Tag Archives: who are we

2012 Existential Anguish: Solved

Me Myself MarlenLife

 

Here I share about this photo that had no description or explanation when I first made it and uploaded it on December 22nd, 2011 – to me it just seemed like another ‘anguished representation’ of a general experience that I’ve had – and most certainly every human being has had – throughout my life, wherein this ‘existential anguish’ became something that I could not ‘pin point’ yet it was definitely Here as myself, not knowing why or what I could possibly be so ‘sad’ about. It wasn’t even sadness either, it wasn’t a depression either – This was ‘something else.’

 

When I was reading Sunette’s blog, and this specific quote  it all just clicked and this image that I had surreptitiously posted on Facebook as a way to share how I would experience myself at times wherein it’s not a personal anguish, because there was nothing ‘going on’ within my personal life – but a general/ existential anguish which would come through most of the art I have created – always depicting suffering and humanity in some form of massive enslavement – and I had no understanding within myself on why I was drawing this, why I had such a constant drive to draw the same type of themes, while getting a constant experience of being dismal about reality.

 

So, now understanding reality and all the latest interviews and Sunette’s blogs have allowed me to understand everything that I ever sought to understand and there’s a phrase that I’ve been having on a constant basis while reading, hearing, understanding who I am here: all makes sense now, and it’s a great relief as much as it is a great duty to be informed and essentially, preparing myself because I’ve never been so sure about something in my life. I cannot even recognize who the hell I was in the past, feeling lost and so afraid of the world and people – and this is not a magic-wand type of realization: it’s taken time and I’m sure that as time progress we can only go asserting ourselves more and more within this process.

 

Why is it a ‘weight off’ of my back to understand this? Because I could experience this constant friction and conflict within myself without a reason. I always got to read/ hear people’s stories that made sense as to why they would be depressed, or sad and generally self-destructive in their lives due to their contexts, but I always had a ‘good life’ and I simply got to believe that I was being just an attention seeker and spoiled brat trying to be a drama queen. But no, it wasn’t that either… it was definitely something beyond even a point of self manipulation as I mostly would keep it to myself, and actually play the ‘forte’ one with/ toward people that were ‘truly depressed’ by their self-created circumstances – yes, everything we have ever experienced has been Self-Created.

 

So – to me this is understanding more of myself, what I was expressing, which made me ‘excited’ and still a little jump on my chest comes up when I bring ‘here’ that moment when reading Sunette’s blog The Forward March to HELL: DAY 28  and it all just suddenly clicked as I had have a general concern about not knowing ‘why I paint that’ – It’s one of the ‘lost pieces in the puzzle’ that I had sought in books, spirituality, philosophy, people, personal heroes and only now it is all coming together so that I can finally stop my personal mysteries and focus on that which is actually relevant, which doesn’t have anything to do with seeking some great truth behind art – I’m done with that, this is about Self-Realization – Self-Creation as a physical being that essentially can continue living here, breathing, walking all relationships back to Self wherein no more separation as relationships exist.

 

The truth is that when I go stopping all past definitions as ‘who I was,’ I in fact remain and more ‘human’ than ever as a living flesh that is no longer torturing itself with mindful gaps that would occupy my mind on a constant basis at times in my past.

 

I am the one that is able to now ensure that I stop all forms of EXPERIENCE toward the separation that I’ve ‘felt’ as myself, as this world and coming along with the usual dreary experience when seeing people not caring about each other, people striving to make a living, people living and begging for money on the streets, animals being hit by their owners, children being hit by their parents, people fighting and cursing at each other for no reason, people competing against each other and never even questioning WHY we can’t just Be Life.

 

So – the death and destruction now makes sense to me as I see that I’ve done this all to myself and it’s in my hands to now stop it, walk my process of writing on a daily basis, applying Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Application, so that all that I go realizing as the separation that I’ve become can finally be brought back to self, wherein I take Self-Responsibility to ensure that Life is never again dissociated from who we really are as physical beings.

 

I invite everyone reading these words to check out the afore mentioned blog and all of our blogs that are being pressed on a daily basis as the commitment that we as Destonians have taken on as Our Lives.

 

As far as art-creation, I’ll continue making it but I now can stop actually experiencing that as an energetic possession that was driving me mad – and instead, walk the points of separation as myself, as my own words and still be able to depict it in a picture/ drawing/ painting as the result of realizing how blind we have become and propose the solution that can be walked by All in the name of Life in Equality.

 

The World is Not going to end – the only thing that will end is our human negligence and disregard for each other which most certainly needs to meet its end in each and every one of ourselves.

Walk with us

Journey to Life

“Advantages of Blogging – it makes sure the disadvantages does not manifest as backchat/shame – but, seriously though – it’s cool seeing the days go as you walk – lol; and with continuing walking it’s like – man, I can’t turn back or stop now, because I know if I will, all that I have done this far will mean nothing, and will have to start again – so, you just keep on writin’/moving and becomes more natural each passing day” Sunette Spies

 

Self Forgiveness is the Key to STOP All our Existential Woes and actually Get back on Track to what must be done in order for us to finally be able to say: We are Here and we are ALIVE

Some other quotes I’ve taken from Sunette’s blogs that allowed me to understand more about myself:

Vlog:
2012 Existential Woes – Stop and Know Yourself

If you want to hear a very simplistic explanation of this process, get the following interview:

Reptilians – Where does Relationships come from – Part 40

 

HEAR Great Music made by Destonians

Earthonites-Jealousy

 

And a cool blog to walk the correction:

Day 2: Perfection Game
Glorifying the Devil as the Nature of God: Day 36
Day 36: Heaven on Earth

I recommend hearing the following interview to make sure you don’t miss out on your own life and only realize when it is too late.

Life Review – When Life turns its back on You

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2012 Death in every breath until life is all that remains

 

Realizing how we have suppressed and caged life within and by our own minds, creating the entire reality as that suppression of life, as the control of life in order to remain easily numbed by the perception of having to ‘attain’ something in separation of ourselves, while missing out the whole that is here as self.

 

This process is the realization of that ability we have to create ourselves and must not be taken lightly – I can only share it and if one is willing to live it, one will hear and walk along.


The world is divided and conquered within tagging on our ‘personal lifestyle’ – so the way to go is equalizing our lifestyle and world into equality. Words are the key here – one single sentence as one single rhyme that points out we have created this mess and lies, and that there’s no time to rest. We perceived we lost the key, while the key has been always here, beneath our eyes and above our mouths – breathing, living, realizing ourselves as the physical living flesh that has been tampered with our mind maze.

 

The consequences of our own imprisonment cannot be taken lightly as it is with this light that we have shaded reality; love and light we used as misleading words into an illusion of grandeur, a bubble of ethereal self interest that never considered that this physical reality is as real as us having to eat in order to continue living in.

 

Be that point of change you want to see in your world – you’ve got the common sense, so why keeping it to yourself? Dare to create a shift within yourself as who knows if there will be a ‘next’ time for that –

 

Stand as the sound that enables self-realization and gets to the ears the ones that are willing to Hear, to be Here, stopping spreading the ‘vibes’ that promote vile-ends within rhymes that forget that the one we oppose can only be myself within this ‘role’ of playing games to satisfy the lies that have kept sterilized from common sense, within the belief that we could only be ‘free’ with all the money and fueling each other’s greed.

 

Choose life – stop battling and self-loathing in a world wherein war is the ever presence in the back of our own heads.

Reflecting decay at all time – what have we accepted caged Life with? Some ideas as roles that oppose each other, that can love and hate and praise and loath from one blink of an eye to the next – is that what life is actually about? 

 

Our words are a self-supportive mirror that we can share in order to learn how to use words as self-support, not as carriers of the same old songs that delivered no actual support to this world that we built with every single word, that we mostly spoke out of scorn – never realizing that it was only self-here – the whole is the whole and there is nothing to be empty of. 

 

Standing up for Life  is not to fight, oppose or defend, it is about becoming aware that in order for us to live we have to take on every word, deed and thought we have powered within and by ourselves – and thus breath by breath we start to see that all that exists as life is me.

Ask yourself: what’s the substance that is moving me at the moment to exist? What drives me to create? Who am I within this point of expression? Is there a way that I can express this common sense within this expression that I create as myself ? If there is any fear of loss, you can know there is a limitation based on preserving an ‘idea’ of who we are – not yet realizing who self is as one and equal here and cannot be bent.

Reinventing is allowing ourselves to live and die in every moment of breath – daring to step into the unknown here as the integration of all missed bits of self here (life) and slowly but surely stop and leave the old behind (death.) Afterwards, only that which is real will remain: self-as-life here equal-and-one.

 
Applying this to everything we do and what will we get? 

Death of that self-protected idea of self as the necessary step for life to emerge – we are the only ones that built up the cage. Delivering the message of self responsibility is and must be a living extension if self realization is lived here, in every breath as self willing self to live  – self-expression that emerges as words that we have all longed to hear and live, yet never dared to figure out that: we are able to live them  if we simply stop and forgive ourselves to see that the the reconciliation is only one breath away.

That’s how it’s fascinating that everything I do/ say and think creates myself and my own experience in this reality, what a perfect way to trap yet support ourselves to inevitably be starring at ourselves the whole time, to not be able to break the mirror in a mind-blasting scene, but having to inevitably face it and live the correction until the reflection that I see is no longer an idea bound to ideas, judgments, fears, perceptions of and as a defined image of the mind – We are able to stand as self equal and one here, wherein the reflection is no more, because the mirror will hold no reflection any longer.

Once there is no image to correct – we’ll know there are no more definitions left, as self here would have pieced the puzzle back together again.

 

We have this lifetime to realize that: every moment counts, every breath is the opportunity to liberate the life that we have caged in all the bits of limitation that we created of ourselves as our mind. The mind is not the enemy, it is the perfect mirror to trap ourselves within an inevitable reflection of which we have all the tools to equalize ourselves to.

Who we are here requires no praise and no worship, no belief – who we are here is self-evident and the points to correct begin within ourselves, and emerge from the layers of self deceit, if we are self-honest enough to dare and see.

If you equalize yourself as the words you speak, people that can hear, will hear. Words are the carriers of the message, we become and stand as the voices that stir the wheel.

Jesus said  ‘love thy neighbor as thyself’ – ‘give to another what you would like to receive’ –  his message was ridiculed, opposed and later on turned into a 2000 + year old empire that stands against the basic message that he left. It is suggested to not become part of the ones that ridiculed life as you can only be mining out on creating your own destiny and ability to live.

We are the ‘second coming’ that is here as all of us, to finally birth life as the physical.  Ask yourself:
Do I want to live or do I want to die? That’s the question we all have to ask ourselves in every moment of breath here.

Let this not be words that come and go as the ebb and flow that our mind tends to only be stirred up with, but become the one that stirs the wheel in the only certain outcome that will remain in this world and reality: life in reality as what’s best for all in all ways, self here.

Breathing ourselves here

 

Reptilians – The Death and Rebirth of Self – Part 12


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