Tag Archives: writing self to freedom


This word has come up twice in different contexts and for one part I got to correct the fact that it’s not a verb in English but an adjective, so a quality of being instead of the action of being adequate.

See the origin of this word:

Latin adaequat-, adaequare ‘make equal to’, from ad- ‘to’ + aequus ‘equal’.

It’s weird that it’s not a verb, but we’ll stick then to our verb ‘equalize’ which is a more direct way of saying the same thing. In spanish it is a verb,  so it’s cool to know that ‘adecuar’ comes from ‘make equal to’ as it is adding (or it’s opposite subtracting in some cases) that which will create equality.

Whenever we get to ‘feel inadequate’ what are we in fact saying? I am Not Equal, I am accepting and allowing myself to perceive myself as being ‘flawed’ wherein a ‘flaw’ can only exist in separation of who I am as Equality as Life, it can only exist as a self-created belief of who I am in the mind to remain as that point of limitation. It’s fucked up when it even becomes ‘our c®ap’, as ‘our thing’, ‘our flaw’ in some kind of reversed pride for it as if such point of separation was something that we could use as a justification to not take self responsibility or in some cases also victimize ourselves as not being able to transcend our own limits.

The experience of ‘feeling inadequate’ is then taken on through various forms of self abuse, separation and belittlement as not being capable to do something, having something inherently ‘wrong’ and the only thing that can possibly exist as such is knowledge and information that we’ve layered upon ourselves as  ourselves wherein we end up losing the sense of physicality, getting ourselves lost in our own creation while in fact we’re just equally Here.

That’s what we’re here to stop as we realize we have created this merry-go-round of beliefs that keep us circling in the same spot, and instead we can get out of the maze by writing ourselves, by seeing in specificity how I’ve created myself within and as this, how I have built my own caps and flaws at the level of an idea that I then live out believing is ‘who I am’. For that Self Forgiveness is the tool and it’s the way we take Self Responsibility for our creation.


What I’ve seen is that it almost becomes an automated way of ‘excusing ourselves’ within any situation, like ‘oh no I’m not good enough for that’, ‘I cannot possibly conceive myself being that’ or ‘I’ve always had this fucked up way of being’ – or ‘I’ve never been good at this or that’. These and many other similar statements are self limitations that we can certainly direct ourselves to correct and walk through in Equality, within realizing that if someone else can do it, we can stand one and equal to that as part of a learning process, an application process wherein we walk first writing out our limitations, then we forgive ourselves to acknowledge our creation and then we’re ready to walk through the necessary corrective application in the real world.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe myself to be inadequate for taking particular tasks in this world wherein I had perceived myself as having a ‘weakness’ to express myself and in that realizing that I simply can direct myself to create of such apparent ‘weakness’ a point to practically work upon to equalize myself to. In this being and accepting myself as adequate to perform a particular task in my world once that I’ve let go of such self created limitation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe or perceive that I was ‘inherently flawed’ and inept to perform such task because of having accepted a single belief of me as ‘not being good enough’/ ‘not being good at it’, creating myself according to these beliefs wherein I didn’t see and realize that I am the creator of all my limitations.

Self responsibility for our inherently flawed belief systems is such a cool thing to do as we have many ‘duh!’ moments when realizing ‘I actually did this to myself so I can actually create the solution as well!’ or ‘Why is it that I never even tried it before?’  – and the ultimate ‘Why is it that I’ve been hearing to the voice in my head at all?’

This way whenever we ‘feel’ we have to create a remark about our limitations, we’ll be able to Spot-it-out and Stop us from expressing it as ‘who we are’ in the moment and in that, walk through any self created limitation to then input the correction as saying ‘I am here directing myself to do that as I realize I can stand one and equal to that which I had perceived I couldn’t do before’ – or ‘I direct myself to embrace this aspect/part of myself which I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to be and become one and equal to due to the accepted ideas of being ‘flawed’ as a self-belief that I had held as ‘who I am’.


From here we’ve opened the window of opportunity for us to physically walk through the correction and dare to see what’s ‘on our plate’ as we’ve opened up the possibility of self-creation: be/become that which you see is best for all, that which will enable you to be adequate as Life, as the reality that I am here wherein I become aware that I create my own limitations, that I can stop them and that I am equally capable of walking a process of learning, applying and living the correction as myself.

Within that I stop ‘banning’ myself from my expression or limiting my own ability to stand equal to and one with anyone else whom I’ve perceived as separate from me, yet seen as something I’d like to get to be like because of the qualities they represent which I see are cool and can benefit all. This is also how equalizing ourselves will lead to self perfection, as we can stand equal and one to everything that we see is effective, is best for all and functions within common sense.


We have to also look at how it is that Money has  determined our experience in this world wherein such inability to stand equal to something has been part of the restrictions that we’ve created within this current system. Thus creating adequate conditions for all will enable us to have no excuse left for self limitation, and will only have to work with that which we have to sort out within ourselves as all of the beliefs and ideas explained above. That way we create an adequate world within and without to get over our invisible fears and flaws and stick to the physical reality.

Self support in this is very cool and we can all do that through sharing our writings and giving feedback that will allow us to see that which we probably haven’t seen for ourselves before, this is what the Desteni Forum is for.



The End is No Quick-Fix

Part of the reasons why I got to Desteni was because I had been driven by a desire to know of the occult, the prophecies and obviously the infamous 2012 of which I created a great belief and would even dare to claim it was a ‘certainty’ that the world would end by 2012 – lol this I’d speak vehemently about in school, high school to be precise and in English class.

So, this drive for spirituality, seeking for truths and the entire 2012 myth were the points that got me to Desteni. The single idea of ‘ending it all’ was something I had thought about from an early age – seeing ‘no other way out’ to this reality other than ‘destroying it all’/ ‘giving an end to this world’.

Well, it turns out that: there is No Quick-Fix such as ending the world and just having it all be ‘washed away’ – that’s also ‘hoping’ and not actually realizing that it is only through our own limitations that we’d like to ‘cease to exist’ without having even Lived For Real – now I see it sounds ludicrous because yes in a way what must end is our lives as preprogrammed systems yet instead of just having it all be destroyed, we’ve got to now direct ourselves to Live and create solutions for this world wherein all living beings can coexist.

So, here I am exposing how it is that within the depths of myself I’d still be hoping that there would be a quick fix such as life on Earth just suddenly ending. When looking at the reasons why I’d want this it becomes obvious that wanting to avoid the responsibility of cleaning up the mess comes up, avoiding having to walk in actual time-space this entire lifetime and others to co-create proper living conditions on Earth. In terms of facing myself it would also become easier not having to continue ‘overcoming myself’ as a human being.

This post was mostly triggered by reading the following post at the forum http://desteni.co.za/intro-forum/viewtopic.php?f=24&p=5188#p5188by Sunette upon an article placed there talking about the cataclysms and all the ‘signs of the times’ about the end of the world:

“This, is the delusion of ‘believing in hope’ – that, human-beings will ‘miraculously’ transition into ‘higher planes of existence’ from the manifested-consequence as accepted and allowed abuse we’ve done-onto ourselves, each-other the physical as earth, the animal-kingdom.
No – there is and will be No Mercy – we’ll either destroy ourselves together, equal and one with the mess of ourselves and the world, or we’ll practically stand-up, take self-responsibility, stop and change through actual physical-living. The ‘window of opportunity’ for each one is BREATH, HERE in every moment – to change self, to change the world. Participate in the Forums of pushing self to see beyond the delusions/veils of the mind – have the guts to face the REALITY of the situation.
We’re not going to ‘transition’ out of this fuck-up – we’re going to have to face it directly in the physical and change ourselves as it; as this is the creation we have in fact become as ourselves and so the ‘only way out’ – is changing it as ourselves; through practical-directive living.
Prepare yourself – get the tools; live the tools – change self to become a living example of the dignity, integrity and respect we’re capable and able of living towards ourselves, others and the earth – changing self, to change the world.”

This is such a cool message which leaves no window open for opportunists to take a hold of ‘wishing and hoping’ that some alien invasion will come to earth or that some meteorite will hit the Earth killing everyone, or all prophecies coming true and the world ending next year – lol.

Anyways the point is very clear: We’ve got to kill all hope, to stop all delusions possible and to actually have the guts to face the totality of ourselves here – there is no way out. This is probably the message that struck me the most when encountering Desteni and the reason how I got myself writing and applying Self Forgiveness and actually taking self responsibility because I saw how it was in fact so that it would be yet another ‘miracle’ if this world could just end like that – it doesn’t matter if it’s ‘possible’ or not – what matter is that I make sure I don’t leave any possible back doors as a lingering thought of wanting to destroy everything, wanting the world to end as that would mean the party is over and there is no mess left. No.

We are the current mess in this world, we’ve created it so: we take responsibility for it. This is what makes the entire Desteni message so unappealing because part of our infamous human nature is to glide away whenever self-responsibility is required, whenever actual self-confrontation is existent, whenever the truth of what we’ve become starts pouring out through our pores.

While I was at the farm I got to talk to AA and I learned very cool points from her as she’s walked the entire point of ‘wanting to destroy it all’ wherein I realized that we simply have to breathe and walk through that point every time it comes up, it’s not just something that is ‘forever gone’ – it requires constant direction as self to not give into such patterns of wanting to give-up, being ‘fed up with this world’, ‘seeing no solution’, ‘seeing no point in continuing’ – that’s also a point I keep quite present as something I learned at the farm through another’s experience: be the point of your existence whenever you see ‘no point’. This means that we often miss ourselves within it all, we take ourselves for a ride through an overwhelmingness of thoughts, emotions, feelings which is ourselves existing as an experience instead of stopping, focusing here on breath and realizing that the only way to become so ‘uncomfortable’ in our own skin is through all the mind-processes behind such experience/ as the experience itself.

The physical is just here, the physical doesn’t really go wandering about ‘the end of the world’ or ‘self-destructing’ – nope. This single point shows/reveals to what extent we’re all possessed whenever we flirt with such thoughts in our heads.

So – living in a society wherein a large percentage of the population goes day by day living under the effect of a drug to ‘make it till the next day’ implies how there is quite a lot to realize in terms of how we function as the mind, how we are not all those experiences that we create within the mind and thus how it is that if we are really willing to be the change in the world, we require to first straight up our conception of the world and ourselves in it.

Seeing reality for what it is might not be the greatest thing, yet it is within daring to see that one actually opens eyes to that which we’ve missed for such a long time, getting ourselves to the current detrimental position we are as humanity, affecting all life around us.


It would only be an act of cowardice wanting to end it all – let’s not even go into the self-righteous act of ‘ending you life’ here – yet we’re still waging wars against each other as individuals and nations/ races. – yet we’re still living under the effects of drugs, alcohol, excess or lack of food and any other physical abuse that we could drive ourselves to endure for the sake of being +1 to the demonstration that we’ve got to change our ways as humanity or we’ll inevitably then self-destruct which is then NOT about ‘the world coming to an end’ but ourselves simply walking and facing the manifested consequences of what we’ve allowed to be created by our own hand.

This is where and how Self Forgiveness becomes the greatest gift we can give ourselves, even if at some point we could think ‘we don’t deserve it’ – how else would we give ourselves this second chance if it’s not through our own recognition of us being capable of actually directing all our self-destructive effort into a constructive one?  ‘Not deserving it’ would be only the consideration of ego and not of redeeming all life that we’ve harmed and enslaved in this world.

There will be no aliens, no masters, no blue beams, no prophecies, no second comings other than Equality in this world that can be created and placed by each human being that realizes and understands this is the only way to go if we are willing to actually see that we’ve been limiting ourselves by our own beliefs – mostly linked to money/ the entire current monetary system –  so in essence we’ve got to wake up from our self-created nightmare and start working with what’s HERE as who we are – equal and one. We haven’t yet LIVED and we haven’t yet even pulled-out our fullest potential so, there’s a long way to go yet at last we’ve got a certain outcome – Life in Equality within the context of it all being Best for All.

The more that join in this process, the merrier. Give yourself the chance.

“We can if we dare actually realize that there is that which we can live within space time within a construct of what’s best for all that will have astounding experiences of overwhelming excellence, maybe one should consider that as well” Bernard Poolman

Quote taken from the recording that is suggested to hear:

Too-much-ness — Others call it Overwhelmingness

Thanks for reading and Being Here

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