Tag Archives: worthy

Day 3– De-Capital-I-zing Me

Seeing me as the Capital imposition upon Life- it’s not a pretty picture considering to what extent we have neglected the lives of the billions that live in this world without even getting to know what having meat on your skin actually feels like, how having food, shelter, water, toilets, and proper health care as the things that we have taken for granted, would be like a heaven that is never really manifested in their lives. How have we created such abuse? Yes, we all have done it, accepted and allowed it through our very “living” of a surrogate – and very limited – experience of ‘Life’ as an energetic system wherein for some to ‘be on top,’ abuse must exist to make sure that others remain invalidated within the system, way at the bottom with no ability to stand up. Who has been the ‘evil ones’ all the way?

 

Validation is a word that came up today wherein I see that we are always seeking to be validated by others, to con.firm that ‘I’ exist a a product that is and can be ‘valued’ in this reality in a lesser or greater position when comparing myself to others that are also existing as Capital-I’s impositions on Life. This capital is  the surplus as the delirium for power that I have ‘granted’ myself with  as an individual and as this entire physical reality in separation of myself, which exists as ideas, beliefs, perceptions of ‘who I am’ as the mind that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become, which translates into knowledge and information in the form of definitions, values and interests that are directly linked to how we have placed a price tag virtually upon everything and everyone in this world. Yes, even You and I have a price as well.

 

The desire to be validated/ recognized exists in us human beings as a way to keep ‘adding’ onto ourselves the necessary ‘props’ for our ego as thoughts, beliefs, memories, opinions and judgments that can ‘uplift’ our position within this current world-system configuration that is based upon Money. That way, we learn ways to make ourselves ‘liked’ and ‘praised’ and ‘accepted’ as that would ensure our survival within this current world system, within forming and creating relationships of self-interest wherein all bonds are formed just like financial bonds that eventually ‘pay off’ to our own benefit.  That way, we live a life of always seeking to be ‘above’ others, to finally ‘make it’ within the current accepted and allowed system of abuse wherein one can only exist ‘on top’ of another if the ones ‘below’ are invariably abused. There are no exceptions within that.

 

The sour truth is we have all created and manifested and maintained this world into the current crisis that it is because of having accepted that initial desire to be ‘Capital-I-zed,’ to be seen by the eyes of the mind of other human beings as being ‘worthy’ as being ‘great’ and ‘superior’ = seeking validation within the eyes of the mind that functions as this perpetual appraisal of each other as such assessment translates eventually into money, as ‘how we sell each other’ to the greatest bidder –  because money buys and money is the point that we have created as the main point of abuse in this world, the perfect creation of us, human beings in the name of power and self-Capitalized Interest.

 

The pursuit of happiness begins at a thought level, which is seeking that energy that will allow us to keep existing as that Inflated-idea of ourselves which is and cannot possibly be Real, as it only exists as thoughts, pictures, memories, beliefs, objects fabricated and created in separation of myself through and by the same system of abuse that uses the belief of energy as a requirement to exist, which is Not who I really am as this physical reality wherein I cannot, in any way, make myself ‘more’ or ‘less’ in an equality-equation in which life actually exists – yet our world system as the reflection of our very own nature, does Not work that way at the moment. And the consequences are already roaming the Earth as the inevitable facing of ourselves as our creation.

Our economy is founded upon these  beliefs around the ‘battery’ that we have made ourselves dependent-to in order to continue living as Money, along with the added values and ‘interest’ that we rate ourselves-with, as our entire personality and ego-creation that takes also money to create and sustain. Are we walking bank accounts that seek to be endowed with more and more all the time to get ‘wealthier,’ to accumulate all capital and get the most interests over time through our inversion?

 

Have a look at our thoughts and mind experiences: we are always seeking to make ourselves ‘worthy’ – or the direct opposite which works the exact same way – which cannot possibly exist other than in a mental-delusion of something being able to be  ‘more’ or ‘less’ in reality. The current separation that has become real is the outflow of these values we have imposed onto life; it’s in the current structure and functioning of the money system in which we have delegated our one and equal expression into a system that creates a surrogate experience of life, degrading it into a ‘cheap’ version of energies as emotions and ‘feel good vibes’ through a mechanism where loss and gain is made possible,  enslaving life to a binary programmed system of self-limitation, which reflects upon our money system: our own power-structure that decides who lives and who dies.

 

All of this begins by this acceptance and allowance of ourselves seeking validation in separation of who we are as life, as one and equal. We have ‘forgotten’ – or neglected – the fact that Life is the only value that is here, that is real and as such it is and cannot exist as something ‘measurable’ within an abstraction such as the money-belief-system that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to create and manifest in separation of life as who we really are.

 

We have to stop being appraisers of each other through the Capital-Eyes of money that we have created as a survival of the fittest jungle world, which implies that those that are not ‘worthy’ to the system, those that cannot ‘capitalize themselves’ because of being born in a readily-existent position of scarcity and lack of money, don’t stand a chance to ‘make it’ within this world. We are so compartmentalized in our own petty experiences that we cannot even fathom the extent of suffering that someone is going through as the result of us accepting and allowing the current world system ‘as is’ until now. 

 

Hence this survivalism is and has become the current constant competition and strive to live wherein money becomes equal to the appraisal’s judgments upon ourselves to remunerate us with creating a positive experience when being valued as ‘worthy’ and a negative experience when being valued as ‘unworthy.

 

The only Value that can exist is Life itself – that’s the value of Money in the Equal Money System -and because it exists in Equality, all value becomes irrelevant, just like a God that cannot exist if all is one and equal. God – as the Capitalized delusional concept and belief of an almighty superior being/ force in existence – can only exist if someone is subordinated and/ or deliberately subjugated to a lesser position = that can only be done through the deliberate  imposition of psychopathic systems to create and manifest separation from ourselves as Life, that we have violated into a ‘divide and conquer’ principle in the name of ‘power’ which can only come through abuse, wherein every single person is currently living by its rule of thumb in this world. 

 

It is unacceptable, we created this and it’s time to Stop.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a system of abuse without having ever questioned the ‘unreality’ that exists as values imposed to life that is here, values created by and through our very own mind, a mind that we are constantly seeking to re-charge to continue Capital-I-zing the idea of ourselves to get to a final state of ‘ultimate bliss’ and ‘fulfillment’ and ‘completion’ as the accumulation of energy as money, as positive judgments and experiences that can only exist if others are abused, subjugated and diminished to a lesser position so that I can stand in full-glory of myself.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having conveniently veiled and diminished my ability to understand this reality as the world system,  by delegating life and my self-direction through a mind system that is and has become the surrogate ‘living experience’ that can only function through and as an energetic system of abuse.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept such diminishment and enlargement of ‘who I am’ as values, beliefs and perceptions of ‘who I am’ as my mind, wherein I can see and realize that the ‘who I am’ is existing as thoughts, experiences, definitions as the energetic personality that I have carried and lived-as within my mind, which separates me from the very physical body and reality that is here as myself, the reality that I have abdicated my responsibility to within the moment that I opted to live within a pursuit of power, happiness, bliss, glory and eternal life as all the positive experiences that I allowed myself to accept as ‘what life is,’ as ‘successful living.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be educated to ‘capitalize’ the Idea of myself, gaining props and escalating positions to get to a secure point within the world system, wherein money is then assured as a validation, a licensed version of myself as being a ‘worthy system of life’ within the configuration of this entire world system of energetic abuse that I accepted and allowed myself to exist as.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek validation and being ‘worthy of life’ at the I’s of other capitalized mind systems, feeding off of each other to inflate the idea of ourselves, to create a delusional value that is beyond the physical flesh and bones as the substance that is who we really are in this world and reality.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to ever question the value systems existing in this world as the projection of the very value-systems that I have created, categorized and schemed within my own mind. This implies that I, as the creator of this system of abuse, is entirely responsible for all forms of separation and degradation of life due to and by the acceptance of a system of energetic abuse to exist as the illusion of living, as the equation of life to experiences generated by and through each participant’s mind in this reality.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create an energetic dependency to be constantly seeking validation outside of myself, which means seeking to sip and drain energy from the physical life substance to generate my personal entertainment and surrogate living as thoughts, feelings emotions which I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘identify’ myself with as ‘who I am,’ while neglecting the actual reality of suffering that stems from the polarized version of my pleasant experience of ‘success.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge ‘economy’ as a delusional pseudo-science, without realizing that it has become the very externalization of my own mind as this entire world system, as the study of the relationships of abuse and violation to the equality and oneness that is and has been here as myself. I did this to myself and the only point that is left, is forgiving myself for abdicating life to an experience –

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from life through the creation and manifestation of Money, from that very energy that I have used to abuse, to have an experience of ‘power’ over this reality and instead of questioning it further, I con-formed to it and abdicated any questioning towards it, because of wanting to remain in the most ‘comfortable’ position at all times.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ‘accept the system as is’ which implies never having even questioned my own mind, my own feelings and emotions and the generation of them as something that can alter ‘who I am’ at any given moment.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to live a surrogate life through the mind, where who I really am as life has been suppressed, contained and enslaved to an energetic system of co-dependency and parasitism that exists as the mind system that we all accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become.

 

I realize that I am the only one here that is responsible for this – one and equal as all participants are equally here as myself – thus, it is our individual responsibility to Stop this system of energetic dependency of ourselves as our mind, as thoughts, feelings, emotions, desires, dreams, pursuits of happiness, bliss, love and validation that can only exist in separation of the recognition of who we really are as life, as one and equal.

 

I commit myself to become the ‘I’ that stops all capitalism to exist within and as me, as my very own mind-patterns that seek to be validated, to be augmented in ‘value,’ that seek to be the ‘wealthiest’, the ‘most valued product’ in order to get the most Interest out of that accumulated Capital that I have invested myself with and enslaved my life to.

 

I breathe and realize that the extent of abuse that has stemmed form a single belief system of us being and existing as ‘separate’ from life, has deviated into our current reality = we are all responsible for it.

 

Thus what I can practically and physically do is:

I commit myself to stop all value-systems to exist within me, rating, assessing, appraising and oppressing the very life that I am by  my deliberate participation in a limited scope of ‘myself’ that I have become as a mind consciousness system.

 

I commit myself to integrate into this physical reality within and as a principle of what’s best for all, wherein the actions, words and thoughts that I create are self-directed and self-willed as the volition of Life that can only exist if all is equally considered within every decision made to have an outflow that’s best for all.

 

I commit myself to become part of the individuals that make sure that this world system as it is currently exists, as the reflection of myself as a mind system, ends –  this is done through and by Me stopping Capital-i-zing Myself through thoughts, feelings, emotions, desires, future projections of superiority and ‘greatness’ as self-interest that can only exist and be manifested if I allow myself to participate within such thoughts as desires, wants and needs. Therefore, I realize that the ability to stop participation in any thought, feeling, emotions and pattern that makes me ‘more’ or ‘less’ through an experience of the mind is in my hands.

 

I commit myself to walk my own mind of thoughts, feelings, pictures, emotions, memories, beliefs and any other experience to which I have diminished myself to, as the ego that I have capitalized and rated as a positive or negative experience within my participation in the mind.

 

I commit myself to get to a point of being equally here as the physical as myself by directing me from here on to do and live that which is best for all life, where no limitation and no excess can exist, where no devaluation and no inflation can exist, as I realize that who I am as the physical is constant and consistent as the very breath that keeps me alive.

 

I commit myself to live the words I write here and face the consequences that are already here as the outflows of having abdicated all self-responsibility to an automated system of self-abuse that I am still currently existing as within and without. Yet, it is within me that the key exists to become Self-Honest and stop the cycles of abuse for once and for all.

 

I commit myself to ‘validate’ myself as the application of the words I write here – I am the only one that is able to do that for myself in Self Honesty and only accumulate that which is Best for All Life

 

“I commit myself to understand that to bring about a world that is best for life I will have great resistance both from my mind and my body as my body is controlled  at the moment by my mind as well as from other people as minds and controlled bodies, but I will walk as I understand just like in my process, the time will come where the physical reminder of what is real will be so clear and shocking that the mind will stop and the person will hear and come to their senses of the physical world to begin their process to re-align with that which is best for all life.” Bernard Poolman 

 

I see and realize that the only way we can end ‘Capitalism’ is by stopping the delusional current money system that stems from our very own minds as a accepted praise to that which is ‘superior’ which can only exist through abuse.

The world is in reverse, people – we’ve got a lot of work ahead here, and we will walk this until  it is done.

 

Join us at Desteni

Check out the Forum for further support to walk out of our minds and into the physical.

 

 

 

Educate yourself about the Money System and read the support necessary to start considering beyond our Eyes and dare to live as physical beings that realize that breathing must be easy for all if we all support an Equal Money System that ensures a dignified living for all beings in this reality.

 

Blogs:

DAY 1: Who I Am as Money
DAY 2: Who I Am as Money – continued
Day 2: Happiness and Me
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Wording myself to Worth

Breaking through my own religion –that is the ‘Marlen’ religion – was the expansion that I required for the sake of realizing that I didn’t have to be bound to a single idea that I had built of myself around others – once that fear of ‘getting out of my parameters’ is gone, one can simply express and live and BE for the very first fucking time without projecting on to ‘how others are seeing me’

 

This I can link to self-acceptance. I had a hard time trying to fit to that which I knew was considered acceptable by others – therefore I played out the opposite because I knew that the ‘pretty’ was also fake so, became that polarity point which was also image based, pretending to not care yet I did, extensively – and within that I justified myself and considered that I didn’t want to create myself as the perfect picture that others want me to be. See how it was always ‘others see me/ others want me to be’ and within that, I enslaved myself to these ideas of who I am, who I must be, what I must look like for such person to like me – all about being accepted by outside points instead of having ever looked at myself as Self-Acceptance.

 

This is  a point that I walked and faced extensively at the farm. Physically walking through the point of realizing the constant self judgment in relation to my physical body, finally opening up the point to make it inevitably obvious and thus start embracing myself. That’s been like a constant throughout my life and it was also pretty much based on the pictures we see in our world, how we basically get bombarded to be a certain way to be ‘the coolest looking people on Earth’ – within this, because of belittling myself, not being ‘good enough’ and even considering my design to be extremely fucked up, I allowed myself to simply seek for acceptance from another within relationships and within that, basically enslaving myself to that point of acceptance outside of myself. I couldn’t bare the idea of being left out of the game, I got to see how I’d be petrified by these ideas – this is the ‘true nature’ an obsessive,  possessive being that could not stand on her own two feet without being defined by another in a relationship of any kind.

 

The point of self acceptance came in various ways and I realized that I could not possibly be ‘supporting myself’ for real if I didn’t have this point in place. Within this, I got great support from resonances to see how I hadn’t allowed myself to recognize and worth myself by what I’ve actually been and done and accepting that self-respect that is actually able to be embraced once we stop wanting to be this ‘ideal’ that we have of ourselves, once we stop ourselves from merely seeking recognition and validation from outside sources and start accepting ourselves for ourselves. Only minds require external validation to continue existing – this is how we go through that withdrawal of getting that constant ego-feed by others to validate our existence which is how we get to be literally addicted to each other, just because we haven’t allowed ourselves to be with ourselves, to accept and care for ourselves alone.

 

Once this point of accepting ourselves is in place, then standing with another or not becomes more of an extra point of support than a constant need, yearning, desire or requirement. The first relationship must be with ourselves – I’ve certainly experienced that ability to stand alone and it’s been quite cool yet, also have to realize that no man’s an island and we cannot remain in our comfort zone alone.

 

So the starting point for any relationship won’t be that of wanting or seeking validation, but actually supporting myself to walk with another in facing the points that are still existent within me yet not seeing them because of not having such buttons being pushed – I breathe and realize that I may still be reluctant to this point though, as long as I hold on to an ideal, I’ll never be satisfied with myself – so self acceptance is the first point to then stand one and equal as ourselves first, like integrating ourselves back to ourselves which is something that no one will do for ourselves, we’ve got to actually for the very first time start appreciating and caring ourselves for ourselves – only then can we see what we’ve missed all this time by going looking for validation and recognition outside of ourselves and within that, simply getting locked into relationships wherein only validation and worth is sought through another without ever realizing it was me first accepting and caring for myself for what I am because this is who we are, this is who we walk as in this world.

 

Self Acceptance didn’t come overnight and still any other day that the point comes up or I’m confronted with it, I have to continue applying myself, bringing myself back here to common sense and not go into the back-past usual patterns of wanting recognition, seeking validation from others because I hadn’t allowed myself to accept myself in the first place.

 

It’s very cool to see how this is a process that I’ve walked and that I’m certainly stable within, it comes up at times of course but I am able to redirect myself and not allow myself to go into it that much re-creating the past experiences of ‘longing’ for another mind system to value me – I’m here and I’m the only one that can fully care for myself hence the importance of establishing ourselves as our starting point, of doing it all for ourselves – the moment we do it for something/ someone separate from ourselves we’ll eventually have to face the point and let go of it because it’s not real anyways.

 

What’s real is here as ourselves, as the truth of ourselves and within that, there is no way we can depend on anything to validate our existence – we simply have to realize ourselves as what’s here and thus first begin by supporting ourselves and from there, we can only continue working through the rest of the points in this reality –See, I realize that this is not a cool world we’re living in, nor am I trying to be optimistic about it – yet, we’re not going anyway and what I’ve realized is we can’t simply continue existing in such self hatred, self-rejection and self sabotage that only contributes to the current fuckedupness in this world. Like I would be very depressed about this world before yet never realized that by me being the embodiment of that as myself I was actually contributing to such mind-state that’s so common in the world.

 

When I allowed myself to stop participating in it, I saw how it’s much cooler to start actually exploring our expression, to let go of our patterns and get to live – to be with others as an expansion of ourselves, not wanting or needing or requiring anything, but simply expressing and sharing within walking a process of realizing: we are here as Equals and we can actually get to accept and care for ourselves if we actually allow us to do so.

 

Misery loves company – so I no longer seek such type of company – I can only be grateful with myself and anyone that has allowed me to see that I require to be my starting point, that I’ve gotta do this for myself because no one else will, that I have to create this care that I never even considered I didn’t have towards myself – we’ve missed ourselves our entire lives, we’ve missed that ability to live and so we’re here because we have a chance, we simply have to do it, to actually stop acting from the program and get ourselves moving.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to belittle myself, for believing that I’m not ‘good enough’, that I’m not ‘worthy’ enough and within this I realize that I can only worth myself as life according to that which I practically live and apply as myself to actually stand as that life-worth that I am as what’s here as that which I’ve tampered though thoughts of belittling and self-deprecation.

I accept and care for myself as the realization of who I am as life

 I see and realize that there is no other ‘value’ that I can give to myself but I can only worth myself as life through practically living a life that is  worth-while living in, that which I can see is best for myself and best for all as Equals as I realize how we’ve enslaved each other within seeking for validation, recognition within the ideas of ourselves instead of simply accepting ourselves as equals to then start exploring what self expression can be.

I work and walk through the past as the patterns I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exist as yet I make sure I stop defining myself as them because I see and realize that they only stood for the limitation that I believed myself to be.

I no longer require to be validated by anyone as I realize that I can only exist as life, as the worth that we’re all one and equal as – I no longer allow myself to compare or think of myself as ‘inherently flawed’ but instead work through strengthening my resolve to stand and stop the recurring patterns as I continue walking breathing, facing myself and making sure I don’t become the engine that runs the self-deprecation pattern ever again.

This is an ongoing process, and here we walk.


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