Tag Archives: world change

447. Interacting with the News/Media: from Helplessness to Personal Empowerment

For some reason, things have become a lot clearer these days for me and I can also say to not be alarmed when one doesn’t seem to have the ‘right words’ or ‘ways’ to express something. Sometimes things take time to be reflected on at an individual level, only to then after some time of testing things out be able to share about it with more self-authority and a certain ease in expression, which is also something that emerges after one has been discussing/reflecting and making notes about the subject while living it out in reality for some time too.   

I share an example here. I see that one source of continuous stability whenever getting to know information or becoming aware of the majority of problems in the world – faced in the worst forms of human creations like wars, famine, corruption, abuse, violence, hatred, harm, confusion, deception, injustice, manipulation, despotism etc. – is in fact the ability to reflect these events and situations we see as ‘news’ for example within the realization and understanding that all of this that is coming up to the surface, is the externalization and re-creation of everything that has existed in our own minds. What does this mean? The world, all the ‘events’ taking place, all the disgrace, misfortune, suffering, betrayal, corruption…. And the long list of it are created through and by the attitudes, behaviors, emotions and accumulated suppressions that are now being exerted as our expression, our nature, our creations that are becoming more and more ‘in our faces’ to see what is it that we’ve become as creators in this world.

I’ve realized how over time and practice this becomes a natural way to approach information and browse through the news or get to see all the turmoil coming up in the world in all types of ways from the individual aspects like mental instabilities, stress, anger, diseases, self-sabotage, addictions, up to the ‘greater problems’ like corruption, deception, despotism transformed into wars, famine, violence, abuse… I know firsthand how it is at times hard to keep oneself stable upon diving into the deep corridors and crevasses of our reality, whether it is in the form of current grim news or getting to know more in depth mechanisms of how our world-system operates.  I have been deliberately applying a more objective or reflective stance when reading this information in order to embrace this reality as myself.

What does that practically mean? Instead of becoming reactive about the absolute absurdity we can encounter on ‘how the world system works’ right now, I instead interact with this information and deliberate do the exercise of tracing such actions and reactions to their source and origin, which is always a human being, a human mind, a person that individually or collectively has co-created a particular detrimental or destructive outcome for themselves and others. In essence, I’ve practiced a constructive form of ‘reading the news’ and translating them into an exercise of ‘reading a person’s mind’ or intent and then seeing how that also relates to me, to every one of us that has in one way or another, to varying degrees, lived that same abusive stance toward our own lives.

If this is a new perspective for you, you might be thinking ‘No way! I am not a psychopath! Not at all like those people that are called ‘politicians’ and dare to do those heinous acts, I am a decent person!’ and here I’d say hold back for a moment and let me explain, because we definitely love to ‘fight’ any realization about our own nature, we tend to immediately deny it because… who would really like to realize that we are one and equal with – oh boy, here I’ll use the trendy people that are being used as human piñatas – Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump? They are both human beings representing actually what exists in the majority of our mind and exponentially showing what ‘we are capable of’ when directing our intent to any form of personal interest.

An example on this is that I just heard a woman explaining chemtrails and associating this practice to be ordered or mandated by people that are ‘surely psychopathic’ in nature, said in a tone that is usual when we want to denote the problem only existing outside of ourselves. I’ve noticed this is one preferred term to be used to point out the ‘ludicrous’ nature of ‘them’ or ‘those’ that can devise such creation. Even if I understand that this is in essence a regular reaction to this kind of situations where ‘no one knows what it is and who is doing it,’ the aim and objective in this back to self approach when watching news or information about things we don’t regularly get to know of in our ‘main media,’ is to precisely not give into the same stance of ‘us vs. them’ mentality to place the culprits separate from us.

Instead, give one step further to investigate what is this creation as ‘chemtrails’ actually denoting or reflecting about our own current consciousness-nature as humans, what does its existence represent? And why haven’t each one of us actually truly embodied the honor and respect for life that we are demanding in to those ‘behind the curtains’ for? Why haven’t we in fact yet lived such honor and respect to our own bodies and lives in an absolute manner? Hence a single word like calling another a ‘psychopath’ which means “a person suffering from chronic mental disorder with abnormal or violent social behavior” in fact can represent all of us, since neither of us has absolutely lived as a ‘second coming of Jesus’ in the flesh to be so pure and self-honest to absolutely say and be able to stand by the words: ‘I do not act against life in any moment’.

I know firsthand as well how we like to keep ourselves in the ‘good light’ as the ‘good lights’ that research and dig out all the problems and in doing so, believe that we are digging out other’s problems and consequences, but ‘Not Mine At All!’ and that’s where we have to step down of our horses and actually live and apply humbleness, real understanding. If anyone reading this considers that they truly and absolutely honor life in every moment and every breath, I’d say it’s great, but maybe some further insight into what that would absolutely mean change one’s perspective, because there’s a ton of processes that take place in every moment in our bodies and minds that we are not aware of at all and are abusive in nature, yet we believe that ‘we only do good’ which is as well one of those masks one has to be willingly able to question and challenge if anything to then dive into the real nature of ourselves.

This is to simply say that according to what I’ve become aware of and lived in my own body: as long as we hold a mind in a body as a human being = we surely have a way to go in truly learning to honor our very own breath of life.

Therefore, what happens when calling others ‘psychopaths’  is that we create a comfortable shield to ‘look away’ from oneself, point fingers, blame, maybe provide some relevant information, but this approach where an ‘us’ vs. ‘them’ is created keeps us all going in circles without any solution, because there’s no actual self-reflection to ponder what the existence of ‘chemtrails’ reveal about ourselves, our interests, our nature, the consciousness or principles behind it, what for? What are the fears that have driven another human being like me to create such thing? And so be able to reflect such patterns, behaviors, interests back to self, to see that any of those people that ‘created’ chemtrails doesn’t have a different mind to ours, doesn’t belong to another ‘existence’ to do it, ‘they’ are still motivated by the same fears and desires as any other human being and yes, that includes me and you, no question about it.

What does this approach of ‘interacting’ with the news to read the human nature behind certain events imply? Well, it implies that after reading a particular article or hearing/watching certain information, any ‘fact’ that may be placed in any type of news I practice ‘bringing it back to myself’ =  I translate it to see what fears drove that person/organization to act or decide to do or not do a certain thing? What kind of experience was sought in doing/not doing it? What kind of mind patterns and behaviors were present in the creation or eventual consolidation of a particular outcome? What is this ‘world event’ or ‘news’ showing me about what we are as humans – our current human nature – what are we accepting and allowing and so (re)creating? 

And then I consider potential outcomes for solutions asking myself: what could be done in order to prevent this kind of outflow or consequence? What could have been provided to this/that person or group of people to consider other ways to fix their problem? What other previous causes/problems had to exist in order to create this consequence or problem and so, how can we focus on the origin and cause of those problems instead of only dealing with the surface consequence? This includes also considering what kind of solutions, support and assistance could prevent or change the origin and so outcome of this event/situation?

This approach is something I’ve been practicing because of being one of those people that would get trapped in the polarity of wanting to be ‘super informed’ about everything and all, like ‘sucking the news feed dry’ lol and then getting to a point of being ‘too fed up with everything’ becoming a bit paranoid at times, feeling disempowered and helpless/hopeless about the state of affairs of our world,  focusing ‘too much’ on the ‘out there’ and not really that much on the right-here as myself, my mind, my own patterns and behaviors which in my life led me to focus on certain evasive activities that became too confusing, sometimes destructive and keeping myself in a loop of feeling depressed and seeing ‘no way out’ for ourselves as human beings in this world.

Therefore, upon taking into consideration the realization that everything that I see around me as this world is myself/ourselves, it opens up both the door to understand the problems and so the solutions.

What becomes a prominent realization is the actual ‘evil’ in the world-system, which of course we can already explain as the evil that exists in each one of us that has become as the ‘nature of the system’ because of who we are and what exists within each one of us as the main ‘actors’ or players in this reality. Here when it comes to finding out the ‘nefarious’ and ‘draconian’ system we’ve created, I recommend to learn how to self-forgive. Because, if this entire reality is my reflection and creation, there is nothing and no one that will come and fix it, there is no punishment or vengeance that will ever sort it out except for learning to self-forgive our mistakes and abuses, individually and collectively, and so walk the process to take responsibility for such ‘evil’ within myself – which interestingly enough can be first denied, feared, neglected, then with time and perseverance to get to a self-honesty stance within oneself, can be opened up at an individual level to then – once that it is individually admitted and confronted through learning how to self-forgive: understanding what kind of behaviors, thoughts, fears can lead to oneself to think in ‘evil’ ways or ways that reverse the growth and potential of life – rather focus on first learning how to give myself another opportunity to correct my ways, my behavior in a way that becomes genuinely supportive for me and others, essentially being the living example of the kind of people I see is very much needed in this world.

This method comes with practicing a solution-based mindset throughout this process of self-support and self-responsibility, integrating the living principles that precisely rely on the consideration of what is best for all at this core and essential level that we all are existing as, which is life, existing in an equal-substance within everything and everyone. These realizations – with time and practice – become an active filter so to speak, through which I decide to actively see/look and understand what is ‘happening’ in the world, enabling me to take a more directive role in reflecting and so understanding the problems, looking at the possible solutions, the potentials to what we could create if our focus, attention, drive and determination is geared to genuinely do and create that which is best for all, not seeking to have others ‘do it’ and ‘change’ out there, but starting with oneself here.

It might sound an ‘easy’ thing to do on paper, but there are challenges that one can face when deciding to approach the world events and situations with this particular understanding. One of the obstacles is our own, dare I say, addiction to problems, to conflicts, to opposing, to being emotionally negative for example which was my case too. In my mind I was thriving to see everything just too dark, too complex to see any ‘way out’, which would feed my own sense of disempowerment and helplessness and worry as well as I have explained in previous posts. This then can be transcended (trance-ended) through getting out of – becoming directive in my mind and so body – my own brainwash of feeding emotions and instead, do something that is a rather ‘challenging’ thing to do for a person like me, which is to focus on the potential: what exists as a possibility and capacity to change within each human being, the potential that exists in the functioning of our entire system if the rules/regulations/laws/structures that we place as human beings would in fact be geared to honoring and supporting each one’s live to thrive, for all, regardless of races, languages, imaginary boundaries or creeds. In any sane mentality this sounds like the most simple thing to do, but I’ve found that in my case this is precisely the key to my own ‘deprogramming’ so to speak, and at the same time one of those challenging points to breakthrough.

Here, this relates also to the process of ‘turning one’s weakness into strength’ – example: If I saw that my usual knee-jerk reactions to seeing the state of affairs in this world was that of depression, sadness, worry, helplessness, hopelessness, seeing now way out, blame or covert ways of blame, anger and general destructive behavior towards myself and also in intent toward others, then it means I can turn all of that into a constructive way of approaching the same ‘state of current affairs’ and change the ways and attitudes with which I see reality unfold, and actually do something about it starting with myself in the way I co-create and participate in it.

What does ‘turning my weakness into strength’ means here? Developing a deliberate purpose for myself, my life to instead of giving up to see any ‘potential’ in this world, to rather prove first to myself that ability to change in my own life, in my own ‘ways and patterns’ which means turning my usual depression, hopelessness, helplessness, sadness into a solution-based mindset, using my critical or analyzing skills to understand the problem and at the same time seeing possible ways through and solutions, stopping myself deliberately from going into a form of blame and instead remind myself every time that ‘them’ and ‘those’ that I am pointing the finger at are nothing else but the greatest teachers and examples of what we have all collectively created and existed as human beings: they are Myself as well so I cannot go judging, blaming, hating myself, because I’ve proven that it leads nowhere. If anything that’s also one of the points why the whole ‘conspiracy theorist’ syndrome is an important one to debunk, where one gets so much information that one either becomes entirely helpless/hopeless and depressed to do anything about themselves and their reality around – giving up on life essentially – or they create a peculiar ‘antagonist’ stance that claims to stand for what is ‘best for everyone’ but! It just might not include the ‘ones that they point fingers as the culprits for everything!’ lol… and so the ball keeps rolling where there is no real forgiveness, no real understanding even in the groups, factions, associations and people that might have a good intent in creating a system, a solution that works for everyone, but as long as there’s any inkling of antagonizing others, a system, a person, a foundation of our reality =  we are prone to recreate the same war mentality.

 I’ve actively walked through these points toward people that I have openly judged on say YouTube for their solutions being ‘not exactly supportive’ – which I am also now in a completely different stance currently in my life around that – and also towards certain people in positions of power that I held a considerable amount of disdain too, exposing it to myself and others in my group of support to then flag the point back to myself to see how silly it is to create my own ‘human piñatas’ to blame and hate for all the ‘bad stuff’ going in the world, instead of realizing they are me as well, they are my mirror (my-error) and point to reflect on. Here again, I rather actively see what do they represent about myself, about ourselves as human beings that I can then work on aligning and correcting within me first, which starts with stopping this form of blame/anger/disdain toward ‘others’ I have placed the finger on as ‘culprits’ of anything. It goes back to self, not to ‘blame’ myself but to rather understand the futility of blame and instead turn it into a realization of self-responsibility.

What does this practically mean? To first see towards what or who in my life have I abdicated my own responsibility for – a god, ‘the mind,’ the system, my parents, my society, politicians, information, a ‘creator’ – to evade looking within me as the origin of the problem and so the solution. I’ve realized how it is only through actively doing this that one is no longer able to ‘see the problem out there’ as foreign or external to one’s own nature, because one can immediately recognize the same pattern/behavior others present as one’s own and so, what one can actively decide to live or what emerges within oneself is a form of humbleness or understanding towards others as to why they do what they do and why they are who they are.

This in turn becomes a constructive way of looking at things, a non-judgmental way of approaching the deeds and ways that others can present that we usually have either a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ reaction to, which keep us all polarized in the ‘pro’ and ‘anti’ this or that. Part of learning how to see the current reality through this new constructive filter of understanding and self-responsibility, is to not judge, to not see through morality, but to effectively learn to read the cause and consequences, actions and reactions and see them for what they are only, for the sheer purpose of understanding, learning from them and so then apply the personal interactive process of ‘taking the point back to self’ to see where and how have I done, lived or applied the same ways/patterns and reactions in my life that have also (re)created consequential outflows that cause problems in my life and that of others.

So in essence this is how from a form of disempowerment that can exist in some of us – or most of us – as a programmed form of self-limitation to give up, to wallow into the problem, to not see ‘ways out’, to feel numb, to feel inferior to ‘the powers that be’ or to feel like a ‘rat in a cage,’ one can instead decide to see the problems/situations objectively, through actively dispelling the fog and smokescreen of emotions like anger, sadness, fears, worries, helplessness, hopelessness and disempowering into seeing and recognizing the ‘main actors’ as another aspect/reflection of oneself that needs alignment, that needs correction and ultimately to realize that it can be cured/corrected/aligned or led toward a solution if some living principles or living words are ‘prescribed’ as the treatment, cure or antidote for any form of world-system disease, which of course in fact originates and emerges from… ourselves!

 

So it is so: as within so without. Therefore learning to self-forgive all of the mess that we see reflected as our world is a first way to learn to understand the problems, recognize our responsibility and so take an active role in changing ourselves from within, to eventually manifest this as our without, as the world.  

Instead of becoming overwhelmed, sad, depressed, disempowered from a wide awareness of all the things going on in people’s lives in this world, rather to focus and stick to the potential we all hold to be the solutions, to change our ways, to decide to benefit the whole instead of  only focusing on our selfish interests, to decide to challenge our ‘ingrained ways’ and do the actual self-work, self introspection and practical active engagement in self-change to be a creative force in this world, rather than a (self) destructive one.  

I embrace these living principles as the new ‘filter’ through which I decide to see my life, the ‘news’ in this world, my relationships, my own consequences and challenges and do so until this ‘new way’ becomes in fact the ‘new me’/ my new nature that also allows me to stand more as my own potential, which in turn enables me to see the potential in others as well, which is simply a result of doing and applying this to myself first.

Isn’t this a great way to start actually living life? I’d dare you to test this out and I warn you here not to hear the voices in the head that may say: “it’s not working, it feels wrong, I don’t like seeing the ‘good’, I don’t like all this ‘positivity’!” Because this is not at all a usual ‘positive spin’ or going to the ‘opposite pole’ type of solution here, but simply referencing a more self-responsible and interactive way to participate in and co-create our lives, to be really empowered and have it in our own hands so to speak.

Dare to challenge the ‘same old you’ every day upon seeing ‘the news’ or ‘state of affairs’ of your own life and that of everything/everyone in this world and see what comes out of it.

 

Thanks for reading.

 

Learn HOW to start doing this yourself :

 

Rumbos Inciertos 06

 

Other blogs to check out on the topic:

386. War Crimes are Born in the Mind
401. How to Live a ‘Change in Consciousness’?
2012 Can Self Interest be Common Sense?
Day 3– De-Capital-I-zing Me
Dysfunctional Minds

377. What is a Real Democracy?

“…for men change their rulers willingly, hoping to better themselves, and this hope induces them to take up arms against him who rules: wherein they are deceived, because they afterwards find by experience they have gone from bad to worse. This follows also on another natural and common necessity, which always causes a new prince to burden those who have submitted to him with his soldiery and with infinite other hardships which he must put upon his new acquisition.” – Niccolò Machiavelli

 

How many times have we criticized a politician or a person in any place of authority for not ‘sticking to their word’ and breaking whichever promise or commitment they said they would live out and apply under their rule as the representation of the people? Many times, in fact it has become the way to present the idea that we are ‘wise enough’ to understand that ‘we are being duped’ and how this is all ‘being done unto us’ without realizing that in this victimized state one establishes the immediate denial of self-responsibility and inverts it into a point of blame as if they had some godly powers to solve this reality’s problems, which are in fact created individually by each one of us.

 

See how we have conferred and justified this gigantic responsibility of solving the world’s problems to a few individuals that we believe that we are doing a favor to by voting for them to take a position of god/authority over everything and everyone in a particular nation or institution. Within this, we believe that anything that they do wrong is then a point of abuse and we have the right to despise and ask them to ‘pay for their crimes against humanity.’ essentially going from the initial ‘love’ as expectations of change, progress and honesty to ‘hate’ as the disillusion and disappointment that emerges when something or someone doesn’t meet our expectations – but:

Why and How are we expecting, waiting, wanting others to do the work that we all should do as a matter of self-integrity and responsibility?

 

Unless we understand this, we will continue ‘fighting the powers that be’ and believing that ‘a change of powers’ is what’s required in this world, instead of realizing that the way to dissolve any form of abuse is to dissolve the illusion of such power and its structural legitimized form through only voting in ‘democratic elections’ to choose our leaders, without even questioning why such positions in society exist.

 

Affirmations

 

Continuing from:

 

Self Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever criticize, denigrate, point fingers at and call the people that are in positions of ‘power’ out as in governments or corporations, heads of institutions for not ‘sticking to their word’ and their oath to contribute to everyone’s well being, without realizing that the sheer contract they are signing up for as a ‘position of power’ is already in itself an imposition of a position that creates abuse – because for some to be ‘on top’ some must be ‘below’ – and as such a public consent and permission to rule over others, which is in itself a violation of the law of life in equality since there can be no ‘higher ranks’ in the physicality that we all exist as in reality, there is no ‘hierarchy’ within who we are as human beings of flesh and bones and as such, all of the formation of the hierarchical structures exists only within who we are and have become in and as the mind

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to point fingers at, criticize, blame, denigrate or call names to the people in ‘power’ that didn’t stick to their promises through for example a political campaign and in fact end up doing the exact opposite of what they had promised, not realizing that the position of power in itself is deception and a point of abuse with public consent, and how once the contract is signed, the position of allowing one individual to have the ultimate say upon millions of lives while being a collectively accepted delusion that we have only learned how to complain about, instead of realizing that for genuine change in this world, we have to stop ceasing to exist within the belief that we can only progress as humanity if we have a good president/ good people in authority and within that, confiding our self responsibility to one/a few individuals

I realize that the solutions to the problems we face are the outflows of what we have done and/or neglected to do at an individual level.

I realize there is no way in which one or a few individuals can solve the inherent problems within the system that is not only existing as the ‘power structure’ and ‘hierarchical orders’ we have accepted and allowed to exist as ruling powers in our societies, but it is existent within each one of us, individually the moment that we believe that our lives are in the hands of those in governments/positions of power, no different to how we had believed in a god to be taken care of each one of us and delegating all responsibility to a ‘higher power/higher being’ to solve the problems that we individually create and consequent every single day of our lives.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I have criticized presidents and people in power for ‘not sticking to their promises’ of what they said they would do and in the end didn’t do, without realizing that I have done exactly the same when saying that I will do/say/act on/change something and eventually don’t do it, wherein my situation is then no different to any other ‘person in power’ that one has placed any form of trust and expectancy upon to ‘do the work for us’ as if it was Their responsibility to take care of our own personal lives, which has never been in fact so because it Shouldn’t be that way to begin with.

I realize that the only way that we will be able to properly function as society is when the idea of something or someone having ‘more power’ than the rest ceases to exist, because then we will no longer be able to point fingers at/ blame/ justify our own abdication of responsibility, but will have to actually take care of our own lives, ourselves as it always should have been.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that the existence of ‘power’ defined through a hierarchical structure in society is the acceptance of abuse in a legitimate way, because not even through so-called democratic processes can we confer all our responsibility to one single individual we directly vote on, and as such the real meaning of democracy is not understood yet – 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define and think of Democracy as yet another electoral process only implying ‘one man, one vote’ to get one individual in a position of power as in government/ directive positions of authority, without realizing that Democracy as the actual Power of The People is in fact the individual ability to respond and take care of our own lives in the consideration of what is best for all, wherein ‘power’ only means the ability to move, to direct, to  operate and function as a living organism that we are as society, wherein each one of us becomes one single cell that is equally important and equally relevant within the functioning of the whole as the social organism we are.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having ever accepted the idea of any individual being ‘superior’ or ‘inferior’ to myself according to the hierarchical structure that exists at an unconscious level in each one of us, wherein the foundation of our current social, economic and political systems resides, where we haven’t yet realized how these structures exist only for the sake of keeping control through fear,  and allowing ourselves to be directed with the excuse of ‘knowing better’ on how to direct entire populations through politics, economics, education, media – just because we have accepted and allowed ourselves to abdicate our responsibility to our own lives and along with this, be misinformed, uneducated and believe ourselves to be powerless to know how the system operates, to learn the necessary practical knowledge to implement an equally-empowered structural organization in society, because we simply accepted the fact that there were only a few individuals that were meant to be educated in specialized elite schools to become our leaders, and the rest to become followers and as such, having little to no access to the information and support to develop the ability of self-leadership and self-governance.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever take a person in power’s position as real and personal, meaning making of the individual an actual evil, bad, mean, greedy, psychopathic person, without realizing that every time that I also do not act according to what I say I would do and live by, every time that I am moved by self interest to satisfy an experience in the mind instead of doing that which supports me as what is best for all, whenever I expect others to take responsibility for what I see is my responsibility to take care of it, I am living out the exact same patterns that any person in any position of power stands in, because we are all human beings and all that is different is the context in which they exist – yet myself at an individual level contributes and represents that one point that makes the nature of this entire system as self-abuse, which is thus reflecting back to ourselves who we really are in our own minds and personal lives.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that some other individuals have to be specialized in understanding how ‘the system operates’ and that I had nothing to do with it, but that one pays them through taxes to ‘do the work’ that we are and have been unable to conduct ourselves, within this using the saying of ‘give as you would like to receive’ in self interest to abdicate self responsibility, giving money  in taxes, giving our ‘vote’ as preference for one or few individuals to do the work that we haven’t realized must be our own individual point of self-responsibility to conduct ourselves by in our lives.

I realize that the equation we have done with money is of the absolute legitimization of corruption and abuse within the existence of money itself, which makes the act of ‘corruption’ just a redundancy that is tacitly implied in the existence of our monetary systems, our value systems and world-system in itself wherein hierarchy as power is no different to the power that we currently have given to money: it only exists as the collective agreement to abuse and have power over reality with no direct reference to physical reality.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the power of people in ruling and leading classes within our social hierarchical structures was legitimate because of being voted by the people, without realizing that this power is no different to the consent we believe we have given to the creation of money as debt, in essence as a pyramid scheme represented as our hierarchical structure wherein we have always bowed down to those that ‘have more/ are in positions of power’ and within that establishing the acceptance of inferiority and self victimization.

I realize that we have become subject to and trapped in our own beliefs of inferiority and ‘power-lessness’ without seeing and realizing that such power we ‘gave away’ is not real in fact since there is no physical power transferred but in the form of money – currently being a collective acceptance of abuse over life – and in the form of not doing and not taking care of everything that will be ‘taken care of’ by those that we vote for to be doing what we have abdicated ourselves to do.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify the ‘ills’ and ‘problems’ in society through saying that ‘it is because of the government/ it’s a systematic problem’ without realizing that this it is in fact what we accept and allow to exist in our own minds individually, which then becomes a problem that is hard to solve by one or a few individuals or an entire political structure, if the individual responsibility within it all is not realized.

 

When and as I see myself denigrating, backchatting, cursing at or having thoughts about what a political or corporate leader is doing as a consequential outflow to ourselves in our society, I stop and I breathe – I realize that each individual human being in this world being in a ‘leadership’ position represents the abdication of our self-responsibility and actual political power as the direction of our own lives that we have neglected to take care of, and as such making it a few individual’s responsibility within a structure of disempowerment as hierarchical orders in society.

I realize that whatever ‘they do’ is only an outflow of the inequality in responsibility that we have created, accepted and allowed in our world – therefore instead of blaming and judging and opposing others, I take the point back to myself and ensure that I begin living by the principles of self-honesty, beginning with actually doing what I say I will do, considering what is best for all at all times and in that seeing that my responsibility to my own life to live in integrity and self-honesty means the foundation of a new society that we can create individual by individual until we realize that we do not require one single individual to be in such a position of ‘power’ and leadership, but instead become the embodiment of self-governance, self-leadership, having the ability to always decide and do what is best for all and as such, no more hierarchical powers to conduct our society will be required, for we will be living the actual ‘power of the people’ as a genuine Democracy that exists at an individual level of living self-responsibility.

 

I commit myself to realize that genuine democracy is not ‘choosing a person to be in office through one man, one vote’ only, realizing that such vote is not merely crossing a paper in election day, but actually becoming a self-responsible individual that understands that each one of us taking responsibility for ourselves creates a genuine democracy as each  individual stands in self-honesty and considering at all times what is best for all.

 

A real democracy is the individual ability to direct oneself in self-responsibility and consideration of equal rights and equal responsibilities,  living together in a way that is best for all. The real ‘power of the people’ cannot be represented, it must be individually and practically lived and applied.

 

MLK

 

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For Self-Education:

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207. Changing the World in Self Interest

 

Continuation of the Elite Character – Self Interest when wanting to ‘Change the World’

 

Now from the personal interests and keeping ourselves in a position of current benefits, we jump to also another aspect of self interest which, as I had explained in the previous blogs, has to do with an inherent desire to get to a position of power/ recognition by becoming some form of libertarian to society, while earning money and living quite ‘well’ within the system – not to mention how I would mostly be only speaking about it but not doing anything practical about it. This is the substantial aspect that we can all still see around us: many people becoming ‘aware’ of change and wanting to ‘change the world’ but how much of that awareness is in fact practical to do create a tangible physical reality that can be best for all? Only by promoting social equality or justice within the context of my understanding back then would have lead to another revolution wherein further conflicts ensue without any actual change that would lead to a realization of how it is that Money is the current point that is required to be changed/ reformed in order to establish any form of change in this world. I was only looking at governments back then, people in it, and all the entire world-system as just some type of ‘evil’ that I was absolutely a victim of. This is where the trick resides here, how we have always separated ourselves from the responsibility of what is here and rejoiced in being able to point fingers and even Drive other beings to become aware at the same level of opposition and lead them to further ways to ‘escape the system,’ of which I am also responsible for and have walked in self forgiveness throughout my process, because I also led people to further irresponsibility and opposition within my apparent ‘clarity’ about reality, which was, once again, only stemming from my desire to place myself as this righteous benevolent person that wanted to change the world and bring ‘social justice’ while neglecting my own responsibility within it. How easy, isn’t it?

In reality, we have realized it cannot possibly as easy as that, it cannot possibly be just a matter of ‘letting things run  its course’ and be asking for change while even desiring to get further recognition for being a ‘voice for the people,’ while maintaining our own benefits and being deliberately oblivious to how we were ‘good for fighting’ against the system, but not at all even being aware of how our own self-interest was still stemming from not being willing to give up our ‘little bits of heaven’ in order to dedicate our lives to an actual change, because we weren’t even aware of what that implies.

 

So, this is how at Desteni we are aware that social, political and economical change is required in order for the World to change – and that cannot exist if there is no Education for human beings in order to realize to what extent the configuration of this reality – including the ‘opposition’- was part of a greater scheme of enslavement of which we are all equally participants of by the sheer fact of being here. This implies that the first step is taking Self Responsibility of what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become and within that, become part of a group that promotes Self Responsibility in order to establish an actual change and reform to the current system, while realizing that it is not about ‘opposing it’ nor spiritualizing the entire process to a heavenly experience of ‘self change’ either – it is rather a realization of practical steps and considerations that one must be absolutely willing to walk as an Understanding and Realization of what must be done, instead of it being just another activity to make oneself feel ‘better’ or ‘good’ or aim to get to some ‘higher position’ within society, which would absolutely go against everything that we stand for which is Equality as Life, as physical beings that decide to stand up and take responsibility.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever think that wanting to ‘change the world’ was going to be a nice, blissful type of experience wherein I would be able to maintain all my benefits and even earn ‘more’ by promoting ‘change’ in this world, which is the entire personality of how I wanted to obtain some form of reward/ benefit from doing something ‘good’ to society, which reveals to what extent we have never been self-willed beings but have only regurgitated the same words and desires to ‘do something’ about reality, but never even questioning why we, people with certain amount of money, were wanting to do some ‘change’ just by promoting it, without understanding how the system works and how the actual change entails money and entails a process of participation within the system, not outside of it.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire ‘world change’ and expecting it to just ‘happen’ by a sudden realization of ourselves human beings being willing to just ‘do something about the world/ ourselves’ which was quite an ignorant desire from my side, mostly relying on an spiritual type of agenda that I also participated in, wherein I believed that somehow everything would be aligned to a ‘wonderful outcome’ in the end, and this relying on how brainwashed I had always been to believe that ‘in the end everything will be just fine,’ becoming a comfortable belief-system and ‘certainty’ within me in order to just continue pursuing my own position of promoting ‘change’ but never even looking at the actual root/cause of the problem in this world system, which is Money.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create an entire character within myself of becoming an opposition to ‘the Elite’ once that I realized my own position and the self interest that I was living in, without realizing that I never actually stopped being part of the people that have enough money to eat and be educated – thus, I only ‘changed my mind’ about money, but I never changed my actual understanding of how it is that money works, how it is that no matter how much I pretended to ‘care’ about others as long as I remained oblivious to myself, my own self-change as an actual introspection and investigation of my life to see where and how I could in fact contribute to a world-change based on what’s best for all, I simply was projecting a desire to ‘change others’ / the world without having to look at myself, because that would mean then that I was in fact not ‘right’ and within my own mind: I was absolutely ‘right’ about what I was aiming to do and be/ become, neglecting the fact that I was also absolutely responsible for everything that I was pointing fingers at within this world, while still remaining under the protective shadow of having enough money to live well and still manage to criticize the system with no further solutions other than opposing it and ‘asking for change’ to the ‘authorities.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect things to always work out ‘just fine’ in the end when embarking myself within a process of becoming an antagonist and opposition toward the world system, wherein I essentially would only take pride of being an ‘aware being’ and ‘not being brainwashed,’ developing a constant anger toward society, media, people in general, without realizing that the actual point of change and real awareness that I was missing was myself, first realizing how I am equally responsible for this world which is ludicrous but, I never even considered how I was responsible for this entire world’s situation and that me and my desires to ‘change the world’ were coming and existing from the self-righteous belief that I had nothing to do with ‘what is going on in this world’ and that I was only a ‘victim’ of it, without realizing how this became my own protective mechanism from realizing how we have all contributed to the current state of the world by the mere fact of existing, by the mere fact of using money and by the mere fact of believing that we had some ‘higher purpose’ in life and that my ‘higher purpose’ was linked to becoming ‘aware’ and be the ‘world changer’ personality, from the starting point of opposing the system, not realizing that I am in fact one and equal As the system and that the system is ourselves.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to change the world from the perspective of the Enlightened Self Interest, wherein ‘in the end’ I would also get a higher position after such apparent ‘world change’ which is the motivation that I had been conditioned to follow through as part of the entire process of ‘getting to a higher position in society’ while wearing a ‘world peace’ banner in my mind in order to justify the means to my projected ‘success’ as in doing it for a ‘good cause,’ which in the end is no different to any other job/ position that is intending to ‘do well’ and most likely only remain as a ‘promoter’ instead of an active participant within the system, working on a solution that will certainly not allow further elitism in society or any other vainglory form of personalized benevolence but only the realization that we can only thrive as humanity when all beings are equally supported. That implies that:

 

I commit myself to walk the process of realizing how any form of world change cannot contain any form of individual self interest to get to a ‘higher position’ at all, as that would obviously imply that only the same system that allows such ‘superiority’ would be reinforced with another mask of ‘change’ – an actual consideration and actions toward world change imply doing it from the starting point of realizing how we are one whole as one organism that can only continue living if we regard all parts/ all beings as equals – this implies then that only equal positions in society can exist wherein all people are equally supported with money to live, with education to understand how we can all practically become self-responsible beings and within this, understanding how money can only be valued as life in order to maintain such well being in society, wherein a form of sickness/unbalance to the organism can only exist if one single part is desiring to get ‘more’ than the other part, which is then another form of Self Abuse that must be understood as such and not any longer as Success which is how we’ve been currently brainwashed to think ‘power’ is.

 

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203. The Acceptance of Heaven is the Allowance of Hell

As humanity we have walked life after life not questioning anything in our reality, learning that things are ‘how they are’ because ‘that’s how it works’ and swallowing up this chill-pill-answer which in my case, I swallowed with some discontent initially – however, because I had no physical suffering, lack of food, lack of a house, lack of family, lack of education and learned that even though I was seeing suffering on the streets, being witness to hideous acts of madness – all was apparently ‘fine’ and we could still ‘enjoy’ and ‘have fun’ and seek for our greatest excitement and monetary success,  I simply learned to turn a ‘blind eye’ and being perfectly aware of every moment that I would compare my reality to that of children my age that had to be working on the streets, knocking door by door asking for food and clothes, me only reacting with absolute powerlessness every time, feeling sorry for a few minutes – then forgetting about it and continue with my happy go round life that was possible due to Money. Because, in the end,  what one learns at home when being in a middle-class society is to always aiming ‘higher’ in the social pyramid of greed and negligence and not really bother in trying to ‘save the world/ change the world’ as I had expressed some times – all of it actually stemming from me more feeling ‘bad’ about it than really even considering at that stage me being Them as in equally being here in this world, and that the acceptance of their condition held/ sustained my own pursuit of happiness.

This is similar to the acceptance of heaven and hell and my early obsession with polarity and wondering how I could only fathom ‘staying on the good side’ of BenEVILence, doing all I could to remain always at the good eyes of that god/ spiritual all-seer that I believed in and that became- along with my reality – the constant guiding forces while growing up: the social-conditioning of focusing on ‘aiming higher’ and the spiritual context (I apparently was not raised religiously, but ‘spiritually’ lol)  of doing good/ being a good girl/ aiming to ascend to the light realms when being dead. I did not know much about ‘heaven’ or the bible – but was well aware of Hell and I knew I had to avoid it at all cost. Now, this single neglect toward Hell/ Evil/ Demons the ‘Bad’ and Dark side of reality was almost like a taboo that no one wanted to talk about, not even talking about ‘death’ which obviously, lead me to later on develop my own fascination toward all the things that had been kept ‘unknown’ to me as part of any form of Education and Family/ Society, wherein all one focuses is ‘staying on the positive side! Be Happy! Seek for your own personal improvement!’ type of reality. But still, I was not satisfied.

 

I became a news fanatic when I was probably on my early teens and this was mostly beginning to wanting to understand the financial systems because of aiming at a career in such realms initially – obviously then veering off to the total opposite within hearing everyone say how I was absolutely ‘out of my mind’ if I even think I could create a change in this world – it bummed me out and that’s how I essentially Gave UP any form of actual career that would lead me to be In the system, the core of it in the money-markets and financial deals and veered toward that which I believed was more ‘humane’ such as socials sciences, ending up in literature and arts – which till this day even after all I see hold enough opening and consideration toward that which can create a change in this world if implemented at an educational level.

 

So this is a bit of a background of how I learned to ‘turn a blind eye’ on reality, essentially quickly conforming with everything that seemed like a ‘better option’ for me to take on in my reality, which suited what I was informed I had to aim at while growing up: being a successful person like my parents, in ‘whatever’ I decided to be and become. And I accepted that constant impulse as something ‘cool’ you know? Because I was being ‘cheered up’ by my parents every time that I ‘succeeded’ in my school, yet I always never felt quite happy with it, because I would go into ‘feeling bad’ about those that were behind me and were not even able of attaining a proper mark, even if I had witnessed they tried very hard to – and so this impotence grew and grew within me, not knowing why on Earth did I have it ‘so easy’ in  my life and others were struggling – and this, was my acceptance of ‘Heaven’  as something that was meant only for a few – and denying Hell as the reality of this world, as everything that I could see and perceive as being ‘behind me/ below me’ in any form of social taxation that I became aware of while realizing that there were kids my age – 6 –7 or even less – working on the streets, asking for food, asking for coins while their mothers fed babies next to them, on the sidewalk.  I allowed myself to just pretend that it is ‘fine’ and that they are somehow having to PAY for some awful act in some past life and that’s ‘why’ they are poor/ neglected and even receiving further abuse by the authority, the level of Injustice I became aware of really ‘brought me down’ into a constant state of depression and being sad about the state of the world, only later on and even today realizing/ remind myself how this is also a state of self interest, wherein I then certainly sought to escape from this reality through the realm of imagination, pictures, inspiration, seeking ‘beauty’ in this world where there was clearly non – all as a failed attempt to redeem life in one way or another, never ever considering to what extent I had ‘signed up the contract’ to be part of the ones that wanted to ‘change the world’ outside of ourselves, feeling ‘bad’ for the unfortunate ones and essentially committing myself to want to do some ‘good’ mostly from the starting point of me not feeling guilty for having had a rather privileged lifestyle, as opposed to what I would witnessed around me.

Continuation of the Elite Character

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I had to be and become ‘successful’ just like my parents, wherein this positive attitude and positive experiences was always linked to having money in our pockets and ensuring that we became ‘good savers’ and within that, giving some charity to those that had Nothing only to ‘share what we have’ without ever really considering how the very acceptance of us being able to give to ‘unfortunate ones’ that which we could spare them, implied the acceptance and allowance of inequality in this world as ‘how the system works’ wherein instead of learning about the creation of poverty and inequality that lead to social injustice, I con.formed to only feel ‘bad’ about them and give them money fro once in a while, giving  clothes away while creating an experience of powerlessness within me about them/ the unfortunate ones, which implies how I would only feel bad about them when being in their presence – yet remaining focused on my ‘aim’ to achieve my goals in life, which was mostly linked to being a good person/ doing good to others/ caring about ‘the world’ such as the environment, pollution – I did not even consider animals that much – and essentially creating this profile of being a ‘good person’ linked to success and most importantly, linked to a reward in the afterlife.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to brush aside the fact that I did believe in a light-realm where all the dead people would go to and I was aware of the so called ‘caves of darkness’ wherein I learned that people that had, for example, been participating in wars would go to, and that I would simply have to do everything I could to avoid going there – it wasn’t called ‘hell’ but just ‘darkness’ so, I had to avoid darkness which in this world translated to avoid ending up as a ‘no one’ with no-money/ no-light in this world and within that, see all people that were with no-light/ no-money and living on the streets, being absolutely helpless as people that had probably been inherently evil in some past life and within that justifying their existence as poor people/ unfortunate ones according to that ‘law’ which I later on became aware it was called karma.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to ‘do good’ in my life not because I genuinely cared about other beings, but because ‘I’ did not want to suffer and feeling bad when looking at them and realizing that I had ‘more’ than them – essentially thus any thought or intention of ‘doing good’ was directly linked to the inherent guilt and shame that I developed when and while growing up, due to me feeling powerless to do anything about their situation and as such, always only focusing on how I would experience myself toward the ‘unfortunate ones,’ and believing that I had to redeem Myself by being a good/ careful person even though I always felt awkward while pretending to be so, yet played the act because I wanted to be seen with ‘good eyes’ by society and ultimately by whatever force I was expecting on ‘the other side’ so, I did walk a life of ‘keeping score’ of being a good person, fearing doing ‘bad things’/ fearing ‘evil people’ and only promoting a way to ‘elevate ourselves’ in social conditions and even beingness such as being more ‘enthusiastic’ about life – wanting to ‘do good’ to the ‘less fortunate ones’ yet never in fact investigating what were the causes of their current unequal stance within the system, what was the reason why they were not being helped to have a dignified living and blatantly accepted then poverty just as part of my landscape, not bothering to question about it further because of not getting straight answers about it – thus con.forming, keeping quiet, turning a blind eye and instead focusing only on my personal world and satisfaction, escalating social statuses and aiming at all times to ‘be successful’ in whatever I decided to be and become.

 

I realize that my very starting point of ‘caring for others’ has never been something natural/ genuine to me, no matter how hard I tried to believe it was. But was mostly caused by the fear of having to ‘pay’ something/ someone in the afterlife for having been a ‘bad person’ such as having a ‘good life’ and in that, neglecting others’ realities such as the unfortunate ones, wherein I then tried to ‘do my part’ by seeking to oppose the system, criticize it, judge it and essentially pointing fingers at everyone else but myself, which is how I became self-righteous about my evil  (195. The Righteousness of Evil) and took it to the extent of denying vehemently that I was an equal and one participant of everything in this world that would case suffering, death, starvation in it – it really took me a while to understand how by just the single fact of me being Here as a breathing physical being, I was equally responsible for all that which I had turned a blind eye from for a very long time and how the very position of wanting to ‘do good’/ be a good person’ to the unfortunate ones was in fact blatant self interest, seeking to stop feeling ‘bad’ about those that had no money/ no support from anyone and within that, also earning ‘points’ toward a lightish/ heavenly experience, avoiding going to the ‘caves of darkness’ that I knew simply was something to avoid.

 

This became the foundation of ‘how I functioned’ in my reality, wherein for a long time what ruled me obviously was then only looking at the positive and doing essentially what I believed was ‘proper’ in terms of seeking to give charity/ support to the ‘less fortunate ones’ once that I had attained my elitist-supreme position that I did seek after in my mind/ imagination when thinking about professions and careers that I could direct myself to, which was not up to long ago some 6 years ago wherein I aimed at becoming a ‘well known’ artist so that I could then ‘speak up and change the world!’ because I apparently never stopped wanting to ‘make a change’ but I was precisely not wanting to give up my OWN benefits in order to see how everything works in reality and how I was directly responsible for that which I was trying to ‘save’ and ‘correct’ and ‘reform’ in this reality.

 

So, I commit myself to realize and accept the fact that I have never really genuinely ‘cared’ for other beings in an absolute unconditional manner, due to me always wanting to ‘add up to my score’ of doing something good to others, instead of realizing this is a matter of principle, of Understanding reality wherein once that you Understand, See and Realize how this entire existence functions, how the world system stems from our very relationship of the mind toward the physical, how energy and substance operate, what was heaven and hell and what they represent until today within our lives, how the world system functioned with a preprogrammed life path for all beings wherein there were by design some elitist beings that became the example and role model for the masses to attempt to ‘equate’ to  – while creating poverty, starvation, the ‘ostracized’ and marginalized people that were sustaining such wealth being absolutely disregarded out of the equation of any form of satisfaction and fulfillment. And within this all, realizing that there is No excuse at all to not stand up for life, not only because of it being our absolute responsibility, but because we are it – it is not even about creating a sense of ‘duty’ within it all, it’s about self-realization of us being that whole that is currently undergoing the ‘trials and tribulations’ that are nothing but the outcome of having lived entire lives only seeking to maintain an apparent ‘well being’ at the expense of others that were deliberately quieted/ shut down or even ostracized from the system in order for the majority to seek after the ‘good life’ here and in the hereafter, which became the most well known lie to be Sould in existence, not even only in humanity.

 

Thus I commit myself to realize that the starting point of myself within this process of Self-Equality and Oneness in Self Honesty implies realizing and recognizing the fact that one was initially motivated by obtaining something ‘good’ out of this, some form of ‘reward’ for walking process, without realizing that it is not about changing the world ‘out there’ for others, but changing My world With others – which is something you can read at Heaven’s Journey To Life which clarifies to the exact T. this subtle differentiation that makes actually a big difference with regards to the approach of ‘changing the world’/ wanting to go do good’ and all the points that we must consider before even being able to consider any form of ‘change’ within ourselves/ our reality.

 

I understand that Education is the fundamental aspect to this, as I am a witness of it myself. the more I educate myself about Reality with everything that is being presented as the Investigation of  Existence and this Reality through the Eqafe interviews, I become more certain about myself, my process, my understanding and playing my own ‘devil’s advocate’ to see where the hell there exist still any form of self interest to walk this process, which obviously cannot remain at all not a single iota of ‘convenience’ can determine my every move, otherwise it will be pointed out by myself in Self Honesty in order to realize that any form of Energy-seeking desire is Self-Dishonesty and that implies going to both the ‘good’ and the ‘bad’ as poles of the same energetic fix that the mind is always seeking for.

 

I commit myself to be absolutely self honest to any point of support that I commit myself to give to myself and share with others, in order to not create a certain persona of myself, standing up for ‘something good’ but simply realizing it is a single alignment and correction of how things should have always worked/ functioned in our reality. And this is then a matter of physical principles of living conditions, not of an egotistical approach to make ourselves feel ‘more’ than what we already are here.

 

I will continue  in the following posts debunking my acceptance of an elitist character within me, wanting to ‘do good’/ be good while still holding on mainly a personal self interest about it all to become ‘more’ than myself apparently.

 

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1oo. Communication

We write to share ourselves as the realizations we go walking day by day, moment by moment as we walk the process to be and become the living word, the expression of who and what we are as one and equals.

Within this, we understand the importance of words and how one single misunderstanding can lead to wars  – literally – just because we had never taken the task in itself to redefine words, to ensure that each one is in fact having an equal and one understanding of the words we speak.

We have been living thus in a schizophrenic world because: we had never in fact lived the words we speak, we never questioned the existence of words that in no way support life but only sounded ‘powerful’ in separation of myself. We never bothered to ask ourselves how it is that through the words we speak, we have constructed, built and apparently ‘evolved’ in a world-system that is clearly sustained by the same flawed nature of our language based on illusions – and not upon the physical reality.

 

Communication is sharing the expression of who we realize we are as one and equal in order to expand ourselves within the realization that whatever we say/ do and live by in this world, pertains to every single being in an equal manner. Communication is the interaction between two or more beings directed to establish a point of understanding about ourselves, our reality and as such, direct ourselves to be and become an actual equal and one expression of/ as who we really are – pointing out/ making a point of separation evident within walking and living the correction necessary as words themselves.

 

Vocabulary  works just like our monetary system – it is words that became the key holders of separation: each word is  a packaged division / definition awaiting to be redefined and aligned in a way that is best for all.

 

Hence in order to communicate effectively with others, I begin with myself.

We had never taken the very first consideration of equalizing the meaning of the words in a way that is best for all, so that no matter who speaks the word: the word is understood as an expression of who self is/ exists as in and as equals.

 

100 days of sharing on a daily basis – cool. I can only say that I’ve been learning how to communicate and correct my expression through my participation in the Desteni I Process , within the interaction and living realization of what words imply when lived as a point of self-correction, which then make of words actual parts of reality as ourselves, and no longer having words with no life-value position, which makes them irrelevant to even consider when realizing who we go creating a world that is best for all as we walk.

I commit myself to walk this process of redefining ‘who I am’ as words until it is done, which means that I can practically live day by day communicating with myself as the process of understanding, self-correction and self-realization that are always HERE as ourselves, the moment we allow ourselves to walk the process of redefining, clearing the memories and experiences attached towards another part of yourself is  then learning how to live the word as one and equal to, eventually, fully embody each word we speak as ourselves.

 

And this will continue…

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