Tag Archives: wholeness

638. A Redefined Spirituality

 

 The following is inspired by the writings of a life  colleague –  as I am now deciding to define him – who shared a lengthy letter to me as a response to something that I wrote him in an intent to assist in seeing the blueprint of the points that I consider were veiling him from seeing through the steps to get back into an ownership of his self creation and self awareness,  which he has walked in his very own set of paths of ways – but interestingly enough, we have found each other having the same intent and purpose in our lives which we will be joining in an common project where we can share more of our personal experiences and processes with many more that might find themselves in the same kind of ‘holes’ in our creative processes that we have both acknowledged having been limited by in our creative paths of inner and outer creations.  

To give some context to this self forgiveness, this is a reflection of what I see of myself in his words and speaks to anyone that can identify themselves with being ‘a seeker’ or someone that seeks meaning to one’s own existence, to one’s own creation in many ways and paths and if not getting to live their potential, it becomes a source of emotional and detrimental experiences such as falling generally ‘ill’ in the form of lacking direction and purpose, being stagnant in expression, losing sight of the ‘bigger picture’ in life, being veiled by emotions such as dread, depression, sadness, despair and in a way blaming everyone else that doesn’t seem to care for life and the world as oneself as the source for our own apathy and frustration, not realizing we are ‘it’ ourselves too in living out that character of disempowerment and helplessness and victimization.

 To sum up, it reminded me a lot of the path that I’ve also walked and that it’s still part of me and I have not forgotten it, I just have in a way stepped out of the cocoon and see things quite differently now, but it is as if I am embarking myself in this new project and walking with him in this project in this phase of my life because our will was mightier than the limitations that we many times fell into, and I’m genuinely glad and happy to see him slowly but surely realizing these things and taking on his creative path again, which I recognize that I have to do myself in my own self imposed limitations as well, and it’s great to have someone to walk such path with, someone that understands the seemingly ‘similar’ kind of patterns that some of us ‘creative’ people go through, but many often give up half way and get lost in the midst of ‘the fog’ and don’t persevere enough to see through the illusions to remain ‘with the finger in line’ as he says, living one’s expression and will, despite the nature of everything and everyone around us as it currently exists, but being courageous enough to understand things at a deeper level and hold that little flame alive within us no matter what, and let each other know ‘hey I am here, I understand, I walk with, let’s work together’ which is quite priceless and unique to find seemingly ‘out of nowhere’ and here is to say as well that coincidences don’t exist, only what we determine ourselves to be and do which eventually takes us to where we need to be to fulfill that which we set ourselves to live.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep quiet and wait for someone else to make the decisions of what I should be and do and within that, diminishing bit by bit my determination to express and take responsibility for the decisions that I make and what I live in my life, which I realize diminished my ability to live me and bit by bit dried the flow of the abundant river that I have always been aware exists as me, as the life that I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect myself into experiences of despair and arguing for my limitations in neglect cultivating my own confidence and stance that has always been here as myself, it just got clouded by the emotions that became the comfortable way to justify not living the potential of who I really am as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make of my mind my own obstacle that created shame, anger, despair, uncertainty and sadness which I realize is the way in which I now realize are the ingredients to create resistance,  which my mind creates in greed of energy and in allowing that, I stepped further and further away from actually getting to do what I know and have always been aware of is the truth of my being, what I can and need to direct myself to be, live and express.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a comfort zone in remaining skeptical and not want to intervene in my own life in order to not have to take responsibility for myself, not realizing that this seemingly ‘comfortable zone’ led me to sink deeper in a hole where I alienated myself from my own wholeness, from my own power as the capacity to direct myself, to intervene in my own life, to decide to change if something wasn’t working anymore, to innovate in the way that I can decide to live me and within that acknowledging the work, dedication, consistency and will that it will require to create and live myself as the best that I can be. That’s what self-creation is all about.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be-lie-ve the statement ‘nothing really matters’ as a way to avoid myself in taking action in all the things that I knew I had to take action on in my life to be and become the better version of myself.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to have been in great thirst of knowledge and information in an attempt to find a way to change the way that I am and how I see and understand life, not realizing how I only inflated my mind with it, but I wasn’t really learning and applying how to really nurture my soul and being in the daily actions, words and habits that I realize I have to take action on in order to live the best of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately over complicate myself with theories, ideas, beliefs and philosophies which I realize may assist in our paths, but can also create new excuses where we miss out the common sense that always exists within ourselves, we just have to decide to let go of wanting to ‘seek out there’ and instead start getting to ‘what’s inside of me’ and write myself to see who I really am, what I really want to do, defining my purpose, defining my drive and take the first steps to do so in my reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I know many things but not really getting to understand the steps, the process it takes to interiorize, to integrate, to live the awareness of the things I realized in my life. I realize it takes actual change, work and effort to live the words that I get through realizations.

I forgive myself that I had not accepted and allowed myself to realize how ‘realizing’ and understanding something invariably leads to the next step which is to take action on it, to not only be infatuated in an enlightening idea or momentary experience, but to embrace and direct that impetus to create the actual change in space and time and take the necessary steps to do so in order to honor the path that took me to get to realize, see and understand what I now see, realize and understand.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allow myself to define me and allow myself to be dictated by the construct and concept of time, by the illusion of having to remain ‘current’ according to that abstraction which time is – which we have created in means to control ourselves. I realize we create time, we decide how we live time in this reality, but I no longer allow myself to be dictated by it and what I should feel or experience according to the idea I have around it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to isolate myself in a bottle of complexities where I believed no one else cared, no one would understand or listen and in that, miss out the many opportunities to connect , share and get to know others, because of becoming my own living judgment of seeing everything as ‘lost and pointless’ and not seeing that in doing so, I wasn’t getting anywhere else but became more detached from myself, from my own reality and from getting to understand ‘the other’ as myself too.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become lazy and apathetic to continue discovering the wonders of who we are and can be and become, and instead to become sad at the apathy I saw in others, not realizing that in doing so, I became equal to what I was only seeing in them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become the epitome of hope in despair, where I gave myself up in the wait for something or someone else to show me the way, to tell me what to do and not take responsibility to be my own director, my own guide, my own master that is self-created – not following, not taught, but simply learning from others’ experiences and making them my own by testing them out to see if they work or not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the idea of lack as an excuse and as a determining factor of my being where I placed myself into a survival mode  that turned me into a selfish and ruthless being, becoming fearful, anxious and angry at myself for knowing that this ‘lack’ is entirely self created and that no one else is doing this to myself, but me.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not give me the gift of Understanding another, because I realize that I can’t hate another if I understand how we all have created this in separation of who we really are as life. I now realize that Understanding is one of the most profound and liberating gifts we can give to ourselves.

I forgive myself as everyone else in our weaknesses and fractured beingness because as big as the weaknesses and fractures are, these cannot override the virtues that we actually are and can develop as the new nature of our being. This is self-creation, it is not born from perfection, but from the decision to overcome the complexities, the falls, the mistakes, the wrongdoings, the self-neglect.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to neglect the dedication it requires to get to understand how we function in our minds and our being, because that in itself reveals our truth and as such, it becomes the most useful thing to do and dedicate our lives to cultivate.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not continue cultivating my own understanding to direct and create my own healing process and within that, cultivate my own self-awareness,  to no longer be defined and limited by survival in this world as a justification to not live the wholeness of myself in  my day to day and in every moment of breath.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to redefine spirituality as a sincere and grounded way to define and create my own being, to create the habits and methods to continue developing my self-awareness in every moment of my existence, to be in contact with my being, my body and to create an awareness of the effect that my thoughts, words and deeds create in my reality. I realize I can do this without the need of crystalized dogmas and instead can be lived by a simple and consistent dedication in developing these supportive habits of being in contact with myself and taking full ownership of my capacity to define, reinvent, innovate and reconstruct myself, because no one else can do this for me, but myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to live determination and do the hard work that it takes to live this process of creating my own life and self awareness, because I realize it requires courage and determination and I believed myself to be devoid of these. Now I realize we all have what is needed, that we all can live these words and that’s the living faith in which I decide to live in, to be the driving force of my capacity, will and determination to do that which I know and realize are the building blocks to the creation of who I really want to be as the expression of the wholeness that I go creating and expressing in my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having been ashamed in being the one that is not following the same path as everyone else, but instead decided  to swim against the flow, going into the opposite direction while everyone seemed to not care or see where they are being led to.  Now I realize, see and understand that this very will, determination and decision to keep going ‘against all odds’ got me to where I am today, where I now open my eyes to see that there is no shame at all in living my own truth even if no one seemed to care or understand, because it’s not about others but about my own decision to live me, to express that care, that love which is sufficient to live the truth of who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up many times in the many creative ways that I pursued at some point in my life, not realizing that I can work things, that I can implement changes and innovate in my life to keep that living flame alive even if it only seems to lighten up my own face. I realize that this is what living me and expressing me means, to do it because of myself and for nothing and no one else other than the expression of the potential that is unleashed when one decides to live unconditionally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret the perceived’ wasted time’ when I neglected the essentially creative capacity that I am and that I have. I now realize that such ‘wasted time’ was part of the process and the many roads that have led me to be and become who I am here, that I can start where I am – in every moment, in every new breath – and to realize that in any moment, I can only be the one that drives me or becomes my own worst-enemy and limitation to do this as an expression of myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that frustration is a symptom of the incomprehension of my own self movement, and that stagnation is no more than the nature of all sickness that manifests when I don’t allow myself to flow and be the water that flows, that reclaims its natural will to express, to flow, to be, to adapt, to move and embody the realization that its movement never ceases, because I’m not defined by a measure of time – I embrace the creation of the potential that I decide to live and cultivate as the everlasting self that always remains here, just like the water in the world.

I forgive myself for living out my weaknesses and for allowing them to affect others in their own lives. I now decide to work on the changes, the habits, the actions that will turn them into actual strengths.

I realize that I can only get through in my life if I place my own faith back on myself as the recognition of my capacity to change my reality and the outcome of my life through the work that I can dedicate myself to do every day in order to honor the wholeness of my being, to no longer be trapped in the experience of lack and all its unfulfilled concepts that I had allowed myself to believe and be enslaved by.

I now take ownership of my own discipline and self-creation moved by the love that I realize I can express in my work and the enjoyment that I imprint on it and on myself in doing so.  I commit myself to become the author and creator of all of this that celebrates the manifestation of what and who I realize I really am at a fundamental and existential level as life itself.

I understand and realize that time is only a measure of earthly oxidation, however even if I deteriorate, it does not define my stance and who I am as I keep my finger at it, becoming and living the drive that has got me to where I am here today, because no matter what: I remain current.

I decide to trust myself in my decisions, my actions, the paths that I decide to walk, embrace the ups and downs it may entail because I decide to trust myself in being able to learn from it and expand my expression through that, because I realize that that’s what living life is all about.

 

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252. Self Forgiveness on UnWholeliness

Continuing from:

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to live and align myself to the Law of the Physical that Governs who we are/ what we are as a complete, perfect awareness as Law and instead, having followed through with laws that have been created by/ through the mind that does not have any regard for the physical, but only use it as a resource for its own functioning and survival, which is how and why we have led us to the current problem in this world/ reality, because we have followed the mind-made laws instead of having observed the physical and aligned ourselves to it/ as part of it, as an equal-system of perfect symbiotic relationships.

Nature and Symbiosis

When left to operate naturally, the plant and animal world exist in a symbiotic relationship with each other. Symbiosis is, in essence, a giving and receiving – a form of value exchange. When all parts of nature are allowed to exist in a symbiotic way – they together exist as a massive and complex life-support system, which human beings are meant to be a part of.

A profit-driven system has altered how we view and participate in nature, where we have started to take more than we require and virtually stopped giving back, hereby disrupting the balancing effect nature requires in order to be able to perform its function as a symbiotic life-support system.

source: equalmoney.org

Text quoted in Bernard Poolman’s blog Creation’s Journey To Life  Day 252*

“The Law of the Physical that Governs the Physical – is Complete, Perfect, Awareness as Law. Thus, it Functions Equally for All in Every Way. Originally the Earth was a Planet of Sound, which means: Wholeness, which Inherently Existed as All the Laws of Wholeness.”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard the laws of the physical out of ignorance, wherein I adopted the way of conceiving laws and regulations based on self interest, based on a monetary system that hasn’t functioned at the best interest of all – disregarding the basic functions that have enabled fauna and flora and this entire ecosystem as the Earth to continue existing, which is the ability to freely get/ obtain the resources that are required to live, and that it is us as human beings that have violated such rules in the name of personal gain and self interest as greed, which means we violated the laws of the physical and as such, are facing the consequences of having denied equal access to all our equals in this world to have a dignified living condition.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow through with what was placed as ‘advancements’ and ‘progress’ in our reality, wherein I accepted things as ‘they are’ and believed that there was people behind such decisions ensuring they would be best for all and taking care they would not cause damage/ harm, without realizing that the moment that we created profit/ gain as a form of superiority above other living forms, we created the greatest violation to the physical laws, which is the violation of what is Here, regardless of any mind thinking about it.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to ponder the mind as a greater form of intelligence over any other life form, without realizing that the Mind’s basic functioning is to precisely regard itself as ‘more’ than any other species, which is one of the violations of the Law of the Physical that implies all life forms, all bodies of existence should be equally regarded as Life and embodying such living right in a giving and receiving symbiotic relationship as part of the same organism.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to through existing as a mind consciousness system, exist only as self interest that I have believed is who I am and as such, surpassing the law of my being that is Equality and Oneness and only gave head and regard to the thoughts, feelings, emotions, internal conversations as myself, as what is the reality of myself while the world can function without a single being having to think about the world in itself.

 

“With the Introduction of the Mind to Exploit Disharmony for Self-Interest, Wholeness Constituted the Laws necessary to Return it to Harmony Inevitably.
Awareness as Wholeness do not Direct, as it Is the Directive Principle through which Those that Live, Equal and One as the Law of Wholeness – would Constitute an Equal and One Reality that will be Harmonious. And Those, that Function in Separation to the Law of Wholeness, which is the Law of Physics – would then Wholly become the Manifestation of their Unholiness, Equal and One.”

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard and impose a mind’s desires, wants and needs upon the Directive Principle of the whole, which invariably leads to disharmony as the harm that we have created through the creation of money as the weapon of abuse  – without realizing that now that we are aware of the source of all our disease/ problems, we have also the key to solve the problems, create solutions and embody such solutions as my directive principle that must be reinstalled as my ability to discern at all times that which is best for all and live it, become it – Within this

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever serve the god of the mind as energy, as the abuse of the physical in itself, which is everything that I have defined as my personality and individual configuration that exists ‘different’ to everyone else apparently, without realizing that in such differentiation and individuality, we stopped working and functioning as a collective and became separated through all forms of ideology, dogma, religions, politics, personalities, races and languages as a form to remain divided and only looking after those that are ‘similar’ to us, surpassing the basic fundamental equality that we all exist as, which is our physical body that we all have and exists in an equal and one manner.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that the inherent Evil as human nature, as the reverse of life that the mind represents, is the source of the current consequences that we are facing as humanity, wherein our un-wholeliness as the separation we’ve accepted and allowed ourselves to exist as, is leading us/ we are leading ourselves to a point of potential annihilation due to having ignored the Law of the Physical as the perfection of equality and oneness – and instead, dared to create perfection standards that can only function within the mind’s drive for perfection for its own benefit individually, but never collectively.

 

I realize that the ‘battle’ we embody as our own physical body with the mind system and all its parts and platforms, represents the ultimate challenge wherein we are having to tame the individual energetic forces that would only seek for individual self interest and instead, deliberately become/ embody the Law of the Physical in all ways as an actual living form – this implies that the process I’m walking is the deliberate decision to be and become a living form that is able to coexist with other living forms as equals – and that, must be taken to a practical living system that must be man made in order to ensure we all abide to this Law of the Physical and never again experience the need to abuse within a mental disorder that leads us to want to be ‘more’ than others’ through abusing the physical for our individual self interest/ benefit.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to violate the laws of the physical in the name of my own self interest, due to a con-formism according to what I would see in reality, and within that, accept my condition of abuser and accepting and allowing to see such abuse as progress, as success and ‘superior’ to other life forms.

 

Inevitably, thus – the Disharmony would Cancel itself Out and the Physical will Return to Harmony. Therefore the Physical do not Act as a Teacher. But Those that Function – using or abusing the Laws: May Learn from it and Change Themselves. Or End-Up in the Chains they Created themselves. It is thus Perfection as a Teacher-Environment. And thus Produce Either Complete, Perfect, Awareness – or Eradicate whatever Cause Disharmony. Within this, Time is Irrelevant.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that the purpose of Life is to learn how to Live in Equality/ coexisting with all other life forms and as such, this implies seeing the current ignorance we have all lived as and determine myself to become part of the solution and practically and physically embody that living change from living only as a mind of self interest and greed, to a physical living form that coexists with all other living forms in actual harmony.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to actually honor the ability to be alive and become aware of what we’ve become and have the tools and solutions to change what we have become, which is then be able to decide to live the decision to become a living-physical form that coexists with all others as equals, sharing responsibilities and also being able to receive in equality, as this is what is the actual gift of life, being able to coexist in perfect harmony with all other life forms as equals.

 

 

Thus, Realise the Gift of Physical Awareness – so that you may Become Aware. Or by your Own Hand, through Abusing the Laws of Perfection – you Will Exterminate Yourself.

 

I forgive myself that I hadn’t accepted and allowed myself to realize the gift of Physical Awareness and had deemed it as a curse, which is only me as the mind being deliberately placing ignorance as bliss instead of recognizing our physical awareness as the ability to recognize ourselves and as such decide to live according to the perfect ways in which we can coexist if we all come to the realization that it is only in Equality that we can thrive as species that are part of a greater ecosystem that must not be abused for the sake of our personal endeavors as humanity thriving in self interest, but learn how to implement rules and regulations that ensure life is lived according to the Law of the Physical.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to fully realize the extent of abuse that we’ve imposed the sheer moment that we continue living as individual mind-sets seeking any form of self interest whenever we only care about ourselves as individuals and disregard all living life forms that are equally here and being disregarded in the name of the mind’s self interest as who and what we all have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become.

 

I commit myself to align my life, my being and the entirety of who I am to the Law of the Physical, which is ensuring that everything that I use my body/ mind/ voice for is to act, do, speak in the name of what is best for all, and that anything less from this is certainly only abuse, which I commit myself to point out and direct every time that it is here as part of my awareness, and that is how awareness becomes the living-tool in order to realize, see and understand how we have gotten ourselves to this point, how to correct every single point of neglect, abuse, separation and as such, live the principle of self-responsibility as myself, as I realize that I cannot ignore the awareness of what is here and the immediate necessity to align myself to the directive principle of the Physical here.

 

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