisfaction and boredom that is experienced at a mind level when living in a society/ world system wherein ‘there is not much to do’ other than surviving through schooling/ jobs, having relationships and no aspiration to continue supporting such an enslaving system that is binding everyone to an endless payroll, and through drugs/ alcohol seeking a temporary ‘escape’ from the reality of suffering and abuse, without realizing that within indulging in drugs and any other harmful substance ingestion, one is contributing to perpetuate the same system of Self-Abuse that one tries to ‘overcome’ through taking drugs/ alcohol and sex – within this

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to actually see why drugs and alcohol have not been absolutely banned/ controlled from our reality, because it is the only way that ‘the slaves are happy’ – the slaves being us/ everyone living in this world system and having only the ‘right to life’ if having money in the pocket.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see why drugs – even in conditions of poverty and scarcity – are still an elitist resource to neglect one’s world and reality while existing as a justification and excuse of ‘the system is ignoring me/ I want to escape from this world,’ wherein a victimization is used as a form to retaliate against ‘the system,’ without realizing that the system is ourselves, and the more we retaliate and try and antagonize the system, we only feed the necessary polarity to cause further friction and conflict that generates further measures of control which leads to more extreme ways of drugs/ alcohol/ weapon trafficking as well as every other activity that goes hand in hand within this drug culture such as robbing, prostitution, gang formation, rapes, domestic violence, poverty, health problems, familial disruption and the list goes on.

 

I realize that the crisis that the ‘drug world’ is stemming from this initial belief of drugs being an ‘alternative’ to this reality as a ‘salvation’ from a physical nightmare, not realizing that such salvation/ little piece of heaven is actually the first step to get hooked on an addiction that will have to be maintained through using money, the same money that keeps this entire system in place which means that no drug consumption can be a way to ‘escape the system,’ since the very money – or any other activity done to ‘pay’ for the drugs – is directly existent within the rules in which our current capitalist system works – thus

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see how there is virtually no escape from our reality through buying/ consuming something that may alter our mind-reality for a moment, as this is equally supporting a business that is illegal, does not contribute to any form of collective benefit – such as taxes – it does not declare any legal profit as any other corporation that might be also antagonized by the ‘rebels’ in society that take drugs/ alcohol, which means that through enrolling in drug consumption/ drug smuggling one is being part of the machinery that is still accepted and allowed as an illegal business that actually runs more money than is often declared by major corporations around the world, which in itself points out how hypocritical it is to be a drug-consumer and dare to criticize the system and even use it as an excuse to consume drugs – without ever considering being part of a solution to create an actual well being that we are all aware is possible to create/ establish in this world – but instead, opt through the apparent ‘easy way out’ that leads to – most of the times – life-long addictions where money is required to keep up with one’s addiction, third parties are eventually harmed through one’s addiction, any form of stability in the system is lost and one’s money only contributes to the drug-trafficking business, which is one of the greatest sources of illicit enrichment in our society.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize how it is through drug consumption that one inhibits oneself from being fully Here as an active participant in society that instead directs oneself to be part of a solution to everything that one wanted to escape from through using drugs/ sex/ alcohol as a way to ‘cope’ with reality. I realize that all the money, time, energy wasted to keep an alternate reality can instead be directed toward a point of self responsibility wherein one instead uses such money, time and effort to investigate how we are all equally responsible for how the system works, how it is actually greedy and selfish as the ultimate self interest to believe one ‘does no harm’ while using drugs – even if you are alone in your house – since drugs are the perfect slave-keepers that disable any ability to stand up within common sense to see How we can instead create solutions, and stop running away from the consequences we have created as humanity as this world system.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see how all complains about the system’s control, disparity, violent measures of implementing justice that leads to injustice, favoritism, corruption and any form of abuse, is used as a justification to decide to take drugs and ‘be apart’ from this world/ escape from reality and ‘flipping the finger’ to ‘the system/ government’ – without realizing the extent of suppression and actual evasion that takes place when one decides to instead of facing oneself and taking self responsibility, indulge into drugs/ alcohol and any other form of ‘escapism’ in order to ‘feel free’ and ‘superior’ than the system, without having the audacity to question why would ‘the system/ the government’ would still allow such forms of self-abuse as ‘acceptable’ in an underground manner, which should be the actual point to realize here: a massive business such as drugs cannot be left ‘untouched’ by the government/ elites that obviously know such business and drug-culture exists, but it is better for them to keep the masses/people with stupefacient drugs and remaining getting money to pay for them, than actually becoming aware of how the system works, why not everyone is supporting each other equally, why we have created a system based on abuse and such actually become a real awareness that is willing to change the way the system works – within this

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize how ignorant is it to actually claim to be ‘spiting the system’ through taking drugs/ alcohol or any other ‘illegal activity’ without realizing that nothing is able to be ‘spiting the system’ as long as profit is made, as long as someone benefits from a drug business  -thus it is to realize how naïve is to consider oneself as a drug consumer as someone that is ‘out of the system’ or ‘more clever’ than the rest of the people that ‘do not consume drugs,’ without realizing how it is actually the other way around, wherein a drug consumer is hooked on paying money/ getting money for a temporary mind-energetic experience while believing there’s some form of ‘freedom’ in doing so, without looking at the obvious self-enslavement that is created within this drug-addict paradigm in which we exist as humanity, no matter ‘where’ in the world we are.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see the actual selfishness that exists within drug consumption, wherein one believes that one is ‘stepping out of the cogwheel’ in the system by using money to consume drugs, without being aware of how such money contributes to businesses that do not declare any form of profit in a legal manner, do not pay taxes and as such only create ‘clean’ integral amounts of money for the benefit of a few that have made the greatest businesses in their life out of human’s weakness for an energetic experience as a temporary high and numbing of one’s reality due to ‘problems’  – either internal or external – that are all generated at an individual level in each human being that has accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become our mind that is always seeking for an energetic experience to ‘feel alive.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect the ways in which money moves and is created in this world, neglecting how banks benefit from the money that runs within illegal businesses of drug-trafficking and instead, decide to believe that ‘I am doing no harm with my own drug-consumption’ – without realizing that no act is ever isolated in a system wherein all parts are always affecting the whole through thought, word and deed.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that indulging in drugs was a way to become a ‘militant of the truth’ wherein the delusions created while being on drugs are beliefs of self being ‘superior’ or ‘more clever’ than the rest of the society that doesn’t indulge in drugs – without realizing how drugs as a business is the perfect way for a few to make a lot of money, since we have accepted and allowed ourselves to create a condition of addiction to the mind’s experience at a physical level through chemicals and substances that create a self-experience that we have defined as ‘more’ than ourselves – and in this, becoming actually tunnel-visioned zombies that care-less about the whole-reality of this world, how it works, how money operates, what are the solutions to this reality and instead, one reduces one’s world to only seeking moments to get high/ get drunk/ take any form of drug as a way to ‘cope with a reality’ that we are equally shaping through our neglect and irresponsibility of taking drugs/ alcohol as a ‘solution,’ which proves the level of ignorance we have all collectively shared and adopted as ‘who we are’ in order to avoid having to look at ourselves as the creators of the world we have tried to escape from through becoming drug addicts.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize how such a perfect form of control is able to be implemented by those with specific interests to keep the ‘masses’ occupied in ‘getting high/ getting the next fix’ – as this narrows down any possibility of actual human awareness of the system of abuse and how we are all equally responsible for it – thus

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see how it through the condition of myself accepted and allowed as a mind that enjoys certain experiences of emotions and feelings, that I become a potential drug-user which is not only in the form of our street-drugs/ illegal drugs, but legal drugs for psychological treatments and procedures to create an apparent ‘remedy’ to a condition that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to develop as ‘who we are’ the moment that we believed ourselves to only be our mind and equating life to an experience, missing out all potential to discover what life  really is when reducing it to a series of chemical reactions that must be constantly generated through drugs/ alcohol or any other substance that functions at a mind level, which implies that:

We are all equally responsible for the existence of drugs as a problem in our society, since drugs only function at a mind level and the moment we have all collectively agreed to create a system that only satisfies a few mind-systems seeking constant fulfillment/ pleasure through experiences of the mind we are all agreeing to ‘live’ only to experience these experiences at a mind level defined as ‘happiness,’ without investigating why and how we have to seek for such ‘highs’ and then drop into a low within the mind, and as such realize that the can be an actual physical and tangible way to prevent drug-addiction sin this world, and that is through implementing a world-system based in Equality, wherein our current capitalist system can be aligned toward a best for all outcome with equal-share of all the benefits that only a few get and as such, build the societies that we only ‘dreamed of’ and sought to escape to in our imagination, while missing the fact that we have what we require to do so, to live it out in reality and work together to implement such well being – and within this it is to also see and realize that

 

One will have to give up this self-experience of fulfillment and enjoyment at a mind level to actually focus on the matters at hand as the physical reality that we must all become aware of how it works i n terms of the actual social, political and economical system that has lead us to the current state of the world that one seeks to escape – and instead, direct such anger, frustration, boredom and resentment toward ‘the system’ toward a feasible and practical solution that can be implemented by political means wherein all common sensical living as what’s best for all, is always able to be identified by oneself.

 

It is thus to realize that there will be no need to ‘escape from reality’ if we all instead dedicate ourselves to create a world system that supports all beings equally as Life, creating an actual respect for oneself and each other to create a system wherein on one will have a need to ‘escape’ an actual heaven on Earth we can all agree to create through a democratic vote that each one has the power to exert within the  Equal Money System – it is about time we stop numbing and harming our being that is fully functional and that of others through promoting ways to ‘escape the system’ and instead, work together to make of it the system and reality that we have always wanted to live in but believed ourselves to be incapable of changing – that is no more.

 

No more Highs and, No More Lows.

 

 

 

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Day 42: Toxic Fun–Drugs as Enslavement

Who are we when we allow the intoxication of another being that you can call a friend/ partner/ lover in the name of ‘Fun’? It’s taken a punch to my ego to write a ‘we’ when I have declared myself as an official drug/ alcohol detractor – yet, I’ve been there myself and even had special affinity toward self-destructive people, which implies that whenever I accepted the consumption of drugs/ alcohol in the name of ‘fun’ = I accepted an allowed the man-infestation of the abuse of drugs and alcohol consumption in the world as way to ‘have a good time. ‘

 

Who are we when we support the use of drugs/ alcohol as a way to ‘free ourselves’? Isn’t that the same as inducing another to take some rat poison while pretending that you can just throw your hands in the air and wave them like you just don’t care?

 

My mind wants to run rampant in rage when seeing the effects that such stupefaction generates in a human being – however, here I have placed myself as the point that stops judgment and any other reaction, walking the Self Forgiveness as well [*]. And how I was able to stop the immediate surge of backchat was through saying out loud ‘I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge another for seeing the obvious effects that alcohol/ drugs had upon them while in fact that person as this very moment could have been me’  – and so, the tendency to judge from this ‘superiority’ idea of self was deflated and brought back to the ground, hearing about Patience today also supported me a lot to slow myself down.

 

Thus, now that I have walked the road to hell and back, meaning having walked the process of self forgiveness on these subjects and practically Stopping all forms of substance abuse as an integral part of my commitment to life – I can say that allowing the continuation of such self-abuse between so-called ‘friends’ and partners/lovers is just the most obvious act of actual spite and self-loathing that you can ‘gift’ yourself and another with – that’s how any relationship that wherein alcohol and drugs are promoted as a way to ‘feel good’ and ‘have a good time,’  ‘relax and just chill’  is equal to allowing any form of Self Abuse such as rape, murder, violence and any other form of psychological and physical abuse,  no matter how it is ‘covered up’ and ‘masked’ within this reality.

 

It should be fairly obvious how alcohol is promoted and accepted in our society in such a ‘broad spectrum’ so to speak: it keeps slaves happy and sufficiently droned down to be able to never question how this reality works and only care about dumbing people down to be willing to accept the most ludicrous social policies as long as the so-called ‘free choice’ and ‘free will’ are a means to be able to get drunk, get high, get fucked and repeat the next week on a regular /religious basis.

 

Unacceptable, even more so when the physical body is absolutely neglected, not really imagining what the cells of the body are having to go through once they are drenched in alcohol and any other chemical-poisoning in the name of earning an ‘Experience’ – the use of drugs indicate to what extent we have separated ourselves from our physical bodies and believe that it is only ‘here’ to hold as a chemical reactor of experiences that we dare to call happiness, enjoyment, fun, satisfaction and even going as far as ‘getting in touch with yourself’ when it comes to psychotropic drugs.

 

How low have we gone within this reality in the name of drugs? Extremely low hence, here’s some Self Forgiveness to give ourselves an opportunity to review what we have done onto ourselves in the name of our own energy-god experience that alcohol, drugs and sex abuse creates.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take a hierarchical standing within ‘superiority’ for being ‘over any drug/ alcohol/ substance’ abuse – including sugar – while realizing that this process is not only about ‘me bettering myself,’ but expanding the realization of who we have become as life-consuming beings in the name of an experience, such as getting drunk/high which is numbing our senses in the name of what we have accepted and allowed to call ‘fun’ and ‘entertainment.’ I realize that this world won’t be ‘done with drugs’ until every human is able to realize the actual detrimental effects that such drugs/substance abuse creates at a physical and mind level.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see the use of alcohol as a way to ‘have fun’ that is socially acceptable simply because it is sold in your corner shop, which I have then equated to ‘it is safe to do it – otherwise, why would ‘my government’ want to poison me?’ without realizing that in a world where money moves the threads of every single being and manifestation in the name of power/ control over reality, we cannot possibly assume that everything that we buy/ consume is ‘safe’ and ‘not harmful’ while such assumption is deliberately wanting to neglect and ignore the facts about human decay that are stemming from alcohol abuse, which means that everything that I have ever deemed as ‘safe’ because ‘it’s sold in stores’ I have accepted and allowed simply because of faith and trust upon others while neglecting FACTS and actual Consequences of such substances in reality.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to equate ‘having a good time’ to taking some form of drug, drink alcohol or take any other chill pill to ‘feel just fine,’ without ever considering the irreparable damage that I am inflicting upon my body whenever I consume any substance that I abuse in the name of personal satisfaction as an euphoric experience of which I am completely oblivious as to what are the actual consequences as harm that I am inflicting myself with when using and abusing substances. I realize that I have made things ‘0kay’ in my reality because they are ‘socially acceptable,’ and ‘everyone does it,’ which makes me ponder what else have I accepted in the name of it being ‘socially acceptable’ and it making me a deliberate sheep and follower of a system of enslavement and abuse, such as the capitalistic system wherein I actually pay for my own slow death the moment that I pay for drugs to ‘have fun’ for some time, while having long lasting effects at a physical level out of a moment of self-indulgence.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to ask forgiveness to my body, to every single cell that I neglected the moment that I only sought to ‘have fun’ and inducing chemicals into it that had detrimental effects in an immediate moment, which is how we can numb ourselves from the actual physical experience that we put ourselves as our physical body through the moment that we aim to ‘live’ through Experiences – without realizing that Energy as Experiences is Not Living, but actually abusing the physical in the name of personal interest as instant gratification.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make this entire system of drug consumption which includes entertainment, information, media, advertisement, religions, spirituality as a constant seeking for ‘bettering’ myself either through deluding myself with drugs, knowledge, information, self-talk or positive thinking which are all self-induced forms of abuse in the name of personal satisfaction while neglecting the reality that we are all living in, wherein any form of experience is at the expense of the very use/ abuse of life substance as who we really are, which causes a massive delegation of our physical-breath power to the diminishing of ourselves to a single ‘positive experience’ such as the one that we get to have when drinking alcohol, taking drugs, praying, praising some deity, doing charity, meditating, talking to god/ self as the mind and seeking to mimic the lives of the rich and famous that seem to have a never-ending life of eternal satisfaction, without realizing that such lives are essentially propagated and sponsored by the elites to promote a way of living that is associating life with consumption/ abuse of substances, as this has proven to be the best weapon to keep the masses silenced and obeying.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately induce self-harm toward myself and others in the name of ‘fun’ and ‘partying’ through the use and abuse of substances like alcohol, drugs and any other ‘legal pharma-suit-to-kill’ that can give me a temporary high and experience of ‘feeling great’ for a moment, while neglecting the very breaths that I am squandering and essentially eating up in the name of personal satisfaction such as ‘getting high’ and ‘having fun’ as a ‘cool mix’ that has been accepted within society as nowadays’ way to ‘have a good time,’ which makes it obvious how abuse is inherent to anything that we have dubbed as ‘good time/ positive/ enjoyment’ through the use and abuse of external points such as drugs and people alike.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to label self-abuse as ‘free choice’ and ‘free will,’ which is the standard used by individuals to justify their ability to consume drugs and even ‘spite the system’ through consuming illegal drugs within the belief that such action will – in any way – ‘liberate them’ from the so-called ‘oppression’ in reality, while in fact the only thing that is being perpetuated is the constant opposition and conflict toward a world that is self-created = we are all responsible for everything that we could deem as limiting and subjugating to a ‘hierarchical power,’ which is only us subjugating ourselves to a monetary system that is does Not care about life and supporting a dignified living for all, but deliberately promotes self abuse as a way to maintain ourselves limited and caged within a very narrow spectrum of reality – which reveals that we have been the only ones that have accepted a ‘lifestyle of abuse’ as something that is cool and socially acceptable, while neglecting the harm that is being inflicted at a physical level and toward other beings when ‘making it acceptable’ to consume alcohol/ drugs within society.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to apparently ‘spite the system’ such as family, society, government/ laws by consuming ‘illegal drugs’ without realizing that if they were really a threat to promote an actual emancipation of beings, they would have been eradicated from society and any form of market – yet because they represent the greatest weapon of control and temporary fear-reliever, they are accepted as an apparent surreptitious market and industry – yet having great weight upon global economy as drugs represent one of the greatest markets with the most profit that goes un-checked and unnoticed – apparently – due to the extensive amounts of money that are involved within such so-called ‘criminal activities’ – which once again proves the reverse psychology within beings wherein: everything that is deemed to be ‘wrong’ and ‘bad’ and ‘opposing the law,’ will be embraced and promoted as a ‘self-liberating’ way to ‘be free’ and ‘be joyful’ – while neglecting that this represents falling in the very trap carefully built to enroll people within chemical addictions that become a promoter for passivity and acceptance of this reality ‘as is,’ which is no different to how spirituality promotes ‘surrendering to the here now moment’ and neglecting any form of self-responsibility toward the individual within society and the individual’s life itself, beginning with considering HOW am I harming my physical body with consuming substances that are obviously detrimental to my physical body.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘oppose the system’ and be an ‘activist’ while using alcohol, drugs and any other illegal abuse of substances as a way to reinforce my so-called antagonism toward society/ the system, which reveals that I am a perfectly mind-controlled drone that is willing to create resistance toward a system that requires such conflict to continue thriving in the same stagnant position of continual disregard toward life – without ever questioning how it is that opposition and protesting against the system has never ever had an actual effect on this world as a living-change that affects every single being in reality, which proves that I as an ‘activist’ and ‘system basher’ was only seeking my personal satisfaction and gratification to be able to deem myself to be ‘free’ while neglecting that it was through the very use and abuse of substances that I was already making a statement of: ‘I don’t really care about anyone else but me and my fun’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a religious drinker/binger in the name of personal satisfaction as a way to proclaim that ‘I am a free being! I have free will! I have free choice! I can do whatever the fuck I want!’ While obviously neglecting every bit of life that I abused in the name of such desire and need to create an Experience of ‘power’ as the ‘moreness’ of myself through deifying energy as ‘who I am’ as such fleeting moments and experiences, while defying the physical living substance that I use and simply consume as a fuel to my own personal delusions, which is absolutely unacceptable.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to promote drug consumption as a way to ‘get in touch with yourself’ which was actually only promoting ‘get drunk, get high and forget about your living reality that you breathe in’ – which is in itself proving that I have become nothing else but a single self-seeking individual that is willing to do ‘anything’ for a moment of ‘peace’ and ‘happiness’ and ‘love’ which have all proven to be the very keys to the enslavement of this reality, creating and supporting the existence of a passive and ignorant human being toward all-aspects of reality that are outside of the self-obsessed culture that we have become in reality.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to link the use of drugs and alcohol to sex and call it ‘sexy’ which means that I have been sufficiently brainwashed through media, books and everything that indicates that I am willing to accept self abuse in the name of personal satisfaction as the fleeting moment that becomes sex when stemming from mind-stimulation which in no way constitutes an actual physical Real expression of reality.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that through consuming drugs, alcohol and any other substance it is possible to ‘escape from myself,’ without realizing that it is actually within facing myself and supporting me to walk my own mind as fears and desires to ‘be free,’ that I can in-fact free myself from my own mind-limitation that is the only one that seeks such type of entertainment and ‘satisfaction’ in the name of a temporary band-aid to the existential doom that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to diminish who I am to a single fleeting moment wherein I lose all integrity as a human being while allowing me to become obsessed and possessed with the chemical influences that a single substance can create in the entirety of my human body, which reveals that I have in fact never considered the very life that allows me to continue breathing in this world and that I have only become my own enemy while having to seek ‘outlets’ as ‘diversion’ in order to ‘have fun’ and ‘enjoyment’ in separation of myself, which means that I have accepted and allowed myself to become nothing else but a mind-drone that seeks an experience at all times, while neglecting the fact that who we really are is here as breath as ourselves, in every moment that we allow the mind to be quiet yet remain self directive in our living-reality, which is absolutely possible if we walk a process to do so.

 

“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that fear is now so automated as a system, that no one can remember what started it and no one cares – because a good scare gives a physical response, a physical high, so as to get Drugs for Free – just by producing your own Fear is Heaven on Earth.

I commit myself to show that the body is always in agony due to the Mind feeding on it in various response patterns, forcing the body to produce chemicals in many ways to keep the experience of the Mind Bubble to NOT see reality – producing, just like with the use of drugs, a dreamlike state – while calling the dream of the mind real, and calling the physical that is real, a dream.

I commit myself to show that Breathing Here without using the MIND, being physical – will show how fear is a MIND JOB based on a physical addiction to the body response to the fear.” Bernard Poolman [+]

 

Thus, I commit myself to continue exposing the truth of what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become as energetic vampires that seek an experience out of virtually anything in this reality, in the name of personal satisfaction and a fleeting moment of so-called fun and enjoyment that is in no-way in relation to the physical reality that is here, tangible, breathable and doesn’t require a specific ‘state of being’ to exist.

 

I commit myself to reveal how one is able to live and exist here as a physical being without having to constantly be seeking ways to ‘feel better’ and ‘have fun’ through using/ consuming substances, alcohol, drugs or create a deliberate experience in order to satisfy ‘the senses’ which is no different to believing that who we are is eternal bliss and fueling positive thinking to create such perpetual state of actual self abuse that neglects the physical reality that is burnt as fuel in order to keep such self-created mechanisms going.

 

I commit myself to expose and reveal the ability to live without seeking for the next greatest excitement and having to be constantly living up for a future moment of ‘enjoyment’ through the use and consumption of substances, and instead show how the acceptance of self as breath here is the solution to all the problems/ desires/ experiences that would have gotten anyone to consume alcohol/ drugs, as all desires, wants and needs are created at a mind level which I am able to stand one and equal to.

 

I commit myself to promote a system – the Equal Money System – that supports all life in Equality, that supports actual living self-expression wherein no drugs, no alcohol will have to be produced as there will be no need to seek for an alternate experience other than the ability to live as heaven on earth for the very first time in our existence, as I realize that all drugs have been an attempt to mimic and false-represent a true well being that we are actually able to work for as a collective, as humanity in order to establish a Living Reality that doesn’t consume life, but supports Life as Life itself.

 

“I commit myself to show that the Human Race is yet to Wake Up and that all Mind Jobs of Self-Realization are just ways used to find a better chemical producer by the Flesh on which to continue the High of the Addiction called Personality/Individuality. It is like the Robbing of the physical flesh of its resources, as constant raping of Life, just to have Feeling – like being on Drugs.
I commit myself to show that these Addictions to substances is all the Human has ever been – and that at the moment, few will have the resolve to Break the Addictions. Fortunately, Death ends this – but, what is visited upon the children, generation after generation, is atrocities of magnitudes yet to be Realized.” – Bernard Poolman [+]

 

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Dropping the High


Creation and Responsibility

If god had not existed as part of the preprogramming in this reality, we would probably not be in such a chaotic situation in this world where we’ve made of invisible gods and money the invisible rulers of the planet – instead we would have accepted our point of responsibility within creation. “If I can’t find the origin = I must be the origin” this should be the ultimate debunker for  the entire idea of ‘God’ as the creator. Though we are here, 21st century and no real change or ‘evolution’ as many claim has taken place – right, because it won’t ‘take place’ by itself, it must be created.

 

Such evolution is unlikely to ‘happen’ according to the inherent programming we have. God was a fucker that made us with the preprogrammed belief of ‘creation is not equal to creator’ and in that, because life was not taken into consideration at the moment of understanding creation, they ended up locking themselves out of this creation as well. Figure it out, Life cannot be really subdued, only not recognized and realized within each one in Equality.

Due to not recognizing each other as one, due to being in a constant strive to ‘get to the top,’ the reality that is here as this world is being absolutely neglected to the extent of existing in an absolute alarming state in all human aspects – and no one seems to care enough. I ponder: how long can we endure this? How long will we have to wait until everyone starts caring? Probably the moment that you open your tap water and get no flow out of it or you go to a supermarket and find the shelves are empty or go to the gas station to  fill your car’s tank and find there is no oil left for a refill.

We’ve been so used to only take and take and only give paper and coins in exchange and use it self righteously as if it was a real ‘fair pay’ for it, without never really caring to know how our water is distributed, what happens to the shit when I flush it, where does my garbage go, how is electricity distributed and generated, where is the food that I’m eating coming from – and then extending it to the rest of the world like getting to know how our usually made in Bangladesh, Thailand, India clothes are the result of slave labor that can only benefit the retail store that sells it to you for a high price, only because of the brainwashing we participate in as some type of prestige and fame that the brand itself has created according to an entire propagandistic campaign that tells you what is In and out in fashion. Fashion is currently a rather fascist business that is blatantly abusing people that don’t have any other opportunity to have a decent job and the only thing that’s left is creating clothes in massive factories wherein each second is equated to a cent. Time is Money and we must place a final stop in such ‘equation.’

I watched the documentary on water and they reveal shitty facts about Mexico City. I actually live quite near to one of the devastated areas with what once was like ‘Venezia’ with great methods used in pre-hispanic times for agriculture. Now it’s known that if one dives in there and you’ll get all types of diseases like cholera – yet food is still grown there. Negligence is everywhere,  not considering that resources are not precisely renewable. The environment in this city is living proof of the inconsideration upon the environment and resources available here. The most basic principles are still not lived at all.

I have been giving my garbage to the same men for almost 5 years now, they know me and I see how because of the regard I have toward their job I’ve developed this way of greeting them every morning and smiling as if that could make their lives and jobs ‘less miserable,’  I have written about this point specifically yet, it seems that they do appreciate the fact that one can say more than the usual ‘thank you’ and giving some coins as if that was our ‘compensation’ for the job they do.  So, all I have to do is change the starting point of me not feeling ‘sorry’ for them and simply express in that moment.

I’ve probably expressed before how they should get at least the best pay in the current system because of what they have to do , but this wouldn’t be ‘acceptable’ within the current fucked up value system wherein people that are ‘well prepared’ and have master’s degrees are the ones that get the most rewards by the system for sitting on a chair and pretending they care to be an actual example of what it is to create solutions in this world. Not at all. It’s very common to see that people with jobs like garbage men, general cleaning workers or in construction smoke weed for the sake of ‘getting by’ in their reality. This is also common for public transportation drivers, people working in grocery stores, 9-9 businesses selling random stuff. If we dare to look at the amount of people being in some type of drug, we would realize that almost everyone is in some form of drug and that it is the only way that everyone is ‘coping with reality’ instead of finding a solution.

I was lying on the floor of my room, I  saw  a note I took on from some other documentary: 900 million cars are in this world – holy fuck! Is there any viable solution to keep filling each car’s tank? Do we simply have to Stop? And as I was pondering about this and many other problems we’re facing in this world, getting myself in a momentary mindfuck of ‘there is no way we can continue this way,’ when everything began moving around me,  it was an earthquake just  few hours ago, the Earth literally shook the ground beneath me. I snapped out of it and went outside – all is fine around here and it was a literal wake up call to not indulge into these experiences.

 

We go back to the initial point: why only seeking to bail ourselves out instead of taking the wheel of the car and changing the entire fucked up structure of this reality? Why only focusing on case-specific situations in our world to ‘create solutions.’ Sure I mean, we have seen the ‘hero of the year’ on CNN with people trying to eradicate slavery, but it won’t work as permanent solution because it’s just putting on the infamous band aid while the wound is deep to the core of the entire system. Same with ‘peace prizes,’why having to implement ‘peace’ while we could be creating a permanent solution that creates living conditions that are honorable for everyone and with that end all forms of disputes between humans –  why then having to make of such actions that should be everyone’s responsibility a matter of ‘awards’ and pompous events sponsored by corporations that are most likely responsible for the direct permanence of the abuse they could be reflecting upon in the show.

It’s certainly Not the way to go and we’ve made of any possible solution just another race for fame and glory, not really considering the whole picture that is ourselves as well.

What I watched on CNN in a show called ‘Bullying Stops Here’ with the so-called ‘sane’ people in American TV like Anderson Cooper and Doctor Phil, we see how they try to address the bullying problem, bringing the kids to expose their stories only to generate more feelings of condescendence ending it all with creating some type of ‘reward’ to the suffering they have to endure after they exposed how they’re hit, peed on and cursed at every single day, without having any solution coming from ‘teachers’ or parents as ‘authorities’ being able to solve the problem. Instead Anderson makes space for the kid to sing a Lady Gaga song so that the show ends with this ‘sweet taste’ in people’s heads like ‘oh, poor kids but he got to sing and be applauded for it, how nice was that!’ then change the channel and forget about it all. Same with the rest of the kids that exposed how they were picked on due to apparent sexual preferences, race, size, being ‘intelligent’ in school etc. I can relate to the latter, I never experienced it as intense as these kids do, but I definitely know how much others’ comments can ‘lower your self esteem’ if not ready to face such words and support ourselves to not take them personal.

All of this makes us ask the ultimate question: what we we doing to ourselves? Our kids are becoming bullies or bullied without there being a ‘solution’ because: it all begins at home!  The world is simply reflecting back the disregard and negligence we have toward ourselves, abusing ourselves in any means possible, seeking for ways to ‘cope with reality’ without taking self responsibility to Change it/ Correct it in a sustainable way.

 

As long as we remain subdued by the imaginary and fictional story of money having more power than life, we’ll remain with the same constrictions that we’ve created almost in a masochistic way to remain in separation, to remain absolutely hating each other and getting used to the idea of ‘this life being this way’ and that’s it, no more ‘questions’ about it. I mean, that’s how my parents were probably educated, they educated me the same way and that’s now the reason why I must be the point that stops from perpetuating the same old ways on to future generations. We cannot possibly continue this way and unless we vow ourselves to take humanity through this correctional process, we will simply cease to exist – not by any ‘mysterious’ condition, but as the result of the consequences of our actions reaching the top and overflowing in an inevitable end to the entire human drama.

I said to myself at least 3 times today: the problem is the human being –as without us, non of this would be happening on Earth. We are the problem = we must be the solution and using the homeopathic principle of ‘like cures like’ we use Money as the point to cure the atrocities that have been perpetuated by money itself, by changing its principle and base foundation of existence – from debt and a tool to subjugate to an accounting tool to make life available for everyone equally.

We don’t require ‘spiritual gods’ or any other light and love belief system to take self responsibility, it is in fact through accepting our self responsibility that we can stop looking up above for answers and start caring for what goes on here on Earth.

Becoming part of the solution begins with each one of us, the more we wait, the more shit will hit the fan. We must stand together, we must learn how to work together and work with our ‘differences’ individually, until we are able to stand within one single principle that rules this entire reality: Equality as Life – as all as One as Equal. That is the universal law that must be practically lived in this world and for that, human beings must love each other as neighbors, for real.


“If you create something, you should give it responsibility as well”
– Bernard Poolman


The ‘Feel Good’ times

I fooled myself so many times trying to seek something of ‘meaning’ and ‘value’ outside of myself that I ended up looking for ‘something’ that could make sense of this world in almost every single religion, philosophy, gnosticism, physical practices and anything that I could use as a point of giving myself some meaning and purpose in a world where nothing made sense to me.

I got stuck into spirituality for quite a while using it as a way to not face my physical reality while placing all my attention into that which I thought was ‘real’ as the intangible realm where the “true self” existed – quite a paradox in terms of the definition of reality, yet I tricked myself very well into my own belief systems.

I can read my writings from that time and they are all filled with words that could be nice enough to sell hallmark cards. I hid behind words that sounded pretty enough to be  a constant attempt to speak like walking poetry and in that, becoming another brick on the wall of the false-portrayal of what is here as this world, becoming comfortable in sugar-coating this reality. I hid behind knowledge that made me feel special, superior, ‘all knowing’ and almost ‘too good’ to be in the physical world.

I thought of my body as a cage and in that, I did nothing else but separating myself from it further and further, keeping myself busy in my mind, building up a personality that I could present on to others as ‘who I am’ and be excused for not fitting in, for having this ‘kind-hearted’ way of being wherein I saw myself as a living tarot card, a ‘guide’ of sorts or a guru living in the modern times just so that I could be and remain  ‘special’ for those people in my world who would also support this mindset of mine.

I dug the nice spot I built for myself: thinking positively, seeking love, talking about the realm of the intangible and trying to find some freedom from this ‘oppressive world’ through following my greatest excitement. I made of my life a series of self-created fleeting moments and coincidences that could keep me trapped believing that all of it would make sense someday, that I was following a certain pattern as one of the many life lessons that I had to fulfill to eventually complete my ‘mission’ in this world. Yes, no different to being playing  a a game of sorts. I got to be quite obsessive about numbers, names, people, ‘meant-to-be’ experiences in my reality, books, pictures – I was thinking my reality through a filter of some ‘divine hand’ guiding it all. I never realized I was doing it all for myself in fact.

Apparently, god’s mission for me was being nothing else but a fucked up energy interrupter that could go up to the ‘highest excitement’ and then drop down to the deepest pit of denial and misery wherein I would mostly seek to get back on top again through self-created experiences.

Fascinating that I sought people that could feel exactly the same way I did, so that we could all delude ourselves into a comfortable foggy existence wherein we could agree that ‘the world is fucked because there must be a reason for such people to suffer,’ and where karma became the most comfortable belief I took on to not feel ‘bad’ – or even daring to think of myself as responsible – about seeing poor people on the streets.  I would say to myself ‘They must be paying some bad actions from a previous life, they are not only ‘there’ because of this world being fucked, no. There is a higher reason and purpose for it.” Yes, it could be embarrassing to share this but I’ve walked through the points so I’m simply sharing them as they were – no strings attached as I can only recall the general aspects of my reality back then, which was subdued not only because of all the belief systems I was integrating within myself, but because of the daily habits of seducing myself into the realm of the intangible where I could justify it with artistic explorations and solace in the multiple coincidences that I could take on as ‘signs’ indicating that I was on ‘the right path.’ A bunch of crap obviously.

Hiding in spirituality was a great thing for the sake of keeping an acceptable personality that is pretty noble and smiley and seeking beauty all around – literally – that made me popular in my family for a while, lol. What no one really knew is that such happiness wasn’t the ‘naturally good spirited me,’ it was self induced by means that are not necessarily endorphins or a genuine sense of self fulfillment, but more like in a sense of fool-fill-ment through smoking weed as that was the only way that I thought I could ‘get to understand’ reality, that I could be relaxed and enjoying while making of every moment like an episode in a life-series of events wherein I would eventually finish the ‘quest’ by obtaining some type of ‘superior knowledge’ and become super enlightened and be blissfully happy ever after. All of it was a major reverend fuckup.

Now, I’m not recriminating this to myself, it’s taken me years to be able to be writing this out the same way that I could write about my day today and how I got partially intimidated when walking past three older males wherein I realized oh fuck I’m still reacting to seeing men walking down the street with certain aspects that I could consider ‘attractive’ – you know? that type of experiences that are just like regular for human beings lol.

Why I’m writing this today is because I tend to create some type of self-evaluation according to the time of the year. 4 Years ago around these days I was into conspiracies and pretty much starting to believe that something marvelous would happen in ‘4 years time’ and that we were only waiting for it all to unfold in such a nice and blissful way that it would blow all our troubles away, and wash our suffering with some type of magical dust that we could snort and be eternally fulfilled with.  Yes, that’s only an exaggeration of how I thought of this world and reality back then.

Though it was actually through conspiracy theories that I started stepping out of the usual mysticism I had cultivated and getting into knowing the facts that I had absolutely dismissed my entire life. It was a time where I began being ‘afraid’ of the unknown once again because of seeing how there were all of these secret societies trying to control the world and how we were only puppets putting up the show while others moved the strings at their will. Once again, we got really into it and spent several days researching while having our usual past-times doing the regular stuff like ‘being creative’ and pondering about our ‘meant to be’ lives together. Yes I’m talking about the friend/partner that I’d spent almost my entire day with.

One night we actually stumbled upon a Desteni video, a Hitler’s video yet we only saw the beginning as the entire breathing in out freaked him out and took it as a joke. I wanted to see more but, hell, I was quite a submissive one back then and wasn’t  in my full senses either to be self-directive enough – so I complied and allowed the point to just ‘sweep away.’ We really got ourselves into this weird mind state wherein we thought we were discovering the greatest secrets of the world at last, we went around the reptilian point several times which was something that I had definitely considered as a nice myth to entertain humans and nothing else. We all now know how that went  on in reality.

I started getting more interested in meaningful dates and years like 2012 and the mayan calendar which was explained by Ian Xel Lungold while he was alive, and I certainly got hooked on his explanations about it. I devoured his lectures, so I sought for more and in doing that, bam! I found Desteni’s videos on the mayan calendar with Ian Xel Lungold from the afterlife. That was the first video that I saw, I got so excited I texted my mother about it, I almost pee myself out of the excitement as it was just mindblowing for me to be having such characters speaking through the portal. Again channeling was something ‘familiar’ to me, so I didn’t even question that point at the time. I proceeded to register at the forum and began my daily marathons of watching all the material while rolling a joint for the sake of ‘being able to handle the truth.’ It was quite a nice timing as I was completely alone in my apartment during the winter break of my second year in art school. I never thought that my life as I knew it would change forever from that day on.

After 4 years I am grateful that I found Desteni right before I was going to be really screwed-into spirituality and other forms of ‘enlightenment’ or training myself to be some kind of healer, tarotist, or a plain deluded mystic while pretending to make some type of art that could be ‘sacred enough’ to awaken other human beings. I realize I cannot judge myself for all of this because they were all steps that lead me to where I am now, which is still here and facing myself, taking self responsibility which was a non-existent point before this.

It was 4 years ago that I tried my first acid and with that, I thought I had discovered the reality that I had sought for such a long time, everything fit and I felt just like a guru that ‘hits home’ at last. I felt special, I felt that I had to recommend that to everyone – and in fact I did – that was the only thing I required to experience to see that there was ‘something else’ that I was being subdued from. In a way it was an experience that lead me to see a bit beyond my own limitations, so all in all they were part of the game and I took the experiences as part of the same bridge to get to this point.

Now after having told the nice side of story, let’s get the points cracking. I essentially used spirituality as a form of superiority where I could have some sort of ‘control’ over this reality through knowledge, never ever considering that I was actually supporting the entire enslavement of this reality just by keeping myself well deluded in spiritual topics. I neglected the entire world, I could only ‘feel bad’ about other people’s situations, yet saw myself as too incapable to do something about it. That’s how I would feel when watching all those conspiracy theories and such, I saw myself as incapable of becoming a point of change and I only saw ‘spirituality’ as a potential way to solve the problems of this world. It’s not that I never really ‘cared’, I did, but didn’t care for myself and didn’t even consider that I had to first accept and support myself as the individual that I am. I was seeking so much ‘outside of myself’ that I was completely neglecting my own life and reality which is what we now know is what must be taken as a point of Self Responsibility before anything else.

That’s how I began walking this process, as awkward as it was to sit on my bed and beginning to read Veno’s self forgiveness statements as a training point to see how to do it and how it ‘worked.’ From that moment on, it’s been a process of learning through trial and error which is what this process is about. We’re not wanting to keep everyone of us in a certain type of confinement, we actually learn through facing our reality while having the support and necessary tools to see how we can direct ourselves in a way that is best for all.

And for this and many other reasons I’m grateful for finding Desteni, this is just one of the main aspects of it which is stepping out of my habits/ addictions and faith in the spiritual realms. I instead realized I had to do this for myself and this was probably the most valuable point anyone could have ever let me know about.

Thanks for reading and visit the desteni forums to check out what I’m talking about.

personalmythology


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