Tag Archives: win

93. “No need to explain, I got it”

A pattern that has been prominent within me is when having to go through things twice in order to ‘get them.’ It is an button pushed for my ego when I believe that I am  able to ‘get things’ with one single explanation, and reacts when being ‘misunderstood’ in terms of me explaining something that in my mind makes sense while taking a another point into consideration – however because of my rush to explain, I do not take the time to give a proper context and as such, I end up getting pissed off because of ‘being misunderstood,’ without first realizing how in my rush to explain things, I did not say things specifically – hence beings cannot ‘guess’ what the hell I’m talking about and in that, friction/ conflict is created as in my mind. I blame the person for misunderstanding while I believe that ‘I know better/ I know that I got it, they just don’t get  what I get’ lol – and as such just become this self-inflated knowledgeable ego that becomes rather nasty to the point of shutting someone off for being too repetitive when explaining themselves – ‘No need to explain, I get it’ is the backchat that covers up the: ‘I know I am right, I know I understand me, I don’t require to understand you in equality’ – which is fucked up to say the least – this is a realization, not a judgment point.

 

So, this is also coming from the ego that believes ‘I don’t require any help to understand’ as if I had it all perfectly figured out in my  mind, which is obviously ego as well.

 

And it is because of this ‘rush’ and general almost like anxiety to get past things that I dropped out of courses, for example, to learn another language just because I would see everyone else as ‘too slow’ – hence the course being ‘too repetitive for my taste’ because of being redundant about points that in my mind, we could have already gotten. Within this character, I became an island as I was unable to work in team effectively, which is a point that I have been re-learning since I have been walking with/ participating with/as Desteni.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react the moment that I envision myself having to go through something ‘once again’ which is a reaction that I have created based on my desire to get things done ‘asap,’ which comes along with an experience of anxiety and general rush wherein because of not wanting to ‘wait,’ I want to get things done ‘in one go’ as in only listening/ reading/ doing something only once and as such, be able to ‘advance’ and go further, faster – thus

I realize that this emerged when I was in school and I would always finish everything first/ faster than the class and would thus get a nice feeling as in ‘being very fast’ meaning a positive experience such as having‘extra time’ to just wander around while others worked, which is a sense of superiority that I would recognize as something special and great within me.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place myself as superior within the idea, belief and perception that I am ‘fast and accurate’ wherein while being in class/ learning something and having to go through it more than once to ‘get it,’ I would react in exasperation and irritation because within my mind this would mean ‘retroceding’ and ‘wasting time’ – believing that I could have just instead  ‘go to the next level/ the next point’ which indicates the usual ‘racing/ competition’ programming that I would play-out throughout my life when it comes to knowledge and information within the schooling system.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within my mind hold the backchat ‘I am able to ‘get things’ with one single explanation,’ which is a ego treat as a form of pride because of apparently having this super-ability to understand, and it all making ‘perfect sense’ within my mind. However when I communicate my understanding toward another and not being accurately explaining the point and the other person gets the idea/belief that ‘I didn’t get it,’ I go into frustration because of me not wanting Them to believe that ‘I didn’t understand what they were teaching/ showing me’ – and so it is a reaction in the form of  ‘not wanting to be seen as ‘me not getting it’ because in my mind ‘I did get it’ –thus

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to then go into blaming the being that gave an explanation that I considered as ‘very clear’ initially, but when the clarification/ second explanation comes after the feedback I have given in relation to ‘what I understood’ – I take it personal within the belief of me having been misinterpreted and thinking that ‘they believe I didn’t get it, when in my mind ‘I did’ which is an entire unnecessary egotistical cycle to go through to try and defend my ego/ my position/ the idea of myself as ‘always understanding everything properly’ -which has been a constant aspect in my secret mind, wherein I think or believe that ‘I am understanding everything that is being said’ somehow, without realizing that this is my mind attempting and trying to ‘always be right’ and ‘always get it right away.’

 

When and as I see myself reading through explanations, hearing information and making up my mind quickly as to assess that ‘I got it,’ – I stop and I breathe – I realize that my relationship with knowledge has been that of an added value to ‘who I am’ wherein I believed myself to be able to understand ‘more’ than others and a such, when getting a second explanation on a point, is then received with a judgment toward such person believing that ‘I didn’t get it’ which I have judged as me not wanting to seem like stupid or retarded because of thinking that ‘now I, at the eyes of others, apparently ‘didn’t get it’ which I see is  the point that ‘really bothered me’ as in me being judged by others as ‘not getting it,’ which is the essence of defending ‘who I am’ as knowledgeable ego –thus

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get irritated, frustrated and angry when I believe that people believe that ‘I didn’t get it’ because that means that I am now ‘less than’ others at their eyes and that I have then ‘not gotten it’ from the get-to/beginning, which is as if I was being measured by my ability to understand the fastest/ quickest/ most accurate way at all times, wherein the conflict then comes when going through the second explanation and already existing in a precondition/default self-belief/ experience of taking it personal wherein I believe that ‘this is being said/explained again because of ‘me not getting it,’ and as such in an absurd way take the blame and judgment as if I had ‘failed’ to understand in one go – wherein in my mind, I still try and make up excuses as to ‘why I did get it,’ wherein I then want to simply clarify myself to others as to defend my posture/my ego that ‘I always get it,  you misunderstood me’

 

Thus I see and realize that I can only experience a conflict within me when the idea of who I am as the ability to understand something in ‘one go’ is questioned and exposed, wherein I then judge me for not communicating properly, I judge the being for ‘misunderstanding me’ and I judge then the entire second explanation because of believing that going through something ‘twice’ makes me ‘slower’ and ‘unintelligent,’ which is the personality that is attacked when having to go through something twice in order to get it.

 

I realize that any point of inner conflict stems from wanting to guard a specific personality/ self interest that has been deeply rooted within me as ‘intelligence’ and ‘being able to get things right away’ wherein it is through me talking myself into ‘I got it, it’s very clear, no need to explain more’ as a backchat and then having to go through a second explanation, to me is a ‘punch to the ego’ that would want to simply go through the points as fast as possible because ‘I am able to get it in one go,’ which is a knowledgeable egotistical trap of me wherein sometimes I would even ‘swallow’/ignore my own understanding gaps and believing that I could figure it out later as we go, wherein because of this rush to get things done as fast as possible, within the rush of wanting to ‘advance’/take advantage in something and ‘get it all done,’ I miss the actual learning and integration of knowledge and information process in practical terms, wherein I realize that the backchat of ‘I got it’ is only a way to satisfy the same ego pattern of ‘I am able to understand things with one single explanation, ’ which in itself is not something that ‘is not possible’ but it is the entire background that is implied within me speaking/thinking such words as the result of a  lifetime of experiences based on ‘getting things fast and with just one explanation,’ which is not true at all and it’s a self-belief that I have taken on as pride and as an automated response in my mind.

 

Thus, when and as I see myself believing that I do not require a ‘second explanation’ and that the person got it all wrong with me not getting it, I stop and I breathe. I direct myself to listen again/ read again being here, breathing, without trying to understand in my mind and having it all ‘sorted out’ in one go, which is ego and most likely pointing out to a timeloop that I am able to stop if walking with/ as patience, realizing that there is No Race to win, nothing to attain by wanting to ‘go fast’ through knowledge and information, as I see and realize that knowledge and information is Useless if not lived, applied, walked in actual physical reality.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to then secretly blame and even ‘diss’ in my mind another for giving me a second explanation to something that ‘in my mind’ I have apparently understood to the T, wherein I take the second explanation as a blow to my ego because I apparently have been misunderstood as in ‘not getting it,’ which is actually also stemming from me wanting to answer things fast without giving proper and detailed context of what it is that I have understood – and this is also linked to the ‘fast and accurate’ personality that I have cultivated from the very first years of schooling, wherein this ‘fast and accurate’ ways of doing things became a ‘prop’ for my development in school, in comparison to others – hence I see and realize that superiority/ desire to be special is ingrained within ‘wanting to do things fast and accurate all the time’ – which is a multi-layered point in relation to knowledge and information.

 

When and as I see myself wanting to give fast answers as to what I understood I stop and I breathe – I realize that I can take my time to write out myself and communicate effectively in detail what I have understood, what is in context of what I have understood in order to ensure that I am not providing only ‘one-liner feedbacks’ but actually take the space and time to explain myself sufficiently to enable an effective communication / mutual understanding of a point.

 

I realize that this rush to answer as fast as possible is linked to schooling activities wherein you have answer questions by the teacher and the first one that raises their hand, ‘wins’ to give the answer, which is how knowledge and information becomes a competition game instead of an actual step by step, moment by moment learning process.

 

I see and realize that the rush linked to learning is then stemming from having lived knowledge and information as a point to compete with/ as in relation to others. Therefore I ensure that when and as I am here reading, hearing, watching something that I am learning from – including my own writing – I assist and support myself to slow down, take the necessary time to go through it, to ensure I am covering the points that I see are relevant to communicate myself effectively as I realize that there is no need to ‘rush’ to get somewhere else.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to almost ‘get offended’ whenever someone believes/ perceives that ‘I didn’t get it,’ because at my eyes and in my mind ‘I always get it right/ I always get it with one single explanation’ which is me existing in the mind from the starting point of being ‘in a race’ wherein I am used to always ‘being first’ and always ‘winning’ in contrast and in comparison to others – which is a mechanism I have used in order to place myself as ‘superior’ intellectually, nothing else but an egotistical treat to make of knowledge and information as something that makes me ‘more’ than myself here as the physical.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold the backchat ‘I know better/ I know that I got it, they just don’t get what I get’ wherein I try to always make myself as ‘better than’ and ‘right’ at all times, because accepting the fact that I did not in reality understand the whole thing in one go is a ‘no-no’ to my ego as the mind – thus I realize that

 

When and as I see myself going into the backchat of ‘I know better/ I know that I got it, they just don’t get what I get’ – I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is a validation, justification for my self-belief as always ‘being right’ in everything I do/ say/ think and understand, – In that moment I stop and actually hear what another is explaining/ saying unconditionally without assessing it based on a past moment of me ‘having gotten it and now having to go through it again,’ and instead walk through the point in the moment as a ‘new moment’ in every breath.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold the backchat ‘: ‘I know I am right, I know I understand me, I don’t require your second hand explanation’ wherein I am in fact lashing out to another being the fact that I have been ‘bothered’ by having to go through something twice to get it, which is the knowledge system demon that believes it is always ‘getting it’ with just one single explanation, considering that I am diminished if having to go through something twice – thus I see and realize that within this

 

When and as I see myself going into the backchat of : ‘I know I am right, I know I understand me, I don’t require your second hand explanation’ – I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am validating and making an excuse for me to not hear unconditionally another, but act from memory based on the value I have given to that past moment of me ‘getting it’ right away and as such, realizing that I can only judge if I have something to defend within me, which is the knowledgeable-ego character seeking to remain in the self-belief of ‘always being right/ always getting it right’ in order to remain as superior. Thus I stop participating in all backchat that goes confirming or denying my ability to understand.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having considered that I was ‘special’ because of being able to understand things ‘right away,’ which became an ingrained ego point in relation to others, wherein I then stand as this secretly self-belief superior shit compared to others, without realizing that knowledge will never be life and as such, no matter how much I engulf as knowledge, it cannot possibly make myself more than others – I stop racing against myself/ others as knowledge and information.

 

When and as I see myself going into the backchat ‘No need to explain more, I get it’ – I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am in fact avoiding having to ‘go through it twice’ based on the memories and experiences of the I am always right’ ego point. Thus I allow myself to hear the explanation as I realize in practicality that going through things more than once assures and ensures that I do understand/ confirm what I have understood and as such, ensure no gaps are left open within a point of communication and learning process.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that ‘I don’t require any help to understand’ which is in fact ego trying to make myself ‘capable enough’ to do it by myself/ on my own, this being the pillar of the ‘I work better alone/ I am capable enough’ as a defense mechanism when I perceive that another offering support is directly implying that ‘I do not get it’ or that ‘I have problems with understanding properly,’ which is the point of ego that I react that I see and realize comes from caring how others perceive in relation to being a ‘knowledgeable person.’

 

When and as I see myself judging another for explaining to me something twice/ being redundant, I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is me reacting from the knowledgeable character – an that it is a matter of ensuring that we are all ‘on the same page’ understanding all points, and that this i in no way implying that we are stupid or ‘do not get it,’ but is simply a way to walk each point with proper context and understanding

 

I commit myself to stop thinking that ‘I get it’ and instead walk the understanding through practically placing it into application.

 

I commit myself to slow down when learning/ walking through knowledge and information to ensure that I am understanding point by point and not jumping into conclusions that point out ‘I am right/ I got it right away’ immediately.

 

“I commit myself to show, that ‘fear of change’ – cannot exist within and as the full absolute trust and standing of who self is within the principle of and as what’s best for all/equality and oneness in an equal and one within and without living of ‘who I am’. Where self is the TRUST that stand here with and as self, and will within this – assess all knowledge and information within the starting-point of what is/will be best for all, and so for self; assessing knowledge and information with regards to how it can contribute to the life of all as with mine. And so, thus, where ‘fear of change’ and resistance to ‘new knowledge and information’ can only exist when/as we have a solidified/cemented character/personality within our Minds, that serves ONLY ourselves within particular-specific wants, needs and desires. And so will essentially only meet with new knowledge and information in fear of change/resistance, when there is in fact a hidden/secret want, need and desire within and behind that Character/Personality self is protecting/defending that serve only self’s interests.” – Sunette Spies +

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Day 17: Dedicated

1    devoted to a task or purpose.
2    exclusively allocated or intended for a particular purpose

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create a personality as being ‘dedicated’ within my reality as an energetic experience that must be ‘kept up’ in order to keep me satisfied within my application in relationships and activities, wherein actions, movements and self-direction is still coming from this idea of myself as being ‘dedicated’ and ‘devoted’ to that which I participate within, wherein I realize that everything that I do must be self-movement where no energy is required to impulse and motivate myself to continue my application within the personality construct as ‘being dedicated.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a particular neutral experience yet tainted with positivity as a dedicated person wherein I have defined myself as ‘being dedicated’ and in that, limiting myself within a frame of mind that I perceive is good/ beneficial yet, it’s not being lived unconditionally in all aspects of myself as an equal and one participation, but only dedicating myself to that which I have a particular preference for, which is then separation and requires proper attention in relation to how I am establishing relationships in equality toward everyone and everything that I participate in and interact with on a daily basis.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get a ‘nice feeling’ as satisfaction/ positive experience when perceiving myself to be ‘dedicated’ which is indicating me that I am not yet an absolute unconditional expression here as every moment, but still  moving myself from this particular personality-suit that I have become and lived as ‘who I am’ and never questioned it because of perceiving it as something ‘good’ to live by,without investigating the direct relationship that this holds to an entire personality suit that was brewed in separation throughout my life and school years, which implies that: it is stemming from an application in the past, it’s not yet fully here as self movement.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to give continuation to experiences and patterns that I have regarded as ‘beneficial’ such as dedication, which is usually rewarded with escalating positions in the system and earning more money according to how obedient/ efficient a person is, which I see and realize is the only fuel that has kept this entire system of hierarchy functioning, by creating false personal convictions as positive attributes as a motivation to move in separation of self, because of always having ‘the ultimate reward’ as a background application that is implied within this ‘dedication’ that we live by in this world – this is because of everything being linked to and stemming from the existence of our lives being hooked to a monetary system, which inevitably implies that all our living-aspects are tainted with the inequality that the money system represents.

 

This implies that the way to correct dedication and equalize it as an expression that is unconditional as myself, requires me to establish myself as the starting point of everything I do – me supporting me within the realization that there is nothing to ‘attain’ or ‘earn’ or ‘win’ here, other than supporting myself to establish that self-stability and ability to move unconditionally, which is linked to being willing myself to move, act, direct without having a motivation to do so, without having to ‘overcome’ another application such as laziness – but moving by principle: I express, I direct myself here as breath – moment by moment.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see dedication as a separate application of myself wherein I imprint a particular ‘positive’ experience toward getting things done/ tasks/ projects/ activities in various ways, wherein there is still a sense of ego enhancement about it which must be equalized and simply accept dedication as an expression of myself, integrate it as what I can be the moment that such dedication is a moment to moment, breath by breath application that is not separate from anything else that I do in any given moment, nor is it determined by ‘who I was’ in the past – it is not only devoted to a particular set of activities in my world, but is an ability that I accept as who I am and what I can be and express as myself as being dedicated to myself first and foremost and to life, to support myself and others in an equal manner as that is what I have decided to dedicate myself/ my life for.

 

I commit myself to see dedication as a living application wherein everything that I do is within the starting point of supporting myself, slowing down and actually placing attention to the details and specificity required – that I have to work with – without generating a ‘feel good’ experience about it in my mind, but simply as a living constancy and consistency as the directive principle that I am establishing within myself.

 

This is thus to stop any dimensional shifting the moment that energy is accessed when getting into an ‘experience’ of being dedicated, and then having to ‘keep up’ that experience – instead of living dedication in every moment that I am here breathing, and being aware of my physical body, wherein the actual dedication is not shifted to ‘accomplishing tasks’ but to live, to dedicate myself to remain here, aware of my breathing as I see and realize that breathing is the key to stop any dimensional shifting in my mind and accessing ideas, beliefs and perceptions according to the ‘score’ that is kept throughout time as the past within the experience of ‘being dedicated’ as a ‘positive attribute’ within myself as a personality.

 

I realize that I am able to ground and physically integrate such dedication as life, here as breath – that is the actual challenge here as that will allow me to dedicate to myself stepping out of the mind and into the physical where no inkling of energetic experience is implied within moving myself. Self willed self movement is the expression of who I really am as life, which implies no positive, negative or neutral experience can be created if I remain constant and consistent moving here as breath.

That is the practical direction here: dedicating myself to breathe and stop any mind-projections as pats on my back for feeling myself as being ‘dedicated.’

All positive egotistical aspects must be debunked in order to ensure that ‘who I am’ as the ego of the mind, as the energized personality I’ve lived by throughout my life, is effectively returning back to the ground wherein I make sure that I do not participate in any positive or negative experiences and start investigating what I have accepted as a ‘default’ experience within me, which is neutrality as the point wherein I do not question ‘who I am’ in this moment, which I see is quite pertinent to start investigating.

I remain here as the physical, and stop accessing further props and ego-enhancers within this living process. No energy required to keep myself dedicated to life.

 

Further Support:

Reptilians – Where is Life – Part 28

Learning more about walking this Process with absolute self-awareness and how to simplify our application to make it a breath by breath living application and not a constant inner-struggle toward ourselves as our own mind.

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Day 10: Money and Politeness

 

As I walked the point of politeness as a positive experience within me and now that I am realizing to what extent everything that we have done/lived by has been linked to Money and the functioning of money in this world, I’ve seen how I’ve lived as a ‘polite person’ without identifying the actual positive ‘kick’ I would get out of it, yet this ‘attribute’ was linked to an inherent desire to be part of the ‘polite people in the world’ which, if reading back in my previous entry – were ‘well educated people’ that were mostly rich/ having more than enough money to live ‘well.’

 

This ties in with my choice of careers as well wherein my inclinations toward the world of ‘arts and culture’ lead me to believe that I had a more ‘refined’ taste than other members in my family who would not be any type of art enthusiasts or well-cultured in the usual ‘intellectual ways’ that I would deem people to be in such ‘social circles.’ So, when I began realizing that only a certain type of people was into art/ music and how they mostly were people with a certain education/ background that lead them to have such ‘refined’ tastes and views on life, I realized that I had to equate that, that I had to become part of such circles in order to achieve my desires/ dreams that I had formulated back then, which were pretty much linked to having enough money to travel around the world and the usual stuff that we dream of as young kids growing up into the ‘adult world.’

 

So these ‘refined manners’ were acquired from interacting with people outside of my family. I recall admiring people that were ‘well cultured’ and would express themselves with such a vocabulary that denoted they had read tons of books throughout their life. I would enjoy going to my aunt’s house for that reason, it was filled with books and we could go to museums and do stuff that I never did with my parents. The same when enjoying talking to their friends and also when being with parents of my friends and partner, they were all ‘well-cultured’ people, even teachers in literature and history and linguistics, which made me want to become part of that circle of people that would have dinners with wine while telling intellectual jokes and having some delicious Italian salad while eating nuts. If you have seen the movie ‘the hours’ I wanted to be like the character played by Meryl Streep, and somehow I would picture myself feeling equally empty even if I had achieved such ‘status’ in my world. But anyways, it was that ‘realm’ wherein I envisioned myself as being fulfilled.

 

What was the way to go there? Becoming equal and one to how I would see these people would behave, talk and experience themselves. So, I enjoyed reading from an early age and linked this to being/ becoming a cultured person, even if I read mostly fiction novels for most of the time.

There was also a time when I was a lot younger around 9 years old when I would attend these luxurious dinners with my parents wherein I got to experience what ‘being in society’ was, and how I was simply acting like a full grown up at that age. I would observe how everyone behaved and even though I knew the whole thing was a façade and really fake, I would play along trying to be charismatic to be equally liked/ accepted the same way that my sisters were. I guess that having a taste of what it means to have a ‘good life’ left a mark on me, even if at the time we were under extreme financial strain, all of those trips and luxury was paid for according to a certain position my father took for a while in a national organization. It was such an awkward experience because we did not have much money then, but we were in these pompous dinners and staying in master suites, literally stealing the room from rockstars staying in the same hotel. I guess that’s the most ‘taste’ I’ve had of what it is to have such luxury and comfort, as well as people praising you all of a sudden by association. Man, it is really something that ‘traps’ you for a while.

 

I guess that if I had not had such experiences, I would have not been aiming for such positions in a not so conscious way – or I didn’t want to fully acknowledge because of not wanting to be deemed as greedy. It’s cool to expose this as there is obviously so much that I held as an imprint on these trips wherein ‘the good life’ was suddenly my reality for a moment. That’s where I got the association of ‘polite’ as in being a ‘politician,’ because that’s how I identified the way that people at such conventions would act like/ interact with each other: in a polite, refined and ‘safe’ manner which is not being too ‘open’ yet not ‘too quiet’ as if there was a problem with you. I learned how having a constant smile made you being liked – I could not fathom why people would always say the same things to you ‘oh how pretty are you!’ It was a bit traumatic having to go through such disparity at such a young age, really. When coming back home after such events and trips – which were only two or three only during two years – it was like getting off of some really nice dream where you could ‘have it all’ and forget about all the actual financial troubles that my father was going through at the time, which I have shared and how it would also preoccupy me extensively as in fearing losing the house and everything.

 

So, to sum up, politeness was for me a way to establish and place myself on the track to become someone of ‘importance’ and in a certain ‘circle in society’ that I wanted to be part of, which was mostly the ‘intellectual circles’ wherein I could have enough vocabulary and presence to mingle with such people. That’s how both my career choices were linked to such cultural world, even after knowing that making a lot of money out of it would not be as easy – as I had initially thought. I got to admire mostly people that had written books already and that I knew I could ‘learn from’ in my attempt to become equal to them. And this all entailed having a secured-financial ‘freedoom’ while doing ‘what I like,’ which was either writing or creating art. I knew how being polite would lead you to get preferential treatment as well, and I sought that, creating a certain aura of power/ control and importance wherein I made sure people would ‘pay attention to me’ – yes.

 

Later on I went into the controlled opposite, but that’s another story wherein further suppressions were linked mostly in relation to judgments toward money – as I have briefly explained above. What I have walked here were dreams and desires that I had kept and was preparing myself for when I was in my early teens; I even thought of becoming a financial advisor just because of knowing how much money they would make, and all of those decisions were only based on desiring having a preferential position in the system wherein I could have enough money to travel around the world, as that’s what I really wanted to do or my ‘idea’ of what happiness in this world is about.

 

Now I have realized within the 23rd Interview by Anu how such elaborated words are definitely only for the ego of the intellectuals and it’s absolutely true – I mean, I created myself as that for the sake of belonging and making myself a space in such circles that I later on absolutely abhorred and almost completely ostracized myself from – going from admiring rich people and the power they had to opposing them and even blaming ‘them’ for the current status of the world, that’s been my life with money which I had not exposed to such extent from this money-perspective before. However I see how it is definitely the ‘missed factor’ that I probably withheld from sharing because of not wanting to be seen as greedy or superfluous/ self-interest driven person while acknowledging that we all are, and we all sought our ways into the system in one way or another. Everyone would enjoy having such financial comfort and power – even myself that later on tried to deny it can only recognize that I did, and ‘my dreams’ were based upon getting to a certain ‘state’ wherein I could write or do some works while having all time left to explore the world.

 

Well, it’s easy to dream and part of this entire process is to take all the points here back to Earth wherein I land myself on the ground to then see how a single seemingly ‘normal’ expression like being polite is in fact having all of this – and probably a lot more – behind it as a conditional input for me to express such ‘politeness’ as ‘who I am,’ which is linked to how I had defined myself according to the ‘social stratus’ that I wanted to be a part of within this world system.

 

I still have a lot of ‘points’ to sort out in relation to and toward money and my career and who I want to be and what must be one, mostly because of – as I mentioned before – going to the opposite polarity of judging rich people, judging the ‘power’ that some beings had to manipulate others because of money, judging the attitudes rich people would present while neglecting the fact that I had sought to be ‘just that’ as well. All of this while deliberately shoving off the reality that I knew and was well aware was going on in this world.

During this time, I managed to make of poverty and misery something that was just a constant part of my ‘landscape’ yet continuing to seek my personal fulfillment. I could have long talks with my then contemporaries that were sociologists and economists, literature people and talk about social policies and the government and whatnot, but we never ever had an actual definitive realization on how We were absolutely responsible for it. That would be yet another part of my ‘socialization’ wherein sitting in cafés talking for long hours would lead us anywhere, yet believing that we were ‘changing the world’ with our bright intellectual ideas and reunions. Lol

 

So – time for self forgiveness and self-corrective application to disengage from this politeness that I have separated myself from according to all of these memories that I’ve held within myself for the purpose of someday, being able to correlate/ cross-reference if I had ‘made it’ within this world system according to the expectations that I placed onto myself.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to make of myself a ‘polite person’ and allowing it to create an inherently positive experience wherein I became part of the ones that are looking forward to become part of a certain elite in this world, which in my case was the ‘intellectual/ well cultured’ people that can certainly only exist in a particular social stratus where money is affluent and where money is not a concern. Therefore, by me acting and playing out being the ‘polite person,’ I was in essence training myself to be part of the ‘polite world’ which I had linked to higher-social stratus of well educated/ well cultured people/ rich people/ intellectuals, because that’s what I wanted to be and ‘where I wanted to belong to.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to then create an inherent desire to be and become someone ‘superior’ within the social standards which is why I fed myself so much with knowledge and information as I had given value/ worth to knowledge and information as my ‘talents’ when realizing that I could make a living out of it and still get to an elevated social stratus wherein I could be financially stable and have more than that in order to have a life of luxury and traveling as the dreams that I had created in my mind while neglecting this reality in its entirety.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear losing all the relationships at an intellectual level with writers, sociologists, historians, linguists, and any other person that I deemed as ‘intellectual/ superior’ when I decided to step aside from that world and going into a more ‘noble’ and ‘meek’ path of not wanting to be part of the ‘high spheres in society,’ which came after a particular event that changed my view/ perspective about money and recognition and made a decision that ‘I didn’t want that for my life.’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to want to be part of the ‘intellectual people’ as that’s what I gave myself value as, knowledge and information, accumulating data that I could later on speak about and be regarded as ‘important.’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to play out being the ‘polite person’ among people that I wanted to ‘keep’ as relationships because of already being scheming me being part of such social-circles that I sought to be a part of, mostly because of regarding that I could make a load of money with it while doing something that I regarded as ‘humane’ as possible – which is culture/ words/ arts/ music, etc.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to increment my desire to know and prepare myself within specific careers simply out of the desire to accumulate as much knowledge as possible that I could ‘sell’ as my profession and earn good money out of it. In this I forgive myself that I had denied the fact that my life, my attitude, my politeness had been having money and the desire for money as an obvious drive in the background, while me denying so because in such realms, people seemed to be “humble” about their careers and knowledge – yet having a very affluent type of living, which I also desired to be like/ experience myself as: having money yet not being a ‘show off’ about it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link a proficient vocabulary to being a ‘well cultured person/ well educated/ refined/ well mannered/ polite’ which I have immediately identified as something ‘valuable’ within a person, which is identifying knowledge and information as ‘valuable’ on top of the one and only value that exists which is life and Life cannot ever be knowledge.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself for having ever criticized/ judged people on how they would place value in their possessions without realizing that I was doing the same toward myself as my own mind in the form of knowledge and information and creating a value toward myself according to it, separating myself absolutely from the one and only reality that is here as myself as my physical body, as life, the life that I absolutely neglected in such times simply because being too busy building myself and preparing/ scheming my way to climb ‘the ladder of success.’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to blind myself with believing that my parents were unconditionally supporting my decision in life, without realizing that they were ‘happy’ about it because I was aiming to be a ‘rich’ person or having more than enough money and that my aspirations and actions were leading to becoming this ‘important person in society,’ which is why they started reacting when I stopped creating/ forming relationships in society and retreated, because this was linked to me losing all contact with such ‘intellectual people’ and losing the opportunity to be ‘a part of them.’ Now I realize that it was linked to money, to securing my ‘place in the world’ that I also deemed to prefer above any other professions or activities in the world. I was ready to praise myself as knowledge and information only, which I now see is the absolute manifestation of self-interest because I never considered ‘life’ in that, at all.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create and build myself within a particular personality wherein I made sure that people would ‘pay attention to me and give me a position of ‘importance’ even at face value, which was linked to my ‘scheming’ of positioning myself within a certain area in society that I could live ‘well’ of and still fulfill my desires to be someone ‘important’ in my world.

 

I commit myself to stand in a position in this world wherein I can truly make use of these attributes in a way that is best for all, because I see and realize that if I had personal interest as a driving force to be ‘preparing’ for such world, I could do the same now with having the starting point the absolute drive to support myself and all beings equally within a position within the world system wherein I no longer ‘fear’ it/ oppose it as some type of rebellion and antagonism stemming from criticism toward money/ power in this world. I realize that being in a position of power in this world cannot possibly exist within me unless I stand as one and equal to all – which means that whatever I have to do within this world system, I realize that I am perfectly able to do so, with having the starting point of doing/ living/ acting and creating myself as someone that can stand within the system to establish a system that is best for all life.

 

I commit myself to use these acquired ‘attributes’ and experiences as a point of reference to see and realize how I am capable of standing in a position that I had deemed as ‘superior’ yet now having a principle to actually stand for, which is life in equality and oneness – and not just following ‘dreams’ of fame, glory and success that I formulated in my mind which I knew would lead me to feel equally empty, because I obviously was not considering the whole in that equation.

 

I realize that the only true-fulfillment that I can create for myself is stemming from the standing and consideration of an overall well-being for humanity, that is my ‘true passion’ and as I got to know from some feedback at the farm ‘I’ve found my purpose in life,’ and the proof of this is that I had not been as consistent toward any particular ‘movement’ or ‘phase’ in my life as I have now within this process, because it is not just ‘another phase’ in my life of seeking my way into the system, it is The Phase and only phase wherein I dare to face myself and take self responsibility for my creation. And I realize that this entails actual work, actual self-commitment that strengthens every day the more I see, I realize and understand the extent to which we have enslaved ourselves to the absolute separation that stops here as myself.

 

Thus, I commit myself to stop any personal interest that stood only in the name of personal glory and success and instead use what is here as myself as a means to establish what is best for all in this world, which I hereby commit myself to walk into its completion as I know that I won’t ever be actually ‘fulfilled’ until this entire world is equalized as myself as who I really am, and for that there is Actual work to do and a long road to walk.

 

 

Suggested support:

An Interview on how when you really have it ALL and you then see yourself in the absolute opposite, your life changes, ‘who you are’ is gone. It is proof of how much we can also disregard within the experience of those in ‘power’ and apparent ‘control’ of their lives – a very cool interview that supported me to open up these points with more ease, to not judge what I have lived and become, but to see it for what it is: unacceptable forms of separation we’ve created in this world:

Life Review – When you Lose your Money – you Lose your Friends

Blogs of the day:


2012 Instant Gratification

This is part of the stuff that we share and walk at the Desteni forum, which is how we support each other to open up points that we can cross-reference in relation to ‘how we function as individuals’ within this reality, within a system that we have created as a reward-system wherein we sometimes get to experience ourselves within a ‘game’ of sorts wherein you must struggle in order to merely survive and ‘thrive’ within it, which is the entire pursuit of happiness mechanism that we are induced to by our parents, teachers, school systems, media, friends, society in general as a reflection of how we have equated ‘living’ to ‘experiences’ – commonly associated with ‘buying an experience’ and being instantly satisfied with it, only to seek for more after a while. That’s feeding only the mind’s cravings there.

 

So the following belongs to Cam Mantia in his writings within the forum.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire a quick fix to bringing about a change in myself to stand as equality and oneness – I realize that the mind moves quickly and jumps from time to time and does not remain here; I have gotten so used to the immediate gratification of the mind that I had forgotten that this reality is currently time based and requires time to play and out and to be lived here in breath.

 

That point of Self Forgiveness opened up the ‘instant gratification points here’ where we have equated this process to something that will be giving us some ‘bliss’ or ‘glory’ as having and experiencing an instant change or have a drive-thru fulfilling experience of stopping a particular pattern or habit. Within this consumerist society, we have forgotten that doing things actually takes space, time and effort to get something done. We’ve become so used to only handing out money in order to get what’s available in the store – and in that, we definitely alienate ourselves from the production process that is behind that ‘finished product.’

 

 

So the mind moving quickly and wanting to get things done asap, is a definitive pattern I have walked and I am currently working with as well, though I had not linked it to a sense of gratification or ‘props’ for my ego until  I started writing about it within a mind construct wherein I have linked ‘effectiveness’ to rushing, wanting to get things done in an almost anxious manner wherein I have not allowed myself to step down a notch from my usual ‘drive’ – which is energetic in nature – instead of walking point by point in the physical, here, at the physical breath pace.

 

The interesting thing is that I tend to judge capitalism and its production mechanisms wherein the fastest something is produced = the better, the quicker, the more satisfying and ‘ultimately fulfilling’ something is, as that is translated to profit and ‘power’ for whoever holds it in such case. At a personal mind-level, I work the same way, wherein being and perceiving myself as ‘fast and accurate’ is translated to feeling instantly and ‘inadvertently’ gratified with having accomplished something.

I recognize that I have deliberately applied myself in stopping any feeling as a the fluffy ego-props this point of ‘efficiency’ can be equated to –  as it is within the application of humbleness wherein anything we do/ say/ accomplish is not taken as a trophy, but seen and realized for the practicality of it.  I had a history of reacting when getting public recognition as in getting embarrassed about it – later on realizing that I was playing in fact the opposite role as well within seeking recognition, which I have written about in the past and how it was the first aspect that Bernard pointed out to me the day I got to the farm, lol that was cool. Since then, I have realized that I can acknowledge these points that I have walked-through and applied, recognize them for what they are and stopping ‘adding on’ to the personal record. This is then living each moment with its realization and moving on – clear- no keeping track of the personal record.

 

How did I get to that realization? Well, we don’ require to keep a record of ourselves as that would be in essence having to ‘load’ an entire lifetime-achievement and keeping it as ‘who we are’ in every moment – which is how the ego is formed – instead of realizing that if there is an actual self-realization, we integrate it as ourselves in the moment, without having to boast about it or make ourselves feel ‘better’ or ‘bad’ for having done or realized something – thus we understand that through self-forgiveness we give ourselves back to ourselves wherein no ‘more or less than’ exist, wherein we equalize ourselves to the points that we walk as our very own living application, which is seeing and realizing that we cannot possibly get somewhere/ become more or ‘achieve’ something in separation of ourselves – there is nothing to ‘earn’ or ‘lose’ – only points to realize and align within the principle of what is best for all.

 

That’s how I realized I was ‘keeping a record/ score’ of lifetime achievements and ‘loading that up’ as the idea of myself – once we stop defining ourselves according to ‘what we have done/ who we were/ how we have lived’ as the past, we give ourselves a blank slate to remain with the basic and supportive points that we have integrated as part of us integrating self-direction as a living-decision.

I also  discovered this when writing out a mind construct – I share some self corrective statements that contain the exposed above:

 

When and as I see myself rushing within my world in an idea of rushing = ‘being efficient’ I stop, I breathe. I realize that this is a copied-pattern within the belief that through rushing I will feel ‘good’ about having done something in the fastest and most accurate way when in reality, I am only ‘playing a game’ against time, against others wherein I perceive ‘the rest’ as ‘slow’ and ‘inefficient.’ I stop following this self-belief of having to rush through everything I do as a point of self-definition that makes me feel ‘good’ about myself/ feel ‘more than’ which are experiences created as a positive thinking within my personal record of lifetime achievements. Lol

 

When and as I see myself doing things from the starting point of ‘rushing’ and ‘getting it done as fast as possible’ – I stop and I breathe. I realize that doing things the fastest way is not an actual way of living here as breath at the physical pace, but existing as a constant energetic rush at a mind level. Thus, I direct myself to do things at the pace that it is required wherein I am aware of my movements being self-directive and not out of ‘rushing’ – the same with my breathing-pace wherein there is nothing to ‘compete’ or ‘achieve’ within buying groceries, but simply getting what’s required and that’s it.


Just in case you were wondering about the ‘buying groceries’ point, that’s part of a mind construct on going to the supermarket experience and getting  ‘as fast as I can’ in and out of it in order to achieve the ultimate task of buying groceries in the most ‘fast and accurate way’ lol! There’s a LOT more than what meets the eye when walking a single event through writing in such specific ways as we do within doing mind constructs, it’s fascinating. And this point is definitely related to some of this instant gratification point which becomes our current ‘living in the fast lane’ type of lifestyles, wherein some people have dared to say ‘we barely have time to think’ – but I would say that it is the other way around, we think too much, we consume too much, we rush too much within the almost embedded idea that ‘time is money.’ And just to give another perspective on the self corrective statements, the ‘acquired pattern’ is in relation to taking my father as a reference from whom I have copied this pattern/ habit, which makes it fascinating to see how we acquire all our ‘personal quirks’ from seemingly mundane events like ‘going to the supermarket with my father’ – fascinating stuff that you get to walk through the Desteni I Process.

 

I’ll leave it up to here for now, there’s many cool points that open up when looking at ‘instant gratification’ as the mind’s tendency to seek for quick fixes to fulfill the very programming that we have created for ourselves, to keep ourselves busy ‘up there’ while perceiving that breathing and being here is ‘wasting time’ or that we should be ‘doing something’ – it’s time to walk a process of balancing our day wherein we give ourselves time for ourselves, to write, to reflect on who we are every day, what we participate in and also remaining effective and directive within any physical work/ task that we require to give direction to as part of our daily reality.

 

There’s an entire aspect of the instant gratification based on our consumerist society, wherein we have all become addicts seeking the next fix – and we have to be quite aware that within this process there is certainly nothing to ‘earn’ or ‘accomplish’ that can make us ‘more’ in any way whatsoever. It is essentially only adjusting ourselves to the reality and living-principle that we should have always existed as, and it is only now that we are able to walk ourselves through our writings and Self-Forgiveness in Self Honesty in order to demystify our eternal ego-competition toward ourselves and everyone else that has a mind in this world – within this, we hold the actual power to stop an entire system of profit that is based on satisfying these very ideas of getting experiences as props for our personal score/ ego, as a lifetime achievement of experiences that we can then hold on as ‘who we are.’ We are the creators = we are able to correct chasing after experiences and ‘points’ to add to our board, and within that, stopping the cog wheels that are keeping the current system alive.

 

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If 'Survival of the Fittest' is true, is is the Marketer who is King - Selling the belief that the Freedom to pursue Self-Interest is not Enslavement to Consumerism

This time I feature Jeanne’s creation because it suits our current ‘living mentality’– lol – and the instant gratification point as the fuel that keeps this current system of zombies that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become. The quote says it all

 

Desteni Forum: http://forum.desteni.org/
Join in to get to know yourself for real.


2012 Fear of God

When you are a child and you are told that there is an ‘all seeing god’ that is watching you in every single moment of your petrified existence, what do you eventually grow toward such invisible policeman in the sky? Fear.

I have explained before how my belief in a God as an all seeing guy that could eventually communicate through other ‘delegates’ through mediums – and ventilate my little-secrets in front of my family- became a driving-fear within my every day living. I feared being watched all the time, I would go into a mix of fear, guilt and anxiety for doing something that I considered was ‘wrong’ in the eyes of ‘god.’ More than fear of ‘God’ itself as this omnipresent-omniscient, omnipotent, and even apparently omnidirectional ethereal being that ‘God’ was supposed to be, I feared the consequences of doing/ saying something that would make him mad/ angry at me. I eventually became watchful of my every step and thought in order to ‘not piss off God’

When looking at this point, I can see how ever since I became aware of this god-point and wanting to, in essence, ‘be liked by God’ in order to ‘get a reward back’ later on in my life for it,  I created a personality of being a ‘good girl’ that is accumulating golden coins through benevolent acts and benevolent thinking, just so that I would not have to face the point that I actually feared, which was ‘The wrath of God.’ Hell knows how I even got that idea of ‘God’ being a wrathful being if you didn’t stick to the line of being a ‘good fella.’ However, I stuck to the code and I kept track of my thoughts and actions from the starting point of fear.

 

Even at the peak of me realizing that such faith in God was plain brainwashing, I still held this idea of a greater force that could eventually come back and obliterate myself I one sneeze if I just kept doing everything that I wasn’t supposed to do – or that I would eventually be punished by having hundreds of future-lives living in misery. Fear became the driving force for me to ‘behave well’ and be a ‘good neighbor,’ just because of keeping my own score at the eyes of God.

 

Of course I would not talk about this with anyone – my belief in the afterlife and the white-light beings watching my every step was ‘My secret’ and no one was supposed to know, because apparently I was privileged and special – along with my family – to have such protection which, somehow, in the elitist realms of heaven not anyone could have access to. I mean, I would essentially mock Catholics that would go to church believing that god was in some flour-chip drenched in wine. Yet, I believed in all of these long-ass rants wherein the heaven and stars was given to us in order to keep the faithfully deceived ‘happy’ by being ‘special’ and having this super spiritual protection from the white brotherhood of God- lol. I remember some of those ‘sessions’ at my house with some of those mediums, having to hear a seemingly endless list of names of death people that had been lurking around my house,  that were apparently ‘given light’ in that moment to ascend. The sheer thought of having invisible death beings around me was something that scared me a LOT – however it was all part of the idea that such death souls were lost for a moment and had found some  “light” in our house, LOL

 

 

‘God’ as the reason to Stop Self-Abuse

How I have observed this pattern of fearing God and using God (or Baby Jesus for kids) at least here in Mexico and within the culture that I have seen around me, is using it as the perfect excuse to threaten beings to ‘have good morals’ and ‘act in the right ways.’ As I just explained to this wasn’t the type of ‘resource’ used by my parents in order for me to behave.  My mother would rather use the idea of monsters or any other ghastly creature for the same purposes, and I can say it worked the exact same way.

 

So, here specifically with poor people– which is a great majority in this country –  and people living in rural areas in México, traditions, family and religious values are the basis of their upbringing and education.  Faith and devotion form essential ingredients of their family-values wherein if the mother / father finds no way to show their children why they must behave or do something, they turn to god and use it as an excuse to do as they say:

“If you don’t do your homework, baby Jesus will start crying!”

“If you take drugs and alcohol, our holy mother will start crying”

“If you beat your wife, you will sure have to explain your deeds to our holy father once you are on your way to hell”

And so, people are easily conducted through using God – or any deity for that matter – as a point of fear in order to ‘tame’ human beings to behave well, to do as they are told and eventually become docile beings that are then considered ‘faithful’ because of how supple they have become in order to accept ‘the word of god.’

 

Within this idea of ‘God’ being an omnipotent being that decides whether you live or die, go to heaven or hell, but is also able to give you extra-powers to do stuff that you are apparently unable to do by yourself,  God/saints are used to, for example, stop/ quit a certain addiction.

In my family, people that have drunk for probably half of their life, one day – after a car accident or having someone dying in a car crash due to being drunk, or seeing someone dying of alcoholism – they decided to ‘swear to the virgin that they won’t drink again.’ And I have been amazed by how they do live and respect that ‘swearing,’ which goes hand-in-hand with the same fear that they were brought up with from childhood, wherein ‘God’ as the policeman in the head is the one thing that they respect and obey above all, even above their immediate ‘authorities’ like parents/ family members.

 

And this is not limited to only ‘rural areas’ wherein the catholic roman church holds the hegemony of people’s lives for the most part. In the streets of one of the busiest avenues in Mexico City, one can see painted virgins graffiti-style on the walls wherein messages are apparently given ‘in the name of the virgin’ in order for people – mostly males in this case – to stop drinking, to come home early after work and not take/ indulge into drugs; to keep their money for their family instead of squandering it in ‘gaming’ a.k.a. gambling, prostitutes and buying alcohol or drugs.  And you might think that such an image with those words would have no effect on people, but it actually does. This goes hand in hand with the level of cultural indoctrination wherein in a hypothetical situation, people can be fighting to death and yelling the hell at each other – but if a church, priest or virgin or anything related to their belief could suddenly emerge around them, they would simply stop, appease, maybe feel remorseful for a moment and probably even stop their confrontation.

How come we have delegated our common-sensical ability to stop for a moment to look and realize what we are accepting and allowing ourselves to be and become, only through the belief or idea in some magnificent being that is watching over our heads?

 

Why have we required a savior to exist?

 

The point is realizing how beings that take on points such as stopping addictions by ‘swearing to the virgin’ could essentially realize that they are walking a decision to stop any addiction by themselves, by their own will. However, it is as though they require this ‘God’ idea no matter what, they believe that something ‘extraordinary ‘ is giving them the necessary strength to overcome their addictions.

 

The reality is that each one could easily see that you don’t require the idea of a loving-caring invisible being in order to take on responsibility for stopping an addiction, for example. The only reason why the idea of god/ saint/ invisible force to be the mediator for you to keep your word, is because we haven’t yet allowed ourselves to trust ourselves through proving that we can actually do, say and live that which we say that we will.

 

 

‘God’ is not required to ‘keep going’ through life.

The moment that the belief in God was finally debunked within me, part of the downward spiral experience was because of realizing that I wasn’t living a life for myself, as an actual living expression and self-caring consideration. I was only living a life wherein I could accumulate a great score in order to satisfy ‘God’ and have a kickass afterlife experience that could, apparently, compensate for any bitter taste that I could have experienced while ‘being alive.’ This is how we go living our lives waiting to die, accommodating ourselves and directing ‘who we are’ based on a divine system of punishment & reward which eventually affects all our decisions in this world. And it is absolutely ludicrous to see how if there was no ‘god’ as a police-force within millions of beings, things could be even worse.

However, religion as this ‘untouchable law’ within people is nowadays becoming more ‘light’ and only remains with such ‘power’ in poor, small towns/ cities that are very traditional and still hold a blind-faith toward all-things ‘God.’ Once that money steps in the scene, things change. And proof of that is seeing how the narcos/drug dealers who are essentially poor people that get involved into dealing drugs for the good money it represents, they still hold their belief in a ‘god’ or ‘saints’ – yet what they now do is forging the image or name of the deity of their choice in their 24k gold-bathed guns that they use to give the ‘sure shot’ to someone. Somehow saints are now involved into taking care of criminals, doing the best they can to exterminate those that dare to challenge their heavenly drug-lord business.

 

Prescinding the Policeman in the Head

No matter what cult people are in – they have this authority-figure that they fear ‘letting down’ with their actions/ words and that’s how the bondage of religion is woven.

So, instead of having to submit ourselves as human beings to an idea of such god-policeman in the head, to keep it as a constant reminder of ‘why we should do onto another what we want for ourselves,’ we can simply understand that this it the way to direct ourselves in this world – and live it. Why is there the need to rely on a religion/ belief in order to ‘do well’? Is it that only through beliefs in invisible deities we are able to realize our actual potential and determination to do something, to stop a habit, to become self-responsible? No, and I have proven this for myself.

Once that all the fear of god is gone and there is no aspiration to get to a heaven, what remains is Earth, as grounded as it can be wherein you realize that everything you do, you walk according to what you see/ understand is best for yourself = best for all day by day.

 

The God concept as the policeman in the head, can be prescinded as it serves no purpose other than keeping people bound to a certain religion that is then equated as ‘that which gives them force to continue,’ without realizing that such force is not given by an almighty god, but has always actually been here as ourselves, we just were too coward and gullible to think that we required someone else to endow it to us.

 

Common sense overrides all fears – this is how we walk in this world then, fears are irrational and have no other purpose than limiting our living expression in the moment. We are witnessing how fear has become the actual source of mind control in our reality: we’ve done it to ourselves and it’s time to stop for once and for all.

 

http://www.desteni.org

Check out people’s fears and participate exposing/ sharing your fears and exposing how irrational they are #FEARWEEK

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La Furia de Dios (God’s Wrath) 2005

Vlogs:

Why having a savior is such a great idea?
Desteni – The Little Promise Left – AntiHate 2 – Face Your Fears

Children are Here as Life

I had a cool meeting with some family-friends from the states that arrived today and beyond talking to the mother and daughter, I enjoyed talking with the son of ‘the daughter’ who is a 7 year old boy that people simply deem as a ‘menace’ kid – I see whenever I am in ‘grown ups’ reunions like that, If I see kids, I’ll go and just hang around with them, I definitely enjoy kids whom I can speak to, specially around that age 7-10-12 – I did the same in that wedding in germany, lol trying to catch some stuff in german and then in english and even if the communication as such within words wasn’t coming completely ‘through’ I enjoyed being with them.

Anyways, so I simply went upstairs at my aunt’s house to see what the kids were doing, as usual – a tv was on disney channel, my cousin that is around 14 years old plugged to her ipod or whatever it was, lol – and the ‘son’, the 7 year old kid ‘K’ was watching tv along with my other two cousins, 6 and 12 years old – I grabbed a small guitar they were messing around with and started playing some notes, I noticed that K immediately stopped looking at the tv screen and started following the rythym with his hands on the armchair, and he was just immediately ‘tuned in’ to the rythym and so I increased the speed and he increased his ‘armchair drumming’ and I was simply playing the same notes over and over and he just was into it, lol – so cool until the ultimate rush of notes and finally stopping the sound – then I started talking to him, getting the usual ‘what are your hobbies’ or ‘what music do you like’ – lol and after getting thumbs down for people like justin bieber and lady gaga amongst others lolol, these kids – he started talking on how he’d found really disgusting how people would show themselves puking a lot of meals on tv so people would find that ‘funny’ –  he started communicating on similar points that he’d seen on tv shows how people do harm to themselves to entertain another and how people would find that funny – It was very interesting to see that he was able to eloquently express himself and stand within a complete basic common sense point in relation to ‘what is best for all’ within seeing this self-inflicted harm portrayed on shows as ‘entertainment’ or ‘funny’-things that people are supossed to laugh or like – he was dead serious he didn’t like that at all –  And so I simply started communicating, wow, it is the first time in a long time I am able to communicate this easily with someone – I would simply share the common sense perspective on things and he would share other experiences where he’d seen ‘people littering on the earth’, he even spoke on how people get paid to pick up other’s trash (meaning cleanign the streets from littering) and how people that litter on the streets only care about themselves – and don’t care about others –

He kept explaining how he’d seen some animal abuse images on a dog and how the person that inflicted harm on the dog should be punished to jail for ‘infinity’ because he harmed another being that is life – yes I have to say I thoughoughly enjoyed the views K had upon what he’d seen on tv, what he’d seen others do within his life – an example is seeing how one cheated to win a game and how that was Not Fair at all because they were already showing themselves as ‘wanting to win’ and thus the rest of the people playing the game had no-chance anymore to ‘win’ because, he had already cheated to win for himself, because he only cared about himself!

I mean, really cool just look at all the concepts that he pointed out in common sense in a less than half an hour intense exchange of views where we could Easily agree upon what’s best for all! I also saw how by exprsesing myself with him with basic common sense, he was able to immediately grasp it – the moment I mentioned ‘that’s why we are supporting an Equal Money System’ so that everyone can have a fair life to live here on Earth – he immediately agreed that it was ‘fair’ because we all live here on Earth – lol I even played with ‘Earth’ and ‘BEarth’ to see how life is born in the physical, earth! I wanted to sing ‘A cup is just a cup’ – lol I could only get the first lines ‘A cup is just a cup, it’s made from the Earth’ – lol this actually I just began singing to him after meeting him, to which he started questioning how that was possible? a cup made from the earth? eh? lol! and so I explained and he immediately got it – pff, these kids got dual core processors, they simply see it when having the basic foundation to see where abuse exists, what personal interest is, what harm is, what killing another is, what death is, what ‘pricdes’ are (which is how he called a ‘salary’ or ‘wage’ for a person’s job), animal life, respecting life, etc

A great point is that he said – I dislike cheaters, (I explained what greed implies in wanting to win the game all the time and thus being dishonest in cheating to make their ‘winning’ certain to which he added that it thus limits the others to have any chance to ‘win the game’ because it’s already been ‘fixed’ fascinating) – he continued on the equal money point: people that are working for a job to live should get money and people that don’t care about themselves and that don’t care about anyone else because if they don’t care about themselves = they won’t care about anything or anyone else, shouldn’t get money. As simple as that!! just how it should be.  He’s completely aware of how people are paid by others that are in a master’s position of having a lot of money and that the ability to do so – meaning having people ‘beneath’ them – make them even richer.

Yes, a 7 year old kid – fascinating – I could speak words and he would immediately ‘grasp’ it to his understanding in very simple terms and then come up with his own experiences on the specific topic – I mean while he was explaining all of this things he was just sitting on a basketball ‘ball’ and moving a bit around until he finally sat in the couch completely into the conversation – he was simply expressing himself with what he’d seen and how we have to ‘not litter on the streets’ and not beign able to understand what a person has to ‘be’ or ‘think like’ to say ‘I will litter on the earth’ and so then someone else having to do them for themselves – He even explained how he cleans his room and helps his mom to do so.

I would’ve probably spent more time talking to him, lol it was funny that I said ‘okay, I have to go now’ he simply followed me downstairs and kept explaining the points and then up again until he finished explaining the points he wanted to address with regards to this kid complaining about not winning a game after he’d seen him cheating to actually win but then not doing so and thus complaining about something that he’d created for himself wherein he obviously saw that the kid ‘revealed’ the ‘nature’ of himself as a cheater and already not allowing others to have the opportunity to win not even by ‘stroke of luck’ – fascinating.

So, would be cool if the communication opens up again, he’s a really cool kid that exprsses himself perfectly well and has got more than the basic common sense we would require in any given human being to see what is best for all as life.

I enjoyed this  point thoroughy and pff, it is cool to encounter kids like this really – I experienced the same common-sensical way of living from my aunt’s son in germany who is the same age as K and really just talking with them about these everyday events they see in their lives, with their friends or classmates or whatever goes around in their environment and being able to clearly see ‘what’s best for all’ and just being kids that express themselves, that are considered playful yet when establishing communication with them, it’s fascinating to see how they think, how they live what they speak of – I mean they can only speak from experience, they can’t speak of any other given thing, lol another basic point on communicating as self- kids get it faster than ‘adults’ of course.

Enjoyable – very cool, let’s see what opens up in another moment.

With regards to my experience and everything on the past two days, I see the points, I can see that I will have to deal with this whenever the points emerge again and yes, it is my ‘testing’ the standing of self honesty in my world, I was just reminded by this within the uploading of the third part of my resonance interview

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9rp5GfZD4c

it is great support for everyone as equals –

So, kids as the future – education, development of vocabulary, practical reference points within their reality – living as an example as a father/mother – fascinating, talking with this kid is ‘refreshing’ from all the bullshit going around in the internet with adutts fighting against each other – if the world could only exist with kids like him, the laws would be on not exceeding sugar ingestion or hours in front of tv lol – just ‘dreaming’ on a bit here but, I can see that it is defintely worthwhile to do this for kids, to pave the way for kids like him – it makes complete common sense –

thanks for reading


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