Tag Archives: writing yourself to freedom

421. Art is in the Eye of the Beholder

 

I took this great blog title from Leila Zamora Moreno who gave it as a name for her son’s Cesar first masterpiece which I am going to share here because it’s his first year alive on Earth today!

We got a Pollock coming, people!

Cesar's Masterpiece 1 Year

 

So, I watched a documentary on Marina Abramovic’s work called Marina Abramović: The Artist is Present and noticed how through watching it, I was constantly seeking for some kind of ‘meaningful’ thing to come through, something that could match my idea of ‘art.’ Through writing the self forgiveness I’m about to share, I realize that I had become this constant judge toward anything I’ve defined as ‘art’ and within doing so measuring/gauging it and see if it does match my idea of art as something that can ‘change the world’ and if not, usually I would follow through to judge it as pointless, useless, a waste of time, etc. In fact I had written out a blog about the documentary, but obviously noticed it was filled with righteous comments so as to impose ‘my perspective’ which then of course was a cool thing to do or else I would have remained within the idea/belief that ‘I was right in my assessment’ lol.

I also reacted when seeing people organizing performances and/or artistic creations around an ongoing situation here in Mexico about students having been disappeared/most likely killed due to a political point of convenience for a governor in one state here and then judging this as ‘pointless’ and ‘meaningless’ and then rehashing the judgment of ‘how come I can despise this ‘art world’ so much now and I once was so eager to be a part of it, where was I?’ – so here I go straight to Self Forgiveness.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to say to myself, how was I ever involved in this art/cultural realm and come to despise it so much at the same time? Which is only showing the usual love-hate relationship wherein of course any ‘negative’ experience is in fact denoting I still hold a relationship toward art, and as such, it’s all about ME in fact and not at all about art/artists or the art world at all – this is then the point of self-responsibility to expand upon here.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience remorse and embarrassment for having ever aimed at achieving an artistic career as I followed my desire to experience something ‘special’ through art and aim at ‘changing the world’ with it, which simply means that I was entirely driven by my own emotional and feeling experience and that this clouded my ability to see reality for what it is and genuinely question whether a ‘work of art’ has in fact ever changed people’s lives to the extent that I thought it would.

In this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge art as something frivolous or useless, wherein by defining it in such way I am then creating a negative relationship to it, but still a relationship nonetheless, so this is about me taking responsibility to ensure I no longer impose any ideas, beliefs, perceptions and reactions toward ‘art’ itself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create yet again an experience of disdain toward people that are using art as a way to demonstrate the corruption and deaths of people here in Mexico, wherein now artists are gathering to create portraits of students that have been – most likely – sent to be killed by a high authority in one of the states here in Mexico, and so reacting with the experience of ‘this is utter bullshit’ and so having the desire to just curse at the people that believe that in any way doing a portrait or performance of and for the people that have disappeared will change their family’s grief or would in any way ‘solve the problem.’

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that this ‘disdain’ is simply a tantrum like experience that comes after one had created certain ideals and expectations upon something, which is why one has such a ‘stance’ toward – in this case – art, instead of realizing that ‘art’ in itself in this case is not aiming at creating a tangible, physical solution, but simply a remembrance that some people might find supportive and that’s up to each person and how they react/interact with such artistic expressions – therefore

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become hypercritical to anything that has to do with art and aiming at bashing it constantly or whenever I can, which only demonstrates my own judgments and ‘false expectations’ created and imposed toward art, wherein I was trying to make of art an actual ‘tool to change the world’ but I realize that ‘art’ in itself as a manifestation and expression cannot do that at all – self change is and will always be here as ourselves, it is about who we are in our mind and in our actions, which in turn will define our creations as well.

 

I realize that in this, of course I’m missing out the actual self-forgiveness that extends beyond ‘myself’ only but as a human being that has lived in a world where pictures, emotions, experiences are the actual ‘drivers’ and/or ‘fuel’ of our reality, wherein the society of spectacle also involves creating this kind of ‘motives’ and ‘remembrances’ using art as a way to ‘heal the wounds’ or else, without realizing that in essence, art only works at a mind level and as such, it creates no solution to real-reality problems and in this

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge art for not being what I expected it to be, instead of realizing that it’s only me that tried to make it’ more’ than what it in fact is – in this

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to constantly try and fit ‘art’ into the category of a human creation that will in some way ‘change the world’ or ‘change people’s consciousness’ wherein in my desire to ‘fit’ art into this ideal, I’ve actually created such an unnecessary conflict within me, because I see that it is just impossible to do so, because nothing, no object, no image can ‘change you’ but only oneself in actually understanding why changing is necessary and how one can practically do it – in this:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get so infatuated with the idea of ‘change’ being able to exist within art, which you know in terms of the large scope of what art is, this idea of ‘change’ is already a limitation, a definition that is coming strictly from who I am and what I am walking in my life, which is very much aligned with ‘changing myself ‘ – thus, I have to stop trying to fit the world, fit people’s idea of art into my own.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be gullible and somewhat stubborn in trying to fit ‘my idea’ of art into everyone else’s artistic creation, which then of course leads me to only criticize, judge it, see it as ‘not good enough’ or ‘pointless’ or plain ‘bullshit’ without realizing that I’m judging it from my own point of view that aimed to make of art ‘something life changing and revolutionary.’ Therefore, I realize that I have to STOP trying to impose my own ideas of what art was supposed to be as a catalyst or a way to change people’s minds/lives and instead of trying to measure ‘all art’ against my own idea/belief and perception of what ‘art should be, I have to rather use all judgments as a way to continue checking what exists within me as an expectative or assumption around art, as this is then how I can use art or anything else as a mirror to continue seeing where I am creating experiences and separation from what is here.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play out the love and hate relationship toward art, which only signifies one thing: there are still remnants of self-definition within me according to ‘being an artist’ or wanting to stick to that profession as ‘what I studied’ or ‘who I was,’ because in a way I still wanted to try and ‘save the profession’ as ‘my choice’ and having done so in absolute clarity and conviction within myself; and so this was my attempt of trying to justify my decision thinking that I wasn’t so ‘out there’ or detached from reality when I chose to study this – but, at the moment I can see that I was in fact not really ‘grounded’ on Earth 10 years ago when I made such decision and that somehow I am still beating myself for it, which is not necessary – therefore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for having chosen what I now judge as some self-conceited and self-importance and absolutely self-indulgent profession as ‘art’ which in this is in fact only judging and ‘dissing’ that which didn’t ‘turn out to be what I expected’ and so, I realize that I have gone back and forth within this experience in the past of the ‘love and hate relationship toward art,’ but the problem is that I still tried to ‘suit my idea’ of what art should be in everything that I continue to see/watch and consume as ‘art,’ instead of realizing that I have to absolutely let go of the idea that I once held about art, let go unconditionally of my past choices in life, of my past ‘mindset’ and as such, stop any judgments around this point within me.

I commit myself to see art for what it is: a series of visual or experiential-based objects or images or actions wherein one is challenged to see reality with another pair of eyes and get to see reality from each person’s mindframe and perspective – thus to take it ‘for what it is’ as an individual or collective expression, instead of continually trying to see ‘where or how is this in any way changing the world?’ which is My idea of what art should be and the reason why this conflict still would emerge within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge ‘the past me’ as vain and superfluous for having chosen such a career and now in one way or another wanting to throw shit at it, which is not really acceptable at all, because art as any other action and creation that we do in this world, is part of what we also have to take responsibility for. Thus my way to contribute to it, is not to ‘bash’ something because it did not ‘fulfill’ my expectations upon it, but rather take the words that I had once associated with art / being an artist and live them myself in the way that I see is supportive and best for all.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to having said this morning ‘where the hell was I when I decided to study art?’ and say so with a sense of regret and disdain toward me and so toward everything and everyone involved in such practice, instead of realizing that if I did this same kind of reproachment for everything else that I see we have done ‘wrong’ in our lives, I would live in constant reproachment which is obviously not necessary at all as in that, we only trap ourselves in guilt and remorse, instead of focusing on what is required to be changed HERE.  

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that what’s hiding behind this is me not wanting to admit that it was my own starting point toward art that defined my now judgment toward ‘art’ which is not about ‘art’ but about me and how I was in fact living and acting in a self-absorbed manner and was seeking for the kind of things like fame, fortune, all the money and the ‘good life’ as well as bashing the system while earning good money, lol – so I realize that I have to simply admit to myself the kind of decisions that I made in the past, the reasons behind it and that there is no way that I can ‘turn back time and change my decisions and career choice’ because I do realize that the decisions I made in my past were absolutely ‘congruent’ to my mind-frame, my interests, my aspirations in the past and within this, I have to absolutely let go of me trying to ‘make sense’ of my initial ambitions and desires in life so as to justify them, and try and see them with a ‘good light’ so to speak, which is not really necessary to now super impose some ‘goodness’ to it, because that would simply imply that I am still judging my past life and decisions as something ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’ or ‘self-interested,’ which is not really necessary once that I realize I have simply moved on from that phase in my life and my interests and aim in life have veered substantially from how I used to think 10 years ago, which I am of course grateful to myself for as well and for all the past moments that led to this realization.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my dissatisfaction with my past choices upon every other artwork or artist I see and get to know of by judging their work and activity in all possible ways wherein I diminish it to being ‘pointless’ and ‘useless’ and taking this as a ‘fact,’ without realizing that all of these were only self-judgments that I have created around ‘art’ based on my own judgments toward myself and my past.

Therefore I commit myself to stop wanting to impose my idea of what ‘art should be’ upon others’ creations and simply redefine the word for myself to live as the actual creator of my life within the principles that I have established for myself of self-responsibility, self-introspection, self-forgiveness and self-correction as I see that this is what I have realized is the genuine way to do what I always aimed doing through art, which is changing myself and so with that, changing the world – therefore I hereby let go of the desire to ‘change the world’ through art  or attempt to make of art that ‘one point that changes the world’ which is also not ‘the point’ here.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to as a human being desire to do something ‘more than myself’ through objects, experiences, artifacts outside of myself and now judging art for what I believe or assume ‘artists’ are aiming to do, which is another judgment coming from what I used to do with art itself, instead of realizing that art can be used as a bridge for self-investigation, yet it is not ‘the change’ in itself at a massive level that I wished it to be at some point, as I realize that self-change and self-realization cannot in any way be something done through only one action, one object, one image and have an effect ‘en masse’ – there are no magic tricks on this.

 

I commit myself to stop judging art, artists, art collectors, art supporters and everyone that enjoys art and instead see ‘art’ within the realm of any other human activity that we do at the moment which means that everything we are and do is yet to be walked through a process of self-realization and self-correction, which means there cannot be something that is genuinely ‘supportive’ if there is no foundation to understand such support or what would be supportive to ‘change oneself’ or ‘change the world’  – thus I am the one that has to stop seeing art through the eyes of ‘practical change’ and/or ‘practical relevance for self-change’ wherein I then create a righteousness to create ‘negative’ judgments toward it, which is once again falling in the judgmental trap that leads nowhere and in fact then I would support the continuation of separation, reactions, judgments and division in the world.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that because I studied art, I have ‘an authority’ to bash it which is really only playing the same critique conundrum that I have also criticized in the past, instead of seeing art or anything else as just expressions that each one of us will have to take self-responsibility for, for the intent, the purpose and the experience within which it was created – thus, I am no one to judge anyone or anything for what it is, I can only reflect myself upon the world and thus take responsibility for my judgments, my experiences, my expressions ‘toward others’ and always realize it has nothing to do with art per se, with artists or with the artworks themselves, but with myself.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still have wanted to control ‘my vision’ about art and so be able to ‘measure all other art’ according to what I had defined as ‘art,’ not realizing that this definition of ‘art’ is not even certain for people in art creation themselves. So, this is once again a point to show how when trying to ‘fit in’ one’s definition upon something/someone, because  each definition is created in one’s mind, it will always be a source of conflict to try and define something that in its nature is not meant to even be ‘defined’ as such, thus I see that my point of control was coming also from self-interest and still wanting to somehow remain with the dignity of having studied something ‘meaningful’ or ‘more than’ any other career, which would then lead me to play a value game that is once again of the mind and of consciousness definitions.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still go and see art in the hope that I will find something that is ‘life changing’ which is why every time I obviously come out without ‘anything’ or ‘nothing learned’ because I am seeing it all through the eyes of ‘come on, art exhibit, change me, change my life!’ which is impossible of course, it would be like thinking that praying to the image of a god or a saint will change your life, which is simply a delusion.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for having ever been fascinated with creations because I have now judged this as ‘vain’ instead of realizing that just as anything that we create in this world, we can appreciate it for what it is in its physicality and no longer having the ‘artistic value-frame’ with which I was trying to measure it against, as this is once again trying to control and impose my own perspectives and experiences toward ‘art’ itself upon others’ creations. It would be like trying to define which human being is more ‘beautiful’ than another or which tree is ‘more expressive’ than another – it is really pointless and a waste of breaths to be dwelling upon this kind of questions, because ultimately if there’s something in art is that precisely this whole ‘valuation’ scheme is meant to be broken or questioned at least.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have judged this point as ‘petty’ or ‘non important’ or there being more ‘relevant things to blog about’ but, I realize that due to the actual judgmental view that emerged within me while watching Marina Abramović’s documentary and when getting to know of artists gathering to create something around people that have disappeared through political reasons, it was then a point to of course review and open up within myself so that I can align this one point within me and my day to day living and so stop the judgmental me toward art or artists as a constant source of conflict.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have some ‘right’ to judge something because of having ‘studied’ it, which is essentially a belief learned from how our system operates with licenses and such, without realizing that a judgment will always be a judgment specifically when it’s made in an attempt to debase or ‘debunk’ something as to ‘make it less’ in a way, wherein then my judgment becomes in my mind something ‘superior’ to point out.

 

In this the application is actually to ensure that I can investigate all things and keep what’s best, instead of investigating all things, judge and criticize with an attempt to ‘debase’ something and then place my judgment as ‘superior’ which is obviously a destructive and consequential way of looking at things.

I realize that I can use anything and anyone in my world as a mirror, and in this, whichever I may think, believe and perceive relates to ‘another’ is in fact about myself, because I can only think/judge something about someone  if I have judged myself in the same way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I was in fact desiring to ‘take a position’ or ‘take a side’ in relation to art because of the self-definition I have created within and towards ‘art’ which is how one then creates a sense of ‘righteousness’ as in having ‘one stance’ in relation to it, which is all knowledge and information based, it is not at all considering what is common sensical or looking at what’s supportive within something – but instead, immediately putting on the ‘judgmental glasses’ and ‘finding fault’ eyes going into ‘attack’ mode to point out all the ‘flaws’ but all of these flaws are pointed out within the starting point of me already seeking to ‘debunk’ another, which is quite the usual nasty game that we play when we want to impose our own mind/righteousness, what we believe is ‘right’ above others.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to question the ‘impulse’ that I sometimes have in relation to wanting to talk about something/someone in an attempt to ‘debunk’ them while still holding a judgment with experience in it as to ‘prove it wrong’ – instead of realizing that I can talk about something/someone without having to resort to taking an antagonist stance toward it, but simply be able to reference it, to look at it in common sense and then  focus on reflecting any judgment back to myself, that’s the only way one can really develop self-honesty, and stop only criticizing things for the sake of feeling ‘righteous’ about something or someone and so justify my experience toward something or someone, in this case, my ‘experience’ toward art which shouldn’t exist at all as an experience.

In this it is to realize that any experience that I have toward something/someone, it indicates I have created a relationship to it, and so it becomes a point for me to take self-responsibility for which means: it’s never about ‘art’ itself, it’s about how I see it, who I am toward it and this is then a much more supportive starting point to look at art and visit art galleries, to see ‘what comes up within me,’ instead of visiting and looking at art from the starting point of ‘proving it wrong’ or wanting it to ‘match my ideal’ of art, which is why all this back and forth friction toward it emerged: it’s all an inside job.

 

I realize that ourselves as human beings tend to seek for answers or ‘find ourselves’ ‘out there’ instead of realizing that everything we require is already here, as ourselves. So in this, I commit myself to stop judging anything that we do/use in order to get to this point of self-realization, wherein I see that art can be used as a tool of self-reflection as with anything else in the world and what we create and do within it. This is where I then have to realize that my process and realizations cannot be the same as others’ and so, I have no authority to judge others’ processes, ideas, beliefs and perceptions – this process is about self-responsibility so here I then commit myself to always see art as a cool point of self-reflection wherein I stop all judgments ‘toward’ art or artists themselves, but rather see ‘who am I’ toward it and use that for my own process of self-honesty.

 

I commit myself to integrate the realization that everything that I judge or criticize in a judgmental manner is and only has to do with myself and the relationships I have created toward something/someone in my past, and so I can only look at things/people objectively where I can first identify if there is any reaction, take it back to self wherein I see the origin of such judgment toward it, do a self-reflective analysis on it in order to support me in common sense to immediately realize: I am imposing my past definitions upon this moment here –  and so I then focus on seeing, watching, reading and participating in anything related to art for what it is – no hidden agendas allowed within me.

 

For a review on the documentary:

 

What life can be

 

 

Read people recognizing their self creation abilities in the 7 Year Journey to Life blogs

The Free Desteni I Process Lite course is a first platform of self-support to learn more about ourselves, our mind and understand how we can practically improve our potentials and skills.

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344. Integrity in Equal Money

 

“It is Essential that Human Integrity as Life Equal be Restored as the Fundamental Rule of Law in this World. Call Out Those that protect Inequality, Become Politically Wise – Install a New Government, through Democracy and Re-Educate the Abusers of Life; in the same way they now keep Millions in the Chains of Inequality – ‘till they Repent and Show through their Actions that they Also Care about Life.”
– Bernard Poolman

 

Continuing:

 

 

 

Problem                                                                

“We’ve become dependent on fear as a survival instinct and so actually fear commonsense and integrity as it is experienced/believed to be a ‘weakness’ – you have to live in fear in order to survive as the law in the matrix goes” – Sunette Spies

 

  • The result of our abdication of self responsibility to the laws and mechanisms in which our physical reality visibly operates is expressed in the current organizations and institutions that we have become so ashamed of and continuously complain about, which are the  product of our primordial disregard of ourselves being one and the same organism that is subject to physical laws that enable life to exist. Instead, we created these external entities to become the deposits of our rights that we signed off when agreeing to become part of a system wherein money as our creation meant our ‘indebted access’ to have a dignified living. This means that we lost our integrity the moment that we placed ourselves to be subject to laws that were never equated to guard and ensure a constitution of life in Equality.

 

“You are in this World, because: You Have No Responsibility, No Integrity and because you have Never Cared about Life in the Universe throughout All Time. You are, in a way, in a Prison. A Prison you created for yourself. You’re Not Going to Get out of This one…not here or in the hereafter without facing consequence, taking responsibility for it and changing for oneself and so for all as self.” – Bernard Poolman 

 

  • What we face as our current world system is the product and manifestation of our abdication to Life in Equality. What does this mean? That the same system of oppression, or scarcity, of lies, of corruption, of hierarchical structures and imposition of power to generate fear is in fact the mirror of every single relationship that we formed in self interest, seeking for our individual benefit only in separation of ourselves as one and equal. This means that the imposition of ourselves as our Ego, our Mind, our Personalities, our Preferences, our Opinions, our Thoughts, our Emotions and Feelings, our Desires over the Physical matter is what became and exists now as the violation of our own ‘right to life’ where no Self Respect toward ourselves, toward the life that is here as ourselves and in the various Life Forms exists – instead  we have turned each other and this world into assets for our benefit and indiscriminate consumption. Life after life we have lived throughout generations guarding these interests as laws that we enforced to every single child born into our world without a question.

 

  • We made of our so-called Free Will and Free Choice that individual ‘course of action’ that determined the ability to abuse one another through the acceptance and allowance of self-interest, superiority and personal satisfaction of security and power over the common well being. Every single word that we have used to denigrate or deify something or someone became the symbols of power that we imposed onto ourselves as a sign of our Inability to See what is Real and Live according to it.

    All the suffering, harm and abuse  as the result  disintegration became a reality when  we imposed meanings, values as experiences over matter and made ourselves subject to it, instead of doing the process the other way around: ourselves becoming the direct beneficiaries of every single word thought and lived as a result of an understanding of ourselves as creators of our reality through the values imposed onto matter and experiences at a mind level, disregarding the physical laws and considerations wherein clearly no spec of matter has been regarded as equal, instead it has been always gauged according to the system of values that serves the Human Mind, the Human Nature that became the accepted and allowed behavior of ourselves as species, indoctrinating every individual to integrate the same patterns generation after generation, wherein some symbols became our gods – like money – and some others became the experiences in which we all got ‘lost’ and confused while missing physical reality, and dare it to call it our ‘human nature’ such as our desire to win, our desire to have more than others, our rejoice in emotions or feelings and any other mind activity that is never evident as an integral part of our physicality, because it is only existent at a mind level, as our creation.

 

  • What we regarded as ‘Our Human Nature’ in the form of emotions and feelings became the greatest distractor and consent enter-tamement to not question the laws, the rules, the systems in which we’re living in, but instead merely complied to them as a sign of ‘resignation’ because no one else seemed to be noticing how inherently flawed and wrong the system is, no one dared to question the abuse, the suffering, the poverty, the absolute madness and absurdity of how we bound ourselves to a system of values where money became an abstraction that contains the value of our work to obtain what we require to live – a giving and receiving in separation of an integral equality process, instead we became the embodiments of a an unequal relationship between what dictates in our minds and what our body requires to exist. Therefore it is through our very own laws and belief systems that we enslaved ourselves to what we believed in our minds is real, ignoring physical reality evidence of such facts being true as an inherent part of the matter and the physical.

 

  • Our integrity has been non existent from the moment we give our power away as the breath of life to exist in multiple ‘states of mind’ leading ourselves to feel ‘superior’ or ‘inferior’ to the physicality that we are, which is clearly indicating that we’ve always lived in a continuous separation from the integrity of our physical body that is as constant and consistency as the physicality that is nurtured and reconstituted in every singe breath that we take.

 

  • Our political system, our monetary system, our economy, our social structures denote the exact opposite of this physical relationship of equality and oneness that we could hold as ourselves and toward one another. This is the physical integrity that we have lacked in our words, which became our laws and eventual authorities wherein we created fictional entities to take care after ourselves. We created our kings, our policemen, our judges, our monetary system, our politicians, because they all represent the violation of our individual right to life in Self Responsibility.

 

 

Solution                                                              

Integrity and Standing in Reality is Not Determined by a ‘Piece of Paper.’” – Bernard Poolman
  • Words that stand as the law of our being of Equality and Oneness, lived and applied as a physical consistency of the recognition of who we are as life are the key and way to ensure that we establish our individual an collective Integrity by our individual decision to live according to that which is best for all.

 

  • The process of Self Forgiveness wherein we  take Self Responsibility for the Accepted and Allowed Mind-Nature as thoughts, emotions, feelings  that we have imposed onto ourselves as physical beings is the way to  establish our definitive integrity. This is for us to understand how we created relationships of self diminishment or self aggrandizement in self-interest, causing the tumor as an overgrowth  that indicates the violation of the physical matter of Equality. This Self Forgiveness Process is the key to understand our individual and collective participation in the current outcome we’re living in as our society and world system. This responsibility comes with immediate self-directive solutions that are understood and lived at an individual level to create and establish the Law of our Being in Equality.

 

  • Money as the creation and manifestation of such system of self-abuse will also become the solution; this is within the principle of ‘Like Cures Like’ wherein we are determined to make of money a tool that represents this reintegration of Equality and equalize its function to our physical breathing, which means it will become a guaranteed giving and receiving of the resources we require to live, it is an insurance to maintain our physical integrity where all parts are equally supported, which will translate into an  integral society where relationships are formed in an interdependent manner, existing in a one and equal recognition of our responsibility to live. This implies absolute self directive principles to grant each other the right to live that is not ‘demanded,’ but instead founded and created through our collective ability to honor ourselves and each other as equals.

 

  • Once that money ceases to exist as the driving force within our lives, actual integrity will emerge in our society which will create new forms of entertainment, of relationships, of social interactions that will be based on mutual support and understanding where no ‘hidden interests’ will exist in an attempt to harm or abuse for personal gain. This means that our ability to stop abuse will form part of our ability to construct this integrity as who we are: no abuse, no harm and no disregard will be accepted or allowed to exist.

Rewards                                                  

  • Living Self-Integrity is the foundation of a fear-less society where each one’s words can be measured according to the actions lived that generate the Best Living condition for all.  It is the actual consideration, understanding and regard to guard each one’s well being as our own which will result in a mutual honor that has never before been existent in our society toward each part of ourselves as one and equal. 

 

  • Self Honesty is the principle in which we recognize that our individual well being is founded upon our ability to respond and act in the best interest of all, which creates the relationships of self support, dignity, respect, compassion and consideration to one another once that we live in a world where another is seen as an equal part of ourselves and no longer someone to fear, abuse, extort or compete against.

 

  • The living of our individual Integrity leads to generate the necessary foundation to establish Self Trust within ourselves and toward one another to ensure that no matter where we are, what we say and the decisions we make, we are always acting according to that which is best for all which is the manifestation and living practicality of what Love and Honor should be. This is the key to manifest a heaven on Earth but for that, we have to establish our Self Honesty and Self Forgiveness first – this is the Individual process we’re walking and invite you to participate within the understanding that Education is the first step to understand where, how and why we separated ourselves from life.

 

Education is Available here:

 

Equal Money Capitalism The Future of Integrity

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165. Following Self Interest is In Fact Self Abuse

Continuing from the blogs:

Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements (part 2 on Self Trust and Self Interest within Procrastination)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to tamper my own ability to live absolute self trust by deliberately stopping my absolute dedication to the points of responsibility that I have at hand and within this, waver in my self-trust as the certainty of living a decision that I had proved to myself I am able to live by/ stand as

 

When and as I see myself wavering in my stance in relation to self-trust within the words that I speak, my expression and my living commitments – I stop and I breathe – this is where the point of self honesty must be established in an absolute manner, wherein I realize that taking care of the points that I have to do in fact create a point of self-trust according to my own application which is Not an experience, but an actual physical doing/ directing within the consideration of what is best to do and live, which is doing all that which is required to be done.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘waver’ within my self honesty and within my application as it, waver in self trust wherein such uncertainty and middle-road standing creates an outflow/ consequence of me not standing fully and directively within the consideration of me establishing patterns and habits within my physical process that I’ll be living as within the integration of self-corrective application as the physical, which implies that

When and as I see myself wanting to postpone/ procrastinate/ leave aside a point that is here for me to direct – I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am creating a pattern of physical consistency and continuity as part of my self corrective application, which implies that everything that I do as a regular/ habitual manner becomes part of my physical process of aligning my words, thoughts and deeds to what is best for all. Thus I realize that I must support myself to create habits and patterns of self support at all times, wherein I ensure that that which I am integrating and imprinting as my physical body is in fact habits/ patterns that are self supportive which includes, directing myself in the moment whenever I see that there is a point to direct and give a solution to, which is the point of self support that ensures one does not create further consequence and lag within taking on a task/ project/ job to do, and within this compromise myself and anyone involved in the decision made.

I commit myself to at all times consider that any fleeting moment of self interest to ‘leave things aside,’ imply me giving head to a single thought in my head to not follow through that which is physically here to be done. Therefore, it is to at all times realize and take into consideration the inner and outer process I am walking wherein all the individual points that I decide to live and apply must be in alignment with a process of self-corrective application wherein I ensure that I in fact stop re-creating past patterns of procrastination.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to grow a point to an unbearable pressure due to having feared talking about it/ expressed my own relationship of procrastination toward this particular project wherein the single thought of me having to ‘do it all over again’ and the time frames involved within that, lead me to simply procrastinate it even further, thus it is to realize how the moment that I continue accumulating ‘points’ toward a point of procrastination, I am supporting the separation, the abuse and the lack of self commitment that I have judged in others, which is something that is clearly revealing to myself how It is that one can be actually spiteful and bite the hand that feeds the moment that we don’t live the words of self correction that we had established for ourselves.

When and as I see myself accumulating a point to give direction to, apply, change – I stop and I breathe – I realize that who I am is defined by the actions or inactions I do – therefore if I am here to live a correction it is to stand absolute as the commitment to get things done/ give direction to that which requires to be physically done – and all of this within the consideration that an actually doing implies a commitment that must be physically translated into a moment of me simply doing it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become subject to my exigencies and desires at a mind level to instead of directing me to work on the point, I distract myself with ‘something else told to do,’ which is not in any way part of an actual realization of who we are as the point of ‘following our desires’ and deliberately shoving aside a point of self support..

When and as I see myself seeking for my own point of self-interest as that which makes me ‘feel better’ other than doing the tasks that I required to do, I stop and I breathe. I realize that at an individual level this leads us to remain constricted by our own believed points of ‘self enjoyment’ that are not really standing as a point of expansion and self support but instead represent that very ‘cage’ that I have defined and confined myself into which I believe makes me ‘feel better,’ when in fact the reality is that the more I postpone, the greater the ‘load’ gets.

I commit myself to realize that every moment I postpone, I end up having to THINK about everything I didn’t do, which is how I contribute to my own self abuse within the realization that every time that I think, I consume myself as the physical life that is here and that in fact allows me to do whatever is required to be done, because I see and realize that all the exigencies of the mind will only ever support the mind itself to continue evolving and transforming into an ‘upgraded system’ wherein Life is nowhere to be found, because as long as the mind is supported by me ‘following my thoughts,’ I in fact become The provider as my own physical to continue procrastination which is a point of abdicating responsibility while believing that I am in fact doing something ‘better/ making myself happier’ which is not at all so, as happiness/ feeling good is also an energetic experience where self’s stability as the physical is not existent. 

Thus, this is to really take the point of procrastination beyond the perceived ‘self interest’ that we believe we are in fact following, and realizing how we have in fact only served the mind/ energy wherein instead of supporting ourselves to expand ourselves, we end up limiting and compromising our very own life every time that we believe there are no consequences to one single moment that we push aside one day further that which is required to be done today. This is the process and there is definitely nothing else to do but walk the necessary talk to integrate within our very physical habits the living decision of doing at all times that which is best for all.

 

I commit myself to walk the various dimensions within the procrastinator as a character to ensure that I in fact realize in detail how I created the point and within this ensure that I stop the pattern for once and for all.

A point that I will go into in relation to the Thought dimension is  Satisfaction, which I suggest one read at the forum 

 

Desteni

Desteni I Process

Equal Money System 

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Blogs:

Character Dimensions – IMAGINATION Dimension (Part 1): DAY 165

DAY 165: After Death Communication – Part 14:

Let’s Talk to the Dead

 

Interview: Life is NOT Energy:

“Don’t be conned by the complexity of Self Interest”

 

Interviews:

 

Free Download:


2012 Self Forgiveness: How-To, Why, What, Where, When?

So, I’m watching Desteni videos – I am going one after the other looking for the ‘magic code’ that I can use to essentially deprogram myself now that I’ve understood that we have been preprogrammed Mind Consciousness Systems and we require to do something about it! I definitely don’t want to remain just as another ‘consciousness robot’ that’s not living, but only killing time – What do I have to do? – Where do I find the way out? – What’s the secret?’  these were my thoughts 4 years ago.

Initially I got so freaked out by watching the videos and hearing the words ‘STOP THE MIND’ so many times, that I feared ending up in like a vegetative state. I thought that this process was simply impossible and wondered how on Earth will I go on through my life with ‘No Mind’! I admit here that I was very gullible, that’s probably one of the reasons why I indulged into so much bullshit (spirituality and conspiracy theories) that I researched right before getting to Desteni. With having this ‘background,’  I didn’t take into consideration what was actually meant by ‘stopping the mind,’ and only allowed myself to get into what I now call ‘the whiner experience’ wherein I created a turmoil of thoughts, giving up on myself even before I started. This was due to this process being seemingly  impossible at first glance: ‘too much’, ‘unbearable’, ‘How will I do this?’ – It worried me for a while, lol, all part of the same mind-experience created within myself.

Within this state of enraged-pity, I sent a message to the guys at Desteni explaining my situation, how I was literally ‘losing my mind’ by realizing that I had to stop my mind – and wondered how will I live, what will I be? Etc. The reply that I got from them was, to my surprise, of such simplicity and obviousness that I literally laughed out loud while reading it, as I realized how usual this experience had been throughout my life: it was my mind throwing a tantrum, the mind’s defense mechanism to not have to go through this process = it’s not who I really am as life the one that’s complaining! So, this point became an initial realization: stopping myself from being the whiner. Ever since then I have shared that video with anyone that experiences the same point of it all being seemingly ‘impossible’ to walk through, only to realize that it’s the mind’s survival mechanism kicking-in and literally crying out for help when realizing: we’re about to debunk its kingdom.

Once I got over my initial reactions, I simply continued watching the material.

Self Forgiveness ?

I constantly heard the words Self-Honesty, Self-Forgiveness, Writing, Breathing, Self Corrective Application in the videos, which I inferred was ‘the way to go.’ I began assessing my then ‘values’ and ‘stance’ toward such words.

I was a ‘pro-Honesty’ person within the understanding of what ‘being Honest’ is/means in the system, which could have been like declaring war toward another being or country in a ‘rational and logical’ manner, and be considered as ‘being honest’ by ‘speaking the truth of their intentions’ without ever considering what’s best for all in such words/ decisions. I had considered myself to be a ‘frank person’ within those parameters, not really considered ‘what’s best for all’ in such a honest self-created idea of myself.  So, this is how I began opening eyes to what SELF-Honesty was, which made sense to me in every bit of it.

Writing was something I had been doing at the time – yet definitely using it as a reinforcement of my own personalities wherein poems or lyrics to songs I never sang would come through, lol – in essence, I wrote to form and shape my personality, just like a sculpture that I was busy creating of myself as a nice idea that I could wear. Those writings became the ‘code’ so to speak, wherein I would reassure to myself ‘who I was’ and why I thought in a particular way, why I liked or disliked the world.  I didn’t really write to get me out of my self-created‘hole,’ but rather reinforced it and justified it as ‘a way of living.’ This was all I would write about at that time.

When realizing what the process consisted of, I understood that this had to be developed in order to ‘change the world.’ I had no problem in directing such points into a ‘one and equal’ understanding, but… Self Forgiveness? All types of judgments went on inside me along with the usual questions like: ‘Why do I have to forgive myself?’ ‘Why can’t I just ‘let it go/ stop it?’ – ‘Isn’t that a religious thing?’ – ‘Isn’t there just another way to do this (process) instead of having to write out this format-like sentences to correct myself?’ I was very skeptical and even went to the extent of fearing ‘deprogramming myself,’ fearing getting to a point of having ‘no control’ over myself = essentially fearing becoming a ‘self forgiven drone’ lol, without actually realizing at the time that I was already Not ‘in control’ of myself and that I was a mind-driven being that had never actually lived.

We tend to get overwhelmed by the sole idea of having to forgive ourselves for everything that we’ve lived-as thus far and forgive ourselves as the entire world for that matter. This was only an initial mind-experience that we then fear ‘getting ourselves into,’ because it just seems ‘too much’ and we go into self-pity experiences of ‘I can’t possibly do this’, I went through a breakdown due to having to let go of my ideas of there being a ‘quick fix’ to this reality, or even some type of God existing to which I could ‘connect to’ and get to a ‘greater self-experience.’ This was all part of the mindfuck that was required to be stopped in the first place.

So I said to myself, I can’t go on as I am we’ve got to stop the world and for that we begin with ourselves. At first it seemed really petty to have this as a reason to do so, I still held secret desires on a magic wand doing the job for me wherein I would only have to ‘apply self forgiveness’ as in writing it out and the problem would be solved – later on I found out what it really was all about.

I got my shoes on, let’s walk this!

I went on to the forum just to see what Self Forgiveness was after spending the first weeks just trying to get used to the idea of me applying Self Forgiveness – initially it seemed like a repetitive drone of words wherein I would have to go through every bit of my memories, my ‘life’ and apply Self Forgiveness for it. It seemed extensive, in my mind there was like an immediate ‘No way! That is impossible’ within forming ideas of having to then spend the rest of my days applying Self Forgiveness non-stop, lol. That’s the ‘extremist’ aspect of the personality I continue exploring through writing and stopping within this process.

After reading the very first examples on Self Forgiveness by Jack, I sat on my bed in the afternoon and began reading. I saw myself in the awkward position of reading along those statements aloud for the very first time in my life. . I probably even blushed to myself, even if I was absolutely alone, it was just so ‘not me’ to be forgiving myself considering that I had lived as a self-righteous person that thinks, believes everything I do is ‘word’ and cannot be wrong. The single act of sitting down and reading self forgiveness was an immediate humbling moment, it was already being like a hand grenade blown toward my ego: it was about to be blown up for life.

One of the first points that I walked through self forgiveness was exposing the mind’s limitations and fears and any other emotion/feeling attached to beginning this process in itself. I literally had created this surreal scenario of ‘me walking process’ wherein I saw myself as a zombie passing by ‘regular people’ on the streets and simply having to remain ‘blank’ the whole time. Nope, that was my own misconception that was later on part of my own fears blowing Process out of proportion – laughing at it was a cool way to shed the point off and simply get myself to start writing,  committing myself to myself to life no matter what.

WHAT?

Okay, so… what is this supposed to do now? I’m now free from god? from the female ego? and I’m now Self Honest?” Lol, my first ideas on Self Forgiveness were linked to this being a process wherein I would be doing some type of magic spell by simply stating the words/ writing myself out and having it all ‘cleared up’– let’s say that the entire aspect of having to Live Self Forgiveness wasn’t really understood at that time. So, I decided to apply the point of being unconditional about it, I had nothing to lose.

I proceeded to first start writing a point out to see ‘how it worked’ which was working with the most prominent experiences I had in that moment. I wasn’t even participating that much at the time in the forums, I just focused on setting this foundation for myself, because I knew this was the way to walk the process, to stand up for life and finally stop my mind – I ‘knew’ it, yet it had to be walked and self-realized.

I noticed how at first it all seemed so repetitive – ‘Why can’t I just say ‘I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself’ once and then just name the whole list and ‘get over with it’?’ – I was still looking for the ‘fast and accurate’ way out of it, took some time to grasp what I was actually doing as ‘Forgiving myself’ after applying the usual ‘fake it till you make it’ wherein words don’t seem to mean anything – and in fact, they won’t! Unless you Live them. This was the ‘aha-moment’ that I had to walk and discover for myself through the actual application of it in time.

I must say that the judgment toward the word forgiveness remained even after a while into writing and process. To me it was like a silent-cringe inside me whenever I would hear myself forgiving myself, because of having these concepts of religion and priests and the entire religious-construct along with the word ‘forgiveness.’ It was just plain icky at the beginning.

Key-point here: I hadn’t applied Self Forgiveness for judging the word Self-Forgiveness in itself and clearing out the associations toward it. I had to see how the ‘awkwardness’ was linked to this memory of that one and only time that I ever ‘confessed myself’ to a priest, which remained like a very bitter experience in my life, almost like having to swallow a medicine that leaves a very bad taste in your mouth for a while. The priest spoke the word ‘forgiveness’ and so to me that had just left a stigma toward that word. I never went to confess myself again and in my mind, applying self forgiveness was like confessing my ‘dark deeds’ to myself, which I saw as a cool point in terms of not having to resort to telling my stuff to someone in order to be ‘absolved from my sins.’ Then I realized what a nice trick religion had created in order to be the ‘only ones’ that can endow you with such ‘god-given right to forgive you,’ whereas Self-Forgiveness implied: I can do it myself –  awesome, way to go to debunk faith and beliefs.

I applied self forgiveness on feeling ‘icky’ and weird and judging the word forgiveness and self forgiveness in itself – the whole lot of points that went opening up as I went writing out the sentences around thoughts like ‘why do I have to forgive myself,’ ‘why forgiveness sounds like something priests do to others,’ forgiveness related to god, forgiveness related to me having done something ‘wrong’, forgiveness as in ‘asking someone forgiveness’ and even ideas on this being a humiliating process and embarrassing even for myself alone.

When beginning process I also  noticed how I also wanted to ‘get over with my past shit and move on’ which I did through writing it all out and sharing it as a form of also demonstrating something to someone of my own application – in a way following an ‘ideal’ of clearing myself fro such ‘sins’ as soon as possible. This is not something that was ‘wrong’ or anything. simply I found out in that process how we find our own way to establish ourselves through process in a ‘trial and error’ manner.

In my case it was mostly through writing that I opened up points to apply Self Forgiveness for,  having that ‘freedom to write’ wherein I’d share all the apparent trivial points of my days. I would experience certain blockages while writing out self forgiveness whenever I would jump in my mind into an idea of ‘myself within process’ wherein we believe that we are doing something that will make us ‘better,’ make us ‘more’ in any way – Nope, not at all. I quote a sentence that came through a chat  once“The Self as life has no language or Skill yet.” Realizing the humbleness required to walk this process was quite a cool point within it all,  as it allowed me to stop having to ‘uphold’ a particular idea of myself I had been bound myself for my entire life as living up to the ‘highest standard’ possible at an intellectual level.

I had to let go of this ego-formed around been specific and effective within my application – it is still being stopped whenever it rears its head. I realized that it could only feed yet another ‘ideal’ of myself becoming something/ someone ‘better’ instead of simply realizing that self-honest application here will not enhance any egos, but only reveal/ expose and function as support to direct ourselves into an actual practical physical living realization of who we really are, supporting us to take off the blindfold to see what we all really are.

WHY ?

The simplest reason I can name of why I came to apply Self Forgiveness was to simply get to actually Live. I understood we can’t possibly go on as we have in this world,  we have to stop what we’ve accepted and allowed within ourselves and actually get to the realization that it is in fact possible to create a new world if each individual that is willing to stand up for life, dedicates themselves to themselves, to live a process wherein Life is considered in all aspects as one and equal – always.

I wanted to stop being the same self-deprecating system with all these habits and obsessions and desires to know and obtain any form of ‘truth’ to create a ‘meaning to life.’ When I heard that Self Forgiveness was the way to first of all STOP all of those delusions to then live, I realized that I had to ‘test this out for myself’, I couldn’t just continue watching the material and absorbing all the knowledge and information for the delight of my own witty-ego satisfaction, no.

I initially went ‘full-on’ applying Self Forgiveness and had a heavy-duty time with it with writing out a lot. I was still having this ‘urge’ to get something done, to ‘get it done’ and be finally ‘here’ with “no-mind” and being finally free, I was still applying Self Forgiveness from that starting point of achieving something, not really realizing what I was doing was part of the process of first getting to establish Self Honesty within myself.

I realized how this process is not about ‘bettering ourselves’ or ‘personal growth’ but simply the realization of what we are actually able and capable of living-as, directing ourselves toward our optimum-state and living in our fullest potential. This all made sense to me as the way this world and reality ‘should have always been’ – I saw how the point that was in between us from realizing our actual ability to stop and correct ourselves had only been ourselves as the mind. We are the only ones standing on our way– this is paraphrasing Bernard. All the ‘lostness’ thoughts began to diminish, because I saw that I had only ‘gotten lost’ according to the thoughts that I had given space and many breaths away to exist as ‘who I am,’ I then realized to what extent this had been my own creation and how I had to take self responsibility for it.

I suggest reading the blog ‘How I was able to Hear Desteni’ for further details about these first days of encountering it. Even though it all sounded extremely weird to me, I decided to ‘give it a try’ simply because I had already gone through other processes in trying to ‘make myself feel better’ which had not really been effective or with ‘long lasting effects’ just like the temporary bridge they were. I decided to apply Self Forgiveness in part also to see ‘what it was all about’ and not allow me to only formulate ideas/ beliefs about it without testing it for myself.

HOW ?

The initial experience within applying Self Forgiveness was fueled  with regret, shame and guilt when realizing what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to exist-as in this world, and how we had – within such possession-  created a world of hatred and separation. Myself being the +1 point that supported such depression,  anxiety, walking with this constant judgmental view on the world  that I allowed myself to be and become.  I walked through my reality seeking for experiences, people, drugs or anything that could allow me to ‘grasp’ this reality, to not feel ‘lost’ and apparently gaining some type of ‘higher status’ to be special, to at least ‘know’ any form of ‘truth’ within this reality that would make me feel like there was a ‘point’ in this existence –  though I could only continue seeing  that nothing made sense.

This is almost a ‘normal thing’ to go-through when realizing all the moments that we’ve spent in our little bubbles secluded from the rest of the world. Thus I initially rushed in means of ‘clearing my name/image’ as soon as possible. I had the idea that it was all about writing the self forgiveness out in one go, and then being ‘clear/ absolved’ of it forevermore. No, that was only my ego once again wanting to ‘shove it all away’ as fast as I could to regain a certain ‘peace of mind’ and be done with it –  it was just another attempt to regain the experience of ‘everything is fine,’ without really grasping how this was a process to be lived for a lifetime.

Self Forgiveness can only support us in identifying the points that we have to correct ourselves,  yet as we know, this takes the actual physical integration of that which I vow to stand for, Self as the starting point in all ways = walking the talk.

It was through the support through forums, Bernard, Sunette and everyone else participating at Desteni that I realized that Desteni was no quick fix, that it would take the actual living-application of it, that I had to actually walk-it, live-it, fall and rise again, make mistakes as many as I had to in order to get to know which road Not to follow – I realized that I actually required to DO THIS, that this was no prayer or magic wand wherein I could just simply spell nice words and pretend all is well – no.

I also had to see how I had never ever done this as it’s not a preprogrammed thing to do. I realized that it wouldn’t come as a single easy decision wherein you chose from one color to another, but that it would take an actual self-commitment and self-will to prove if what was being shared with regards to Self Forgiveness in Self Honesty and writing ourselves to freedom was actually supportive. Till this day I can say: yes it is, absolutely.

At times I would be quite overwhelmed with all the points I would go opening up through Self Forgiveness. It was a process wherein through writing and making it a consistent point within my every day living, it became a habit, a cool habit to start getting to know myself, to see where and how it is required to apply self forgiveness, how to apply self forgiveness for the experiences of the day. I mean, to me writing became like the most enjoyable part of the day and till this day, If I don’t write a day it would be because I’m absolutely sick or something – even if I don’t write blogs on a daily basis, I am continually writing somewhere in the internet or for myself in a notebook. It’s become part of myself – and it’s a very coo habit to develop a point of self-communication wherein we are able to ground ourselves as self-support and share it whenever we can with others as well. Writing and words are the key to this reality – and this is a Destonian realization, we are proving it for ourselves as we walk.

All in all, Self Forgiveness was a trial and error process initially, wherein I virtually began applying Self Forgiveness for everything and all that I noticed in my environment, in my thoughts, in the world – it’s cool though because that’s how I got to discern what is common sense, what is Self Honesty, what are points that I have to open up further and how eventually applying/ living Self Forgiveness would imply the ‘actual doing’/ walking of all of these statements.

This was finally something that I had to ‘make it work’ = it was no quick fix or magical wand as I had desired it initially to be – that’s when I began ‘meeting my maker’ for real, because Self Forgiveness became ‘the way’ to start seeing what the hell on Earth I was thinking and going through at all times as the inner chatter that I had dared to call ‘my best friend.’

WHEN ?

Once I started grasping Self Honesty, I saw that I could no longer be fooling myself with playing the same old ‘me’ when I had clearly set out the reasons, excuses and justifications for me being/ becoming a particular way – the self-interest, the narcissism, the arrogance, the self-inflated ego, the obsessions, the self-created delusions were out and in the open now, I could not fool myself nor did I want to continue deceiving myself. I can openly say now that it is through applying and living Self Forgiveness that I found what Self-Respect is, what actually establishing Self-Trust is based on one’s own writings and realizations and practical-living application of such realizations as well.

The moment that I saw that even after leaving behind all the idea of myself I was still ‘Here,’ fears started vanishing – and I continued walking no matter what. Self Forgiveness became ‘the way of living’ from the perspective of being able to correct myself when seeing ‘the point’ that was missed in a moment wherein – yes – a breath was missed.

Breathing through resistances to bring-through a point within Self Forgiveness, breathing through the initial judgment that may come whenever we expose to ourselves a point that we had suppressed and not looked at out of embarrassment, shame, guilt or fear – breathing through reactions is the way to go once you see the same points emerging after having applied self forgiveness for the point, such as my initial judgment toward Self-Forgiveness in itself.

I remember once buying myself an only-self-forgiveness bloc of notes and the day that I had finished writing on the very last page, I felt ‘so cool’ about it, I planned to save it for the posterity lol – I lost it that same day at the bus station, I realized that such process was not to be ‘cherished’ and that it wasn’t about creating a collection of self-forgiveness, but actually walking through the process of living it, living the correction that I had seen through my writings that I had to stop, correct, align within the principle of what’s best for all. Eventually I understood that I could write heaps – yet if it wasn’t applied, then it was absolutely useless.

I also saw how any ‘good feeling’ I could get out of applying Self Forgiveness, was a mind generated experience and had to be stopped.

When getting specific support on the point through the Tree of Life I realized how ‘my past was still haunting me’ literally and how I was creating an actual experience of rushing or even anxiety in wanting to ‘get rid of the fucker as soon as possible and be at peace,’ without actually realizing that I had to first let go of wanting to ‘overcome myself’ but simply face the points for what they are, self forgive and walk the process at the physical pace of breathing – moment by moment.

This ‘rush’ had to be stopped by first realizing that I had to clear myself from such thoughts of guilt, regret and shame that had emerged when writing myself to freedom, I wanted to ‘get over with it’ as soon as possible. I then realized that ‘there is nothing to attain’, there is nothing to ‘get to’ or ‘become’ – It is about realizing who/ what I really am,  that I am Here and I can’t define and limit myself within a perceived amount of time that I require to do this. So, rushing is linked to a self-competition through time against myself, against the personality I had become. So, forgiving myself for that became the pillar to walk in humbleness, to realize there is nothing to ‘attain’ or get, but is an actual walking-living self-realization that will be proven through our own participation in space and time in our reality.

This also included stopping the expectations or ideals of ‘who I will become once I have applied Self Forgiveness’ – making sure I didn’t form any self-grandeur within it, any ego enhancement as being then ‘more’ than others or now being ‘done’ with myself and not requiring to continue, that’d be rather another mindfuck to debunk indeed – and I remind myself of this every time that it is required. It is a constant living application. 

Living Self Forgiveness

I never knew how layered my personality was until I started applying Self Forgiveness

It was shocking to start seeing how I was essentially avoiding ‘mingling’ with people around me based on this idea/ personality I had of myself. I started realizing how I had become that which I had vehemently judged others for: I had become my own worst nightmare without ever noticing it. By this I mean a rather picky, elitist, judgmental, arrogant being that would only care to ‘spend time’ with those people that would ‘care’ about me as I did for them – conveniently so – I would not give a reverend fuck about the rest, I only cared about my little bubble. So, when applying self forgiveness and going understanding that this process was to expose myself for everything I had become, it initially was something I resisted, just because of fearing to face the reality that I had become, the actual  ‘true nature’ of myself while I had though of myself as being a nice and delightful person. This was then obviously out of still playing out my core-personality, instead of being fully unconditional within the application.

See, the cool thing about Self Forgiveness is that we realize that we’ve existed as patterns, patterns repeat by ‘nature/design’, we realize that due to the extent that we’ve lived as the mind, we will be facing layers upon layers of the same pattern in various different aspects of our reality. Thus, we know we can’t be ‘done with it’ in one go – we’ll in fact amalgamate ourselves to the physical as breath, moment by moment, walking with the necessary patience to go stopping and correcting ourselves. That is translated to simply being able to stop the mind, stop all unnecessary time-loops of repeating the same experiences over and over again, until we realize that we simply require to Stop, Self Forgive and let go of it. Sounds simple, yes, though it takes a constant application that becomes ‘who we are’ every time we stop ourselves from participating in the mind, in every moment that we do not participate in that which seems enticing and alluring to go into – that moment that we don’t ‘go there’ actually supports ourselves to ground ourselves in/as the physical, we prove to ourselves that we can actually do this, that it just takes one breath at the time and sufficient self-will to do it.

I never even thought that I would get to enjoy this process until I simply started living it. I would spend hours writing out self forgiveness because I saw it as a very effective way to go opening up points and almost ‘challenging’ me to transcend my fears of ‘oh no no don’t go in there!’ within my mind wherein I would have to kind of give myself an internal kick in the ass to write the point out. Embarrassment, shame, guilt, heaps of self judgment, self-hatred, a lot of judgments toward other people, the world – I was overwhelmed!  However, it was the most liberating point once it was ‘out’ like a physical relief from having now exposed this rotting corpse to myself, it no longer was this ‘dead talk’ inside my head lingering around, provoking me to go into certain moods or experiences that I would then dare to participate in and define as ‘who I am.’ These experiences began diminishing, simply because I could not kid myself into such thoughts after having extensively exposed them for what they are. Once the can of worms was opened, the can was empty and I filled it up with soil to grow something rather supportive for myself to live in common sense.

The specificity implied in the writing itself of Self Forgiveness has been a key point of support in order to learn how the mind works as a perfect-system for excuses and justifications to not take Self-Responsibility. Hence the only way to ‘tackle’ this problem is through walking an equally specific and perfected system of self correction, which is why Self Forgiveness is such a specific way to correct ourselves. Each word in the basic sentence as ‘I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself…’ is an absolute statement of taking Self Responsibility for having given our lives up to a mind-driven action that was done in inconsideration of who we are as one and equal.

Throughout the process of getting to know how Self Forgiveness works, participating in the forum, reading others’ posts became a pillar and vital point of feedback. I was pretty much amazed how any single action/ event was able to be directed by using the same tools – indistinctly – and how common sense is always able to be established in any given situation, by the fact that every action is exerted through a process wherein a process of decision making is involved: to act or not act – it is self-created and as such, it can be corrected.

How come we had missed this throughout time?

No Excuses: Life Cannot be Denied

I see Self Forgiveness as giving ourselves a second chance to live – to finally create ourselves as that which we see is and will be best for all as one and equal. This sounds ‘cool’ but living the words implies a life-dedication, a commitment toward ourselves that we support ourselves with and share with others. It is a way to expand our ability to see/ realize that who we really are had been caged in our own mind-traps and we are ready to take them all down for we have been the very creators of it all.

There is no ‘mystery ’in Self Forgiveness, it’s not a self-god-given right, it is about understanding that we stop ourselves from existing within a single point of definition or idea of ourselves that limits/ defines who we are, and living it out through first removing/ detaching ourselves from such memory, idea, thought, belief, picture and standing up from having accepted and allowed ourselves to remain limited within such conception of ourselves.

It’s about getting to know ourselves, to learn ‘how’ we function and  take Self-Responsibility for it, which is realizing and understanding  how there will be no miracles happening in order for us to correct what we have accepted and allowed to exist in this world.  We have this one life, one opportunity for us to be the creators of a reality that we are willing to exist as from now on, within common sense, within the principle of what is best for all as equals. This is the single starting point for creation we have missed throughout time – it is only now that we have the opportunity to stand as the living example of what is possible for us human beings to be and become when we become the change that we want to see in this world.

Enjoy living this out for yourself.

Supportive Articles I read to walk Self Forgiveness:

And many more at: http://desteni.org/articles

Self-Forgiveness Blog


2012 The Unraveling

The process of Writing Yourself to Freedom is a self-revelation process that we can all apply in order to become aware of who and what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become = getting to know ourselves within the starting point of actually supporting us to Live in Common Sense. Within this, the basic ingredient is Self Honesty as the starting point for this process is understanding that there are points that are required to be corrected and aligned within the principle of What’s Best for All within the realization of who we are as Equal and One as Life.

What I’ve discovered is that through writing I was able to see myself through words, just like a mirror of the ego wherein my choice of words as the ‘writing style’ was  what I could see myself playing out in, for example, the first vlogs that I made as part of this process. I was able to start seeing myself for the very first time, simply because I hadn’t ever recorded myself and definitely not for the purpose of self-revelation and self-correction. Though, the main point of support throughout this process has been writing wherein it becomes ‘The Point’ of assistance and support to ground ourselves through the Unraveling of the mind, it is that ‘backbone’ or skeleton structure that we can always go back to in order to ‘pour our mind out’ and within that, go disentangling what we perceive as this entire chaos within ourselves as all the thoughts that we have gave our breaths away to.

Let’s look at it like putting the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle together again – lol which is something that has kind of intrigued me how we can be that ‘crazy’ to buy this as a form of entertainment, while we could have just bought the picture ‘as one’ already. However, we as the mind have complicated ourselves and divided us in these thousand-pieces that we then realize we have to put back together for the sake of realizing ourselves as ‘the whole picture.’ Within this process, one can relate to the patience required to go bit by bit putting the pieces back together to create the entire picture, yet having this yearning desire in the back of our head to ‘have the puzzle done.’

I mean, I walked this point of solving jigsaw puzzles and got to know this aspect of having this imminent desire to complete it/ get it done as fast as I could. However I realized that I was trying to ‘beat my own record’ and prove myself that I could do it or walk through my own desperate ways of ‘wanting to get everything done right away’ – yet I forgot how it was the actual process of ‘putting the pieces ‘back together’ that was the entire ‘gist’ of a jigsaw puzzle, otherwise I could have only bought a poster of the image and that’s it.

This is how I have come to understand this process as well, wherein at the beginning -and even at times still – we tend to want to ‘get it all done’ and within this miss out the entire point of it which is actually walking in space and time the self-realization process to see/ realize that ‘we are here,’ and we are learning how to see ourselves for the first time as creators of our reality, to debunk and demystify our existence that we thought –or liked to believe – it would have any form of ‘greatness’ embedded to it, instead of ever realizing that the simplicity – yet wholeness – of who we really are is what’s being missed every time that we tend to ‘go up in our head,’ trying to complicate ourselves, to exalt our idea of who we are because somehow we have linked all of these experiences as ‘being alive.’

We have compromised each other to have to ‘be something’ in this society. Have a look at the questions of ‘what are you/ what do you do?’ and in this already funneling down everything that we actually are to one single profession, one single gender, to a single idea of ourselves while in fact, who we are is much more than just a few words that can give another an ‘idea’ of who we are as our mind – not as the reality that we are as Life.

It is definitely so that we have set up the system wherein we are the only ones that have separated ourselves from the simplicity of seeing things as they are, instead of trying to embed something to it for the sake of creating a constant experience within ourselves according to a point of self-definition a.k.a. ego of the mind. Within this, it is to see how we have covered the simplicity of who we are with the entire ego as the mask/personality that becomes like a second skin that we believe is ‘who we are,’ yet protecting ourselves from even us realizing what/ how and who we really are, which in simplicity is here as a human physical body equal and one to any other being in this world.

The process of writing ourselves to freedom is unraveling this addiction or attachment that we have created on to everything that we have accumulated throughout our life – either in our minds as thoughts/ memories/ feelings/ emotions or as physical possessions, people, places – making of it only a collection of ‘items’ that we have defined as ‘who we are.’ We become so fixated on it that it almost seems impossible to even fathom who and what we will be without all of those threads woven on top of ourselves.

Each point that we apply Self Forgiveness for is like unraveling those threads and start de-weaving the entire cover that we have built on top of ourselves. It might seem quite ‘difficult’ to go through this as it is essentially having to deconstruct and tear down our ‘precious,’ an entire self-creation that we have created a relationship with for an entire lifetime. However, this doesn’t mean that it is impossible or even ‘too late’ which just reminded me of that I-so-late-shun video wherein the moment that we realize what we have become and there’s an idea of ‘there is no way out of it’ and that we are ‘too late to change’ or do anything to take Self Responsibility, the Isolation comes up as a form of accepting one’s ‘fate’ as immovable. It is then our duty to stop any form of backchat that could tell us: ‘it is not possible, it is too much, I will never get to do this’ or even ‘you cannot possibly forgive yourself for this.’

I can only speak from the time I’ve been walking this process and it takes time and a definitive ‘letting go’ of wanting to ‘become something’ or ‘achieve anything’ through writing that I am able to stand one and equal as the words I go realizing through walking this process. The moment that I force myself to it, the starting point is not being equal and one as myself and in that, there can only come a backfire to be reveal to me how I have ‘missed the point,’ simply because it is not to ‘better’ ourselves or ‘improve’ the idea that we have of who we are, but actually align ourselves to walk the understanding of what it is to support oneself as equal and one. It is within those moments that we actually learn and get to know who and what we have become to eventually Self-Forgive the points. As hard as it may seem at any point/stage within our process,  giving us this opportunity to stand up and forgive ourselves is the only way we can finally heal the point and move on to stand in an equal-stance toward ourselves, to no longer remain attached to a single idea and character of who and what we have become.

“The only person standing in your way: Is YOU”
– Bernard Poolman

I have learned so much of myself through this process, getting from an experience of constant insecurity, self doubt and belittling myself to a point of self acceptance and self-recognition to see what I am actually capable of being and standing as when I leave the mind-shit aside.  The fact that we seek recognition in another/ others reveals   to what extent we have denied ourselves as life, how we have basically considered ourselves as ‘non existent’ just because of a set of thinking patterns that we have believed is ‘who we are.’ This really ‘struck me’ at some point, because of how we have diminished ourselves within words as judgments that are not supportive for anyone in any way. How was I able to see and spot this? Through writing myself to freedom, through interacting with others in my reality, through reading and participating in the Desteni Forum wherein we share our realizations and learn how we have all in fact been programmed the exact same way, wherein we realize how each one just constantly sought to have the next ‘quick fix’ as any form of energetic kick in whatever form we would indulge ourselves in.

I have also learned from others as myself, we have gathered our blogs and have created almost an encyclopedia of the human mind for the first time, just because of how it is that we have in fact only now allowed us to speak ‘our truth’ as the reality that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become, yet kept ‘secret’ because of our own egos standing on the way of equality all this time.

Exposing ourselves might not seem like the mind’s favorite game, it is not nice or pretty – yet this is the foundation of what standing in Self Honesty is: daring to bring up that which had been only rotting as a corpse in the closet for ages, never daring to expose it because of the attachment that we had toward it – along with any other judgment toward the fact of having kept it there for such a long time – as weird as it may sound, it seems we all have this tendency to keep our strings attached to that which we know is not best for all, not beneficial. It is only when we Do take the necessary scissors in the form of writing and applying/ living Self-Forgiveness that we can start seeing the range of possibilities that we can stand as in Equality.

It’s fascinating how we have married ourselves to an idea of self, to our own religion, to our own mind and within this, reducing reality to a single system of words and pictures that we have impressed with values and worth as ‘who we are,’ which is unacceptable considering the actual reality we are disregarding in such selfish limited ‘view’ of ourselves and the world.

The unraveling is thus withdrawing from that constant fix that we have created for ourselves in whatever way we had chosen our ‘fix’ to be, which is linked to our ego/ personality as belief, ideas, feelings, thoughts – I mean, we can just look at our incessant ‘thinking’ and we’ll have a direct proof of how we have built ourselves up. Hence writing it out is precisely placing our entire programming/ pattern in front of ourselves – either on a piece of paper or our computer screen – and dare to face it all as our creation, and from here, take Self Responsibility for it using Self Forgiveness as a tool to become really specific on getting to know ourselves, using it as a shovel to make sure we dig out all that is deeply rooted within ourselves as self definitions.

This is how the idea of god or any other magical force around us must be debunked, as there was never any mysterious cause for how things are in this world, for who and what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become.

For a moment it might seem like we are scared of now leaving everything we have known ourselves to-be behind, and I can say that this is just like any other addict that believes they cannot live without their fix – yes, it takes almost a withdrawal process wherein the symptoms are usually ‘wanting to give up’ or ‘not wanting to continue with this’ – without realizing that giving up is of the mind and that’s precisely what we are realizing here is Not who and what we really are.

Thus, we continue walking here – I have this tendency to apologize myself for talking/ writing too much, but it’s all that I had to say today after having heard a couple of interviews and discussing points with people that are also walking this process wherein all I can see is that ‘the only point that stands in our way is ourselves’ and within that, there is nowhere else to look for answers other than here, getting to know ourselves and will ourselves to live a self-corrective process to stand in Equality as Life.  I could not see myself doing anything else as this is the time where I can finally say I don’t have any more ‘questions’ around my existence, I don’t require to ‘know more’ about it, I just require to get myself to a point of equality as myself and within that, actually learn how to live and coexist as all that is here.

Never underestimate the power of our own words – we are here to Live them.

Suggest to Listen to:

2012: Is Hope an Illusion?

2012: World Transformation – The How-To
2010 Life is NOT an Experience

Why I would not want to be God (Part One) by Heath Ledger


‘Oh, but I’m only a Human (Failure)’

One of the points that I struggled with to actually accept as a point to stand equal and one with was the word ‘Perfection’ wherein when that point of Self-Perfection came out I first saw it as a point wherein we allow that ‘flawed nature’ as humans within a ‘flawed system’ wherein the best justification available for all fuckups when not taking self responsibility is ‘oh but we’re only human’ or ‘I’m not perfect, I am a human’ and within that allowing ourselves to diminish ourselves as our the potential that we are actually capable and able to stand equal and one with.

We can see within that ‘flawed nature’ we diminish ourselves, it is that single back door existent in all of us when we tend to say ‘oh fuck it I don’t see myself getting to this/that point’ and it’s like a form of giving up before even starting and seeing it as ‘normal’ within is when it is not, it’s part of that which we’ve allowed ourselves to become through our participation in society, in the education system.

So when understanding Self-Perfection I realized that we’ve simply accepted perfection as something that is apparently ‘more than us’ because we’ve been used to believe that ‘perfection doesn’t exist’ which is what I told Bernard at the farm when this point was opened up and then he replied ‘Yes, perfection doesn’t exist, we create it’ and that made complete and full sense as that ‘click’ in the moment on how I was by-default giving up to actually realize that it is possible to create ourselves as self-perfection as life – obviously throughout a process that we begin with ourselves, point by point yet aligning ourselves within this very point of self perfection as what’s best for all – cool isn’t it? Being able to re-design ourselves as human beings simply because we are able to do so, it’s a matter of understanding why it’s best for all, why we require to live as equals to the fullest potential and then simply being the actual steps into applying this as ourselves.

See, before in my life when looking at solutions to this world, I would always end up saying that this world would have to be changed from its root/starting from scratch and applying that as ourselves in this moment is us re-educating ourselves at this stage paving the way for future generations – This begins with for example re-educating the now to be parents so that the same patterns and cycles of ignorance and disregard of life are able to be stopped with everyone realizing ourselves as Self-Perfection. And, when we talk about re-education it means the entire education system has to be modified within the starting point of supporting an Equality System and not a Capitalist ruthless competitive system which in itself will change the way ‘buildings are built’ so to speak – thus if we see ourselves as capable of building and creating in this world already at the level that we are doing now, we simply veer all of that to an equality starting point wherein Self-Perfection as the ability to give the best of ourselves for everyone equally is actually created, to realize that optimum level of existence as an individual and collectively is actually possible –

And this point of ‘Perfection not existing’ is something that I saw in this movie called ‘Tron’ wherein they imply how people end up going all nuts and sick of power when seeking perfection – so at the end they state that clearly on how they cannot go looking for perfection, creating a perfect system which they equate to almost a fantastic-like equivalent to fascism. So we can see how within your movies nowadays – which is a Disney movie btw for kids and all general public – we get the idea of people giving up to be able to live in an actual Perfect world – heaven on earth – wherein from a young age they are then indoctrinated to thin ‘Seeking perfection will make us mad, we can’t be perfect, perfection doesn’t exist’ and within that accepting the flawed ‘nature’ of ourselves as humans and the reflection of ourselves as the current system as ‘how things are’ not being able to be changed apparently – so that’s quite a fucked up point that is being imprinted in kids through that movie.

So, we do have to clarify the point of how when standing as Equals as Life, we we will be then actually living as Self Perfection as that which should’ve always been the actual ‘nature’ of ourselves within this world which never has been in fact due to us accepting the single fact of ‘human error/nature’ as ‘how we are’ and thus giving into failure by default – within that we can see how we are used to seeing things breaking apart – lol from agreements/relationships/marriages/families/associates/partners etc to electric appliances and all other technology designed to not last on purpose to have clients buying every year yet deliberately using this tactic because of the pre-existent belief in people that ‘nothing is perfect = things are able to break down’ or ‘ it is actually how things are and can’t be changed’ – and within that single acceptance and the proliferation of it as ‘who we are’ we have our own creation as this world wherein self perfection is placed as a crazy person’s unattainable dream.

Hear us well, we are here to get ourselves to realize ourselves as that Self Perfection that we’ve never known due to our own limitations towards this point – we are here to remove all threads of self-imposed limitation, capping ourselves, placing a lampshade to not allow ourselves to give the totality of our potential – and thus because seeing everyone else accepting that point of ‘failure’, we accept that as ourselves, as the world and entire system with everyone participating within an ingrained acceptance of ‘we are able to fail and fuck it all up, it’s our nature’ which is what must stop in all ways. Thus the importance of having to remove that inherent flawed idea of ourselves to no longer re-create that at the greater-picture level which is the current world system wherein the greatest atrocities and crimes against life are then justified and covered up with the excuse ‘Oh but I’m only human, we are not perfect’

No more excuses to be One and Equal as Life –


‘Natural’

What is ‘Natural’ to us?

This comes through as something that we can easily relate-to and something that seems fairly ‘easy’ or that doesn’t require an extra-effort or struggle to do – this can only be through pre-programming, information acquired from dna and other information transferred as ‘who we are’ as an energetic-personality point. This point explains why to someone being ‘disciplined’ is fairly easy or ‘natural’ and why to others it is something to struggle-with and not ‘natural’ which means that ‘extra-effort’ has to be placed to actually get to a constant position as ‘discipline’. This is one of the points wherein we still exist in inequality in relation to one another and thus the importance of Equalizing everyone and establishing common-sensical points for all to live as.

From this point I remember early on in process applying self forgiveness for that which I perceived as ‘natural’ as in being something that I considered as ‘quality’ within myself, and thus forgiving myself as that program that I had become and lived as which maintained the inequality from other beings which certainly created a ‘difference’ in relation to me and my peers at some point – thus from an early age pondered ‘why’ it is that for some kids some things are easy, ‘natural’ and some others aren’t which can be precisely the opposite points of what I am ‘naturally’ able to do and what I’m not able to do with such ease as others – basic simple comparison points which lead to that constant inequality fed and ingrained even more with the way the Education System works..

So, within applying Self Forgiveness for that which I perceived as the ‘good’ or ‘qualities’ within myself, I declared myself as being able to now direct and take on this resonant points as self direction and giving it an equal and one cause – within this the perceived ‘specialness’ has obviously to be deleted and stand as a point wherein everyone has to inevitably get to – if even a crumb of desire of being ‘special remains’ it is to realize: Equalization in a total-complete manner is not being supported by you.

 

Within discussing the point of how two people can ‘come-together’ I placed the word ‘Natural’/’Naturally’ when speaking about it which was pointed out by Lauri and thus a very cool observation of how we take for granted the point of ‘what is natural’ and thus immediately taken for granted as what comes ‘natural’ as in being inherently pre-programmed and seems ‘easy to relate-to’ which is simply – in this example-  how it is most likely due to a resonant point that we perceive a point to be ‘natural’ –

Redefining Natural implies applying self forgiveness for that which we’ve accepted as ‘natural’ yet we see it is not ‘natural’ for everyone equally and thus, apply and live the corrective application of self-directive points that we see are able to be applied by everyone equally as part of the equalization of human stance and basic self-support to be able to live in this world in full-capacity of standing equal to any other being without having to make-use of ‘preprogrammed’ points that can create a ‘huge’ difference.

I realize we can’t get to be completely and exactly the same and that at the moment we got our ‘weak’ points which have to become our ‘strength’ which is basically taking that ‘low’ to an average level and our ‘strengths’ we can use for the best of all within the system, yet not defining ourselves or ‘adding’ the illusion of ‘extra-value’/ ‘value’ for that which comes-through as such – everything has to be directed within a one and equal stance so that we make-sure we don’t support the inherent inequality that keeps this world turning in separation of one another – not only beings as ‘humans’ but everything else – knowledge is a fuck up – so being self-conscious at the level of ‘what is natural to us’ is simply accepting that definition to be creating a rift within the moment as we are limiting and defining ourselves according to such parameters which is only ‘praising’ our programming –

Found it quite cool to reflect upon this and how it came-through as my expression as a ‘normal word’ yet not really placing myself as the word and seeing what it entailed as my experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think believe and perceive myself to have ‘natural abilities’ that stand as the comparison point of that which isn’t coming ‘naturally’ to other humans

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having ever praised my ‘natural abilities’ of doing something in relation to others and thus, existing as constant comparison just like any system that is defined according to the environment, instead of simply acting in the moment, directing and using that which exists as ‘myself’ for the best of all – this implies no self definition as being ‘special’ for such qualities or ‘less than’ if perceiving myself to ‘not’ have these ‘qualities’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever ‘show off’ my abilities/capabilities for the sake of being considered as ‘superior’ or to ‘hide’ whenever i considered myself to exist in a position of disparity in relation to others as being ‘inferior’-to and ‘incapable’-of doing what others did.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse of everyone having a ‘weak-point’ and a ‘strong-point’ as a form of never pushing myself to transcend my own accepted limitations and seeing it as ‘the way the system works’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use my perceived/accepted ‘strong-points’ as a point to compensate for my apparent ‘lack’-of and ‘inability’ to do/perform/resolve and stand as a particular point that I saw would come with great ease towards others, thus seeking points to ‘feel better’ about myself by feeling that I had to ‘push’ to bring-up my ‘natural abilities’ so that I wasn’t seen as ‘inferior’/ ‘incapable’-of, ‘less’-than.

Within that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to support the inequality as the system within myself by supporting the idea of myself as having ‘weak’ and ‘strong’ points that had to be balanced out by making myself ‘more-than’ when perceived being in an ‘inferior-point’ and ‘feeling-better’ about myself whenever being in the perceived ‘more-than’/’superior’ position in which I would feel ‘at ease’ and everything coming/ existing as something ‘natural’ to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use ‘natural’ as a word to create a reference for that which I have accepted within myself  as a ‘strength’ which implies that this ability is not ‘natural’ per se, but acts in relation to an immediate process of comparing myself to another wherein I use ‘natural’ only in relation to a point of ‘struggle’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to understand and use the word ‘natural’ as a ‘positive’-point, as a ‘strength’ and as something that ‘makes me more than others’ wherein self-deception lies within this point showing that I use the word ‘natural’ as a way of ‘showing off’ and ‘swaggering’ around my ‘abilities’ and/or ‘qualities’ which have come through and played-out only to create further separation between beings and myself – standing within both polarities ‘more-than’ and ‘less-than’ –

swagger’ – self importance

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make use of that which I defined as being ‘natural’ to me as a point of ‘arrogance’ and creating ‘self-importance’ in relation to others – any definition within a polarity point has to exist in relation to others thus,

I forgive myself that  I have accepted and allowed myself to live myself as a definition, as a role and pre-programmed character that reflects upon-itself in comparison to others just to find  a point of ‘identification’ in relation to others –

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever accept the point of ‘knowing myself’ as a point to enhance the ‘self importance’ I perceived of myself instead of ever questioning this and using it as self support to see where I am not standing equal-to another and allowing separation perceiving that it is a ‘natural thing’ for some to be ‘up’ and some to be ‘down’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever accept ‘inequality’ as something ‘natural’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept ‘flaws’ and ‘qualities’ which stand as the polarity I play-out as ‘natural’ and thus believing, thinking and perceiving I can’t do ‘anything’ as it is ‘the way it is’, it is ‘natural’

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to perceive ‘fear’ as something ‘natural’

wait… I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to see/perceive and believe that anything of me that I play-out as ‘who I am’ is something ‘natural to me’ because I see and realize there is nothing ‘natural’ in the re-defined way – we are going to be re-programming ourselves which implies ‘new program’ and correcting/aligning points we’ve already been programmed as.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see the experience of becoming ‘horny’ as natural instead of realizing it is an actual energetic-possession taking place wherein I have to direct it as breathe here to diffuse the energetic compound and thus, not give-in to the possession but actually use it as a point of self-support for the entirety of myself in the moment –

I have to apply that diligently still

So, after this elucidating self forgiveness and writing – I can see I use the words ‘until it becomes ‘natural’ as self’ – so within our process it is to take on points that we realize we can apply and live as ourselves (here is where whenever you see something of someone that you see in common-sense it is supportive and usually comes as a point of ‘comparison’ or ‘judgment’ ) and thus live that point as something ‘natural’ – natural within the realization of who we are as systems within a system and thus being able to live-ourselves as the correction of certain points until it becomes ‘ourselves’ due to the constant application = we end up living the words as ourselves ‘naturally’ as what’s best for all – this is so until All is Equal and thus we can actually explore what ‘natural’ as Actual Life is – because Life cannot exist yet if Equality is not in place –

I see that point as important to take-on to see that there is still lots to walk-through to get this point done for all equally.

Okay, enjoy

thanks

 


Must All Test It!

So!

We’ve been busy working with Muscle Testing and the Structural Resonance Alignment which has been fascinating because it is Here for the First time that Ourselves as the Physical is able to communicate to get to know how or where we’re standing within ourselves as our Structural Resonance

The points I’ve been recently working with is compromise/commitment from the starting point of feeling that I’m ‘holding back’  within the point of standing as myself – alone –

So the points that tested out were completely fascinating as it immediately turned on to the definition of ‘commitment’ from a relationship perspective – merely indicates that I’m still existent within this ‘desire’ for a relationship  – yet

Desire is created as a Polarity Manifestation of FEAR – therefore in my mind manifested ‘desire’ for a relationship, I am actually creating a polarity thought based on fearing a relationship –

Digging ‘deeper’ to see which thoughts were related to such points, the thought of ‘man is evil’ came up – within this I realized that I’ve been constantly having thoughts on our ‘nature’ and how we’ve fucked up our existence by our own hand, by our own actions that we’ve placed in motion in complete disregard of LIFE –

So within this, I experienced great sadness last week because of realizing that we’ve missed our ‘chance’ to self realize in an ‘easy way’ – we now have to go through the actual PHYSICAL process which is leading to the same point – yet, we have to face ourselves in this Life and ‘make the best out of it’ because this is IT – we stand or we don’t stand and this is our last shot – within this I felt completely ‘down’ because of realizing how we’ve fucked it all up in such a way that we think we can’t stop – yet we keep creating the system everyday, we keep existing within our own bubbles, in our minds trying to ‘make the best out of it’ without actually snapping out of the very same thoughts that create this experience of ‘ourselves’ as ‘who we think we are’ and ‘how is it that we’re applying ourselves’ –

Real change, real Physical CHANGE exists in every moment of Breath – we know it, yet we’re not doing it – yet we still abuse one another without considering what the fuck is it that we’re really doing in that moment of allowing ourselves to step into one of the multiple patterns that keep dishonesty as our ‘meek nature’ – ‘as it is’ – within this self abuse is tolerated and accepted as part of something that apparently ‘cannot be changed’ – fascinating fuck up

So – I see where the point of ‘man is evil’ comes from – fearing one another, seeing that if we are the real evil and we’ve created this place as our image and likeness -then no one can be trusted, then we are all fucked up and there’s no way out within my thought patterns without seeing that within this thoughts I am creating my own demise –

Therefore, in the ‘commitment’ a Fear of ‘men is evil’ comes within the consideration of ‘how can I stand as myself If I see myself as Evil – as a complete fuck up within this world ‘ – and how could I possibly walk through this with another who is also an ‘evil man’ as me  – which are still thoughts that are completely unnecessary from the perspective that I’m judging myself within this, and making myself as ‘incapable’ of standing up – self defeated by conscious thoughts of ‘we’re a fuck up, we’re a mess, we’re fucking scum, there’s no way we’re going to go through this’ – without realizing that these are thoughts created by the mind  – instead of standing only here as Breath as LIFE direct, to the point, no thought, no judgment, no compounded information allowing me to feel ‘overwhelmed’ by what’s going on – because at the moment we live in our own ‘worlds’ where we’re not aware of people being abused, raped or murdered – they don’t exist within our ‘reality’ yet they are us as we are all One –  So – within clearing the points, I realized that I’ve been consciously creating these experiences by constant thoughts as information which merely support this ‘self defeated’ experience within myself of ‘oh we as humanity are not going to make it’ –

It was interesting seeing that the sadness wasn’t experience from a personal experience, but seeing humanity as a whole and where we’ve lead us to –

Now, it is very cool that we are giving the first steps to begin connecting with our Physical Body and actually being able to correct our experiences which are created by a thought and manifested as our physical body – which is actually the point of getting to know what we are working with and from there, stand, realize and support ourselves as ourselves – alone – to realize who we really are when there are no more ‘experiences’ happening to us -but instead becoming the directive principle of ourselves within the starting point of what’s best for ALL

So committing to myself is establishing myself as who I really am beyond limitations of any kind as thoughts, emotions, feelings – fascinating how the body cannot fuck with you and is actually able to ‘bring out’ the shit that we usually suppress out of various limitations that we’ve accepted and allowed ourselves to become – interesting – fascinating –

Testing others has been fucking amazing as well as each word, each thought, pattern is related to their previous tests and sessions – which is merely confirming the point of actual communication with the body for the first time in an instant communication response through the Muscle – fascinating

Muscle -Must all Tes!


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